Mostly…

Back into the screaming fire that is school sometimes. Trying to keep the head above water. It’s three weeks. I can do that. Maybe. I mean, I don’t really have a choice…it’s just how much hair pulling and mental screaming I might do while I get there. All good. Deep breaths. My office calendar still says November. No worries.

I did get the office/studio managed enough to iron in here. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a fucking disaster area in here, but I can iron. It’s genetic, by the way…the stacking of things in a studio. I saw my mom’s on Sunday and it was just as bad, although the boychild said hers was organized better than mine. Her studio is also 4 times the size of mine, so I don’t feel bad. I do need to do something about it over Winter Break though. I can’t breathe in here at the moment. Too much chaos.

I finished sorting fabric pieces on Monday night…

I had about 30 minutes of super tiny pieces to figure out, after matting and framing a couple pieces for my daughter. I miss Aaron Brothers for mat board, y’all. Had to wait forever in Michaels for a few beatup pieces. Annoying. Their fabric selection still sucks too. We asked about one that was on the website and said it was available here, and the staff was like, I dunno? It’s over there. People put fabric back wherever. Which is true, but hey, thanks for helping…we’ll go to an independent store (which unfortunately, they all have shitty hours if you work full time). And for those of us still using Alto mat cutters, the blades are hard to find. Too bad they went out of business…the cutters don’t die. I think I’ve solved that problem though. Maybe.

Then last night, while dinner was cooking, I sorted the studio (really I just made more bigger piles out of the way of the ironing board) and started ironing after dinner.

Still a week behind on this quilt, and at some point, I have to catch up. Don’t ask what that is. It’ll be clear later. Ironing like a beast each night from here on out. Maybe. Girlchild is still here. I love it. But I suspect more framing is in my future.

I made it to ceramics last night for a lovely 80 minutes of painting sgraffito. I think I finished the other one (mostly touchups) and it’s drying. This has an hour into the painting alone.

IDK how to make simple things y’all. But I love it.

Scribble missed me my first day back to work. It was her first experience with people leaving all day. That night, she curled up by my face and purred at me all night, occasionally reaching her paw out to pet my face. I didn’t sleep much. I’m not mad though.

She’s still really unsure of the dog, but is doing fine with everyone else. Last night, she settled on my lap while I was trying to grade, and in the way of most cat owners, I let her. Graded around her.

Here’s Simba letting you know how he feels about not being invited to the dinner table.

Yeah dude, whatever.

OK. My left eyelid has been twitching for a week now. Really driving me bonkers. I’m still teaching electricity, plus vocab and independent and dependent variables (sheesh) for a few days before going into magnets. I realized it’s a lot of direct instruction, so pretty exhausting and a lot of talking. I did spend all day yesterday rubbing a balloon on my hair and using it to make a soda can move. Like you do. As one student said, by the end of the day, “Ms. Nida, your hair is CRAAZY.” Well yeah. It does that. Things you do for learning. After school, I have a lovely pilates break, then book club, I think. And ironing. It’s a lot. I do love the artmaking. I don’t mind the teaching…I mind all the minutiae and the adult crap and the school board crap and the state school board crap (which is because of the local school board crap). Anyway, I need to go write a parent email and then go to a meeting with the principal (sigh) and then do the teaching thing. All good. It’s Wednesday and I mostly have a handle on things. Mostly.

Didn’t Finish…

I downloaded photos on Friday for a post, and that’s as far as I got. I think I briefly considered it on Saturday, but then got sucked into other things that needed doing and lost track of that thought. Last night, while I was trying to fall asleep, my ever-helpful (not) brain was trying to remember if I’d posted on Friday or not…not is the answer. So here we are, back to Mondays, back to school, three weeks of crazy to survive on many levels, not ready for any of it…except the next stage of the quilt. Oh wait. Not ready for that either. It’s chaos in here and I can’t iron a quilt together in chaos. So. Yeah. But I’m going to have to…and that might just be the best explanation of most of my adult life right there: can’t do it; gonna have to.

OK, quilt…the quilt that I’m a week behind on…easily. Here’s more cutting out, with Scribble.

And more cutting out…

with Scribble’s tail. And more cutting out with Scribble.

And the final push…

14 hours to do it all…

And I have a lap cat. Which is nice. She quickly learned to keep her paws out of the bins, until last night, when I started sorting…

She definitely wanted to be IN the bins. But wasn’t violent about it (unlike Bowie a year ago or so). I didn’t finish sorting last night…started late and then was tired and needed to go to bed to get up early this morning.

More Scribble pix…she is allowed in the sewing room if I’m in here.

Although she has already found Kitten’s cave, where she hid on and off for the last 6 years of her life…

I mean, it’s full of batting. Why wouldn’t you want to hide there?

The girlchild is here; Scribble is friendly.

Which everyone appreciates.

She just settles in and lets the other three cats try to figure her out.

Even Bowie is starting to come around; he wants to play with her, but he’s not sure how.

Three cats vertically in a row. So it’s been a good transition so far. Of course, today is the first work day, when there’s no one around for most of the day. That will be different. But she seems very adaptable…

Strangely enough.

The Man and I hiked again on Friday, because…

we had my family’s Thanksgiving on Friday…

Both kids cooked…nice food choices.

My dad fell asleep on the couch with Annie…

I think he was in her seat.

Saturday night dinner’s drawing…

Not finished, but I only have the time from when we come in the restaurant until they serve the food.

I finished the pomegranate seeds on May’s Forest for the Trees block.

At the moment, all I can handle is the applique. I’ll get to the embroidery, but who knows when? Going back to school has sucked up any loose time I had.

I still think we’re not allowed…

But I appreciate the sentiment.

OK, there’s so much school stuff I didn’t finish over break. Always. I have seating charts written for 2 of my 6 classes. Today is chill, though…starting a new unit, so just vocab and cover page and a short lecture on how to bring your grade up and it doesn’t involve Google or AI. Then staff meeting(s?) and hopefully ceramics. I need a porcelain patch kit from Home Depot too…purposely didn’t go get it this weekend, but I still need it. I also need to finish the other sgraffito frame at the studio before it dries out. I had plans to go Saturday and Sunday, and both fell through. It’s fine; other things happened and it was good, but I need to go today. And tomorrow. And Thursday. Or something. Three weeks…I can do three weeks. I think.

People and Carbs…

This week is just never relaxing. I’ve been to the grocery store four or five times, the pet store twice (I know, that one is my fault for adopting a new kitten), plus trying to catch up on cleaning (ha!) and yardwork (double ha!), and to finish grading? (triple ha!) …nothing is happening the way I’d planned. What’s new? Nothing. It’s always like this. I try to steal moments for reading or artmaking, but there’s other stuff that snuck in…like all the emails about stuff I needed to do that I totally ignored for the last three weeks? Yeah, those. And the four things that need renewing, but now I can’t find the renewal emails. Ugh. And then being invited to be on a cool website…awesome, but it required an hour of photos with the boychild (thank goodness he has a clue, because I don’t) and I’m sure he spent a ton of time resizing, and then I had to find art photos too and send all of them, plus fill out three pages of forms. I appreciate the opportunity, but I don’t have extra time lying around for all of that. So the bathrooms are still dirty and so are the floors. Oh well.

The kitten is adjusting. She has a name finally…Scribble. She’s like a little ADHD and very balls to the wall with the other cats. Right now, she’s sleeping, after racing around for 5 hours this morning. She’s definitely a curious little thing and won’t let her inability to jump high enough stop her.

We started out with my hanging out with her in a room with no other cats, but once we let her out…man, she didn’t want to stay in.

That said, she’s not banging on the door to be let out when I do put her in the room, which is when I leave the house, because I don’t entirely trust the other cats with her yet.

This was a very tentative moment between Scribble and Nova. Both wanted my lap.

I think we’ll all be OK in the long run…it just might take a while. Certainly last night, when Scribble was all puffed up, jumping sideways, I’m Big! I’m Big! toward Bowie and he’s just staring at her like she’s the scariest thing in the world…I think Bowie is having the hardest time adjusting. But he does appreciate an animal that will run around and parkour like he does, so he’ll come around.

One of the boychild’s photos.

OK, so artwise, I’m mostly still cutting things out.

Which is not particularly fast…

I really wanted to be ironing things together by now. Oh well. I’ve got another 2-3 hours of trimming, I think. I’m going to go do some more in a bit. I might do some yardwork first, before it gets dark.

I also spent a couple of hours at ceramics on Monday…and did most of this. It’s very relaxing.

I need to fix the cloud and a couple of other spots, but I think otherwise it’s ready to fire. I was hoping to get there today as well, but so far, that hasn’t happened? Maybe in an hour. We’ll see.

Found this in the yard.

Such a perfect mushroom.

This…I know some people are leaving for legit reasons, like being afraid of deportation…that’s a real thing and I don’t blame people for leaving. Detention or deportation to Venezuela or whatever other psychotic thing this government has come up with are legitimate fears. Go. Be well. Come back when the crazy is over (knock on wood that this ends at some point).

But if you’re a rich white American-born citizen and you’re leaving? You’re not staying and yelling with the rest of us? WTF. Seriously. I guess it’s easier than living here and being stressed about it, but those of us who don’t have tons of money and the ability to just up and go, we’re here and loud and not putting up with it, and y’all with money need to stay and be part of the fight…OR…take those fucking billionaires with you, the problematic ones, the racist misogynist ones. Take them. I mean, we can’t get rid of the ones who aren’t even here legally and have committed multiple financial crimes, but we’re trying to deport Native Americans. It’s just nuts. And if there’s no one with power and money left behind to yell louder than the rest of us, that’s on you, what happens next. You ran away? So stay away. Because you’re making it worse. You’re not helping.

Sigh. This is a frustrating world we live in. By the way, yes, we’re celebrating Thanksgiving, but there’s so many cultural things wrong with this holiday. So much that’s made up. So much violence toward the native cultures that was just shoved aside for the pilgrim story. So I’ll be thankful for a hike tomorrow, and thankful for spending time with family, and thankful for good food (although at the moment, the thought of people and lots of carbs is not really something I want…I’ll get there. But going to the store yet again today made me want to pillow fort for about a week), but remembering all along that we white people are appropriating disease-carrying xenophobes who don’t really belong here. Positive thoughts to all. It’s a rough week for a lot of people.

I Ran So Far Away*

I’m having a hard time with the artmaking process lately. Most of it is about finding the time, but also just wondering if there’s a purpose to it. Will it solve any of the shit that’s going on right now. And I know in the long run that art and music and drama (the good kind…not the kind I see at school) will be part of the solution, but certainly there needs to be some yelling and protesting and organizing that needs to happen. Just as an antidote to the stupid shit we keep seeing. It’s not enough to just shake our heads and go back in our houses, close the doors, and hunker down on the couch with the TV. You can go check this website out…yeah, it’s a little jokey at first, but there’s some real info on there. It’s a place to start…but acknowledging where many of us are right now. Marching in January is cool, yes…and don’t be one of those haters who thinks it’s childish for us to protest. It’s the American way. We can and you will just have to suck it up and let us. We don’t want anyone to be unclear on how we feel. It needs to be loud and in your face and right now. For as long as it takes. Until my future president disintegrates in a 3-AM Twitter rant about it? Nope. Even after that. But something needs to be happening now and every day without let up until 2020. Maybe after. Maybe forever.

So with all that in my head, I’m working on a piece right now that was started before all that. And it’s got some things that are sort of relevant to how I’m feeling, but it seems a little light and easy when facing the future. Which is fine. I’m not going to stop working on it. It needs to be done. But the next batch of pieces is going to be a bit different. I got some of the solo show worked out in my head last night…and there’s opportunity for me to work some of this out in fabric. And that’s a start. I’ll figure the rest of it out. The politics…the protest…how to make the best change…and that might just be in my classroom, but I think it has to be more.

Meanwhile. Art. I hung the drawing…it’s tall. More of those long skinny ones coming your way in the next few months. You can see some portion of my crazy fabric storage. I cleaned up in there for about an hour before I started last night. It needed to be done.

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The triangle of ironing board, iron, and table where all the pieces go…and more fabric storage. Really, this room is all about efficient storage.

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From the door…the ironing board gets in the way of computer work during this stage, but I deal. It’s not a huge room.

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I laid out the first 100, which were all in the dirt and water.

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And I ironed a bunch of dirt fabrics. Although I found one piece in the hallway this morning. Just the Wonder Under. I know puppy ran off with something last night, but I’m not sure how he got it (I must have dropped it), so I’ll have to figure out which fabric it is supposed to be and iron it down.

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There’s a lot of brown in the bottom of the quilt.

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Dirt.

I didn’t get very far last night, but I did get somewhere. And that’s progress…movement in the right direction. And I also know that it will make me feel better, calm down the brain that keeps waking me up in the middle of the night with worst-case scenarios…I’m still looking at the tax scenario NPR put up and going…fuck…really? My taxes go up significantly. You know why? Because I’m not married. And my kids aren’t in child care. Because they’re cheap right now? Holy shit. That makes my stomach tie in knots. I’m already stressed about paying for college.

OK. Stop thinking about shit that hasn’t happened yet. I mean, don’t stop, because you need to protest that shit in art and in writing and in groups and in politics, but don’t let it take over like that.

Yeah. So. Chiropractor today. Oh hallelujah. It hurts.

*Flock of Seagulls, I Ran