I think I write in the morning most days because it helps me wake up. Drink the tea, spill the beans, get the leftover words out of my head, make plans for the day, make sure art fits in there. Get my head around the day. Of course, it’s also still Spring Break for me…and I’m trying to catch up on almost 4 months of not enough sleep. Ugh. I honestly, right now, on Tuesday, don’t feel like I’m up to surviving the last two months of school. There’s only 38 days. And I’m gone for 2 of them. But it feels overwhelming still. Maybe that’s because we don’t have the first three weeks completely planned. Just maybe. But also because I go back and progress reports are due. I graded two easy assignments yesterday and input a bunch of stuff from the week before break. I have 7 assignments left. That’s an assignment a day (I’m ignoring the one that’s sitting in my classroom…hoping to have time to grade it when I get back).

(Just took a 10-minute break to throw a ball for Simba…he had the rips.)

This year has been stressful. But I’m close to finishing up some of the most stressful parts. So that’s good. I’m looking forward to a summer break, even if I probably have to find work for most of it. I shut down most of the copyediting stuff a month ago when I was getting lots of requests but literally had no free time in which to complete anything. I’ll be opening those up again soon…because I need work for the summer. I still don’t know if either of the kids is coming home; the flights will start being an issue pretty soon. I hope they have somewhere to sleep if I can’t get them home right away…or that they find jobs or internships where they are. I want them to come home, but understand if they don’t. The money that has to be paid out over the summer scares me a bit…even with my tax return, the summer is going to be tight. Need work. Yeah.

So yesterday I finished a bunch of stuff…I also did two days’ worth of stitching on this…the herringbone in the bottom left and then a running stitch from the left side and over the tree…I’m going to thread another color through that tonight.

So that’s 106 days of stitching…almost a third of a way through the year. Still feels like I will probably fill this up before the end of the year.

I started watching an episode of The Americans while I was stitching and wanted to finish the episode, so I worked on the Folk Tails block…with puppy on my leg (his favorite spot) and Midnight cleaning herself down the couch.

I forgot to take a picture of what I got done…but it wasn’t much.

I ironed in the afternoon, did the bathtub water. Then cooked dinner and did the stitching above before heading in for the flesh fabrics. I picked a run of 7 flesh colors and some other fillers. This quilt is about aging and menopause mostly…like a lot of the bathtub quilts seem to be…this is the third bathtub quilt I’ve actually made…I think there are 5 or 6 drawings.

A shot to show you how I use fabrics that change in color sometimes…so yes, I was looking at the drawing and deciding where on the stripes each piece needed to go.

Not exactly random I guess. I was tired when I finished ironing all the flesh colors, but it was still relatively early, so I kept going…did all the heart/blood stuff and then the fire stuff as well. So all that’s left right now is hair and lungs, mostly.

Honestly it wouldn’t have taken much time to do it last night, but I was exhausted. I’m not sure why. Just accumulated tiredness still. Like jet lag, but school lag.

Here’s the pile of fabrics I was using by the end of the night. I find these piles happen even when I try to be all organized and keep runs of color together.

While I’m picking, I can’t be bothered to be organized. I do that when I’m done, pile them all up in the boxes by color, although I was being lazy here…it was almost 1 AM, in my defense.

And then I moved the ironed pieces into a larger container so they’d have room to breathe. I plan to be cutting these out by tonight…

I’m going to have to grade something first. I’m more than a little panicked about trying to get this quilt done on time…but all I can do is keep doing until it’s done. Which makes me a bit hermitlike this week. Oh well. I’d probably do that anyway.

*R.E.M., Strange Currencies

Field trips…usually I like them. I suspect some of the annoyance this time was my incoming mood. But whatever. I liked the movie…this ice chest frightened me. I think it weighed 100 pounds, all ham sandwiches. And the seatbelt wouldn’t fit on it. And every time the bus driver took a turn, it would shift ominously toward me. Death by ice chest.

We arrived safely…my upwards sky view of the Fleet Science Center…

This is when my group of kids started to realize I was one of their stranger chaperones. Whatever.

I’m posting this for Julie…because it’s a bike. With fish cutouts. That were used (?) to print the fabric. Except I can’t figure out how they did such tight turns in the middle. And because I was trying to follow and keep track of 10 diverse individuals in the museum, I couldn’t even find the card to read it…

Same with the Sherlock exhibit. I went through twice, but so totally didn’t have the brainpower to figure out the mystery.

But I took selfies with the props.

Which makes me kinda like a middle schooler. No attention span, but damn, I got a selfie. I dare you to solve that mystery while you’re trying to keep track of 10 12-year-olds.

This was cool…it was at the start of the Sherlock mystery.

I wish I could say I’m gonna go back and figure it out, but I think the Fleet just makes me think of school field trips and I’ve got PTSD on that right now.

This is what happens when you send photos/video of Simba to the girlchild right now…

She misses him. She can have him at the moment, because when you have a lot of work to do, he’s an annoying butthead.

So I stared at this a lot last night. I did start drinking at some point. It’s OK…by then, I was watching videos the kids had made and was laughing.

Maybe that was the wine. Fuck. But you know if you’ve never been a teacher or lived with one, you just have no fucking idea what it’s like. I stress over my job and the kids and the time it takes constantly, and there’s no easy solution to any of it. And this year has been so hard with all the planning. I’m done. But I can’t be. Because I’m a responsible adult. No really, I am.

I’ll be staring at that screen for about another hour or two this morning, and then I’m done. Seriously. For Trimester 2. There is still another trimester. Sigh.

For those of you who were worried that I had lost Block 3 of the Folk Tails quilt…I was pretty sure it was sewn to another block…and it was. There it is…something about elephants needs to be sewn down.

For a while, I was trying to get all the wool bits sewn down first and then I thought I’d do the embroidery, but at some point, the embroidery needs to be done before you can sew stuff together, so I started doing that. So freakin’ organized. Anyway. I’ll figure it out.

I did two nights’ worth of stitching on the tree…it’s looking better with more variety of color and stitch types. I added a double fly stitch and more lazy daisies, but in a different color.

I’m glad I picked black for a background. It’s nice…although I can’t use any really dark colors. Pros and cons. Probably this is why I usually pick dark backgrounds for my quilts…I like the color pop.

Then I headed in to the studio to cut more fabrics, another hour and a half in. I did the heads and some of the hair. It doesn’t seem like much…

And there’s still not a lot of color in this piece, besides the flesh. There will be more. I’m hoping to finish the rest this afternoon. There’s not a lot left…

But I have to finish grades first, so they’re out of my hair. I still have kids trying to turn in late work. This morning. Nope. NOPE. Gradebook is closed. Respect my time. I have a hard enough time doing that myself.

And then art…because I’m tired of grinding my teeth and having my eyelid twitch. Gimme a break.

*Sarah McLachlan, Sweet Surrender