I’ll Be Quilting at the End of It…

It’s pajama day at school today. It’s also supposed to be 90 degrees. Not sure those two things go together. But I am in pajamas. Flannel. Yup. With pockets though. I have a lighter pair, but they don’t have pockets. Yes, I know how to sew…clothing even…I could easily add pockets. In my spare time. I got none of that. In good news, the parentals are home, safe, not ill, and their lovely aged very deaf dog is back to their responsibility. In bad news, the day job continues to give me acne, bad sleep, and canker sores. I’m sure it will get better. Someday. Not this week though. This week is our first real lab and IDK how that will roll…this is where we can really see what last year’s teachers wrought upon us…that and the first long writing assignment. My hopes are not high. I realized (we realized?) last week that this group is not particularly independent, even when assignments are. I couldn’t grade anything, prep anything, even sit and help a kid I know needs it and won’t ask for it, because of all the kids requiring help who just didn’t listen to directions or quashing attempts to be social when supposed to be working. It was exhausting. Yes, there’s always some of that, but this was too much. So I brought home all the grading I’d been trying to do all week and did it at home…much faster. But eating up my time. Not OK.

Quiltwise, I knew I needed to do some embroidery on a couple of ICE vests that were too small to cut out words for…so I did that Friday night.

I was exhausted; I went to ceramics also and then my parents for the mail, so even though I had mostly prepared the night before to sandwich and pinbaste that night, I figured I wouldn’t have the energy. The boychild went to bed, then the Man, and Art Brain persuaded me to mop the floor, iron the backing, pin it to the floor, finish drying the batting (someone pulled it out of the dryer not dry…yes, I know who), iron the front, and then pinbaste the whole thing around 11:30 pm.

Absolutely some level of fucking nuts.

But honestly, much easier to do with everyone in bed. Dogs, cats, people out of my way.

Saturday night, I started quilting…

Made it through a healthy chunk of the dirt…

Then last night, I did the little people and most of the ICE agents dragging children through the swamp.

I’m sure I’ll be doing this most if not all of the week. And then I realized, how the fuck am I gonna buy binding? The store I usually shop at is open stupid hours and I’m going to LA on Saturday for basically the whole day. I’m not sure how I’m solving that problem yet. I’ll figure it out. Shop somewhere else, probably. Fewer choices in fabric unfortunately. Oh well. If you’re never open when working people can come in? Then they won’t come in.

This was the bed when I tried to get in it on Friday night. Eventually some moving happened.

Cute though. The Man is in there and those are all his babies.

I’ve been hiking every Saturday, late afternoon, about 3 miles, so I can eat a dinner I choose, instead of one my body allows.

It’s also relaxing, mostly. There were a lot of people this last Saturday. Less relaxing. There’s a fine line between hiking safely as a woman and being annoyed by all the people on the trail.

I drew at dinner…this was a two-dinner drawing.

The faster they serve the food, the more dinners it takes to draw.

Speaking of drawing, some of my students are truly amusing.

The arm gestures of Josh. So cute. Yes, I realize they drew a dead person, but it’s also a stick figure.

Girlchild is in Japan…I’m so jealous.

I asked what was going on in this photo, and apparently it’s joy.

This is not very iconically Japan…

But she looked more cool. So we get daily photos and videos of cool things in Japan. I’m very jealous. It wasn’t really on my bucket list (I was last there in 1967 at the age of nine months. OK it might have been 1968.), but maybe it should be?

And in political news…

Yeah maybe I should start saying that. What is your problem?

This is too true.

Sadly so. Also so much disinformation about this. I’m sad for his kids and wife; I’m also sad for the family of the shooter. I’m sure this isn’t what they wanted for him. But hey y’all…it was a white, religious, right wing extremist. Not the democrats. Not a trans kid. Not a woman. Not a person of color. Can we focus on the bullshit coming out of all those politicians’ mouths? And the guns…can we ever say the guns are the problem? I’m boggled by the about-shifts in social media with some of these people.

And this…with teachers and professors being fired over statements about Kirk. My partner says the world is a better place now. Is that a fire-able offense? Dowd is divisive? Seriously? I’m boggled by the rhetoric and the bullshit. Maybe I shouldn’t be. But I am. And the ignorance of history. That too.

OK. Well, all that aside, I do still have to teach middle school today. Energy! Still. Transformations of energy. Writing about energy. Using more than one vocabulary word in a sentence. Writing complex sentences. Things most science teachers don’t teach. Welcome to a literacy school. And two teachers who are readers. Then two different meetings after school. I’d like to go to ceramics, but I’m also trying to go to my quilt guild meeting, because Lea McComas is speaking there. It’s on Zoom, but it’s not the same thing. So IDK how the rest of the day will go; I just know I’ll be quilting at the end of it.

Hot and Ironing…

There is a delightful breeze coming through the window of my office right now, unlike the last three nights, when it has been hot as fucking hell in here and I remember again why I consider putting a room air conditioner in here every year around this time. And it was only in the 90s yesterday…last year, it hit 109 degrees during September (knock on wood; it’s only September 1, so it’s still possible). This room holds heat like crazy and the sliding glass door is a combo of unusable and unreachable, which is silly. Need to remodel this room with A/C and a slider on a remote. I guess one or the other. It does cool down at night…outside…but not in here. Bad design and/or no insulation in the walls. Certainly we didn’t see any when we did all the fixes to the rain damage. Houses built in the 1970s…they still didn’t build them well. So enjoy the breeze (and the day off of work!) because it’ll be gone and/or hot as hell in a few hours.

So it’s really hard to iron when it’s hot, y’all. I don’t even try until 8 PM and then I sit in here and sweat anyway because the fan can only be pointed below the level of the ironing board, or I’d have pieces flying everywhere. Plus the iron is putting off heat in a room that is already warm. Just since I started writing this, the room temperature has gone up 2 degrees. Anyway, on Friday, I came home after ceramics and ironed for 3 hours.

I was working on all the body pieces and the stuff around or attached to the main figure.

When I went to bed, I was missing some hair pieces, but I found them in the trash bin (which is why I don’t throw that out until the quilt is finished). Then Saturday night, I did the head and some other stuff around it.

I did an explosion and one of the Starlink things and part of the swamp. Here’s a better view of the head…

So many of Musk’s things blow up. All the pencil cups and the stapler and tape are there to keep the weight of the fabric from pulling the teflon sheets onto the ground. As it gets heavier with more pieces, this gets to be a harder balance and I need more weights.

Last night, I worked on the swamp and got all the base parts done; just the trees are left on that.

There’s some embroidery of the police/ICE badges to go on later. This puts me in the 1000s, so about 300 pieces left to go. Two or three nights? We’ll see. I mean, I could finish it today if it weren’t supposed to be 95 degrees in here and I didn’t have a thousand other things to do. Next up? Input grades. I think I finished most of the school stuff yesterday though. Besides inputting them. Oh wait, and advisory. Fuck. Forgot about that. Ugh. I have not fully found my routine yet. It takes me about 6 weeks usually. And Friday was super stressful for trying to get all the things done. This week is back-to-school night, plus two morning meetings, plus 7 new kids (ugh) and 3 kids moving classes and whoa…just found the fly yesterday that was buzzing everyone in the house. Either it died or Bowie killed it and didn’t eat it. Mmmm. Dead fly.

I need to try to get to ceramics today (oh my, it’ll be warm)…I got things attached and underglazed and felt really positive about this project that is more than a little stressful at the moment.

Not even sure how I’m going to get it in the kiln without breaking it…again. Ah well. Hope survives. I need to underglaze the flesh, fix more cracks, and fix the one piece of the flag that keeps popping off, which is better than the entire flag popping off, which is what happened last week. So frustrated with this right now. Remind me to do some smaller, less complicated things next. Really. OK, still need to finish the head. Ha!

I crazily hiked on Saturday, by myself, at like 5:15 PM (still 90 degrees, I think, but there was a breeze).

Three miles. Then I can eat things that might kick my blood sugar up…because they are less likely to have that jump. Well, they should be, but I ate too many fries and blew that. Ah well. Still working on it. Definitely more under control than it was three months ago, but the blood sugar still crashes kind of randomly at times, like last night. No reason. Definitely think my Saturday night glass of wine does it, but I didn’t have any last night and was still awakened at 4:30 in the morning with a low. Ugh. Sometimes if I get up (to pee and check my blood sugar with a finger prick), it’ll pop back up, like it thinks I’m getting up (no fucking way I’m getting up at 4:30 AM; you’d think my body would know that), but then it crashed again an hour later. Fuck me. I’m sure eating skittles at 5:30 AM is not a good life choice, but I don’t have another solution at the moment. And when I asked the diabetes nurse about it, she didn’t either. She wanted me to get up and have a real snack, and I’m like, no, not doing that unless it’s really bad and continuing to crash. I’m TIRED. I work during the day…with KIDS. I need a full night’s sleep. And I already reduced my insulin…so if it happens again this week, I’ll reduce it again. Supposed to be contacting doctor about that stuff, but I haven’t yet…maybe this time.

So the baby owl finally got chased off by mom…well, or did she? She has finally stopped hungry squawking though…but the other night, I hear noises on the slope and then a screech, so I look out there and two owls are in the tree outside my office window.

The lower one is looking up at the other one…and is smaller. Might be baby? This was the same night but I think that’s one of the parents, probably mom.

They were staring intently down on the slope, where this opossum was digging around…

I’m totally OK with the owls prowling the slope. I’ve got gophers and they’re tearing it up. Annoyingly.

I mentioned it was hot, yeah?

Cat evidence of temperatures.

And there’s this…

Also, let’s talk about how many of them are white men. But sure, y’all will pick on the one thing you think made them do it. We could just take the guns away from the mentally ill (well, honestly, mostly everybody), and that might help.

OK. I don’t have to work today! Well, I do, but not all day in a classroom. This is a short but painful week; I will be mostly dead by Friday. Good times! It will also be cooler by Friday, which will help. It’s September! A fun month for school…where things change daily for no apparent reason sometimes. Also we think our A/C at school might be out. They’ll have to fix it quickly because there’s a new state law about maximum temperatures in classrooms. But the rest of the day, I can read, iron, plant things (I did some of that already), anything I can stand in the heat. Working on a wool quilt has been out (ha!). I keep thinking I’ll start the embroidery on the border flowers on Homegrown, but I’d have to have the whole quilt on my lap, so that is not happening. I’ll just keep sewing little things down on blocks I can hold in one hand. I have a huge to-do list in my bullet journal, but I won’t get most of it done; let’s be real. It is nice to have a day off…thank you unions! And no, I didn’t make it to the protest march today because I didn’t know about it until too late, but yes! Protest the bullshit! Also the Zoom yesterday…I’m so glad that the closing ceremonies for my dual show at the Virginia Quilt Museum will be during Spring Break, so I’m planning on going out there and meeting my co-exhibitor, Lena Meszaros. Should be an awesome show, opening in January…come see us in the last week of March!

Seriously Bad Plan

OK, I think I remembered everything for today. Maybe. I’ll find out later if I did. I did come home yesterday and just finished my book. Because I wanted to. I worked too, unfortunately, but that’s a given with this job. You’ll come home and work at least a few nights a week, sometimes all the nights (ugh), or you’ll stay at school or come in really early to do it. Unpaid overtime. Fun times. Yesterday, my job was to get my rosters in order, figure out where all the special ed kids were (I mostly knew that) and read all their IEPs (individualized education plans)…they give us these short versions and they are mostly useless. Also, we have kids who should have these plans and don’t, because no one has ever identified him or the parents don’t want to know. The stigma…is apparently worse than your kid struggling in school. So I have one kid who doesn’t talk and another who never stops and two with Tourette’s but so far, no diabetics, kids who need heart monitors, organ transplants, or vision or hearing issues, beyond the normal “I have glasses but won’t wear them” and “I can’t listen to an adult because my brain is not fully developed”. No cerebral palsy or other diseases that will shorten their lives. We’ve had all of those. And they packed my classes full of neurodivergents, which is kind of my people…although I’m technically not one? Or am I? Hard to say. Art brain is a little whack and no one really tries to categorize it. So my rosters are done, my seating charts are mostly done, the first assignment is mostly handed in, and I’ll have to start grading things soon. Not today. Today I need to plan some during prep with the other two 8th-grade science teachers…and probably doing that for the next few preps. We’ve avoided it so far because brain power low. But we’re gonna have to psych ourselves up and do it. Ugh.

The art is slow right now. I only barely get an hour a night; partly, that’s my fault for reading when I get home and sometimes, if my blood sugar is running high after eating, I have to get on the stationary bike, and you know, one thing I can’t do on that bike is cut out little pieces of fabric. Unfortunately. Because I’d do it if I could, y’all. I totally would. So here’s Monday night…

So close, looking at the bottom of that top box of untrimmed pieces. Also, Nova was still supervising, but from below.

She likes to be around. Then last night, I keep thinking I might finish, but it’s like the box is the same amount of full at the end of the hour…

OK, I know it’s not, because I can see more of the bottom of the box, but do I know for sure that I’ll be done tonight? I do not. And tomorrow night is an artist talk at night, so IDK how much I’ll get done after all that. Ugh. I might be sorting pieces by Friday? And then starting to iron Saturday, but I already know my Saturday night is co-opted, so probably ironing all next week though…I know that. When is the 3-day weekend? I’ll be ironing then. For sure. So close to done!

Last night, I was dogsitting Annie and trying to type up rosters and this is her uncomfortable, need to be right next to me, position.

Yup. Paw touching me. Head down. Blood running into brain. She doesn’t seem to mind.

We ask the kids what they’re most worried about for the year…I did explain that worry is not the same as scared, but I also know who wrote the note on the right and he’s never telling us what he’s worried about. The one on the left is telling though…that’s a 13-year-old.

Me too, friend, me too.

No ceramics the last two days; too tired. I do like owls though.

Makes me want to draw a whole bunch of weird owls. In my spare time. Also I got my kitty’s cremains back and they are in this tiny box. She was so small at the end. At some point before I die, I need to bury all these boxes and cremains of all the animals who have helped me get through all the days…but right now, they live on a shelf in the bedroom. Weird, I know, but whatever. Maybe that’s a drawing in itself, all of them watching over me. Anyway, it was hard to pick those up and then think about going to ceramics, where I might have to interact with humans. Like nah.

So. To school…finishing up the safety assignment and then…well, we’ll see how it goes. Then pilates…my body will appreciate that. Then come home and blessedly not cook, but maybe read and definitely cut things out. MAYBE FINISH THAT. Nah, probably not. We’ll see. Staying up late to finish when I have to get up early tomorrow and have a really long day would be a bad plan…do you hear me, Art Brain? Seriously bad plan.

Totally Forgot…

Hmmm…there’s nothing like waking up on a Monday morning, getting ready for school, sitting down to the computer, and realizing there was something you were supposed to do over the weekend and you totally forgot about it. Oh yeah. I totally remember how school feels. Like that. Like this morning. Damn. It’ll be fine. Really. It will. There’s always tonight. Sigh. Even yesterday, I knew I had work, some work, and normally I would have done it in the afternoon, but I didn’t feel like succumbing to school on the weekend yet, so I didn’t do it until 8:30 PM. Not the best plan. Oh well. It’s done now. I will go write this other thing on the to-do list (which I made Friday and did not look at all weekend). Also, there’s nothing like food prepping a variety of breakfasts to get you through the next two months, and not wanting any of them when you get up in the morning. Score! Fun times.

OK, first full week of school with kids. Always a challenge. I think I mostly prepped today’s activity on Friday, which is good, because Advisory is only 6 minutes and I have to be on duty at 8:30 and I’m rolling late already. On Friday, I was amazing! I made it halfway to school before I remembered I hadn’t taken my insulin. OMG, yes, I had to turn around and drive back, so I didn’t have the day prepped, and first period suffered. I too suffered. I’m going to take my insulin right now. I used to take it at night and it was much easier to remember, for some reason. Morning brain foggy? Sure. That’s probably it.

I am still chugging along on the trimming…closer to done. Here’s Friday night, when we were going to go out to see a band, and that totally didn’t happen…

I can see some of the main figure pieces in there. Saturday night, I cut some more…

Saturday, we vacuumed the whole house, washed all the cat bedding, and I got the special pleasure of washing all the cats. Fleas. Ugh. The meds the Man was using were totally not effective. More meds are coming, but blech. It was a lot of work. So I’m glad Nova still loved me enough to sit with me. She made the most amazing yowling sounds during her bath. I think I started cutting out the flag there.

Sunday night, I’m definitely in all the little people and the gravestones.

And some veins and stuff from the main figure. I can see the bottom of the box, but I still think I’m two or three days away from done. I have almost 12 hours in at this point.

I went to ceramics on Sunday afternoon (hence part of the work chaos)…I need to get this part of the torso in the kiln, so I need it to stop breaking. Fuck me. Here’s me with everything laid out to reattach and reglaze.

Luckily, there was only one other person in there. She was spread out even more than I was. I have over 75 hours into this piece. Crazy. That’s the head in the front, under the plastic. I’m hoping to work on it today. But also to finish fixing things. I think there’s only one unattached thing right now (knock on wood), but some glazing needs to happen. Depends on how crowded it is. Hard to do with a lot of people around.

I did a little stitching down of things on Friday…with Nova’s droolio help.

I am really hoping to get these all stitched down soon. Too many other things to do. I delivered two quilts for a show up in Newport Beach on Sunday…the show opens September 12, but I can’t get there for the opening (it’s a Friday night…can we talk traffic?). So I cleaned those up, put a label on one, cut slats, packed them up, etc.

I hiked 3+ miles on Saturday…trying to make sure my blood sugar stays down for date night! And they moved the trail…

I hadn’t been here for a while and the entire middle section of the trail moved…not a little bit, but a lot. Weird. Maybe there was a sensitive environment over by the river that they were trying to protect? I could probably figure that out eventually.

This crazy ass caterpillar was in my yard this morning…it’s apparently a Rustic Sphinx moth…

Or it will be, if a bird doesn’t get it. It does seem like it’s ready to cocoon itself. Massive.

OK. School. I’m already getting texts this morning. Fun times. Teaching safety today. Then going to ceramics, then doing the work thing I forgot to do this weekend. I took pictures of all the kids and I need to put names on them. Ugh. It’s fine. I do it every year. It’s just time-consuming. Useful though. Helps me learn names and faces. Time to go. Get out of here. Go to school. No really, go.

Meetings…

First official Monday of the school year. Yesterday was the first Sunday and I totally ignored it…went to ceramics, prepped breakfasts (OK, that’s not really ignoring it), cut stuff out, stitched some things down. OK, I also did laundry and grocery shopping, so still not ignoring it…just not sitting down at the computer and sending emails. I did that Saturday briefly…wait, no, I did that yesterday. I so often end up in charge of things that I’m wondering, when I’m retired, if I will miss that. I will probably find something else to be in charge of. It is the way of my people.

Still need to get used to getting up at 6:30 in the morning and functioning. Not there yet. We night owls have a hard time with normal work hours. I do anyway. Today is an all-morning meeting about things, then nothing in the afternoon but classroom and prep. I’m sure I will have a few meetings pop up; they always do, but I’m going to try to leave everything at school for the rest of this week. I can do that for one week, right? Then my weekly emails from my team start, sent on Sundays. No grades until next weekend; that’s a plus, but I will have to do rosters and that stuff. Let’s hope there’s no other crazy stuff about to rear its ugly head. Here’s my team; apparently this is our 10th year together…

Mostly we get along. No really, we are like any group in that there are people who do certain things, and we work really well together and support each other, but sometimes, we need to isolate. So we do. That’s probably how we made 10 years.

I ironed Friday night; I really thought I’d finish, but then I looked at the clock and it was midnight and I was tired (up at 5:30 AM y’all)…so I stopped.

With about 5 planets to go…

So I did finish ironing on Saturday, despite having a long, mostly unproductive day, wallowing in Kitten missing. I’m still doing that daily…she was so tiny at the end and I held her until the end. And like I said before, here I am, in her space. Bowie keeps coming in and looking for her. Ugh. It’s fine; I’ll get used to her not being here. Maybe. So here’s the 187 fabrics I used in this quilt…

I love to sort by color. And here’s what I’ll be working on for the next week or so…trimming all of those.

I started that Saturday night as well.

Didn’t get very far; did another hour last night though.

It never looks like much at this stage. I’m going backwards through all the pieces, unless I flipped the pile at some point (which I did). But right now, I’ve cut out most of the planets, the stars, the sun, and I’m working on the spacey pieces in the sky. I barely started the barn owl. It’ll be a while. But it’s delightfully relaxing to sit on the couch and bingewatch stuff and not have to think too hard about anything. The sitting will help with the first two weeks of exhaustion too. Seriously.

I’m making a very strange head with a tree coming out of it for the ceramic sculpture I started in November.

Still needs eyes and stuff. Ears. Maybe. Yeah. Ears.

And I actually drew at dinner.

I’m going to have to start hiking on Saturday afternoons again so I can eat the dinner I want to eat. Revised. Blood sugar was high all day and then crashed Sunday AM at about 3. Fun times. When my body decides to be logical about how it deals with food, I’ll let you know. I think I’ve got it, and then it’s like, NO. You don’t.

Always true.

OK, meeting, then prep, then other meeting, then meeting here about trees, then collapse with a book. Then cut things out and repeat. Well, I don’t have to meet about trees again, but I’m sure tomorrow will be more meetings, just not full-school meetings in the library. For 3.5 hours. Ugh. Remind me to skip long meetings in retirement (which is still years away, but I’m still gonna think about it) unless they’re about things I love.

And There She Is…

People ask me sometimes what inspires my work (or sometimes, why the hell do I make what I make?). It’s just what’s around me…what I see, hear, read…and cats have been in my art since the early days. Kitten was no different. In fact, if I’m correct, she was in 45 of my quilts in the last 17 years. Geez. I must have liked her. Why do I put cats in quilts? They are in my life, my world, on my fabric, literally IN my quilts (that fur, y’all), on my quilts, on my computer, on my book, and they are comfort to me. They lie next to you, on you, claws in your clothes, drooling on your arm, biting you (Kitten bit me so many times, and once I needed antibiotics…she was mad), licking you, making biscuits on your near you, pouncing on your toes, waking you up in the middle of the night, in the morning, bounding on top of you, disrupting your book, your sewing, your ironing, your grading, your sleep, your yoga, and your meditation. Cats are pretty judgmental and often snooty, but they do love and come when they’re called…sometimes. Kitten got out once, through a screen, and disappeared for 24 hours and I freaked out. She came back though. And she swallowed thread once, after 10 years of totally ignoring thread, and cost me over $3000 in the summer to save her life. She had some weird genetic disorder and lost half her teeth, but still ate the hard food happily. She was feisty and sometimes vicious, but loved in the best way ever. And every time I come in here, into my studio, she is not here and I’m having a hard time with that. Do you know that this is the first time I haven’t had a cat (of my own…there are three here who belong to the Man) since I was 22? Yeah. Crazy. And no, I’m not ready for another one. There will be one…just not right now.

Oh man, the old sewing machine. On the left, Limbo, who was also 17 when he died, and Kitten at about 2 years old.

So here’s a retrospective of quilts with Kitten in them (Limbo is in some too…they all end up in the quilts at some point). From oldest to newest.

Disrupted, 2010.

Huge piece, made for the Sightlines exhibit. All the quilts connected with the two smaller pieces on each side.

There’s the detail. I didn’t always put the color behind her eyes…I had simplified cat drawing at some point. But in this one, it looked like her.

Green Tea, 2011.

I hand-dyed that background. Crazy how simple this piece was.

Water, 2012.

Most often, she’s on a shoulder.

And I often picked weird fabrics for the calico parts. A bell? She might have worn a bell in the early days. We did put collars on the cats early on, so we could hear them. Not any more.

Babygirl, 2013.

Interestingly named after another cat we had, an adoptee when my great great aunt died, but Kitten is in this piece, which won a Pussy award.

Earth Day, 2013.

Still simple.

I remember drawing this quilt in a cabin in Julian.

I Gave Already, 2013.

She’s in this one twice…the big plate the woman is holding was a list of all the things that were costing me money at the time.

But she’s also on my shoulder (and Ivy, the dog, is on my hip).

That might have been the year she swallowed thread. Can’t remember.

Wise Choice, 2013.

This is the quilt I made about Planned Parenthood International providing birth control to women who wanted it overseas, who couldn’t get it otherwise. It was considered political (why our bodies are political, I don’t know) and there was some questions about whether it was an OK topic for the show, but the curator, Carolyn Mazloomi, talked to me and said OK. It was my first introduction to Carolyn. This traveled with the Earth Stories exhibit for three years.

Here’s Kitten…

Bottom right, protecting the baby in the basket.

Love (not), 2014.

Rough year.

But there was a cat. Those Australian aboriginal fabrics are one of my favorites for calico cat coloring. So much variety.

Absolutely Nothing, 2014.

War, what is it good for? Yes, that’s a pile of men she’s standing on. Those who freak out about penises in my quilts should count them in this one. And there’s Kitten!

Awakening the Crone, 2014.

The crone, mother, and maiden in this one. Plus cat and owl on a shoulder. Look, barn owls before I had any!

In 2015, I made a bunch of smaller cat quilts and sold them all. The last one sold last year actually. Took it a while because it was the weirdest one. Here is Cat 6, 2015.

Owned by a friend of mine.

Here’s Cat 3, 2015…

One of my favorites.

Cat 2, 2015, owned by my mom…

And Cat 1, 2015, also owned by a friend.

Earth Mother for Ventura, 2015.

One of two quilts where I hid a cat in a boob.

In Deep, 2015.

Ivy the dog is on the right, fully asleep, and Kitten is checking out the bathtub. This is the first of a series of bathtub quilts, and she shows up in all three.

Part Time Oasis, 2015.

I can’t remember who argued the cat should have a heart, but I did add one.

The Goddess of Never-Ending Chaos, 2016.

There’s a lot going on in this piece, but Kitten is sleeping through it. That’s a Kaffe Fassett fabric I think.

Holding It All In, 2016.

Second cat in a breast. This was a response of mine to Earth Mother for Ventura, where I was told I could not have nudity. So this one has nipples. And a uterus. Although one nipple is part of the tiger pattern and one is a flower.

Give Me Time, 2016.

I actually have all the Wonder Under cut out for the head reversed. I somehow flipped the drawing and traced the whole head backwards and had to go back and retrace because the bird wouldn’t fit backwards. Haven’t made it yet.

Finding Peace, 2016.

The next bathtub quilt.

And Then There Was One, 2016.

A remarkably small piece with over 800 pieces in it. Crazy.

All Stacked Up, 2016.

Kitten hated water.

I Can’t Be Your Superwoman, 2017.

Simba is on the right of the stove, and Kitten is on the left AND on the burner.

More than one appearance…

MomSleep 2017.

This is a quilt that actually laid on a bed.

Not Less Than, 2017.

Midnight, our black kitty, died just before I drew this one. She’s on one shoulder…

She looks pissed off. And Kitten is on the other one, playing with a rocket. She was pretty playful until the last 18 months.

Some Like It Hot, 2017.

Calli (the dog) is on the left in this one, but also Kitten, who would occasionally walk on the edge of the bathtub.

We Won’t Go Back, 2017.

More man piles. Probably a penis or two. And Kitten.

Womanscape, 2018.

Yup. She made it into this one too.

Sweet Delicious, 2018.

Based on a poem I wrote.

Portrait of the Artist As a Young Woman, 2018.

Always a cat.

This quilt got stolen from a venue and put in the trash, but someone saw it there and called me. Thank goodness.

Heart-Shaped Box, 2018.

Curled up in a ball, paw over her face.

Bigger in the Outside, 2019.

Back to the shoulder.

Swallow Me Whole, 2019.

Can’t have a quilt about anxiety without a cat in it.

Oh wait, I was reviewing this post, and I found another Kitten in it.

Space Cat, 2020.

These are in order by year, by the way, but not in order within the year. I made this one after I put an astronaut cat in another quilt, Connected at the Hips, 2020.

So this was the first one.

Coronawood, 2020.

No pandemic without Kitten.

Here Comes Life, 2021.

Apparently she shows up for childbirth too.

The Way Out, 2022.

I’m making this one in clay. I think it has a cat too. It does.

Same As It Ever Was, 2022.

Shoulder cat. In real life, she never sat on my shoulder. She rarely sat on me. She was a right-next-to-me cat.

War Zone, 2024.

This was drawn well before 2024 though. The bottom bit was drawn at the end of 2023, but the original drawing was much older. I added to it though.

Seeking the Crone’s Protection, 2024.

That crone deserves a cat. Kitten was a head butter. Even at the end.

Lost in the Trees, 2024.

This was another old drawing made recently into a quilt.

Same fluffy cat that was in War Zone.

Portrait of One Self, 2025.

I mentioned before that Kitten spent the last year getting really sick and we’d think that was it, and then she’d rally. I drew this in one of the really sick stages. Didn’t think she’d survive to the end of making this quilt. Hence the wings.

She’s in here twice too. Another castronaut. Catronaut?

And last, but probably not last…because my brain does what it does…AI Is Not My Friend, 2025, the last quilt I finished with Kitten in it.

The original drawing on the right was repurposed into this drawing, so it’s older.

But there she is. She’s not in the one I’m working on right now, but I can guarantee she’ll show up somewhere in the next few months. Hard to imagine her not being here in the room, and all over my stuff. I’ll be finding her fur in fabric for years, trust me…Midnight’s is still everywhere. And she’s obviously in my heart and mind at the moment. Today is International Cat Day and everyone was posting cats and I’m like, but I don’t have one anymore. But I do. She’s in a whole ton of the things she made, and I even have a quilt my mom made of her. I’ll post that next week. I kind of feel like it was appropriate to spend a few hours today searching through all my work, looking for her. And there she is.

Remember Fabric

Summer Break is officially over; ironically, summer in Southern California is just beginning (it was like 97 degrees yesterday). We’ve got at least two months of ugh weather, depending on how bad the apparently nonexistent climate change wants to make it. At least I’ll be in air conditioning during the day, right? With 140 kids. It’s fine. I’m totally not ready and had to be up at an ungodly hour this morning…it was early enough that the baby barn owl hadn’t gone to sleep yet.

It was light out by the time I got out of the shower. I’m not feeling positive about today. I know some people totally get into the first day back, they’re all hyped up. I’m an introvert. A million people in the mall (yes, we are meeting in a mall on the first day) is not my idea of fun. Honestly, talking to people at 7:30 in the morning is not my idea of fun. They give us popcorn and soda (can’t have those) and then the new guy posted all the treats he has for us, and I can’t have any of it…it’s either chocolate or sugar or both (I’m allergic to chocolate, if you didn’t know, and diabetic). So whatever. I already have the nutrition menu pulled up for our lunch options, so I know the carb issues. How does a salad have so many carbs in it? Sigh. And that doesn’t even count the dressing. So I bring my stitching with me for the morning part, and I have a book on my phone, snacks in my bag, ready to walk if the blood sugar alarm goes off. Wearing my new school year shirt (we had to go in early and pick one up). I’ll be OK next week when the kids come. Just not a fan of the adulting part (the part with the hundreds of adults). And I get to be one of the first people to talk at our meeting this afternoon. I actually don’t care about that part. It works OK after so many years of doing it. Get up in front of a hundred people and talk? Whoopdidoo. Got it.

Here’s baby owl and a parent…

I’ve had a hard time being in the studio the last few days. Kitten is supposed to be in here. When she was an actual kitten, she was in here…

That’s my old office chair. I’m three chairs past that one now, I think. They’re always covered in cat fur though. Already just hanging out with me. Sigh. Poor baby. Miss her. Maybe I’m the poor baby in this equation.

So I spent a bunch of time futzing with Spargo stuff in the living room yesterday instead. I still have a million things to stitch onto the borders of Homegrown…

And then all the embroidery. I then checked on some of the other in-progress Spargos and cut out pieces for another month of the mushroom one (just finished a mushroom book…seemed appropriate), reminded myself I was close to done on one of the forest blocks, and remembered that the critter blocks are next on the embroidery list when I finish the Rooted trees…think I’m on June or July with that one, so another three? I think. I appreciate the brainlessness of following someone else’s pattern sometimes.

I did iron in here: two hours yesterday and two and a half the day before. I know it’s hard for you to see the difference between the days, but I can. Here’s Wednesday night’s progress…

Made it through all the swamp trees and maybe a little past that…looks like there’s two rockets in there.

Then yesterday…

I did all the space stuff…well the ‘sky’ stuff, which is the big blue and purple pieces you see, but not the planets and stars and sun…that’s all that’s left. About 100 pieces. Complicated because I try to decide what each planet looks like in terms of color, but not super hard like all the people pieces. I should be able to finish tonight and then start cutting them out. A good part of the process for the start of the school year…sitting on the couch and bingewatching a show the Man is calling “Call of the Midwife in India”, which it kind of is: The Good Karma Hospital. Light fare, but about helping people, certainly, which is what I need right now.

I was reading a book by T. Kingfisher, one of her shorter soldier series based on old stories (I liked the second better than the first, which was based on House of Usher)…and she wrote…

That’s definitely from the second one. They are definitely dark. And in the acknowledgements, even better…

I’m amused by that. The first is What Moves the Dead; the second book, which both of these quotes are from, is What Feasts at Night. The third comes out this fall.

When it’s hot, cats flop.

Nova makes biscuits. It’s adorable. Bowie is less adorable, but I still like him.

OK, damn, I have to leave in 15 minutes. Ugh. I did make it to ceramics on Wednesday, but it was packed, so instead of trying to get the big torso out, I worked on the head.

This thing will never be done.

And as we go back into the school year, one run by AI apparently (even in my district, they are pushing it)…see in June, when school gets out, what happens to the graph?

I am so amused. And not. Ah well.

OK. Back to the crowd in my head and my personal space. Remember to keep fabric at the forefront. Remember Kitten. Finish ironing tonight. All good.

Oh Kitten…

Well. I have two days left of Summer Break. I feel like a lot happened. A lot of it was awesome and a lot of it was stressful and it’s ending on a very sad note. On Monday, Kitten turned 17. We adopted her from one of the rescue groups outside of a Petco. She had been adopted out and returned for being ‘feisty’ (yeah, that never changed really)…she was supposed to be a Christmas present for the kids (it was December), but she latched onto me and was never anybody else’s cat.

We had two cats and two dogs at the time, so it’s not like we needed more, but the other two were getting older, so? Her original name was Holly, because we had mostly been naming animals after plants (of course, the current cats were Midnight…named by girlchild…and Limbo…who was supposed to be adopted out, but I was pregnant with the boychild and well, it was a baby). But she never answered to it and it never really fit.

OMG…look, CDs! WTF. Back in the day. She was feisty, which meant she survived the dogs…you know, I think we only had Ivy at that point? I think Calli came in 2009. So just Ivy and Midnight and Limbo…so she didn’t answer to her name, but she did answer to Kitten. So she became Kitten, and eventually I had to tell the vet, because they would call about Holly and I’m like, who the fuck is that. Doing well, y’all. Even back in the day. The kids were in elementary/middle school. I had just started to teach in the valley here instead of driving 45 minutes plus into the mountains.

Already sleeping on sewing supplies, even in the early days. That never stopped.

She survived many other animals coming through here. In the last month, we basically had to move her permanently into my office (she was already living there for like the last five years, although she’d venture out, even sleep with me…best memories ever of her curling up under my armpit, however uncomfortable it was. But Bowie was insistent on bugging her, so we finally moved her food and litter into my office. Yes it was a pain and sucked for me (I hate stepping on litter and it’s always everywhere), but it was more peaceful for her, and she needed that. She slept a lot the last few months. She had inflammatory bowel disease for the last five years or so, and we’d finally gotten medications that seemed to be working, until the last week. She would have episodes, like they do, and she’d rally. There were many times in the last year when we thought she was done. She’d lose a ton of weight and stop eating and then she’d come back. But this time, she was sick over and over again and I knew we were probably done. It’s hard to make that decision, and certainly it’s one I’ve been debating for a few months now. She knew it was time, even if I didn’t; Because she was so feisty, the vet had tags on her file, and when I took her in, she was purring and chill and headbutting my shirt, like she does when she wants love. So I gave her all the love I could and said goodbye.

And it fucking sucks. And I really need to stop crying because I have to go get my eyes checked today and swollen and red will probably impede the eye doctor’s assessment. Sigh. This room sucks without her in it. It all sucks. And I know if you’ve said goodbye to a pet, you know what I’m talking about. Shit, I still get tears in my eyes when my damn phone shows me pictures of Calli (the Golden Retriever) or Midnight (one of the best cats ever). And yes, there are still three cats and a dog in this house. The Man even said I could claim one of his cats as mine, and they all give me love and I give them love back, but it’s not the same. She was a sweetheart who bit me so hard last year I needed antibiotics, but she was my sweetheart. Fucking sucks.

Also the Man wanted me to count how many quilts she’s in and it’s a lot. A bunch. She’s the cat in most of my quilts.

Wet washcloth on the eyeballs before I have to leave for the eye doc.

So yeah, had an awesome time in SF, then got COVID, then put my cat down, now going back to school, so not ready. At all.

I spent a lot of time with Kitten in the last few days, ironing in here. Almost 5 hours on Monday…

Only 2 1/2 yesterday…

Before and after going to the vet. Difficult. I made it through the swamp and the ICE officers. Still need to finish a bit up on them and add in the children they are dragging through the swamp. Then the trees and that gets me into the 1000s…with about 350 pieces to go. I could knock that out today, but think I’m going to ceramics. Debating book club. Not sure I can do that. They saw Kitten in all the Zooms and I don’t know if I can sit through that right now. Probably not. And I’m hoping to get into pilates (haven’t been in SO LONG), but I’m still on the waitlist and it’s less than 12 hours, so…it’s all hopeful. So I’ll iron some today and tomorrow and hopefully finish.

My craft room, my office, my studio is where Kitten was. So hard to be in here.

OK, and here’s the politics. My school board has members on it who lie. This is a flat out lie. The top two are a board member and his wife. Absolute bullshit. No one is paying us to show up. We show up because y’all are idiots.

And IDK who Amy is?

When I type her name into our district mail, it does not pop up…which doesn’t mean she doesn’t work for us…she could be new, and I don’t necessarily get everyone on email, but also, no one in the fucking district calls it by that name, because that name is WRONG. She doesn’t say here that we’re being paid to show up (we’re not; maybe those parents are though). Please open your eyes, y’all. People lie to get their agendas across. Luckily, we have three board members who are not Project 2025 sycophants, and they renewed our superintendent’s contract and finally approved the sex ed curriculum, which contrary to parents, does NOT teach kids to be trans or LGTBQIA. It does try to teach them tolerance. Heaven forbid we do that. God wants y’all to be tolerant (another staff member was quoting god things with regard to Trump the other day…this is what will drive me out of teaching). Read the Bible a few times, and you’ll see that. It’s funny when the atheist knows the bible better than the religious folk.

ANYWAY. Not shutting up about the stupidity…and it’s obviously not going away. Neither is my headache, so I’m going to go take meds, cold washcloth on the eyes, and do the things. And miss my baby kitty.

Reality Check

Hey it’s a Monday. The last Monday before I officially go back to work, although I am in fact going to go lesson plan today with my coteacher. Because that’s what teachers do, y’all. On summer. When we don’t get paid. Why do I do it? Because my later-August self will be so happy that I didn’t leave everything to the last minute. I’ll be exhausted because school started, but things will be mostly planned, because the planning days they give us will get eaten up by stupid meetings. They always do. So. That’s what we do. This will be the third 4-hour session this summer for us. We’ve done more in previous years; we’ve done less. Luckily (or biologically), as of Friday, I started feeling much better, able to stand and iron things, and I tested negative for COVID yesterday. The Man is still paranoid as shit (he started a new job this morning after 18 months of unemployment due to a work injury that has still not been solved), so he does not want to get sick. I agreed to giving him the 10 days of ‘stay away from me’ and even wore a mask in the car with him. It’s fine. He would get much sicker than me anyway. Although this is the third time I’ve gotten COVID (that I know of), and he gave it to me the first two times, including the first day of school a few years back. Fun times. Strangely, I was not sick at all last time (18 months ago) and was definitely sick the first and third times.

So, ironing!! Oh bliss, oh wondrousness. It’s funny. Often I put it off, OMG, it’s gonna be so hard, especially this time, because Kitten is now living in the studio with me (it’s not very big) and so I have her on a rolling office chair, her food and water is in here, with the damn litter tray, and the ironing board and another rolling office chair for my butt, plus the 17 tables that live in here. I finally just up and moved a bunch of stuff into the girlchild’s room (needs to be managed anyway…although now that school is starting, ha!). It’s crowded, and I can’t reach some of the fabric because Kitten is in the way. She gets freaked out if I move too much around or over her, and rolling the chair out of the way is problematic too. So it means I am limited to the fabric I can reach.

I started ironing before I went to San Francisco…got about 2 1/2 hours in, but hardly any pieces. This thing is complicated. Lots of little things. Friday night, I did about 90 minutes, I think…nah, almost 2 hours.

Definitely did some flesh in there, although there’s way more to come. Not much in the way of color yet.

Saturday, I felt FINE. And I had nothing else to do, so I got about 5 hours done.

Yeah…moved the pieces into a bigger box (had to find one that wasn’t being used). Lots of little people in this…still not very far into the pieces though. I was trying to keep track of what flesh colors I used for which arm (this thing has a lot of arms)…

Then yesterday, I went over two hours, no, almost three, and got the main figure ironed…

Still lots of brown and earth colors. But another Statue of Liberty. So far, I’m in the 700s, but I haven’t done all the 600s, and I’ve ironed for 12 1/2 hours. So almost halfway? It would be nice to get all these ironed down by Friday (the day we go back). We’ll see. I have all day tomorrow. I have some time on the other days. I had to move the dentist and the eye doctor to this week. Plus you know, all the stuff I was going to do all summer? Well, I never get it all done and so I should finish it all this week. Ha! Not happening. Never does. I know I need the down time, and I did so many fun art things this summer. I am worried about my ceramics. Don’t know if I can get there today though. We’ll see. The animals are going to have a shocking day with no one home. They’re already freaked out. Ah well.

I like this.

Especially as a public school teacher. But boss, the president told me to! New boss this year. Ugh.

I definitely need one of these, but I would just ignore it. I have a nonfiction book I’m trying to finish (so much harder than fiction), and I tell myself to read a chapter a day, but every chapter is LONG. Like 30 minutes or longer. Yes, I am spoiled by short fiction chapters. Remember reading real books (I’m reading one right now) and you would have to flip forward to see how many more pages until the chapter was over?

Well now it tells me how long it will take to read it, so I can read one more before I go to bed. Or work. Or whatever.

In reality, I just keep reading. OK, I need to take meds, find my work stuff (it’s all in the bag I shoved it in the last time we met, in the beginning of July), and get out of here for a few hours. Reality check. Not the fun kind. Wait, is there ever a fun kind of reality check? Huh. Then run errands and come back and find time to iron a bunch of things on the main figure, before I iron the ICE swamp. Second quilt ever with a swamp in it. Same president. Same fucking swamp. Enjoying the last four days before the next school year starts. Deep breaths.

Still Down With It

OK. So I’ve been sick with COVID since Sunday night, apparently (sorry to my plane mates…I didn’t know). Yeah, I should have been masked, although I’m not sure where the girlchild and I both got sick. Hoping today is fever free. I am better…the first few days were very low energy and sleepy. I’m definitely increasing in energy, but was still running fevers yesterday on and off. I’ve canceled/rescheduled the dentist, exercise, lunch, not sure what else. I was planning on getting a booster shot this week, before going back to school. Oh well. Interestingly, the last time I tested positive, I had almost no symptoms. Not so much this time. Lots of sleeping and reading going on, and when I felt more energetic, I started appliqueing wool bits down to the borders of Sue Spargo’s Homegrown.

It’s mindboggling how long this takes.

Once I had tested for COVID, I moved into the girlchild’s room and my office, trying to limit the other people in the house from exposure. Hoping I wasn’t too late. It didn’t even cross my mind when I first started feeling sick. Silly really. The Man starts his new job on Monday and we’re hoping he doesn’t come down with it.

I’ve stitched down all the stuff on the top and bottom borders; I’m doing the side borders now.

Five flowers a side. Big ones. Time-consuming. Not hard though, which is good, because my brain is mostly nonfunctional. Amusingly, I’m also doing my district/state-mandated online trainings today, with about half my brain. Seriously, I’ve experienced over 20 years of integrated pest management and bloodborne pathogen trainings. The assessments are often stupid, making you memorize things that are not useful, like how big an opening a mouse needs to get in a building (all of them were small; you literally had to memorize which small thing they had mentioned in 28 minutes). I’m not saying we don’t need to know these things…it’s just a lot of minutiae.

Back to the stitching…there’s about 85 pieces that need to be appliqued down on the two side borders, and I probably have spent 8 hours so far. Not all of it this week…

Last night, I had Simba on the bed (past his bedtime) and Bowie coming to visit.

I kicked Bowie out later because he keeps climbing on shit and knocking things over.

Sleepy boy.

So I still have a ton of those to stitch down if I need more down time, which I probably do. I’d like to be energetic and well enough to stand in here (I’m in the office right now) and iron things to fabric…the thing I started before I went to San Francisco. I’d also like to have enough energy to go to ceramics, because it’s been a while and I’m worried about my piece. Not much I can do about it at the moment. I’ve had to move a bunch of stuff to next week that was supposed to happen this week, so it’s all of a sudden more full than I like. It is what it is, I guess. It’s now officially August and I have to think about school. Total mindset flip.

Meanwhile, the cats are all exhausted.

And hot…

Kind of with them.

There’s this…

No hubs but…and this is a joke, but I’d rather spend time making art, thanks.

OK, back to mandated reporter videos. I would like to thank them for making up a new complicated story for each year. Just watching this set of videos is traumatic. And having reported more than once, it’s too bad that humans can’t be better across the board. I have one anonymous card that I’ve kept for three years now. I do often wonder about that child and how they’re doing (multiple reports, police were involved, they sent the kid home with parents). Ah yes. And watching this training while thinking about the current government and the Epstein files? WTF. There’s a gap there that cannot be explained.

Sigh. Hopefully no fever today so I can be a little more active…starting tomorrow, I can be out of the house if I have no fever, although I need to track down a mask. Pretty sure there’s one in a purse or bag somewhere, or maybe in the car. I have a million at school…ironically. My gym bag? I’m glad I had enough books and brainless stitching lying around to entertain me, and furry beasts to provide sighs, boofs, and love. And someone to go out and buy more meds and food. Not that food is very exciting at the moment. I’m doing a lot of revising what I eat to get blood sugar to behave (hard when you’re sick). The CGM has been really helpful and I’m glad I finally agreed to it. Insurance is covering it completely, and if I keep up how I’ve been doing, my A1C will be coming down in the next three months. All good. Art. Health. Balance.