A Thought

Sure I’m never gonna have just one thought. My brain works way too fast in a branching psychosis that may be helpful in some situations, but sometimes ties neurons up in knots and creates flailingness. I’ve been working on art stuff most days for about 4-6 hours on and off, depending on the state of my brain. I should be able to work for 12 hours, right? I do know that pre-COVID, I would spend 6-8 hours on a break day or a Saturday, just working on one piece…but that’s a known process, it’s ironing all the pieces to fabric, it’s cutting things out…the idea already exists, the process is something I’ve done for years. This? Is not. This is fucking around with new ways of making. New ways of thinking and working. Somewhat exhausting. GOOD, but definitely the neurons needs breaks.

Here’s my thought. And it’s one I’ve had before but it is just being reinforced by this week away. I need to do this full time. Well…I first was going to type “more”… but full time is the reality. Nope, the reality is that I can’t afford full time right now. I’m watching a webinar right now where I know these artists are full time…and I don’t know HOW (retired? Partner supports? Independently wealthy?). I am none of those things. I am aiming for the first. The other two are out of reach. That said, I can do more. I think. I say that and then school punches me in the face. Imma punch back this year.

SO. I just posted all these pictures in order of when they were taken using the ancient iPad, and that’s not how I usually write. I usually do it more thematically, but I don’t want to waste two hours like I did Wednesday. So it’s gonna be that way.

The dye paintings have to sit MOIST and DAMP for 24 hours, so I make piles of them in cut-up and taped plastic bags with the dates/times written on them that I painted them, and then I wash them out as I go, more than 24 hours later. I knew that peach would get less orange, but I love that the blue stayed so blue. I love the top one…the bottom one I also love, but it will need some handwork, I think.

I’m trying things out here. On the one hand, I like the thin line I get with the tiny applicator, but it’s hard to draw with on fabric. The thicker ones are easier, but bleed more. But I also want to mess with just color and dye. So this is all trying stuff out.

Scrub jay. It’s loud and visits every evening. Last night, they brought a friend.

I forgot to take a picture of this piece before I covered it; the thin lines dry out really fast and it was in the afternoon, so it was warm and windy and I was afraid it would dry out too much and not set. And I haven’t washed it out yet…so I don’t know whether it set or not. That’s on my list for this afternoon.

Here’s the other line one I did that WAS washed out, although it needs more washout with Synthrapol…there’s a shadow as I let it dry. Obviously, these need color. Or maybe not. I think they do.

I have fabric paints and pencils and pens and a whole host of shit I brought and am not going to get to try. I overplanned. Wait, I always do that. It’s not a surprise. The Man is coming to visit today through tomorrow, and I’m going to send some stuff home with him, because I’m either done with it (threadpainting) or I’m not going to get to it (ceramics, probably paints & pens & pencils…still thinking about that). Once he leaves, I don’t have much time left anyway…just Saturday afternoon and evening. Sunday is mostly packing and cleaning.

This one…I love this one. I outlined with a thin brush, not the applicator. Still a pain, but less than the applicator. Then painted. The color, the orange, a lot will wash out. but I still love this.

Once you mix the dye paste, it’s hard to know how long it will last. One book says 5 days; the other says “keep track as you work so you know”. Um. Well. This was yesterday morning, and I mixed all the dye paste on Monday (took forever because of the wind). I think today is day 5. I still have a bunch of paste left, though, so I might just keep going and assume they’ll get more pastel with time? It really is just a matter of how much of it washes out. I have a shit ton more fabric. And a lot less wind at home. And a few days off before school starts. Actually, there are a million doc appointments in three days, and then I leave for San Francisco and the girlchild and more looking at art. I love this for me!

I read Christopher Moore’s new book, Anima Rising. It was great. Lots of art and cultural and literary references.

I love Sedna.

This is either the same alligator lizard that was on the door or another one (I think it’s a bigger one, honestly). NATURE!

Luckily, this one was outside. With the snake and the squirrel and the fox and the ravens and the owl. But NOT the spiders. I’ve killed 5 so far, 4 of them giant ugly grass spiders who survive multiple shoe whacks, and one bit me while I was asleep (not the grass spider; something smaller and bitier)…on my NECK. Freaked out by that. And yet, I continue to walk around barefoot. I did leave out the spider-killing shoe though…as a warning?

I was on two Zooms yesterday, one where an artist explained how she bought a church and remodeled it to be living space and studio (not happening here in San Diego…Susan Lenz, in case you’re interested) and one was my local SAQA meeting, with a presentation by another artist (Angela Jean). Both were interesting, but I couldn’t focus on anything else, so I embroidered the…is this June?…block of Sue Spargo’s Rooted. Finished this one…

And started July. Here’s the setup where I’m working on the female figure. I thought I might work on that, but apparently the brain can’t listen with intent AND make art with intent.

I need to edit some of these photos, but I might have to go back to the iPad for that, OR leave them be. Frustrating process. Not sure why I can’t do it on the app here.

Here are these two washed out. I love the top one. The brown washed out but still looks great. I can quilt this and it’s done. The bottom one…well, I loved it when I painted it, but I used the thicker bottle applicators and it bled like crazy…which doesn’t work for this. I’ll have to decide whether to fix it somehow? Or chalk it up to practice and make a cat blanket.

This one I think will wash out well…the browns have a lot more colors in them that will show up after the washout. I had a plan, but then accidentally dropped dye in some places I didn’t originally have dye…

A learning experience. I did this one last night. It was dry and the wind kept picking up randomly. There were storm clouds floating around, but nothing stuck…until the 5 seconds of rain at midnight or so.

I just take lots of sky pictures…weird for someone who isn’t really a landscape artist. The sky is way more complicated in person.

In the afternoon and evening, I worked on this. OMG this is so time consuming. I guess I didn’t come up here to find faster ways to make art. This is with 9 hours in.

I get one section pinned and then stitch it all down (by hand…that may be part of the issue, but hand stitching doesn’t make things as flat as machine, and that’s what I want). I had to add another section to the bottom to accommodate the feet. I still need to work on the lower legs and then the arms, and goodness, she might need a head. So it’s not getting done here. But I like it. It needs a lot more. Also, I so did not need to bring two giant boxes of fabric for this. But I ran out of time to edit fabrics.

So yesterday was business day 6 of not hearing back on the boob biopsy. I called in the morning and they said all the things, I found out that my doc IS on vacation this week (she’s allowed), and I asked for the sub doc to call back or something. The nice man (who is a man and maybe doesn’t understand boob anxiety) said “oh I’ll send a message and they’ll answer in another 3-5 business days”. OMFG. I explained that I’d already waited that long. I have an appointment with my doc next Tuesday anyway, but I really don’t want to wait another however many business days to hear. Did I hear yesterday? Nope. Nothing. Kept my phone on all day, nothing but fire warnings. SIGH FUCKING SIGH. So this morning, I wake up, slowly, and I check my email while trying to get functional enough to do another dye painting, and Sharp sent an email that new test results were released, check the app, and my heart races until I get the app opened…and there’s nothing. No new results. No letter. No message. Nothing. Fuckers.

So I painted this.

The wind picked up, but I think I got my point across. It’s not even the correct boob, but I don’t care. And then I sat through an art webinar that told me I needed to quit my job and make art full time. Ha! It didn’t actually SAY that; I just thought it afterwards.

OK. So I’m still boob anxious. Betting that doesn’t change today. I need a walk, I think. I need to wash out like three things? I think. Maybe two. I have a meet and greet tonight with the other people here. Need to bring an example of my work. Ha! I need to clean up and organize a bit so the Man has a place to sit. I need to work on the lower legs of that other piece. Oh shit, I drew last night too…apparently that picture didn’t come over. Let me see if I can do it on the phone (how many devices do I need to post one thing???).

Answer: three devices, because two of them suck. Well, they all suck in some way, or I wouldn’t need more than one. Original post started on ancient iPad, added most photos there. Saved draft. Typed most of words on laptop. I am old school. I am also old. It’s just easier to type with a real keyboard than hunt and peck. Edited photos and added the drawing photo on the phone…too small for typing.

Walk, then eat lunch, read book, then clean up. Wait. Check Find My app to see if the Man left already. Nope, he’s in the bedroom (scary, huh? He’s actually probably in the bathroom.). So I have at least 90 minutes before he gets here. Then wash out any dye painting that’s more than 24 hours out. Then do other things. Art things. Maybe talk to a human today. I haven’t in a few days. Except on Zoom and the phone with Sharp. OK. Do the things.

Take the Legs…

Hello from Temecula still…it’s not far from home, but it’s far enough. I wished yesterday for my ironing board, but survived without it. I forgot Q-tips, but someone had left some. I might leave the center today to buy some stuff…or I might not. I’m feeling like town would be a shock to my system. So do I really need the stuff on my list? Probably nots.

Things I’m realizing so far: I hate rethreading my machine. It’s not hard. I just don’t like to do it. On this thread painting, I rethreaded it at least 25 times. No 35. Too many (for me).

She needs a base to live on…not sure what that looks like, but I’ll figure it out. Maybe when I get back.

I made about 14 dye paste colors, then painted one Monday night…

I think a lot of the orange will wash out, but we’ll see. I will be washing that one out after writing this and watching the SAQA Textile Talk about art communities. I will be washing Tuesday morning’s piece too…

Dye is nuts because it has to stay damp for 24 hours and then you still don’t know what it’ll look like. I’m embracing that. (Update: it’s taken over two hours to try to get this post to publish even as a draft…the iPad is old and apparently couldn’t handle it any more…so I’ve washed both out…I’ll post pics of those once they’re dry. I’ve also spent the last two hours listening to sirens going by; there’s a fire about 10 miles east of us that ballooned up to 200 acres. It’s moving away from us, but I did walk up to see the smoke–I’m down behind a hill–and was distracted by the Watch Duty app and evacuation warnings. None here…)

I did a black outline piece Tuesday evening, but the wind kept popping up and I didn’t want it to dry, so I didn’t even take a picture of it.

Finding places to store these is getting problematic as they get bigger. Now I’m just stacking them under that table, but the oldest ones are on the bottom…which is only an issue if I’m being systematic about washing them out. I want to see what they’re gonna look like. Am I wasting time on these? No because it was something I wanted to try.

Trying to beat the wind, I got up a little early this morning. I went to bed early but then had a blood sugar issue and didn’t get back to sleep until late. I might need a nap later. This one has a lot of color, and I used the dye bottles to draw.

I can’t say it’s easy to do and the dye paste might be a little runny, but I wanted to try.

This one I started because the wind hadn’t picked up yet, so I decided to try a small one with brushes instead of the bottles. The first one I did was all brushes too.

The dye paste mix is apparently good through Friday, so hoping for two or three more a day.

I also pieced a background for a more free form piece I’ll be working on today…I think.

I have a limited amount of non white fabric (I have a shit ton of that)…wait, not true. I have a lot of crazy-quilt-type fabric with me, but wanted a cotton base to build on.

This is where I wanted an ironing board… but I figured it out. I have a small pad, but it was hard to get this done. It’s still not flat but there’s gonna be stuff on top, so it won’t matter. I’m very cavalier about flatness. A lot of it quilts out, thank goodness, because I am not a master piecer.

There was a sunset meet and greet, although only two of us showed up. We had a good conversation though.

It’s really hazy up here, apparently still from wildfire. Little ones keep popping up, but nothing I can see from here, thankfully. I have my phone on in case my biopsy results come in…pretty sure my doc is on vacation unfortunately. I may call if I haven’t heard by tomorrow. Today is 5 business days. Stressful. So the phone keeps chiming in with fire notifications instead. I did not realize the original arts community up here burned back in 2004…so this is the rebuild. So it’s a good idea to keep the phone on.

In the evening, I like to sit and cut things out or stitch. I finished all the Wonder Under on Monday night…

7 1/2 hours. It’ll have to wait until I get home to get sorted and ironed to fabric.

Then last night, I pulled out the embroidery threads and that black and white improv quilt I finished last week and started working on it.

I don’t really have a plan, which is fine. I’m going to be here for a while (here being handstitching on this piece).

Ok, some random things…I brought way too many clothes for someone who was gonna spend 50% of their time in one set of barely acceptable dyeing clothes.

On Monday night, a huge spider (ok my Australian readers will laugh at my idea of huge, but a lot of ours are poisonous too, so bear with me) ran across the floor into the pile of stuff I brought and I got up and halfheartedly looked for it, but figured it would just stay out there. Until I went to get ready for bed, and faithful readers, either there are TWO of them or that fucker followed me into the damn bathroom. Big and stalky. Nope uh uh. Got a shoe and waited for it to get out of a corner and whacked it 5 times before it succumbed. Flushed its body but there were three legs I couldn’t deal with…too creeped out, so I left them. Next morning, two legs were gone. This place has ants….not horrendous but enough that you don’t leave your dishes out, and those annoying bastards had taken the two legs for me. By this morning, they took the last one. I feel more friendly toward the ants now. Also there better not be another giant spider in the house. I killed a big red ant and a smaller spider, and then there was this guy…

I called it “Sir” about 10 times before persuading it to leap from the door.

I was going to go run errands, but none of them are desperate. Fire makes me anxious. Plus I haven’t gotten much done (besides dye painting two things, washing out two others, watching an art zoom, and trying to write this beast…way easier on a computer than the iPad, for sure. I need a new one. It’s ancient.) and I feel sort of reluctant to go anywhere. I’d have to put a bra on probably. And fight all those fire engines to get out (not really, but I’d rather stay out of their way).

OK. Rest of the day? (Note to nosy self: bring binoculars next time you’re on a hill.) Start freeform placing the figure on the pieced base. That’s all I’ve got. Brain is tired. I have lots I can work on…not worried about that. Play some music to drown out the sirens…that damn fire app will tell me if there’s an issue, but the fire is definitely moving east, away from us. Drink more tea.

Refill the Cup

I really hate my ironing board. I would like a new one, one that doesn’t have sharp metal feet that grab my toes. One that is stable and doesn’t threaten to fall over. That said, when I’ve tried to find ironing boards in the past, they’re even more tippy and unstable than this one…this one was my grandmother’s, I think. It’s ancient. I put a heavy board on top that I use for ironing quilts together, because I need a larger space. At the moment, I have to move it around a lot because I’ve been trying to clean up in here and it’s problematic…I can’t put fabric on one shelf where it used to be, because one of two cats keeps peeing on it. I’m pretty sure it’s the old lady, but it might be the teenaged boy…they regularly are vying over the space. Probably the old lady. I even had piled some towels up that I was using to cover the fabric bins there, and then she peed on those. So. Yeah. I’m having to store bins on the floor and this room is not very big anyway…with two desks, a table, three bookshelves, a computer, a sewing machine, and all my fabric (well, not really ALL my fabric…that’s funny), it’s just crowded. The ironing board is always open and I move it around for what/where I need to use it. And every time I search for a new one, I get sidetracked by options and reviews and can’t make a decision. Because there isn’t an ironing board store I can go to and look at them (OMG I am old), so I have to do it all online, and the thought of trying to return an ironing board makes me break out in hives. So there’s that. But we might be there.

So the stupid stuff, eh? Overwhelming. But I could focus on the big fat ugly bill or Alligator Alcatraz and why we think it’s OK to treat HUMANS that way or the campers missing in Texas after the floods (look! God took the white Christian girls! See, it’s not any better, is it? It doesn’t matter what the kids look like or where they come from…it’s not OK.). Sigh. Certainly didn’t do much celebrating yesterday. My country is broken. OK, it always was broken. Now it’s just more in your face about it. So I’m trying to live my tiny life in the middle of all that. Plus this week, the Man will hear about a job (yes please) and I have a biopsy (ugh) and the girlchild is coming to visit (yay) and I need to pack for my residency (yikes). It’s not the chillest week in the world. My response to that is to read more books. And try to clean and fix more things. With the help of the Ex, the sprinklers are now back up and running. I tried but there needed to be more things fixed than the one I did (it was a valve). The two sprinklers that really weren’t working were totally corroded inside (ah, hard water)…so replacing those (and blowing all the dirt through the system) helped immensely.

This was a big achievement. I’ve had this on my list for months. I replaced one thing and then nothing worked. Sigh. I tried to patch the gap on the deck too, but I couldn’t get the caulk to move. Might just be too old? Frustrating though. So I think I’m going to Home Depot later. Fun times. I ran some errands on Thursday (waited until rush hour like an idiot) and ran into a former student, a not-pleasant reminder of him. I had totally blocked him and his entitlement and his annoying parents (mom mostly) from my mind, and now I need to reblock him. It’s OK. He’s a kid. Even as an adult, I won’t need to deal with him…and maybe he’ll get a clue by then. He’s smart, just spoiled.

So artwise, I’ve been sort of efficient. I’ve made it to the ceramics studio more times than usual, which is good.

A bunch of stuff fell/broke (I think it gets bumped on the shelf) and I had to fix a lot, but I got the greens done. Went back yesterday and reattached and reglazed stuff that broke, but that damn hand broke off again.

I’m close though. Almost there. Honestly, it’s glazed except for the flagpole and reglazing all the broken stuff.

I just need to finish it and get it in the kiln. Like this week. Hopefully.

I pinbasted my Sue Spargo Folk Tails, which has been done since 2020? I think? Seriously.

Mostly I hadn’t done it yet because I wanted to finish the bird one first (the bigger one) before stashing a bunch of safety pins in something that would just sit in a pile for a while. It’s a challenge to quilt this…mostly because I need to go AROUND everything. Not hard, just a pain. So it’s next on my list to finish this summer. But before I do that, I’m trying to piece together the improv piece I did on Zoom with Irene Roderick…

It’s all these random shapes that need to fit together, and then I need to make it into a rectangle shape. So I worked on that yesterday. I have it all in three pieces at the moment, with a freaking Y seam (not the first). Almost there. This is so not my style, and I realized at Quilt National that all the Irene people’s quilts look similar, so I’m deciding how to make it mine. I’m trying to finish this so I can take the design board on my residency next week. Whatever gets it done, right? I could probably finish putting the top together today.

Then I cut out all the wool/cotton bits for the side borders of Homegrown (another Spargo…yeah, I enjoy making them), pinned them on, and am slowly stitching them all down. I won’t get this one done in 2025. Bet.

The embroidery will take forever and then I’ll put it in a pile for a year or two before deciding to quilt it. Let’s be real. It’s not about the finished product; it’s totally about the making.

In art quilt news, I’m still tracing Wonder Under…

The dirt was a lot of big pieces, and then I had a bunch of little pieces that fit in between all those big pieces.

I tried a bund of people and then started tracing gravestones. Right when those dumbasses passed a bill kicking a ton of real live people off Medicare. Including one I live with…yeah, it won’t take effect until after the November elections, and hopefully he’ll have a job by then, but there’s a lot of people who can’t work or can’t find work. So we aren’t taking care of people any more unless they’re so rich they don’t really need to worry about it.

Last night, I made it into the low 600s…of 1366.

Not even halfway. I was hoping to be done with tracing today, but I would have had to be way more focused than I have been for that to happen. So maybe that’s the other thing I’m doing today. I’m still only on the second yard of Wonder Under…lots of small pieces to drive me nuts later.

My little quilt made it to my SIL for her birthday.

I love the location.

I lost the dog in the ferns…he likes to pee in there.

Really, this is yet another part of the yard I need to control. Ha! This yard is beyond my ability. I’d need a gardener and even then…

I found these guys (screamed a little because a bunch were on my shirt) while trimming shit.

They become some kind of beetle. But for now, they are in the greenery trash can.

I saw this…and yes, I feel like I need that but also, no I’m not doing that.

I’m putting it here for when I’m really old and retired and maybe bored (will I ever be bored?). That dissociative state is looking nice.

Although honestly, making art helps with that. And it’s too hot for sweatpants, but the other night, I found myself tracing Wonder Under with shorts and a tank top on, but also fuzzy socks, because my feet were cold. Love old body. It’s so inconsistent.

This.

So frustrating. Incredibly.

Simba after three hours of fireworks on THURSDAY night (not even the 4th, y’all). He barked the entire time. And I was tracing stuff, so I wasn’t making him feel safe.

Last night, he was better…only a little. Mostly because the boychild was back. For how long? We never know. His sister is coming to visit, so if previous years are anything to go by, he’ll be sent to some fire this week.

This is amazing. This is Liberty Bleeds by Niki McQueen.

I wish I had enough wall space for her work (it’s available as posters to benefit the ACLU)…it reminds me of my own stuff, the cutting open part.

I think Nova is the big softie that both Luna and Bowie turn to for love and safety.

Luna is so paranoid. And it’s hot, so it’s funny when they curl up together, because I’m like, don’t fucking touch me, it’s hot. And yet there’s always a cat or a dog (or both) next to me.

This is always true.

So yeah. I think I already decided I’m piecing things and tracing things today. The Man has a show tonight downtown, so I’m probably riding the trolley down and then getting a ride back. Their regular lead singer has ‘quit’ (we hope not permanently), so they’re borrowing a singer from another band. Should be interesting. Luckily they are the opening band, so it’s not a midnight thing. I’m too old for that stuff? That’s a lie; I happily stay up past midnight doing art things. I just don’t like mornings. My goal for the week? Be chill. Stay chill. Make the things. Find the supplies for next week. So excited for next week. Meal planning now. And making sure I have materials. I don’t want to get up there and realize I need one chemical I left at home. Inevitably I will forget something though. Truth. 33 days until school. I can’t find a countdown timer that works with the iphone widget or whatever they’re calling it now. Frustrating. That and the ironing board problem are an issue for another day though. Right now, I need to eat, shower, and do some stuff that refills the cup. Or something. Finds the spoons.

What Are the Odds…

Uh huh. Twelve days. Unfortunately, two full 5-day weeks, which sounds hard, because it is at this stage. Trying to grade everything, do awards, get ready to teach sex ed, we don’t have the right number of packets of anything and it’s all talking, all the time. Still recovering from food poisoning, thought I was fine, then Saturday kicked my butt. It’s fine. I’m just getting through it all a bit at a time, but I spent probably 4 straight hours Sunday afternoon doing just that. No clay, no nothing. I’m tired of that shit.

I did make art, not a lot, just a bit. I ironed the smaller piece together, with the help of Annie on my feet…

Dogsitting weekend. Almost wrote dogshitting. Still valid.

Small pieces go together quite quickly.

Saturday night, after being mostly off for hours in the afternoon, I stitched it down.

Sunday, I sandwiched, pinbasted, and started quilting…

I also stitched this down…

My SIL claimed it back in November and I promptly lost it for a few months. Found it! Not sure how I’m finishing it yet.

Way too many animals here this weekend. Both dogs helping me read my book Friday afternoon after a very long day of 45 egg drops and a principal meeting.

Sigh. I don’t really want the new principal who’s coming. He doesn’t have great reviews. Ah well. Should be a shitshow of a year.

We had Annie because her daddy was coaching soccer up north.

She has mellowed out. She’s also scared of cats and we have four of them.

And sometimes they like each other.

Boychild was at a fire and gone an extra day for that…

So Simba barked nonstop and the Man and I sent memes about dogs barking back and forth.

Totally Simba.

And when Simba gets going, Annie sometimes joins in, mostly out of nervousness of being left out, I think.

Survived the egg drops, although many eggs did not.

It seems anathema to sacrifice so many scrambled egg breakfasts in the name of science, but we did. It was good.

Happy Pride Month!!!

Maybe I’ll get my flag up this month. Might need an assist on that.

This is my answer to my local school board about everything.

Also that last bit, louder for those chatting in the back.

Want some owl video?

There’s definitely a baby. I hope there’s more. Even if they’re loud.

Yeah. The next quilt isn’t fully in my head yet. Not surprising, considering all the juggling and balancing going on right now. Two Zooms (emergencies!) just popped up in my email last night. Sigh.

Yup. That’s what I do. In rainbow colors (not just Pride…all the time).

OK. Teaching the first day of sex ed, where we talk about nothing. Fun stuff. Then a two-hour staff meeting where we might meet the new principal who we’ve already vetted with all our friends who work at the school where he’s not allowed back. No joke. It’s been a good run, y’all. I’ve had decent principals for about 13 years or so. I guess its’ time. OR. Maybe he learned his lesson after the last one, will turn over a new leaf? What are the odds. THEN, I get to be on an emergency Zoom while driving to drop art off downtown, because, yes, I got into the library show. It opens June 21, Saturday, from 12-2. I think I have a dentist appointment right before that, so I will be running late. Ah well. At least I got in. Then maybe I can come home after all that. Not sure when clay is happening. Tomorrow? Ugh. Midnight? Maybe.

Art Things…

Hi ho hi ho, it’s off to work I go…except I can’t whistle. I really can’t. Never been able to. There are 19 days of school left. I had myself persuaded that because I was missing part of this week and next week is short because of the holiday, that I only had one 5-day week left. But no. My school board, which is barely sentient some days, decided to add some random 3-day weekends in the fall for unknown reasons that just mess up my students beyond belief, so we are not finishing on a Thursday, but the following Tuesday. Sigh. Don’t like it. So two 5-day weeks left. Yesterday was math state testing; today is science (no pressure, no stress!). I have 3 more classes of big science packets to grade, plus one more class of the last academic thing I should have graded two weeks ago (I’m rolling behind). I have one academic thing from this last Monday that I’ll be grading on the plane if the internet holds. Knock on wood. It would be great to take a long weekend in May and NOT grade shit, but that’s actually impossible. Grades are coming up and there’s no leeway on that end-of-year deadline. For some kids, it’s whether they promote or not. A little high stakes. Fun times. Last year, when we went to Maine for my niece’s graduation, I also graded on the plane. It’s a tradition!

Yeah well. So. Trying to keep my art self satisfied as I manage the end of the school year…so I finished ironing to fabric last night…

I’m surprised this took as long as it did; it’s super uncomplicated and relatively small for me.

OK, it only took a little over two hours…I was just doing a lot of other things at the same time; hence three nights to get it done.

I put a second coat of underglaze on this…

Definitely too much. It’s a good underlayer though. I guess. I had to fix a couple of things again. I seriously think people bump it as they’re pulling their stuff out. Next layer will be more neutral, I think, to match the base. but that’ll be next week. Then I need to do all the details, which will take a million years.

I find this amusing…Amazon misses me. I’ve significantly cut back on my Amazon shopping, either finding it locally or somewhere else that’s independently owned or just not buying it.

Same with Target, but their response was to discontinue my store card. Ah well! Also, not sure what that’s a picture of that I’m gonna like, but I’m not clicking on it. I did panic and buy some Wonder Under last week. It’s already gone up in price and it’s made in Spain. So. Yeah. I think I have a couple years’ worth now.

Sigh. Stupid world. Stupid country. Stupid government. Stupid white men. Watching The Handmaid’s Tale Season 6…dark and sometimes you wanna slap June, but there’s a lot of oh hey, we could do that.

One of the things I’m grading has these snowbaby drawings the kids made. These are both by boys…

But impressive. I told both of them they should take art in high school.

Because it’s such a lucrative job, right? Ha.

This is a little close to home. People give me tea; ironically, I mostly only drink one kind.

But I understand this. There’s always a cupboard.

The Man’s carnivorous plants are cute but deadly.

That bug is living dangerously.

OK. I started packing last night. And panicking. Oh wait, no, I’ve been doing that for days. It’s fine. I’ll get to the airport and be fine. I’ve mostly resigned myself to having some random center seat for both flights, but maybe I can wangle an aisle. I’m also resigned to being half asleep for days. Also was joking last night about what to wear to the slightly fancier artist reception and banquet…probably jeans and a t-shirt were out. The Man says, well black. With black. I said but fancy. He said Fancy Black. I said, oh hey, also cold. Fancy Warm Black. But sometimes it’s warmer inside and cold outside. Fancy Warm Black LAYERS. Yup. That’s me. Although I found one thing that’s not black. For once. PACKING. Plus that’s after school and prepping for a sub and grading all the things and pilates. So good luck to me. And then up at Fuck It in the morning and getting on a plane to art things. All good. Should do more of it, but it’s expensive and stressful. So there’s that. Balance! I suck at it.

Trying to Live a Full Life…

OK, so this week is just plain weird. State testing for two days, so 3+ hours with kids for two days, then they leave and I hopefully am super efficient and finish grading everything (ha! hahahahah.). Then I leave at some ungodly hour on Thursday for Quilt National, knock on wood, everything goes well. You never know. I certainly don’t. Looking forward to it though. Seeing the art. Talking to artists. Fun stuff, really. It’s one of the things I appreciate about the art quilt world. In fact, I was at a local SAQA meeting on Saturday, and it’s cool to see people present their work and talk about what they do. It makes me feel like I don’t do much, though…they’re all starting philanthropic groups and teaching classes and writing books…and I just make quilts. It’s OK…I don’t want to teach quilt classes and I don’t know what I’d write a quilt book about that would actually get published anywhere, so for now, I’ll just keep making the work. Which is, in fact, the part I like best.

So on Friday, I had to put two heads back on, and finally decided that the clay coathanger was not gonna work, so I made a new hand with a hole in it, and I’ll make a metal coathanger to go in there. That’s a better idea anyway. I got everything reattached and put the first super light layer of underglaze on…

It’s a bit too pinky. I’ll work on that. I’m gonna be underglazing for a while, no matter what. I’m hoping I don’t have to keep fixing things, but I’m sure I will. There’s a lot of things attached to this.

I finished tracing the last of the pieces for the new quilt, which is small (for me), on Friday night. And then I cut them all out.

It’s only got like 137 pieces, so it was fast. I was going to start ironing to fabrics on Saturday, but Kitten had some major pee/poop issues and it involved some fabric bins. She’s decided that’s where she lives now, and I had them covered by towels, but that’s not enough in this case. So I ended up washing two bins of fabric with the pee remover stuff and then sorting through about 8 bins of fabric, culling fat quarters for donation. I never made it through all of my fabric over a year ago when I last did this, so it was a good time to do that. I keep the stuff I use the most, and because I use super small pieces with most fabrics, those are the ones I cut in half, donating some to Social Justice Sewing Academy and some to the Navajo Quilt Project. It allows me to keep buying some fabric (I like a huge palette), but not be drowning in fabric. Here’s some of what I sorted through.

Grays and blues mostly. It’s also nice to reacquaint myself with fabrics I haven’t seen for a while. There’s some in those bins that will be hair in the new quilt, I think. The blues, not the grays, just in case you’re thinking I’m normal.

Last night, I finally started ironing the pieces of the new quilt down to fabric.

Not so exciting in the color ranges at the moment. This won’t take long. I might even finish tonight. We’ll see.

At the SAQA meeting on Saturday, I recognized this artist, Ellen Ann Eddy…

I’ve always loved her work; I took one of her classes early on in my art quilt development, but obviously, her method didn’t really stick. I do have a baby I made in her style way back in the day that I meant to make into something bigger. Maybe should pull that out.

That is how I feel some mornings, but I’m definitely not 29. My knees are not anywhere close to 29.

Anyway, art tonight, grading all day, kids complaining that they still have to work…all day, every day. Book club tonight! Yes, I finished the book, thank goodness. I actually really liked it, although I’m blanking on it right now. Not really awake. Lots of meetings today. Gotta write sub plans. All good. Trying to live a full life means I have bits of bougainvillea in my thumb right now, a quilt in progress, many shipping dates coming up, at least one thing I need to enter, cat laundry to do (yes, more, but not pee this time), and four thousand things to grade. Or throw away? It’s possible I will do that. Shhh. Don’t tell the kids. Must go to work now.

I Could Be Reading…

So state testing has started. Some years, it’s easy, the kids are into it, it’s chill. Some years, it’s not. This year? Not. Fun times. Today will be worse…it’s the performance task. Some kids will just skate through it. Some will pretend and then hit submit after writing one sentence. Some kids will just repeatedly lose their minds that they’re being asked to test at all, to sit still, to be quiet, not disrupt those around them, not bang on the table or pile up all their snacks and drinks (that did really happen yesterday. All of it.). So by the time 12:15 comes around, all my patience for the day (and possibly three or four days afterwards) is gone. Not great, because we’re testing again today. And I still have to teach for days until the end of the year. One kid was already like, why do I still have to do work? Because they know they’re promoting (probably) or not and they think we’re done. We have 29 days left, dude. Don’t stop now. Sigh. My stress levels are high…my face is breaking out…my blood sugar is a mess. And today is my 500th pilates class! Not sure it matters. It’s not like I’m stopping now.

OK, artwise, I’m in a weird place. I did finish the book piece. I managed to construct it properly…

The first two pages are shoved into that envelope of the last two pages. There’s certainly a few things I would have done differently, but it’s done now.

I need official photographs so I can enter the show, but I’ll do those when I’m home in daylight.

Eventually, I’ll have my photographer take photos, but I don’t have time for the thing it’s being entered into, which has a tight deadline. If it gets in, it’ll be in the downtown library for 5 months. I’ll let you know.

So what next? Well, I don’t have my head around the next big quilt, although I know there will be one over the summer. I was thinking of doing something smaller just to keep me mentally going through the last weeks of the school year. I haven’t figured out what that is yet, though, because I’m trying to finish my friend’s mom’s quilt. I was diligently working on it in January and February and then a random deadline popped up and I got sidetracked. I mean, I did purposely put this one away to finish the other thing. So I’m finishing this…I’m almost done anyway. Well, for some definition of ‘almost’.

Her mom made the quilt and sandwiched it, but unfortunately was unable to quilt it before she died. So it’s here and I’m quilting it. I’m in the outer border at the moment, with the rest done. I think. Honestly can’t remember if I finished the center panel. I think I did.

I did. So I finished outlining the symbols in the blue border and will overall quilt that starting tonight. Then I need to outline the reddish brown and black borders. Some things have happened to this quilt over a long time (fabric replaced, not by me, possibly already partially quilted? I just don’t know). And then I’ll put the binding on. And hand it over. And then, like I keep saying, not offer to help ever again (which is really not in my nature…sometimes I say no and then go back and say yes; please don’t take advantage of that). So when I’m done with this, I’ll start something new. Or maybe in between. We’ll see.

Clay is going. I made most of a priest and 3 handmaidens on Monday…

I was thinking when I went in next, I could start underglazing, but no. I still need to give him a cross and a head. Most definitely a cross. Head? Hmmm.

We watched the first episode of Season 6 of The Handmaid’s Tale last night…made us both cry. Good times. So Friday, I’ll go in and try to make a head. And a cross. And THEN I can start underglazing.

The bees left yesterday. I figured they would. I came home and washed the composter lid and side, then sprayed it with citronella, hoping it will cut the bee pheromones. They keep coming back. Not sure what to do about that. I have a bee-friendly yard…maybe a bit TOO friendly. And no, I haven’t fixed the damn sprinklers. I think I need two solenoids now. I don’t know. Maybe I need a new controller.

I had two cats on my lap in rapid succession last night. Luckily the chonk here didn’t stay long.

He’s a year old now and solid. Sometimes sweet, sometimes not. Like all calicos. I have a hole in my right hand from his morning whack. He’s harassing the old lady, who basically needs to be carried into the litter tray and food multiple times a day. She can get there, but he attacks.

OK. Testing. Afternoon is science planning. I’ve managed to grade quite a bit so far, so that’s good. I had to get a loaner computer Monday after school because my screen just went black when I was at lunch. Fun times. So Monday was stressful. I guess the good news is the eye with the vitreous humor detachment is fine (as fine as anything with a big blob rolling around in it is), but she thinks the other one will detach too. Except the right one has always been worse, more nearsighted, with an astigmatism. The left isn’t as bad. So let’s hope it doesn’t. She does think the blog will wander south with time and only show up when I first get up in the morning. Sounds good. Somehow I found the energy to go to ceramics after all the running to the IT department (not at school) and getting a new computer. After school, I have a telehealth appointment with my doctor where she will tell me I need to get my numbers down and I will ask her how to do that and she won’t have an answer. So there’s that. Then my 500th pilates class and book club. And someone else is cooking dinner. I’m already exhausted because I didn’t sleep well, so I’ll be quilting after that and going to bed. Oh! Also trying to finish my book before the library sucks it back from me. I went to the gym last night to help me finish it, but I’m at 86%, less than 100 pages. I’m up early to go to the meeting my principal just canceled. I could be reading. I should be reading.

My Oomph

Morning morning. Definitely Friday. No sleeping in this weekend. Ugh. I just never get to sleep enough. My fault most of the time. Last night, I stitched early, so I graded until 10:45 PM. Bad plan. Then the brain is ON. It’s fine…it gave up the ghost quickly, but man. Don’t do that again.

I got the fourth page ironed down on Wednesday night…

So there’s all four…

Now they need stitchdown and then quilting and then assembly. Not sure what that last step looks like. I stitched down one last night. I’m hoping to do the rest tonight. We’ll see. Then sandwich and start quilting tomorrow. I’ve got meetings I need to go to and I’d like to hike. But there’s yardwork too. Need to fix that solenoid! And weed whack. Fun times.

Plus there’s a shit ton of grading again. Although state testing starts next week and I can do some of it then. Meanwhile, it’s May now and all of my calendars are still on April. Fix that.

By the way, here’s the uncropped photo…

I needed a flat light-colored place that was low enough for me to get the camera semi-straight. I have at least 5 photos that I tried to do on the ironing board. Mistake. Bowie is happily watching.

Yesterday was principal’s day. We had shirts made with our principal dressed as Elvis (it’s a thing he does) and we all had Elvis glasses.

Some had sideburns. He was pleased. This time of year is a shitshow for everyone, so I’m glad he got some oomph to get him through the rest of the year.

My oomph is coming from exercise and books and art. There’s a few kids who just need to figure out their stuff, maybe realize they’re going to high school in August. There’s a lot of stress bumping around about promotion and those who might not promote, plus all the end-of-year stuff. I’m missing a half day on Monday for an eye-doctor appointment and I’m not even gonna tell the kids…they’re worse when they know. I totally changed what I’m teaching next week…couldn’t get enough understanding into them to get to the next point. Next year. We’ll fix it for next year. It took us 7 years to get 7th grade curriculum set up. This is only year 3 and I didn’t have help for 2 of those. It’ll be fine. Today, we’re doing a natural selection simulation that’s pretty good (until the bunnies take over the world). Next week, we’ll finish the unit and start state test review for science. That’s a big ugh for me and them, but it needs to be done. Meanwhile, I’m hoping all the adults involved figure out how to help and stop hindering. I have a meeting after school for a kid who will probably not promote because parents waited until MAY to figure out what was going on. Fun times. Then ceramics and fabric and I probably have to make dinner…I think. Although the Man is now eating fairly normal food…but his official dental appointment to release him from soft food is next Wednesday. From what I’ve seen, he’s already released himself? Who knows. And then, into the weekend…which seems to be getting shorter and shorter the closer we get to summer break.

Hopefully on Time…

OK. I lost a week in my head. I seriously thought I needed to be done with these banned book pieces by next week, but I have a whole ‘nother week. Whew. Although it’s still a rush, it’s not an insane, probably can’t do anything else rush. The Man’s show isn’t until next week. I have a weekend coming up with two back-to-back meetings (difficult, but OK), but the rest is pretty clear. I got two more pages ironed (basically I’m getting through one a night). Here’s page 2…

The embroidery did really well with the dark background…it hides the tails even better than I’d hoped. Here’s page 3…

There’s one more…it’s got some complicated hair in it, but I’m hoping to start a little earlier tonight.

Last night, I worked on the sculpture…I had to fix some things again…the damn fingers on the left hand keep breaking off…

But I’ve started to build a head…not sure if it’s too big though. Hard to do it this way, for sure. I also added a bomb and an atomic explosion…

I think that arm might be officially done. The other arm needs some stuff though.

I think I’ll be cutting into this for the mouth. It is a removable head, so I can work on it separately from the torso. The torso really needs to get fired, but I need to underglaze it first…and I obviously haven’t even started. And the base needs to do something. Besides take up most of my shelf at the moment. Hard to get my head around the 3D stuff, but that’s good for me. My brain needs the artistic workout.

Oh hey, I got into another show, Sebastopol Center for the Arts’ International Fiber Arts XII exhibition. War Zone will be traveling there in June. The show opens June 21 and runs through August 3. I’m debating going up for the opening. We’ll see. It is summer break by then.

It’s not a huge piece, for once.

This is too true.

OK, school today is still chaos. We had a lockdown that fucked up classes last week for a shooting in the neighborhood, then a sex trafficking assembly that fucked up classes Monday and a little bit yesterday, and I’m still trying to get everyone on the same page for instruction. Hopefully by Friday, at the rate I’m going. I’m about 15 minutes off at the moment. Interestingly, the classes that have had the most time are the furthest behind and those with the least are the furthest ahead. The best-laid plans…are not laid at all. Then the human sexual health curriculum parent meeting is after school…no one showed up last year, but you never know. I have fewer kids opting out this year than ever, so either parents aren’t paying attention or they’re more accepting? That seems unlikely. But whatever. After that, I’m coming home and cooking dinner and making art…and maybe replacing the solenoid so the sprinklers can run. I’m so tired when I get home that I don’t want to start in case I fuck something up. Sigh. It’s fine. I’ll do it. And then iron things so I can do stitchdown tomorrow. Getting there. Hopefully on time.

Will They Want Mine…

It’s kind of amazing how much I think and dream and talk about sleep when you consider how bad I am at it. 1 AM, 2 AM, and 4:44 AM. All good. 4:44 was something scrabbling on the roof though…so that was a dog response and that woke me up. Not sure what the others were but I don’t appreciate them; don’t appreciate starting the work week on low energy. Not that I slept much this weekend either. It was a busy weekend; I need another day to just relax. And finish my book club book. Ha! That’s gonna be a miracle if it happens. Miracles do happen though.

So Friday, I went and spent over an hour putting shit back together that slipped/broke/fell on Tuesday when I was putting it back on the shelf. I felt some things go but I needed to get out of there.

I added another burnt out building and part of the head. Not sure what’s gonna happen with that. Just know that the head can’t bump into stuff on the shoulders, so I’m trying to figure out what that looks like. The base came out of the kiln. There’s a crack in the bottom that will be hidden. I’m trying to decide what to do next. The gray is stronger than I thought it would be…so I might do another layer? And oxide it? That’s not a verb.

Need to think about it.

I managed to cut out all the page pieces…with a little doggie help.

It didn’t take long to finish the last two pages.

There were a lot of things I should have done over the weekend. I did pick up a quilt from the photographer. Haven’t dealt with that yet. Plus went to one of two meetings I was supposed to go to (too late for the second one), but it was also SD Book Crawl, so Saturday afternoon, I went to four bookstores and Sunday, I went to one. Here’s the baby haul…

I say baby haul because my coteacher did this as well, but made it to all 14 stores and has a real haul. I tried to pick books I hadn’t heard of, although the bottom one is the second in the 3-body problem series and I have read the first. It was fun, but it does take a chunk of time to drive around and park and wait in lines. I thought it was well-managed though. I’d do it again…that said, it’s always this 4th weekend in April, when I have two other meetings. Ah well.

Last night, I ironed the cover page together…

And then ironed it onto a background.

Seems relevant. They did say politics was OK, but IDK if they’ll want mine. We’ll see. I’ll turn it into a comic strip if it doesn’t get into the show. Like four panels in a row. In my spare time. Yeah. Right now, I’m kind of at a push to get this done. Wish me luck. Maybe I’ll blow off grading for a week and a half.

I’m hoping to get a page done a night, maybe more. This one took an hour. The others are more complicated. Although the next one has fewer pieces, so maybe it’s not more complicated. Hard to say. Then stitchdown Thursday, all of it, sandwich and quilt Friday…oh wait, the Man has a show Friday night. Fuck. Um. So Saturday/Sunday? Yikes. Deadline looms. I got this. Here’s the ex’s dog, complicating the couch…

Today though…today, I teach three classes…they’re finishing one thing and starting another. Hopefully. Then the other two classes are a mini-assembly about sex trafficking. Fun times. Then two staff meetings. More fun. Come home, finish reading book club book. Yup. Then iron. Maybe sleep. Big maybe on that one. The last 7 weeks of school are always a challenge. Nothing new this year.