Hey Friday. This week has been confusing. Doc appointment yesterday meant I only taught half the day, got up first and worked, then went to doc, then to school. It was tiring, but being at school all day would have been as well. Just a different tired. Worked a lot of hours despite the half day. Grades are due Tuesday and I’m trying to get caught up. Always. Always trying to get caught up. This weekend is crazy busy, though, and that’s without putting grading time in. Ugh. Last progress report of the year though. That’s finally happening! Woo hoo. Getting to the end will be sweet. I hope. Gotta survive the chaos before that.
Speaking of chaos, I finished numbering the big drawing. Took two nights…
and almost two hours…
Numbers in a circle are because I couldn’t fit the number in that particular part, so there’s a line going to it…
OR the piece continues…there’s usually an arrow to tell me that too, to look for the rest of the piece.
There’s 1644 pieces. Actually, there’s 1647 pieces…I have two ‘a’s’ and one ‘b’ because I missed something as I was numbering and I wanted those pieces to have numbers close to their neighbors.
In the past, I have double numbered pieces…somehow started counting 40 or 50 pieces below where I was and had 40 or 50 ‘a’s’. I’ve also skipped pieces before, up to 200 of them. So you never know what my brain will have done at 10 PM on a Thursday night. Could be logical. Could be not.
I do know that now it’s time to trace…and I’ll be here for a while. Maybe 20 hours? There’s some big pieces in there. They take longer to trace. But there’s also a ton of little pieces. Because I’m me and that’s how I roll.
There are 34 days of school left. Four of those are testing, one is graduation, there’s one field trip to Belmont Park, and I’ll be out for two days. It feels doable and yet the longest stretch of time possible to endure. And my surgery will almost definitely be the first week after school gets out. Sounds easy, quick recovery (knock on wood), good odds there will be no nasty surprises. The house is finally getting fixed from January’s flooding…the drywall looks great. So painting the hallway and doing carpet is on the summer to-do list, maybe painting the bedroom as well, but that might be a bit much for me. I’d like to relax, read books, and make art too. Plus visit the girlchild. That would be nice. Hoping to do that in late July. We’ll see.
Nova loves geckos more than they love her.
Actually, they seem to ignore her completely.
OK. Teaching planets and gravity today. Debating how to go about it. Thinking more independently than not. I think that’s the way to go for my mental health. I’ll do the notes with them, and then they can go do the slides on their own. Easier on all of us. I can get some grading done and they can go at their own pace. We did that yesterday and it was pretty chill. I’m up for more chill, especially with two labs next week. Which ended up two days in a row because of my eye doc appointment and some crazy photography shit we had to shove into the week at the last minute, plus there’s an assembly. Crazy week. It’ll be fine.
After school, I get some clay time (I earned it), plus tracing at home. Apparently cooking dinner. Then get through the weekend, getting as much done as efficiently as possible. Which is mostly how I roll. When I roll (read, hike, sleep should be part of this). Come back next week and do it again.
Good morning. Or morning, as I prefer. I mean, maybe if I looked out my window and saw endless forest vistas and no humans, maybe that would count as a good morning, especially if I could roll over and go back to sleep, but that’s not really a common occurrence for me. Unfortunately. There are 43 days of school left. I did not accomplish much of anything this weekend except spending time with visiting family, which is a good thing…so there’s that. But I have no lunches prepared for school for this week (yet), I forgot to defrost my breakfasts so I’m eating cereal (at least I have that), I graded one assignment and posted one assignment, no two (it’s fine; I can do it during class), and I planned nothing for next week. That worries me a bit, but I’ll just have to work more during the week to get there. I also lost my mat cutter somewhere in the house, and I need to cut two mats. I don’t want to buy another new one. I know how to cut mats without it, but it’s a pain. So there’s that.
So WTF did I do? The Man’s band (Radio Thieves) had a show on Friday night…they opened, so I was home by 11 (good thing really…I was exhausted)…
I did not go to bed right away, though, because that would make too much sense. I taped more of the drawing together and added paper to the top and bottom for more drawing.
Went to bed way too late, then got up way too early (for my weekend brain) for the online SAQA conference. I did the morning coffee meetups, then took a shower, drove to the ceramics studio, and listened to all the webinars…well, in between people trying to talk to me. I did put a neck on the head and forgot to photograph it (I’m really bad at remembering to photograph things there)…then added grass to the bottom of the planter.
This was going to be a mug until I realized how big it would be.
All my home mugs have cracks in them right now. I’m waiting for them to leak. So far, so good. But I wanted to make a mug of my own. And since I don’t throw on the wheel, handbuilt is how it’s gonna be. I’ll get there. But this is a planter.
After ceramics, I putzed around the house a bit, trying to get my brain to function, then headed over to my parents’ because my brother, my SIL, and one of my nephews were in town to visit colleges, and we were gonna hang out. Which is what we did…both Saturday night, and then Sunday night, with a hike on Sunday afternoon as well. Lots of family fun and arguments about nipples. Don’t even ask.
Saturday night, after we came back, I finished the binding and sleeves on this…
It just needs a label and hanging slats and it’s ready for delivery on Saturday…but I need to frame the drawing; hence the need to cut the mat, so that’s a thing to figure out this week.
Here’s one hike picture…
And one nephew picture, with Simba…
Last night, we got home later and there was no art happening. There wasn’t much of anything happening except folding my laundry. So there’s a hefty to-do list this week, but it was worth it. Not sure how Kitten feels about it.
Yeah. I feel that way this morning too. Fill up the teacup a little more.
This sucks. I’m glad I was able to see some of her work in person in Los Angeles last year.
Her work was some of the first quilt work I saw that wasn’t traditionally pieced and seemed to tell a story. She was an amazing storyteller. The world will miss her insights.
Leaving you with this…
Am I the only one who wants to know what’s under that black rectangle? There are a lot of pictures of emotional support sharks on the internet. Who knew?
OK. School…kids are finishing up an assignment from last week that does not require a lot of my input, except for all the kids who were absent half of last week for Eid and other excuses, so yeah, that’s fun. I can hopefully plan some space stuff for next week (if the other teacher answers me) and post things for the rest of this week, plus write sub plans to be out half a day for literacy on Friday. Fun times. Then a staff meeting about state testing and hopefully ceramics studio time, plus yardwork, making lunches for the rest of the week (it would be nice to have something besides random food I found in the freezer), starting to iron that one quilt together or drawing the next big one. The sewing machine is awaiting parts with no estimate of when they will arrive. Frustrating, but I will survive. No, I don’t want to borrow other people’s machines. I hate trying to sew on other people’s machines. I will just do other things until I get mine back. Thank you. I’m so tired, y’all…I guess this is how we do the next 43 school days.
Hey. Am I glad it’s Friday? Fuck yeah. This week has been a mother. Not the good kind who takes care of you. The other kind. One more day of school…well, 44 more days of school. Had a third of my kids out yesterday, more like half on Wednesday. And yet we teach on! We’re so close to state testing that we can’t just stop. Since the start and stop of Ramadan are dependent on the sightings of crescent moons, some kids didn’t know when it would start (they should watch the news!). And some came back yesterday…but some said they wouldn’t be back until Monday. And then the other kids seem to be out in sympathy with them? Or? Whatever. Most of this week’s school stress has been adult-related or program-related or organizational-related. This whole year has basically been that. The kids are not horrible…they’re not great sometimes. There’s a lot of apathy that drives us nuts, but there’s no constant bad behaviors that make the days horrible, like last year. So that’s good. It’s just a lot of other stuff: do this, do that, now do this. Ugh. I don’t have time to do all the things.
Anyway, today they are working on a natural selection comic, which is pretty chill, so I can like grade homework or plan space…I should plan space. I’m teaching that a week away. I need to figure that shit out.
So exhaustion. Too many late-night wake-ups, not going to bed early enough. This morning’s blood sugar was high…because I was dreaming? I don’t quite remember what I was dreaming, but it was stressful. Environmentally stressful.
Keep making things. That’s my plan. So I had enlarged a drawing I did before. I had some ideas for a crone quilt, but these women are too young, but that’s OK. I think I can make it work like I want. I don’t like the middle head, so I’ll need to fix that. Anyway, Wednesday night, after pilates and working on school stuff, I started taping this thing together…
I did not finish. There’s a hole in the middle. There’s more legs. It’s going to be big. I’m OK with that.
I also started the handstitching on the binding last night…
I should be able to finish this over the weekend. The Man has a show tonight and my brother and part of his family are in town, but since I need to deliver this next weekend, it needs to be done. Also I need to find some decent matboard in my stash to frame the drawing that will hang with it. Ugh. Time.
Absolutely no clay has been touched since Monday. I was hoping for today, but I have to take two animals to the vet after school for regular tests/etc so they will continue to give us meds.
Luna looks like she’s about to attack Simba, and Simba looks like he knows it. The boychild is working part of the week, so Simba gets to sleep with us. He’s been pretty good.
I did have my stitching meeting last night, so I got this mostly done, except for the flowers…
Check out the book Kitten’s reading.
It’s a very visual way to figure out what things in nature are. I read through a bunch of it Wednesday night when I couldn’t deal with life. It’s always amazing how little we know. Fascinating stuff though.
OK. Watch them draw today, encourage them to be done drawing. Finish planning. Do the other things that need doing. Take animals to the vet, figure out dinner, then go watch the Man’s show, which thank goodness, is early. Then sleep, beautiful sleep. Or maybe stitch for a bit first. Then get a million things done this weekend. No problem.
Happy Eid! If you celebrate it. I have a chunk of kids who will be out for the next three days. Unfortunately, I can’t quit teaching for those days, so I’ll need to record some videos at some point to explain what they’re missing. Because it’s a lot of my high-level students. I’m not sure WHEN I’m going to record those videos because my to-do list for school hit epic proportions yesterday. EPIC. Ugh. I drove home in a daze, on the verge of tears just because I didn’t know what to do or ask next, so many threads to an uncontrollable ball. So I came home, had a snack, read my book for a bit, and called my mom to ask if I could come borrow her sewing machine. I hate sewing on unfamiliar machines…it takes longer to learn it than I want to spend…especially when I know this step shouldn’t take long. Mom’s isn’t the same as mine exactly…it’s the fancier version, two releases past mine, so it’s close enough. I quilted…
Lots of tiny things. I finished quilting in a little over an hour…
Then I trimmed it and put the binding on. I usually zigzag the edges after putting the binding on, but it would have meant replacing the plate, and I couldn’t find the zigzag plate, and I was tired and it was 8 PM and I hadn’t eaten and the day was a shitshow (well, not teaching…it was fine, successful even, but the adult crap just sucks), so I didn’t zigzag (don’t tell…I’m sure it’s fine and that’s some Type A shit I do sometimes when I sew and the quilt will be fine). I went home, started dinner, honestly I should have just reheated leftovers, but I didn’t eat that artichoke last week, and they go bad, and I love artichokes so I cooked it. Nova guarded the quilt…
I pinned it before I went to bed and will sew it starting tonight…
Progress! It has to be delivered next weekend, so it needed to get done.
Monday was the eclipse. I stole two pairs of glasses from the boychild because I forgot to buy them at the store, and pulled two of my classes out to see…
Some of the kids were like, oh, ho hum, and some of them were like WHOA. So that was good. I told them I’d meet them here for the next one in 2044. That seemed to jolt them a bit.
After the 2-hour staff meeting on Monday, where we had to be able to concentrate and read and take a test (not MY brain in the afternoon), I went to the ceramics studio for 90 minutes and made a head.
The chin is an issue, and I haven’t dealt with the top and the lips need some help, but this clay isn’t groggy enough for me to do much. I need to let it solidify a bit. There’s paper towels inside and I built a little cradle so it could harden up in a round shape. We’ll see how that goes, because I can’t go back until probably Saturday. Ugh. It’s too tall for my shelf now, so once I put the head on, it needs to be ready to go to the drying shelf. Which is crowded at the moment. It’s fine.
Monday, I also finished cutting these out.
I sorted them too…
So that one’s ready to iron together. Then I need a machine. I’m not used to having so many in-process things at once. My brain is not happy. I also need to start a new big one and I’m waiting to hear about possibly needing to make another one…I think some people don’t realize how long it takes to make my stuff. Especially when I’m teaching. And having surgery. And work on my house. And and and. Well, making clay too.
Anyway. Today. Gotta get things done. I’ll be binding tonight. I already know that. So that’s progress and it will feel good when it’s done. I like to check boxes. It makes me feel less like a chicken running around with their head cut off. Which is very much the now feeling.
Oh hey. Apparently I missed Wednesday. What did I do Wednesday? Talked to someone who is going to stabilize the stained glass near my front door (it’s big, it’s old, it needs help). Went to the ceramics studio and forgot to take pictures. Remembered why I like going places late at night so no one will talk to me. Why do older men always wanna tell you how to do things. And then they say, “I don’t want to tell you how to do it” as they go on and tell you how to do it. Sometimes that’s helpful, but dude, see the airpod in my ear? Only one, because I’m female and we don’t feel safe with both in? Well maybe I’m bringing both next time. Graded some stuff. Went to pilates. It was a pretty chill day, honestly; so chill, I forgot to write. I don’t do well without routines. Well, let’s put it this way, I use routines to get shit done. And sometimes I ignore all that and get nothing done. I did finish my book actually, so that’s a thing.
OK. So I’m officially panicking about school again, because yesterday did not feel productive except in the plant-buying department, and now I have to plant them, so that’s on today and tomorrow’s list. The buying has been on the list for over a year, so I’m doing well. And I didn’t get two I needed. Also doing well. But I finally got down to Native West Nursery, which is all California natives…think the stuff you see when you go hiking. So I picked up some native ceanothus and some other fun stuff that should appreciate my slope. And maybe then I can stare at the chain-link fence less and butterflies more. That’s my plan anyway.
The Little Barn is the retail section; it has native seeds too, but I was afraid of the checkout bill if I looked there too. So I didn’t look. So I can go back. Limited hours though.
That was yesterday…all the errands I never get to. I went to Freeform Clay in National City, because they’re not even open on the weekend, and I needed glazes. Buying them online just seems weird. So I did it in person. Hopefully I did a good job. So many decisions. I don’t have room on my shelf at the studio for them, so I will have to do what I see other people doing: carrying in boxes of stuff. It’s not like I’ll be glazing every time I go in. I did take one picture on Monday or Tuesday, whenever I went in before…
But now one arm is attached, the other hand has an arm, there’s another bug on the torso. So many changes. I was going to go in yesterday evening, but I was tired from all the driving around San Diego County, and then school whacked me upside the head. Fucking A. That will be the next 10 weeks. Begging for time for art. Anyway, hopefully today, I’ll get the other arm on and decide about head and heart. Probably need shoulders first. I can only build for about an hour before I have to let it harden up. I made a pot on Wednesday too, because I wanted to try it. This sculptural piece actually started as a mug that went wrong. I do want to make a mug, and that was the plan, but that new one would have been way too big…like think about pouring the whole teapot in and having to boil more. So it became a pot. For plants. I need to decorate it. I can still make a mug, although I’m running out of shelf space. Finish the pot, keep going on the sculpture, then make a mug. I can do all the things. I figure an average sculpture for me will take all month to build if I’m back at school. Two days a week. It’s OK. I’m going to be OK with it. I knew the next 2 1/2 months would be hard.
In art quilt news, I’m still missing a sewing machine. I called yesterday; they said ‘soon’. I’m like, ‘how soon’? No answer there. It’s fine. If it gets to next weekend and I don’t have it, I’ll go over to mom’s and use hers for the thing that needs to be done by the following weekend. With binding. It’s small. I’ll be fine. Although I should think about binding fabric today or tomorrow. Next weekend just got more busy with family coming to town. This weekend…I was going to go to my guild meeting, but the FEMA inspector is coming by. Hopefully with a check. OK, that’s not how it works, but I’m hopeful. Anything to make up the shortfall to pay for the carpet would be nice. I also need to finish my taxes so I know how much I owe. I’ve been slogging through the data on that. I’m getting there. Slowly.
But I am working on the third unfinished quilt for this Spring…I started ironing onto fabric Monday night…
Then Tuesday was a clusterfuck of doctor’s appointments (meeting with surgeon in late April, thing in eye is not discernable by anyone but my brain) and an opening of Trauma at the Hyde Gallery at Grossmont College…this is my piece Doctor’s Orders…
And me with my eyes dilated, trying not to squint too badly. Woo! Not a way to see an art exhibit, by the way. The show is up through April 18. It’s a college, so the hours are during the week.
Back home to iron more things…all the flesh. Side-eye provided by Kitten…
Stayed up late to do that. Like you do.
This is all that’s left after that, all the non-flesh, non-background things. It doesn’t look like much, but it took two nights to get through it…
Heart, cat, trees, etc. There’s everything used by Tuesday bedtime.
Then Wednesday…
More color!
Then last night, I finished it off…
A closeup of the pile that now needs trimming…
It took 6 1/2 hours to pick the fabrics…
Only 71 fabrics…and a cat head. In case you think there’s ever a time Kitten is not in the room with me. She’s here. Old and decrepit, sometimes smelly, skinny, needs pets. But here.
So tonight, I’ll start trimming.
I trimmed three trashcans worth of yard stuff Monday and Wednesday…found this…
Totally molded on those branches. I always feel bad removing them, but that plant needed major trimming. NEEDS. I didn’t finish. Maybe not today, because rain. Plus planting supersedes trimming. Also found this…
Looks like some predator bird lost hold of dinner. Sorry. I popped it off the branch and into the undergrowth for some small thing to eat. Ew gross though. Aged alligator lizard.
Some other notes. The Man. Asleep. But the sisters are being nice to each other!
Nova usually gets kicked off the bed by Luna, because Luna is a jealous asshole. But this went on nearly all day.
I trimmed the ferns and found a bunch of freesias underneath, and now they’re blooming, which is lovely.
I love freesias.
And this is my school self, lurking in the back of my head.
I know going back is going to be hard. But at least there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. Speaking of light, there’s a thunderstorm that just popped up over us. Super dark and rumbly. Probably not a good time to go out and plant. It’s OK. I need to write warmups and posts for next week. And finish my taxes. And plant 11 things. And go do some ceramics. JAYSUS. That was thunder of the crashing type. Not so rumbly. OK. Maybe gonna unplug the computer. Make another cup of tea? Not a driving day today then. School? Ugh. I’ve worked almost every day on school stuff over break. Never done. We were supposed to go on more hikes and maybe a trip to a winery. None of that happened. Oh well. It is what it is. Survival mode again. Still need to go in and copy one thing for Monday. Not gonna wait until Monday and fight the copy hordes.
Here’s owl video…I’ve been hearing a baby at night…
And then it started hailing here…
Always fun.
Fun start to the day. Certainly makes you mentally redo your to-do list. Maybe that’s a good thing?
OK. It’s official. My Spring Break to-do list is taking over the world and there’s no stopping it. It just gets worse every time I try to cross things off of it. I mean, right now, I’m staring out the window at a beautiful blue spring sky and the yellow clover flowers (are they clover? I don’t know. The bunnies like it whatever the fuck it is…it’s definitely a weed, but it dies off pretty easily, so I only pull it when it’s in the way of something else that’s trying desperately to grow) are covering the slope, and all I see are the new growth suckers that need to be trimmed off the ashes, and that one branch that seems to be broken and hanging toward the ground. UGH. So much yard work.
Last night, I sorted the Wonder Under pieces finally (didn’t have the brainpower on Saturday night)…it took a whopping 14 minutes, y’all. So I could have done it at any time.
And here’s why I put it off…I then needed to spend 90 minutes cleaning the office so I could pick the next quilt’s fabrics. I folded, I ironed, I cleaned up. Mostly. So tonight, I can iron. Sigh. I want my sewing machine back dammit.
Saturday night’s opening was busy and overstimulating. Here’s my piece, Damaging Earth’s Fabric in the Allied Craftsmen show at the Oceanside Museum of Art.
And me in front of a piece by William Leslie and Alessandra Colfi…
That was about all the energy I had for the night. It rained all day until we left (well, and then rained on the way up). I was tired. I didn’t make it to the ceramics studio in the morning like I’d wanted to. I ended up going after we got home from the opening. I was tired and irritable, and wanted to get to the next stage on this thing…there’s a fine line between too hard and not hard enough to support stuff. So I went in at 8 PM for about 90 minutes and got some more coiling done…
Made a cat butt…
And then added it to the thing…whatever it is. OK, it’s human, mostly female. I think. Think about my drawings made 3D in clay and that’s kinda where I’m at right now.
IDK if the boobs will stay put…everything was a little soft. Ha! Not really. We’ll see later today hopefully. I need to find out how tall I can go. The head might need to be separate. I also just signed up for an sgraffito class. So there’s that. Yes, I still love fabric. Yes, I’m still making quilts. I’m just side-obsessed. It’ll be fine.
Yeah that. Constantly. Mostly I’m OK with the awkward. Sometimes it’s awkward.
That’s not entirely true. I’m still grading things and trying to lesson plan. There was a cat in the way this morning though and the chair was in the sun, so I let her have it. I’ll do some later.
Here’s cat TV…
That moth was still wriggling.
OK, doc appointment (lots of those this week), then I need to do some of the to-do list, then go to the gym, then go to ceramics. Those are all good things. I can read my book at the gym. It’s a nice day out too. So some yardwork is called for. It’s a Monday but not a school day. I can enjoy that.
A day late. That’s OK. I was in the mountains. I forgot it was Friday. Today is Saturday. If I keep telling you what the days are, maybe I will remember them myself. I have doctors’ appointments next week; I have to remember to go to them.
We were up on Palomar Mountain for a couple of days…one full day really. It was nice. It was cold. There was still snow up there. We had a discount to stay in a really nice yurt and it was cool.
These are nice yurts (Baileys on Palomar)…take advantage of discounts if you can. We had a mid-week discount. I’m pretty sure it’s snowing up there right now though, so I’m glad we came home yesterday.
Inside was warm, sometimes too warm. But nice.
My drawing brain was mostly out of it. This one isn’t going anywhere.
And this one might. Maybe.
We couldn’t get a fire started the first night…pretty sure the wood was wet from the previous storm. The second night, after 5 firestarters and some weird juju of frustration (the Man’s, not mine…or the fire’s, for that matter), the fire started and kept going…me drawing by the fire…
The Man telling me about something circular…
It was cold out. I think this was still firestarter fire, not real fire.
Eventually we got cold and came back inside and got violent and slappy with this game.
I won.
That was after hiking to Palomar Observatory, which I’d never been to. The hike wasn’t hard or long…well, it was 5.3 miles with 800 feet of elevation. So not too bad. Certainly my legs were feeling it yesterday.
Those are some really big acorns…
My app says Canyon Live Oak. Acorns and their caps fascinate me. I brought caps home. Dunno what I’m going to do with them.
It’s funny, I only saw the observatory once from the hike until we were on our way back.
It was cool. San Jacinto in the distance…definitely snow up there too.
It was a nice day to hike…mostly not hot, mostly not too cold.
Definitely at elevation snow. Not a lot by the time we got there.
I stitched a little too…finished this block.
I remembered a chalk pencil for the bike. Started another block while I was there.
Forgot the proof of life picture. Yes! We were in the same place together.
It happens.
We came back, cleaned up, I peed some dogs. The one on the right is hunting bees. Or bunnies. Hard to say which.
Stood in line for 3 hours at a quilt store that’s closing so I could use up my gift card and my mom’s too, because she showed up halfway through and handed me more. Then held my place in line so I could find more stuff to buy. She’s a good mom. I’m supposed to be at the ceramics studio right now but there was a full on flood-level band of rain that came through and dropped like half an inch of rain, so I didn’t drive in it. I will now, because I think that band is done and I can wait out the next one. There’s an art opening at Oceanside Museum of Art tonight, though, and that’s gonna be a slog if it’s still raining this hard. Ah well.
Last night, I suffered cats. Lots of them.
They missed us. And then I finished trimming this one…
Time to sort and then to iron. Meanwhile the girlchild and friend camped in the Northern California band of this storm last night. They were not washed away.
There is a tent under there. There is also a rain fly. The tarp is just extra. I wonder if there is a tarp underneath as well? Hmmm. Did we train her well? Maybe not.
OK. Art opening tonight. Ceramics studio for now: gonna see what came out of the kiln plus do another level on what I’m building…maybe start something new? I need to be back here by 3 PM I think. Ugh. I’m sure it made sense to sign up for things weeks ago, but today’s brain is not up for it. Typical.
Hmm. I am drop-dead exhausted. Hoping I’m just fall-slowly-to-the-ground exhausted once I get this cup of tea into me. We should never do field trips on Thursdays. Coming back to teach on a Friday seems like a mistake for everyone involved. And yesterday was a doozy. Not violating any kids’ rights here by saying that. But if you see a teacher today, you should just spontaneously hug them and tell them it will all be OK. They may push you away and stare at you funny, but most of us would just lean into that hug.
When I think about teacher training, I realize how little of it actually helped me do ANY of the things I do now. I haven’t been trained on most of what I do. It’s instinct, or I figured it out by trial and error or with my teammates or coworkers. Some of it is common sense. Sometimes Mom brain kicks in (or caregiver brain for those who aren’t moms, because some people have that and it’s not because they gave birth) and we do the things to make things OK. Or not. We do the strict things that aim for OK in the future. I just know that I had planned to take my book to the gym yesterday after school and I did not. I came home and just sat on the couch, staring at pictures, for a good hour or so before I started working. Because I don’t want to work this weekend (I’ll have to anyway, but I’m trying to limit it).
So I graded one thing and fixed the final grades on another thing and then input them for the parent meeting later today, which may be contentious. Imma be chill. I hope. I don’t have a lot of filters at the moment. I’m trying to rebuild them by drinking tea. Nova is being very helpful, by the way. She is actually lying ON the gradebook. Which I realize is her way of saying, mom, stop working, but I needed to get that done. It’s OK. When I got up to heat up the 17th cup of tea (not really), she took over my spot.
Cute toes kitty. I won’t usually move her. She snores lightly. I just sat next to her and finished stuff. Hopefully I’ll have a prep period today to finish other stuff.
Art stuff: I finished ironing on Wednesday night…
It took a little less than 3 1/2 hours…for 313(?) pieces. Not bad. Then last night, I started cutting them out.
I’m probably halfway? I have a bunch of letters to cut out next. They’re time-consuming. I need to pack a quilt tonight to deliver tomorrow, and the Man has a show at the Music Box. Thank goodness he’s the opener, so I can be home at a decent hour…to collapse into bed, because I signed up for a quilt Zoom class tomorrow morning. Like an idiot. Like an idiot who wants to do fun things and not just work. So that is why.
Yesterday’s field trip was to the Midway, which is not my favorite.
I prefer animals to badly posed mannequins.
Although, if I were more of an abstract artist, that would be fun to make as a quilt.
I could have used this in the kids’ bathroom.
And this just made me giggle…
Mostly because I don’t know what a gimbal is. And it’s such a weird sign if you don’t know what the things mean.
It’s a military boat. It’s a lot of walking, lots of ups and downs. It’s not the most exciting thing. I had a group that would not stay together. I lost one kid and found him (well, he found us) and then lost three at the end, which was a problem. So I walked about twice as much as I needed to (knees held up), and then came back to school to a major issue that sucked. Still sucks, but less so. Wasn’t how I planned to spend the last 90 minutes of the school day, but whatever. It’s All in a Day! Perky smile and face and tone! Oh I don’t do those well.
I did read for about 45 minutes last night. I do love this character.
Ironically the same name as the cat who was lying next to me. Weirdly appropriate.
Here you go.
Anyway. Meeting this morning. Teaching all day, which will be hard, I’m sure. Probably talking to some kids/classes about yesterday’s events. Duty after school. Contentious parent meeting after that with principal and team. Then home to pack a quilt to be delivered. Then eat something. Then show…home…sleep? Maybe fabric trimming somewhere in there. I’m not gonna feel bad if that doesn’t happen though. It’ll be OK. It’ll happen tomorrow.
I don’t know what’s happening to the school weeks, but it seems like the first two days are the hardest. Tuesday nights, I’m like, WTF just happened. And why? Yesterday was a masterful example of that. But I made it through…and am hopeful that today has less stupidity involved. But probably not. I had to hand back last week’s homework and tell them to redo it. They hadn’t been explicitly taught by ME how to do it, but I gave them everything they needed in order to do it. They just didn’t use any of it. Not the notes, not the slides, not the genotypes I had them write on their paper and told them to use. Mind-boggling. So I guess the plus is that I don’t have to try to come up with another homework before break. I had two and needed a third. Otherwise everyone (but 6 kids) would have started the trimester with an F. I saw a teacher video about apathy the other day. Yeah. I care way more than they do about their grades. And promotion. And going to high school. Sigh. That’s not entirely true. Some of them care. Just not enough of them. And I realize as a parent that a lot of the dumbass behaviors we are seeing is precisely because some of these kids are worried about going to high school.
So less of that. I had a sex-ed curriculum meeting after school…the ‘last’ one until APPARENTLY WE ARE MEETING AGAIN NEXT YEAR? WTF. I did not sign on for all this. Ugh. I left early to go to ceramics class, which was fucking awesome because it was slab night and all we did was slam clay into the table. I needed that outlet. That was fun. I had an idea last week to try to make ceramic bases/forms that could pair with fabric, so this was the first idea…
It’s a box that hangs on the wall, but the body parts are on top. I’m imagining a little quilt hanging inside the box. I’m hoping anyway. We’ll see how that goes. I also made a tiny tray, just because I wanted to try the rollers…
Not perfect; I ran out of time. Next week, it’s make what you want…so I need to figure out what that is. And then I think we glaze. And then I consider whether I can pull off a membership here. I want to. We’ll see.
I did iron Monday night…
Almost done…just have a bunch of bugs and a bird to do, hopefully tonight. I’m borderline exhausted. Or maybe it’s just people related. We’re going on a field trip. My team is driving me bonkers. I just need consistency and that doesn’t happen. Plus the kids are whinier than heck about going. ‘My friend isn’t going so now I don’t want to.’ Your friend got suspended for hitting another kid from behind. You should pick better friends. I’m not redoing all the lists. You’re going. Shit. I think I have to redo the lists if that kid isn’t going. Oh crap. I’m out. Seriously.
FOCUS ON ART.
This year has been burning me out since September. A teacher friend yesterday said something along the lines of ‘oh yay, we only have one trimester left,’ but I’m like, I don’t think I can do another one. I just don’t have it in me. Next time someone tells me to call a parent, I’m gonna quote the district on self care.
I wish that were true, but it’s not. I always give a fuck. That’s part of the problem.
My meditation app decided to teach me German last night.
Luckily he didn’t talk in German, although it might not have mattered, because I stopped listening and just started counting the breaths. It was all I could handle.
Final picture of Nova conquering the scratching toy.
Oh wait! I have video of Kitten making her toothless face…
She is a good kitty. And I love her goofy face.
OK. IDK what to say about today. It has to be better than yesterday. Well, except that clay stuff was fun. I just came home and read my book. I couldn’t do anything else. Tonight is pilates and book club. Hmmm. Not sure I’ll be mentally aware for either of those. Tomorrow is the field trip. Yikes. We couldn’t get buses for Friday…that would have been better. Coming back for a Friday…ugh. It’s OK…I’m going to finish ironing fabrics tonight so I can get to the next stage of this little quilt, so I can eventually start drawing the big-ass crone quilt that’s growing in my head. That’s a plan.
Lots of people ask me how I do art stuff every day (and I don’t…I’d like to, but…), and the reality is that I have a fairly hefty art drive that MAKES me make almost every day, and if I don’t, I start to feel off, cranky, bereft, pissed off, sad, ugh, growly etc. So I try to balance all the other shit I’m supposed to do AND make art every night, and one of the number one drives toward retirement is the way my day job has sucked all of that time away from me and just takes more and more and more. Since COVID in 2020, I can’t get that balance. I can’t get enough art time. And I just get more and more frustrated with the time demands. Beyond frustrated. Art Brain is like a little kid who was promised time to do something they really love (read a book, swim in the pool, go to the beach) and then it’s a no. And not a good explanation for why (because I have to work). So of course it pitches a fit. You would too. Right now, Art Brain is counting the days until Spring Break (21 days, 16 actual days in school) so it can do more fun things. I haven’t told it about all the house things we have to do, because we can’t afford a weeklong camping trip like we usually do. So yeah. BUT…I am going to start a big drawing between now and then (need to finish some art stuff first) so I have one going for the end of the school year. To get me through. To PULL me through, because I think that’s what it’s gonna take.
So all I’ve been doing the last two nights is sewing binding on (and grading shit because the trimester ends today).
I do like sewing binding by hand. It’s relaxing. And those two colors are fucking awesome. And it’s for someone I really love. So it’s OK. But I’m also glad it’s done. Well. Almost.
Nova is such a sweetheart. She bumps her head up and starts kneading the air (and sometimes me)…
She’d be ON me if I’d let her. But it’s hard to stitch when she is. So she settles for there. And when Simba is here, HE’S there. And those are good things. The quilt is done except for one area on the back where some stitches did something that I can’t quite figure out (looks like a knot), so I need to tease it apart, tie it off, and maybe requilt that bit. And THEN it’s done, which is good, because the baby shower is tomorrow afternoon. But when it’s done, I can do my own stuff. Well, sort of. Because I’m doing an interpretation of somebody else’s stuff first and trying to make it my own and I’m not at the point yet where it feels like mine.
I did have a mental aha moment Wednesday night when I realized how to combine the ceramics and the quilts. So I’m going to try that. The girlchild is also taking ceramics and we had a cool conversation by text last night about that stuff. I do appreciate the change in medium and want to try to continue. We’ll see how that works, if I can make the two work together. It’s worth a try.
In other news, it’s Friday (OMG THANK THE GODDESS). Stressful week…both in trying to get kids to think and do things, but also in trying to get stuff set up for the next unit and there’s a field trip that may or may not happen and OMG there’s some other counseling thing that they haven’t told us about yet. I just want to come home and read my book and draw for a bit and stitch for a bit and trace for a bit. And get some yardwork done before it overwhelms me (too late; it already has). And clean house things because they’re gross. And not feel like I’m not allowed to have the time to make art because the day job is so all encompassing…do it for the KIDS. Hate that. I do it for the kids all the time. On the daily. Constantly. Wake up to thinking about them, worrying about them, trying to figure out how to engage them and help them learn. Fall asleep to it. It’s never-ending. I need some time off from that. Also I need some time off so I can plan the next unit. Which is thinking about them. Ah well. Art. It calls. Loudly.
