We Always Take More*

Wow. Need focus. I’m trying to relocate my gym/hiking time now that I’m back at school (let’s not talk about how I’ve been back for a month, OK?), and so I did that yesterday…bribed myself with reading my book, and it worked. I really enjoyed working out. But then came back and had to make dinner and deal with some other stuff, and by the end, it was almost midnight. No quilting at all. Sigh. So frustrating. Of course, I’m in that difficult part of the quilt…the part where it feels like it will never be done. Where it just seems endless. Where it’s hard to even sit down at the machine. Where it seems like if I don’t have a big block of time, there is no point in even starting. I have to get my head past that…because I suspect with a few more hours of quilting, ironically I will be able to see an end. Aaargh.

It probably didn’t help that I had a 2-hour staff meeting last night…although it was shorter than that…by 20 minutes? But it was after duty in the crosswalk (prepare to die!) in the rain. I was not in the mood. OK, it’s possible I am never in the mood. That said, I had a professional development on Saturday morning, worst time of the week ever, and I was engaged with the content for the entire 4 hours. Can’t say that happens with PD…certainly hasn’t this year. Luckily because of all the holidays this month, I won’t have to deal with this for another month. I did draw. I just need something that will keep me engaged. I can listen and draw. I can even stop drawing to discuss stuff. (In reality, I can draw and discuss, but people think you’re being rude if you continue to draw while they’re talking to you. Which is too bad. I am listening. I’m just entertaining art brain…like you would a child.)

I had my little sketchbook with me, so everything is tiny.

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And perhaps a tiny bit weird…

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I didn’t finish this one…

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This was after dinner. I did the star stitches in the cretan stitch.

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I almost put a tree in. But then I decided to finish dealing with the cretan stitch first. I might change my mind. This stitching helps me relax, find my brain. Except for last night…last night, it just reminded me that I had seventeen thousand other things to do.

I honestly didn’t do anything else artistic. Which explains how frustrated and tense I feel today. Well, partially, because part of it is that I didn’t do any grading either, so that’s weighing on me. Plus we’re trying to plan this unit and it’s taking so much brain power and time. I even need to do a drawing for it, which isn’t hard and probably won’t even take that much time…I just need the mental space to do it. I know there’s a 3-day weekend coming up, but I don’t want to spend all of it working. And I have so much stuff going on this week. I hate feeling this overwhelmed. And I know the only way to beat it is to get more caught up. So work harder. Yeah.

Music helps…here’s a video for today’s title…didn’t realize the song was so old…

*Zero 7, The Space Between

Alright Already We’ll All Float On*

OK, I’m getting there. Somewhere. Crap though. I just realized I was supposed to email a photo somewhere and I didn’t do it. Damn. So keeping on top of all the little shit is driving me a bit bonkers. Overuse of the calendar…

So I have a bunch of stuff to do this weekend, as always, but mostly it’s art. Well. And politics. But hopefully that’s a good thing. You don’t stop doing that because of the crazy facing you, because you think it’s not doing anything. You keep doing it because the little stuff will eventually add up and make a difference.

I finished the drawing. I did use pencil to sketch in where the guy would go, just to make sure I didn’t fuck it up at that stage.

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My quilts have a lot of detail in them, but not this much. Although looking at this, I think it would make a great quilt. But all those leaves and tree bits! Maybe I could simplify (but then it won’t be as cool). Aack. Anyway, the drawing probably took 5 hours or so over the two days, and that doesn’t count the drawing I did back in December that was sort of a pre-draw to this…which I didn’t like. But it got me here. There were 4 or 5 other false starts. It happens. I’m going to hopefully have some drawing time next week, just because I’ll be somewhere my sewing machine is not.

More of this year of stitches…the variegated green above Long. I’ll probably toss a bunch of french knots in there.

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It’s pretty cold at night here. Simba’s nose was apparently cold. So the whole time I sewed and drew, he had it shoved under some part of my body.

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I finished the drawing, scanned it, and sent it off to its person. And then started trying to sew. I almost gave up completely on the machine. I had cleaned everything out and rethreaded everything, and the tension was still way off. I don’t know how to open the top part…I’m suspecting I’m not supposed to, but there was a possibility there was thread in there. I haven’t figured that part out, although sewing made a short piece of monofilament pop out. Interesting. Then I switched needle size and it seemed to behave. And then it didn’t. I’m hoping that’s a brief fart of stupidity that won’t continue. I’m frustrated as hell over not getting it to behave.

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I didn’t get very far last night. It’ll get done this weekend and hopefully sandwiched as well…even if I have to pull out the old machine to make it work. It worked so well for the last two quilts. Two? Or has it been three? It’s been three. There were some tension issues in the last one. I thought it was just me. Sigh. I don’t have time for this.

*Modest Mouse, Float On

Golden Dreams Were Shiny Days*

‘Twas better yesterday. The labs were a bit smoother than before. Mostly I dealt with kids who can’t work with other people. I’m having a hard time getting stuff done at home though. I’m really tired…even went to bed early (ish) last night (before midnight). Really tired is usually a message from the body, and I try to pay attention to those. I didn’t try sewing on the machine yesterday though…another deadline popped up. So I tried to deal with that…a friend has written a performance piece and wanted a drawing. I’ve been sitting on it for months because it was hard to wrap my head around it. I’m not particularly good at drawing to commission. To theme? Even then, it’s a crapshoot. My version of the theme is often not the organizer’s version. I’m not sure my brain sees what y’all see. I don’t know because all I have is my brain, but I know that words and music put images in my head that don’t necessarily match others’ perceptions. I’m OK with that, but in a situation like this, I just have to hope that what I see is what they see (it probably isn’t).

Anyway, I started drawings about 7 times…this one was doing OK until I got to the legs and the guy, but it’s OK…I used it for the next three iterations.

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So this is where I’m at now…then I was sort of frozen because I hadn’t put the other figure in and I was afraid I was gonna fuck it up.

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So I’ll try to do the other figure and the rest of the tree tonight. So that’s why I didn’t sew, although I could have at that point. Maybe. I just wasn’t in the mood to fuss with the machine.

I spent most of the night with animals…it was cold…

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There is no room for people on my couches. At some point, they all moved around and I got three in a row…

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I took a break from drawing to do the feathery leaves around the P…

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Then I had two of them back…

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A yin yang of furballs.

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Not the most productive night…but whatever. I’m trying not to get frustrated with myself for not being further along on this quilt, but it is what it is. I’m stressed. I’m feeling overwhelmed. I’m doing the best I can right now. Much like many of us, I think. So hopefully tonight I’ll finish the drawing and then go back to the stitch down. Hopefully the machine will behave.

*Earth, Wind, and Fire, September

Pressure Pushing Down on Me*

I’m feeling. Yup. There we are. I write postcards to my senators yesterday, amusingly, because I’m in California and they’re both women, Democrat women. But I expect more from them because of that. My local guys, well, that’s another thing. They’re gonna get me in person. A voter and teacher in their district…maybe they don’t have a clue that not everyone is is a white Made in America. That seems unlikely, but whatever.

So I came home from a staff meeting where I felt frustrated. I’m an adult, not a young one, and I know how I learn, how I retain information. And I’m back to an authority figure who won’t respect that. Sigh. The first one I remember was maybe 2nd or 3rd grade? My mom handled that. But now I’m not allowed to use technology to take notes. So to keep art brain entertained, because otherwise she causes issues, I drew.

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The principal was talking (incorrectly) about nuclear fission and fusion…hence the nuclear power cooling towers. I can’t explain the rest. It would make a nice coloring book image maybe. It’s not even done. I brought it home.

I did all my school and political stuff after that…and then made dinner. Honestly, my brain wasn’t into anything last night. Just tired. And frustrated. Three animals in this picture, two of them on or very close to me.

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Then I stitched the last word. Now to fill in with all the stitches.

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I stitched down for a little while. The dogs needed a lot of entertainment yesterday, so I didn’t get much done. Here it is piled up on the sewing machine to keep the cats off it.

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I’m hoping I have a better attitude toward it tonight. Hard to say. It’s a long process. And sometimes frustrating. The machine is having some random issues that make me swear at it. I finally threw out the end of the spool of Sulky transparent thread, because it was behaving so badly. I don’t like wasting supplies, but it was causing me to waste time, which is more important than the throwing-out part. But it’s still having some issues. Oh well.

Sigh. OK. Gotta go to school, much as I don’t want to. Days and days of labs…kinda driving me nuts. A couple classes are fine, but one is remarkably incapable of reading instructions. And the clean up. Sigh. Geez, I’ve got a great feeling going into today. Meditate on the way to work?

*Queen and David Bowie, Under Pressure

I Follow Where My Mind Goes*

Today I wear all black. Today is gloomy and dark and excessive water drops from the sky. Tomorrow I march for everyone that won’t or can’t. I’m pleased to see so many of my friends will be there with me, whether here in San Diego or in other cities or just in their heads.

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The start of a new drawing for the next quilt. I have to think about keeping it small…although my deadlines have changed all of a sudden. I was drawing because I couldn’t get any further on the current project…

I started ironing the hair and head…

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Got it all done…

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Then the heads above…

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In a cloud…

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Then I realized I’d miscalculated how much fabric I would need for the background. This fucker is huge. So I need to go shopping after school. Which sucks because I wanted to be done last night…oh well. It’s only 20 hours of ironing so far.

I stitched more on here…the pink flowers and (hard to see…bad lighting) the anchor stitches on the herringbone.

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Petting dogs makes them and you happy. Notice how he sticks his bone between the couch cushions to hold it? He’s a pretty smart puppy.

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Even Kitten ventured out to see what I was doing out of the studio.

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I drew after that. Needed to start the next drawing, at least some version of it. And that’s how I was feeling.

Opening today at the Erie Museum of Art is Earth Stories…this is my piece Wise Choice…

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This piece is about the choices Planned Parenthood provides to women around the world, mostly through the science of birth control, giving women control of their futures. There was some controversy about my picking this group in the beginning, but I would not change my mind and eventually got the support I needed to do a quilt about this group. The show opens today and continues through June 11.

On a lighter note, because I’m gonna need some of that today, here’s some of the science supplies that arrived the other day. It’s a good thing our principal doesn’t read the labels of what we’ve got in the lab…we’ll be opening a new craft beer brewery to support our science classroom costs sometime soon.

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Or not.

In other news, I have two pussy hats…one from a friend (which I’m going to give away today or tomorrow to someone who needs one) and one by my mom (which I’m wearing).

Yes. I considered wearing it to school. But my principal wants to avoid WWIII. So I’m ready. Peace out.

*Psychedelic Furs, Love My Way

Another Nail for My Heart*

Hello 2017…you came in half-assed and with a scary hug from a stranger in a sparkly bodysuit (weirder things have happened to me, honestly)…there are some things to look forward to this year, and some things that terrify me. I don’t have any resolutions that are new, just bolstering old ones. I didn’t pick a word for the year, but if I did, it would be loud and protesting and feminist and activist (not those words in particular, but some one word that incorporated all of that). I turn 50 this year, full-on cronedom here I am, ready and willing to kick ass. My doc brought it up for my next checkup, and I was like, yeah, yup, bring it, I’m here. I can do this. No fear. Stress? Sure. No fear.

Looking back at art in 2016, I made 11 things I consider art…10 quilts (although one is still not wall-ready) and 1 nightstand. There’s definitely some things they have in common: lots of dark blue, lots of staring-you-in-the-face…which makes sense. One commissioned piece, another already sold, although it’s touring for another two years. Five of them have been in shows already and one is committed to another show in Sweden. Not bad.

I had more quilts last year, but a lot of them were small. May 2017 bring more work! More sales would be nice too, but honestly, it’s not why I make it. I make it because I have to…because to stop listening to the artbrain would make me ill. And I want to be as healthy as I can be.

I ironed yesterday…I kept thinking I was close, real close, to ironing the body parts, but no. I’m not. I spent about 4 hours ironing and then got to the skeleton. Looked at the clock. Nope. No time to do all that in one go. Not before I had to be somewhere. So I stopped. Here’s some stove parts…not the rings themselves, but the silvery bits around them.

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I was ironing while watching the second season of The Man in the High Castle…too close for comfort, I think. Hard to watch.

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Here was the layout just for one of the two cats in the piece…

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I pick one thing and then choose all the fabrics for that one thing at a time. So next is the skeleton…which has quite a few parts…seen mostly below…

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With the box of already-ironed parts. I have almost 11 hours into the ironing so far. I wish I were further along. But I’m not.

I had a monster of a pile going, fabrics that I’d used so far. I keep them all together until the quilt is done…

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While I’m ironing, so I can reuse certain colors and patterns throughout the quilt, and after, in case I lose a piece, so I don’t have to go searching through my entire stash looking for that one grey I used in a tiny piece. I have learned some lessons over the years.

I did organize them before I left…not by color, but at least in boxes.

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See? Colors. Still a lot of greys though.

Then it was out for NYE. I’m with the band. I wasn’t really in the mood to be out with a bunch of strangers though, so mostly I watched…tapped my toes a bit. Sang along a little.

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And drew. This one…there’s a more complicated version in my head, but harking back to the nuclear bomb drills of the 80s. That shit is still in my head.

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And then a pre-drawing for the next piece in my solo show…not quite what I want, but it’s getting somewhere.

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And somewhere is all it has to go right now. I have some drawing I have to do in the next few days…I do have one week left before school, but it’s a crazy week. Lots to do in very little time. So panic sets in. As always. Nothing new there.

*Squeeze, Another Nail in My Heart

This Way Is a Waterslide Away from Me*

Late post for me. I started it earlier with finding and resizing photos, until we got the call to head out for miniature golf. Never got it written. Until now. Busy days.

So yesterday was a trip to the Wild Animal Park, which isn’t called that any more. Damn. What is it called? The San Diego Zoo Safari Park. You can see why I might need to look it up. I guess it’s been a while since I’ve been there.

This guy was cute…

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And rhinos are inordinately fascinating.

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Not nearly as fascinating as the freaks I’m related to, however, as you can clearly see.

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After dinner, I headed over to the drawing, again. Still. Although last night, I was pretty sure it was done…I’m not sure if it is or not right now, but I’m going to go spend 2 hours at the gym with my book and my out-of-shape muscles and see how I feel after that.

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She’s big. 49″ w by 84″ h. Or so. So I should get my act in gear and start numbering tonight…and then tracing my ass off. I’ve also done zero grading since school got out. So I need to get going on that. Maybe not starting tonight. Tomorrow? I still have errands to run, clean up to do around here, Christmas stuff to finish.

I did change out the fetus. He was too lumpy. The new one is much better. I just cut the other one out, inserted a piece of paper, and drew a new one.

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It happens. Little fetal reject there.

Anyway, the bro’s family is gone tonight, so there’s just mine to deal with from here on out. I can just about handle that, although I think it’s time to whip up a chore list. I need help. Always, eh? Yeah.

Y’all should make a mental guess on how many pieces are in this thing. I have one. I’m hoping I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure I’ll be right. Ish. Do it. Write it down somewhere. I’ll report tomorrow on the reality of my crazy. And remember, I did try to keep it simple. I did. Really. Well, as much as I ever do.

Finish numbering and start tracing tonight. Finish tracing by the weekend? Might happen. We’ll see.

*Weezer, Say It Ain’t So

Drive until You Lose the Road*

It’s vacation. Full of family and chaos and bad food…bad for you, not bad-tasting, unfortunately. Or fortunately, depending on whether you have to go to the doctor for a checkup this week (sigh). I’m managing to get some drawing done, though, although sometimes it’s like I’m pulling it out of my brain like a tapeworm. It keeps breaking and I have to stare at the blank spaces on the paper for 17 minutes until I get a piece of it back. Or like last night, just go to bed and after 10 minutes of tossing and turning and can’t get comfortable, all of a sudden it pops into my head and no way am I getting out of the warm bed to go draw that. I type a note to myself on the phone instead. I do still remember it this morning, but the note guarantees I’ll remember it.

So here’s how it went. I was standing around waiting for my brother and his kids to surface on Saturday, so I worked on the skeleton, after making the decision to continue it below her arm. It would have been weird if I didn’t.

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I was really just paranoid about a million rib bones. It turned out OK.

Then I added a tree with hands on the other side. I like trees. They’re in lots of my quilts. They usually have fruit of some kind…this one is a bit strange. I believe those are peaches…and hands.

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Adding feminist symbols throughout.

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Because that’s what should be graffiti on a stove.

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Still need something under that hand. Think it will be a cat. Not sure.

The boys and bro are finally free, so off to Balboa Park for a train museum, climbing, running, wrestling, and Pokemon Go.

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Saturday night was dinner and sleep, blessed sleep. Then Sunday morning, all the way up to the OC for the extended family party. Got my bro, his two boys, and my monsters all in one picture. A miracle.

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Girlchild is still working on the essay that is due today. One cousin is listening as they discuss politics and policymaking.

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Then came home and started to draw again. Winged death in the stove window…makes sense to me.

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Girlchild is still working, with puppy assistance.

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I keep drawing. Probably am going to cut out that baby, draw a new one, and tape it back in there. I think I decided that around 1 AM. Did not get up and DO IT at 1 AM.

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I’m still debating whether the bottom is finished at this point. The right side seems unfinished…

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So I add stuff. Honestly, I need to add one more thing, but I’m not sure what it is yet.

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It’s a cat. I keep thinking that so it must be that.

Finally I head to the…head. It’s been hard to consider the head, but it finally spoke to me (I stared at this space for quite a while).

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At the same time, the skull spoke.

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There they are together. The hair was an issue, but that’s what I went to sleep with…and it slammed into my brain during the toss-and-turn stage. My brain is like a salad. It needs tossing.

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So hopefully sometime tonight I’ll get that done. Girlchild is going a little crazy with the essay-writing…puppy likes pets.

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And another branch down. Sheesh. I can’t even see where it came from in the tree. But it’s a big one. More cleanup.

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Today is more cousin action, once we get out of here (getting there)…but the drawing. I think it will be finished today. I have Christmas stuff to do as well (not today!). I’m panicking slightly, but hopefully that will go away. I have a lot to do over break…I find I do better once all the Christmas stuff is under control. Ha! Whatever that means.

*The Fray, How to Save a Life

There You Go*

Today in a nutshell: rain, assembly, 12-year-olds, quiz, last day of school before break. Yeah. But we will survive it. We always do.

And three glorious three weeks of break with no kids and only 8 assignments to grade. I should have graded more this week. Oh well. (8 assignments, 7 of which will take an average of 2 hours to grade, so that’s 14 hours, plus the unit they’re handing in, which is probably 5 hours total, then inputting grades…guessing somewhere between 22-25 hours of work to do on vacation. OK. That’s unfortunately normal.)

I do have both kids back home, hallelujah, although girlchild’s flight was really late last night. There’s a lot more noise…and puppy is doing much better. He’s medicated and all signs do seem to point to some sort of muscle or back strain from doing too much puppyness. I think he’ll be fine in a few more days. As it is, he’s back to romping a bit, but not quite happy about jumping up and down on couches and such.

Insert cute picture of dogs that I’ve already used, because I don’t have any photos from yesterday.

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My drawing…I drew nothing last night. Too stressed and waiting for flight and exhausted. Even tried to nap for a short time, although that was kind of a failure. I would have liked to have the drawing done before tomorrow, but it’s not going to happen.

So the plan (because it always helps me to have a plan…damn, the right eyelid is twitching): Finish drawing this weekend. Number the damn thing. Sunday and Monday are pretty much lost days…so realistically, let’s say I’m done with those two tasks sometime Monday night (it could happen). Then tracing. It’s hard to estimate tracing time when you don’t know how many pieces are in it. It’s bigger than the last one. Maybe equivalent to summer’s piece. So about 20-25 hours of tracing. I should be able to have that done by next weekend. Then cutting, ironing to fabric the next week. Trimming and ironing together the following week? Is that possible? I think so. But it means this quilt isn’t even being quilted until school starts. Well. That’s probably gonna be how it goes. We’ll see. At least now I can sorta see the big picture.

Speaking of, I need to go to school now. Yeah. I’m not a praying person…so I’m gonna quick, build a shrine to the Teacher Goddess and offer her a burnt offering of a broken pencil, a homework pass, and a fuzzy peppermint from my pocket. That should do.

*STRFKR, Rawnald Gregory Erickson The Second

Getting Nothing but Static*

I swear yesterday felt like a Friday. Yeast lab was a disaster in 2nd period, but eventually we got it working (I think we say that for every lab involving yeast…you’d think we’d figure that shit out)…I spent most of the day teaching empathy and appropriate behavior more than cellular respiration and the effect of changing the reactants on the product. I’ll be reteaching both today, for sure.

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Certainly, I’ll be doing dishes at school today…and generally straightening stuff up…and trying to figure out why Splenda has more product than Sweet & Low. It was an exhausting day, followed by a long union meeting.

That said, I’m currently listening to the B-52s and it’s helping me wake up and find the energy to get through this day. In bed around 1 AM (I was drawing) and up at 6:30 (girlchild texting…plus that’s when I usually get up)…not enough sleep. Plus exposure to strep throat, so now I’m gonna be paranoid about any throat pain for the next 4 days. I’m basically laughing hysterically and throwing a big Fuck You to the universe mentally at the moment.

In other news, Simba seems better. His back is definitely bugging him, because he’s scared to jump off the couch, but he gave boychild a proper puppy greeting.

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Yes, one kid is home. The next one comes home today, as long as the plane takes off. She’s never been cancelled, like the boychild has. So it was kind of amazing that all his flights took off within an hour of the appointed time. I don’t remember the last time that happened.

My brain wasn’t ready to sleep last night, so I drew after boychild went to bed. I had this skeleton pop into my head yesterday morning, so I wanted to start that.

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I’m not sure if I’m going to continue all of it…I’m still debating that. I’m debating a lot of things on this drawing. Maybe tonight I’ll get to the head…I really should do that before I put the skull in there. I think.

I got the photos back on the quilt I just finished…totally forgot about that. This is Give Me Time…

Kathy Nida fiber artist

She’s the 11th piece of art this year for me, and probably the last big quilt of 2016. I have one smaller one to do, but the next big one probably won’t get done until early 2017. It’s 38″w x 70″ h…I seem to be doing more of these long skinny pieces lately.

Here’s the bird and sun that had to flip sides. In the original drawing, they are on opposite sides.

Kathy Nida fiber artist

It’s a quilt about time and how it affects us, all the ways time and increasing age weigh us down…mostly how bodies change and bad stuff that starts happening.

Kathy Nida fiber artist

I do most of my work from a fairly personal perspective, if not what’s actually going on with me, then what I’m worried about for myself or another person.

Kathy Nida fiber artist

Snakes show up pretty often in my work. Because they’re easy to draw. No, not really. I just like how they fit into spaces and have all these crazy colors. Plus they’re biologically interesting. We’re terrified of them, but they’re fascinating. They imply some tension between good and evil. All these things attributed to this long skinny worm thing.

Kathy Nida fiber artist

Plus they’re pretty damn efficient…unlike how I feel at the moment.

Anyway. I’ll have to write up a full statement at some point. Not there yet. I did finish it in time for the entry I needed it for…with a day or two to spare. Something to note…I was way more efficient in working on it when I was teaching than when I wasn’t. I should keep that in mind for the next three weeks. Try to be efficient when I can.

Which probably starts by going to school today and getting shit cleaned up for the break, since they’ll be doing our floors…so everything has to be cleaned and put away. Yeah. That’s funny.

*The B-52s, Channel Z