Depending on How You Look at It

Hey. It’s Friday again. It is a taco cart day (teacher appreciation is all about food…although I think we also get a sweatshirt…woo). It’s also an assembly day, which means we end with an hour of noise and nowhere to sit and did I say noise? Short classes all day; pros and cons to that. State science testing is next week, so I have two days left to impart all the knowledge. It won’t all happen, thanks to my school board getting us sued. Fun stuff. I’ll be handing out flyers to elect new school board members…these two are useless. So I can’t say I’m looking forward to the crazy that is today, but it could be worse. This unit is almost done. I’m not sure how much they got out of it…I wish I’d had another two weeks (oh wait, that’s how long the sex ed unit I had to move to before testing was). But oh well. Is it the end of the world? No. Do I want kids to look at the test and think, ‘no one ever taught me this’? No, but they will think that anyway, even if we DID teach it to them. So there’s only so much I can do.

Artwise, I’ve been drawing every night…

I did more on the top; it might be done? I’m not thrilled with the empty space above her head, but I’ll think about it, let it percolate. This ended with this happening…

Bowie tries to bully the girl cats, but Scribble turned around, bopped him, and chased him away. Just makes it hard to draw.

Last night was more chill…

I started working on the bottom, about redistricting and voting. I’m incredibly disheartened by the redistricting stuff in the South. This country, all those stupid white people, I’m just boggled. Rich white people. Throwing a maternal health conference and ignoring the maternal health of black women. FFS people. And losing even more representation in government…we haven’t taken a step back…we’ve fallen into a racist misogynist pit of the past. The vaccine stuff too, and the Vitamin K shots. WTF is wrong with people? So I’m not sure I can coherently get all my feelings about that into one quilt, but apparently I’m trying. It’s funny, though…I was really trying in the original drawing to find peace before school started last year, to draw something that wasn’t all politics and government (well, except for her head being on fire), and I’m not making that quilt any more.

I’m also thinking about 2027 residencies. I had heard about one that a fellow artist was going on and just got the prospectus…$9K??? Are you fucking kidding me? For two weeks. Yes, it’s cool and all, but I guess you have to be a rich artist to go. Not doing that one. Mine this year is free, except I have to pay for food and getting there. Not bad. It would be nice to have a stipend too to cover those extra costs, but we always go on some vacation each year and we’re doing that on the way up, and I would have to pay for food anyway. So it works out. Sort of. Mostly. Having to come up with extra money in the summer is always difficult (no, I don’t get paid in the summer), but I think I might be OK this year. We’ll see.

I did a little squirrel work last night.

We were supposed to have a stitching meeting, but we’re down to three of us and one is in Sicily or Italy or both and I’m tired and the other doesn’t like the drive, so we skipped. It’s hard meeting at night sometimes. We should work on some alternate times/spaces. In my spare time.

Ah yes, those damn files. They’re probably gonna be in the quilt too. Forcing women to have babies they don’t want…seems idiotic. Oh, also not helping them financially with said babies. Also stupid. I love returning back to the Dark Ages of women’s rights. And voting rights.

The baby owls are out of the box…there’s definitely two, maybe three (one keeps squawking from further away).

The lighter one is at 5:30 AM, which might be why I feel like I’m not sleeping. They are not quiet.

OK. Teaching something today…the end of the evolution unit. DNA? More rock layer stuff? Then an assembly. Then duty after school. Then ceramics! Yay! I got someone to take the afterschool meeting besides ME. Then unfortunately I have to cook dinner. I’m hoping to get my quilts photographed this weekend, but my photographer hasn’t answered. Also we’re going mattress shopping. Not sure how that’s gonna go. I will probably finish the drawing this weekend though and maybe start numbering it. That’s cool. Or crazy. Depending on how you look at it.

A Threat Call…

I woke up at 1 AM out of a deep sleep, heart pounding, dog growling, as the two adult barn owls screeched a threat call. I wouldn’t ignore that if I were another animal. I don’t know what was out there, but I do know the babies were back to squawking away within 20 minutes, so it must have been OK. Scared me though…and the dog. Maybe a barn owl needs to make it into this quilt too.

So this new quilt comes from a drawing from last summer, which I did at the first all-staff meeting (before kids showed up). They wouldn’t let us have our computers open and they literally read to us from the slides, so I drew. I had copied the drawing back in December or January, but got sidetracked by other things that needed to be done. Originally, I was just going to make it into a quilt, just the drawing, but the world impinges on that, so I added paper above and below, and started drawing a couple nights ago.

Yes, Scribble is lying on the part I was drawing on. Why do you ask? I got some stuff roughed out in pencil…

And last night, I inked that and added more pencil…

And last night, while I was trying to fall asleep, I took notes on a couple more things that could go up here. And more down below. Although I am enjoying branching out into the dye paintings, there is a certain sense of relief about going back to how I ‘normally’ make quilts. My brain likes it.

I also drew, inked, and numbered a baby quilt drawing…

It’s taken me a year to do this, I think. It’s supposed to go in here…

And although it doesn’t look like it’s the right shape or size, I’ve shoved the paper in there and it works, plus I added an inch all the way around for marginal errors. So that’s on my list too.

Monday, I made it back to ceramics…and decided I didn’t need to attach the heart…I could just lay it on there.

It turned out bigger than I thought, which is funny, because I literally had the torso there in front of me when I made it.

I added some veins to the fabric piece, and then flowers to the arm.

We have these punch things, not sure what they’re actually for…cookies? I’ve used the leaves before. I was going to make flowers, but these were more fun.

I made three. I’m going to go back and texture the centers and add stems and leaves and maybe bugs.

Fun stuff.

I was trying to finish my book…

My lap charges a premium.

Our school is doing teacher appreciation week this week. Yesterday was nachos, but they weren’t ready during my prep. I was supposed to eat them during lunch, except I can’t usually substitute like that. Oh well.

But yeah. Give me back my time, show up outside, do the things, follow through…please.

I’m in. Although I can’t really eat ice cream unless we hike three miles in the forest first. Hopefully you’re up for that part too.

OK. Today I teach rock layers. It’s really hard: the rocks where fossils are found usually form in layers. It’s sedimentary rock. The oldest rocks are on the bottom, so if you find fossils down there, they are usually the oldest. The newest ones are on top. There, I’m done. Y’all, it will take all period and some kids will never get it. I’m doing the speedy version, not the fun one where I give them cards and they have to figure out the layers. The state science test is in a week. I’m panicking a little. Oh well. I started planning next year, in that, I made a copy of this year’s calendar and I’m changing all the dates and holidays. That’s it. That’s what I can handle at the moment. It’s fine.

After school is a union meeting. I’m already tired. Tired of meetings and kid drama and adult bullshit. I should start a new book (seriously, I finished that other one last night, so I’m allowed).

There Is No Free.

Ah the challenge of existence. In one class, every time I say the word ‘job’, half the class gasps and groans. Oh hey, I get it. That’s how I feel at the moment too. I was getting ready for bed last night, and four separate student emails came in and I ignored all of them. They had all already been answered during the day. I will have to deal with all of them again today, because apparently once (or in one case, 17 times) is not enough. I think maybe 10% of what I say in class sinks in for most kids. That may be normal but it’s also exhausting. I’m trying to get caught up on grades, but have to deal with all this other stuff: this kid wants to move to a class with their friends (no; so many other reasons why that kid can’t move), this other kid wants to move to be with HIS friends (still no, not jamming everyone into my morning class to accommodate your friendships), this third kid wants to move with her friend and sister (also no), I finally email counseling and tell THEM to start saying no (OMG what a load of crap). Then the same kid who emailed 6 times on Saturday, 2 times last night, questions that were already answered during class…every day since last Tuesday. I take ashwaganda for all that. It’s not enough. Also, you should teach and plan and grade and fill out forms for this kid and that kid and then go to meetings for this other kid, and that other kid (there’s three this week) and then there’s an emergency meeting on the one day you thought you’d be free. Ha! Not free. There is no free.

Aack. That’s probably a statement for the year now. And for some groups, always. Land of the Free, my ass. I just watched yet another video of ICE hauling off an American citizen. And you know what? I don’t even think they should be hauling off someone who is illegal. Unless they’ve committed heinous crimes, which most of them haven’t. So many of them are in the process of being here legally, or they came here legally and we changed the damn rules on them. So stupid. They pay taxes. They contribute to a working economy. They are part of a community. This shit is stupid.

Really trying to keep my chill today. It’s a lab and I have a few kids who lose their minds with labs. I need the materials to stay usable and unbroken today. Oh, we also had to fire our teacher’s aide yesterday, a student, because of his other behaviors. So now we don’t even have that. Frustrating. It’s fine. School is always some level of frustrating. I’m just finding it overly so this year. Again. Sigh.

Art! I am finally shipping my newest quilt off to its owner. Got the photos back. Here is Humanity Is in Your Hands…

Lots of crazy stuff going on in this quilt.

First quilt I’ve had someone give birth to the Statue of Liberty. NOT the first quilt with ICE in it, scarily.

First quilt with ALL of the planets; I’ve done some of them before, but not all of them.

Anyway, hoping the owner likes it. She’s good about showing the work she owns, which I greatly appreciate. On to the next one! I’m still trimming stuff.

Didn’t get a full hour the last two nights. Stupid day job.

But there’s progress. I’m in the 2nd of the 4+ yards. I thought originally I could be done by tomorrow night, but ha! Life says no. I’m supposed to have a finished approximate size by November 5. I think it will be very approximate. Pro? I need a background and the damn store isn’t open late enough for me to go until Saturday, so I’ll be doing that. And not wasting time trying to iron things without a background fabric to compare the fabrics to. I’m so discombobulated this week that my weekly bullet journal isn’t done yet. It’s fucking Wednesday. I’m sure there’s shit I need to be doing (besides what’s in my phone calendar); I’m just not sure what it is (order needles. vote. buy slats and boxes to ship a quilt or two.).

I wanted to go to ceramics yesterday, but I needed to buy the stuff to ship the quilt and then put a label on it and pack it up and prep the box. The Man is being nice enough to have them pick it up from his work, because it needs insurance paperwork and picking up from school is problematic. Today is pilates, which I really really need. Tomorrow is now an emergency union meeting. Luckily it’s on Zoom, so I might be able to pull off going to ceramics AND sitting through a Zoom (we’ll see if that’s a thing). Because the head is out of the bisque kiln and ready for glazing.

When they trimmed the trees down below, there’d been a squirrel up in those trees and we were worried. We don’t see many squirrels around here. Well here’s one. And there was another one in that tree, so maybe it’s the same one? I don’t know. But I never trim all the trees at once (who has that kind of money?), so there’s always somewhere for them to live.

Fence squirrel.

You know, every morning, I take deep breaths and try to find some zen for school.

Also that’s Newton’s third law, which I was writing a worksheet for yesterday.

It’s Spirit Week at school and we’re supposed to wear a specific thing each day, and for some weird reason, the staff is competing with the kids (no one is winning). Today for staff is supposed to be something with 6-7 on it (if you’re not a teacher or living in a house with a teacher or living in a house with a kid, you probably have no idea how annoying 6-7 is right now), so I refused…I’m twinning like the kids are. But I would have worn this (and gotten in big trouble for it).

Tomorrow is pajamas and luckily it won’t be 97 degrees tomorrow like it’s supposed to be today. Fall, my ass.

And this…

We could feed the poor if we weren’t assholes.

OK. Sigh. Lab. Newton’s first law, inertia. Crashing cars into each other. Should be fun. Then pilates, then grading, then shit, I think I have to cook again (ugh this week sucks), and finally cutting things out. Maybe earlier because of the last two nights not successfully getting an hour. I will GET AN HOUR. Oh man, I hope so.

A Great Week

Yean, school was hard. Yeah, I’m buried in grading. Yes, yes, I’m tired. YES, I even got a rejection notice this week, but hey, ya ya, I got into a residency I really wanted and I finished (and sold) a quilt. It feels good.

Video of me trying to get Nova off the quilt last night so I could finish stitching the sleeves on…

The actual quilt finished (not the official photos…gotta get it to the photographer for that).

Feels good. Looks good. Needs a title. I’m camping this weekend, so I’ll have brain space to figure that out. Plus a statement. It was hard to make. This kind of quilt always is, but I put space and the planets in there for headspace (ha!) plus protecting all the peoples. Keep doing that. All of us.

What’s next? I need to make a larger piece for a dual show in Virginia opening in January. It’s bathtubs. Don’t ask. You’ll see. It will still have politics. How can it not at the moment?

I also finished my book this morning…20 minutes left.

Fuck Greg seriously. I started another one. I’m supposed to be packing for camping (I’ve been doing that in between all the other shit). We leave after lunch. Aack. I have so much to do, I’m having a hard time breathing. It’s fine.

Aargh. And this.

White boys. They don’t listen. Some do. Lots don’t.

If you don’t understand the 6-7 reference, consider yourself lucky (and not a teacher at the moment.

The boychild is taking amazing nature photos…he’s in Montana at the moment. This is gorgeous…

Glacier National Park. One more thing on my list of places to go.

OK, but right now, I need to pick up something and then come back and cook chicken for tonight’s dinner and pack all the things and then get in the car and head to nature. And draw some more! And bask in the not-here-ness (because so many things need to be done here). And enjoy the great art stuff.

Sore from the Stabbing…

“This week isn’t so bad,” she says, as she prepares to start going and not stop until bedtime. Today is a little nuts. At least I don’t have a morning meeting, so I got to pretend to sleep in until 6:30 AM. If only the dog, the sun, and my brain would allow the sleeping in part. Meanwhile, the government is shut down but everyone still does their jobs…well, unless you aren’t getting paid for it? Nah, most of those people are still working; and there’s all those people who ‘chose’ to leave the government…or were forced out. Sending positive thoughts out for them; not sure how the job market is going at the moment…and certainly, if you’re not a white male in the military, I’m hoping your bosses are smarter than their bosses, after listening to some of the crazy shit those two white boys said yesterday to all those generals. There’s something seriously wrong with an administration who threatens its own people with military force. That’s not a democracy. At all.

So there’s that. Meanwhile, I’m still trying to get all the day job work done (ha! So far behind right now). I’m behind because I prioritize my art time, by the way. In case you were wondering. So Monday night, I had book club, where I loved the book and no one else did (it’s OK…) and I’m even reading another book by that author to see if it was a one-off. I was in the mood for whatever that was? Who knows. I did stitch binding, but you know, it all looks the same. I forgot to take a picture Monday night. Yesterday, I went to ceramics. I have the last bits of glazing done on the head, and I finally got to talk to the kiln person about trying to fire bits next week. No photos…it looks just like it did Sunday. Well, not exactly. I cleaned up stuff and added a little. And I graded a bit and then made dinner, which was tasty, but a pain, and frustrating, because it didn’t do what it was supposed to. Girlchild to the rescue with suggestions. For next time. Finally got to the stitching…

It’s been an insane balance, trying to get an hour to stitch and still get to bed at a reasonable hour. I’m failing on both. I stopped grading because I realized I had 18 left to grade and that was another hour, and I wasn’t grading past 9:30. But I had other stuff to do…I had to fill out an acceptance form because I got into an art/science residency in Oregon next summer, out in the Oregon Outback (east side, super remote). Totally excited. Will post more later. On the binding, I’m 3/4 of the way around and I still need to sew the sleeves on, and no, I still haven’t pulled out the thimble pads. Because I’m stubborn? I don’t know. I start stitching and I feel like it’s more work and time to find them and put them on, and the next morning, my finger is all sore from the stabbing. Not very bright.

Anyway, I’m not sure today is going to be much better for time management. The Man said something about my time management (and yes, I almost punched him), and really it’s just that there are too many things to reasonably do in the time I have. And that sucks and it’s super stressful.

It might even be fucktangular.

Today I’m taking my sewing machine in to be cleaned, I’m teaching the second part of a skate park simulation, but I don’t think it’ll take all period, but I don’t know what else they’re gonna do because that was on my list to figure out last night, and instead, I was texting my science team and emailing my principal about a possible new hire. So I might lose part of my prep period to that conversation, instead of relieving my anxiety about not being planned far enough out, which I realize is kinda driving me bonkers. After school, I have to drive to drop off the machine, and then go to pilates (that’s kind of a time crunch, but I can do it), then come home and take the trash out and probably deal with the gutter people and grade things and holy god, there’s another book club Zoom. Yeah. Plus grading and stitching binding. SLEEP! Maybe. Because I’m not very good at that. I’m not sure tomorrow is any better? We’ll see. Pro: camping this weekend. (Con: man oh man I’m already behind in lesson planning and grading.) It’s fine. It will all be fine. Deep breath in? Breathe out. It’s October now.

Another Hole in My Finger…

No matter what I do, I’m always sitting on the couch on Sunday night, wondering why I didn’t get more done over the weekend. Like I shouldn’t have gone to ceramics yesterday, despite not being able to get there all week, because I should have graded more. I should have finished that one assignment (I have a class and a half left to grade…at least an hour, probably closer to two). I should have finished grading the homework from two weeks ago (I have two classes left, maybe three? Can’t remember). I’m two weeks behind in grading advisory assignments. Ah well. And I’m going camping this coming weekend, so I won’t be grading then. Unless I can get the Man to drive (then I might get sick…hmmm) so I can grade homework on the way up. Meanwhile, I’m trying to not waste my ceramics studio membership by not going, I haven’t made it to the gym in weeks, and I have a quilt I’m trying to finish so I can start the one that has to be done by mid-December. Minor panic. I did manage to pick a binding from the three and get it sewn on…

Although Friday night, all I did was trim it. It was all I could handle. I graded a lot Friday night. On Saturday, I had more mental energy…so I got the binding sewn on and pinned down, and found a cat to sit on it.

Thank you, Nova. Then last night, I started the stitching and ritual poking a hole in my finger until I give in and find the sticky thimble things.

So I’ll be here a few more nights, then contact the photographer, and start the next one, which has been simmering on the Art Brain stove for a few weeks.

Ceramics has been frustrating lately; I can’t get there (I don’t have the energy or the time) and then when I get there, someone has bumped the big piece shoving stuff next to it, and it’s broken again. This is the head, though…and it’s almost underglazed…

Still some work to do on the hair…

And I think I did the teeth too? Maybe? I can’t remember when I took the photo. The mid-torso piece is hopefully ready to bisque fire, but that takes coordination with the person in charge of the kilns, and I haven’t been able to show up during her work time for weeks. I could just text her, I guess. I’m hesitant to commit to putting it into the kiln. I’m afraid it’s all going to fall apart, honestly, and if it does, I’m gluing it all together. There is a piece that goes on top of this, and the base needs to be bisque fired again, so there’s a lot going on…I just haven’t been able to get there enough.

When we go out on Saturdays, I draw until they bring us the food. I don’t always get much time (some places are super fast).

But it helps my drawing hand remember the things.

And sometimes people comment…this one got some random guy telling me it was good. Thanks random guy.

This one was two restaurants, two date nights.

The first one served way too fast.

This one too.

But it seemed mostly finished.

And yet, here is what I get from students…

I could just about read his writing. There were a couple that I really couldn’t read. This is the con to putting stuff on paper. The pro is that they can’t copy and paste from Google. The con is my brain explodes. This is what I didn’t finish. It’s not hard to grade, really…just time-consuming. What is that, you say? A person falling out of a moving car. If you stare at it long enough, you might see it. I only know that because the horrendously mostly illegible writing to the right explained it.

So more of that.

While I was grading, I was watching stuff, as you do…and this amused me. ALMOST?

So you have 26 pairs? Or you have part of a pair? Also, yeah, so do I, at least.

This after a conversation on Thursday with two staff members who admitted to originally being afraid of me.

It’s OK. This was found on Saturday’s hike before dinner…

Also the sun is going down earlier. I forgot that would happen.

Same cat (Nova) on another quilt.

It must be fall, the cat-sitting-on-quilt season.

This after the Man went out with man friends. Although they did actually ask some questions this time.

I ask stuff when he gets back, and he’s like, “We didn’t talk about that” over and over again until I’m like, WTF did you talk about?! I’m not invited anymore (it’s all just guy stuff, no gaming mostly), and I just wanna know how everyone is doing. And I can’t ask them.

Let’s finish up with my favorite disappeared female aviator…

Go Amelia!

OK. It’s a short week because our school board has set these idiotic 3-day weekends (the next one isn’t even a 3-day…it’s entirely stupid) because they say parents want them. It’s true that a bunch of our kids are absent on Fridays or Mondays…but it makes it harder to teach. I’ll take this one though…we’re going camping up in the local mountains. It’s a full week though…three Zoom calls at night (none are work-related), plus at least three meetings? Four? Not sure. I give up on keeping track. Teaching something today…ah, reviewing potential and kinetic energy for roller coasters, which they’ll start designing on Thursday. Fun times. Then two meetings or three, not sure (principal says one thing then says something different in the weekly email that comes whenever he feels like it…I miss the principal that scheduled them for the same time every week). Then I’m either going to ceramics or coming home and grading, because I have book club tonight. Good book for that one. And then stitching a hole in my finger. NO! Finding the sticky thimble pad, so I DON’T stitch a hole in my finger. That’s the plan.

Some Kind of Metaphor

Hey. Such weird dreams last night. Are all your dreams of you running running running always running up and down stairs and hallways with a million doors and jumping over things while running and did I mention running? No?! Like WTF then. Why do I have to do that? Might be some kind of metaphor for my life. It’s OK…we can slow the fuck down now…it’s almost October. Right? Please? This week has been nuts and I have no clue what I’m teaching Monday. Minor issue. Really. I mean. It’s Friday. I don’t have to know, right? Ha! This morning is yet another kinda last-minute, holy shit meeting. Could do without those. It’ll be fine. Really. Ugh. It’s Friday at least, right? I know I am planning on going to ceramics tonight (got pre-empted all week) and I have leftover tacos for dinner and a good book that I am 69% of the way through (for book club on Monday) and some binding to put on, because yes!!! I finally finished quilting. No quilting Tuesday for Billy Idol, and none Wednesday because I had to label and pack a quilt to ship it to a show. Good news there. But last night, I sat down and got the last little bits quilted and that damn thread didn’t break once. I think it was tension on the last bits of the last spool and old, dry thread at the beginning of the new spool. And as soon as I finish getting the binding on, I’m calling the sewing machine place (oooh, maybe call today) and setting up a cleaning.

I used a variegated cotton thread in the background, which is the stuff that was breaking.

Better view? Who knows. I’m not a fancy quilter most of the time. The background just needs to recede.

On Saturday, before I went to LA, I went to my local fabric shop to try to find binding. It’s only open limited hours, which sucks for anyone who works during the day, and I found two that might work, but I wasn’t sold on them. So I got both…knowing I could use the other for sleeves or something else (this is how I end up with way too much fabric)…sometimes I totally know a binding is going to work. Saturday morning, I did not. Then I was looking in the stash last night and saw another that might work. I find it easier to SEE the fabrics as binding if I take a photo…

And I ended up taking two photos because the top and the bottom are very different.

The left one is a no. I’m debating on the other two. I’ll make a decision tonight. Will need to quick clean the floor again and trim the quilt; then I can get the binding on. Lots of handsewing ahead, but I think I can set up photography drop off for next week and start working on the next one! It’s time. It’s been percolating in my head on and off…in between the running running running dreams.

Got to school Wednesday morning and found this sweetheart lying on the ground near my room door.

It’s a sign.

This is absolutely true. I concur.

Which does not bode well for this morning’s meeting. I did actually ask one class the other day about whether they thought I was oldest, middle, or youngest (we were talking about a kid who I had guessed was youngest…he was)…and the majority of them thought I was an oldest. Good guess, y’all.

So this though.

I cannot. I don’t even know. My head hurts. Actually he usually just copies from Google or the question, so it’s probably that? But holy crap. And then every day, he asks to go to the bathroom and gets mad when I won’t let him go because none of his work is done. Exhausting. Today will also be exhausting. They’re turning in a packet and finishing a test and then being quiet (ha…IDK how they will do that). I hate having to find more work for the kids who are done, because some of them actually worked hard to get it done and some of them (like that kid) just rushed through it to be done so they can play games on their computers. Sigh. One kid yesterday asked why we had headphones on the desk if we didn’t use them in class that day. I’m staring at him, sort of confused. I’m like, I’m not taking them off every other day and then putting them back on…they can sit on the desk and you can just not USE them today. Crazy. Absolutely nutsy cuckoo.

Anyway. The plan is set. Hopefully I’ll know what I’m doing Monday at some point today. That’s my goal anyway.

I Did All the Things…

Short weekend? Long drive on Saturday, totally worth it, but wish the driving parts were less heinous. I can never go to LA without it taking 9 hours. It’s like the ER…it’s always 4 hours (except when it’s not). So yeah…the quilting is also going oh so slowly. The thread keeps breaking, even after I did all the things.

It wasn’t breaking Friday night, actually. A little. Then Saturday and Sunday night, it was nonstop.

I was near the end of a spool, so I figured it was that. The thread gets in a weird position. I changed the needle, adjusted tension, cleaned everything out, rethreaded it a million times.

Finally finished the old spool and put the new one on. It breaks again. Aargh. Slowpoking it through the last bit of this. At this rate, not sure when I will finish. I did buy binding fabric Saturday morning…it’s why I didn’t get an earlier start to LA, although I was on the road north at 9:30 AM. Didn’t matter. It was 3+ hours up, an hour up there, then an accident on the way back. Got home at 6:30 PM. Ugh. Blood sugar was a mess the whole time. Fun times.

That said, the Bisa Butler show up there was amazing. Totally worth it, even though I’m exhausted and grades aren’t done.

Just staring at all the glittery things in these pieces…

The tulle, the lace, the fur, and the velvet.

And the vinyl…or whatever it is. Oh my.

These are some seriously touchable quilts.

Her arm had lace and tulle…gorgeous.

Also be impressed by my ability to NOT take a straight photo. I had been in a car for over 3 hours.

This piece glowed in the gallery.

But not so much in the photo.

The feet are in the water…the vinyl water…

I’m sure there was a list of pieces and names somewhere, but I never found it. Probably would have had to talk to the people in the bookstore. Ugh.

Texture.

Her machine probably doesn’t break threads like mine.

Mine does need to go in to be cleaned…oh my, look at the fabrics in that piece.

I need to be a thousand times more ballsy with my fabric choices.

I walked to Jeffrey Deitch’s other gallery, which was a feminist art show.

It drives me a little crazy that they’re not labeled. So IDK who did what.

The show is It Smells Like Girl.

Not sure how I feel about that either.

But there were a few pieces I really liked.

I was raised in LA…

And it feels familiar but not.

So many freeways I don’t recognize.

Anyway, it was a good trip that took too long. I should spend more time next time, or stay overnight, or leave earlier. I don’t know. It’s frustrating, for sure. There’s plenty of art up there I’d like to see. And now my grades aren’t done, which is stressful. So am I making the wrong choices or does my day job just suck up too much time? Speaking of the day job, my co-teacher and I dressed up for Mismatch Day.

This is also Friday, at the end of the day.

And here’s some more politics for you.

Disturbing.

This is a good plan for the week though.

Spino is my friend.

OK. School. I’m already late. Good start.

Cut the AI Cord…

I think I finally slept last night…for about 6 hours. But the first time this week for that long…which is problematic, yes. The heat doesn’t help. My brain definitely doesn’t help. Worrying about shit that needs to get done…totally doesn’t help. Thanks brain. Appreciate the support. This is, of course, the same brain that pops up 30 creative ideas in 30 seconds when I need it to. So pros and cons of the creative brain. It can certainly come up with stuff.

I finally finished the outline quilting, with the last few nights starting late and not doing a full hour, or sacrificing sleep to that. This is Wednesday night’s barely did anything…

OK, I did the head, the hands, and the barn owl…and the two missiles. That was it. Like 40 minutes max. It’s all the time I had, and I needed to be up early in the morning.

Last night, I was determined to finish the outlining…

And I did, but I started late, went to bed late, ugh. I need to figure out what thread I’m using in the background and that’s all that’s left, so hopefully by early next week? I do need binding fabric, which is problematic in terms of where to shop and when, but I’ll figure it out. So hopefully she’ll be done around next weekend and I can contact the photographer. That’s the plan anyway. We know how plans go. Grades are due and I’m driving to LA tomorrow to see the Bisa Butler show. I was supposed to have an art meeting up on the way in the morning, but it got canceled…I’m still going up to see the show though. It’ll be a kamikaze trip.

Girlchild is still in Japan…

Beautiful, eh?

I’d like to say I have a plan for the next quilt, which I need for the dual show coming up in 2026, and it’s sort of in my head, but not quite. Wish me luck.

I needed ginger and my regular store didn’t have any, so I stopped in the bougie store near pilates…they spell weird.

Also, they don’t know what red seedless grapes are. Or ginger is.

I’m low key irritated by that, because grapes are more expensive than ginger.

This shit is disturbing.

I don’t like that there isn’t more information being released. I also don’t like that CK gets flags at half mast and all that crap when the Minnesotan representatives did not. CK is documented spewing so much hate speech. And yet he’s some sort of savior? Only if you’re rich and white and believe his stuff. Sigh. I don’t know where to go with all this. I don’t know how to fix it. Remember the days of Bush Sr and even Reagan, when you didn’t agree, and you thought they were idiots (we didn’t know the idiots could be worse then), but everyone existed together and people weren’t fired for having opinions and corporations didn’t cave to the government threatening them (we can do this the easy way or the hard way???!!!), and you know what, the government didn’t threaten people and corporations if they didn’t parrot the crazy shit. More importantly.

So yeah, the next quilt is fomenting in my brain. Like a bad cabbage and a can of expired beer. Which might describe a huge hunk of the current government as well.

This is part of a larger thought, but caught my eye. The ivory tower of education…I mean, you want your doctors and teachers educated, right?

Limiting cancer research? Cancer doesn’t give a fuck what your politics are. These people are shooting off their feet by canceling research. Mind boggling. Do we want to be Argentina? No…who wants that? Well, obviously someone. But yeah, almost all those rich white guys went to Ivy League schools. And IDK what the women who are in politics and support their agenda are thinking…their agenda is to send you home to have babies and then care for your grandchildren while knitting and baking. It’s like they (the women on the right) ignore that. You won’t be a rep any more. You’ll be at home. No one will listen to you any more. Is that what you want?

Sigh. So yeah. The world is messy and ugly and often anxiety-inducing and sometimes depressing. Although there are still beautiful teahouses out there. And books…I came home yesterday after driving 75 minutes down to San Ysidro and back to pick up my quilts (love having them shown; don’t love the drive) and sat on the couch and just read. And then fell asleep. And then read some more. Instead of grading, which is what I should have done. I was tired and just kind of done. I woke up once in the middle of the night, and my fuzzy brain was desperately trying to persuade me that it was gonna be Saturday morning (nuh uh). So today I’m giving a test. And no computers are allowed. None. Put them the fuck away. You may use anything in your science folder. Will it be hard? Yes. Will it be a challenge to read their handwriting? Oh god yes. But do we need to cut the AI/copy/paste cord? Fuck yes.

After that, I’m hoping to feel up for ceramics, because I didn’t get there all week. More quilting tonight. Tons of (ugh) driving tomorrow. But for a good thing. Something I’m looking forward to. Then home to quilt and finish progress report grades. Gonna need a lot of caffeine.

Looking for Balance…

Yesterday was tiring…our first real hands-on lab with kids and chemicals and hot water and other dangerous things. Today, we do it again, times two. We only got through one station yesterday; today we will force them to get through two. Reading the instructions is apparently hard, even though I review them ahead of time. You never know what they’ll do that makes no sense, so you’re constantly pivoting (hate that word), relabeling, adding materials to the bins to make it easier, and then reviewing all the safety rules AGAIN because someone thought it was funny to taste something. Sigh. Easy to get your steps in at least. Meanwhile, my co-teacher and I are desperately trying to plan next week (it’s happening)…I need to be further ahead than we are. Not happening. And it’s stressful. And neither of us needs more stress at the moment. Ah well.

I’m still quilting. It’s an hour a night, so it takes forever. Not really, but it feels that way. At the end of the night, I’ll have quilted a 10″ square and that’s it. Because there’s a lot of tiny little things in it…so it takes a long time. Here’s Monday night’s progress…

The graveyard…I finished the swamp on the other side too and did some legs and stuff to get to this side. Last night, I finished that side and most of the torso…

I need to finish the left knee and then I can do the head and move up into space. I might finish the outlining tonight. We’ll see. Then on to the background. That pin in the explosion is because I keep finding little pieces I forgot to stitch down, so I mark them for when I run out of bobbin thread. It’s the easiest time to switch the top thread to the invisible stuff I use for stitchdown. Although I think I redid the bobbin thread last night and forgot to fix the two pinned areas. Ah well. It will happen eventually.

Yesterday, I had a kid/parent meeting after school, had to call a parent (see lab info above), then worked on an assignment for next Tuesday (yup…that’s where we’re at), then went to an art opening of a friend at a new cheese shop in La Mesa…

Then came back and graded an assignment (grades are due Tuesday) around eating dinner, washed dishes, and came in here and quilted. Then slept really badly until my blood sugar alarm went off (adjusting insulin AGAIN) and now I’m up to do it all again. Well, minus the kid meeting and the art opening, insert pilates, emptying the dishwasher, and cooking dinner…and taking the trash out. I get help with the last one, and I preempted the crazy by doing some of the composted food stuff on Sunday so today would be less nuts. It will still be nuts. The next four days are all nuts.

You know, I knew Charlie Kirk’s name, but I mostly ignore the extreme right-wing crazies (and he is one of those)…this just solidifies my feelings about him…

‘A teaching experience for children.’ WHAT. THE. FUCK. Because my students aren’t traumatized enough? Because when untreated traumatized people grow up, they don’t cause issues in society? Like shooting people? Yeah, no thanks. As more and more quotes from this man come out, the more glad I am that I never really listened to him. It would have increased my blood pressure. I know those people are out there…and I’m extremely concerned about how our government is swinging wildly in the wind at the moment…but I didn’t need those quotes or clips in my brain all the time. No one does. As someone who works with kids for my job, this is sick and twisted. Disturbing. And it’s even scarier that the politicians of the right don’t call that out. Terrifying. But hey, that’s where we’ve been for the last few years, and for some groups, they’ve been there forever. I wish I had an easy solution, an empathy injection that would flip the board, but I haven’t figured it out yet.

In lighter news…

Mine are probably Papyrus instead of Comic Sans. Ah well. I do love fonts. I spent 30 minutes the other day loading more fonts into my Google suite so I’d have more choices. Really, just for the titles…our kids have a hard time reading, so everything else needs to be in a chill font.

OK. Much as I dread today, it’ll probably be fine. They’ll be engaged and busy at least. It’s just on my end, boiling water, answering questions, making sure no one tastes anything or puts something up their nose…fun times. I’ll collapse back into this chair around 9:30 PM and start quilting again. Maybe get a better night’s sleep? Ugh. Looking for balance, y’all…always looking for balance.