Say Yay?

I’d say yay Friday but I have such a huge pile of things that has to be graded this weekend that I’m not really looking forward to it. I’m not even sure how I’m going to pull it off honestly. It seems impossible. But grades are due in a short time and I have to give these kids a chance to fix their mistakes, although I was significantly frustrated with the last batch of redoes. I don’t know how many times I can explain evidence vs inference. ALL the times, actually. With some people, it just straight up doesn’t seem to matter. So I’m a little frustrated, because I have kids who want Principal’s Honor Roll so they need all As but they don’t always do A work. Or be quiet, which is the citizenship part of it. Sigh.

This school year is a lot. I’m thinking they’re all a lot right now. That might be saying something right there.

Artwise, I’m struggling to keep the hour a night…still. Usually by October, I’ve got this, but October is almost over. So I’m tracing every night, but I think last night was the first time I managed an actual hour. And it’s because I stayed up late. And made myself stop working at 9:30 PM even though I wasn’t done with that class. My brain keeps screaming about balance.

So tracing…Wednesday night…

Which looks a lot like Thursday night (except I obviously made it out of the 600s and into the 700s).

The bathtubs are done; the figures are done. That snake is next and then all the bits around the bathtubs, minus the two rugs that are already done. I think there’s about 250 pieces left. So I could finish it this weekend…but also, there’s grading. Frustrating. Really really frustrating.

I’m there, y’all. Also here…

‘Tis witchy season.

From Interpretations…Betty Busby’s Subterranean…

So much handwork.

How does she get it all done? I love this type of stitching and want to do more of it.

Also Claire Passmore’s Anchored is fascinating…

The construction…the thought process behind it…

So cool.

We had to trim the eucalyptus trees. It makes me sad. The birds! The shade…

Poor things. The neighbor’s roof now visible. Bleck.

Owl pellets so far from the entryway.

I’m going to put them in a ziplock baggie for my neighbor’s kid when he comes trick-or-treating (he wants them…I’m not being a mean neighbor).

And here’s where I’m at.

My inner raccoon, more like it. But possums are also cool.

OK. I really am just surviving day by day and looking for the moments that sustain me. Yesterday was a bit much at school. I could do without it. The teaching was fine. The other stuff. Ugh. Make it stahhhp. So today is supposed to be an independent assignment so I can grade shit. We’ll see how that goes. Based on previous experiences? Yeah. Not so much. We keep trying though. Then after school, I finally got my wash for the ceramics pieces. I remembered gloves and brushes…there were no gloves last time. I’m going to do the washes and consider glazing. Then home for dinner and grading and tracing. I can stay up a little late tonight, but had to shuffle pilates, dentist, and groceries to tomorrow because Sunday is a meeting up in the OC. All day for that. Plus trying to grade. I’m not driving this time, so that should help. But one assignment has to be done on computer AND paper. So is my phone a hotspot for that? Or do I just take all the paper stuff. SIGH fucking SIGH. I did get an email from a coteacher last night who saw my banned book piece at the library. That was cool. I don’t know her very well, so it was a nice connection.

Anyway, send good thoughts into the air for your teacher friends. It’s a week from Halloween and the staff drama is just as good as the kid drama. Plus I can’t find last year’s costume and I don’t have the time or money for a new one…so there’s that.

Another Dimension

It was a busy weekend, even though I canceled/missed three things. The next two weekends seem to be just as bad…lots of meetings, driving, going to things, getting things done. I feel proud of the 20 minutes of yardwork I managed yesterday. I can’t keep up, for real.

So let’s do the tracing stuff first. Still doing it. Thought putting that yellow post-it on the drawing marking where I’d last been, writing the next number to trace on there, that’s smarter than I have been in the past.

Mostly I would just document the number and approximate location of the next piece in my phone and then spend 2-5 minutes the next day trying to find that on the drawing, which might be a reflection on my late-night ability to describe positions of things.

You would think like “left bathtub” would be enough, but is that left when it’s right sides up or upside down, how I trace it? I just never know. So the post-it seemed awesome…until I lost it last night as I flipped the drawing.

Super problematic since I hadn’t documented the last number I traced in my phone, so I had to stare at it for 5 minutes, trying to figure that out. I still couldn’t find the post-it. It flipped somewhere into another dimension. Fact is, I managed to get to piece 500 last night, so I’m almost halfway through. I’ve been finding it hard to even get an hour a night, which might still be a problem this week. I have a ton of grading to do…still…always…and this week does not bode well for big chunks of grading time unfortunately. So much of what I need to grade is deep-thought grading. I actually have to be mentally present to get it done. And it’s time-consuming. Of course. Anyway. Day job.

I had a moment Friday night about the No Kings protest…and made a last-minute decision to march…canceled myself out of two other things and made a plan to make it to the last thing that involved parking two miles away from the march, walking in, doing the march, and walking out. So it was over 6 miles in the long run.

Pro: I felt good about the march; it’s a plus to see so many like-minded people with a goal, when the news is so hell bent on the shit show (literally, if you pay attention to our president wannabe king). Also, I got plenty of exercise. It was all uphill on the way back though. I did go by myself, but you’re never really by yourself in a crowd of 80,000 people.

Yeah, I love my country and I don’t want it ruined by racists and people who say they’re Christian but don’t behave very Christian. And they are ruining it right now. In so many ways.

The Man and I went to a new place for dinner. It was fancy. You know how you know? I took a picture of my plate…

Yeah, if I did that every week, you’d see a lot of standard burger plates. But this was pretty.

Speaking of pretty and cool and fascinating, I went to the Visions Interpretations artist talks after the march. I was hoping to see a friend, but thanks to the military and Vance and probably the Republican party, they closed the freeway so they could shoot things over it, and many people had to leave early to miss that. Thanks to the government. They dropped shrapnel on a CHP vehicle. I find that amusing only because no one was inside and no one was injured. Maybe don’t do that again dumbasses. I’m sure that expenditure was warranted. Like the ballroom. And the parade.

I did meet an artist, Eden Quispe, whom I’d only known online. Our work has been in shows together but I’d never seen it (or her) in person. So that was cool. Here’s her piece, Grandma Pearl, made from linens from her grandmother.

She has a truly fascinating process.

I want to be more freeform in my work, but I never really get there. Maybe when I retire.

I took about 3000 pictures of Diane Nunez’s piece Multifaceted…

I took a lot of pictures because it was fascinating.

Also because I couldn’t take pictures of some of the stuff I wanted to because people were standing in front of them.

That is one of the issues with artist talks…too many people.

Although I do enjoy hearing the artists talk about their work.

Unfortunately, I’m running out of time this morning; I’ll have to post the other photos I took later this week. I’ll leave you with this sweet baby…

Ah Nova.

And this almost daily donation of an owl pellet on my front steps…

And this life truth.

Although the new system does not work the same…I actually have to think ahead about what I might want to read next, and that is truly annoying. I cannot make more decisions than I already am.

OK. School. Reviewing net forces and then sending them off to do the things without my help. Ha! Like that’s gonna work. And then dinner out with a book club group that I rarely see in person anymore. Then grading (well, grading before and after) and tracing. Then hopefully more sleep than last night (ha! more funnies) and do it again, slightly differently.

Minor Panic…

Somebody barked all night. It wasn’t me. I realize the coyotes were trying to break down the door, so it was justifiable barking, but still. Hard way to start a school week.

I remembered this morning all the things I was supposed to do this weekend and didn’t. Whoops. There will probably be more. I had a to-do list…it just didn’t have all the things on it. Typical. I did do a lot of art things, which isn’t bad…it just comes back during the week to bite me in the ass. There are things that are much easier to do on the weekend, but now I will have to try and shove them all in after school instead. Sometimes Art Brain wins.

I ironed Friday night…after a 2-hour curriculum meeting and the Visions opening of Interpretations. Here’s my obligatory selfie with my piece…

Usually I have photographers with me, but everyone ditched me this weekend.

I ironed the rest of Brown Jackson and then Kagan.

After the artist talks on Saturday, which were really good…I love hearing artists talk about their work, even if I totally wasn’t prepared for it…I came home and ironed for like 3+ hours. I should have done some other stuff too, but I didn’t. I wanted the justices done.

So that’s what I did. Toldja. Art Brain won. Then there was an artists’ dinner and I hung out with my friend Dinah Sargeant, who I hadn’t seen in ages (stupid COVID) and juror Dolores Miller, and had some pretty amazing conversations about art and life.

After dinner, you know what? I ironed some more. Pre-COVID, I used to just iron all day on Saturday when I was making a quilt. It was fucking delightful. All in all on Saturday, I put in 4 1/2 hours on this baby.

Got myself into the 1700s.

I only had an hour last night…had to work yesterday. Plus went to dinner with the parentals. That was nice. Hadn’t seen them for a while.

Finished the goddess and started the last bits on top. I’m about halfway through the 1800s…so about 200 pieces left. My goal is to be ironed down this week and stitching down by the incredibly busy (technically four meetings, no way can I do all of them) weekend. I have almost 25 hours into the ironing so far…it’ll be close to 30 by the end. I’m still debating the background fabric. I might need to fuss with it a bit to get it to do what I want it to do. We’ll see.

The Man is still hiking Catalina…today is his last day of hiking…I think.

He seems to be enjoying it.

This cat is a bed hog.

This cat puked in probably 17 places this weekend.

Fun times.

And here is my retirement goal.

OK. Today is what it is. The end of the project where they work quietly and I can get stuff done. The beginning of three major things that need grading. I’m so tired. In general due to dog barking last night, but also of school. I guess October burnout is a real thing. I always felt like that’s when it felt like things eased up a bit, but not so much this year. I’ve got a minor panic riding in my belly. It’ll be fine. I’ll figure it out. Just not probably today. More ironing tonight anyway.

Speak Up…

Glad it’s Wednesday, positive thoughts, exercise, art, and my book at the end of it all. Also I got into the Interpretations show at Visions with Same As It Ever Was, so that’s cool. See you at the opening in October.

Hey not only is my school board trying to manipulate our human sexual education program, they compared conversion therapy to a conversation about gender, and it appears they’re in the book banning business as well. Fun stuff. This is the shit that makes teachers quit (or go to another district, if you don’t have a ton of years invested in this one and can’t leave). This quilt is about a lot of things, but started with us white women getting upset about Roe v Wade’s demise, but realizing that for a lot of BIPOC and LGTBQIA people, they never had the same rights anyway, and their rights are eroding at a hundred times the speed of us white babes. So it’s angry but also very focused on what the US is doing, the Supreme Courts, the politicians (that’s Brett Cavanaugh there y’all, if you can’t tell from the beer bottle). Come to the opening and you can READ the big dumb heads.

For my next political piece, maybe I’ll add my school board and book banning for fun.

I am working on the other piece, although last night was not the most efficient. I started late because, well, my day job. I had a ton of work to do for school, still do, and I listened to the school board meeting last night to figure out what’s happening with sex ed because I’m supposed to start teaching it in like 3 weeks and no letters have gone out etc. I think we’re not teaching it, which means I don’t have curriculum for 5 weeks in 7th grade and a week in 8th grade. Well, let’s not kid ourselves…I’ve never really had a usable curriculum for 8th. That’s been the fun part about this year. FUN.

I did do a chunk of weird flowers and bugs on Sunday night, though…

The big background areas have a lot of tiny complicated things on top of them.

But I got those mostly done Sunday. Then last night, I ironed a foot down and realized I’d never ironed the other foot to fabric. I’d obviously forgotten to number it, because every piece had an ‘a’ on it (when I miss numbers, I just pick the closest piece number and add a bunch of letters instead of starting from the 1500s…mostly because I iron in number order most of the time and it’s easier). So I had to trace those pieces, find the fabrics that were in that flesh run, iron them down, and cut them out. Which was not quick. So last night, I didn’t get much done. But here’s the second foot ready to go…

Sigh. More tonight, hopefully.

This morning, though, another meeting. Love meetings. This one will be short and sweet. I have about three things to say about another teacher and then I have work to do. Not fun. Also still necessary. This job has not been fun for most of this year. Sometimes with the kids…but also so much work.

So disheartening. Although this popped up on my Facebook feed last night from 13 years ago…

They all look related. Sweet Calli.

This show is still about to close…at the Hyde Gallery at Grossmont College.

There’s You Pollute Me, hanging strong.

Just keep going. Read books, exercise, get outside, make art. Talk to people, check your reactions and make sure you’re not being unreasonable (I did that before I called this morning’s meeting). Eat well. Or as well as you can considering the circumstances. Speak up for those who can’t. Or shouldn’t because of the repercussions. Hope the eye twitch goes away in June.

I Hope I Put It in My Phone

I’m never really sure what throws my brain in a hole. It’s stuff that happens all the time, but then my reactions are different for some reason. Like a switch flips up or down and that’s it. There’s the hole. I’m in it. I often blame hormones. But who knows if that’s really it. I had a really successful weekend. I got a lot done. I went to an opening where I won an award. I don’t know what the deal is. Hopefully it won’t last long. Usually being around middle-school kids all day has a tendency to banish the blues. And calling it “the blues” is kinda lame too. It’s just a bad place my brain goes, a place it’s been before, and apparently a place I’ll never forget how to fall into.

With that, here’s what I got done on Saturday. Kitten was the model for this one…

She’s cute. Another quiet one.

Then the second owl…this is pulled from one of the bathtub drawings…in fact, it might be the one I’m going to make next into a quilt.

I haven’t decided for sure yet. I tried him on multiple blues, but this one worked best.

I finished all of that before going to the Interpretations opening at Visions…where I won the Director’s Award. Which is cool. Never won an award there before…me with my giant boob. The show is open until um…January 3. Long time.

Several people asked if it was me in the story…and yeah. I dealt with about a year of excessive mammogramming and ultrasounds and twisty pokey stuff, and then they proclaimed it a normal dark spot. I did actually see it on one of the scans. It’s been there for over 7 years now and hasn’t changed. It’s the alien in my boob. Much like the aliens in my uterus. Who might all be gone now. Who knows.

So that was Saturday. Sunday was filled with errands and getting ready for school, sending emails and fixing the website and trying to organize the week and get caught up on grading (I will never be caught up).

Then I came in to iron. It was late, but I’d been fighting that mood for hours and there’s no way to make it go away, but making art helps it feel less awful. So I ironed the last of the cats. Yeah, this is the weird one.

I drew it during a staff meeting…or a union meeting. Can’t remember which. The woman next to me kept watching me and it was annoying me, so that’s where the eyeballs came from. Anyway…I’m not really expecting this one to sell (although someone bought the eyeball bird last year, and it was a weird one). I like it anyway.

The next step, hopefully tonight, is to start sandwiching all of them, getting them ready for quilting. Progress…slow but sure.

So I was getting ready to go to sleep last night and looked up at my bedroom ceiling…

Yeah, so I had to get a stepstool and a tupperware and some cardboard and then he kept running, but eventually I caught him and set him free in the front yard. My biggest freakout with this is How do they get in? Because there was the baby lizard on my pillow a few weeks ago. I feel like there’s a lizard family living in my bedroom. But Kitten lives in my bedroom. You think she’d be aware of these things.

There’s also this…

I needed a fried egg in a circle. I was actually fascinated by the patterns of the oil in the tin foil. I once painted a whole 3×4′ painting of tin foil. It’s in the garage somewhere. Ah, the things you do in college. There’s also a 4-foot green penis. And another one of a tin can. That one’s cool. It would make a great quilt. I did it as a screenprint too. I was talking to one of the artists at the Interpretations exhibit about all the stuff I want to try and how I don’t have time, and she just straight up said I needed to retire. Then I would be able to do those things.

Oh. OK. I’ll get on that (excuse me while I roll around on the floor laughing, because I won’t be able to afford to retire until I’m dead).

Meanwhile, I make art in the middle of the night. I draw in my head while I’m in the car. I compose quilts while sitting in meetings. I color them in while I’m grading papers. I get ideas while I’m teaching (I got one the other day and yelled it out, and my students were amused. I don’t remember what it was now. I hope I put it in my phone. I usually do.).

OK. With that, I need to go earn a living.

17 Towels Stuffed in a Hamper

It’s official. I’m living all by myself for the first time in 26 years. You know how I know? I had popcorn for dinner. Ok, now just to clarify, I got home from Boston at like 10:30 at night San Diego time, which was really 1:30 AM Boston time, and I ate “dinner” at Logan Airport before I left but that was at 3:30 PM Boston time and then a fruit and cheese plate on the plane at 7:15 PM Boston time, and then I got home and I was hungry but because my body has no clue what time zone it’s in or when I should eat. Plus I kept forgetting to eat in Boston. So there’s that. This morning, I am eating breakfast like a good girl and I have prepared a lunch of whatever was left in the fridge that had not grown mold or gone bad in some other stomach-twisting way. So yeah. That’s cheese, crackers, and kiwi. It’s a fruit and cheese plate!

The cats missed me. Maybe the dog did. The ex and I are still sharing custody of her. Yeah. Whatever. I’m home more during the week and they would miss each other if they didn’t hang out. So she lives here and goes to Daddy on weekends. You can be sure I will inherit all vet appointments, but he will clean her ears out and bathe her and take her for walks. It’s on my list to take her for walks.

I managed to keep it together when I said goodbye to the girlchild. It was OK. I had already cried all over eastern Boston area, from Home Depot to Target, to Bed Bath and Holy Hell What Don’t They Sell Here (one BBB had a mini Cost Plus inside it?!). She hugged hard and I held onto the tears until I got about 2 minutes down the road. It’s really unsafe to drive while crying by the way, but I’ve perfected it over the years. I cry more in the car than anywhere else.

Certainly the whole thing makes you re-evaluate your entire life. I really don’t need that much pressure right now, though, because it’s the 4th day of school and I’m only semi-prepared for the week.

I do have college dorm pictures. Oh so exciting, right? When you look around at your own personal space and realize how far away from that you are, then yes…yes it is. Girlchild is in a triple…should be interesting. So those will have to come later, when I have time to deal with them.

By the way, I have no idea what’s going on with the first picture on the last post. I’ll have to try to fix that later too. They both came from the phone camera app in exactly the same way…no idea why WordPress had an issue. I did draw on the plane both ways and in the room on the last night there. I wasn’t thinking too hard about drawing…just wanted to get pen on paper. I don’t think I’d drawn all summer, except finishing up the cats (what cats? I haven’t done any cats. Shhh. Maybe no one will notice that they are still piles of Wonder Under that have been cut out.) and the drawing for the big quilt I’m ironing now. So it was kind of a relief to fill up a few pages. Very meditative. In fact, my meditation app prompted me in the middle of the plane flight, and I thought, this is the perfect place to meditate, but then I drew instead. Ah, priorities.

So mom, you’ll have to wait another day (or so) to see dorm pictures (yes, she’s stalking me, but for a reason), but here’s what I drew on the plane…

In keeping with the Mother Earth where the plants are covering her. I like it. I could make this into a smaller quilt. In my spare time.

Speaking of quilts, Mammogram got into the Interpretations: Celebrating 30 Years exhibit that will be at the Visions Art Museum opening in October.

They have been good to me. No censorship there (that I’ve seen). Impressive. I should be at the opening; stop by and see my giant boob.

Really, it’s hard to miss the kids. I just found 17 towels stuffed in the bathroom hamper and a bunch of the girlchild’s socks. I wonder if she wants them.