Overthinking It…

Hey. Friday is finally here. I haven’t slept well all week (I know, when do I ever) because I’ve been overthinking. I’d like to thank my brain for that. Actually, that is the part of my brain that’s good at the artmaking too…it figures stuff out while I’m doing other things. And it does the same with lesson planning, runs simulations in the background and then shuffles solutions into my working brain. It’s useful…until there’s a personality issue, and then it overthinks the FUCK out of it (what did I do wrong? what could I have done differently? how will this be solved in the future? am I just being a bitch? why is she such a bitch?). You know. All the things. I guess I need to focus on the good things my brain can do and try to meditate through the others…which has meant more meditation than sleep a couple of nights this week. Could do without that.

Also a slow simmering anger and frustration about my school board and their ignorance. Bullshit tactics. Now we are designing our own sexual health curriculum, designed specifically for our kids. Um. Code words for remove the stuff they think is inappropriate: Gender, LGBTQIA…what else is going to set them off? They will have to follow Ed. Code. They’re making a committee of parents, teachers, and health professionals to create this thing from scratch, more work, lots more work, mostly in fighting the ignorance, needs to be evidence-based and science, not your late-night searchings on the internet (seriously, this one guy has way too much time on his hands). At some point, they wanted health professionals to come in and teach the curriculum, and I’m sitting here going (1) because we’re not capable? Nice. I’ve been teaching sex ed for 20 years, dude. (2) There’s a shortage of health professionals already…where are you going to get 5 of these per school for a week to 5 weeks every year? (3) And can they deal with middle-school behaviors (I already know the answer to that). Can they deal with 30+ kids aged 12-14 at the end of a school year that they have never met? I know the answer to that too.

So yeah. I’m making a quilt right now that is mostly not political (well, it is, but lots wouldn’t see it) and it’s fun and full of bright colors, and I feel bad because books are getting banned, women’s bodies are being controlled, LGBTQIA people are losing rights, my trans kids are losing their rights, it’s not safe for them in some places, and where I live may well be one of those places. People…kids…are still being shot. I read that the ERA was in danger. I know all this shit will end up in a quilt eventually, but it feels weird to be making one that is so NOT about those things.

Ah well. I did the same thing last year. Made a bunch of political stuff and one not, and it got into Quilt National. So I guess that’s a thing.

So that’s the mood I’m carrying around inside me today. I’m glad it’s Friday. I’m OK with what I’m teaching today. I think it won’t be too stressful. I’m so incredibly not ready to teach next week in so many ways. I’m fairly sure I will still be butting heads with this other teacher, probably until she leaves our school (she says she hates it here, so yeah, she should leave), so maybe forever. But there’s a weekend coming up and that is some respite. An art meeting. Some more artmaking time. Some reading time. Hopefully a hike. All the things.

I iron every night. I try to iron for an hour. On Wednesday night, I did leg parts…one of the parts was this baby in a pocket. A leg pocket. A pocket of flesh…

Because if you’re not going to put pockets in my clothes, then I’m going to put them in my flesh.

I also did the knee, I think…can’t remember. Wait. I can look back and see.

I did the back foot, and then all of the legs. Obviously not done. This isn’t fast. But it is enjoyable. This was a good choice for working on during the end of school. Although I need to go faster. As always.

Last night, I found and ironed one of the spare arms (another thing we all need) and a snat (snake/rat, also from Oryx and Crake, by Margaret Atwood).

Deciding what animals to combine is one of the interesting things in that series. I’m not sure the snat makes sense at all. But that was part of the point. Humans make a lot of shitty choices. I can easily see our current society in Atwood’s Handmaid’s Tale and Oryx and Crake. They are way too close to reality.

Yesterday, I was inside this during my last two periods…

It was an interesting change. I sent half my kids to another classroom because they’d already done this, and I took the other half through with my co-teacher’s kids. The first group was a little rowdy…as time went on. The second group seemed better. Or maybe I was so exhausted by then that I couldn’t tell. Cool experience for them though. Maybe they never see the world from the inside.

Anyway. So I am not ready for all the things. I need a whole ‘nother cup of tea before I even consider going to school (don’t have time for that…I can make it, but I’ll have to drink it on the way). I have a ton of work outside of teaching to do today, so that is weighing on me, but it will happen. Somehow. And there’s reading and art on the other side of it. All good. Overthink THAT.

Speak Up…

Glad it’s Wednesday, positive thoughts, exercise, art, and my book at the end of it all. Also I got into the Interpretations show at Visions with Same As It Ever Was, so that’s cool. See you at the opening in October.

Hey not only is my school board trying to manipulate our human sexual education program, they compared conversion therapy to a conversation about gender, and it appears they’re in the book banning business as well. Fun stuff. This is the shit that makes teachers quit (or go to another district, if you don’t have a ton of years invested in this one and can’t leave). This quilt is about a lot of things, but started with us white women getting upset about Roe v Wade’s demise, but realizing that for a lot of BIPOC and LGTBQIA people, they never had the same rights anyway, and their rights are eroding at a hundred times the speed of us white babes. So it’s angry but also very focused on what the US is doing, the Supreme Courts, the politicians (that’s Brett Cavanaugh there y’all, if you can’t tell from the beer bottle). Come to the opening and you can READ the big dumb heads.

For my next political piece, maybe I’ll add my school board and book banning for fun.

I am working on the other piece, although last night was not the most efficient. I started late because, well, my day job. I had a ton of work to do for school, still do, and I listened to the school board meeting last night to figure out what’s happening with sex ed because I’m supposed to start teaching it in like 3 weeks and no letters have gone out etc. I think we’re not teaching it, which means I don’t have curriculum for 5 weeks in 7th grade and a week in 8th grade. Well, let’s not kid ourselves…I’ve never really had a usable curriculum for 8th. That’s been the fun part about this year. FUN.

I did do a chunk of weird flowers and bugs on Sunday night, though…

The big background areas have a lot of tiny complicated things on top of them.

But I got those mostly done Sunday. Then last night, I ironed a foot down and realized I’d never ironed the other foot to fabric. I’d obviously forgotten to number it, because every piece had an ‘a’ on it (when I miss numbers, I just pick the closest piece number and add a bunch of letters instead of starting from the 1500s…mostly because I iron in number order most of the time and it’s easier). So I had to trace those pieces, find the fabrics that were in that flesh run, iron them down, and cut them out. Which was not quick. So last night, I didn’t get much done. But here’s the second foot ready to go…

Sigh. More tonight, hopefully.

This morning, though, another meeting. Love meetings. This one will be short and sweet. I have about three things to say about another teacher and then I have work to do. Not fun. Also still necessary. This job has not been fun for most of this year. Sometimes with the kids…but also so much work.

So disheartening. Although this popped up on my Facebook feed last night from 13 years ago…

They all look related. Sweet Calli.

This show is still about to close…at the Hyde Gallery at Grossmont College.

There’s You Pollute Me, hanging strong.

Just keep going. Read books, exercise, get outside, make art. Talk to people, check your reactions and make sure you’re not being unreasonable (I did that before I called this morning’s meeting). Eat well. Or as well as you can considering the circumstances. Speak up for those who can’t. Or shouldn’t because of the repercussions. Hope the eye twitch goes away in June.

More Work…

Yo! April is almost over. That was fast. May is coming…one of the longest months of the school year. A vast expanse of days with testing and kids’ brains already on summer, plus grades, hurtling toward the end of the year, which alternately comes too fast (not enough time to get everything done) and not fast enough (please make it stop). Much like my weekends.

I did start ironing the quilt together…fun stuff. I did some Friday night and a goodly chunk on Saturday, which made up for only 32 minutes on Sunday. Long day there. Friday night in the dirt…

Saturday started in the green…

Got the rakunk done…

Reference to Oryx and Crake by Margaret Atwood…here she is with the whole dirt area…

So that was Saturday afternoon, followed by Saturday night, when I did a few of the DNA bugs I drew…

Sunday I finished those and added a few more bugs and one of the skull flowers.

Definitely progress.

We also hiked on Saturday…we hadn’t been to one of our regular hiking spots since December, and the rains had definitely affected it…lots of flowers, for one…

The path being covered by water, also a thing…

Ducks in there as well. So we wandered around to find the crossing.

And then wandered through the rest of the overgrowth…I don’t think I’ve ever seen a tarantula at the reserve. I’m sure they’ve been there…just not so obviously.

Lots of flowers…I said that…

And caterpillars…

All in the middle of the path for some reason.

And as we were coming back, there must have been some moisture reflecting rainbows in the clouds…

Hard to get photos of rainbows with an old phone camera. But it was there. Just a piece of it though.

Last week, there was an artist talk at the FIG Climate Reckoning show. I couldn’t go because it was during my school day. But my work got in the photos from the talk. There’s You Pollute Me, next to Cindy Zimmerman talking about her work.

And Beyond the Concrete near Jennifer Spencer discussing her piece.

That show comes down next week, so if you want to see it, you should go this week.

Kitten trying to see the dog next door…

Back in her cave.

This describes school and life all too well.

I didn’t sleep well last night. Couldn’t fall asleep. Couldn’t stay asleep. Every Sunday at the moment.

Yeah, I’m a little like this.

Maybe more than a little. Ugh. Gonna go crawl in a hole with my book. My book that is due in two days, so I need to finish it.

This is just damn disturbing.

I don’t know what the fuck we’re thinking at the moment.

Followed by this.

Too many attempts to control women, but not guns. I know what the bigger problem is. Unless the plan is to make women have more babies so we can shoot them? Is that it? Seems silly.

OK. It’s Monday, y’all. Monday with the week stretching out in front of me. Lots of work. Lots of meetings…one art meeting yesterday. It’s where I finished grading all the week’s homework (a plus). I panicked about school a lot over the weekend, mostly lesson planning 8th grade. After Tuesday night, I’ll probably be panicking about 7th grade too, thanks to the idiotic school board members. Dumbassery. Yesterday, I went to the art meeting, which was about 45 minutes away, so drive time and sit time. It’s a good group of artists though, so it’s nice to have that in-person connection again. Then came home and worked on school stuff, took a break to make lunches for the week, more work, then made dinner, more work. Was going to go iron and remembered one thing I hadn’t done for school that I needed for this morning. Damn. More work. Then a bit of ironing.

Today is work then meeting then Zoom book club. I liked the book, so that’s good. Plus more work in there somewhere, because there’s always more work. Plus I need to finish reading that other book. It’s big and I’m only at 78%. A challenge! I like those.

I Will Be a Grownup

Woke up this morning to a really annoying noise. My alarm. All right all right all right. I hear you. Ugh. My fault for going to bed a little late (time flew), but also Friday. The first week back. It should be an interesting day…Ramadan ended and there’s this big party that goes on, Eid, after Ramadan, and a lot of our kids don’t come to school. Interestingly, a lot of them didn’t come yesterday as well. I’m not blaming 420, because that would be crazy, but it’s certainly an interesting coincidence. We’ll see if they show up today…or even next week, because some of them just don’t. I guess that’s OK, because a goodly chunk of those showing up have forgotten that grades exist, which will be a bit of a shocker for them when their parents see their grades. You know. It’s been a rough week for all of us, sure, but for some special kids, I’m not sure what’s going through their heads.

I’ve spent most of the week trying to plan next week or even a bit further ahead than that. Can’t get too far, though, because the school board is still stupid. Also trying to get stuff copied (paper and copier issues). And graded! I’ve been doing a little every OTHER night. Last night was a big no…by the time I got home and done with my Zoom and dinner, I was too exhausted. Wednesday night I managed it though…so hopefully tonight will be a yes? If not, the Man is working tomorrow as well (ugh) and I can just do it then. Knowing you need another break from your job when you just had one? Hmmm. Yeah. My co-teacher and I were finding work examples from times gone by, and reading the names on the assignments brought back feelings of goodness…plus man, the work was so good. Yeah, I know, we only saved the good examples (true), but still. I don’t have as much faith for this crew on the same assignment. We’ll see. I have a really hard time giving up on any one kid…which I guess is a good thing considering my job, but I will be surprised if I get more than two good examples each period this year. We’ll see. They have three more days. The pro is that because of the Zoom year, I have a digital version, so I’m pushing that out to all the absent kids. Back in the day, I would have just excused them from it because I didn’t have another option. Then they miss the learning and the potential for a grade. Now? Not so much.

In quilt news, the last one is at the photographer after last night, and this one has been sorted and is ready to iron together. Which is exciting. The sorting was NOT exciting…it was a long pain in the ass, a necessary pain, but a pain nonetheless. It took two nights and almost 2 hours and 45 minutes.

That’s a long time to be dealing with little tiny pieces. I had to pick it all up, stack all the boxes, in between the two sorting times or cats would have been living in these, jumping out with a million pieces stuck to their fur, dropping them all over the house.

The first night, I got all the bigger pieces out and sorted, which left the tiny ones for last night…

Luckily I had a quilty Zoom call to force me to keep going. There’s over 1500 pieces sorted, ready for ironing.

That’s some tiny shit. And that purple v-shaped one on the left? I’m pretty sure it’s in the wrong box. I do that. I read the number, think about what box it should be in, and then between reading and thinking and actually putting it in the box, my brain rewrites the number. It doesn’t do it often, luckily, but it does. Need the brain firing correctly to do this stuff. How do I know it doesn’t belong there? There’s a whole bunch of them in another box. Probably it should be there. I’ll figure it out while I’m ironing.

So tonight, hopefully I’ll have the energy to start ironing it together. I want to. It doesn’t feel like it right now, though. Right now, I’m not sure I have the energy to walk down to the car.

Ah well. Gonna have to, whether I feel it or not.

Yesterday before school, I remembered I needed some enzymes for the DNA activity, so I made those…

And at the end of the day, I knew I’d need a snack to get me from school to the photographer, and I had this little pie we’d bought as a treat on the Arizona trip and I’d never eaten, so here it is…

It was OK, considering it cost $0.79. Yeah.

Wednesday night, I was trying to meditate before sleepy time, but these guys…

I wanted to turn the light off, but couldn’t reach it without throwing them both off…

Eventually Luna left because she heard her Daddy, so I could stretch out a bit for the lamp switch without tossing the old lady off. Not so much last night…she settled by my head and I tried to encourage her down the side, and she got pissed off and left. OK then. My bed anyway, y’all.

Legit.

Somebody’s Tape…

Hello world. Yesterday afternoon, I managed to function without a nap. It was a miracle. Only 19 days after getting sick. Ah well. Much of it has been a daze. But I have finally also been able to get some school work done in the evening…I realize that to some, this is NOT a plus, which I understand, but at some point, I have to be able to do more work than I was doing. I graded nothing last week, nothing at all, and the previous week, I barely got everything done for report cards. So it was getting a bit ugly in the to-be-graded pile. Still is, but I got through one big assignment. One. Yup. I’m feeling good about that. There’s only 78 to go. Not really. Just feels that way.

In other news, I also managed to stand and trace stuff last night, which is good, because no matter what, the next step in either quilt required standing. Sunday night, I didn’t. I just finished cutting out the first in-progress quilt, the one I’ve been working on since…um…January? Right? Sheesh. January 1. Yeah. Sounds right. And it’s March 15 now? And it’s still just a pile of stuff. Irritating. It took almost 17 hours to cut it all out.

It’s a healthy pile of tiny pieces. Next step is to sort them (have to stand to do that), but if I do that, they’ll be sitting in boxes that I’m going to need for IDK how long. However long it takes me to make this much smaller (is it though?), less complicated (much less than half the pieces anyway) piece. Which has to be done in 50 days. Ha! Fuck me.

I just need to be more efficient than I have been. I am writing that as my body is feeling a level of exhaustion that I haven’t really been able to beat. Yeah. Maybe I’ll put grading off (oh that’s funny).

Anyway, last night, after working on school stuff for about 3 hours, I traced for almost an hour on the new quilt…

88 pieces in 57 minutes. Progress though! I have pilates and book club (on Zoom, thank goodness) tonight, so I’m not sure I will have any energy for anything at all after that. Have faith in my body? Possibly. Still sitting a lot at work. Taking the elevator. Stairs aren’t necessary. Yet. I’m getting there.

Yesterday’s sunrise was pretty.

This morning, it is gray and rainy. Again. We have had lots of rain this year. I’m kind of done with it, even though I know we always need it. Certainly nothing is getting done in the yard because it’s always too wet. Or I’m sick. Some combination of both. We go camping in April…hoping Arizona is dryish by then. But who knows? It’s a short trip, anyway.

I have some pieces in this upcoming show, opening next Tuesday…

I don’t actually know how many pieces I’ll have in this show yet. I dropped off 5, and there will be at least 3. We’ll see next Tuesday, I guess.

So progress, always progress. 13 days of school until Spring Break. One complicated thing this week got less complicated (always good). I’m sure something else will be more complicated; I just don’t know about it yet. Someone delivered a roll of blue tape to my room; I don’t know why. I could email and find out I don’t deserve the roll of blue tape (and the thank you that came with it), or I could just accept it as a gift from the goddess of science classrooms. Yeah, I’ll probably email. Just because I know it’s SOMEBODY’S tape. I don’t think it’s mine, so I don’t think it’s fair to keep it.

Fuzzy Around the Edges

Oh hey. Is it Daylight Savings Time now or Standard Time now? And which is better for my health overall? More daylight, less sleep? I don’t know. I do know that my brain last night was like FUCK THIS and FUCK SLEEP. Which is always helpful when you are going into a full week of school and you’ve been napping every afternoon to try to recover from the school stuff and still recovering from stupid scarlatina (I guess they didn’t like the scarlet fever name or it had too many bad connotations, so they gave it a name that sounds like an Italian cocktail). Yes, I’ll have the scarlatina? With an olive please. Thanks.

The brain is not helping. Did I grade anything this weekend? One thing. I graded one thing. I really have no excuse. I had nothing planned on Saturday. So what did I do? Slept in a bit, spaced out a lot, read my book (very dark, very slasher, but not), and then made a decision about this upcoming show where the curator is on crack and thinks we should be able to drop everything and make a new piece in a weekend. I drew something…

And then I wasted a lot of my Saturday energy on driving to copy this AND going to Home Depot (the second thing is what threw me). Came home and napped. Then cut out the enlarged piece (200% bigger) and decided I didn’t like those hands, so I cut them off…

Added some paper above, below, and to the left, and then drew the rest…

RESISTED THE URGE TO ADD MORE. Seriously. That’s hard. Then numbered it…

It’s got almost 600 pieces? I thought it was closer to 500, but I’m looking at that and I see 595, so I must be dreaming the lower number. And I have 53 days to finish it. Plus I can’t stand up for extended periods of time and the next step is all about the standing. Ugh. I’m not sure what I was thinking except GET BETTER GET BETTER FUCKING GET BETTER. I also napped somewhere in there. Napping every day, but can’t sleep at night? Aargh. That’s school stress brain, actually. It was yelling at me about not grading, and I’m like, well, how the fuck do you think I’m going to grade tomorrow night if I’m so exhausted from not sleeping tonight?

Dumb brain doesn’t listen.

Did I still cut pieces out? Hell yes. It’s sitting down and relaxing. Friday night…

I always think I’m so close to the end and the last few days are like…yes…yes…no. Saturday night (a little fuzzy around the edges there, which is kinda how I felt too)…

And Sunday night…

Full on staring at the bottom of the box there. Almost done. How many hours so far? 16 plus hours of trimming. Not bad. I probably have a little more than an hour left. My goal is to trace for 30 minutes and to cut for 30 minutes. Work on both for a bit. Bribe myself to do the standing. Because right now? I need a nap. Granted, my brain is still protesting the time switch AND it’s Monday AND I didn’t sleep much last night.

The assembly on Friday was an inflatable SkyDome. It was nice…

Also somewhat fuzzy around the edges. Dark in there. It was a good intro to the space unit. Lots of walking to get there, plus crawling into the thing, and then out. I took a semi-nap during 3rd period, I was so exhausted. Any day now, body. Sigh. Fifteen school days until Spring Break. I might sleep for the first five days. It’s possible.

Still Napping

My goodness, we have reached the end of the week. I’m still napping every day after work. Yesterday, I had to do something after work (deliver a bunch of art to an upcoming show), and that was the max of my physical ability. I was supposed to go to a stitching meeting after that and totally had already canceled, which is good, because I drove home and fell asleep for an hour. Listening to the body. Best I can.

I got to talk to my real doc yesterday (video visit). They tried to reschedule it into 4th period 3 times…seriously, they kept calling and saying, “the new time is…” and I’d say, “I’m teaching then…”. Very frustrating. But finally got 15 minutes to go over all the crap that happened and confirm that I will be tired and recovering for at least another 2 weeks. Uh huh. OK. Trying to process that and all the shit that needs to happen. Please don’t expect me to clean house or perhaps even cook? We’ll see. I’m supposed to cook tonight. I have cooked in the last week. Once. Twice. Well, does avocado toast count? Probably not.

Needless to say, although it was my 56th birthday yesterday, we did not really celebrate or party. Really, I persuaded the Man that I needed cooked food instead of pizza (yes, pizza is cooked, but…), and I read my book a bit, slept a large bit, then watched some USS Discovery while figuring out a Seasons activity for the kids next week. Yup. 8th grade is officially planned through…drum roll please…TUESDAY. Fuck me. Maybe Wednesday. Do not recommend.

Hopefully I will be rested tomorrow and we can go out to dinner. Maybe. Because now the Man has a nasty cough and is going to Urgent Care this morning. Ah well. ‘Tis the season of yuck.

I am still in the cutting world…

Wednesday night…lots of green and some skin stuff in there.

Last night, honestly, too much napping and working, so I only had about 35 minutes to cut things out…

Working on some little creatures and eyeball flowers…

It seems like I’m in the 200 and 300s, but I know I flipped the pile at some point, so I think I have more than that left. But I am getting close to the bottom.

I have a bunch of show deadlines coming up. Some of them are frustrating, very little info given; another had a restriction that work had to be made in the last year. Fuck me. Do you have any idea what the last year has been like for teachers? I’m lucky to make 6 pieces a year, and many of those are currently in a show. Plus it’s a themed show? I guess they think I can make a new piece between now and May 1. Maybe? Probably not, the way the day job has been sucking up the moments. Guess I won’t be in that show. We asked for a time extension. I guess not. We want FRESH work. Then you need to pay my bills so I can make art full time.

Simba would appreciate my being home (and awake) more.

The cats too…this is Luna and Nova stalking a bird or a bunny, not sure which.

And this is one of the freesias I planted two years ago because I found them lingering in the garage from IDK how long ago.

Finally enough rain for them to bloom.

Nice image for Friday. We got through the photosynthesis lab yesterday, which is good, because it’s supposed to rain today. We have an in-school field trip for one grade level today. Hoping I don’t collapse from exhaustion until I get home. And then more couch time. The next step on this quilt requires lots of standing, so I need my energy back, dammit. Hmmm. Maybe another nap.

Definitely a Lot…

Hey. So my immune system has decided to take a vacation this year. I was thinking about it and I’ve been sick every month since November. I’ve been to Urgent Care way too many times (not just for being sick); I guess I’m glad I have that option. I might be there again tonight if this sore throat doesn’t calm the fuck down. I had one of these a little over a year ago…again, not COVID, just the sore throat from hell. Not strep either. Just bad. And they’re like, hey, gargle with salt and use a throat lozenge! Um. You think I haven’t thought of those things? I didn’t sleep last night it was so bad. I’ve barely eaten in two days it’s so bad. Soup and oatmeal. I guess I have yogurt too. Warm liquids don’t help. Cold liquids don’t help. Ibuprofen doesn’t help. And the thought of trying to stay home for a day to continue to get better? I literally had nothing for the 7th graders to do, and the 8th graders would’ve taken some serious time to get prepped for ‘on your own’ instead of ‘directed by teacher’. My fault, I’m sure. Tomorrow, I could skivvy off from 8th grade, but 7th grade still needs to do a lab to get to the next step, and you don’t give an unknown sub a lab with those kids unless you want to see a report on the daily news.

Ugh. On top of how shitty I’m feeling, we lost a staff member over the weekend and are expecting kids (and honestly adults) to have a hard time of it. Empathy for those who knew him is easy. It’s dealing with the other kids…who don’t always know what to say, but need to say something, and it’s not always appropriate. I’m hoping everybody is pretty chill today and those who need the emotional support get it. I didn’t know him well, but he was a few years younger than me and this was fairly sudden. Sad for his family and friends. So counselors will be in advisory classes to announce it, they changed the schedule up today, and instead of a staff meeting, we have a pizza party? Not sure I’m up for that. I may ask for permission to go to Urgent Care instead.

I think this might be the first death we’ve had at this school directly. We’ve had students who came here die after they left (usually car crashes and gang activity, sometimes a health thing). Tough on the kids who had him as a teacher.

I didn’t get much of anything done this weekend besides a hefty amount of sleep, which apparently I needed (might still need). I finished ironing on Friday night…

It took 30 hours and 31 minutes to iron all of those pieces to fabric. Very complicated. Very time-consuming.

I used 204 fabrics…

More than usual. Definitely a lot of color and time.

Saturday night, I slept from about 4 PM to Sunday morning at 10 AM. So no art work. Last night, I managed sitting up for some period of time. I did grade things and then I cut out things for a little under an hour…

Doesn’t look like much. Never does. That’s a bird, though. Lots of color in that bird.

Also picked up some of my art…and took a full picture of the bench for Sion.

I forgot to look for the placard that says who painted it. This is in Liberty Station, in Dance Place. There’s painted benches throughout this building and some of the others, like near Visions and the Watercolor gallery.

OK. I am exhausted. I am going to sit a lot, talk quietly, drink a lot of fluids, take naps as needed (not during class, ideally), and hopefully get tested for strep after school. Ugh. Take care of yourselves, people.

Whack.

Didn’t sleep well last night…wind was blowing. Some weirdo winter storm out here, bringing snow (hopefully not to us) and rain and wind (obviously, from last night). I don’t sleep well through storms. Even rain wakes me up. Plus three animals in the bed who all wanted to be touching me (or on me) and then school brain, which needs to shut the fuck up when I’m not actually there or working on school stuff. Seriously, just be quiet so I can have a life. Yesterday was stressful. Lots of strange and not-so-strange things going on. I did come home and finish some stuff I’ve been trying to get done for next week, though, so that was good. Then I can plan the next unit, which will be fast and furious. Reminds me of some of my students.

Preparing for more of the crappy bits today. Hoping for some moments of clarity, where kids explain the things and I can see they’ve been thinking. That’s mostly 8th grade at the moment. A small portion of 7th grade, but mostly not. I think the crazy outweighs the thinking in there unfortunately. Wish me luck with all of that today…I’m already tired. Also, today’s self wishes yesterday’s self had gone to pick up the cat meds, because today’s self remembered she is cooking dinner and the meat needs to marinate for an hour. Uh huh. Well. Yesterday’s self just wanted to put pajamas on and read her book for an hour before starting to work again, so that’s where we’re at.

Maybe today’s self will just NOT work after school (not sure I can afford to do that at the moment). Maybe she will just iron after dinner. Because I have maybe 200 pieces left. It’s close. 26 hours in! Yikes. Crazy.

Here’s Monday night…

Here’s Tuesday night.

I actually pulled all of the pieces out of the box looking for one (which I never found) because I was trying to match something. Gave up on it. It’s not that important.

Lots of fabrics. Lots of colors. I keep adding more. I have a little left to do on her head, plus another arm, two birds, and some giant eggs. Then I’m done and can cut things out for a week or three. Hopefully not three. I’d like to finish another smaller one in there somewhere. Probably not happening. It might, though. We’ll see.

Sleepy Simba last night…

Finally stopped barking.

So on the weekend, after the Skirball and a night in Pasadena, we drove to Riverside to go to the Cheech. The exhibit was of work Cheech had collected over the years. Fascinating, lots of color, artists I didn’t know about, even though I grew up in Los Angeles and got an art degree in Orange County. We didn’t see a lot of local art (we should have) or art from people of color or even art by women…the art history book we used had no women in it at all, but my professor added some stuff. No internet back then, so it was hard to find anything out. Even my Frida Kahlo class was more about Diego Rivera than Frida herself. Truly annoying.

So let’s see how many of these I can add to this post before I have to go to work for a parent meeting.

This is a woodcut, which is pretty amazing. It’s also big. Bietenaladxi naa (Remember Me) by César García Gutiérrez.

When I can find artists’ websites, I’ll link them. Beautiful detail of the skeleton.

These pieces were actually part of a different exhibition in the front of the Cheech, but they caught my eye. This is Rebuilding by Priestly Henry.

This was a fun little piece…

This is the piece that made me want to come to the Cheech…Frank Romero’s Arrest of the Paleteros.

Huge and beautiful. You can follow him on Instagram. Here’s a detail…

It’s not just beautiful; it’s political, about arresting the street vendors in LA.

OK, that’s all I can do today. More next time. I will get through them all. I love the use of color in all of these pieces (well, even when I get to the black and white ones).

I’m not ready for today. The weather is whack. My brain is whack. School is whack. But there’s ironing at the end of it all.

Totally Deserved

Hmmm…sliding into Friday like…oh no, not sliding. I’ve been sprinting for it since Tuesday morning! Yesterday I was at work at 8 AM, by the skin of my toes, and left at 5:30 PM, but came home and after reading for 30 minutes (yes, I set a timer and then finished the chapter I was on when it went off), I started working again (it’s that bad) and finished around 9:15 PM. DO NOT RECOMMEND. ZERO STARS. Ignored the three snotty emails from a parent about something that didn’t happen. I’ll deal with that today. I think I answered ALMOST all of the other emails. Maybe. My science co-teacher and I flipflopped a project yesterday, starting today. Like we’re bonkers, but it makes sense, and we might have figured it out sooner if we were allowed to meet with all our brain cells present (not this week). So I fixed all that, copied a bunch of stuff for that and 8th grade, then came home and created Tuesday’s assignment for 8th grade (still need to copy that), plus graded an academic assignment for three classes. Ate leftovers, sat on the couch for almost 4 hours doing all this crap. I have a desk setup, but it was freezing last night, and we can’t even put the heat on until 6:30 because it’s been costing so much. So a thick sweatshirt, hood up, cats around, get it done.

Some of this stress is because we’re going to be gone for most of two days for art stuff, so I’m trying to get caught up (ha! never happen) before we go. Plus I’ve got some art pickups and deliveries coming up, have to get ready for those, and the trimester ends soon, so I’m just full-on, straight-up panicking, where’s the cookies, losing my mind. Still deep in the depths of planning activities about light waves, haven’t even considered the space unit, never taught that shit before, not sure how it’s gonna roll. At least with light, there’s labs and simulations. Space? We’re just gonna watch Star Trek and give them a test. Klingon or Vulcan? And why? Good answer.

Looking forward to the art-stuff trip though. Deep breaths. Almost there.

I have been ironing every night, despite the chaos. I will not give up on making art because my day job is untenable, unsustainable, unbearable. In the last two nights, I’ve gotten through about 200 pieces, ironing a pigoon (Margaret Atwood, Oryx and Crake) and all its requisite stuff, including goggles (if you were a pigoon, you’d want goggles too. Don’t lie). And an ‘easy’ button. One hundred years in the future, they won’t know what an ‘easy’ button is. I’m OK with that. I’m in the 1100s. And almost 22 hours of ironing. If you’re wondering. I started on January 30th. Not a fast process. Even with 3-day weekends that are sucked up by the day job.

So here’s last night’s progress…

That box keeps getting more and more full. I’ll be trimming over the weekend, at least a little. I think. I’m debating. It’s a pain to travel with stuff to cut. So maybe I’ll just take embroidery (easier in the car) and…well…I know I’ll be doing most of the driving, because the Man gets stressed out in LA, and I don’t. He can drive through Riverside. I’m also taking my book and my school computer. Maybe. On the school stuff. It’s either do some while I’m gone or spend all day Monday doing it. Forty-two days until Spring Break. One hundred and eighteen until summer. I need to get one smaller quilt and another larger one done in that timeframe. Ha! At the rate I’m going? This year sucks.

I’m blessed to have the team I have at work. I can’t imagine how hellacious this would be without them. One of my former teammates (still on the 7th-grade team) called last night because she hadn’t seen me at work for days. Love that. I do miss having lunch with her. She brings stuff for taste tests. Anything to distract us from the stupid. You can’t imagine how happy donuts make us. Sad but true.

This year. Yup.

Apparently I am a meme.

I have a rule that I don’t answer school emails at night for exactly this reason. Sometimes I don’t answer them until my science co-teacher is in the room and can talk me down off the message I was going to send.

It’s fine. Really. I vent because it makes me better able to be calm and productive in the classroom. I’m getting through it. Sometimes I even enjoy it. Sometimes a kid gives me an amazing answer or I see progress with a kid who hasn’t been doing it or I make a connection that wasn’t there before. Sometimes I don’t.

I went to make toast this morning…

The part of my brain that is overwhelmed and wanted toast for breakfast was very sad about this…until it saw that most of the loaf was not so holey. The part of my brain that is creative tells me that I can cook an egg in this for breakfast tomorrow and it will be very nice. So that’s how I get through it all.

To school. Teach magnetic fields, start talking about MRIs. Like you do. Prep stuff for next week. Send stuff to Print Shop for copying. Then teach reptiles and incubators…ironic since I just ironed one the other night. Not ironic. Just normal. Then duty at the crosswalk at the light. Exciting. Set up classroom for next Tuesday, clean up some of the chaos, come home, read my damn book for a while. Work. Pack. Iron some more. Then enjoy some art this weekend. Totally deserved.