But That’s What I Saw!

Oh my. This week is coming after me with a vengeance. My counselor used to tell me that I lived for stress, that it propelled me, and I don’t think that’s true, but it is true that I can rise (and fall) to the occasion. By the way, if you’re worried that I’m not doing fabric things too…I am. I sewed a label on Monday night, and last night, I did some drawing on the next big quilt, which I might start before I finish the other two. Oh wait, I’ve already started if I’m drawing, huh? So yeah, let’s do the fabric-related stuff first. I taped the big drawing together on Friday or Saturday night…can’t remember. Then I’ve been letting ideas percolate in my brain. I’ve got this whole crone/Mother Tree thing reverberating as all the crap comes in from the states banning abortions and letting healthy women get sick before they deal with miscarriages etc. I’m so angry about that. Nah! Medicine is stupid, right?! I tell you, we deserve to die out at the moment with some of the stupidity that abounds. So somehow all that is gonna get into one drawing. OK. A challenge. I need a challenge that takes my brain off work right now. So last night, I cleared everything OFF the drawing, then penciled a crone and a tree in (which you can’t see), but also finished all their legs and feet (which I didn’t photograph), and started with missiles.

The thicker black line is from the original drawing…the thinner is what I was adding.

Like I said, missiles. More to go. Now I have a plan. I only had about 25 minutes. After dinner and doing computer stuff to totally revise what I’m doing because my digital projector bulb at school went out Monday morning and they still haven’t found a replacement so I’ve been teaching without one and/or in the library, which is killing my hips for some reason…standing in there is just really bad on my body for some reason. I’m wearing different shoes today and trying to remember to sit down, but it’s a shitty setup in there, my kids all try to sit with their friends and then talk, which they won’t do in the assigned seats in the classroom. As much. Let’s be real. The worst part is the lack of communication from the district and our IT person. Literally no one answered the emails. It wasn’t until yesterday at 9:45 AM, almost 24 hours after the first email went out, that I knew we didn’t even HAVE a replacement bulb. Because why would we keep those around? Because teachers can’t teach without them? I did make a comment to my principal about feeling sick leave coming on if one didn’t show up for today (it won’t; hence my revising last night at 9 PM, fuckers). So. Yeah. My legs are already pissed at me. SCHOOL. Also don’t ask about literacy, the sub plan I don’t have for Friday because IDK what I’ll be doing or how far I’ll be or even what room my poor sub will be in while I’m doing literacy, so I guess I’m writing that Thursday night? Or next week’s stuff that I didn’t ask for. I’m not sleeping again. Grinding my teeth.

So in response? I’ve been claying more. I was so pleased on Monday…I finally got Her Weirdness done…

The holes in the arms are for hanging fabric wings of some sort. The tubes on top, fabric hair of some sort. If I ever sew again.

I’ll sew again. No worries. The back is not as exciting. And then, when I was trying to get her on a drying shelf, she tumbled. Sigh. She didn’t tumble far, but far enough. Ceramics is breakable and a pain and melts when it’s hot and is sometimes unpredictable and cracks and shit happens. I remember that. And it’s OK. It really is. She tumbled because I’m short. And now I know how tall the tallest lower shelf is and I will plan for that. Maybe. Really. I’m not good at following the rules anywhere.

So I started reassembling. Monday was really going to be putting the head on, triumphantly putting her on the drying shelf, and then finishing the planter that was going to be a mug but that was too big. Ha! That’s a no. So I went in yesterday too, just because I didn’t want to leave it until Friday and have parts drying all over the place. And first, I finished the damn planter to get SOMETHING on the drying shelf.

I know. Not fancy. Just a planter. I do have plans for some pretty utilitarian stuff.

And then I started in on her. There was one person in the studio when I started and he left pretty soon after, and then it was just me and that damn fly that wouldn’t leave me alone. I fixed both hands and the head, which had a crease in it, and then the cat, the poor cat, who is still missing some leg parts and her tail (that’s Friday). She looks angrier, which is acceptable…

That one eyelid. I thought about fixing it but I kind of like it. Yes, she separated in the middle, so I’ve been rehydrating that join on both sides, but everything else was so fragile, I didn’t want to try putting her together again yet. The left arm broke in half with part of the supporting wing, so I had fixed that on Monday, and did more repairs on it yesterday. It’s missing part of the bottom, so that’s a Friday fix. Can’t do it now, because it’s lower than the rest of that part. Can’t have it leaning on that. Then on the bottom, I fixed the snake head and tail, plus that weird lip the cat stands on. Those need to solidify before the next step.

I had this whole moment of ‘this is why clay is annoying; it breaks and shit happens’ and then I remember fabric has its own issues of dyes bleeding and machines refusing to stitch and looping thread nests, and I’m like, all these are solvable problems. I have the expertise and the knowledge. I can fix things. So I did. I can’t say that I didn’t cry a little bit on the way home, but that’s more a Holy Shit Can the School Year Just Fucking End thing than desperation because of clay breaking or no sewing machine or no projector bulb or Please Pile More Shit on Me school crap.

Big deep breath. Today is a mess. Tomorrow is a semi-mess. I will do fabric-related things both days while trying to plan school crap. I have so many things that need to get done that are not happening. Friday I will put Her Weirdness back together and get her on a shelf. Then I get to start something new in clay. Which sounds nice. Maybe something less than 17″ tall so it will fit on a shelf. Good plan. Today is all the things. In the library. (with a knife? or a bulb?) Then union meeting, late pilates, dinner, work(?), then draw. Sounds nice when you get to the end.

This is too real…

They forgot 7. Draw random scribbles that don’t look like anything and then gaslight your teacher by proclaiming, ‘But that’s what I saw!’. Yeah.

I’m concerned about the baby owls. We definitely had two. We could see them in the hole of the box in the videos. Then there was a lot of screeching Monday night. Last night, I never heard a baby. There is video of mom or dad(?) dropping food off. Maybe mom is laying another egg and babies are quiet because she’s in there? Hopeful. Don’t remember any quiet nights in the last two years though. Hoping everything is OK. Last year, there was one, then it went quiet, and then it was about three weeks before we heard another one. And we found one skeleton in the box. So yeah. Hope on.

Morning

Good morning. Or morning, as I prefer. I mean, maybe if I looked out my window and saw endless forest vistas and no humans, maybe that would count as a good morning, especially if I could roll over and go back to sleep, but that’s not really a common occurrence for me. Unfortunately. There are 43 days of school left. I did not accomplish much of anything this weekend except spending time with visiting family, which is a good thing…so there’s that. But I have no lunches prepared for school for this week (yet), I forgot to defrost my breakfasts so I’m eating cereal (at least I have that), I graded one assignment and posted one assignment, no two (it’s fine; I can do it during class), and I planned nothing for next week. That worries me a bit, but I’ll just have to work more during the week to get there. I also lost my mat cutter somewhere in the house, and I need to cut two mats. I don’t want to buy another new one. I know how to cut mats without it, but it’s a pain. So there’s that.

So WTF did I do? The Man’s band (Radio Thieves) had a show on Friday night…they opened, so I was home by 11 (good thing really…I was exhausted)…

I did not go to bed right away, though, because that would make too much sense. I taped more of the drawing together and added paper to the top and bottom for more drawing.

Went to bed way too late, then got up way too early (for my weekend brain) for the online SAQA conference. I did the morning coffee meetups, then took a shower, drove to the ceramics studio, and listened to all the webinars…well, in between people trying to talk to me. I did put a neck on the head and forgot to photograph it (I’m really bad at remembering to photograph things there)…then added grass to the bottom of the planter.

This was going to be a mug until I realized how big it would be.

All my home mugs have cracks in them right now. I’m waiting for them to leak. So far, so good. But I wanted to make a mug of my own. And since I don’t throw on the wheel, handbuilt is how it’s gonna be. I’ll get there. But this is a planter.

After ceramics, I putzed around the house a bit, trying to get my brain to function, then headed over to my parents’ because my brother, my SIL, and one of my nephews were in town to visit colleges, and we were gonna hang out. Which is what we did…both Saturday night, and then Sunday night, with a hike on Sunday afternoon as well. Lots of family fun and arguments about nipples. Don’t even ask.

Saturday night, after we came back, I finished the binding and sleeves on this…

It just needs a label and hanging slats and it’s ready for delivery on Saturday…but I need to frame the drawing; hence the need to cut the mat, so that’s a thing to figure out this week.

Here’s one hike picture…

And one nephew picture, with Simba…

Last night, we got home later and there was no art happening. There wasn’t much of anything happening except folding my laundry. So there’s a hefty to-do list this week, but it was worth it. Not sure how Kitten feels about it.

Yeah. I feel that way this morning too. Fill up the teacup a little more.

This sucks. I’m glad I was able to see some of her work in person in Los Angeles last year.

Her work was some of the first quilt work I saw that wasn’t traditionally pieced and seemed to tell a story. She was an amazing storyteller. The world will miss her insights.

Leaving you with this…

Am I the only one who wants to know what’s under that black rectangle? There are a lot of pictures of emotional support sharks on the internet. Who knew?

OK. School…kids are finishing up an assignment from last week that does not require a lot of my input, except for all the kids who were absent half of last week for Eid and other excuses, so yeah, that’s fun. I can hopefully plan some space stuff for next week (if the other teacher answers me) and post things for the rest of this week, plus write sub plans to be out half a day for literacy on Friday. Fun times. Then a staff meeting about state testing and hopefully ceramics studio time, plus yardwork, making lunches for the rest of the week (it would be nice to have something besides random food I found in the freezer), starting to iron that one quilt together or drawing the next big one. The sewing machine is awaiting parts with no estimate of when they will arrive. Frustrating, but I will survive. No, I don’t want to borrow other people’s machines. I hate trying to sew on other people’s machines. I will just do other things until I get mine back. Thank you. I’m so tired, y’all…I guess this is how we do the next 43 school days.

The Now Feeling

Happy Eid! If you celebrate it. I have a chunk of kids who will be out for the next three days. Unfortunately, I can’t quit teaching for those days, so I’ll need to record some videos at some point to explain what they’re missing. Because it’s a lot of my high-level students. I’m not sure WHEN I’m going to record those videos because my to-do list for school hit epic proportions yesterday. EPIC. Ugh. I drove home in a daze, on the verge of tears just because I didn’t know what to do or ask next, so many threads to an uncontrollable ball. So I came home, had a snack, read my book for a bit, and called my mom to ask if I could come borrow her sewing machine. I hate sewing on unfamiliar machines…it takes longer to learn it than I want to spend…especially when I know this step shouldn’t take long. Mom’s isn’t the same as mine exactly…it’s the fancier version, two releases past mine, so it’s close enough. I quilted…

Lots of tiny things. I finished quilting in a little over an hour…

Then I trimmed it and put the binding on. I usually zigzag the edges after putting the binding on, but it would have meant replacing the plate, and I couldn’t find the zigzag plate, and I was tired and it was 8 PM and I hadn’t eaten and the day was a shitshow (well, not teaching…it was fine, successful even, but the adult crap just sucks), so I didn’t zigzag (don’t tell…I’m sure it’s fine and that’s some Type A shit I do sometimes when I sew and the quilt will be fine). I went home, started dinner, honestly I should have just reheated leftovers, but I didn’t eat that artichoke last week, and they go bad, and I love artichokes so I cooked it. Nova guarded the quilt…

I pinned it before I went to bed and will sew it starting tonight…

Progress! It has to be delivered next weekend, so it needed to get done.

Monday was the eclipse. I stole two pairs of glasses from the boychild because I forgot to buy them at the store, and pulled two of my classes out to see…

Some of the kids were like, oh, ho hum, and some of them were like WHOA. So that was good. I told them I’d meet them here for the next one in 2044. That seemed to jolt them a bit.

After the 2-hour staff meeting on Monday, where we had to be able to concentrate and read and take a test (not MY brain in the afternoon), I went to the ceramics studio for 90 minutes and made a head.

The chin is an issue, and I haven’t dealt with the top and the lips need some help, but this clay isn’t groggy enough for me to do much. I need to let it solidify a bit. There’s paper towels inside and I built a little cradle so it could harden up in a round shape. We’ll see how that goes, because I can’t go back until probably Saturday. Ugh. It’s too tall for my shelf now, so once I put the head on, it needs to be ready to go to the drying shelf. Which is crowded at the moment. It’s fine.

Monday, I also finished cutting these out.

I sorted them too…

So that one’s ready to iron together. Then I need a machine. I’m not used to having so many in-process things at once. My brain is not happy. I also need to start a new big one and I’m waiting to hear about possibly needing to make another one…I think some people don’t realize how long it takes to make my stuff. Especially when I’m teaching. And having surgery. And work on my house. And and and. Well, making clay too.

Anyway. Today. Gotta get things done. I’ll be binding tonight. I already know that. So that’s progress and it will feel good when it’s done. I like to check boxes. It makes me feel less like a chicken running around with their head cut off. Which is very much the now feeling.

Clover…

OK. It’s official. My Spring Break to-do list is taking over the world and there’s no stopping it. It just gets worse every time I try to cross things off of it. I mean, right now, I’m staring out the window at a beautiful blue spring sky and the yellow clover flowers (are they clover? I don’t know. The bunnies like it whatever the fuck it is…it’s definitely a weed, but it dies off pretty easily, so I only pull it when it’s in the way of something else that’s trying desperately to grow) are covering the slope, and all I see are the new growth suckers that need to be trimmed off the ashes, and that one branch that seems to be broken and hanging toward the ground. UGH. So much yard work.

Last night, I sorted the Wonder Under pieces finally (didn’t have the brainpower on Saturday night)…it took a whopping 14 minutes, y’all. So I could have done it at any time.

And here’s why I put it off…I then needed to spend 90 minutes cleaning the office so I could pick the next quilt’s fabrics. I folded, I ironed, I cleaned up. Mostly. So tonight, I can iron. Sigh. I want my sewing machine back dammit.

Saturday night’s opening was busy and overstimulating. Here’s my piece, Damaging Earth’s Fabric in the Allied Craftsmen show at the Oceanside Museum of Art.

And me in front of a piece by William Leslie and Alessandra Colfi…

That was about all the energy I had for the night. It rained all day until we left (well, and then rained on the way up). I was tired. I didn’t make it to the ceramics studio in the morning like I’d wanted to. I ended up going after we got home from the opening. I was tired and irritable, and wanted to get to the next stage on this thing…there’s a fine line between too hard and not hard enough to support stuff. So I went in at 8 PM for about 90 minutes and got some more coiling done…

Made a cat butt…

And then added it to the thing…whatever it is. OK, it’s human, mostly female. I think. Think about my drawings made 3D in clay and that’s kinda where I’m at right now.

IDK if the boobs will stay put…everything was a little soft. Ha! Not really. We’ll see later today hopefully. I need to find out how tall I can go. The head might need to be separate. I also just signed up for an sgraffito class. So there’s that. Yes, I still love fabric. Yes, I’m still making quilts. I’m just side-obsessed. It’ll be fine.

Yeah that. Constantly. Mostly I’m OK with the awkward. Sometimes it’s awkward.

That’s not entirely true. I’m still grading things and trying to lesson plan. There was a cat in the way this morning though and the chair was in the sun, so I let her have it. I’ll do some later.

Here’s cat TV…

That moth was still wriggling.

OK, doc appointment (lots of those this week), then I need to do some of the to-do list, then go to the gym, then go to ceramics. Those are all good things. I can read my book at the gym. It’s a nice day out too. So some yardwork is called for. It’s a Monday but not a school day. I can enjoy that.

Why?

Omigod omigod omigod, Spring Break is finally here…well, in 8 hours and 8 minutes, except I have to do duty after school and then set up or clean up or something, so a little bit more than that. Yes, I’m still sick, but not as bad as the two I live with were, so that’s a plus. Knock on wood. I met with a contractor last night who will start fixing the things that caused the flooding in January (or at least caused the shit ton of rain to come in the house…I don’t doubt we will have more instances of shit tons of rain, unfortunately). It won’t be cheap. There isn’t much I can do about that. It won’t be a quick fix either; we’ll be doing stuff in the summer too. Ugh. My summer already is problematic. Ah well. It’s not summer yet.

I was planning on finishing these two small quilts in the next few days. On Wednesday, I pinbasted the one I need for a show at the end of April…

And then continued stitchdown on the one that’s been hanging around for a while.

My machine needs service, a good cleaning. I had it on my list to call today after it was being fussy the night before, and then last night during my stitching Zoom. I had done about 35 minutes on it and then walked away to eat my dinner.

Usually the machine powers down if I don’t turn it off (and I didn’t want to reset everything, so I didn’t power down), but when I came back, it would turn on, it would beep, but the touch screen wouldn’t turn on. I restarted, I unplugged, I googled, but it looks like who knows WTF is going on, and I can’t sew dammit. REALLY? WHY. WHY. WHY. Deep breaths. OK. Calling them during my prep period. It’s fine; I can start drawing tonight instead, but My Goodness. Universe, you suck.

In better art news, they made personalized marketing for two of the upcoming shows…this is awesome!

Turns out Stitchpunk will be in Oregon in summer 2026. Plan that trip now in my head at least. Warn the Man it’s coming.

Nice choice. Fierce Planets isn’t coming close yet.

There’s still time.

Interestingly, I only have to teach advisory and two classes today, due to the dumbass planning of the literacy team. I’ll be in the library for the rest of the day. Planning things. Sounds lovely, eh? It’s pajama day too, so I’m enjoying that. Although I would have sewn up this pocket in my PJ pants if the sewing machine wasn’t on strike.

This is for my absent co-teacher…

Who talks about dinosaurs and space in equal amounts.

I actually finished coloring a cover page for once…

Penis-shaped volcanoes. Fun times.

And this…if you remember, I posted an appropriate version earlier this week. Although weird in the end (like how does that stick baby get out?)…and then there’s this one, from one of my not-so-sweet ones.

Seriously? Must have opted out of sex ed last year. I feel for his girlfriend, who I also have in class. Ignorance is real, y’all.

Anyway, gonna go do the things for as long as I have to, drink lots of tea, get as much schoolwork done as I can so I can do less over break (I already know I will have to come in to print things and set up), then get the fuck out of there for two weeks. Seriously. This year needs to knock it off. I’m done. Peace out though. Spring Break is a much-needed and appreciated respite.

Resolve.

Deep breath in. Deep breath out. Deep breath in…don’t cough. My household has been Cough/Snot Central for the last week, and apparently I will not escape, despite the doses of Vitamin C I’ve been downing. I need to stop by the store on the way to school to get something to counteract the shit I’m feeling at the moment. Not COVID. I just had that. And medicine only counteracts SOME of the shit. I’m trying to get the rest of this unit planned before break, so I don’t have to come in DURING break and copy shit. I think I’m gonna fail on that, unfortunately. Sigh. I also need to finish grading the two big things, but I’m not sure I can pull that off either. AND write sub plans for Friday afternoon, when the stupid literacy people scheduled the next thing. Bad timing. I rearranged this whole week on Monday night to make sure the academic grade would get done before Friday. Makes my life easier…and the sub’s, but I think I still need to move something this morning. Fuck. OK, write fast. Ugh. Sore throat. Dammit. I have stuff to do. I need to not be sick. Yes, body talking to me. I’m tired of it doing that. Could it just do the things without being a pain? I went to the gym last night, first time in ages, and did the things and felt really good until I tried going down the stairs to leave and both knees were like, fuck you, lady. We’ll give out if you do that again. Well, imma do it lots, so get over it. I didn’t even do the Bosu ball. Need to do that at home. More.

I started stitchdown on the little quilt Monday night…

I finished it last night and still had time before bedtime, so I started stitchdown on that poor quilt top that’s been hanging around for ages…

Didn’t finish that one, but that’s OK. Nothing’s really a rush right now. Maybe it should be, but I don’t have the mental energy for it.

Monday night, I went out to reset the owl cam (again…it’s been fussy as shit) and (1) heard a baby squawking in there (exciting) and (2) saw this…

I was a little freaked out…like where is the light coming from? Until the Man explained it was a rocket launching…ah SpaceX, you make the sky pretty. With chemicals.

A friend was asking whether we’d rather be buried under a tree or sent into space, and I picked the tree, because space is scary…fascinating, but terrifying, and I’d rather be in the earth, somewhere my kids might walk by and say hi. Weird, I know. Or not. Grounded. I love space movies and fiction, but I don’t want to live there. I think I’d be even more anxious floating out there.

Speaking of weird…or not…this kid’s explanation was strangely appropriate…yet weird.

I love that they are just lying in the bed and then she’s pregnant, and then she’s apparently giving birth? I laughed a lot. I like this kid. I mean, he picked that word as his challenge word and then did this. It’s cool.

This week. I’m done with it. I’m going to go buy cold medicine and try to get through things. Three days until Spring Break. Talking to a contractor on Thursday about the flood damage. Need to have a FEMA inspector come out, so I need to finish those forms. In my spare time. I’m really just sick of this school year. I want to go play with some clay tonight if I feel up to it. I want to finish these two small quilts so I can start a massive one for the rest of the school year. I want some of this health stuff to resolve. Ha! Knees are not gonna resolve. Maybe the boob thing will. Surgical consult in two weeks. OK. Go buy cold meds. Go to school. Deal with things. Resolve is an interesting word. I must have resolve to get through the week. Then things will resolve. Re-Solve. We are gonna solve it again? Yeah. Fuzzy brain.

Loudly.

Lots of people ask me how I do art stuff every day (and I don’t…I’d like to, but…), and the reality is that I have a fairly hefty art drive that MAKES me make almost every day, and if I don’t, I start to feel off, cranky, bereft, pissed off, sad, ugh, growly etc. So I try to balance all the other shit I’m supposed to do AND make art every night, and one of the number one drives toward retirement is the way my day job has sucked all of that time away from me and just takes more and more and more. Since COVID in 2020, I can’t get that balance. I can’t get enough art time. And I just get more and more frustrated with the time demands. Beyond frustrated. Art Brain is like a little kid who was promised time to do something they really love (read a book, swim in the pool, go to the beach) and then it’s a no. And not a good explanation for why (because I have to work). So of course it pitches a fit. You would too. Right now, Art Brain is counting the days until Spring Break (21 days, 16 actual days in school) so it can do more fun things. I haven’t told it about all the house things we have to do, because we can’t afford a weeklong camping trip like we usually do. So yeah. BUT…I am going to start a big drawing between now and then (need to finish some art stuff first) so I have one going for the end of the school year. To get me through. To PULL me through, because I think that’s what it’s gonna take.

So all I’ve been doing the last two nights is sewing binding on (and grading shit because the trimester ends today).

I do like sewing binding by hand. It’s relaxing. And those two colors are fucking awesome. And it’s for someone I really love. So it’s OK. But I’m also glad it’s done. Well. Almost.

Nova is such a sweetheart. She bumps her head up and starts kneading the air (and sometimes me)…

She’d be ON me if I’d let her. But it’s hard to stitch when she is. So she settles for there. And when Simba is here, HE’S there. And those are good things. The quilt is done except for one area on the back where some stitches did something that I can’t quite figure out (looks like a knot), so I need to tease it apart, tie it off, and maybe requilt that bit. And THEN it’s done, which is good, because the baby shower is tomorrow afternoon. But when it’s done, I can do my own stuff. Well, sort of. Because I’m doing an interpretation of somebody else’s stuff first and trying to make it my own and I’m not at the point yet where it feels like mine.

I did have a mental aha moment Wednesday night when I realized how to combine the ceramics and the quilts. So I’m going to try that. The girlchild is also taking ceramics and we had a cool conversation by text last night about that stuff. I do appreciate the change in medium and want to try to continue. We’ll see how that works, if I can make the two work together. It’s worth a try.

In other news, it’s Friday (OMG THANK THE GODDESS). Stressful week…both in trying to get kids to think and do things, but also in trying to get stuff set up for the next unit and there’s a field trip that may or may not happen and OMG there’s some other counseling thing that they haven’t told us about yet. I just want to come home and read my book and draw for a bit and stitch for a bit and trace for a bit. And get some yardwork done before it overwhelms me (too late; it already has). And clean house things because they’re gross. And not feel like I’m not allowed to have the time to make art because the day job is so all encompassing…do it for the KIDS. Hate that. I do it for the kids all the time. On the daily. Constantly. Wake up to thinking about them, worrying about them, trying to figure out how to engage them and help them learn. Fall asleep to it. It’s never-ending. I need some time off from that. Also I need some time off so I can plan the next unit. Which is thinking about them. Ah well. Art. It calls. Loudly.

Bandwidth

So. Midweek. Full school week. Not heavy on the meetings, unlike the next two weeks. I should enjoy that while it lasts. Not a lot of normal quilt art happening, for a variety of reasons. Grades are due in less than a week. I might actually have them done with a margin for once. If kids stop trying to turn everything in late. I had to rush to grade an academic assignment so I would be able to give them two days to fix it. Of course, you give them a deadline and they ignore it and try to resubmit for days afterwards. And then they tell you it’s HAARRDD and you show them that they didn’t even read what you gave them. It’s hard because of that. Not because, like they say, I didn’t teach it to them. They literally didn’t look at the information provided. That shit is always frustrating. I refuse to dumb down all the assignments for the post-COVID laze. It’s been a rough trimester. For all of us. I’m certainly looking at being 2/3s done with the year and feeling like I just can’t do another one. Another 12 weeks? Can’t. Uh uh. I’m so tired of the planning and the adult incursions on my time. The kids don’t really bug me this year. The adults? Ugh. Too much. Admin: Here do this. And this. And you have time for this, right? I took on one thing my team asked me to do (of the many) and they didn’t tell me it involved this Portrait of a Graduate thing the district is pushing, that I really don’t get, you don’t have buy-in from me, but all of a sudden I need to write an elevator pitch for it? I don’t have a pitch. Y’all haven’t inspired me INTO a pitch. Sigh. I have homework. I get paid for it, sure, but what I’d like is time to fix my house and make art and read my book. Ugh.

Yeah. So. Good times. Make shit up. Google it! Hey, I’m just like my students sometimes. I understand it. I don’t have the bandwidth at night, when I get home, to do homework. And I do so much of it as it is. Why did I agree to add more? Sigh.

OK, so in the art stuff, I’ve traced nothing in the last two days because I need to get grades done and that baby quilt done by Saturday. So the last two nights, after grading, I quilted.

Nothing fancy, although it’s for a baby girl, so I quilted a little woman power in there.

Both the woman power that’s gonna bring her into this world, care of my good friend…

And the power that’s been sheltering her for the last 8 months or so…

On the back…

I quilted her parents’ names into it too. Going for all the good juju. Anyway, I stayed up too late last night to finish the borders, so I could start binding it tonight. I should be able to get it done in time. Baby shower is Saturday.

It’s gonna feel good to have all these have-to things done so I can do my own thing, to be honest.

I went to my second ceramics handbuilding class last night…coiling. I love coiling. Although I did not use the extruder…I think I’ll try that in two weeks, when we get to do whatever we want.

I did ceramics in college quite a bit. But honestly, I don’t really think of what I do in ceramics as art? It’s more like what I do with embroidery. It’s a creative outlet and I enjoy it, but it’s more meditative relaxing process than creating something that evokes something for me.

I’m considering a membership at the studio. It’s reasonably priced and I can go in whenever. Sounds nice.

Then I think about my time and what little of it I have at the moment. I’m sacrificing artmaking and gym time for this. And it’s totally worth it and fun and I’m loving it…

But I’m not sure what to do with it long term. I might get a membership in the summer, if there are any available…

Or…I don’t know. I’d like to think I could carve out some time, but this school year has been so bad and I don’t think it’s getting better. Certainly not if I have to fit surgery in before the end of the school year. No call yet. Damn health carrier is getting a new scheduling system, so they’ve basically shut down scheduling completely until it switches over this Friday. Sigh.

Anyway. So there’s that. That pot is gonna slump some more. One of the issues of trying to build so fast in a short period of time. Normally I’d work for an hour and then let it harden a bit. Didn’t really have that option. Ah well. Not sure what I’m doing in there anyway, except playing. Which is fine. I’ll have a lot of pot shapes at the end probably. I’m not very good at the practicality of it.

Monday night, I stitched during book club. Kitten did not help.

Just stitching things down is about my head space at the moment.

OK, so today, my kids are making pedigrees about a genetic disorder using a genealogical history we reviewed yesterday. They got to choose their groups. I’m wondering if I should have done groups of two instead of four. I’m seeing some loser behavior going on. As usual. Sigh. Well hopefully they’ll do the things today and tomorrow and I won’t have to work too hard at getting them on task. Yesterday, all I did was talk really. I need a break from that. I’m trying to plan the next unit, but I need about three hours of blank headspace to do it. Not sure when I’m gonna get that. I really did spend most of yesterday explaining inbreeding and intermarriage. Fun times.

The pool pump died yesterday. Expensive replacement. How am I supposed to pay to fix the house when shit like that keeps happening? The fridge will go next. I’m surprised it hasn’t already. It’s been going for a good long time and appliances don’t do that any more.

Pilates after school, grading again, then making dinner. Hopefully getting that binding on that quilt. Dreaming of art stuff. I’ll get there…soon. My art drive is strong, always has been. 18 school days until Spring Break…not that we have anything planned. Sigh. Except stuff here. No money except to fix shit.

Owls Are Back…

So in totally awesome news, even though we trimmed the shit out of the trees, the owls are back! I finally got the camera up and working and there they were! I was so happy. I thought I’d heard them, but not the young one I’d heard before for the last 9 months…that one left after the tree trimming. We would hear it every night, going out to hunt. This must be one of the original parents. Much quieter. The male parent last year was loud as hell too. But so far, these are quiet.

It’s the weird little things that make my days.

This weekend was rough…I don’t feel like I got enough of any one thing done, unfortunately. Crunch time for school plus a lot of art things going on. I got a little bit done on the piece I’m doing with a partner…just some tracing done on Friday and Sunday night…

I think I had a whopping 26 minutes last night…

I was speed grading before that. I’m in the 200s…just about 150 pieces to go. I could finish it tonight, but I have a baby quilt that needs to be done by Saturday. Ha! Well. Hopefully.

I put borders on it Friday, then pinbasted it Saturday morning.

I did a little quilting on Saturday after buying an insane amount of thread, because I didn’t have the right kind.

I didn’t get any more quilting done all weekend unfortunately. It won’t take long…I just need to do it. Hopefully more tonight. But grades are also due and that’s stressful. So yeah. I’m trying to do all the things.

Saturday was the pop-up opening of Collective Retrospective, a show with a current piece and a piece that’s at least 10 years old. It started on Instagram. I only had the old piece, and it will be 30 years old in October.

This is The Cold Cement Basement of Our Love from October 1994. It’s a screenprint that I then drew all over with Sharpie…some things never change. Lots of words and DNA and a cup of tea. And sciencey things going on in the body. Before I ever taught science. I did work in science though.

I absolutely sucked at pictures of this show…I do know this is Judith Parenio’s piece…

And this is Berenice Badillo’s piece…

I got a picture of her speaking (there’s video of her rousing words on the Insta link above)…

Except this is before she actually talked. Cool things happened. But I was there for like 3 1/2 hours. Time. Sigh. There was a beautiful sky though…and friends came by to see me and my art.

The Man stopped by at the end to help me load my piece into the car and then we went to dinner…

He had a show the night before that I was supposed to go to, but he texted me while I was driving that they had stopped letting people in; the venue was full. So I turned around and went home and graded instead. He didn’t get home until almost 2 AM, so we’ve barely seen each other this weekend. Yesterday was two art Zoom meetings plus trying to grade.

Anyway. So I’m quilting this week, hopefully tracing, obviously grading and lesson planning. Listening to owls. Reading when I can. I’ve got my second ceramics class tomorrow…already have ideas. It’s coiling. I love coiling. Busy weekend coming up. Again. Lots of art going out, which is good. Wish I were making more of it, but it’s here. I’m getting there. After a staff meeting today, teaching pedigrees…actually, letting an assignment teach them. I did my part. It’s time for them to do theirs. Ha! Hopeful anyway. First full week of teaching since January…with holidays and COVID and doctors’ appointments. It will be weird.

Pillow Fort…

I’m realizing that on the days I don’t do anything art related, I feel shitty. I need to do the art stuff to feel OK. And right now, I have a bunch of things that I have to get done that are NOT art. I should draw this weekend. Maybe that will help. If I have the brainpower. Right now, not so much. Right now, I just want to pillow fort with a book.

It is Friday. Short week. I’m off today. Like off of work. Biopsy this morning. Not allowed to go back to work afterward. Will come home and work instead. Catch up on planning and grades. Because I’m behind again. My kids are apparently being jerks in class. I don’t have a sub; three teachers don’t have subs. I feel bad, but I didn’t want to wait three more weeks for an appointment. So I took the cancellation. I’m gonna leave in about 20 minutes, get a giant-ass needle inserted in my poor boob, wear a compression bandage for 24 hours, and hopefully get negative results in 3-5 business days. Which might not even be next week due to the holiday. It’s fine. Odds are with me.

I woke up too early, couldn’t sleep, did the work things I needed to for today. Worked on a doc with my team even though they were at school and I wasn’t. Technology is amazing. I thought I’d be able to get some grading done this morning, but the brain is not complying. Not surprising. It’s OK. I’ll get it done this weekend.

So instead of art, I’ve been trying to finish up this lap quilt for a friend. It’s taking much longer than I thought it would. Of course. I got the binding machine stitched on over the last two nights after finishing the quilting…

Then last night, I made it halfway around. I didn’t cut the binding; our other friend did, and it’s fucking tiny as hell! I only make quarter-inch binding on really small quilts, like 12×12″. This is a pain in the ass. Sigh.

Remind me not to volunteer for this stuff again. I think I was voluntold actually. But really. I’m making a baby quilt. I’ll finish my mom’s quilt because it was a gift (and it’s tiny). But that’s it. I’m done. I’m doing my own shit. I need the art time for my sanity. It’s not just the sewing or the making…it’s the sewing and making stuff that feeds my art brain.

That last one. Also Cleaning Things Without Being Asked. That’s a good one. I don’t see that one often enough.

No dress…I do need pockets in all my pajamas though. That would be cool. I notice men’s pajamas are more likely to have pockets. Like why? WTF?

Kitten is contemplating the movement of my feet under the duvet.

The duvet she vomited on at some point. So now it needs washing. I need that love language thing again. Apparently I’m the only one who knows how to strip the bed alone.

Anyway. I’m gonna go take my meds and pack up my book and get ready for the pokey shit. Happy birthday yesterday to my mom, who left me her dog (stinky) and cookies (tasty) for the weekend. May the rest of today go as well as it can. May the bruising be minor. May the compression wrap be less annoying than it sounds. May there be art in my future.