Earth Is in Retrograde

OK, maybe just the US. Maybe the rest of you are okey dokey. If so, send snacks…and help.

I don ‘t feel ready for the day. It’s too early. There are too many meetings. I wrote 7 emails in Spanish yesterday. I talked to a kid using Google Translate. Imma do that today with another kid, if she actually shows up. Sigh. When I care more about a kid promoting to high school than their parents do…then I know their parents have way more on their plates than I do, and that’s saying something. School is a challenge. It’s always a challenge. It’s hard because we’re redoing a unit for the fourth time (for me), and we’re using ChatGPT, but (1) it uses natural resources, which bugs me, and (2) it’s not particularly smart or helpful sometimes.

Sigh. I know it. And I guess I’m not using it to write this (as if you couldn’t tell…I ramble worse than a baby lamb). My school district is really pushing it. At some point, maybe with a different government in place, there will be limits…but not for a while. Not until the damage is done.

Time is difficult too. I had a meeting before and after school yesterday, and before I went to the afterschool one, I drove out into this…

Which could have been way worse (I was on the freeway that isn’t all yellow and red). And after that, I went to an opening at Hyde Gallery, which was cool. More about that later this week. Pro: the quilt is being photographed and I did the other things. I even came back (and collapsed for about 30 minutes) and got work done. I sort of set up a worksheet I need for next Tuesday (sheesh) and then started grading stuff. Always behind on that. Significantly so at the moment. That said, building roller coasters has been relatively good, except for some minor stupidity (ah, middle-school boys…operating without a frontal lobe). I got a little grading done even, which rarely happens (and won’t today, I suspect).

Ceramics update: I went on Monday, despite the two-hour staff meeting before it, and amazingly, the woman in charge was there and all the kilns were empty, and the upper torso had NOTHING BROKEN (OMG, this never happens), so it must have been fate, so we loaded it in.

I also refired the base because it needed some refinement on the underglazes. Understand that it’s probably $75 of firing fees right there, but I don’t feel bad, because I haven’t fired anything since like March. I’ve been working on the upper torso since fucking January 8. It’s about time I fired the fucker. And it survived! IDK if there are cracks, but it came out of the kiln last night; I saw it in the video. So I might go see it tonight. Maybe. Then I have to make decisions about glazing it. I’m conflicted on that. So many of the underglazes go super dark, so I’d have to put something on them. But I might want to do some iron oxide as well? Not sure. Might have to sit on that decision for a while.

Meanwhile, the head is done and drying…

And in photos…

In case your video is annoying.

I did go a little weird on the head. And yes, I had to make a base and will fire it in the base. And then throw the base away. It’s OK; it’s reclaimed clay.

And then I worked on the very top bit, the tree on the top…

I wrapped it up with like 20 paper towels, hoping it would hold up as it dried, and not dry too fast.

Pain in the ass. Seriously. Why do I build this crazy shit? So this comes out the top of the head. Wish me luck.

In between that and packing up two quilts for the photographer, and driving all over town, I managed to tape two big pieces of paper together on Monday night and start drawing last night. The taping and drawing was complicated by this standoff.

Bowie wanted to play and Nova decidedly did not. But eventually they left, and I started with one of the campfire sketches (I’m changing it a bit as I go)…

There’s a little pencil on there, just to make sure stuff isn’t a stupid size. I can’t make it too complicated or I won’t be able to finish it in time. Bathtubs (yes, there will be more than one) and politics. Perfect mix. I’ll be doing this for a while. Hopefully not more than a week, but you never know.

From the book I just finished…which was eh.

But I liked some of her sentences. Like that one.

This is probably relevant to my quilts…because people sometimes say that to me about my work.

Make the world a better place and I’ll make prettier quilts. Also this…Goodall didn’t mention me at all. And I’m OK with that.

So the barn owl is still here, shitting all over the entryway steps and shrieking occasionally. I accept that as part of the wonder of having barn owls. I also accept the dead gopher they dropped in the driveway. But now we have romantic Great Horned owls…this is one of the males.

Horrible picture, at night, with a flashlight aimed at its horny self.

Not that the video is any better. At least they’re quieter than baby barn owls. But the female…holy crap, the most scary noise you’ve heard. I don’t have video of that. So there are two males and the one female, and the other night, they would not shut the fuck up. IDK how gentle hoots can keep me awake, but I guess it says something about me.

Last meme…

I blame my feeligs on the US actually. Well, and Russia and Israel and a few others. And billionaires. And people with no empathy. So there’s that. Earth does seem to be in retrograde though.

Meeting this morning, another after school. Last day to build roller coasters, so lots of yelling and ‘get on with it’ and recording videos of successful runs. Then two days to shut up and get the rest of it done. Ha! While I try to catch up on grading AND plan the next unit with my coteacher. Fun times. Long day. No pilates; couldn’t get into the class. Sigh. Ah well. Maybe on the weekend. Things my body appreciates…exercise, reading, peace and quiet, nature. Some of that.

Drawing in Campgrounds

Heyo. It’s Monday. And a week of school and art and whatever else I can fit in begins. I had a great weekend camping up in the mountains, although it was definitely chillier than I thought it would be the first night, thanks to a wind advisory. 50-mph gusts took it down to the low 40s, with a real feel in the 30s. Definitely colder than I had planned, although I brought all the long underwear, thank goodness. The second night had no wind and was quite nice…still chilly, which is a nice change, but not so cold you can’t feel your hands and feet. We were lucky to be in a part of the campground with no small children, mostly quiet dogs, and no partiers, for once. It was delightfully quiet.

It was a nice campsite, plenty of shade; in fact, on Saturday, after our hike, it was a little chilly in the shade. I kept moving my chair so I could doze in the sun, which is unlike me.

We did a 4-mile hike north on the PCT from the campground.

At some point, you get a hazy view of the desert below.

It was actually kind of warm, except under the trees. Four miles seemed about the right amount. I’ve been hiking 3 miles every weekend, but the Man hasn’t, so this was more than my normal and way more than his.

It’s a beautiful place to hike though…lots of trees and blue skies and fresh air…a few people, but not a lot. So peaceful.

That golfball thing on the Man’s head (well, it looks like it anyway) is the Air Force Radar Station. I looked it up. No, we didn’t visit. Probably not allowed. I wonder why it’s white, though. It could blend in more and be less obnoxious.

I drew both nights by the campfire…it’s kind of a tradition of mine. Staring into the flames, headlamp on, seems to help me just draw these days.

So many days at home, I’m only drawing for a specific piece or purpose, instead of just drawing for the sake of it. I used to have time for that, even with the day job. Now, it just doesn’t happen.

This will turn into something else. It was a solid start.

Still working in the bathtub range.

Less political. Which I suspect the new quilt will not be…less political, I mean. I have three bathtub quilts I’ve made over the years, and they’ve been more personal than political. I find it hard to make anything these days that isn’t political. The number of insane acts and policies and pronouncements makes it impossible. The loss of freedom for so many people can’t be ignored. I don’t have solutions that don’t involve coups or alien invasions unfortunately, and since Antifa doesn’t actually exist, I have to draw what I want for the world and make it into art. Draw what is and what should be. So these were prep for the next piece. The bathtub quilts will be in Virginia at the Virginia Quilt Museum starting the end of January. I’ll be there in March for the closing ceremonies.

The first night was already cold, so we were already starting the fire at like 5:30 PM. It was still daylight, so I was stitching on this little tree. It is a tree. Can’t remember what kind…obviously Sue Spargo and very stylized.

Here it is the second day…

The Man was napping…I did a little of that and some reading too. I appreciate the time to just sit and be with the things I want to do. I did bring grading with me; I don’t usually, but I’m in panic mode. I graded one week’s worth of homework in the car on the way up and finished it Saturday afternoon. I then came home Sunday and did a ton more. And no, I’m not done. I’m buried. Sigh.

This was the cold cloudy windy night…

The moon was very bright both nights, which was nice.

This was the beginning of the book I was reading.

Too true. I did all those things this weekend. Except commit felony homicide and move a body. And here’s a quote from the book itself.

I wish I really loved the book (I don’t…it’s OK, but not really my thing). I did love some of the phraseology and ideas. I have another book by the same author…this was a book club book. I’ll read the other one and decide if she’s just too cozy for me. I don’t mind SOME cozy stuff, but this was a bit too much. I’m not even done with it and I’m really done with it.

Here’s my level of cozy at the moment. Gotta love some Richard Scarry.

And Ruben Bolling did it well.

OK. We’re still in roller coaster design today. Hopefully the next three days won’t be hellacious. Thursday was a bit much, but I have hopes that once they start actually taping stuff together and testing it, it will be very focused and I can get some grading done. We’ll see how that goes. Then a 2-hour staff meeting that could possibly be an email. And ceramics? Hopefully. I’m delivering my quilt to the photographer tomorrow and when it comes back, shipping it off to the new owner. Which is good, because I have bills to pay. Sigh. Money stuff is stressful. What’s new, right? And then hopefully, I’ll start drawing the new piece. It’s going to be big, but it has to be finished in December, so it can’t be huge. Keep that in mind, Kathryn.

Another Hole in My Finger…

No matter what I do, I’m always sitting on the couch on Sunday night, wondering why I didn’t get more done over the weekend. Like I shouldn’t have gone to ceramics yesterday, despite not being able to get there all week, because I should have graded more. I should have finished that one assignment (I have a class and a half left to grade…at least an hour, probably closer to two). I should have finished grading the homework from two weeks ago (I have two classes left, maybe three? Can’t remember). I’m two weeks behind in grading advisory assignments. Ah well. And I’m going camping this coming weekend, so I won’t be grading then. Unless I can get the Man to drive (then I might get sick…hmmm) so I can grade homework on the way up. Meanwhile, I’m trying to not waste my ceramics studio membership by not going, I haven’t made it to the gym in weeks, and I have a quilt I’m trying to finish so I can start the one that has to be done by mid-December. Minor panic. I did manage to pick a binding from the three and get it sewn on…

Although Friday night, all I did was trim it. It was all I could handle. I graded a lot Friday night. On Saturday, I had more mental energy…so I got the binding sewn on and pinned down, and found a cat to sit on it.

Thank you, Nova. Then last night, I started the stitching and ritual poking a hole in my finger until I give in and find the sticky thimble things.

So I’ll be here a few more nights, then contact the photographer, and start the next one, which has been simmering on the Art Brain stove for a few weeks.

Ceramics has been frustrating lately; I can’t get there (I don’t have the energy or the time) and then when I get there, someone has bumped the big piece shoving stuff next to it, and it’s broken again. This is the head, though…and it’s almost underglazed…

Still some work to do on the hair…

And I think I did the teeth too? Maybe? I can’t remember when I took the photo. The mid-torso piece is hopefully ready to bisque fire, but that takes coordination with the person in charge of the kilns, and I haven’t been able to show up during her work time for weeks. I could just text her, I guess. I’m hesitant to commit to putting it into the kiln. I’m afraid it’s all going to fall apart, honestly, and if it does, I’m gluing it all together. There is a piece that goes on top of this, and the base needs to be bisque fired again, so there’s a lot going on…I just haven’t been able to get there enough.

When we go out on Saturdays, I draw until they bring us the food. I don’t always get much time (some places are super fast).

But it helps my drawing hand remember the things.

And sometimes people comment…this one got some random guy telling me it was good. Thanks random guy.

This one was two restaurants, two date nights.

The first one served way too fast.

This one too.

But it seemed mostly finished.

And yet, here is what I get from students…

I could just about read his writing. There were a couple that I really couldn’t read. This is the con to putting stuff on paper. The pro is that they can’t copy and paste from Google. The con is my brain explodes. This is what I didn’t finish. It’s not hard to grade, really…just time-consuming. What is that, you say? A person falling out of a moving car. If you stare at it long enough, you might see it. I only know that because the horrendously mostly illegible writing to the right explained it.

So more of that.

While I was grading, I was watching stuff, as you do…and this amused me. ALMOST?

So you have 26 pairs? Or you have part of a pair? Also, yeah, so do I, at least.

This after a conversation on Thursday with two staff members who admitted to originally being afraid of me.

It’s OK. This was found on Saturday’s hike before dinner…

Also the sun is going down earlier. I forgot that would happen.

Same cat (Nova) on another quilt.

It must be fall, the cat-sitting-on-quilt season.

This after the Man went out with man friends. Although they did actually ask some questions this time.

I ask stuff when he gets back, and he’s like, “We didn’t talk about that” over and over again until I’m like, WTF did you talk about?! I’m not invited anymore (it’s all just guy stuff, no gaming mostly), and I just wanna know how everyone is doing. And I can’t ask them.

Let’s finish up with my favorite disappeared female aviator…

Go Amelia!

OK. It’s a short week because our school board has set these idiotic 3-day weekends (the next one isn’t even a 3-day…it’s entirely stupid) because they say parents want them. It’s true that a bunch of our kids are absent on Fridays or Mondays…but it makes it harder to teach. I’ll take this one though…we’re going camping up in the local mountains. It’s a full week though…three Zoom calls at night (none are work-related), plus at least three meetings? Four? Not sure. I give up on keeping track. Teaching something today…ah, reviewing potential and kinetic energy for roller coasters, which they’ll start designing on Thursday. Fun times. Then two meetings or three, not sure (principal says one thing then says something different in the weekly email that comes whenever he feels like it…I miss the principal that scheduled them for the same time every week). Then I’m either going to ceramics or coming home and grading, because I have book club tonight. Good book for that one. And then stitching a hole in my finger. NO! Finding the sticky thimble pad, so I DON’T stitch a hole in my finger. That’s the plan.

I’ll Be Quilting at the End of It…

It’s pajama day at school today. It’s also supposed to be 90 degrees. Not sure those two things go together. But I am in pajamas. Flannel. Yup. With pockets though. I have a lighter pair, but they don’t have pockets. Yes, I know how to sew…clothing even…I could easily add pockets. In my spare time. I got none of that. In good news, the parentals are home, safe, not ill, and their lovely aged very deaf dog is back to their responsibility. In bad news, the day job continues to give me acne, bad sleep, and canker sores. I’m sure it will get better. Someday. Not this week though. This week is our first real lab and IDK how that will roll…this is where we can really see what last year’s teachers wrought upon us…that and the first long writing assignment. My hopes are not high. I realized (we realized?) last week that this group is not particularly independent, even when assignments are. I couldn’t grade anything, prep anything, even sit and help a kid I know needs it and won’t ask for it, because of all the kids requiring help who just didn’t listen to directions or quashing attempts to be social when supposed to be working. It was exhausting. Yes, there’s always some of that, but this was too much. So I brought home all the grading I’d been trying to do all week and did it at home…much faster. But eating up my time. Not OK.

Quiltwise, I knew I needed to do some embroidery on a couple of ICE vests that were too small to cut out words for…so I did that Friday night.

I was exhausted; I went to ceramics also and then my parents for the mail, so even though I had mostly prepared the night before to sandwich and pinbaste that night, I figured I wouldn’t have the energy. The boychild went to bed, then the Man, and Art Brain persuaded me to mop the floor, iron the backing, pin it to the floor, finish drying the batting (someone pulled it out of the dryer not dry…yes, I know who), iron the front, and then pinbaste the whole thing around 11:30 pm.

Absolutely some level of fucking nuts.

But honestly, much easier to do with everyone in bed. Dogs, cats, people out of my way.

Saturday night, I started quilting…

Made it through a healthy chunk of the dirt…

Then last night, I did the little people and most of the ICE agents dragging children through the swamp.

I’m sure I’ll be doing this most if not all of the week. And then I realized, how the fuck am I gonna buy binding? The store I usually shop at is open stupid hours and I’m going to LA on Saturday for basically the whole day. I’m not sure how I’m solving that problem yet. I’ll figure it out. Shop somewhere else, probably. Fewer choices in fabric unfortunately. Oh well. If you’re never open when working people can come in? Then they won’t come in.

This was the bed when I tried to get in it on Friday night. Eventually some moving happened.

Cute though. The Man is in there and those are all his babies.

I’ve been hiking every Saturday, late afternoon, about 3 miles, so I can eat a dinner I choose, instead of one my body allows.

It’s also relaxing, mostly. There were a lot of people this last Saturday. Less relaxing. There’s a fine line between hiking safely as a woman and being annoyed by all the people on the trail.

I drew at dinner…this was a two-dinner drawing.

The faster they serve the food, the more dinners it takes to draw.

Speaking of drawing, some of my students are truly amusing.

The arm gestures of Josh. So cute. Yes, I realize they drew a dead person, but it’s also a stick figure.

Girlchild is in Japan…I’m so jealous.

I asked what was going on in this photo, and apparently it’s joy.

This is not very iconically Japan…

But she looked more cool. So we get daily photos and videos of cool things in Japan. I’m very jealous. It wasn’t really on my bucket list (I was last there in 1967 at the age of nine months. OK it might have been 1968.), but maybe it should be?

And in political news…

Yeah maybe I should start saying that. What is your problem?

This is too true.

Sadly so. Also so much disinformation about this. I’m sad for his kids and wife; I’m also sad for the family of the shooter. I’m sure this isn’t what they wanted for him. But hey y’all…it was a white, religious, right wing extremist. Not the democrats. Not a trans kid. Not a woman. Not a person of color. Can we focus on the bullshit coming out of all those politicians’ mouths? And the guns…can we ever say the guns are the problem? I’m boggled by the about-shifts in social media with some of these people.

And this…with teachers and professors being fired over statements about Kirk. My partner says the world is a better place now. Is that a fire-able offense? Dowd is divisive? Seriously? I’m boggled by the rhetoric and the bullshit. Maybe I shouldn’t be. But I am. And the ignorance of history. That too.

OK. Well, all that aside, I do still have to teach middle school today. Energy! Still. Transformations of energy. Writing about energy. Using more than one vocabulary word in a sentence. Writing complex sentences. Things most science teachers don’t teach. Welcome to a literacy school. And two teachers who are readers. Then two different meetings after school. I’d like to go to ceramics, but I’m also trying to go to my quilt guild meeting, because Lea McComas is speaking there. It’s on Zoom, but it’s not the same thing. So IDK how the rest of the day will go; I just know I’ll be quilting at the end of it.

Where I Really Want to Be

I think I just ran around all weekend. I don’t feel particularly rested. Well, there were two late nights. I can blame one on Art Brain…I would have gone to bed. The other one, I blame Delta for flying the boychild in 90 minutes late on an already late flight. It’s fine. And last night, the new glucose sensor is off by 40 points again so the alarm kept going off…which is when I silenced it (it still buzzes) and put it on the floor. It’s still off this morning, so it gets 24 hours. Last time, that worked. Annoying though.

I did get the top ironed together on Friday night. I was exhausted (long short week), and was just going to piece the background, but once I had it all laid out, I’m like, it’ll be fine. How long will it take? That’s art brain talking, because the answer is 90 minutes past bedtime.

Awesome sauce. Looks good on that background, which is always nice. I pick those out when I start ironing all the pieces to fabric, so I’m never really sure what it will all look like in the end.

I started stitchdown on Saturday night.

Going about 100 mph, while singing along (probably quite badly) to whatever my phone was playing. Good thing the Man was also on headphones. Then I left at midnight to go pick up the boychild from the airport; he’d been hiking part of the PCT up in Washington.

And last night, further on in the stitchdown. Lots of details takes a bunch of time.

It’ll look better with outlining when I quilt it. That skeletal middle finger will be obvious.

I did a lot of school work this weekend (ugh). I remember now how trying to do the house stuff, run errands, go to meetings, but still have some time for art, reading, and relaxation…it feels like you’re constantly running.

I took a little time to sew stuff down on this during dinner TV time.

I also worked on one of the Rooted blocks during my quilt guild meeting, probably the first one I’ve been to in 6 months. First Saturdays are hard. I’m gone for the next one; I know that. A lot of the people I like to hang out with weren’t there.

I finished a cover page in science…a miracle for the first month of school!

Yet another roller coaster.

This show, with two of my pieces (one in the bottom right corner), opens this Friday.

I unfortunately won’t be there…and will never see this show, because it’s at Coastline College in Newport Beach and they are only open part of the week, certainly not the weekend. Ah well. It isn’t the first show I haven’t been able to attend. If you go, send me pics.

I also hiked 3 miles on Saturday…

It’s been hot still, so I didn’t leave until like 5:30 PM. The Man’s back still bugs him too much to join me, but hopefully in the future. It was still warm, but there was a cooler breeze in the second half.

I met one human and her massive (unleashed) dog…who saw me, stopped, and then started loping toward me. Kind of nerve-wracking. She’s searching through her pack for the leash and calling the dog, who isn’t listening at all. Sigh. I don’t care if he’s the gentlest giant around; if I’d had Simba with me, there would have been a problem. Leash your fucking dogs, especially in wildlife preserves, where it’s required. Humans are annoying.

Seriously, he was huge.

I saw this while driving home.

I chose to read it as What Would Jesus Do? Get rid of those two buffoons. Also badly centered ‘Vance’, which might be a metaphor.

Back to teaching, this is part of my regular job apparently.

The kid typed the stuff on the left. I mean, it’s probably true, and I did tell two kids that Spanish was OK, but Turkish is out of my knowledge realm. How to get these kids to write in English! I mean, I could have them write in their native language, then use Google Translate, then have them read it to me in English, then write it in English, but that would mean the other 32 kids in the class are just sitting there while I do that for 10 minutes (there’s multiple language kids in one class). This kid, legit writes in English most of the time, so I’m OK with it, but the three Spanish speakers have been in US schools for over 2 years and won’t even try in English. Sigh. I can’t do all the things. There isn’t enough time for all of it.

And for those thinking Chatgpt is teaching for us, we had it read through a set of stations we did in the past and consolidate it into 3 stations, instead of 6. It produced a ‘worksheet’, for some loose definition of such, and I spent over an hour turning it into something usable. I’m not saying it wasn’t helpful; it was definitely a shortcut, but don’t tell me it produces stuff I can use right away. Because it doesn’t. It probably saved us an hour of trying to decide which ones to do and what to cut, and then formatting it slightly differently so it all fits on four pages instead of 20. Still needs a ton of work and planning brain.

OK. It’s Monday. Another full week. Trying to fit exercise and ceramics in…not sure how that’s gonna go, honestly. Today? I’m teaching forms of energy. Mostly notes…a couple of demos. We built in some independent time this week (we’ll see how independent they really are), so we could NOT be direct teaching (which is exhausting for us and the kids) all week. Also maybe we could grade some stuff at school instead of bringing it all home. We have a two-hour (torture) literacy meeting after school today, ugh, with lesson and all. Not fun. Hopefully useful. They haven’t been, really…just been performative, which is annoying. They did let us plan our own learning this year, individually (although me and my co-teacher are doing the same lessons). For once, we get to decide what our kids need. What a concept. Then home to deal with a broken blind and the guy fixing it, with two dogs in the house. Then book club. And some stuff in and around all that. I think I read the book. I don’t remember. Oh yes! I did. It was nice. Not amazing, but nice. Then more stitchdown! Which is where I really want to be.

Remember Your Why!

Heyo. It’s halfway through…well, there’s one more prep day and then kids. That’s the hard part, although the first few days aren’t too bad…just a lot of talking. I could do without that. My voice could also do without it. I’ve actually enjoyed the last day and a bit in my classroom, because for the first year in a long time, I’m not panicking. I’m not unpacking everything out of a locked cabinet because they used my room over the summer, and I don’t have a lot of newbies to deal with, so I’m doing things that have waited for years. I moved some stuff in my room to be more logical. I put together a shelf thing I brought from home two years ago. I actually looked at the bulletin boards I never finished for 8th grade (I only looked at them; it’s OK). It’s been pretty chill. Hopefully that bodes well for the new year. Today I have a meeting and I need to copy stuff (the copier is not so chill, but that is always the case), but otherwise, I’m going to pilates. Yesterday I went to ceramics. Almost like a normal person. They let us sign up for afterschool duty for the first time ever, and I got an easy one. I never get an easy one…I’m always walking a long way because my classroom is closest to the front of the school, so I get the crappy duties, while other people waft through the easy ones for years. I get the same ones over and over again. But this year, I picked the easy one. I chose. I know, it’s silly, but let someone else do the light or the crosswalk or the bike rack. It’s time. I’m sure next year, I’ll get assigned something else, but the new principal wants to do things this way and I’m going with the flow. There are some things where I’m not going with the flow, in typical Kathy fashion. But whatever. I do my job and I do it pretty well most of the time. And when I don’t, it’s because I’m tired and burnt out. So yeah. Aiming away from that feeling this year.

Artwise, I haven’t had a ton of time each evening. Things like cooking and dishes…not so fun, but have to be done, ya know? And less time at home affects that. Always, it’s a bit of a shock to go back to the long days, although we are still in that sweet spot when I can come home and NOT work (well, I did on Monday). I can sit and read or stitch a little. Or go to the ceramics studio. I’m still breaking things on the torso. So frustrated with it at the moment, but I’ll get there. I’m building a crazy head for it though.

I’m gonna need room for the tree on the head though; it won’t fit on my shelf. Problematic. I’ll figure it out.

Monday’s staff meeting was long and mostly boring. Some new info, but they read the slides to us. And the ones they didn’t read to us were small and hard to read. But they won’t give us the slides until the end of the meeting, because they don’t want us on our computers. But there are still people on their computers. So I drew for the first hour or so.

I can’t just sit in meetings. My brain doesn’t work that way. It needs entertainment. This was good for that. The next hour or so, I read my book on my phone. I did listen. I heard most of the things. I just wasn’t particularly engaged. A lot of it is stuff I already know. It’s hard, because we have so many new teachers who know nothing but I don’t need to hear all that again, but we also have a new principal and some fairly new assistant principals who don’t know or remember how things work here. Like there’s a reason we don’t let kids in the hallway behind our classrooms. We used to and it was a behavior disaster. So now we have to deal with that again. Whatever. I won’t be responsible for the hallway; I already told them why. They can deal with it.

Certain parts of the quiltmaking process look the same every night. I mean, I can tell the difference, but when all I cut out are tiny pieces, the piles don’t change much in an hour. I think I’m in the 900s mostly? Going backwards…so not even halfway done. So here’s Monday night, right before I started cutting out the swamp trees.

And here’s last night, as I start cutting out the people in the swamp.

Still some swampy bits in the top bin, but there’s progress. I can see it. I’ll be here for a while though.

I’ve been stitching this stuff down all summer…in bits and pieces.

Most of the wool pieces are on…I think there’s a few more, but mostly I’m appliqueing cotton now. Which is maybe faster, IDK. And after they’re stitched down, they all need embroidery. I’ll be here for a long while.

We are back to one juvenile owl, I think. I could have sworn I heard a second, but I’m not seeing it, so I feel sorry for this lonely. It’s very loud.

That’s the moon, believe it or not.

It’s started flying around and squawking from other trees, so we are a few days to weeks out from it leaving. It’s weird how loud they are as babies and how mostly fucking silent they are as adults. They do squawk as adults, but it’s different and mostly threat related. And it’s usually just once, not all night. I apologize to the neighbors. A little.

OK, I have a morning meeting to deal with team stuff, plus meet a new teacher for some of our special needs kids. I get to ask why I have paraprofessional support in one class with only one kid who needs it when I have another class with six of them and no support (that actually goes over the 20% mark, so they will have to support in there…they just don’t know it yet). The email thread back and forth yesterday about one of the kids with the admin in charge of scheduling them ended badly. I’m just not going to sit and not say anything when what they’re doing is not best for the kids. Or me, for that matter, or honestly, the poor para who is sitting there with only one kid to help…which is fine if the kid needs that. I’m just curious if there was thought behind it, because last year, there wasn’t.

Then pilates after school…my body will appreciate that, even if my blood sugar doesn’t necessarily go along with it. Transitioning to school and stress and a different schedule has been interesting. I did very well yesterday. Let’s not talk about the other three days around it. It’s fun. My doc wants me to check in with a nurse once a month about the diabetes, and I’m like sure, here’s my first question about crashing sugar in the middle of the night (again). They have not called yet. Probably trying to decide which nurse will have to deal with me. I’m having positive results…I’m hoping to keep that going as school really goes. September is the best test of it…it’s usually absolute daily chaos. Then after that, I get to read and stitch and cut things out. Bliss. Remember your why! (teacher in joke)

Meetings…

First official Monday of the school year. Yesterday was the first Sunday and I totally ignored it…went to ceramics, prepped breakfasts (OK, that’s not really ignoring it), cut stuff out, stitched some things down. OK, I also did laundry and grocery shopping, so still not ignoring it…just not sitting down at the computer and sending emails. I did that Saturday briefly…wait, no, I did that yesterday. I so often end up in charge of things that I’m wondering, when I’m retired, if I will miss that. I will probably find something else to be in charge of. It is the way of my people.

Still need to get used to getting up at 6:30 in the morning and functioning. Not there yet. We night owls have a hard time with normal work hours. I do anyway. Today is an all-morning meeting about things, then nothing in the afternoon but classroom and prep. I’m sure I will have a few meetings pop up; they always do, but I’m going to try to leave everything at school for the rest of this week. I can do that for one week, right? Then my weekly emails from my team start, sent on Sundays. No grades until next weekend; that’s a plus, but I will have to do rosters and that stuff. Let’s hope there’s no other crazy stuff about to rear its ugly head. Here’s my team; apparently this is our 10th year together…

Mostly we get along. No really, we are like any group in that there are people who do certain things, and we work really well together and support each other, but sometimes, we need to isolate. So we do. That’s probably how we made 10 years.

I ironed Friday night; I really thought I’d finish, but then I looked at the clock and it was midnight and I was tired (up at 5:30 AM y’all)…so I stopped.

With about 5 planets to go…

So I did finish ironing on Saturday, despite having a long, mostly unproductive day, wallowing in Kitten missing. I’m still doing that daily…she was so tiny at the end and I held her until the end. And like I said before, here I am, in her space. Bowie keeps coming in and looking for her. Ugh. It’s fine; I’ll get used to her not being here. Maybe. So here’s the 187 fabrics I used in this quilt…

I love to sort by color. And here’s what I’ll be working on for the next week or so…trimming all of those.

I started that Saturday night as well.

Didn’t get very far; did another hour last night though.

It never looks like much at this stage. I’m going backwards through all the pieces, unless I flipped the pile at some point (which I did). But right now, I’ve cut out most of the planets, the stars, the sun, and I’m working on the spacey pieces in the sky. I barely started the barn owl. It’ll be a while. But it’s delightfully relaxing to sit on the couch and bingewatch stuff and not have to think too hard about anything. The sitting will help with the first two weeks of exhaustion too. Seriously.

I’m making a very strange head with a tree coming out of it for the ceramic sculpture I started in November.

Still needs eyes and stuff. Ears. Maybe. Yeah. Ears.

And I actually drew at dinner.

I’m going to have to start hiking on Saturday afternoons again so I can eat the dinner I want to eat. Revised. Blood sugar was high all day and then crashed Sunday AM at about 3. Fun times. When my body decides to be logical about how it deals with food, I’ll let you know. I think I’ve got it, and then it’s like, NO. You don’t.

Always true.

OK, meeting, then prep, then other meeting, then meeting here about trees, then collapse with a book. Then cut things out and repeat. Well, I don’t have to meet about trees again, but I’m sure tomorrow will be more meetings, just not full-school meetings in the library. For 3.5 hours. Ugh. Remind me to skip long meetings in retirement (which is still years away, but I’m still gonna think about it) unless they’re about things I love.

So Much Easier

I’m back home. Briefly. Like four days, then gone again. I seem to have squished all my travel into a two-week time period. Like it’s almost not worth unpacking before packing again. Different trips though. For the residency, I needed to take seven thousand modes of artmaking. For visiting my daughter, I can stick to a sketchbook and some stitching. I do want to finish up using the dyes today…I should already be doing that, but I got distracted by things. I am very distractable. Distracted. Possibly distracting.

So here’s the last bit of things from the week at Dorland…this is where I dye painted every day in the morning and the evening, when the wind stopped being a crazy dick.

Sometimes it would pick up again right at 9:30 AM; sometimes it wouldn’t even have died down at 7 PM. I’d get a random 20-mph gust and be holding onto everything. But that was part of the challenge. Get up! Get off the chair, out of bed, and go paint before the wind or the dark comes! I’m having that problem today…no wind to make me move my ass. But I will paint today. As soon as I’m done with this, I’ll go set up the table in the driveway and paint until I run out of prepped fabric and/or dyes. I think I can do another 3 or 4. I like it! I don’t like all of what came out of it, but some of them I LOVE.

This is the last one I painted up there; the dyes washed out a lot (but I don’t have a picture of that yet).

I still love it. I’m going to wash all of them this week in the washing machine, final wash. Then decide what to do with them next.

Here’s these two washed out…I love the different ranges of brown in the top one. It all looked the same before I washed it out.

And the bottom one is perfect! By the way, I finally got test results and contact from Sharp…the test results popped up around midday (yes, I was obsessively checking the goddamned app every hour). Benign! Damage from last year’s surgery, probably from the radio transmitter thing they put in, because it went in in a different location from the surgery. Probably next year’s MRI will show damage from this biopsy. Sigh. Thanks body for inflammation and necrosis.

I also finished the second leg on this thing…

Just needs arms and a head. Not sure when I’ll get to that. I like doing it, but it’s so freakin’ slow. Not that the other methods I use are fast really.

I also tested out some of the other mark-making devices I had around the house. I need to wash these out and see what survives.

Some of those line drawings need color or something.

This view is of the valley during the day.

Oh man, I killed so many spiders in the house, mostly littles, but some bigs. One might have been a scorpion and one was a yick ugh camel spider/wind scorpion, not really either of those. It was under my bag when I moved it, went under the wood stove. Then the leather chair. I was obsessively watching it because it was huge. Went to bed and it moved across the room, under another bag (or worse…there were TWO of them). It was moving sluggishly and then sped the fuck up, when I screamed and brought in the shoe. I was gonna put it outside, but fucking no, not if you are that speedy and aggressive. Apparently it doesn’t have venom though…it just wants to be UNDER. Blech. No pictures. You can google it if you want.

I think this was from Sunset Point, which has a similar view to my porch. Closer to sunset.

There was a need to see the sun set each night. I’m going to be honest and say I never saw it rise. Mornings are not my thing. I did do one hike, but didn’t bring poles, so I didn’t do the whole thing. Probably did a mile and a half. Was strangely paranoid about wild animals and/or falling. Anxiety is a fun thing. It manifests wherever the fuck it wants.

Here was the indoor space when I had multiple projects going. I was in a Zoom or webinar, one project on the porch, a pile of stuff under the table, sewing machine to the left, the beginnings of the woman on the right. It was chaos.

Probably a smaller space wouldn’t have worked for me. I didn’t play with everything, but I did play with a lot of things. It was good; it was nice that it was close enough for me to fill the car with things to try. A longer trip? I’d focus on one type of thing, I think, and probably not the dye painting. It is chemical/supply heavy and a pain in the ass, honestly. It doesn’t mean I won’t do it again. I just am aware of the time suck now.

Once a day, y’all.

Some things from what I was reading over the week…

Drawing boobies whenever you want to. Still Christopher Moore’s Anima Rising.

This is intriguing…

From Rebecca Solnit’s Hope in the Dark.

Terrifying to think of…

More about education…

It’s mind boggling. But true. As is this…

Not my Supreme Court…still.

On fire.

I didn’t consciously know about the poet Andrea Gibson…I don’t follow a ton of poets. Maybe that’s a problem. But their stuff is beautiful.

And the world is less full and rich with their being gone…although their poetry remains.

While I was gone, two artist friends of mine were at the Lubeznik show in Indiana…in front of my work.

Which was cool to see.

I got home and unpacked a lot (not all of it) and cleaned part of the fridge, ironically, because to check out of the cottage, I had to clean it to save the cleaning fee, and I probably worked harder there than I ever do at home. That said, there were some things I pulled out of the cupboard that were sticky and I cleaned them prior to using them. But my fridge at home is mostly gross and I needed to get rid of some stuff, so I did all that. Kitten is now full time closed up in my office, to avoid Bowie interactions. So I’m living with a litter tray and food and water. This will be a little problematic when I need to start ironing tonight, but we’ll manage. She’s seriously old and needs peace. She’s currently on an old office chair and can jump down for what she needs. What she really needs today is a bath. Maybe later.

I also sorted the Wonder Under I finished cutting out up at Dorland…

I was tired after that. I’ll need to do some cleaning in here to be able to work on the next step. I also need to go into the ceramics studio…not sure when that is happening. I’ve got three doc appointments in two days (and one is a root canal, fun times), plus pilates (my hip is looking forward to that). Still trying to figure out the patterns of my blood sugar. Oh! And I need to make a video for Quilt National…I should do that today. Maybe. Maybe I should clean first.

Nova was glad to see me yesterday…

Lots of love. The others too…

OK. Dye painting today. I should shower first. I have pilates later today, but in the middle of the day, like a freak. I need to eat something. Might go straight to eating lunch. I have a headache. Sleep related? Not sure. My hip really hurts for some reason. The weather is weird, all cloudy and delightful. I should take advantage of that. So many things to do! That’s why being gone was so much easier.

A Thought

Sure I’m never gonna have just one thought. My brain works way too fast in a branching psychosis that may be helpful in some situations, but sometimes ties neurons up in knots and creates flailingness. I’ve been working on art stuff most days for about 4-6 hours on and off, depending on the state of my brain. I should be able to work for 12 hours, right? I do know that pre-COVID, I would spend 6-8 hours on a break day or a Saturday, just working on one piece…but that’s a known process, it’s ironing all the pieces to fabric, it’s cutting things out…the idea already exists, the process is something I’ve done for years. This? Is not. This is fucking around with new ways of making. New ways of thinking and working. Somewhat exhausting. GOOD, but definitely the neurons needs breaks.

Here’s my thought. And it’s one I’ve had before but it is just being reinforced by this week away. I need to do this full time. Well…I first was going to type “more”… but full time is the reality. Nope, the reality is that I can’t afford full time right now. I’m watching a webinar right now where I know these artists are full time…and I don’t know HOW (retired? Partner supports? Independently wealthy?). I am none of those things. I am aiming for the first. The other two are out of reach. That said, I can do more. I think. I say that and then school punches me in the face. Imma punch back this year.

SO. I just posted all these pictures in order of when they were taken using the ancient iPad, and that’s not how I usually write. I usually do it more thematically, but I don’t want to waste two hours like I did Wednesday. So it’s gonna be that way.

The dye paintings have to sit MOIST and DAMP for 24 hours, so I make piles of them in cut-up and taped plastic bags with the dates/times written on them that I painted them, and then I wash them out as I go, more than 24 hours later. I knew that peach would get less orange, but I love that the blue stayed so blue. I love the top one…the bottom one I also love, but it will need some handwork, I think.

I’m trying things out here. On the one hand, I like the thin line I get with the tiny applicator, but it’s hard to draw with on fabric. The thicker ones are easier, but bleed more. But I also want to mess with just color and dye. So this is all trying stuff out.

Scrub jay. It’s loud and visits every evening. Last night, they brought a friend.

I forgot to take a picture of this piece before I covered it; the thin lines dry out really fast and it was in the afternoon, so it was warm and windy and I was afraid it would dry out too much and not set. And I haven’t washed it out yet…so I don’t know whether it set or not. That’s on my list for this afternoon.

Here’s the other line one I did that WAS washed out, although it needs more washout with Synthrapol…there’s a shadow as I let it dry. Obviously, these need color. Or maybe not. I think they do.

I have fabric paints and pencils and pens and a whole host of shit I brought and am not going to get to try. I overplanned. Wait, I always do that. It’s not a surprise. The Man is coming to visit today through tomorrow, and I’m going to send some stuff home with him, because I’m either done with it (threadpainting) or I’m not going to get to it (ceramics, probably paints & pens & pencils…still thinking about that). Once he leaves, I don’t have much time left anyway…just Saturday afternoon and evening. Sunday is mostly packing and cleaning.

This one…I love this one. I outlined with a thin brush, not the applicator. Still a pain, but less than the applicator. Then painted. The color, the orange, a lot will wash out. but I still love this.

Once you mix the dye paste, it’s hard to know how long it will last. One book says 5 days; the other says “keep track as you work so you know”. Um. Well. This was yesterday morning, and I mixed all the dye paste on Monday (took forever because of the wind). I think today is day 5. I still have a bunch of paste left, though, so I might just keep going and assume they’ll get more pastel with time? It really is just a matter of how much of it washes out. I have a shit ton more fabric. And a lot less wind at home. And a few days off before school starts. Actually, there are a million doc appointments in three days, and then I leave for San Francisco and the girlchild and more looking at art. I love this for me!

I read Christopher Moore’s new book, Anima Rising. It was great. Lots of art and cultural and literary references.

I love Sedna.

This is either the same alligator lizard that was on the door or another one (I think it’s a bigger one, honestly). NATURE!

Luckily, this one was outside. With the snake and the squirrel and the fox and the ravens and the owl. But NOT the spiders. I’ve killed 5 so far, 4 of them giant ugly grass spiders who survive multiple shoe whacks, and one bit me while I was asleep (not the grass spider; something smaller and bitier)…on my NECK. Freaked out by that. And yet, I continue to walk around barefoot. I did leave out the spider-killing shoe though…as a warning?

I was on two Zooms yesterday, one where an artist explained how she bought a church and remodeled it to be living space and studio (not happening here in San Diego…Susan Lenz, in case you’re interested) and one was my local SAQA meeting, with a presentation by another artist (Angela Jean). Both were interesting, but I couldn’t focus on anything else, so I embroidered the…is this June?…block of Sue Spargo’s Rooted. Finished this one…

And started July. Here’s the setup where I’m working on the female figure. I thought I might work on that, but apparently the brain can’t listen with intent AND make art with intent.

I need to edit some of these photos, but I might have to go back to the iPad for that, OR leave them be. Frustrating process. Not sure why I can’t do it on the app here.

Here are these two washed out. I love the top one. The brown washed out but still looks great. I can quilt this and it’s done. The bottom one…well, I loved it when I painted it, but I used the thicker bottle applicators and it bled like crazy…which doesn’t work for this. I’ll have to decide whether to fix it somehow? Or chalk it up to practice and make a cat blanket.

This one I think will wash out well…the browns have a lot more colors in them that will show up after the washout. I had a plan, but then accidentally dropped dye in some places I didn’t originally have dye…

A learning experience. I did this one last night. It was dry and the wind kept picking up randomly. There were storm clouds floating around, but nothing stuck…until the 5 seconds of rain at midnight or so.

I just take lots of sky pictures…weird for someone who isn’t really a landscape artist. The sky is way more complicated in person.

In the afternoon and evening, I worked on this. OMG this is so time consuming. I guess I didn’t come up here to find faster ways to make art. This is with 9 hours in.

I get one section pinned and then stitch it all down (by hand…that may be part of the issue, but hand stitching doesn’t make things as flat as machine, and that’s what I want). I had to add another section to the bottom to accommodate the feet. I still need to work on the lower legs and then the arms, and goodness, she might need a head. So it’s not getting done here. But I like it. It needs a lot more. Also, I so did not need to bring two giant boxes of fabric for this. But I ran out of time to edit fabrics.

So yesterday was business day 6 of not hearing back on the boob biopsy. I called in the morning and they said all the things, I found out that my doc IS on vacation this week (she’s allowed), and I asked for the sub doc to call back or something. The nice man (who is a man and maybe doesn’t understand boob anxiety) said “oh I’ll send a message and they’ll answer in another 3-5 business days”. OMFG. I explained that I’d already waited that long. I have an appointment with my doc next Tuesday anyway, but I really don’t want to wait another however many business days to hear. Did I hear yesterday? Nope. Nothing. Kept my phone on all day, nothing but fire warnings. SIGH FUCKING SIGH. So this morning, I wake up, slowly, and I check my email while trying to get functional enough to do another dye painting, and Sharp sent an email that new test results were released, check the app, and my heart races until I get the app opened…and there’s nothing. No new results. No letter. No message. Nothing. Fuckers.

So I painted this.

The wind picked up, but I think I got my point across. It’s not even the correct boob, but I don’t care. And then I sat through an art webinar that told me I needed to quit my job and make art full time. Ha! It didn’t actually SAY that; I just thought it afterwards.

OK. So I’m still boob anxious. Betting that doesn’t change today. I need a walk, I think. I need to wash out like three things? I think. Maybe two. I have a meet and greet tonight with the other people here. Need to bring an example of my work. Ha! I need to clean up and organize a bit so the Man has a place to sit. I need to work on the lower legs of that other piece. Oh shit, I drew last night too…apparently that picture didn’t come over. Let me see if I can do it on the phone (how many devices do I need to post one thing???).

Answer: three devices, because two of them suck. Well, they all suck in some way, or I wouldn’t need more than one. Original post started on ancient iPad, added most photos there. Saved draft. Typed most of words on laptop. I am old school. I am also old. It’s just easier to type with a real keyboard than hunt and peck. Edited photos and added the drawing photo on the phone…too small for typing.

Walk, then eat lunch, read book, then clean up. Wait. Check Find My app to see if the Man left already. Nope, he’s in the bedroom (scary, huh? He’s actually probably in the bathroom.). So I have at least 90 minutes before he gets here. Then wash out any dye painting that’s more than 24 hours out. Then do other things. Art things. Maybe talk to a human today. I haven’t in a few days. Except on Zoom and the phone with Sharp. OK. Do the things.

So Out of It…

Well hello. I don’t know what day it is. Don’t ask me. I know my art residency is coming up soon and I should be maybe panicking more about packing for that. Although I’ve been collecting shit in piles for days. There needs to be more though. Really. Really? Welcome to my brain.

The Man says I can’t call this a waste of a day. Even though really nothing is getting done, it’s a day when a thing needed to happen, which is why I am currently strapped up in three Ace bandages with an ice pack on my boob. Fun times. I got less than four hours of sleep last night and then had a needle stabbed from the left side of my left breast all the way across to my cleavage. Also, I’m fascinated by the word ‘lavage’. It has such a nice sound for what it actually is. And I had an official ‘boob holder’ nurse who kept pressure on the bleeding hole while I walked across and through a waiting area and a hallway and another desk area to a lying-down place (it had a name), where she continued to squeeze my boob as we talked about school and art and her kids. I wish I could tell you I remember her name, but I don’t. The bleeding did stop. Eventually. I don’t remember the last biopsy being this annoying…it also wasn’t over 90 degrees out and I probably had more sleep. I slept on the couch through the middle of the day and then all of a sudden, it was 4:30 PM. Girlchild is coming tonight. I need to deal with her room, the compostable trash, and dinner. It’s fine. I’m fine. I’m annoyed by the compression bandage (who wouldn’t be?)…it’s uncomfortable and hot and itchy. That said, they found a thing they didn’t like and now they have sampled it and hopefully it is nothing and if it is something, then that boob will get a second scar, and it’s a good thing I didn’t get around to tattooing the first one, because they will be dueling scars. SIGH. Fucking huge sigh. Science is good. Really. Also, I found the acetaminophen (yeah, I knew I spelled that wrong, flipped the a and the o)…so pain relief! Well, no, because honestly, aceta…fuck…Tylenol doesn’t do much for me. Tomorrow! I can remove the 17 Ace bandages and take real meds.

So. Art. I have two openings this weekend, which is awesome. I posted about Infinite Rivers down in San Ysidro before; I will be at that opening (5-7 PM), and I know I’ve mentioned the Lubeznik show, Women to the Front: Artworks from the Sara M. and Michelle Vance Waddell Collection, but they sent installation pictures…so here’s those.

There’s my piece The Way Out in the center. And there it is again.

This is an amazing show.

Lots of cool people in there.

More installation photos…

Another one…

Another one…

And another…

More…

Looks like an awesome show. Wish I could check it out. Couldn’t figure out how to get there and see it without spending a million bucks, plus I had the residency and the other opening.

I finally finished tracing…

It was 17 1/2 hours total…

Bowie is so not helpful…it’s 4 yards…

Time to trim. Obviously not getting to the ironing before I go on the residency.

I finished making this a solid rectangle.

I’m not sure how I feel about it…I think I will be embroidering it. Words I think. It needs a good solid ironing too. Maybe tonight.

Maybe something about this idiot.

Maybe I’m confused by why you would need to advertise the baby, put the baby in a vehicle that has so many recalls, drive such an ugly stupid vehicle and then put this ugly stupid sticker on it? Ah well, they probably feel the same about my bird-poop-covered car with its National Park stickers.

This is too real. I have a piece of wall in the hallway that’s needed to be painted for over a year. I thought I had bought a roller for it but can’t find it…so I bought another one.

Sigh. But haven’t painted it yet (just bought the new roller yesterday though).

This is mind-boggling…

My Medicaid household member has a workers’ comp back injury. How is that gonna work? Are they going to drive him to wherever he needs to work? Are there farmers near here for that? Are they going to house the babies, children, and elderly who will be doing that work? The disabled? Absolutely so insensitive and idiotic.

Luna has toe beans to show you…

The heat takes it out of the animals too…

Poor Simba. His boy is gone again. No long-term fires yet though. Knock on wood. There was one down here, heard all the helicopters and sirens and got all the warnings on multiple phone apps. It’s under control now…stopped forward progress. It was heading for one of our local hiking spots. Gotta stop it (also houses, so there’s that).

OK. I usually would now tell you all the things I’m going to do today. I am feeling more human finally, although ready to rip these Ace bandages off…ugh. I might get some fabric pulls together for next week. I might read my book some more. I might drink more tea. Feed the dog, deal with trash, make dinner, go get girlchild. Oh shit, finish cleaning up her room. Gonna go do that now. So out of it…