Our Way Is Darkest Night*

Well. In case you were wondering, making an anti-gun quilt doesn’t stop people shooting other people. And neither does voting in politicians who make stronger gun laws, because my state, although it has many positive qualities, cannot stop other states from selling angry white men more guns. And it cannot stop those men from coming back to our state, because we don’t believe walls are the solution…we believe government should be the solution, government should protect us from AK-47s…my state can’t stop men bringing those guns back to our state and killing innocent people enjoying themselves at a garlic festival. I will continue to be angry at those who perpetuate the gun sales (this gun is not necessary to anyone) and the hatred toward other and the anger and the illogical science behind white supremacy. How is a 19-year-old so angry that this makes sense? Killing a child? I’m sad. I’m frustrated.

Sigh.

I also have a massive headache because I had to fast this morning for a medical test and I just got some water and tea and food in me, and my body is still trying to decide if that’s enough. It’s not. More of all of those things.

I’ve been gone from the computer for a couple of days. I’m trying to manage all the things. Ha! There are too many things. Always. The copyediting project came in yesterday, so I will start dealing with that today. It’s a whole ‘nother mind set. The to-do list has spilled over into multiple days on my calendar now, so that’s an issue.

Sunday, I had an art meeting, so I will have pictures from that (also means I need to write a blogpost or two for them. One today. One next week. It’s on my calendar now.). I didn’t get much art done Saturday…I painted ceramics (crap, I need a photo of that) and went to the man’s show. Sunday, I only got this done…

Last night, I only got 5 more letters done. I’ll get there. It’s not hard. I just don’t have a lot of time right now.

Yesterday, I was at the EdInnovateLive2019 conference here in San Diego. This is Sir Ken Robinson, of TedTalk fame. He was funny…and right on.

There were some interesting speakers here, but it was a lot more sitting than I like. I missed today’s lectures for the medical stuff. The conference was at University of San Diego…and it was a beautiful day.

It’s a nice school. Although religious and freakin’ expensive.

I started drawing this somewhere…Palm Springs? Worked on it at one of the wineries we toured, and finished it in one of the lectures yesterday.

Want to color it? Join my Patreon. I need to scan it and clean it up, and then send it off to my Patreon peoples…

Calli last night…waiting for me to solve the problem of firecrackers. I cannot do this baby girl.

I finally finished cutting all these pieces out…

It took 7 hours to cut them all…

And another 41 minutes to sort them…

It was worth staying up a little late for that.

OK, now I’m ready to start ironing. Well. Except the studio is a mess. I have a pile of fabrics to put away. I have to think about guns and white boys and anger and abortion rights and trauma-based instruction (that’s the copyediting) and the beginning of the school year and getting new students. Then I can iron.

*Led Zeppelin, Bron-Y-Aur Stomp

A Few Moments…

Oh my Saturday. A day off? I think that means I don’t need to run any errands today. Because the last two days have kicked my errand-running ass. Really, trying to drive all over town in stupid traffic with stupid people cutting me off or refusing to let me get over from an only lane or not letting me out of my parking space (like really? MOVE…) is not a fun way to spend a day…or two. The plus is that a bunch of stuff is done and out of my hair and some things I actually did EARLY for once in a million years. I still have 4 bags of books that need to make it to library bookshops (why do they make it such a pain in the ass?). But I can do that. AND I got Speculoos cookies from Trader Joe’s (which I really don’t need…but whatever…). NO ERRAND DAY. Actually, today is kinda squishy packed anyway, but with sociable stuff. And dancing. With strangers. Because that’s how I roll.

So one thing I did yesterday was to check out this gallery where I’ll be entering work in September. I should have checked it when I was in Liberty Station last week, but that slipped my mind. And ironically, I’ll be there again today. So I didn’t need to go yesterday, but apparently my brain didn’t know that. Fucker.

Having seen the space, I’m feeling much better about hanging my work there.

I did a return shopping thing, smiled at Greenpeace kids, shipped two things out in a post office I didn’t even know existed, and checked out another library space for quilt meetings (they didn’t have one), plus got rid of some kid books in a responsible manner. I also did a little shopping for food…yet another potluck on my schedule. I think I solved it. Unfortunately, I did have some stressful annoying irritating moments while doing all that. Like seriously, why are people so stupid in parking lots? I just don’t understand it.

True story. It was good. I don’t remember the lyrics any more though, so no fame and fortune for me. Screaming did help.

When I got done with all that, I felt like I owed myself a moment. A few moments. Sitting on the deck with the dogs while talking to the girlchild on the phone and trying to draw.

All the sticks and bits of sticks on the the deck are totally and completely Calli’s fault. I need to sweep again.

Watching the hummingbirds race around…this isn’t a final drawing. It’s a drawing toward an idea.

We’ll see where it goes.

I spent some afternoon time prepping the dinner parts so I could take the little dog out for a short walk. The old lady is still having issues and the boychild isn’t feeling well, so it was just me and the little asshole. Nice plant.

Could be thistle. Could be artichoke? Nah, thistle.

This path goes by houses for a good chunk of it. It’s not my favorite walk, but it’s good for a hot day and a short time period. I didn’t leave until 6 PM, because it was too damn hot…and I still had to make dinner.

Nice bits of shade.

Non native.

Side eye from the puppy about this project…

My words keep getting bigger. I might fix that. I might not. Adjust. Not tear out and redo.

I wanted to cut more out yesterday, but life. You know. It does what it does.

I did spend a few hours cutting though.

See? I tired him out.

I am so not ready for school. I’m not supposed to think about it until August 1. I’m failing at that.

Think quilt! I wanna make this quilt. I like it.

So I finished cutting 3 yards, one to go. I’m going to work on it today and hopefully get done, but I’m hanging with a friend doing something else for a few hours, then the man’s band plays tonight. Tomorrow I have a meeting midday, so that will affect my time. I am hoping that I have a big enough piece of background fabric to do this…I should figure that out before I head out, since the fabric store is near where I’ll be picking up my friend. Because I want to be ironing to fabric tomorrow sometime.

But first, shower, food, hopefully cut some stuff out before I need to leave.

A Lot of Artsy Things…

I was gone for a few days. There was some chance I could have written a post yesterday or Saturday, but mostly I was tired, so I didn’t. I did do a lot of artsy things in the last three days though.

I finished the papercutting/embroidery class with Bhavna Mehta on Friday…and made a house. Each of us picked a body part for our house. I picked the vulva because multiple people picked uteri. This is the back of the house…I drew on the back and shaded what would get cut. To embroider, you need to make the holes where the stitches will go.

You also have to think about whether stitches will cross your cut area…that would be bad.

Also it seems to work better if you do all the embroidery before you cut. On one of my practice pieces, I tore the paper because I was trying to embroider after I had cut. I’m sure with practice, this gets easier.

I was going to make another layer of hair for this section, but we were running out of time…so I cut instead.

Then the next part is to make the house itself. I also made sperm and an egg to hang from the roof inside the house…

The building was pretty easy. And then we put them into a little body part village…

A uterus, an ear, a heart, a ribcage.

A side view of mine with the sperm and egg floating around in there.

A couple people didn’t finish…I was looking at this as a practice piece.

A couple of feet, an eyeball in the back, a better view of the heart…

I have a few ideas of what I could do in paper and embroidery, but I think they would be a lot like my teacher’s work, and not necessarily mine. I’ll think about it.

It was a fun class anyway. No matter what I do with it.

When we got home, I had planned a birthday trip for the man…up to Temecula Wine Country. We stayed in an RV…and I stitched in the morning.

I don’t know if we’ll ever stay in an RV again. But it was a quiet and relaxing morning…

Until we headed to the first winery…

I signed up for a Groupon tour that would drive us around. We were a large group of 24 people. We went to three wineries: Maurice Carrie, Longshadow Ranch, and Oak Mountain (the Cave). They were all nice enough. It was a warm day, though, and shade was often inside…

Although we did find a table in the shade here…

I drew a little. These wineries are big money for this area. And there are tons of them.

We had a good time. And a long nap afterwards. Then we headed out to Old Town Temecula for dinner.

Harvest is in August…

We’d been talking about doing this for a while, so it’s a good thing we finally did (note to self. Who plans shit? I plan shit.).

Sunday, I had an art meeting to come back for…so we came back kind of early (damn roosters). The man was done with trying to live in an RV (yeah). At the meeting, we had planned to start our version/contribution to the Tiny Pricks project…I had a few pieces, but couldn’t pick a short piece of text. Then one of the leaders asked me if I’d do this one…

Aack. Well, the big piece of text will fit on it. But I need to put it on a backing. Somehow. So you can see all the stuff. So I brought it home. The interior stretches…the edging does not. I’m trying to decide how to do this. Dark background, then bright text? Or gray background, black text? Not sure. I found it kind of overwhelming last night with not enough sleep in the last…well…ten days. Let’s be real. It was a very busy ten days. So I’ll try to make a decision on that today. Not sure how I’m going to transfer the text…

With all that in my head, I worked on this a little more.

She’s close to done. Then I need to wash this one and the last one, plus design and stitch one more.

Plus finish a quilt and copyedit an entire book. Uh huh. I worked on a public video I’m doing for my Patreon…and then started the private video for my patrons…

Kitten was glad to have me home again.

And then I started the tracing on the next quilt.

I don’t have much time for this. So I’m trying to be efficient and on task. Ha! Well. We can always try. Busy weekend. Honestly, they’re all like that this summer. It feels like there’s no down time. Oh well. I overscheduled myself.

Permission…

‘Twas a busy day yesterday. This notion of giving permission for creative exploration and play…it should be much more prevalent than it is. I realize I rarely do this…give myself time to learn something new creatively. I have to do it all the time for school, even when I’m not interested at all, but I don’t put time in my schedule for my own creativity. Now some of you are going, Nida, you draw/quilt/art all the time. WTF are you talking about? I do make art all the time, but so often I am drawing to a purpose or I’m in the process of making the quilt and there’s no PLAY. The process I use to make quilts is pretty controlled…fabric choice and the drawing are the most free, but even those are not stepping out of the boundaries of what I already know. And that stuff is hard to pop into the schedule.

Hence the paper/embroidery class I’m taking…it’s a way to play in a method I don’t usually use. It’s also in Liberty Station, which is a long and bitchy drive from my house. I’m pretty sure this woman and I have selfied before…

But that’s OK. She hasn’t changed. But it reminds me…I needed to send a headshot for something this week, and I hate those…but I like this one.

You should see the one I have in my prep room at school. Scares the crap out of any kid who sees it.

So I’m taking Paper, Thread, Story with Bhavna Mehta, who is an amazing paper and embroidery artist who I’ve known for a while…she’s in an art group with me. We started by embroidering on some postcards…recognize Georgia O’Keeffe?

Embroidering on paper takes more thought than embroidering on thread. You need holes. I messed around all day, basically…what could be better?

I just wanted to try a bunch of things. Here’s some of the samples…

Although there were a lot more later…ah yes, now we have a hand.

It’s funny…when I first started drawing stuff in ink, like my own stuff, in high school, I used a technique that looked like this, but the cut parts were black ink.

A day of play. In something I don’t usually do. OK, papercutting has never been my thing. It was fun, though. Today I go back and we’ll do a collaborative project. We are each picking a body part. Before you even ask, someone has already chosen the uterus. Sigh. OK. Well. I can do lots of things.

In the evening, I had my 2nd to last meeting with my friend who is moving. After some chaos, we found the Starbucks where SHE was, and I stitched.

I’m only doing one more of these for a pattern. So far. Trying to decide what to do. This one is getting closer to done.

The meeting was fine most of the time. Some weirdness from religious folks about people who don’t believe in God and how religious people could never harm anyone (um. OK. I really had to force myself NOT to say anything…but I knew I would never see that woman again so I was fine. Well, not fine because it’s still bugging me this morning.).

And I finished the drawing…this took about 5 1/2 hours.

It’s big. IDK how big. But big.

So I numbered it…

My goal was large and detailed, but not horribly so, because it needs to be finished soon enough and the copyediting job I knew was coming in August is actually coming early. Like this weekend.

So I have 100,000 words to copyedit, a quilt to finish, school to prep for, and all the to-do list to finish before the world ends. Hey. 727 pieces isn’t too bad.

I really like this quilt. I’m glad to be making it. If I don’t get it done in time, it will still be a great quilt.

And this…

Was in my wallet. I used it to buy tea. I did not go on YouTube.

OK, traffic is piling up as I type. Must leave. More later…although this weekend will be a challenge for that. We’ll see.

In Fragmented Bursts

Up early for a class. Mostly my brain is working, but in too many directions at once. For example, I’m typing this while waiting for breakfast to cook, and I’m remembering something I didn’t put in my bag, plus I don’t know if the boychild ate my goldfish, but I can’t find them (the cracker ones, guys, chillax), but if I’m going to remember to put that thing in my bag, I need to stand up right now and do that, but that’s exactly what they tell you NOT to do, because multitasking like that, in fragmented bursts, is really inefficient and you really don’t get as much done, so I’m going to try REALLY HARD to remember to put that thing in my bag when I get up to get my breakfast, which will happen when the timer dings. In preparation for the ding and the remembering, my shoulders just tightened up and I stopped breathing, which is also not good for relaxing or remembering or anything really except keeping you from sucking in water if you just jumped into a pool.

I packed everything for this class but food yesterday. And that one thing that needs to go in my bag. Honestly, I’ve sort of been packed since last week, except for bits and pieces. I always wish they’d explain why you need stuff in workshops. Like when you say “paper towels”, is that a whole roll? Is it just one that I’ll need to wipe my face at the end of a long day? Is it for glue? Is it because you’re going to give me treats? WTF is it for? There’s nothing in this class list that explains the use of paper towels. And if I pack them and I don’t use them, I’m gonna be irritated.

Anyway, I’m driving across town and if I left right now, I’d be more than an hour early, but it would only take 30 minutes to get there. As I get closer to the time it actually starts, it takes longer and longer to get there. Weird time dynamics. I am looking forward to a burst of non-project-related creativity though. I’m not looking forward to working creatively with people I don’t know (I know the teacher)…that gives me anxiety. But I will get over it and may even enjoy some of them. That’s my hope anyway.

So yesterday, we had no access to our road…it’s a private road, which just means we have to maintain it (aka pay for it) and it’s not even really two lanes wide, which is fine, because mostly then people stay off of it.

So my car had to be parked down the hill and around the corner, which is a bit of a hike…I did that yesterday morning to go get the dogs for their post-surgery checkups. Simba is fine, feisty as usual. Doesn’t like the vet. Doesn’t like big dogs. Calli is still a little rough in the walking arena, but that’s arthritis and not the surgery, and she got her stitches out! Yay! No more cone…

As long as we can keep her off this area…(innovative uses for old soccer socks)…

Girlchild was not thrilled that we cut up her sock for this, but I figure after 4 years, if a soccer sock was left here, it’s not one she really cares about.

The guys also did my driveway, which hasn’t been sealed in probably 10 years…I’ve been patching cracks, but so did they…

And then they swooped in with the sealant and made quick work of my behemoth of a driveway…

Which reminds me, to get out of here, I’m gonna have to hike all the way down the hill in about 10 minutes. Yikes!

The rest of the day was filled up with minutiae and tasks and clearing the to-do list best as possible, but never enough, dontcha know that’s how it always is.

I did manage some of this…

The browns are different…although they don’t photograph well at night for that…

I totally went and got my breakfast because the timer dinged and I did not put the thing in the bag. SEE! See how much brain power I’m wasting on it right now. Sigh.

And then I drew on the Yin side for about an hour…getting closer to done. Maybe tonight?

I did actually plan to be done last night, but sometimes shit happens and you don’t get shit done. Welcome to my life.

OK, gotta get my butt in gear and get out of here…now the maps app is telling me 32 minutes, but the yellow areas are creeping up…hate traffic. Wish me luck. Wish me art.

Like a Climate-Change-Induced Tornado…

I’m home. Palm Springs was tiring and hot, and my brain is full of ideas (as always), but also frustrated by the limitations caused by being a public school. Like I would be the radical alter of Betsy de Vos if I could and upend the entire standardized testing system, but I know someone like me would never get to that position. And my dad told me to work within the system to change it, so that’s what I keep trying to do. Surprisingly, I think my superintendent and I agree on that, the part about getting rid of standardized tests. So it’ll be interesting to see where things go…especially after these conversations about not teaching all the standards (I’m like, dude, no teacher I know makes it through all the standards…it’s fucking impossible). Anyway. I’m not getting much of a break on teacher brain this summer, that’s for sure. It’s whirling around in my head like a climate-change-induced tornado. One more conference before school starts…it will be local, thank god.

Today is a catchup day, get everything I can checked off the list before I relax (ha!) into two days of art classes that were my gift to myself for the summer. I need to pack up my stuff for that as well, and make sure I have food…because it’s an all-day thing on the other side of town. Ah traffic. You are not my friend.

Days like today feel overwhelming. I have to remember that I need to finish one task before going on to the next one. Multi-tasking is not always your friend. I got up early to sweep the driveway again because they’re resealing the whole private road I live on, including my driveway, and the ficus tree had dropped tiny balls all over the place since the boychild swept it on Monday. As I was sweeping and the balls were flipping sideways and backwards all over the place, and I was thinking, 45 minutes isn’t going to be enough time to sweep the whole damn driveway, the guy in charge comes up and says, “Hey. Don’t worry. We have blowers. They’ll do it in like 5 minutes flat.” I may have told him I loved him. It’s all good. On to the next task.

While I was in Palm Springs, exercising the teacher brain, I drew a little bit…I actually started this some other day, I don’t even remember when. I went back to my room for 30 minutes between sessions to make tea, but I often feel anxious when I’m just waiting for things to happen. Staring at the phone and apps is a common way to deal with that, but it often creates more anxiety than not, so drawing really is a better way to occupy my brain. I sat there for 20 minutes or so, tea steeping, and drew some more…so here’s before…

And after (can you tell hot flashes have been prominent?)…

Nah. She’s not done. But I really should work on waiting with a sketchbook instead of waiting with a phone.

Honestly, there wasn’t a lot of alone down time at the conference…this statue of Zeus (?) on the way back from a happy hour with my co-workers…

The shuttle driver gave us a quick tour of houses owned by people…but mostly this is what Palm Springs is…

Very flat. Big mountains. Hot as hell. Palm trees everywhere.

This was an awkward bad-design moment…the bathrooms…you could see the person next to you through the toilet-paper dispensers.

Very awkward. I don’t know who thought that was a good plan.

We left Tuesday a little early, kinda done with the brain part, and my new driver was just as awesome as the first one…I still stitched. (My original driver stayed an extra night.)

I didn’t get very far…I did more when I got home…although this guy wasn’t helping.

Ah…stitching…

Another thing that relaxes me. This will be the 8th pattern for Global Artisans…

It was nice to come back to drawing…I really am trying to keep this relatively simple (I could put a LOT more detail in, trust me)…but I think I’ve finished the one side…the yang.

On to finishing the Yin tonight, I hope. It’s got a pretty good start.

I was on Etsy the other day because they’re changing their shipping policies in kind of a weird way and I had to deal with it…and this popped up.

You know, I never actually search for anything that specific on Etsy…interesting. I was thinking of putting the embroidery pieces on here. I guess that could still happen, but I have to think about how to finish them then. And increase the prices to cover that and shipping…makes them kind of unaffordable, I think.

Anyway. Back to today. I’m going to need more tea.

You’re So Funny and I Kinda Like Your Band*

Happy Pride y’all! San Diego has two cool things every summer: ComicCon and the Pride parade. And I’m going to neither of them. Ah well. Enjoy if you’re there…

There’s something about the routine of school that keeps me more on task. I guess it’s because my available time is so short…and there are a lot of things that I just let fall by the wayside during the school year. I rescheduled one of today’s events, which is good, because I might just get most of what I NEED to get done before I leave for Palm Springs tomorrow…there’s things that have been on the to-do list all week that still won’t be done, but I can’t help that. It is what it is. I’m not packed for the trip, and the food is an issue, that and the temperatures. Ugh. Hot. I am ready and packed for my class next Thursday and Friday though…priorities! It’s an art class and I’m really looking forward to it. I don’t often take classes any more. This is my summer treat.

Anyway, before that, I need to get my teacher ass (and brain) to Palm Springs with appropriately casual and cool (temperature) clothing. More importantly, I need enough stitching for the the drive up and back. Seriously. That’s important.

Yesterday was busy, but productive. I’m trying to figure out my retirement…yes, it’s at least 10 years out, but I have bits and pieces of funds and plans all over the place from being self-employed, privately employed by multiple companies, and publicly employed. Talk about chaos. I just want to know if I will be able to afford to retire…like ever. So I’m working on that. Yesterday was the first step in getting that managed.

We walked the little dog…the big dog is still not physically up for that. It’s possible that she thinks she up for it, but that back leg is still not in compliance. It was pretty hot yesterday, so the boychild picked a location I hadn’t been to before, but that has a significant amount of shade. It’s good that it did, because the heat kicked my ass at one point.

I haven’t drawn the superhot hot flash woman yet. Maybe while I’m sitting in a hotel room at night? Who knows.

So this is Oakoasis County Preserve, which isn’t far from here and isn’t a long hike, around 2 1/2 miles, but that’s a good dog distance, especially when it’s hot.

There are still lots of flowers…

But things are definitely drying out. And there were bees buzzing so loudly it sounded dangerous…

The Cedar Fire came through here, so the brush is about 16 years old…

But the oaks for which it’s named are still standing…ah shade! It’s about 15 degrees cooler under there than out in the sun.

And fungus!

I’m fascinated by these…

The shapes and colors, plus their ability to grow on something that is dead in the full heat of East County.

Nature is so cool. That’s why I keep drawing it.

Some parts of the trail obviously have more access to water than others…

This tree is dead now, but forced itself out of the center of that rock…

Science!

We went in the late afternoon…there’s a peek of San Vicente Reservoir…

Nice to see water when it’s so hot out.

We haven’t been hiking…dogs recovering from surgery, plus hot, plus chaos. Next week is the worst for that (chaos) this summer…but on the 22nd, I think it all mellows out. A bit. So hopefully we’ll find some cooler weather and hike a bit more.

Nice meadows…

And flowers…

And more fascinating fungi…pretty sure the one below is a gall…so pretty though.

The boychild had seen California Horned Toads here a few weeks back, but we didn’t see any. They are funky little beasts.

So yeah, a short hike for the two of us who don’t like heat. We left this old lady behind.

She’s still searching out the best stick for throwing purposes. Even though none of us will throw anything for her at the moment.

Both of them want outside…

The two oldest in the house, I think…although a tie with Kitten, who’s turning 11 next month.

We got a lot of boxes yesterday…just for Satch.

He appreciates them…

I did eventually let the dogs out (I won’t babysit the cat outside…his daddy can do that) so I could try to draw the next embroidery pattern…I need something to stitch in the car.

Although it was warm out, the sun is not on the deck in the afternoon and it’s usually much cooler. There’s a breeze.

No. We won’t throw you a stick.

There’s a fire down on the border and we watched this helicopter transport water down there a few times…

The fire is 40% contained so far…mostly it’s on the Mexican side of the border. Good thing there isn’t a wall that would stop people from fighting the fire. Well, there might be in this part of the country. Walls don’t stop fires. People do. And defensible spaces. Anyway.

We came back and I did some of this during dinner. The never-ending embroidery.

It really is relaxing to stitch…I just know I need to get 6 done this summer, and I’m three weeks in and haven’t even finished one. Sigh.

So then I worked on that drawing again…

I added a snake and some other stuff later. I’m not sure I want everything I added though. So there might be some editing before I scan it for the pattern. Basically I’ll need to decide that today. I’m also going to add an embroidery page to my website so you can see them all. The patterns and kits with the threads I used are available on Global Artisans. Of the finished embroideries, one has sold and one is traveling with Global Artisans…the rest are available. They’re not cheap though…embroidery takes time.

It was late when I started working on the drawing for the next quilt. This is about 49″ square…

I wanted the bodies penciled in before I started in ink. I often just draw in ink with no pencil, but this is big and fussy enough that I wanted to be sure the main figures worked before I inked anything.

I added some ink last night, before realizing how late it was.

Oh yeah. Bedtime. Ugh. Too late. Animals don’t understand sleeping in. I think it’s because they just sleep when they want to…

Too bad really. I don’t know how much of this I’ll get done before I leave tomorrow, but hopefully some. I already have a post-it note with a list for today. I should get going on all that. Food, mop, pack, draw, computer stuff…

*The Fratellis, Stacie Anne

That’s on Me…

OK, business stuff. First of all, I loaded three more quilt photos on Society 6 here…if there’s something you see on my Gallery or Recent Work page that you want on a poster or a cutting board (really?), let me know. I’ll see if I have the right resolution photo for it. There’s also a link in my sidebar to Society 6 (or you can just search for my name). Wall art is 30% off until midnight tonight and I think your first order is also 20-30% off, if you’ve never used Society6. Just to be straight up, I don’t make a lot of money on the stuff on there, but it is a cheap and easy way for y’all to be able to own my work without being fabulously wealthy. I’m OK with that. When you win the lottery, you can come back and buy the original. You can tell your rich friends to go buy one. Seriously, I just had a phone conversation with a financial planner about my future retirement plans, and I’m panicking (it will be FIIINNNEEE).

Second, I’ve had a couple of commission requests in the last few days. I do commissions, usually small ones, and I’m usually pretty up front with the fact that I’m not cheap. I can’t be. My time is worth something, whether I’m copyediting, teaching, going to conferences (yes, I’m getting paid for some of my time there), or making art. I’m going to respect that and charge for my time. So if you came to me and said, “Hey I’d like one of your quilts, about this size, with these kinds of things in it, and I have this much money”, I’d suggest you go look at my Gallery and Recent Work pages, because sizes and prices are on there. I keep track of my time using an app, so even if a quilt is small, if it’s super complicated with a lot of pieces, it won’t be cheap. This one, And Then There Was One, is smallish…only 16 x 24″, and it’s priced at $2760 because it has 819 pieces and took over 56 hours to make…

Fussy stuff. It was not a commission. But this one was…

It’s only 8×10″ and was a simplified detail from my Mammogram quilt…

Which is 39“ w x 52“ h and $2900…relatively big, but not a whole lot of pieces.

If you’re still interested in a commission, know that my schedule is tight on a good month…right now, I’m running out into November sometime I think. Maybe longer. So I’d put you on the schedule, and then I’d do a drawing for you, usually for a drawing fee. That kind of depends on whether we have a past working relationship…some of my commission people are repeat users. I trust them to pay me. They trust me to hit the range they asked for. The drawing fee is just because once I’ve done that, you might decide, nah, I don’t wanna do this, and I don’t want to be out my time.

If you’re OK with the drawing (and I’ve edited before at that stage for the client), then I will start on the piece, usually with 50% down payment on the estimated total (includes the drawing fee; also depends on previous working relationship). I make the quilt, finish it so you can hang it, and then send it to you. You have a period of time to decide whether you really want it or not. If you don’t, you send it back, and we’re done. I’m partially paid for my time, you didn’t have to pay for all of it, I still own the quilt and can do something with it…maybe…depending on what it is. It is a bit of a risk for both of us, but that’s the wonder of commissions. If you like it, you pay me off and hang the quilt on your wall. Fini! Anyway, feel free to ask me about commissions. I’ve done a few that are pieces of larger quilts…one owl that someone really liked (actually all of my bird quilts are from larger quilts and can be remade) and then that part of the Mammogram quilt.

All that affects my ability to make my own art quilts, so that’s what I’m working on next. I’m debating how to handle it. There’s a show I was planning on entering that has one theme, but I could subvert it to this other theme in my head, but I probably wouldn’t get in. Probably wouldn’t get in anyway, just because I’d already changed it up and away from probably what the juror/curator are thinking. And I want to work with the ideas anyway. So let’s do it! I had started a drawing last week that I really didn’t like, but it was a way to play with the ideas…so last night, I taped big paper together (dangerous…I usually draw too detailed full size and that’s why it’s better to draw it smaller in the sketchbook and then enlarge it) and started sketching stuff out.

So the original unliked drawing is on the left, the larger paper and the revised drawing on the right (they don’t have a lot in common), and then my journal with all the words I had floating around when I was trying to think about all the ideas I wanted to corral in this space. It’s a start. I’ll hopefully work on it tonight some more. I’m gone a good chunk of next week, but if I’m going to get a quilt done by the end of the August, I need to get a significant bit of it done in the next month…before school rears its ugly head. Plus I have a copyediting job coming up.

Meanwhile I’m financial planning and trying to refi the house plus dealing with a road redo and dogs and appointments and all that. I don’t feel relaxed. Nope.

That’s on me.

Dogs. Stitches out Wednesday, then we can bathe her. She’s doing OK, but is definitely recovering slowly. He’s fine. Just a dick.

Well, we’re trying to keep him from licking his leg. She’s not licking anything, so she gets to be cone-free. Ironic, because he has no stitches and she has two batches of them plus shaved legs and side.

This thing is taking so long! I spent another 2 hours last night and did NOT run out of the blue (oh yes, I almost did)…I’m always closer to done but not actually done.

I’ll be stuck in a car for 2+ hours on Sunday and again on Tuesday. Please let it be done. Please let me get a couple more drawn before I leave. I rescheduled one of tomorrow’s events and I’m blowing off one tonight. I need time to get stuff done.

See my neighbor? He’s kind of a dick too.

But cute. Didn’t seem to care that I was out there. He wanted a drink of water. OK cool. You do you.

Today has gone by very quickly. We’re going to walk one of the dogs later, when it cools down a bit. I’m unapologetically ordering pizza for dinner. Cannot deal. I’m going to do some computer stuff that needs doing, try to draw for embroidery, and hopefully get some of the big drawing done. I should probably look at that hellacious to-do list as well. Damn thing. Rules my life.

Again. That’s on me. I can admit it. I can’t fix it.

Stupid Machines

I’m so busy lately that I haven’t been writing regularly. Plus I’m getting on average about 2 more hours of sleep a night. I should stockpile those for the school year. I’m a slow mover in the morning on a good day. During the summer, I hit molasses mode. This is not a good thing for next week, when I have a conference with 7 AM meetings (do they hate me?) and a class that starts at 9 AM but on the other side of town (ah morning traffic woes). It’ll be fine. I’ll survive both. With caffeine.

This week has a bunch of stuff going on too…trying to get all those silly annual or semi-annual appointments out of the way. Check my teeth, cut my hairs, squash my boobs.

Anyway, Saturday’s axe-throwing event was successful…

No one lost a limb or even a finger. And we all enjoyed it.

Calli made it back from the vet. X-rays showed nothing. We’re assuming it’s more arthritic stuff, so she’s on even more meds, including anti-nausea pills because she wasn’t eating.

This morning, she ate most of a bowl of dog food, but mostly out of our hands. Blech to the dog saliva, but if it gets her to eat, OK. She’s on a lot of sedatives and pain meds, but she is walking better in the last two days. She will put some weight on the back leg, so that’s promising. She’s done this before with a front leg, but she seems less stable losing a back leg. The reality is that she’s getting old, and moving is not as easy as it used to be. Hopefully we’ll continue to see improvement this week. Because it sucks. Simba is confused about why Calli gets to eat anywhere in the house. He’ll survive. He’s young.

We have bunnies at my house. Here’s one who was not scared when I opened the window…

I don’t think I’ve ever put a bunny in a quilt. Maybe now is the time.

Speaking of quilts…well, hang on. Yesterday, my school team met at the beach for a BBQ/hang out/team-building session that went pretty well…certainly there was enough food for all.

Egret…

That’s a bird I have put in a quilt. Unless it was a heron. It might have been a heron. See, even after my science co-teacher explained the difference, I still can’t remember.

I stitched for a while. It’s relaxing.

More progress on her…but it’s slow. I need to draw a couple more this week so I can take them to the conference and stitch them. I’ll have to decide whether to make them on dark or light. Maybe I should do a gray. Hmmm. I don’t have gray fabric. Do I need an excuse to buy fabric? Well, I will still need a binding fabric sometime…although so here’s the deal. I came home from the BBQ and exercised and tried to get my to-do list organized, and then I was going to quilt. But then my machine really was being an asshole…seriously, I checked all the settings, but the feed dogs won’t stay down. I can quilt in a straight line, but when I try to free-motion, the thread keeps breaking because the tension is wrong. It did this once before, like a year ago…and it was just in for its annual cleaning, so I’m a bit annoyed. I’ll call the machine guy in a bit, once I’m awake and showered…

So because I’m persistent (really, I am), I pulled the old machine out. It should work, if I can figure out how to thread it (it’s been a while). But then I can’t find the power cord. Seriously? Was that the cord that was lying around the office and I finally (I think) threw it out? Fuck me. Seriously. The boychild had a cord, but we aren’t sure it’s ideal…but I tried it…

My old 1+ quilts quite nicely…until the needle freezes. And then breaks the thread…

It only did that 5 times before I quit. So I don’t know if that’s related to using a cord not made for this machine, or if it’s something wrong with the machine. My plan? Call about getting the other one fixed, sooner rather than later (he’s usually booked like 6 weeks out, but this is an emergency and sometimes he’ll do those), ask about getting a new cord for the old machine, then see if it still has the needle stoppage problem, and maybe fix that too. More things on the to-do list. AND…it meant I couldn’t quilt last night for very long. Which was very frustrating. I need to get this one done.

Anyway, so I didn’t have a choice. I finally sat down with my sketchbook and did something as a start for the next deadline…

It’s not great…but it’s a start. I can do something with this. I’ll probably draw the other side and then redraw it better. I don’t like the hair and head. Or more. I don’t know. It’s too much like the Bill Nye quilt too. I need to do some brainstorming with words before I do this again. I just didn’t have the brain space last night. I was expecting to be meditatively quilting…not wracking my brain for ideas. Stupid machines. Plus when I haven’t drawn for a while, I need to do more to get loose. Let it flow.

Simba agrees. He’s sitting on the couch next to me while I’m on the stationary bike…

It was the closest he could get to me. Poor baby. Not enough attention.

OK, shower, call sewing machine fixit guy, it’s the man’s birthday, so we’re going on a boat and doing stuff. I need dog and cat food too. Busy day. AGAIN. Stop and brainstorm for the the drawing, because it looks like I might be doing that tonight instead of quilting. Sigh. It’s fine. I just was on a roll. I don’t like starting new pieces while I’m still finishing the old one. And I need to post my Patreon video! Oh yeah. Go do that.

Brain on break. Messy thing.

The Pieces Don’t Fit Together So Good*

I missed writing yesterday. It was a busy day. I did a lot of things. I forgot about normal routines. Food included. Eh. Not the best plan. I’m going to do better today, I hope.

On Thursday, I drew this during the talking time…

It wasn’t that I wasn’t listening or contributing…this shit helps me think. This is small, by the way, and could never be a quilt. Seriously. That would be crazy.

The boychild picked me up from school and we saw this on the way home.

I’m disturbed that this exists.

This guy was waiting for us as we walked down the driveway. Lots of hawks around here…

We got out a little early, and the dogs wanted a walk.

So did I. It was hot. We need a better way to water the dogs on a walk. Although they might not drink anyway. Lots of ticks collected on this walk. Sigh.

I can’t explain this. But it was on the walk.

Name of my next quilt…

So that was Thursday…and I didn’t get a lot done that night (tired)…Satchemo got some sleep in…

Look at that face. So cute when he’s not snorting snot everywhere. I did get some stuff cut out on Thursday…

I’m not really doing any of this during the day. Not by choice…just other stuff seems to suck up my time.

On Friday, there was some shopping, some planting, lots of computer crap, some job-hunting (not mine), some dinner prep…

My plan was to cut out all the pieces of the quilt after dinner until I was done, but then we watched the 6th episode of The Handmaid’s Tale and I couldn’t get the covered mouth thing out of my head. I tried. I started cutting. And then I got up and got the sketchbook.

The left side is nature OK; the right side is nature not OK, which is what was causing the issues in why people couldn’t have babies. So I kind of worked with that. I can’t explain the hand cut off…like the bodies weren’t allowed to be whole. I was really disturbed by the silent handmaids…and we don’t know yet if that was a choice. And how the hell do they eat? Who knows.

There was a sleepy dog…

So this was about 45 minutes. And then I started cutting again…but not done.

I still need to cut out all the stuff on the right. So that’s today, I guess. It’s funny…I made this long list of stuff to do yesterday and got hardly any of it done. Frustrating. Hopefully today will be better. I’ve got stuff to do tonight, but the whole day is free…although there’s cleaning that needs doing too. Sigh. OK. Food, shower, organizing my brain, then art. I have a whole ‘nother drawing I need to do as well. One week of summer break is gone. It feels scary to have lost a week. OK, not lost…just gone. It’s OK. I’m still tired, my cold came back to bug me, I need more rest, that’s for sure. Maybe that should be my goal for the weekend? Huh. Maybe. I think I’ll feel better if I can cross off a chunk of things off that list. I’m sure there’s something wrong with that idea, but it makes me feel better. I’ll meditate later!

*Amanda Palmer, Astronaut: A Short History of Nearly Nothing