Wears All Black…

You know, as a teacher, I often put off repairs until I have a break from school, just because the time and effort (and sometimes need to wait around for a professional) isn’t something I can do during the school year. So I’m sitting here waiting on a dryer professional because we tried to fix it and the Amazon part failed almost immediately. It’s OK. I haven’t had a working dryer since June 25th or so. It’s hot and dry here, so we can put things out on the line. It sucks for towels, but works for everything else. At least this isn’t happening during the school year, right? Meanwhile, the house requires other fixes and improvements and I’m trying to get those taken care of. Broken and leaking hose faucets, need to replace some lattice pieces, plus putting in a pathway. At the moment, though, I’m dealing with a bee swarm issue. They gathered in the backyard composter while I was gone, but I managed to get one of the guys responsible for my stuff to pull the lid off and they left. They didn’t go far…to the composter in the front yard, and by the time I noticed (and was home, honestly), they were pretty well established. I waited until nighttime and pulled the lid off, hoping they’d leave…but it’s been over 36 hours and they are still there. Sigh.

That might be more money out of pocket for the summer. When I don’t get paid. Fun stuff. I do have a possible copyediting project coming up, but it will only pay for the dryer fix. Which is insane and annoying, but whatever. I’m also doing a professional development next week that will give me a chunk of money, but I don’t know when I’ll get paid for that. Probably the end of September. That’s the way it usually goes.

I needed to get this quilt done this week. So I got the quilting started on Sunday night and finished yesterday.

The outlining wasn’t too hard…

The background…well, I started with a super tiny filler background and then had to continue with that. It wasn’t too bad…

But it took longer than I thought it would…

It took a little over 4 hours for the stitchdown and a little over 8 hours to quilt it.

I finished around 6 PM last night, so I didn’t have time to buy binding. I don’t have enough of anything here to bind it with. So I need to go buy fabric today. As soon as I finish this and the retirement webinar I’m listening to. And then wash the fabric and hang it up to dry. It’ll dry fast today…supposed to be in the 90s.

But it also meant a minor moment of “holy shit what am I working on next!?”. Don’t panic. I already sort of know what I’m doing, but I need to copy and enlarge an existing drawing that needs major reworking, but it’s a start. Also gonna do that today. It’ll be a big one.

I’ve been doing some of this each evening…

These blocks are complicated, but I enjoy the stitching.

I also did some stitching on this…it’s been sitting around for YEARS…

All the things need to be stitched down. These are from Anna Maria Horner’s applique packages. I like the freedom of just randomly cutting bits out and putting them together. I have a ton of them and I am lame about getting them done. Limited time to make things…I have to make decisions about priorities. And the big art quilts get that priority.

It’s gecko season.

Nova loves this time of year.

Love this tree…

Don’t have room for another tree on this property.

Yeah this is me. I should rethink it. I’ve been living in shorts and just transitioned into no sleeves…I was holding out because of my laundry issues. Today, underwear is an issue. Sure, I could just buy more, but that would mean storing more. Trying not to do that. It’s fine. The boychild is here and can help me put the laundry dryer rack out. It’s heavy. For now, I’ve got another 30 minutes of this webinar (my brain is exploding, but I think I have my retirement date…even though I will need to continue to work after that), and then I get to commune with fabric and maybe my book…speaking of books, while I was quilting, I was listening to a book on Audible (I suck at this…have to rewind pretty continuously) AND reading a book on the iPad. I don’t usually do two books at a time because confusion happens between stories, but it seemed to work in this situation. This task is this book. Everything else is the other book. So yeah.

Read, bind, launder. Don’t think about work.

Amusingly, I walked away from this and forgot to post it…so most of the errands are done, but one that wouldn’t fit in my car…and I forgot the other one, so I’m gonna go do it now. It’s hot.

Reminder of the Line…

So I have about 27 minutes to write this. Not really true. I have 27 minutes (26) before I need to leave, and I like to finish things before leaving. We’ll see how that goes.

We got back Friday afternoon, the most trouble-free trip I’ve ever taken. Uber, then light rail, easy TSA, flight was not delayed, flight was easy, got off, picked up baggage right away, walked out front, and there were my parents, ready to pick us up. No problems on the way home, walked in the front door. Ahhh. It’s nice when it works out.

I managed to do some stitchdown on Friday night…

Kitten spoke to me clearly about how she felt about my being gone for so long…

Not pleased. Saturday I had a short meeting that I stitched through…

I feel like I will never finish this.

Then it was the Man’s birthday and he wanted a short hike/walk and dinner with a good burger, so we wandered through some trails I’d never been on at Balboa Park…

Had dinner at the Balboa (good burger, weird drunk guy)…

Selfies are not something we’re good at…

But this one wasn’t bad. Getting older and having birthdays is weird. This one was pretty quiet and chill. He says he was OK with that. I get it. Plus we’d been gone for a while and were just tired.

There was a confused bird…probably a fledgling or a mom trying to take us away from the nest…

I stitched more that night and got close to the end, but finished it up Sunday afternoon.

The last views of the back…

Before it gets shut up into the quilt…

A reminder of the line drawing…

Then I pieced a backing, found the batting, and had to clean a floor and wait for it to dry. So I cooked a complicated dinner that I never have time/energy to cook during the school year, but that I like to eat, then watched a show with that and finished one June Homegrown block…

And started another…

I finished about 1 1/2 blocks on the trip, compared to the 7 I brought with me (wishful thinking). I also brought 4 pairs of socks, 2 pairs of jeans, a pair of leggings, and a sweatshirt that I never wore. Plus a pair of shoes I only wore once. It is what it is. You never know.

After dinner, I laid it all out, sandwiched…

And pinbasted it.

It’s not a particularly big quilt, because I had a deadline.

And then I started quilting it last night.

My goal is to finish quilting today, bind it tomorrow, have it done Wednesday. We’ll see how that goes. Then turn those two Supreme Court drawings into something usable. Combined with what’s in my head.

Sleepy Kitten. But first, I have to pee a puppy and go to lunch with a friend, and maybe figure out a dog walk in the afternoon. We’ll see. Certainly the dog needs it. I probably do too.

Dysfunctional

My computer doesn’t seem to want to work right today. I’ve restarted it multiple times and it just gets slower and slower. It won’t do what I need it to do. My brain is having similar issues. I’ll be in the middle of a task, leave the room to get something related to that task, and I’ll start a whole new task without even thinking about it. Finish that and then remember the earlier task. It’s school-break brain. Or recovery brain. I’ve written a ton of things down so I don’t forget them…because forgetting is all I do at the moment. Plus there’s just a shitload of things that need doing right now. All the things I put off because I was teaching and there wasn’t time for much else.

Also I’m still so tired. Not sleeping well. Not sleeping long enough. I’ll get there. Just not there yet. Took a nap Friday. Considered it Saturday and Sunday but didn’t have the chance. And right now, I have a dog behind me and a dog next to me. Seems unlikely.

So Friday night, I started ironing Earth…

Saturday, I managed to finish ironing all the Wonder Under to fabric…

I’m pretty sure at some point (not that photo) I organized all the fabrics. But didn’t count them or take a photo (see note about brain above). Oh wait. I did take the photo at least.

Counting though. Hmmm. Could do that now. 114 fabrics. Very few greens. Because it’s in space? Space is not so green? At least in my head it’s not.

Then last night, I started cutting them out.

Didn’t get super far. Was hoping to be further along. Oh well.

Meanwhile the Man is trying to fix the dryer. Cheaper than getting some repair person to come in.

Can’t dry the laundry until he finishes. The part comes in today. Let’s hope it works.

Girlchild is driving across the US, moving from Boston to San Francisco. I’ve been tracking her and her friend Alessia, who is getting her to Denver.

Then her dad is meeting her and helping to drive the rest of the way.

Sorry, Cleveland.

I’m curious how being scared in a gas station bathroom is not a personal record. They’re currently in Nebraska…it’s going to be nice having her in the same state.

Yesterday, we headed over to the parentals for dinner and I actually remembered to take a photo.

There was this weird conglomeration of a 100 or more crows being really loud and flying around the neighbors’ house. Mom and I walked over and the crows were attacking a juvenile hawk. There were two of them. We stood around and eventually the crows left, so now we are crow enemies forever, right? They’ll remember us? The two hawks made it into a tree, but the one that was being attacked was making its I want my mommy cry.

Very strange to see so many crows involved. Nature can be so vengeful. Speaking of…

Seems legit.

OK well I’m on the couch with the ex’s puppy because he’s on a plane to meet the girlchild, I have 78 thousand things to do and can focus on nothing, and I have a webinar in less than two hours. This blogpost has taken forever to write on the iPad (finally gave up on the computer). Puppy has her nose on my arm. So sweet when she’s not trying to eat shit and/or escape. I’ll read for a bit, maybe nap, then be productive in some way. Maybe.

A Nap…

Dog kept me up a goodly chunk of the night. The boychild is gone at fire camp (work, really), and the dog has forgotten about this overnight stuff, so he lost his mind. Lots of fussing, growling, and barking at like 2 AM, which is when you really don’t need barking unless there really is a zombie apocalypse. Spoiler alert: there wasn’t. I’m sure being completely exhausted on an assembly day will be fine. Totally fine. We started sex ed yesterday and it wasn’t bad. I think I might survive until the end of the year. Maybe. I certainly didn’t think I would back in January, but somehow, I seem to have done it. 15 days left. That’s survivable.

I also finally finished quilting. It felt really long, but it was only 13 hours and 41 minutes. ONLY. Here’s Wednesday night…

I made it around the bottom and about halfway up the side. And then last night, I stayed up too late to finish…

At the end, I ran out of bobbin thread…

But that didn’t stop me. I just sacrificed sleep. As always. Tonight I can finally trim the thing and hopefully have the energy to get bindings on. Tomorrow, we’re hiking, which might be nuts, but whatever.

There’s this, after watching someone freak out over Target’s Pride merch.

You don’t like it? Don’t buy it. Simple. Same with books…

Frustrating world we live in. Some dumb person commented on my post about a particular banned book that any parent can buy anything. Wow. Tone deaf much? Some parents can’t afford books, or don’t care about books, or are illiterate themselves. Some people are elitist and don’t realize that many kids only see books at school, in school libraries, in school classrooms. So get the hell out of our classrooms and schools. If you don’t want your kid to read something, tell them not to read it. And when they do? Well, there we are. Guess your parenting didn’t work.

Ugh. So ending with some owl videos…we definitely have two babies and I think parents were working on number 3 the other night…although I think there was an earlier baby that died, so maybe this is number 4?

They’ve been very active lately.

Which is cool. Maybe they’ll deal with the rat that has been nibbling on the tangerines…

Enjoy the owls.

And Quilt National opens today. Wish I could be there but couldn’t swing the time or the money. My Desert Mother is there.

OK. School. Tired. Short classes. Assembly. Super Mario Assembly. Intriguing. Loud and fast is what I’m thinking. And then I’m thinking a nap. Will have to decide after that.

Extra

OK, only one state test left to go. I can do one more. Amusing…my kids are the ones taking them, not me, but the management is stressful too. Although at least my kids are actually testing today. Two-thirds of the school is done and they are keeping the kids for 3 hours…to do what exactly? Hopefully finish their science packets, because they sure weren’t done on Monday. This group has needed so much extra time…they are extra, actually. This year is extra. Let’s end on a good note! We did get the principal we wanted, so that’s a plus. The rest is wibbly wobbly as usual. Or maybe it’s not. We’ll see.

I do know I always plan to get so much work done during testing (I’m literally walking around, watching kids take a test; delivering snacks, water, and sharpened pencils; partially escorting them to the bathroom, and trying to keep them from rushing through and/or disturbing others. Not fun. But there should be plenty of time to do other stuff, and that other stuff is not getting done. And it needs to. I got a little done in the afternoon; kids leave at 12:30 and we have to stay until 3:30. Sounds like a lot, but we take a leisurely lunch, because we never get to do that, and then sometimes your brain is just done. Which it is a lot. So I worked last night after the gym, because my brain popped back up and could handle it. Of the 42 emails I sent over the weekend, 4 kids did work. Well. OK. That is about the same percentage as people that will respond to spam emails. Feeling good about that. Although now I need to send another email that says, hey, if you’re missing 5/7 assignments, doing 1 isn’t enough. You need to do 5. Or maybe even 4. More than 1.

Quilting is feeling a bit like that too, like sending spam emails into the world. Not really. But it’s endless blue vastness at the moment. Monday night, I quilted around the bird and down the right side of the body…lots of ins and outs in there.

Last night, I quilted for just as long, but it felt like nothing. I made it all the way down one side and a little bit along the bottom.

That’s it. I’ve got the rest of the bottom, the whole left side, around the butterfly, then finish across the top and down the right side about halfway. That’s a lot. I’m not finishing tonight. I’ve got another 2-3 hours. UGH. It’s fine. I just thought I was closer to done. The background stuff is kind of monotonous and I’ve run out of interesting podcasts. Don’t feel like listening to true crime or politics. I’m pissed off enough as it is. And the quilting ones are only interesting if I care about the person…like the Jane Sassaman one was interesting, but if it’s some quilt shop owner in wherever, I’m not sure I care. Unless they’re demolishing the patriarchy, and then I’d be interested.

Anyway. Maybe I’ll be more efficient today. Even though I’m stressed about them taking the science test today. They’d forgotten stuff we’d done in February, though, so…sigh. The kids who do well will do well. I can’t worry about the rest. I can just use it to decide what I change for next year. I get my last lunch out for this school year…and tomorrow I start teaching sex ed to the 7th graders. I was doing seating charts for that yesterday and just OMG OMG in my head. Both classes are 2/3s boys (well that explains a lot) and the kids who are friends all want to sit together. In one class, there is one boy that basically all the other boys want to sit with. Not happening. So yeah. Not a lot of hope for calm in those two. The 8th graders will be building bridges starting Friday. Or maybe I’ll just start them tomorrow. Might be easier. I wanted to give them a break of a day, but IDK if they can handle it. We’ll see.

Too many decisions to make. That’s what makes me so tired by the end of the day.

After school, pilates, then cooking dinner, then quilting! With any luck, I’ll make more significant progress today than yesterday felt like…finish tomorrow, trim Friday night? Maybe? Definitely Saturday, get the binding on this weekend, start drawing the next one, because there is limited time to finish that one. Three-day weekend…a blessing.

Here’s Anwen, the ex’s puppy…

She graduated her first obedience classes. She’s going to do more, because hey, apparently she’s still a puppy. She’ll be here next weekend, so prepare for destruction and outbursts of crazy puppiness. She may spend the whole weekend on a leash tied to me, but we’ll see. Someone should tell the cats to prepare…just hiss and bop at her a few times so she’ll leave you alone, y’all.

OK. School. Science test. Do the things. Get them done.

Survival-Level Info

Well we are back to everyone in the house trying to leave in the morning. I’m not sure Simba realizes he’ll be alone all day today. The boychild is back to work this week, so schedules will be weird. Mine won’t. Mine is reliable through the middle of June, and then I’ll be home for a bit and then gone for a bit. Hopefully there won’t be any fires while I’m in Seattle or it will get complicated. It’s always complicated. I remember driving Calli to my ex’s every day so she wouldn’t try to run away, and forgetting she was in the back of the car until I got to work. She’d sigh and I’d go, DAMMIT Calli, why didn’t you tell me you were back there. Silly old dog. I miss her.

This week is the last week of state testing…math and science. Stressful. I’ve never proctored the science test…and I’m going to feel bad if they don’t feel like we taught them what they need. That said, I also know the state tests put stuff on there that is not in the standards, which is just irritating as hell. Ah well, hopefully the next principal does not obsess over data. The test covers 6-8th grade science, and 6th grade for my kids was the COVID hybrid year…or the Zoom year, for me. So they don’t remember much, unfortunately. That said, they didn’t remember much from last year either. I gave them some review questions on states of matter and chemistry…sigh. Ah well. What can you do? I would rather have them be able to think and figure stuff out than to know the differences between the molecules of a solid and those of a liquid. Although it’s cool info, I’m not sure it’s survival-level info.

There was a bunch of art stuff I was supposed to do this weekend, but for one, I never saw the invite info, and for the other, I ran out of time. I’ll make it to the other show next weekend hopefully (have an extra day!). Not sure what happened with the other one.

Instead, we did our usual late-afternoon hike, showers, and then dinner. But Friday, the Man had a show. I quilted a little bit before I left, but was out most of the night. It was hard to get a decent picture of him: he was in the dark corner.

Their lead singer was easier to get…

This was after dissecting frogs at the end of the school day…

I only saw one obvious female in my two classes…

The table that got her was very excited. Maybe a little TOO excited (they cut all the organs up in a really destructive way to get at all the eggs). Glad to be done with that lab. It’s cool, but exhausting. Luckily, I now know that my 7th graders will respond to CLASS CLASS (if you don’t know what that means, consider yourself lucky).

So I dissected with those kids, did my afterschool duty at the corner light, got my classroom ready for this week, came home, and napped. Seriously zonked out for 30 minutes. Then ate dinner, changed out of frog/teacher clothes, and drove out to Ocean Beach to watch the Man play. I was in bed around midnight, exhausted. He came home around 1, and then I felt the larger of these two earthquakes…

Late night partying in the tectonic-plate world.

Saturday I managed to get organized enough to run errands, including buying binding for this quilt, so I can finish it this week, hopefully. We hiked…

After I sent 42 emails to parents/kids about failing grades and the trimester cut-off date in less than 2 weeks. Down from 60 emails in April. Getting there. It’s been a rough year for my 7th graders. Or me. Not sure which was worse.

Tiny pink flowers that are a pain to photograph. We’ve been trying to do at least 3 miles a weekend; next weekend, we’re going to do a longer hike. My physical therapy is probably coming to an end, so we’re testing the knee out. I suspect my knees will always hurt, but at least I can get up the stairs at the moment. The Man is supposed to be hiking the trans-Catalina trail in October with a pack; he’ll need to start training for that soon.

He’s still recovering from a pinched nerve in his shoulder/back area…and talking about lightening the pack. Probably a good plan.

I did manage a good chunk of quilting on Saturday night…

I got the pigoon done and the rest of the wing/arm, then up into the fourth arm (three is NOT enough)…

And got the bird done as well. Went to bed a little late, and then last night, I did the head with corresponding eyeball tree (not the first, won’t be the last)…

And then started quilting the background.

I’m over 9 hours into the quilting, and there’s at least a couple more to go. There’s a lot of background filler in the upper half of the quilt, plus the borders around the bottom. So ideally, I finish tomorrow night, then trim it Wednesday, get the binding on, maybe ready for the photographer this weekend? Then on to the next one, which will be a difficult finish. I have a complicated idea in my head, but don’t have the time for the whole shebang before the deadline. Might have to tone down the complication.

Luna thinks that’s crazy.

But it might be what has to happen.

I asked my students a question about why National Parks were important…this kid…

Which is better than the girl who just wrote that she didn’t really care. Yeah. We know. Neither does half the planet. We’re aware. It’s obvious.

Anyway, we try. Yeah, I’m trying to brainwash your kids into caring about the planet more than I’m grooming them to be homosexual or trans. I still think the best answer to the teachers brainwashing kids thing is the fact that we can’t get them to turn any work in. I mean, that’s where I’d start. It would make my life easier, for sure, if they would just turn shit in. Stupid politicians.

OK. Today. Review for three classes, finishing up all the things with the other two. We had to juggle the schedule slightly. It’s fine; this is easier. It’s OK to make things easier sometimes. Then staff meeting, run to Home Depot afterward to get a sprinkler and some stakes for the lemon tree. Some more dirt too. Can never have enough dirt apparently. Then book club tonight…just finished the book on Friday, I think. It was good: When Women Were Dragons. Then quilting after that. Hopefully a chill day. That would be nice.

Crazy Dichotomy

Yay Friday. Imagine that in a tiny little tired voice and you’d have it. Not enough sleep this week. A noisy bird (mockingbird, not owl). Lots of things waking me in the night. Could do without that. We’re getting close to the end with school, but not close enough, honestly. That said, there’s a bunch of stuff I need time to do, so it’s this crazy dichotomy about the strong desire for it to be over and the realization of the amount of shit you have to do to get there.

Yeah. Well. It’s kind of the same with this quilt at the moment. I quilted for over 2 1/2 hours yesterday…I did schoolwork until 6:45 and then had a Zoom meeting I quilted through, then ate dinner, and quilted some more. I earned that time. And I got a lot done.

The night before, I think I did over an hour, but only barely…and I only have video of it…

It seemed easier than trying to get a photo of all of the weird bits I’d worked on. Currently, the video is having issues; we’ll have to hope it works when I post.

Last night, I quilted all the things. Well. Not all of them, or I’d be done, and I’m not…even with almost 7 hours in.

I did the incubator (not in this picture), finished the legs, did the lower arm, all the torso, one wing, and the butterfly.

The butterfly was fussy. But it looks cool, so I’m OK with it. And I love this little character…

I’m past the halfway mark on the outlining. Then the background. Sometime this weekend? Maybe? I have a ton of grading to do, and the Man has a show tonight that I’m going to (although I have to say I’m not feeling it at the moment). His band will be taking a break so that members can heal up from injuries and surgery (they’re all getting old), so I think there’s only two shows left for a long while.

Also, I have to do a weeklong training this summer…and I will get paid for that, but I’d rather have the time, honestly. Hoping to get the approval for that soon so I can schedule it for right after school gets out, before I start relaxing. Also, the science teacher we wanted for the open position said no because our district wouldn’t OK 5 units of additional education to bump her to the next column on the pay scale. Apparently my district is unaware of the teacher shortage. So we’re hoping for number 2…and I’m hoping that whoever it is, I don’t have to babysit next year. Or plan all of it myself for the first 6 months. Or or or…yeah. There’s gonna be something. We’re waiting to hear on next year’s principal. We have a hope, but the district is notorious for doing dumbassery with admin.

Pros: there is another taco truck today. This week has been our school’s appreciation of teachers week, so we’ve had snacks, drinks, a coffee truck (that was nice), breakfast burritos, and now tacos. It helps. It doesn’t fix things, but it gives us a reason to get in the car and show up on time. Which for today, is in about 38 minutes. I hate early meetings. I’m so not awake.

The boychild found a hawk in the pool for the first time ever. SAD! I’m sad about it.

I want to put a fountain back in for the wildlife. But maybe it was attacked or hurt in some way. Never seen one drown before. Super sad.

Well hopefully I’ll have some quilting time tonight before I show up for the Man’s show. Hopefully frog dissections will go well and so will 8th-grade escape rooms. I graded one of the heinous assignments last night…took me about 2 hours and I probably should have been drinking heavily to counteract some of what I was reading, but I survived. There are still huge piles of work to do…but I’m getting there. I think I should buy quilt binding tomorrow, because this thing is big and I won’t be able to buy it during the week because the damn store doesn’t stay open late enough, so yeah…put that on the calendar for tomorrow. So this one is close to done, well before the deadline, giving me a chance to meet the second deadline that was one of my goals for the first half of the year. On track there. Nowhere else, but let’s focus on that track!

Contaminated Way of Thinking.

I have to admit to not seeing much of the news lately; there’s a few sources I see daily, mostly friends and a few things I follow. Yesterday, though, I saw that Texas and Louisiana are passing laws getting rid of no-fault divorce. So you have to prove there’s a ‘good’ reason for divorce again. Because we’re actually time-traveling, folks, going back in time. I just finished one book set in the 1950s and started another, and I’m serious, I think the 2020s are the new 1950s. At least for some people. Suicides and homicides went DOWN with no-fault divorce, y’all. Are those things Texas needs more of? They already have a significant gun problem. And even more fun, this is only for couples with children…it’s for the CHILDREN. From what I’ve seen at school, I can tell you that kids don’t need more drama and suffering at home than some of them already have. It doesn’t help them. But let’s keep limiting women. I wonder who is voting in these states. I read that the more extreme abortion law being passed in North Carolina is not supported by the majority, so they made it SOUND nice so people wouldn’t understand they were making it harder for abortion clinics to stay open. With the new law, Planned Parenthood has zero clinics that meet the criteria. No war against women? LGBTQIA? BIPOC? My ass. Full-on war. I’m not sure how a man is negatively affected if the woman he dallied with is forced to give birth. Seems like society really thinks the solution to everything is sending us back home into the kitchens with no choices. SIGH.

Here’s from the end of the first book I was reading, The Half Life of Valery K, which I really enjoyed.

A contaminated way of thinking. Yeah. That.

Science meeting yesterday…sorta planned the rest of the school year. That was easy. Ha! Still a lot of details to iron out, but I think I might survive. I still have a ton of grading to do (when do I not?), but there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe. Our district does a Gallup poll every year, sends us those same 12 questions:

Q1: I know what is expected of me at work.
Q2: I Have the materials and equipment I need to do my work right.
Q3: At work, I have the opportunity to do what I do best every day.
Q4: In the last seven days, I have received recognition or praise for doing good work.
Q5: My supervisor, or someone at work, seems to care about me as a person.
Q6: There is someone at work who encourages my development.
Q7: At work, my opinions seem to count.
Q8: The mission or purpose of my company makes me feel my job is important.
Q09. My associates or fellow employees are committed to doing quality work.
Q10. I have a best friend at work.
Q11. In the last six months, someone at work has talked to me about my progress.

Q12. This last year, I have had opportunities to learn and grow.

Wow. OK. Well I answer this every year and this year is the first time I’ve had some truly low scores. Q10 was the only 5 out of 5.

At least I can come home to making art. Although I should have graded some. I went to the gym instead and read my book. I needed to. I’m frustrated with my own ability to handle school stuff. I’m too overwhelmed and frustrated to be the teacher I want to be at the moment. I’m truly hoping next year is better. It just has to be.

Monday night, I did about an hour’s worth of quilting…

I started at the bottom and just did the bottom edge and then the left side, then started up at the top of the ground and headed back down. Slow moving. Lots of details.

Then last night, I didn’t grade. I started quilting early instead. Can’t do that every night, but I couldn’t deal with school last night.

Made it through most of the ground stuff, ready to start the incubator and/or the body tonight. I did almost two hours. That’s more like it. Tonight I have pilates, so I won’t be home early, but I’m hoping to do some grading AND quilting. Although I’m also tired. Note to brain…don’t dream about school. It makes me feel like I’m not even getting a break when I’m at school when I sleep. Not fair.

My co-teacher and I were talking about retirement and making sure you had socializing stuff after you quit…and then my phone, which is listening to me of course, posted this…

Pretty sure I won’t be able to afford those. But there are Meetup groups locally that are pretty cheap, so sure, I’d still be doing that. It is an interesting conundrum though…during the summer, I am much less social. My introvert self draws up into a ball for a couple of months. But I always know I’ll see my friend group at work in August, so it’s OK. Not sure what I’d add in if I were retired. We’re not there yet, but getting there. Certainly having shit years at school is helping me lean that direction. Rumors are flying about the next principal: “you won’t be happy”. Don’t say shit like that. Change is always hard, it’s true. But let’s hope the district is not truly full of idiots.

OK. Today I am doing a practice state science test with my 8th graders. I don’t have high hopes but I’m doing it anyway. I have an escape room version set up for Friday and Monday. It’ll be more fun. 7th grade has an assessment today, so they’ll be whiny bastards about it. So many were absent for parts of the background info; it’ll be interesting to see what we get (mostly nothing, if I know my 7th graders). Frustrating. Not sure how to motivate them. I have ideas, and maybe I’ll have more by the time I get to them. Hopefully. Ugh. If you only knew how much time I (and my coworkers) spend going over lessons in our heads, trying out all the ways we could teach it, changing things to try to get them to understand better, be more motivated, get into the instruction. I fall asleep to my brain doing it…and today I woke up to it doing the same thing. So much decisionmaking. I’m tired and I need a break from it. Quilting tonight. My daily necessary break.

Or Not…

Monday mornings. I didn’t do enough schoolwork this weekend because I just couldn’t. I had other priorities and I will pay for that today, I’m sure. I have curriculum done for 8th grade through Wednesday, probably. Not ready for next week at all, not even close. 7th grade is fine except for the fact that we just barely got approval for the sex-ed program last week, sent letters Friday, and start next Monday. It’s good but it’s less time than we usually have to prep for it, so that’s stressful. Plus frog dissections this week and collecting a bunch of stuff…so yeah. I’m not prepared. I hate that; usually this is the time of the year where we can step back a little from the crazy. We’ve taught sex ed enough that it is a known entity. There are some stressful bits, but mostly the kids are engaged, unlike in math or whatever, so that makes it easier. I’ve spent most of the year, though, with 7th grade curriculum being the known, the easier (the actual kids in the classes are not)…so that’s been the only saving grace to teaching two grade levels. Otherwise it’s been a stressful shit show. I’m not sure how the other members of my team are so chill about it. It’s been nuts. 23 days left.

My goal this weekend was to get the quilt pinbasted. Which meant finishing the stitchdown. Which meant blowing off most of my schoolwork.

Friday night, I didn’t get far…

Pigoon, legs, stopped at the arm, hadn’t finished the torso.

Saturday morning I did some before going to a baby shower…

Maybe 20 minutes. At that point, I was fairly sure I wasn’t going to finish…

Came back from the shower and hiked…I promised my physical therapist I’d hike every weekend until I saw him again to test out the knee. Lots of ravens on the hike…

Came back and went to dinner, date night, drawing with no plan…

Not sure why it ended up being a dog…but last week’s was even weirder…

Then I did stitchdown for about 2 1/2 hours. At some point, I was just thinking it needed to be done. That if I went to bed and did the rest the next day, I wouldn’t be pinbasted until Tuesday and that would suck.

This is the back, by the way, never to be seen again.

I scan the back, looking for mistakes, stuff I’ve missed, didn’t stitch down. I’m seeing one right now. It’s OK. I can catch them in the quilting.

I guessed 6-7 hours on the stitchdown and I was right…6 hours and 45 minutes.

Then Sunday happened. Chaos. I was ready to clean the floor, and then remembered I hadn’t checked for batting. So I did that. Went through the whole pile…nothing’s big enough. Dammit. Drove to Joanns, which was mostly empty (Mother’s Day?), came back, washed the batting, dried the batting, but in between, found another pile of batting I’d set aside after the last time I bought batting. Pretty sure it would’ve been big enough. Giant ass sigh. That’s where my brain is right now…in not-very-efficient panic mode. Also I cleaned the floor and taped the backing down that I had pieced, then remembered the batting wasn’t dry yet and we were running out of time to leave for the parentals, so I pulled it back up, didn’t finish before we left. See, that was the plan…finish pinbasting before we left so I could do school stuff when we got back. Or not. So I went to dinner at the parents, forgot to take any photos because my brain. Fuzz. Then came back and laid it all back out, this time with dry batting.

Then pinbasted while watching the first episode or two of Queen Charlotte.

Kneepads and all. I think I’m in love. With the show, the quilt, and the kneepads. And now I can quilt. Well, after I go to school and try to plan the rest of the week during a staff meeting. It’ll be fine.

This is very true of the classroom, except we skip the spraying it black part. Today we are doing embryos in 8th grade (embryology as part of the theory of evolution) and human impact on national parks in 7th grade. On Friday, I heard that The Way Out won Honorable Mention at Form, Not Function.

It’s still a very relevant piece. Unfortunately. Nice to get an award for it.

When you live with an artist, there are always things all over the house that remind you of that. I found this in the hallway. Not sure how it got there…on an animal butt? or my shirt? Oh yeah, and I’m the artist.

I do know what it’s from, at least. Seriously miles away from where I was working.

No yardwork this week either…

I don’t actually have a pile of dirty dishes OR laundry, but there are definitely things piling up that are driving me nuts but that I don’t have time to deal with. Ah well. I will get to it all eventually. Or not.

Quilting tonight though. I’m figuring the quilting will take 16-20 hours. There’s a shitload of details in this thing. Plus a healthy chunk of just plain background. It won’t be quick. So an hour a night this week? Maybe a little more. I don’t have a ton of meetings this week like last week. And my weekend is more free for once. I’m still not expecting to be done this week. Next week. Yeah. I have some deadlines I’m dealing with. I’ll be fine with this one; it’s the next one that’s questionable.

Anyway. Mother’s Day was stressful (school and my fault with the batting) but ended well. Saw my mom (she looks good), talked to the girlchild (she also looks good). Got some nice gifts from the kidlets…always nice when they get me stuff, because it’s not stuff I would have gotten myself. Appreciate that. Hoping to hear at school about a new science hire plus our principal for next year…hoping the district is not populated by total idiots. You know how that goes. And I get to quilt tonight. I love that. I can’t watch Queen Charlotte while I’m doing that, but I’ll figure that out. Worst case it’ll be listening to music or podcasts. Meditative. All good.

Trying to Do the Things…

Already exhausted enough to sleep deeply until the alarm. There are pros and cons to that. Two days of coming to school and trying to do the things and leaving school feeling like I got none of the things done. I crossed one whole thing off the to-do list yesterday. Spent two periods trying to teach over two boys who really need parents sitting next to them so they know how their kids behave. I’ve stopped contacting them, because nothing changes. Frustrating, but it’s the end of the year and I don’t have the energy for it. Or the time. Too many other things I need to do. If there were paper in the copier, that would help, but that’s been none of the three times I tried to copy stuff. I have stuff I need for today, but who knows what I will see when I get to school. Paper? Paper out? Red light flashing? Yeah that. I need assignments for next week, most of which need some tweaking or full-on editing. Not sure when that will happen, because the scramble for 7th-grade curriculum is also happening, thanks to our idiotic school board.

What will make me quit teaching? The god-damned adults who don’t have a clue what we do. Or why. And get in the fucking way.

Actually I can’t afford to quit. So there’s that. Yet. And when I do, we’ll call it retirement.

In good news, I finished the binding and sleeves in two nights…Monday night, I watched Maria Shell’s lecture on Zoom about community quilts…interesting stuff.

She gave me a few more artist residencies to follow…although I know I want to be out in nature, not in a city, and somewhere different from where I live. There are residencies here that are just glorified rental properties, and I could do that, but I want two weeks somewhere totally different, new views, space, I don’t know what, and I’m overwhelmed by the thought of what I would do, or the ones that want community involvement, I never know what to do with that. But it’s on my list for the future; has been for years. YEARS.

Nova was remarkably unhelpful. She likes my lap when I am trapped by a quilt.

She is a sweet boo.

So yeah, it’s done…

Goes to the photographer tomorrow, then gets entered into the show that forced itself upon me. Long story. Curators. What can you do? Ignore them? Don’t enter? Yeah, well, it might not get in because of the boobs. We’ll see. No uterus! Trying to keep it simple. Also I didn’t realize the quilt I made for another show would get accepted and then rejected (sigh), so it would have worked for this show as well. Oh well.

But now I can go back to the other one, which has a later due date…first I have to deal with this pile. Mostly it’s the fabrics I used for the last two quilts. I keep them out until I’m done in case I need to recut something, which happens at the ironing down stage usually.

But then Kitten made a disaster of fabric as well, so that’s in there. It’s just a mess. I did sort through it all; can’t put them away yet, but I think I can start sorting and maybe ironing together tonight. Although at some point, I need to grade a bunch of redoes and late work, plus plan/create a bunch of stuff, and IDK how I’m supposed to do that during the day when so much other crap gets thrown at me. I had a plan for after school yesterday and it didn’t happen. I did, however, go to the gym and read my book. So there’s that. Fantasy!

The tent the girlchild got the cats is still popular.

Nova looks particularly thoughtful.

Doves are back, trying to nest somewhere in this area. We’ll probably figure out where at some point.

The freesias are happily blooming still, although looking pretty beat up. Mostly because Simba stands on them.

We officially have one baby owl? I heard it for the first time on Monday night. Last night, I was in the living room, on the other side of the house, and heard the adults screeching like crazy. Usually we might hear one screech occasionally, but this was attack level. I went out there and both mom and dad were screeching nonstop, and I scared something away, large and fast (probably coyote) in the bushes. Baby was screeching away but mom and dad were quiet. I found one of them (video has already been labeled as ‘Blair Witch Project’, which it is, shitty and all, night time with flashlight, but one parent is in the pine tree, never found the other one, you can hear the baby in the box)…

And about 10 minutes later, the owl cam we have showed mom going back into the box, threat removed.

I’m invested in these babies dammit.

OK. School. Sex trafficking assembly for two periods (can I take my computer and work?), plus a prep period for 7th grade, I’m thinking, and Pilates after school, get the quilt cleaned up and ironed and ready for photography. Then sort 1500+ pieces and start ironing. Probably should grade some shit before that happens. Ugh. OK. I just want to read my book somewhere quiet.