All Up in My Head…

Hey. It’s Friday. But it’s not a work week for me, so what does that mean? Not much, except for the people around me who are working are doing their stuff, so I guess that affects me. It’s a nice place to be finally, although yesterday tested my summer break self on the first day I actually felt like I was on break. It’s still all up in my head, so I’m going to do my best today to dispel it and do the things I want to do.

The quilt is progressing, although let’s just ignore yesterday, because progress yesterday was nil, nada, nichts, nothing.

The previous day, I sorted all the pieces…

Super fast when there are only 500 and something of them. Then I started ironing it together…

As always, although my numbering seemed logical at the time, in reality, it’s a clusterfuck. I can’t fit all the background swirls on at the same time, so I did most of the 0-100s and then laid out the 100s for the next bit, but that was where I got tired and couldn’t do any more. And last night was not conducive to doing any art, so hopefully today will be a million times better, because I wanted to be further along than this.

Part of yesterday’s issue is that I took the dogs out for a 3-mile hike to try to tire them out before a Zoom call I needed to be on (mostly the puppy was the issue, but it turned out that Simba barked during the whole thing).

It was a nice walk, not too hot, mostly breezy.

The dogs were much better after the first mile.

Although trying to keep the puppy on her side was an issue. We were all tired when we got back, but Annie did sleep for most of the Zoom, so that was good.

Yes. On the bed. Where else? Oh yeah, also here.

After that, things just kinda went downhill. So I’m not focusing on all that doom and gloom (except I say that and my brain doesn’t like to leave those things alone), It’s not the end of the world. Everything will be OK in the end. We’ll all be dead in the end, actually, but it should get better significantly before that. Meanwhile, I’m on break and I don’t have to think about all the things right now. There are books to read and wontons to make.

The girlchild made it to San Francisco, by the way…here are the two days with her dad helping.

If you want to know about the crickets, Google Ekko, Nevada. Then be glad you’re not there. She went into her job in person finally (she’s been on Zoom for weeks) yesterday. Big changes. She needs to find a real place to live and get settled. Easier said than done, yeah? Her dad comes back today to pick up the puppy. We get two days off from extra dogs, and then my parents’ dog comes while they are in Seattle (and coincidentally, me too…wait, not a coincidence…my nephew is graduating from high school). So I won’t be here for most of Katie’s visit.

Find the cat.

Nova has not been thrilled about Annie’s visit. Luna has chased Annie down the hall two or three times, so she’s living her real thug life, but Nova is just hiding.

OK. Shower. Make wontons (my reward for existing right now). Eat wontons. Save some for later. Pick up ex from airport, pass over dog. Iron some quilt pieces while watching British murder mysteries. Maybe do some more weed whacking, find the art for tomorrow’s meeting (if I can get my head around it…yesterday, I couldn’t. I tried.), read my book some more, don’t think about things that suck. Oh yeah! Go see an art quilt exhibit that has been on my list for a month. That’s my treat. Doing that.

Quiet Unfocusing

Slowly banging my way through this to-do list. One of the things on it is “weed whack” though and that’s a few hours of crap. The stupid battery on the weed whacker lasts a whopping 15 minutes, so that limits the time I can whack…pros and cons? The yard will never be done, but I can hopefully get two trash cans filled by tomorrow’s pickup. Last night, I was trimming in the backyard and kept hearing this weird mechanical sound. Finally looked up in the sky and saw a drone hovering over me. Flipped it off…continued flipping it off…it finally flew off, probably with its 10-year-old owner laughing his ass off at the old lady brandishing clippers.

I started cutting pieces out on Sunday, did a bunch Monday…

That puppy is totally unhelpful most of the time. Keeps trying to put her nose in everything.

But when she’s out, it’s fine. Last night, I cut for three hours because I just wanted to be done…

Annie still was so helpful. At one point, she got her nose under the tray where I was collecting the trash and tipped it over. But then zonked out.

Just under 8 hours to cut it all out. I am ahead of my original plan…which is good. I leave for Seattle on Monday. I’m thinking maybe I can get it ironed down to a background before I go? Maybe? I can get a good chunk of it done anyway.

Girlchild is in Nevada, hopefully getting to San Francisco tonight, since she has to be at work physically tomorrow. Crazy trip.

So today we need to walk the dogs, I need to fill another trash can with weeds, I need to sort the pieces I just cut out and start ironing this quilt together, I need to pick up cat meds, do the rest of my laundry (which means reattaching the vent because the Man fixed the dryer but pulled the vent partially off in the process), and read more…maybe eat food. Certainly I’m not sleeping enough because the puppy is not good at mornings. Anyway…it’s break. And I can tell that some people are irritated that I get time off and they don’t. Well yeah, I worked 12 months (probably much more) of hours in just 10 months…so it’s like when I did 10-hour days for 4 days a week so we could have a 3-day weekend (pre-teaching years). But I get that it feels unfair in the moment. Just remember all the nights and weekends I was working and you weren’t and maybe it will seem more equitable. Sigh. There’s a lot of unfair shit in the world…I’m just trying to appreciate the quiet unfocusing of a teacher summer.

Dysfunctional

My computer doesn’t seem to want to work right today. I’ve restarted it multiple times and it just gets slower and slower. It won’t do what I need it to do. My brain is having similar issues. I’ll be in the middle of a task, leave the room to get something related to that task, and I’ll start a whole new task without even thinking about it. Finish that and then remember the earlier task. It’s school-break brain. Or recovery brain. I’ve written a ton of things down so I don’t forget them…because forgetting is all I do at the moment. Plus there’s just a shitload of things that need doing right now. All the things I put off because I was teaching and there wasn’t time for much else.

Also I’m still so tired. Not sleeping well. Not sleeping long enough. I’ll get there. Just not there yet. Took a nap Friday. Considered it Saturday and Sunday but didn’t have the chance. And right now, I have a dog behind me and a dog next to me. Seems unlikely.

So Friday night, I started ironing Earth…

Saturday, I managed to finish ironing all the Wonder Under to fabric…

I’m pretty sure at some point (not that photo) I organized all the fabrics. But didn’t count them or take a photo (see note about brain above). Oh wait. I did take the photo at least.

Counting though. Hmmm. Could do that now. 114 fabrics. Very few greens. Because it’s in space? Space is not so green? At least in my head it’s not.

Then last night, I started cutting them out.

Didn’t get super far. Was hoping to be further along. Oh well.

Meanwhile the Man is trying to fix the dryer. Cheaper than getting some repair person to come in.

Can’t dry the laundry until he finishes. The part comes in today. Let’s hope it works.

Girlchild is driving across the US, moving from Boston to San Francisco. I’ve been tracking her and her friend Alessia, who is getting her to Denver.

Then her dad is meeting her and helping to drive the rest of the way.

Sorry, Cleveland.

I’m curious how being scared in a gas station bathroom is not a personal record. They’re currently in Nebraska…it’s going to be nice having her in the same state.

Yesterday, we headed over to the parentals for dinner and I actually remembered to take a photo.

There was this weird conglomeration of a 100 or more crows being really loud and flying around the neighbors’ house. Mom and I walked over and the crows were attacking a juvenile hawk. There were two of them. We stood around and eventually the crows left, so now we are crow enemies forever, right? They’ll remember us? The two hawks made it into a tree, but the one that was being attacked was making its I want my mommy cry.

Very strange to see so many crows involved. Nature can be so vengeful. Speaking of…

Seems legit.

OK well I’m on the couch with the ex’s puppy because he’s on a plane to meet the girlchild, I have 78 thousand things to do and can focus on nothing, and I have a webinar in less than two hours. This blogpost has taken forever to write on the iPad (finally gave up on the computer). Puppy has her nose on my arm. So sweet when she’s not trying to eat shit and/or escape. I’ll read for a bit, maybe nap, then be productive in some way. Maybe.

Work I Love…

Yo! Last Monday of the school year. Am I done with grades? I am not. I’m hoping they are due tomorrow and not today. I should find that out. Tomorrow. Whew. I just thought of that. Nothing like going until the last minute. Trust me, I WOULD have been done by now, but we haven’t tested all the bridges yet and some kids forgot to turn shit in and I don’t even know what to do with the kid who at 2 PM on Friday, with an 11-day assignment due at 3:30, was begging for more time, and then STILL didn’t do anything. Sigh. So yeah. This is the crazy week. All the grades and awards and parties and promotion practices and actual promotion plus clean your room and lock it up because summer school will be in there and they will use all your shit.

Yup. Almost there. I can taste it. Almost. This week is actually really long. Friday night and all day Saturday I was convinced I was getting sick: massive headache, sore throat, achy all over, felt like crap. So I started with the immune protection stuff, emergen-c, and drank a lot of it. All day Saturday. I felt OK yesterday and this morning, so maybe I kicked it? Or? It will come back with a vengeance on like Wednesday, when I have to be outside all day. Yeah. Still taking vitamins just in case. Even if it’s all in my head. There are lots of things in my head. If it keeps me from getting sick right now, I’m good.

So Friday night, I sorted the Wonder Under…

It didn’t take long.

Then Saturday, I ran errands, bought a background fabric (two actually, but one was better than the other for this), and cleaned the office/studio…which started out like this.

I put all the fabric away, and then mopped the floor. It had been a while. It was driving me a little bonkers. But that’s all I got done in here.

The Man had a show on Saturday night and I was feeling well enough to go. In fact, there are times in my life when I feel like going out and dancing has kicked a virus out of my system. This may have been one of those occasions.

Also they played really local, which made it an easy decision to go.

It was a good time. They are taking a 6-month break because one member is having shoulder surgery and another one just needs to rest his shoulder, so this was the last show for a while.

They opened for Sonic Moonshine, which is also a good show.

Especially with the bubbles.

Sunday, I set up my ironing space…

Laid out the first 100 pieces of Wonder Under, picked the first fabrics…

And started ironing to fabric.

That’s where I’ll be every night this week, I think. With a few exceptions.

My post-eating stitching for the evening is still this Sue Spargo thing.

Brainless and easy. That’s what I need right now. Plus purple. Always good.

Simba agrees.

It rained AND his boy is gone. Very traumatic.

So traumatic that he was lying on my bedspace last night. Really, I think I was supposed to curl up at the foot of the bed, based on this arrangement.

I made him move. He was OK. Ever hopeful for that space.

The owls are wandering all over our little neighborhood, driving all the neighbors bonkers probably. Last year, they just hung out in our yard. This is a wide-ranging group. Which means we rarely see video of any of them on the owl box.

But we hear them constantly.

OK. Today I need to get through a whole lot of bridge breaking…Period 2 may be nigh on impossible. I think I need to do 7 of them in a short period. We’ll see how I do. Finish science and classroom orders, plus a staff meeting, finish grades. My quilt isn’t ready for pickup yet, unfortunately. I really need it by Thursday and I have limited time for pickup before that. Sigh. Ah well. Worst case, I’ll pay the extra for the ‘late’ entry (it’s not late, but there’s a cost break for ‘early’). I’m pretty sure I’m cooking (something) tonight, but there’s ironing at the end of it, which seems like more ‘work’, but it’s work I love. So that’s a good thing.

Doozy…

This is the last full week of school. It’s a doozy, of course. Nothing like next week, but still a ton of stuff going on, both at school and in the evenings. Fewer kids turning in late work this trimester. A blessing for me; maybe not so much for their grades. No more lesson planning really though. That’s a plus. Spent so many hours over the last school year trying to do that. Desperately doing that. Can’t teach if you don’t know what you’re teaching. Glad that’s done. Mostly. Yeah. This week is pregnancy and STIs, plus bridge building and maybe breaking, plus a field trip, but coming back and teaching afterwards. Ugh. It’ll be fine. Right? It will? It will be something.

I did get some significant progress done on the new quilt…traced a chunk of time on Saturday…

Before a hike and after dinner. Made it more than halfway.

Then last night, I was going to grade another thing (I graded all afternoon), but then a kid, two kids really, cheated in a truly annoying assholular way, so I quit. Did not have the mental stamina to continue. So I traced instead, which may always be the healthier option.

There’s only 60 pieces left for tonight, and then I can start cutting.

Simba curled up on the couch. Yeah, I had hoped to be done with the tracing yesterday, but I did other things instead. Got a lot of things crossed off the to-do list, which is good. Feels less overwhelming at the moment.

The next goal is to be totally cut out this week and ironing to fabric by the weekend. Hopefully. Gotta put a lot of stuff away in the studio for that to happen, and I’m not sure I have a background fabric that will work. We’ll see.

I drew a little at dinner…

I don’t know if I posted this one, from the last two weeks of dinners…

Some places serve food super fast and I don’t have time to really finish a drawing. This sketchbook is almost finished. It’s a perfect size to fit in my purse. I probably have another one in my stash that will fit.

I went to my quilt guild meeting and worked on this. The never-to-be-finished scarf.

Almost got the body done. Still need to do the face and then decide what else I’m doing. I’m not covering all the black. I think.

We also hiked the dogs…mostly trying to tire out the puppy.

We tired the old man (the dog, not the Man) out pretty quickly…

But Annie was still zooming around at the end of 3 miles.

She was pretty good…a few moments of chewing stuff and she peed and pooped in the house in the first hour, but then figured out how to tell us she needed to go out. Good thing; she’ll be back in two weeks when the ex helps drive the girlchild across country. I’ll be off school, though, so hopefully that will help. Or not! Who knows.

Lots of blooming going on in the yard…

Lots of my chipping away at weeds, cleaning up the yard, trying to make it nicer. A little bit at a time. It probably needs more than a little bit, but that’s what I have time for. That and reading and making art. Lots of reading to do…looking forward to more of that. I do have a school training I have to do in July, and I really should plan things (but not sure how that goes…probably need to meet with my 8th-grade team at some point, but one is a newbie to our school and the other one is as burnt out as I am). Hmm. Not worrying about that right now. Maybe later this week.

Annie meets Kitten. Pretty sure I have scratches from this meeting.

9 days y’all. I might actually survive this school year…it felt pretty desperate last November…but I seem to have managed it. Not sure how. OK. Monday. Go to school.

I Read My Book Instead…

I’m so off on my blog writing. It’s OK. I should have done it yesterday, but I read my book instead. In fact, there’s a lot of things lately where I think, “I should have done it…, but I read my book instead.” It’s OK. It’s a coping mechanism. It doesn’t make the right eye twitch less at this point. A week of sleep might, but that’s unlikely. Anyway, two weeks of school left. Some field trips, some promotion practice, some bridge building, some reproductive learning. It is easier. I still have stuff to grade, though. Brought a bunch of it home but have felt not at all like looking at it. Not a surprise really. Already mentally on break? Can’t really be there already. Next weekend will be a crazy batch of grading. This weekend, we are puppysitting. I did start tracing the new quilt though…people are always amazed that I go right into the next one without a break, but this one has been drawing itself in my head for almost 8 months. It needs to come out. I don’t like sitting down after school on the couch and NOT thinking about artmaking. My brain is on overdrive, often three or four quilts out, what’s next? Appease the art brain.

Anyway, I started tracing on Thursday night…

The first background pieces are large, long, and swoopy, so I didn’t get far. Last night, I finished those up and started on the sun.

Annie (Anwen) was trying to help by climbing up on the light table (the cats do it; why can’t I?). Not helpful. But I did get a goodly chunk of stuff traced last night; hopefully more today. I wanted to be done with tracing by Sunday night. Not sure I can pull that off. I do have a meeting today and we need to walk the dogs, tire the puppy out at least. And I do have things to do that are house-related instead of school-related. We’ll see how it goes.

So far, she’s peed on one couch, which led me to find a bra belonging to the girlchild (she hasn’t been here since December) and pooped on a rug. And scared herself with the cats. Both the Man and I are sporting claw marks (somehow we got in the way of the cats killing the dog). But in general, she’s fine. Sweet. Just puppylike.

Simba is not a fan.

But he gets the love from us anyway.

The good news is that I have two days off to semi-relax, maybe get a little bit more sleep than I have been during the week. I have plenty of books to read, possibly too many (is that a thing?), my meeting is in a quilt store, and school is almost out for the summer. It’s all good.

In One Go…

Ah Friday. Cinco de Mayo. Happy celebrations to you if you do celebrate it (and I don’t mean all the white people who just use it as an excuse to get wasted). Me? I will just celebrate that I made it through another week at school, although yesterday was a doozy. It was actually pretty fine (say that like it’s the 70s, because it WAS pretty fine) until the fight we had to break up, which threw my adrenaline outta whack and then I still had lab stuff to prep after school, which I did OK with, but then came home and had to zone out with my book instead of going to the gym. I did do my physical therapy exercises, so that’s not nothing, but I hate when the day job wipes me out like that. In one go. I’m trying not to predict today, but I know I’ve asked kids to do some hard stuff AND it’s a full moon AND a Friday, so who the fuck am I, tempting fate?

I am a middle-school teacher, ever hopeful. Would’ve quit years ago if I weren’t.

Simba’s back is hurt…or hurting. Some of the puppy’s shenanigans probably, rolling him over. So he’s on bed rest, which he quite likes until there’s something to bark at. Stuck here with us, instead of traveling with his boy, which he doesn’t like. Although he slept just fine with me last night. A dog, two cats, and a snoring man in there somewhere, who I eventually rolled over so he’d stop long enough for me to fall asleep. Is it Friday for real? I’ve been off by a day all week somehow. And grades are due Tuesday.

Here’s Simba on pain meds…

He was drooling earlier. He’s doing much better now. Expensive dog.

I’m really enjoying sleeping under a handmade quilt…made by me…for the first time in my life. Weird, I know. Just thought I’d throw that in there.

So ironing is really fun at the moment, so fun that I’d rather do it than grade stuff. Unfortunately, I have to grade stuff. I did two things last night and then started ironing around 9:30 PM. That’s my hard stop for school work stuff. Most nights. Wednesday night, I did the easy button and all the wires going down to the pigoon, and then did the human-faced cat.

Not much actually, to take almost an hour. You can’t even see the wires on the teflon sheet, but this is going on a dark blue background, so it will be visible.

Then last night, I ironed the wings down…

And then I took that whole huge section of base and torso and pigoon, and I rolled it up and got it off the ironing board. It was getting unwieldy. And the stuff I’m doing now can be attached to this later. The head and fourth arm will fit easily enough, plus there’s a bird in the sky and a butterfly. Making my life easier.

Then I started the steampunk butterfly, but didn’t get far…

Kitten will confirm there is a lot more to this butterfly than I’ve done. I had to sort the next 100 pieces, though, so I’m ready to go tonight, once I’m done grading things. Which might be when hell freezes over. It’s OK, climate change may take care of that.

I’m in the 1200s, barely, with the stuff I did last night. Less than 400 pieces to go. Not finishing tonight, for sure, but hopefully getting a good chunk done. I’ve got two dueling meetings tomorrow, plus I wanted to go to the local plant sale and for a hike. But grades. So IDK how much of that I’ll get to do.

Anyway, off to manage the last day on some academic projects, hopefully to get some stuff graded while they’re working. Hoping for no fights today (or at least not in my vicinity), hoping some of the worst of them are absent. Just for a day. Right eye twitching away. Next week starts state testing. And interviews for our open science position. And meetings about a possible new literacy program. And a few afternoons where I won’t have to teach and I’ll get to have lunch out or delivered. That’s a treat for teachers. Hopefully a bit more relaxing than it has been. We’ll see.

All About an Arm…

Middle of the week. Already. Getting through the workload. Sort of. Dog is feeling off…needs the vet. Meeting this morning…parent realized after three months that their kid is doing nothing and ditching classes. Fun stuff. Ironing is still happening…I think I hit the 2/3s mark last night.

Monday night was all about an arm…

OK, two arms. Put the code on her arm and then started building the other one. The code stands for something. It’s written down somewhere. Binary for something.

Then last night…

Fingers with lots of rivets, plus a pigoon. A what? Ask Margaret Atwood…but they’re smart.

I’m in the 1000’s…about 30 left of them. So about 500-550 pieces to go. Maybe ironed down by the weekend? Or ON the weekend…which is already booked up. I was looking at last year at this time, and I had time for the SD Book Crawl and a hike and lots of art. The Man was up in Kennedy Meadows, working, getting ready for his hike. I was making art and who knows what else. This year feels much more hectic, which is funny, because last year was pretty rough due to block scheduling and having the same kids together in all the same classes all year. There is no normal any more.

I had the dentist yesterday, then had to buy some fake fur for school, for a lab (they always ask you what it’s for, so I told them). And then went to visit the ex’s new puppy again…she’s hyper as shit.

But also cute.

Meanwhile, poor Simba feels like bleck. So I’m calling the vet when they open, on the way to the parent meeting that is a waste of time (sigh). I can’t find the paper examples I used to have for what I’m doing in 8th grade; luckily my co-teacher had a pile, but she doesn’t remember doing it (she must have, because I don’t recognize any of the kids’ names). Mine must be in the classroom somewhere; I just don’t know where. One more place to look. I don’t know what I’m doing in 7th grade…oh wait, the thing we finished yesterday. Yes, that’s how it’s rolling here.

OK, gotta go to school, do the things, hope for some ironing tonight.

Peace and Quiet

Well. It’s Monday morning and I’m still in my pajamas (I couldn’t do that over the weekend; had places I had to be)…I need to do this at least once over break or it doesn’t feel like time off. I did grade stuff on Sunday and will do more today, just because it has to be done and I’d rather get it over with than have it looming over me at the end of break. No matter what I do, something will be left until the last minute and the Sunday before we go back will be panicky, but I can do my best now to make it better. Future self will appreciate it.

I also did a bunch of art stuff, so I’m feeling OK at the moment. The yard is scaring me with its overabundance of shit growing out of control and needing maintenance, but I feel like that’s an annual thing and this year is just a bit worse because we’ve had so much rain. The weeds, man, there are weeds for DAYS. But I have four days before we leave to go camping, so that’s time that needs to be utilized wisely. So far in the last three days, I have sent a few emails out for something I’m thinking about, the Man and I planned food and made lists for camping, I made it to one exercise class and one meeting…I’m doing amazing! Oh yeah, finished a book and started another one. I am feeling a little panicky actually because my to-do list is a bit overwhelming. But I think it’s a lot of little things that can be banged out quickly. I hope.

So the quilt pieces got sorted on Friday night (I was really tired)…

That was after going out and listening to a friend’s dad’s band and playing some meme game…

Yeah, that’s me reading the cards. So it’s no wonder I was tired when I got home…we also stopped for food on the way home…

I don’t often go out on Friday nights…too tired. This time, it was the first Friday night of Spring Break, so it felt doable. Last year, I got on a plane and flew overnight to see the girlchild…who got a new job yesterday! She’s coming back to the West Coast, so that is lovely. And hopefully this job will be better. It feels like everyone around me is getting new bosses in the next few months…including me. Change…is good sometimes.

Saturday, my quilt guild had their 3rd birthday party (yes, we started right when COVID started). The birthday cupcakes had an issue with spelling…

I worked on this while sitting there…

Wait, I have video…

I’ve been working on this since 2020, I think. It is not fast stitching, but it’s meditative.

So after that, I ironed the newest quilt together…got a chunk done before dinner…

Then came back after dinner and did more…

And on Sunday, got the main figure done…

And started working on the doctor’s lab coat…

There are a lot of pieces in this coat. Today, hopefully I’ll finish the ironing and get it ironed to the background so I can start stitchdown. My goal for the week is to finish stitchdown and get it pinbasted by the time we leave for Arizona. I think I can do that…until I start thinking about all the other things that need doing. Yeah! Woo!

New puppy Annie (Anwen) at my ex’s house…Simba is still not enamored of puppy behaviors.

That is HIS pillow. Poor puppy. She’s adorable.

OK. Boychild says I have lots of yardwork to do. My to-do list has a lot of art and house stuff on it, as well as yard stuff. I think I need to take a shower and get out of pajamas, unfortunately. Although I think I’m going to do one school thing first. I finished 2/3s of something yesterday and I’d like to get the last third done. Then start checking shit off the list. But also read and pee when I want (teacher dreams!) and eat when I’m hungry and not as fast as I can. And take deep relaxing calming breaths because I can. Thank you, Spring Break, for giving me some peace and quiet.

Drawing in My Head…

I think I am going to go to sleep tonight and wake up sometime next Wednesday. And hopefully all the things I need to do and/or have forgotten to do will magically be done and I will feel refreshed and ready to take on the last 9 weeks of school. Damn, that sounds long. Not as long as 38 weeks, but long. I’ve managed to grade a ton of stuff in the last three weeks, so I will go into break with two academic assignments, a couple of effort questions, and (so far) 4 classes of packets. I’ve finished one of the 8th grade packets; they’re small and easy to grade. 7th grade is probably coming home with me. I have to clean my room enough so that they can clean the floors (finally! last cleaned in August), and there’s a 90-minute talent show assembly today, so both of those things are exhausting. But doable. I can see the light! At the end of a long tunnel. It’ll be fine. Bad news the other day was bad. But not devastating. Ah well. Change. It’s neverending. Just keeps happening. Roll with it. Maybe roll over on your back and look like a dead bug, but roll nonetheless.

Artwise, the break is looking awesome. There’s a show I want to go see, I have two quilts ready to iron together, one of which needs to be done by the time break is over, I’m going to have time to draw the two quilts that are hanging out in my head at the moment. One of them is school shootings again. Because you know what? They haven’t stopped.

When I have problems falling asleep or falling back to sleep at night, I imagine where I am in the current quilt and walk myself through the next steps. My counselor said I could also think about the next quilt. That might have been a mistake. I drew an entire anti-gun/pro-kid quilt in my head the other night and now I have to draw it for real.

So much truth. And this one is heartbreaking.

Certainly I think about whether I’ll get to retirement without living through a school shooting at my own school. I think all teachers probably do. It’s exhausting on top of everything else we do.

So there’s all that, and then there’s making art. I actually have a second quilt that drew itself in my head in the last week, so I have some drawing to do at some point.

Wednesday night, I cut stuff out.

I was feeling close to done, and sure enough, last night, I finished.

It took 6 hours and 45 minutes over the last week. Tonight I’ll sort them and clean up in the studio a little bit so I can iron. I don’t know if I’ll have the energy to start ironing, but if I don’t tonight, I will tomorrow. Because I don’t have to grade anything tomorrow or lesson plan anything. I will need to at some point during break, but it doesn’t have to be tomorrow. Looking forward to a break from all that work, every day, nonstop, panicking regularly about what the fuck I’m doing in 8th grade. Don’t want to normalize that.

I find this funny, but I don’t think I’m either. There’s a regular disagreement about silverware, but whatever.

Oh yeah! One of my students painted me this…

She also wrote me a long note on the back and that helped me get through a long day. Kids are good. In general. Even the annoying ones (which she is not).

Another kid I’ve had for almost 2 years now actually showed up in my classroom after school and asked for help (!) after never doing that before, and then she went home and did the thing and emailed me she was done and I am so damn proud of her for doing all that. She’s super shy and quiet and honestly anxious maybe frightened and I’m so happy she got to that point. A good day if that’s all I look at (I should learn to just look at that and not the annoying tiresome bits, yeah?).

Simba has a new friend…

My ex got a new dog, a puppy. Anwen is 14 weeks, so this is a good comparison for the future when she is full grown next to Simba, who is middle-aged at this point. She’s adorable and sweet and I’m looking forward to seeing her grow up.

OK. It’s the final countdown. Eight hours until they are gone and I am finalizing my disaster of a room. Spring Break is a reset button. Get back to eating healthy and more exercise. REST for fuck’s sake. Let my teaching brain have a break. It’s time.