Tag: cutting it out

Dysfunctional

My computer doesn’t seem to want to work right today. I’ve restarted it multiple times and it just gets slower and slower. It won’t do what I need it to do. My brain is having similar issues. I’ll be in the middle of a task, leave the room to get something related to that task, and I’ll start a whole new task without even thinking about it. Finish that and then remember the earlier task. It’s school-break brain. Or recovery brain. I’ve written a ton of things down so I don’t forget them…because forgetting is all I do at the moment. Plus there’s just a shitload of things that need doing right now. All the things I put off because I was teaching and there wasn’t time for much else.

Also I’m still so tired. Not sleeping well. Not sleeping long enough. I’ll get there. Just not there yet. Took a nap Friday. Considered it Saturday and Sunday but didn’t have the chance. And right now, I have a dog behind me and a dog next to me. Seems unlikely.

So Friday night, I started ironing Earth…

Saturday, I managed to finish ironing all the Wonder Under to fabric…

I’m pretty sure at some point (not that photo) I organized all the fabrics. But didn’t count them or take a photo (see note about brain above). Oh wait. I did take the photo at least.

Counting though. Hmmm. Could do that now. 114 fabrics. Very few greens. Because it’s in space? Space is not so green? At least in my head it’s not.

Then last night, I started cutting them out.

Didn’t get super far. Was hoping to be further along. Oh well.

Meanwhile the Man is trying to fix the dryer. Cheaper than getting some repair person to come in.

Can’t dry the laundry until he finishes. The part comes in today. Let’s hope it works.

Girlchild is driving across the US, moving from Boston to San Francisco. I’ve been tracking her and her friend Alessia, who is getting her to Denver.

Then her dad is meeting her and helping to drive the rest of the way.

Sorry, Cleveland.

I’m curious how being scared in a gas station bathroom is not a personal record. They’re currently in Nebraska…it’s going to be nice having her in the same state.

Yesterday, we headed over to the parentals for dinner and I actually remembered to take a photo.

There was this weird conglomeration of a 100 or more crows being really loud and flying around the neighbors’ house. Mom and I walked over and the crows were attacking a juvenile hawk. There were two of them. We stood around and eventually the crows left, so now we are crow enemies forever, right? They’ll remember us? The two hawks made it into a tree, but the one that was being attacked was making its I want my mommy cry.

Very strange to see so many crows involved. Nature can be so vengeful. Speaking of…

Seems legit.

OK well I’m on the couch with the ex’s puppy because he’s on a plane to meet the girlchild, I have 78 thousand things to do and can focus on nothing, and I have a webinar in less than two hours. This blogpost has taken forever to write on the iPad (finally gave up on the computer). Puppy has her nose on my arm. So sweet when she’s not trying to eat shit and/or escape. I’ll read for a bit, maybe nap, then be productive in some way. Maybe.

It Almost Doesn’t Matter

Ugh. It’s Friday Yay. Last Friday of the school year with kids. I feel like Ugh though. There are so many things for school that I am trying to keep straight in my head. I’m tired, really tired. I feel like I might just sleep the entire week after we get out of school. And that would be OK. Except for all the shit I have to get done that week…minor issue. All the stuff I haven’t been doing for the last 10 months. That.

But some cool stuff happened yesterday at school…we started testing these toothpick bridges. Some of them are pretty…

Like that’s classic.

By the way, we break them all. I have a bridge graveyard in the back of the room right now.

It held 6 1/2 pounds. Not bad.

But this one. Doesn’t look like much.

27.6 pounds before it broke. Seriously solid beast. Amazing. At one point, I looked up, and the entire classroom was gathered around as the kids said, “put another 1000 ml in it, Ms. Nida.” It was cool. Love moments like that. Holding onto that, because some of the classes are not cool. They’re just hard.

We still have more to break. Monday.

It’s exhausting doing this stuff, but rewarding.

At home, I am trying to keep the focus on the art. I do have grade stuff to do too, but I’ve been trying to get it done at school. Almost done with all of that. It almost doesn’t matter any more. Yay! Until next year. But the thought of 9 weeks with no grading, no worrying about lesson plans on Sunday afternoon, setting up on Friday after school? That’s delightful. No desperate searching for curriculum that makes sense. No ordering materials at the last minute. Lovely.

I got a bunch of Wonder Under cut out Wednesday night during book club and after…

Just a little bit left, but bedtime loomed. Last night, I finished it…

With Kitten for size comparison. That was about an hour of cutting. In total, 5 hours and 22 minutes to cut those out. Tonight, hopefully, I will sort them, and tomorrow, start ironing to fabric. I need to figure out a background fabric. I might need to go buy some tomorrow. Keeping that in mind. Fewer pieces goes faster. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE the big quilts. The next one will be big, I think. Maybe. Gotta look at deadlines and see if there’s anything that I want to make art about.

I did have my stitching meeting last night.

Didn’t get much done. Tired. Distracted. Just worked on the window. Sue Spargo Homegrown. Been working on it for a long time. Will still be working on it next year at this time.

Look! The sisters like each other.

You can’t really see it in this picture, but Luna has a nasty scratch on her nose from her sister…some altercation. We’ve been calling her Harry Potter because it looks like a lightning bolt.

OK. I have to go to school. It’s a field trip day, to the local amusement park (super small, one roller coaster, a few rides, some games). The reward for getting through 8th grade. I’ve never done this field trip before, so that’ll be interesting. But then I come back and continue teaching 7th grade about STDs. Tiring. I’m going to bribe them…good behavior? No quiz. I have one class that will be fine with that. The other one has been awful the last two days. Better yesterday, but still pretty bad. I requested one kid be held out today so I don’t have to deal with him, but I’m pretty much guaranteed to have him next year too. I figure at least he’s the annoyance that you know. There will always be an annoyance (or 20).

Tonight, we’re going to an art opening; tomorrow, the Man has a show. Plus getting grades done and doing art. Close so close to a bit of freedom.

Waiting for Glue to Dry…

  1. Always wear gloves to trim bougainvillea. I have three infected bits in my hand that probably have boug parts in them that need to be dug out. I never learn.
  2. You know you are overwhelmed/tired/done when the email from Chewy that mistakenly tells you that you need to upload the vet authorization elicits an actual surge of anger. I mean, really. It’s not that big a deal. They do already have it. Maybe don’t bite their heads off. Which is something I need to remember for school today. If I can.

I wasn’t planning on trimming the boug. I was going to do the backyard. That’s my reasoning there. The other? I AM done. Mentally. I’m trying not to be, but some of the kids are also done, which is understandable, but if they could just chill out, like most of them are, waiting for glue to dry, instead of trying to put glue all over each other and/or poke each other and/or break the rulers? Yeah. Even in 8th grade, it’s the boys and they can’t just chill. So then I have to babysit stupid behaviors and I don’t have the fucking spoons for that. Seven more days. Two of those are different, not academic, probably easier because of that. IDK what stupid games we’ll be playing on the last day with 8th grade, but I also need to get my room cleaned and locked up, so I’d appreciate more just chilling than I got yesterday.

They’re building toothpick bridges. Hopefully we’ll be testing the first of them tomorrow and then finishing Monday, maybe Tuesday. Friday is a field trip. So it sounds fine, survivable. Until I get to three or four groups of boys.

Some are further along than others…

I’ve always taught sex ed at the end of the year, which keeps kids’ attention pretty well, but my (dumbass) school board limited what we could do this year, so 8th grade needed something interesting that wasn’t hard. More hands-on than brainiac. So this is a good choice, but there are still kids who are messing around. Not a lot. Just enough to drive a tired teacher bonkers.

And y’all, IDK how this bridge is even going to stand up, but that’s not MY problem.

Anyway. So today I’m giving them a short quiz (because I’m a bitch, that’s why…no, because there are actually forces in bridges and I taught them and hopefully this is an easy question…I mean, I think it is, but who the fuck knows what they will do with it) and then they need to get their bridges glued together so we can test some of them tomorrow. I also copied a bunch of mazes to hand kids who are goofing off (if you get a maze, it is because you are not chilling). Meanwhile, all of 7th grade will see an actual childbirth (on video; hard to get guest visitors to do that) and then move on to STDs. Scaring them into abstinence, as one of the teachers said. They weren’t chill yesterday either, but they had a sub in an earlier class and that shit makes them lose their fucking minds.

Yeah. So. I’m done. So done. I need to sleep for like a week straight. And it’s only Wednesday, so it feels like a vast expanse of the week is left.

Pros: It is the middle of the week. The boychild is home so he had the dog in HIS bed last night so I slept five hours straight without waking up. I have lots of Wonder Under to be cutting out, so I can just sit and watch a movie and not think too hard (except I picked a sci fi movie and spent most of it picking apart the science mentally, even though I don’t know enough about space to really do that).

Here’s the Wonder Under once I finished tracing…

Three yards and a bit. Not bad. Normally I can do a yard in an evening, depending on how complicated it is. Lots of big swoopy pieces and a ton of smaller pieces between them. I started cutting on Monday night…didn’t get far.

Last night, I finished the first yard and did the little piece as well…

I read a bunch last night, plus had a late pilates class, and then after I had eaten, while we were still watching our show, I worked on this background…

Of another Sue Spargo quilt, because I will never finish all of them, and that’s OK. This is brainless applique and I should have been cutting out Wonder Under, but my brain was too beleaguered to remember to do that, so this is what I did.

Tonight is a union meeting and book club, though, so IDK what I will get done. Probably more Wonder Under. And the last 23 minutes of that movie I was watching. Trying to decide who’s gonna die. Probably the older guy, even though he’s married, because his algae is all dead, so he can’t do the research anyway. The young woman has too much empathy; plus, she’s the doctor and they’re gonna need her.

Easier to think about that shit than anything else. I’m at 85% in my book too, but I don’t have time to read today. Sigh.

This cat, Nova, came out and sat on everyone yesterday because there were no dogs.

It was sweet. She asks nicely. Puts her paw out with one claw pulling at your shirt or pants. Can I please sit there? Yes. You may.

There was a baby bunny in the yard yesterday. I realize I have three to five barn owls on my property at the moment, so who knows if the baby bunny will survive that…

Certainly my indoor predators were offended by its existence.

Yup. Here’s where I’m at.

It’s not even stress right now. I don’t need to lesson plan, I’m mostly done with grading, I just need kids to not be assholes. Chill the fuck out. Put your head down if you can’t handle it (except don’t fall asleep during the pregnancy video, dammit). Ugh. I started planning next year’s calendar and I’m noting the issues. Not that there are solutions to the end of the year. Ever.

OK. Bridge building, testing, pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections or diseases or whatever. Union meeting. Book club. Maybe water and/or do knee exercises in between that, if there’s time. Also need to pick up cat meds and go to Home Depot and maybe my quilt will be ready for pick up sometime soon? Who knows. I do need to go to school though. Like now. It’s my job.

Drawing in My Head…

I think I am going to go to sleep tonight and wake up sometime next Wednesday. And hopefully all the things I need to do and/or have forgotten to do will magically be done and I will feel refreshed and ready to take on the last 9 weeks of school. Damn, that sounds long. Not as long as 38 weeks, but long. I’ve managed to grade a ton of stuff in the last three weeks, so I will go into break with two academic assignments, a couple of effort questions, and (so far) 4 classes of packets. I’ve finished one of the 8th grade packets; they’re small and easy to grade. 7th grade is probably coming home with me. I have to clean my room enough so that they can clean the floors (finally! last cleaned in August), and there’s a 90-minute talent show assembly today, so both of those things are exhausting. But doable. I can see the light! At the end of a long tunnel. It’ll be fine. Bad news the other day was bad. But not devastating. Ah well. Change. It’s neverending. Just keeps happening. Roll with it. Maybe roll over on your back and look like a dead bug, but roll nonetheless.

Artwise, the break is looking awesome. There’s a show I want to go see, I have two quilts ready to iron together, one of which needs to be done by the time break is over, I’m going to have time to draw the two quilts that are hanging out in my head at the moment. One of them is school shootings again. Because you know what? They haven’t stopped.

When I have problems falling asleep or falling back to sleep at night, I imagine where I am in the current quilt and walk myself through the next steps. My counselor said I could also think about the next quilt. That might have been a mistake. I drew an entire anti-gun/pro-kid quilt in my head the other night and now I have to draw it for real.

So much truth. And this one is heartbreaking.

Certainly I think about whether I’ll get to retirement without living through a school shooting at my own school. I think all teachers probably do. It’s exhausting on top of everything else we do.

So there’s all that, and then there’s making art. I actually have a second quilt that drew itself in my head in the last week, so I have some drawing to do at some point.

Wednesday night, I cut stuff out.

I was feeling close to done, and sure enough, last night, I finished.

It took 6 hours and 45 minutes over the last week. Tonight I’ll sort them and clean up in the studio a little bit so I can iron. I don’t know if I’ll have the energy to start ironing, but if I don’t tonight, I will tomorrow. Because I don’t have to grade anything tomorrow or lesson plan anything. I will need to at some point during break, but it doesn’t have to be tomorrow. Looking forward to a break from all that work, every day, nonstop, panicking regularly about what the fuck I’m doing in 8th grade. Don’t want to normalize that.

I find this funny, but I don’t think I’m either. There’s a regular disagreement about silverware, but whatever.

Oh yeah! One of my students painted me this…

She also wrote me a long note on the back and that helped me get through a long day. Kids are good. In general. Even the annoying ones (which she is not).

Another kid I’ve had for almost 2 years now actually showed up in my classroom after school and asked for help (!) after never doing that before, and then she went home and did the thing and emailed me she was done and I am so damn proud of her for doing all that. She’s super shy and quiet and honestly anxious maybe frightened and I’m so happy she got to that point. A good day if that’s all I look at (I should learn to just look at that and not the annoying tiresome bits, yeah?).

Simba has a new friend…

My ex got a new dog, a puppy. Anwen is 14 weeks, so this is a good comparison for the future when she is full grown next to Simba, who is middle-aged at this point. She’s adorable and sweet and I’m looking forward to seeing her grow up.

OK. It’s the final countdown. Eight hours until they are gone and I am finalizing my disaster of a room. Spring Break is a reset button. Get back to eating healthy and more exercise. REST for fuck’s sake. Let my teaching brain have a break. It’s time.

Reading a Lot…

There’s nothing like an 8 PM email from your principal saying there’s a meeting tomorrow morning to set off a bunch of teachers, especially right after the Nashville shooting. Should we be calling it a shooting? Or a killing? I feel like the latter is relevant. Seven guns. Seriously Tennessee. WTF. Sigh. Anyway, I’m sure it’s something like last year, where they promoted one of our admin right out of our school…in March…with three months left to go, leaving us with an open position right when our kids don’t need change. So it’ll be that. I’m just a lowly teacher; I can’t possibly understand the business acumen that goes into pulling a stable authority figure out of a middle school this close to the end of the year.

Also, my school board is populated with idiots who don’t want us to teach sex ed, despite the state law requiring certain things be taught. I’m glad that law exists so the stupidity that seems to permeate this nation can’t keep my kids from getting information they need to be healthy in the future (or for some of them, right now, because they already need it). Unfortunately, the majority of my school board IS that stupid. So either we’re not teaching it (and getting fined by the state, because that money couldn’t be used to educate children instead of glorifying the opinions of a few small-minded folks) or we’re teaching an older version with less offensive stuff in it (don’t even ask). I do know we’re supposed to be teaching it fairly soon after Spring Break, so these dumbasses need to be making a logical decision soon or we will have to come up with 5 weeks of curriculum that doesn’t currently exist, and that we don’t have the mental energy to create.

Somewhat frustrated this morning. Also this.

Three more days of school until break. Until I break.

I’m still cutting things out, which is good, because I am sitting and watching shows that don’t require a lot of mental energy. Monday night…after grading…

Tuesday night was complicated. I had physical therapy and then came home and finished my book instead of grading. So maybe it wasn’t complicated. I was going to grade, but then the flurry of texts came through about the email from the principal, and I had lost my impetus to grade. Maybe best. So I cut more stuff out.

It looks different. Still not obviously halfway, but I think it is? Not sure. Can’t tell.

I did a little on this too, until I remembered I had stuff to cut out.

Probably should finish this before we go camping, because it’s almost done anyway. I’ve got time though. We’re not camping until Easter weekend.

After PT, I went shoe shopping, which just means I tried on some shoes and then bought the same ones I already own because they were the most comfortable (the old pair is falling apart). Really, I just did it for the cats, so they’d have a bag and some boxes to hang out in. Luna appreciated it.

So did Nova…

She has an obsession with moths and geckos…

Hopefully my windowsill plants will survive her obsession. It’s been iffy at times.

I need to set up the rest of a lab this morning. I did most of it yesterday, but I need water at 65 degrees Celsius (I think?) and a bunch of pipettes in tubes that currently have lids on them. So 20 lids off, 60 pipettes in, water in, water bath on, then meeting of unknowness, then lab all morning, I don’t remember what in the afternoon, then pilates. I’m cooking dinner, I need to grade the thing I couldn’t grade last night (hoping mental status is more focused, ha!), then more cutting of the things. Sleep. If I’m lucky. I’m reading a lot these days; seems to help.

Fuzzy Around the Edges

Oh hey. Is it Daylight Savings Time now or Standard Time now? And which is better for my health overall? More daylight, less sleep? I don’t know. I do know that my brain last night was like FUCK THIS and FUCK SLEEP. Which is always helpful when you are going into a full week of school and you’ve been napping every afternoon to try to recover from the school stuff and still recovering from stupid scarlatina (I guess they didn’t like the scarlet fever name or it had too many bad connotations, so they gave it a name that sounds like an Italian cocktail). Yes, I’ll have the scarlatina? With an olive please. Thanks.

The brain is not helping. Did I grade anything this weekend? One thing. I graded one thing. I really have no excuse. I had nothing planned on Saturday. So what did I do? Slept in a bit, spaced out a lot, read my book (very dark, very slasher, but not), and then made a decision about this upcoming show where the curator is on crack and thinks we should be able to drop everything and make a new piece in a weekend. I drew something…

And then I wasted a lot of my Saturday energy on driving to copy this AND going to Home Depot (the second thing is what threw me). Came home and napped. Then cut out the enlarged piece (200% bigger) and decided I didn’t like those hands, so I cut them off…

Added some paper above, below, and to the left, and then drew the rest…

RESISTED THE URGE TO ADD MORE. Seriously. That’s hard. Then numbered it…

It’s got almost 600 pieces? I thought it was closer to 500, but I’m looking at that and I see 595, so I must be dreaming the lower number. And I have 53 days to finish it. Plus I can’t stand up for extended periods of time and the next step is all about the standing. Ugh. I’m not sure what I was thinking except GET BETTER GET BETTER FUCKING GET BETTER. I also napped somewhere in there. Napping every day, but can’t sleep at night? Aargh. That’s school stress brain, actually. It was yelling at me about not grading, and I’m like, well, how the fuck do you think I’m going to grade tomorrow night if I’m so exhausted from not sleeping tonight?

Dumb brain doesn’t listen.

Did I still cut pieces out? Hell yes. It’s sitting down and relaxing. Friday night…

I always think I’m so close to the end and the last few days are like…yes…yes…no. Saturday night (a little fuzzy around the edges there, which is kinda how I felt too)…

And Sunday night…

Full on staring at the bottom of the box there. Almost done. How many hours so far? 16 plus hours of trimming. Not bad. I probably have a little more than an hour left. My goal is to trace for 30 minutes and to cut for 30 minutes. Work on both for a bit. Bribe myself to do the standing. Because right now? I need a nap. Granted, my brain is still protesting the time switch AND it’s Monday AND I didn’t sleep much last night.

The assembly on Friday was an inflatable SkyDome. It was nice…

Also somewhat fuzzy around the edges. Dark in there. It was a good intro to the space unit. Lots of walking to get there, plus crawling into the thing, and then out. I took a semi-nap during 3rd period, I was so exhausted. Any day now, body. Sigh. Fifteen school days until Spring Break. I might sleep for the first five days. It’s possible.

Slow but…

Oh yeah. Still recovering. Feel like it’s gonna be a while until I feel back to normal. The skin is still prickly, but more obviously, I’m absolutely exhausted at the end of the day. Exhausted enough to come home and nap the last two days. Today will be harder for that because there’s a union meeting, but I’m hoping the other two reps show up and I can leave early. We’ll see how that goes.

The pro of coming back to school is that I was able to get stuff organized from my kids, force them to turn stuff in and realize oh yeah, it counted, plus trying to come up with random shit they can do while I’m gone? That is just exhausting and I’m glad to be done with it. That said, the next two days in 8th grade are very low maintenance for me, which is great…I can sit and grade 7th-grade stuff. 7th grade is a lab today, but it’s not hard. The hardest part is the stupid behaviors that I’m still fighting this many months into school. Still clapping randomly and throwing pencils. These are our future what? Sigh.

OK well, improvement on all fronts otherwise. And falling asleep with the prickly skin is easy, because I’m exhausted.

Monday night, I seemed to cut out enough that I could finally see progress…

Bottom left is what’s left to be cut, bottom right is cut out. I spent about 2 hours cutting Monday night. Came home, read, napped, worked a little, then cut stuff out until bedtime.

I didn’t get any done last night…we got tickets to Neil Degrasse Tyson’s lecture about Bizarre Astronomy about 4 or 5 months ago. Little did we know what a shit show of a week it would be, but after a nap, we met for food and then headed down for a 2-hour lecture on astrophysics.

Like you do. I’m about as tired as I look. It was good though. I teach space science next week, for almost approximately exactly a week. We’re running out of time. Even though we are only 2/3 of the way through the school year, state testing for science is in May. Crazy shit. Luckily, the relief is that I have taught genetics and natural selection before. I even have lessons and tables of contents and vocab. Sort of. Long enough ago that I’m gonna have to wiggle a little, but not as much as creating something from scratch, which is what I’ve been doing since the beginning of the year. I’m impressed by the rest of my team. They don’t seem to be losing it as much as I am. One has a slightly better counterpart team in 8th grade…my one person is awesome, but has 3 littles and is as buried as I am. The other one, well, died. But wasn’t really working with us anyway. I don’t know. Sometimes I feel like it’s just me. But at least I feel like I understand this part of the curriculum. Although it would make way more sense to teach the skin cancer part of the light unit AFTER you teach them DNA. We used to do DNA in 7th, then it went to 6th, now it’s all in 8th grade, and it feels really late. They don’t have any idea what it is. Writing notes in the calendar for next year. Stupid curriculum doesn’t even call it DNA…it calls it genetic material. Why are we pulling that punch? Don’t get it.

So I didn’t cut anything out last night. I came home, made a relaxing cup of tea, drank it, and went to bed. Sounds lovely, yeah? Thinking.

My birthday is this week. I have these dragonfruit plants that I’ve had for years but didn’t have the right supports. I finally went out and bought the wood, I think like 6 months ago, and my ex made them for my birthday. I just need to plant them this weekend and then hopefully we can get these beauties to flower in the next year. Certainly they are not happy in the pots they’re in.

OK. Work. Sit a lot (still). Get stuff done. Lots of it. Then come home, read, and nap. Then pack up 5 quilts for delivery tomorrow. Yikes, tomorrow is a little busier than I need too. Ah well. At least I am up and out of bed. Recovery slow but happening.

Some Definition of Done

Oh lordy. ‘Tis early. I know not for some, but I am truly not a morning person, and it is still dark. I lost my temporary crown earlier this week, and although I’d love to ignore it until my appointment for the permanent crown, that area is sensitive to cold liquids…or even regular tap-water temperature…enough to give me a rancid ache from jaw to eyeball every time I drink something cooler than hot tea. So I made the only appointment I could, at freakin’ 7 AM. So I can guarantee getting to school on time, and also guarantee a difficult mood for me all day. Not sure I can drink enough tea to make up for that.

My brain was already fuzzy on how to do the things. I unplugged my computer at work last night, ready to put it in the bag so I could grade more roller coasters. Brought all the roller coaster drawings home. Left the computer at school. Damn. OK. Guess I’ll be grading those this weekend instead. Ah well.

I’m now sitting in the parking lot at the dentist because they aren’t open yet. It’s a delightful 37 degrees out there. Someday I’ll remember to put a real jacket on for school. This winter has been much colder than usual.

Anyway, I’ve been cutting stuff out every night, in between three Zooms on Wednesday and three on Thursday. Everything hit this week apparently.

Never looks like much. At least you can see the piles getting bigger.

Or can you…

After last night, I had passed the halfway mark. This is just short of three yards. Mostly I got that far because I forgot the school computer or I would’ve done some grading. If I don’t grade constantly, I get really far behind. This week has sucked for feeling caught up.

I did finish the first tattoo block, so that was cool.

Found the next drawing…need to trace it onto freezer paper and pick some fabrics.

Got 18 roller coasters in progress in class…mostly chaos.

Another week and they’ll be done. For some definition of done. Well the dentist was fast and hopefully, I’ll wake up in time to teach. And remember my computer this weekend. Can’t say I’m feeling up to teaching at the moment. Drink the tea. Make more.

Delightfully Wrong…

I don’t remember weeks feeling so long in the first two days before. I don’t remember feeling so tired after Tuesday. Tuesdays are the big planning days for science, so maybe that’s it? I don’t know. Or it was the feeling as I drove away from school yesterday that the slog that is 7th grade at the moment will just continue until I die. Which it won’t. Really. I’m sure of that. Even 8th grade had a moment yesterday…actually, just one table of 8th graders had a moment, where they realized they had no idea what to do and I wasn’t going to help them (we were building a roller coaster element and they talked during the instructions, so I pointed them to the relevant videos). They kept begging people around them to help them and I told them no (multiple people)…they need to listen. Hopefully today is better, or I will separate their group and stick each of them into another group for being idiots. Everyone else was pretty much awesome (although there were some tables I had to direct to involve themselves). 7th grade though. Ugh. Cried when driving away from school again. Just frustrating as fuck. Behaviors and lack of work completion. We’re on the third day of trying to finish something that should have taken a day and a half. Not listening. Not getting it because not listening. And a few behaviors that honestly just drive me bonkers. So yeah. I guess I’m at a point where about 2 days a week, those 2 classes aren’t half bad. And 3 days a week, they fucking suck. Which makes ME feel like I suck. Which maybe I do. Or maybe it’s just a bad combination of kids, time of day, and COVID crap. UGH.

I come home and grade roller coaster drawings, though, and although it’s kind of a pain in the ass, it’s also mostly enjoyable seeing what kids created. That’s the art part of my brain. Although I don’t like teaching art…well, to people who don’t like to do art. Teaching art to the already artsy isn’t that bad.

I’ve made it to the cutting-out stage. I started Monday night and got (I thought) more than halfway through a yard. In fact, I thought I was pretty close to done with it…

Stupidly, I covered up what I had actually cut with what was left to be cut. Which doesn’t look like much. Except I think it was all the tiny pieces and the bigger pieces got cut first? I don’t know. Because it took me another hour last night to finish it up…

So that is 2 hours of cutting? Yup. 2 hours and 2 minutes. Doesn’t look like much. 4 1/2 yards to go. Fussy little shit pieces. Realistically…let’s see…I have another Zoom meeting tonight (2 book clubs in one week seems a mistake)…I actually have 3 Zoom meetings today AND school and physical therapy. Long. So I might get another hour done on this. Thursday is delightfully open (Zoom meeting but I could cut things out if I wanted to), so is Friday…so maybe I’ll be done cutting by Monday? That’s my guess. I was wrong by two days on the tracing, so I’ll be delightfully wrong again if that’s how it rolls. It’s not a very exciting process to watch. Then sort Monday night? Start ironing to fabric Tuesday. Wait. Do I have a background big enough? Probably not. Must think that through, because the damn quilt store is not open late enough during the week for me to go. Still. OK. So that needs to happen Saturday. Put it on the calendar. Saturday is already chunky. Good to know. I do sometimes plan ahead.

I’ve been working on this (not my design!) after dinner, while we watch our daily whatever-the-fuck-we’re-watching (Kindred…which ended quite precipitously).

I reduced it in size 50% because I didn’t want a huge quilt, and the letters are fucking tiny.

But not undoable. I appreciate the wonkiness of hand applique. I know the foundation-paper-piecing people are having heart attacks with the lack of straight lines, but I’m good. I like to hand applique and I found two things I was working on (there are 17 million things I’m working on, just to be clear) and decided I wanted to really work on them and not just put them in a box and pretend I was working on them.

There, that’s the closest to a resolution you’ll get out of me in 2023, until August, when teachers do their resolutions.

The boychild has been crafting wood…these are spoons 3 and 4. Or spoon 3 and scoop 1.

They’re quite pretty. He has no desire to make a business out of it. CalFire has downtime, and this is how he uses it. Seems appropriate to me. He’s got about three or four more weeks, and then he’s off for three months. That will be weird. Or very spoony.

OK. Today. Yeah. Building more roller coaster stuff…straight track and loops today. Then notes in 7th grade. Woo hoo. That will go down well. Who am I kidding? Very little goes down well. Kid meeting in the morning, sex-ed meeting in the afternoon (chaos of a district that would probably prefer NOT to teach it), then PT and book club. Oh yeah, and I popped my temporary crown off, so drinking cold things hurts like a bitch and IDK when I can get into the dentist before it’s time to put the permanent crown on anyway, so that’s a possible week and a half of some disturbing occasional pain. And the rash on the knee from the adhesive crap is not getting better. I’ve tried cortisone and benadryl and neither is helping. Emailing the doc on that one.

In positive news, I’ve been reading a lot. It’s a nice place to be, in a fantasy world somewhere (even one filled with murders) where there isn’t a pile of grading papers and lesson planning threatening to take you under. I’ll stay there for a while.

Way Less Than Optimal…

WordPress is now adding a question to the previously blank blogpost, in case I logged in to write a post and had no idea what to write about. I guess that might happen. Maybe? The question is “what would I want to change about myself?” Um. So many things. That I’m not gonna write about here. But thanks.

This last weekend was the weekend of no sleep. There’s a skunk who has decided that late nights outside the bedroom window are exciting, and the little dog is also excited about this; in fact, everyone except the humans who have to function during the day and can’t nap for endless hours is excited. So I’m running on way less than optimal sleep. On a Monday. Ten school days before Winter Break. Also there’s an on-campus field trip thing tomorrow that only HALF of my 7th graders can go to and I haven’t dealt with that AT ALL and I’m not sure exactly HOW to deal with it because my teacher’s aide has been out and I occasionally am getting a sub, and I can’t send my kids if I don’t have a SECA that day. So how do I present that to a bunch of already problematic kids? Um you MIGHT get to do something cool and fun but only HALF of you get to go tomorrow, the rest have to wait until APRIL and OMG you might NOT get to go if we continue to have too many people out. Yeah. Sounds great.

I worked a lot on school stuff this weekend. The pro is that I am caught up (almost) on grading…I have about 6 redoes that need grading and that’s it. For today anyway. The con is that I didn’t plan all the way through the end of next week…this shit just takes too long. Everything needs editing because it’s too complicated, not helpful, and it’s PDF files, so the editing takes even longer. I beg steal and borrow from other stuff we’ve done to try to help with the planning, and it’s still so fucking time-consuming. I think I spent about 9 hours on the day job this weekend. Ugh.

I did also go to my guild’s holiday party. I took 3 fat quarters for that game they play (didn’t win…but I did last year, so I’m OK with that), but my prize for going to the party was 2 half yards. For you non-quilt-math people, I came out with an extra fat quarter. So that’s fun. We made fabric ornaments…

Which was fun. I did not pick holiday fabrics. And Kitten has already absconded with this. I need to get a hanger on it and get the tree in from outside so she will be less likely to steal it.

I spent a goodly few hours cutting stuff out this weekend…

Friday night with Kitten…

Saturday night after dinner…

And last night after all the things. I’m in the sky. So I cut out basically in opposite order from ironing, although I dumped everything into a bigger bin at some point, so I can see sky and flesh in there, and I think flesh was ironed after sky. So there’s still a big chunk of stuff, but I can see the bottom of the bin, so I’m getting close. Probably not tonight, but maybe tomorrow night. This thing has a hard deadline, so I’m really trying to stay on top of it. I’m behind my original schedule already. Sigh. When am I ever NOT behind? In everything really.

Kitten has been following me around…

This was Friday night’s sleep.

The other two are still cuddling against the cold…

Until Nova wants to sleep in the bedroom, and then Luna loses her fucking mind.

This guy won’t let anyone sleep because of that skunk…

Luckily, boychild is home tonight and can take over…the skunk doesn’t like the dirt outside HIS room as much as the dirt outside MY room. And then maybe I can sleep through the night. That would be nice. Seriously feels like there’s sand in my eyes. So tired.

Saturday night…finishing a drawing from the previous weekend, I think.

I don’t know that it’s actually finished. But I’m finished with it.

Too true below…

I am going in to the doc to have them tell me my knee is royally fucked and they will ask me about my period. The one I haven’t had for like 5+ years. I don’t have a clue when the last one was. Fun stuff.

Last night’s sky was (as always) much prettier in person than my camera will show…

Need a new phone. Sigh to that as well. Just paid the property taxes. At least I could afford that.

OK. Staff meetings today. One grade is doing an assessment (they will be fine). The other grade will have to read by themselves to fill out a chart. So that’s gonna go well. Independent anything has been difficult for them this year. It’s exhausting. But it’s short and I’m not cooking tonight, so maybe I can get more planning done and then cut stuff out for longer. That would be nice. That’s my goal then.