I’m a Big Girl…

Hey. It’s Friday. I say this once a week. I saw three squirrels cavorting on the slope this morning. I’ve only ever seen two at a time, mostly one. This was definitely three. Fun times. I definitely have the trees for it. And the one I’m watching right now? Definitely a young one. Not super tiny, but not an adult. Cool morning focus…on nature (even destructive nature) rather than the shitshow that is school right now. Behaviors have ramped up in all the classes, and I don’t think teaching sex ed early is helping. The baby squirrel went up one of the trees and is now coming down another one. Adorable little beast. Unlike boys during sex ed. I shouldn’t say ALL boys, because it’s not. But it’s a healthy number of them. Speaking of not all boys but way too many of them…

I mean, I guess I’m alternately shocked and not surprised at all that a ton of men checked into an online rape academy. Certainly I’m holding other men responsible for shutting that shit down if they ever get a hint of someone they know visiting that, but also, why is it allowed to exist? I’d love to have all those men outed. Names published. Fired from jobs. As we teach sex ed and little boys write on the question cards, “how many holes on a girl can I put my dick into?” Seriously disturbing sometimes. Also there has been a huge thing on consent, with parents monitoring kids’ phones and the kids saying they don’t have their consent, (and my laughing my ass off, because who pays for your damn phones and phone bills, you sweet dingbats), and then I explain how you can’t give consent under 18. And you know, it’s always the boys yelling, Bill touched me without my consent; can I hit him? Can I sue him? And the girls are sitting quietly in their chairs. I do mostly clump boys together on one side, girls on the other. Kids get to choose one person to sit with and there are some boy/girl combos. One set is dating and I warned him; usually I don’t let them sit together, but I think this pair is OK. The other pairs are friends and that is their support system. But one (annoying) boy noticed yesterday (on Day 4) and yelled out about it (because apparently we have to yell everything out), and one of the girls answered, “Maybe we just wanted to sit with our friends so we don’t have to listen to you,” and I’m with her on that. I’m kind of done with it, and we’re not even halfway through. My voice is shot; my patience is heading for the basement level. Deep breaths. It’s Friday. I can do it. I’m teaching pregnancy today. That should shut them up.

Artwise, I’m still embroidering. I have a lot done (it doesn’t look like a lot though)…

I finished that blue-green color and the lighter purple, and started the bright pink.

Then I need to find a proper purple; then sequins and beads. Another week? I may pause and do bug legs for a few days. I was too tired for them. They require thought and I’ve been doing yardwork every night and then grading and barely starting embroidery at 9:30 PM and hardly getting an hour in. Ugh.

I did go to ceramics last night because I have physical therapy for my knee after school today and then a show tonight (UGH).

She’s got two arms now and roughouts for hands. I’m trying to do hands differently…put something in them and then carve the fingers, because the fingers are always breaking. We’ll see how that goes. I have to make sure it doesn’t dry out too much so I can’t carve it, and my original plan for the arms changed mid-arm and then I still don’t have enough shelf space available to dry this or start the head and originally there was going to be a barn owl on the head/shoulders and I’m not sure how to pull that off. SO. Yeah. I’m rethinking.

She looks like she’s doing a low row in pilates. ANYWAY. I’ll get there. I don’t plan much in ceramics. That’s the point for me. Brain loosey goosey.

Speaking of loosey goosey, here’s Scribble.

She’s a sweetheart. But still kitteny.

Hey so I finished my taxes a week or so ago and I’m still pissed off that I’m paying for a war. And ICE. And those dumbass goons in the government who quote random shit and say even more random shit. Also my right eye started twitching today and I blame all of this: school and world.

Unfortunately, the monkeys are mine. Every day. In class.

Another photo of my piece at the No Boundaries exhibit at the Virginia Quilt Museum.

And my Stitchpunk piece at Texas Tech University in Lubbock. I always forget that they’re traveling around, although hopefully I’ll see this one in Oregon this summer. Or is that Fierce Planets? I can’t remember.

Woman 3.0. Hopefully dealing with fewer stupid men online.

Leaving you with Simba AFTER I stopped rubbing his belly.

No judgement in that face. I did rub his belly for a long time (not long enough, lady).

OK. Teaching pregnancy today. No videos of women giving birth, unfortunately. The school board thinks that’s too much. I think it scares them and it’s useful. Plus it gives me a break from talking. I talk NONSTOP for this unit with the new curriculum. Yesterday a boy yelled out, “Pregnancy, Why the fuck do we need to learn about that?!”. I calmly said, “well, I guess you never want to have sex with a woman then.” Fun times, y’all, fun times. After teaching that all day (it’s OK, the one class that got to the anatomy review yesterday shut up SO FAST…it was joyful), I will get my knee poked and prodded again, then remember to pick up my insulin (if I forget, it’s OK; I’ll be back tomorrow for the boob squeeze, version 1). Then the Man said I should NAP for the show tonight. Four hours long. But there’s a taco truck. But the three songs he’s in are the last of 43? So holy crap, bring my book and go read in a corner? We’ll see how I feel. Currently I feel like crawling into a pillow fort, but that’s not an option. I’m a big girl and I need to do all the things.

Art Will Be at the End of It…

It seems to be Monday again. Some cruel joke. We start sex ed today, a full 6 weeks early, and I am so not ready. I have 32 kids opted out (I think…something like that)…I have one class that only has 6 girls left (girls opt out more than boys). I clustered them in a little pod, like wagons circled together for protection. Occasionally a girl wants to sit with a boy. Some make total sense, and one this year is a couple…I don’t think they realize how awkward it will get when we start talking about how pregnancy happens and STIs present. I don’t usually let the couples sit together, but we’ll see how this works. Big class. Not a lot of places to put him.

So there’s that. I’m totally behind in grading because I did not have any time this weekend for it (or motivation; let’s be real). I’ll need to be a little more on top of it this week. Somehow. Ugh. I’m too tired for all this shit.

So what did I do this weekend? I picked up quilts and went to an art group meeting and went to dinner at my parents because my brother is here visiting and that’s really it. I was out of it for most of Saturday, even though I did things. Stitching-wise, I worked on everything. I finished the edges of the 5 bugs…

Now they all need legs…well, except the ladybug. She’s got them already.

Pink or green legs? I’m thinking lime green.

This one looks really weird without the rest of its leg parts.

Some of them also need antennae. Maybe that’s tonight’s project.

Then Saturday, at the artist meeting, where I saw an artist’s studio that would be lovely, yes thank you, I would like that much room…I worked on this…

I took an improv quilt class last January? Or the year before? Finished the top and went, eh, I’m not really an improv quilter, what am I going to do with this? So I started stitching on it last summer, put it down after that residency, but picked it up for this meeting and did some more stitching. Because my brain is all over the map at the moment. Proof of that: last night, I was working on the pink head again…

Scribble is not so helpful. But I did pull out all the beads and found the sequins. I’m still doing thread stuff right now though. It takes forever.

The ceramic piece got more stuff on the front…

As I watched this…

Which was awesome and awe-inspiring and all that good stuff. Unlike the rest of everything.

Ok. I am really tired still. Blood sugar has been crashing at night, so I’m reducing my insulin to see if that helps. It’s exhausting to deal with. I didn’t get any yard work done this weekend, so hopefully I will later this week. I’ve got some ceramics time built in. I’m going to need to grade stuff. I need legs for the bugs and more embroidery all over the place. This week is less busy than last week…well, at least at the moment, so that should help. Today is just the intro to sex ed, so it’s mostly my telling them how all the things work and how not to piss me off while I’m teaching it (fun times, y’all…some of the boys lose their freakin’ minds). There are a couple of kids I won’t mind not seeing for two weeks, honestly, so that’s a plus. Anyway…art will be at the end of it and that’s always a good thing, even if I’m jumping all over the place with projects. There’s a reason for the jumping and I’ll get all these little projects done eventually and get onto a big quilt…hopefully by June. Which is a long way away unfortunately. Sigh.

Juggling

So we’ve been back at school for two whole days. It hasn’t been particularly difficult (well, staff meetings hurt my brain…)…actually, here’s a legit commentary on staff meetings.

I’m still obsessing over the word ‘justify’ and what it really means and how it doesn’t mean what people say it means and this is why when you tell a word person that they have to use a particular word, said person will obsess over that word for the next 48 hours and then refuse to use it. It’s OK…it’s mostly an inner conversation that makes me just refuse to do a lot of things (or care sometimes, which is really hard). We start sex ed next week and we’re not ready and maybe it will all just magically get organized, but I find that rarely happens. I’m bringing home piles of work every night, trying to get caught up with all the assignments kids didn’t turn in before break because they left early for Eid or just because their parents don’t think two weeks is enough time to have off…they need two weeks and two days. More work for us, of course, or we could just not teach anything two days before any break, which seems stupid. Anyway, my frustrations with the system aside, hoping the next few weeks of teaching are fairly low-key. We should probably plan the stuff for after sex ed though, and I’m not sure what that looks like.

I made it to ceramics on Monday and did some things on the front of the torso…

It wasn’t what I was originally planning on doing, but it’s what happened. Which is pretty much how ceramics works for me.

I also quilting bugs over two nights…stitch down, pinbasting, and outlining the first night, then quilting the backgrounds last night.

Tonight will be legs…or trimming and then legs? Not sure. Might be easier if I trim first.

One of my students drew me.

Side part not captured. Nice though. She’s super quiet and never asks questions, but draws really well, so I put little comments on her drawings.

Last night after dinner, while watching weird German time travel…

Scribble kept reaching out toward Nova with her paw, suspect not in a gentle, loving way, but it a ‘get off my mom’ way.

This is one of the hardest parts of going back to school…wearing a bra all day again.

I don’t want to be buried as a body anyway, but don’t cremate me with a bra on either. I don’t want that shit anywhere near me.

OK. Today is long. Meeting this morning. I actually have a mental bet on whether admin actually shows up. Hope they surprise me. Then teaching natural selection all day, not bad, I enjoy it. Peppered moths today, maybe giraffes. Yesterday was dogs and pigeons (had to explain what a pigeon was to a large portion of the classes). Then I have pilates and book club. Don’t think I’ll get much grading done unfortunately. Ah well. I do my best. Then I’ll have to decide whether to trim the quilts and maybe put the edge on them before legs? I think it will be easier to see the available leg space if I do it that way. Also have to see if I have the canvases I put these on. Enough of them. I feel like I won’t have enough and will have to solve that problem. Plus pay property taxes. Gotta remember to do that. I finished my taxes last weekend, but not early enough to pay the property taxes, so I’m waiting for some money to move. Fun stuff. Juggling money, time, to-do list items…it’s what I do.

Completely Unprepared

Late start to writing; so much to do. Brain explodes and is replaced with AI…which doesn’t know where to start, how to prioritize. Still laughing about Melania’s AI in the classroom. Obviously the woman and her people have never stepped foot into a middle-school classroom. I wouldn’t mind a little robot assistance just for the stupid questions: “What are we doing?” “Do we have to read the whole thing?” “There’s a back?”. They could also do the copying for me and maybe input grades (can I trust it for that?) and answer parent emails…oh wait, no…I had to tell Chatty to be less kiss ass on one response to a parent because she was bending over backwards for one kid in a class of 33 with 7 SPED. Like IDK what drugs she’s on, but it needs to be possible for humans to do the things…I for sure know SHE couldn’t do it. It would take 7 or 8 robots to do all the things she suggested. I only tried Chat for a response to a parent email because I was fairly sure the parent had also used it to write their email and I wanted to see what the response was.

So there’s that. Today, so far, I wrote one warmup, I checked the weekly email doc and contacted my team to make sure everyone had written their paragraph by Sunday, I ate breakfast, took my meds, calculated the Man’s grocery costs for the week, went through my to-do list and transferred the things I hadn’t done to today and Saturday (and next week, honestly, because let’s be real), considered an email I got and wondered if it was passively aggressively suggesting I needed to do something and decided I would make them actually ask, read some of my book, drank two cups of tea, marinated the meat for dinner, put all the extra dishes away, started some eggs hardboiling for lunch, tried to write another warmup question but there was a feisty cat in the way, remembered the blog, oh wait, I also went to pilates and considered gas costs. So yeah. And showered and changed clothes and opened windows. Doing well. Not great…just getting little things done. Considered cleaning floors, but I have to eat before I go to yet another dentist to see if I lost a filling? I don’t have a filling there but something happened and IDK what and maybe I hallucinated it. I don’t think I’m finishing this post before I have to go eat and then leave. You won’t know the difference. I will.

I made it to ceramics yesterday. Picked up my new bowl, which I love, wonkiness and all…

Here’s a video of it…

Complicated to hold and film. It’s fun. I meant to make like a soup/pasta bowl, but it’s too big. It’s serving bowl size. Which is fine.

Then I finished the ribcage on the back of this one.

Also pretty cool. Lots of work left on this though.

I started the embroidery on the second dye painting…which is almost invisible in this picture.

But I’ll keep going. I want the texture. I’m adding beads and sequins at some point too.

I had Scribble on my lap for most of it.

She also hung out when I was grading things…

She might have missed me.

I didn’t have much free luggage space in my bag, but I bought a few fabrics (and napkins I will be using as fabrics).

Not a lot. And two t-shirts. And a bag and a cross stitch pattern. Which looks really hard to read. Fun times.

I saw this…related to my most recent quilt that will be at the New England Quilt Museum, opening in a couple of weeks.

There’s been a lot going on, as always. Go Christina Koch!

I’ve been in this space a lot the last three days…

As it should be.

Ready for this. I have a cat ready to go. Maybe four of them.

And I’m now following Amanda Oleander just for this, because I thought I was the only one doing this.

Mostly I swirl them up and make little galaxies (and then throw them in the trash), but sometimes make faces. Maybe I should worry about my hair falling out more, but eh. Seems real.

OK. So I ate, I have 17 minutes until I need to leave to find out about the tooth. I might go to Costco to figure out why my card won’t work and the app won’t verify me. It keeps asking me which street is near mine and none of them are, which is just really weird. So I have to go in person, which sucks, but I also need gas, so maybe I kill both those things. I don’t really want to waste time on either task, but whatever. I’ve got taxes to work on (STILL) and stuff to grade (FOREVER) and cleaning and yardwork (UNENDING), but will end the day with stitching. Need to find the sequins…not something I say often, but it happens. And this is the last official day of Spring Break…I don’t really count the weekend, because it’s the ramp-up to going back (so incredibly not-never ready). I got almost nothing done over break, so there’s that. Going into the last piece of the school year completely unprepared with my hair on fire. Nothing new.

Forgotten All the Things…

OK well that was a lot. I think I graded for 9 hours yesterday and didn’t finish. Need to adjust something. Might be me. Not sure how though. OK, so what art did I do? I finished tracing pieces on Wonder Under…

Well, I traced Friday night and almost finished…and then traced Saturday night and finished…

It took almost 13 hours to do about 4 1/3 yards of Wonder Under.

Then last night, I started trimming it and didn’t even finish a yard.

Also, that’s just under an hour, because that’s all I’ve been able to pull off the last week or month or eon. And this week, I think I have to be at school early 3 days, so I really should go to bed early the nights before, but I never do. Sleep is so HARD y’all. I just am not very good at it. I finish meditating, I’m all chill and relaxed and ready for sleep and then my brain yells “HIGHLIGHTERS! THE KIDS WILL NEED HIGHLIGHTERS TOMORROW!” and I’m like, Brain, you could have told me that tomorrow morning and it would have been fine, but no, “HIGHLIGHTERS!”. Ugh. Anyway, I will be trimming most of the week. I did get my quilt photos for the last one back from the photographer yesterday, but was too busy grading and cooking dinner to look at them. I’ll do that tonight and pack up the quilt and ship it to the new owner, which is exciting in itself.

In other cool quilt news, Kathy Ford was nice enough to photograph my quilt Portrait of One Self at Quilts=Art=Quilts this weekend.

Apparently it is right up front at the entrance, which is cool.

I wish I could have been there, but I also greatly appreciate the photos. Sometimes my work goes to shows and I never see it in the exhibit and I wonder if it’s actually there. Of course it is, but it doesn’t seem real if I don’t see it. So there it is!

I also went to the ceramics studio on Friday and did a copper wash, mostly wiped off, on the base and the upper torso, and then a light clear satin over that, and then put it in the pile of stuff to be fired. I also put the head in for a bisque fire, and fixed the tree again. Hey, compared to all the fixes on the upper torso, this is nothing.

Remind me to work on something smaller next time. Way smaller. Yeah, I know, it’s not in my nature.

I also went to the dentist on Saturday, where they did this weird 3D scan of my teeth.

Creepy shit.

And then I graded for a million hours.

Fun times. We’re having to go back and reteach some stuff, like the difference between evidence and inference, and where explanation goes (not in your claim), so they can write about science without making it sound like a narrative of their lives (tough one that). One of the more frustrating parts about teaching 8th grade is the obsession with getting Principal’s Honor Roll so they can sit on the stage for promotion. Except they’re learning new skills and it’s really hard to get an A on a new skill in the first month of doing that skill. And they’re so obsessed with the A that they can’t focus on what they need to do to get there. Anyway. It’s a challenge for them (and me) to get them there. Hence 6 emails from one kid and then one from his mom, all on Saturday, until I sent one back about hey, school is about learning. If he already knew everything, he wouldn’t need to come here. And some more stuff. Parental pressure like that is also not helpful. But also, it’s only going to get harder from here on out and I’m not sure he has the A in him. We’ll see. But that’s the point, right? That they grow and progress? Not that they are an A straight off the bat. Sigh.

So I graded in the car as a lovely person drove me to Huntington Beach for a meeting that I also graded through (I contributed to the meeting, so don’t think I blew that off…it was a lot of discussion of how to meet and get members moving forward, which was necessary but not fun), and then graded on the way back. I think I finally quit in Oceanside on the way back…so from 9 AM (I left my house at 8:30) to probably 3:30, and then I picked up my quilt and went home and graded some more. So yeah, at least 9 hours just on Sunday. Another 3 or 4 on Saturday. And an hour or two on Friday. I’m not done with that assignment either, although I didn’t do that in the car/at the meeting mostly. I did all the other things that needed grading. So three homework assignments, all their warmups for the week, plus essays, probably about 100 of them. I have 18 left…that’s probably 2 hours. Seriously. Ugh. I took one picture at the person’s house of this really cool piece of art…

I meant to ask if it was the same person who made the piece I saw at Sebastopol over the summer. I’ll email her and ask.

Otherwise, my weekend was a bunch of memes when I would take a break from grading…

It’s weird. And this really bugs me.

And harassing people who are following the law to be here. Or were BORN here. That’s fun. I totally want my money going to that when you can’t fund special education any more. Or rural schools.

I would love a Schoolhouse Rock song for this…

Someone will do it.

Yeah. That.

And lastly, though I’m going to BREATHE in instead of BREATH in…I think this is how my week is gonna go.

It’s been like that since the beginning of the school year.

Today, my coteacher is out, so I’m not sure whether I can copy the things I need to copy. We couldn’t meet Friday because she had to sub our prep period, because teachers called out without any warning and we couldn’t get subs. I get emergencies, but also, leave sub plans. Have emergency sub plans. I do. I also need to grade those 18 essays, but get kids through a review of what the fuck a CER is, because they’ve forgotten all the things. Next year, we’ll do this earlier for goodness’ sake. We will NOT assume they were taught things last year. Even if we’re the ones that put all those things into the 7th-grade calendar. It’s fine. Really. I love reteaching when I have a shit ton of content to get through before the state test. Then staff meetings about a debrief of something we didn’t do because they never opened the list of sign ups for us to be observed doing it. So yeah, that’ll be a fun, “hey y’all dropped the ball yet again”, in fact I don’t even know if you know where the ball is. Then ceramics today? Or tomorrow? I can’t decide, so I’ll take my stuff with me…I think it needs to be tomorrow though. Yeah, it does. I forgot about book club. I don’t even know what book I was supposed to have read, so hopefully some other part of my brain took care of that and already read it. Yes, that’s where we’re at right now. It’s not great and it’s not particularly enjoyable, but at least I’ll be doing art stuff at the end of the day to make up for all that crazy nutso fuckedupedness.

There Needs to Be Balance.

When the texts came in at 11:30 PM and continued at 6:30 AM and somewhere in there, your new diabetes sensor decided your blood sugar was low even though it really wasn’t because it takes it a while sometimes to behave appropriately (much like oh so many people I can think of at the moment), so it kept buzzing until you put it on the floor, and then you know you have a difficult meeting in the morning, and one of those texts told you something that explains a lot of the bullshit at school and now you’re PISSED, ffs, why why why. Well it’s not the best way to start a Friday. But it IS a Friday. My weekend is too full and I have feels about the No Kings protest and I’m in a place in my head where protest is legit and so is self care and promises I made to people and I’m trying to do all of the things and probably semi-failing at quite a few of them. So I’m processing all that and potentially editing the weekend to-do list to manage that.

How can I be the best American this weekend? Still working on that.

I’ve been tracing every night…well for the last three. Big time.

Not. I’m still in the 100s, although I’ve traced some of the 200s. Probably a mistake that. Might end up with an extra traced bug somewhere. But the bug parts are small and it’s easier if I trace them and cut them all in one space so they don’t get lost. Makes sense to me anyway. And the big pieces of water are a pain to trace. I remember now from the last bathtub quilts. I like how it looks but it’s a pain to make.

Ah yes, so if you don’t know, I think this is the fourth bathtub quilt, definitely a series. It’s actually the 6th drawn bathtub. I was looking at Frida Kahlo’s bathtub painting and then George Bush Jr did one and I don’t know, it hit me as a way to document a life. Or in the case of this quilt, a life and an unalive. All four bathtub quilts will be at the Virginia Quilt Museum January through March, along with a few others. I will be there the last weekend in March too, along with the other artist in the show, Lena Meszaros. Should be interesting.

Yesterday, I underglazed the tree, which miraculously did not break again.

It took an hour.

Which is crazy. This is going on top of the head that hasn’t been glazed yet. I also signed up for a handbuilding/slab sculpture class in November. It looked interesting and I need more tips on building stuff. I always feel like I’m doing it by the seat of my pants…because I am.

Um I should probably send this to someone in particular. But it’s true! We need to vent. Especially if your job is a whirlwind of crazy all day. Because that shit festers.

Our trees were trimmed this week and the guys somehow broke like 6 pots and full on disappeared some with plants and I’m upset but I get it. I moved the ones I thought they’d hit and they full on hit others instead. So I’m also sad. It’s OK; the tree guy is paying to replace pots but there was this adorable little succulent that had just bloomed and it’s just gone and I’m sad about it. I’m also sad about my kitty being gone, even though it’s been two months. Bowie keeps coming in here looking for her, and I’m like SAME dude, I keep looking for her too.

Oh my. So sucky meeting in the morning, teaching net force all day with a simulation; let’s see if the day chaos can NOT. Then errands woo hoo love errands ugh no I do not. Then dinner and grading and tracing and deciding what I can deal with this weekend. There are things I WANT to do and things I NEED to do and things I HAVE to do and there needs to be a balance. And I don’t know what it is right now. Peace and love to the protestors and the marches across the country. Because this shit is crazy and needs to stop and yes, it’s easy to say that and as always, I struggle with the how to make the crazy shit stop and/or make sense (that’s not happening). We need a Day of Remembrance for our democracy, for empathy, for American values, because this ain’t it.

Today the Oatmeal Exploded.

Monday was burning oatmeal. Today was exploding oatmeal, all over the side of the bowl, where it will stick like concrete. Fun times. And yesterday kinda felt like that. Or maybe Monday. Or both. The workload is a challenge. Too many parts to it. I’m pretty sure I was supposed to have some literacy thing done by the 27th but they haven’t provided a calendar for it, so it’s just not gonna happen. Or they’ll tell us on the 20th that it has to be done by the 27th (‘it’ being something where you schedule admin to come watch you do it), and that’ll be the end of me.

Teaching-wise, the content is fine, the kids are OK (except for the dingbat who couldn’t shut up yesterday about all the reasons she didn’t want to sit where she was put). I just can’t get far enough ahead to not feel like I can’t breathe. Might be a me problem.

Monday, I made it to ceramics, where both pieces were out of the bisque fire. I tentatively put them together (it’s a little wobbly, hence my hand)…

I go back and forth about what to do next. I know these colors won’t survive a glaze fire, so the plan is to iron oxide, darken it all up in the crevices, and then use a satin matte glaze on some areas for color. Or all areas. I don’t know.

The only crack in the upper torso is where that finger attaches to the breast. And the crack in the bottom piece got smaller in the second bisque firing.

I fixed this, which will hopefully go on top of the head. Scary to get to the point where I have to put it all together.

Not sure where to store all the parts at the moment. I don’t have enough shelf space for any of it at the moment. I could move the head out, but there probably still wouldn’t be enough room for more than the base. I’m hoping to go Thursday to underglaze the tree and maybe put the head in the bisque fire.

Meanwhile, at home, I finished drawing the big piece…added that target and a few other things.

Numbered it Monday and Tuesday night…it’s a little over a thousand pieces. Not bad for trying to keep it simple (ha!).

And then last night, I started tracing…

I didn’t get far. But that’s OK. I’ve got fewer meetings at night this week. Should help. Although I’m trying to catch up on grading still. Always.

We got a chunk of rain yesterday…my app had been saying 0.04″ so I wasn’t really prepared for being sopping wet after school…just walking to the car.

And at home, checking all the new gutters (one had an issue) and digging a trench…in the rain. Fun times. Then pajamas on and finally finishing the book I had left in the morning, under duress.

So many uses for this.

I stayed late at school yesterday to document all the behaviors from the beginning of the month on our digital system and to call two parents, one of which didn’t answer and his voicemail was full, so I texted, used our parent communication app, and sent it to the translator, so there’s no question of their understanding the issue. The other one tried to say “you know he’s ADHD” as an excuse. Ah ma’am…I raised one of those, and you better stop enabling that shit right now. I always counter with, oh yeah, I raised one of those.

I love Gemma Correll’s drawings…

And they feel very real at the moment.

Especially that…I’m thinking of some specific buildings. Empty of humans of course.

I feel like I post this every year. And it’s true every year.

OK, trees are being trimmed today (stress!) plus I think I have to come up with something for the kids to do for the last half of the period, because I’m ahead of my co-teacher. Or not. Just have them finish their cover pages. There we go. Simple. Then pilates and grading and tracing. And reading. All good.

Earth Is in Retrograde

OK, maybe just the US. Maybe the rest of you are okey dokey. If so, send snacks…and help.

I don ‘t feel ready for the day. It’s too early. There are too many meetings. I wrote 7 emails in Spanish yesterday. I talked to a kid using Google Translate. Imma do that today with another kid, if she actually shows up. Sigh. When I care more about a kid promoting to high school than their parents do…then I know their parents have way more on their plates than I do, and that’s saying something. School is a challenge. It’s always a challenge. It’s hard because we’re redoing a unit for the fourth time (for me), and we’re using ChatGPT, but (1) it uses natural resources, which bugs me, and (2) it’s not particularly smart or helpful sometimes.

Sigh. I know it. And I guess I’m not using it to write this (as if you couldn’t tell…I ramble worse than a baby lamb). My school district is really pushing it. At some point, maybe with a different government in place, there will be limits…but not for a while. Not until the damage is done.

Time is difficult too. I had a meeting before and after school yesterday, and before I went to the afterschool one, I drove out into this…

Which could have been way worse (I was on the freeway that isn’t all yellow and red). And after that, I went to an opening at Hyde Gallery, which was cool. More about that later this week. Pro: the quilt is being photographed and I did the other things. I even came back (and collapsed for about 30 minutes) and got work done. I sort of set up a worksheet I need for next Tuesday (sheesh) and then started grading stuff. Always behind on that. Significantly so at the moment. That said, building roller coasters has been relatively good, except for some minor stupidity (ah, middle-school boys…operating without a frontal lobe). I got a little grading done even, which rarely happens (and won’t today, I suspect).

Ceramics update: I went on Monday, despite the two-hour staff meeting before it, and amazingly, the woman in charge was there and all the kilns were empty, and the upper torso had NOTHING BROKEN (OMG, this never happens), so it must have been fate, so we loaded it in.

I also refired the base because it needed some refinement on the underglazes. Understand that it’s probably $75 of firing fees right there, but I don’t feel bad, because I haven’t fired anything since like March. I’ve been working on the upper torso since fucking January 8. It’s about time I fired the fucker. And it survived! IDK if there are cracks, but it came out of the kiln last night; I saw it in the video. So I might go see it tonight. Maybe. Then I have to make decisions about glazing it. I’m conflicted on that. So many of the underglazes go super dark, so I’d have to put something on them. But I might want to do some iron oxide as well? Not sure. Might have to sit on that decision for a while.

Meanwhile, the head is done and drying…

And in photos…

In case your video is annoying.

I did go a little weird on the head. And yes, I had to make a base and will fire it in the base. And then throw the base away. It’s OK; it’s reclaimed clay.

And then I worked on the very top bit, the tree on the top…

I wrapped it up with like 20 paper towels, hoping it would hold up as it dried, and not dry too fast.

Pain in the ass. Seriously. Why do I build this crazy shit? So this comes out the top of the head. Wish me luck.

In between that and packing up two quilts for the photographer, and driving all over town, I managed to tape two big pieces of paper together on Monday night and start drawing last night. The taping and drawing was complicated by this standoff.

Bowie wanted to play and Nova decidedly did not. But eventually they left, and I started with one of the campfire sketches (I’m changing it a bit as I go)…

There’s a little pencil on there, just to make sure stuff isn’t a stupid size. I can’t make it too complicated or I won’t be able to finish it in time. Bathtubs (yes, there will be more than one) and politics. Perfect mix. I’ll be doing this for a while. Hopefully not more than a week, but you never know.

From the book I just finished…which was eh.

But I liked some of her sentences. Like that one.

This is probably relevant to my quilts…because people sometimes say that to me about my work.

Make the world a better place and I’ll make prettier quilts. Also this…Goodall didn’t mention me at all. And I’m OK with that.

So the barn owl is still here, shitting all over the entryway steps and shrieking occasionally. I accept that as part of the wonder of having barn owls. I also accept the dead gopher they dropped in the driveway. But now we have romantic Great Horned owls…this is one of the males.

Horrible picture, at night, with a flashlight aimed at its horny self.

Not that the video is any better. At least they’re quieter than baby barn owls. But the female…holy crap, the most scary noise you’ve heard. I don’t have video of that. So there are two males and the one female, and the other night, they would not shut the fuck up. IDK how gentle hoots can keep me awake, but I guess it says something about me.

Last meme…

I blame my feeligs on the US actually. Well, and Russia and Israel and a few others. And billionaires. And people with no empathy. So there’s that. Earth does seem to be in retrograde though.

Meeting this morning, another after school. Last day to build roller coasters, so lots of yelling and ‘get on with it’ and recording videos of successful runs. Then two days to shut up and get the rest of it done. Ha! While I try to catch up on grading AND plan the next unit with my coteacher. Fun times. Long day. No pilates; couldn’t get into the class. Sigh. Ah well. Maybe on the weekend. Things my body appreciates…exercise, reading, peace and quiet, nature. Some of that.

Another Hole in My Finger…

No matter what I do, I’m always sitting on the couch on Sunday night, wondering why I didn’t get more done over the weekend. Like I shouldn’t have gone to ceramics yesterday, despite not being able to get there all week, because I should have graded more. I should have finished that one assignment (I have a class and a half left to grade…at least an hour, probably closer to two). I should have finished grading the homework from two weeks ago (I have two classes left, maybe three? Can’t remember). I’m two weeks behind in grading advisory assignments. Ah well. And I’m going camping this coming weekend, so I won’t be grading then. Unless I can get the Man to drive (then I might get sick…hmmm) so I can grade homework on the way up. Meanwhile, I’m trying to not waste my ceramics studio membership by not going, I haven’t made it to the gym in weeks, and I have a quilt I’m trying to finish so I can start the one that has to be done by mid-December. Minor panic. I did manage to pick a binding from the three and get it sewn on…

Although Friday night, all I did was trim it. It was all I could handle. I graded a lot Friday night. On Saturday, I had more mental energy…so I got the binding sewn on and pinned down, and found a cat to sit on it.

Thank you, Nova. Then last night, I started the stitching and ritual poking a hole in my finger until I give in and find the sticky thimble things.

So I’ll be here a few more nights, then contact the photographer, and start the next one, which has been simmering on the Art Brain stove for a few weeks.

Ceramics has been frustrating lately; I can’t get there (I don’t have the energy or the time) and then when I get there, someone has bumped the big piece shoving stuff next to it, and it’s broken again. This is the head, though…and it’s almost underglazed…

Still some work to do on the hair…

And I think I did the teeth too? Maybe? I can’t remember when I took the photo. The mid-torso piece is hopefully ready to bisque fire, but that takes coordination with the person in charge of the kilns, and I haven’t been able to show up during her work time for weeks. I could just text her, I guess. I’m hesitant to commit to putting it into the kiln. I’m afraid it’s all going to fall apart, honestly, and if it does, I’m gluing it all together. There is a piece that goes on top of this, and the base needs to be bisque fired again, so there’s a lot going on…I just haven’t been able to get there enough.

When we go out on Saturdays, I draw until they bring us the food. I don’t always get much time (some places are super fast).

But it helps my drawing hand remember the things.

And sometimes people comment…this one got some random guy telling me it was good. Thanks random guy.

This one was two restaurants, two date nights.

The first one served way too fast.

This one too.

But it seemed mostly finished.

And yet, here is what I get from students…

I could just about read his writing. There were a couple that I really couldn’t read. This is the con to putting stuff on paper. The pro is that they can’t copy and paste from Google. The con is my brain explodes. This is what I didn’t finish. It’s not hard to grade, really…just time-consuming. What is that, you say? A person falling out of a moving car. If you stare at it long enough, you might see it. I only know that because the horrendously mostly illegible writing to the right explained it.

So more of that.

While I was grading, I was watching stuff, as you do…and this amused me. ALMOST?

So you have 26 pairs? Or you have part of a pair? Also, yeah, so do I, at least.

This after a conversation on Thursday with two staff members who admitted to originally being afraid of me.

It’s OK. This was found on Saturday’s hike before dinner…

Also the sun is going down earlier. I forgot that would happen.

Same cat (Nova) on another quilt.

It must be fall, the cat-sitting-on-quilt season.

This after the Man went out with man friends. Although they did actually ask some questions this time.

I ask stuff when he gets back, and he’s like, “We didn’t talk about that” over and over again until I’m like, WTF did you talk about?! I’m not invited anymore (it’s all just guy stuff, no gaming mostly), and I just wanna know how everyone is doing. And I can’t ask them.

Let’s finish up with my favorite disappeared female aviator…

Go Amelia!

OK. It’s a short week because our school board has set these idiotic 3-day weekends (the next one isn’t even a 3-day…it’s entirely stupid) because they say parents want them. It’s true that a bunch of our kids are absent on Fridays or Mondays…but it makes it harder to teach. I’ll take this one though…we’re going camping up in the local mountains. It’s a full week though…three Zoom calls at night (none are work-related), plus at least three meetings? Four? Not sure. I give up on keeping track. Teaching something today…ah, reviewing potential and kinetic energy for roller coasters, which they’ll start designing on Thursday. Fun times. Then two meetings or three, not sure (principal says one thing then says something different in the weekly email that comes whenever he feels like it…I miss the principal that scheduled them for the same time every week). Then I’m either going to ceramics or coming home and grading, because I have book club tonight. Good book for that one. And then stitching a hole in my finger. NO! Finding the sticky thimble pad, so I DON’T stitch a hole in my finger. That’s the plan.

Iterations.

Tuesdays have gotten so much harder lately. Not sure why. I feel like I’ve run a marathon in only two days of work, and then there’s a slow slide into the weekend. Sometimes that slide upends me into a pile of steaming compost before the weekend, but it feels like the hump, getting over that, is now Tuesday. I mean, the work doesn’t stop after Tuesday? There just seems to be an inordinate amount of it in the first two days…well, include Sunday, because I work then too. Maybe that’s why? Nah, I’ve always had to do that…well, always in the last 5 or 6 years? I didn’t always have to put in so much weekend time. Not sure why. So far, I haven’t managed to grade anything in class. Like the kids won’t chill out enough to allow it. That will hopefully change today. We’ll see. Some groups do well, some are incredibly needy (some for good reasons, lack of English skills and all), and some can’t stay on task to save their lives. I’m looking forward to October, when things seem to chill out a bit (weather and school)…but it’s still an awfully long way away.

The stitchdown is coming along slowly. I’m not getting a full hour at night…I’m coming home later and eating dinner later and then it’s 10 PM and I know I have to go to bed around 10:30. So I made it up to the sun and planets last night, and that’s all that’s left. I should be able to get that done tonight, but I have a union meeting after school and pilates late, so maybe not. Trying to fit in all the things I want to do with all the things I have to do and then the things I should do…ugh. But here’s Monday night’s stitching…

I got through one arm and most of the left side of the torso. I don’t remember where I was before that though. Last night, I finished the torso and the head and the hair, the hands on top of her head, and the barn owl…

And I found this in my yard…

There’s two great horned owls nearby, but I still hear the nightly screech of one of the barn owls, plus the occasional feather. Nice that they’re hanging around. They can all have the rats and gophers. Please.

This piece, Portrait of One Self, got into Quilts=Art=Quilts, so I’ll be shipping her later this month.

She’s got a lot going on too, much like me. Not often you see a fox sleeping with missiles. Or bunnies on body bags. Kitten is in there too…apparently I knew she was near the end, because she’s got angel wings. I miss her lots still. The Man says I can borrow his cats, and sometimes I am a good substitute for them, but mostly, they choose their daddy (of course). So I miss the kitty time. I don’t have the time or energy for a new kitty right now, though; the two dogs are enough. Katie is here! My parents’ dog has been visiting for over a week. She’s pretty chill these days, as long as you give her what she wants. She misses her people too, I’m sure. They’ll be back Sunday.

I have been having a hard time finding the time and energy to make it to ceramics, which sucks, because it’s very meditative when I’m there. I mean, the piece that needs to go in the kiln stresses me out, because I’m not even sure I can lift in into the kiln without breaking it…but the freeform head piece has been loads of fun.

I just keep adding weird shit to it. I actually need to go in when the owner is there so I can put the base back in the bisque fire and then try to get the torso in as well. Then I can just focus on the head, which is now going to have a tree coming out of it? I don’t know how that’s going to work. Shhh.

It was great being there yesterday…one other woman was there who I see on a regular basis, and about three other people just stopped by to drop off or pick stuff up, and then it was just me. Unfortunately, I only had about 90 minutes and then needed to pick up mail at my parents and then go home and cook dinner and do schoolwork and eventually get to stitch stuff down. Busy fucking days. I feel like I wake up running and don’t stop until late at night. And then the CGM has been off again. I’m wondering if my body is fighting this one even longer before it settles, and if that is the new thing. The numbers are still completely off and the alarm kept going off last night but it was like 50 points off. And I don’t have time to call them and go through all the phone call shit again today. Ugh. Why can’t things just work? Why does my body need to make it so fucking difficult. This thing has been really helpful for keeping my blood sugar in the right place. I’d really like it to keep working.

Sweet boy. Needs attention. I reread the same page like 5 times while he kept flipping around and smiling at me. Dork.

This is too true. Also, I think the Man is the caterpillar in Alice. At least right now. Maybe he’ll be the White Knight later on.

OK. Teaching energy while lacking it. Actually transformations today, which is different than transfer. Gotta make that distinction today as well. Then they get an INDEPENDENT assignment, for some definition of independent, right? Then union meeting and pilates and dinner and schoolwork and stitching, then sleep. Repeat some iteration of that. Ugh. September. Double ugh.