Read a Damn Book…

Where we at, y’all? We are FRIDAY. Before a 3-day weekend. I’m right here, ready for it. Although my extra day has 2 doctors’ appointments. Nothing bad. That’s today. I had to take a half day today to get the boob rescanned and twisted (you ever had one of those mammograms? We gonna take your boob and twist it, and then put it between two pieces of plastic and make it flat as a pancake. You OK? You’re breathing funny.). So sure, it’s nice to skip the last three classes of the day, but not to sit in radiology and do all the things, and then do them again because the radiologist can’t see what they need, and last time, they actually came in and directed the tech…directly…so I was there for about 2 painful hours. Not looking forward to it. The odds are that it’s nothing, that everything is happily benign, but the mental prep is still a challenge at the moment.

So there’s that. But I might actually get to HIKE this weekend (it’s been so long) and make some art and read my books and not think about work (I’m gonna have to think about work…I’m only fully planned for next week…then it turns into a clusterfuck). I’ve been slowly cutting out pieces…

Slowly because I’m not getting much time in because there are too many other things I’m doing. I copyedited all of the slide presentations and student worksheets for the sex-ed curriculum because I couldn’t stand to see all those errors. It took me about 3 hours and I know it will make ME feel better to have done it, but other people are telling me I’m stupid for working for free. Yeah maybe. But it’s for my own sanity. ‘testicals’ was one example. Nope. Uh uh.

I also entered two art shows in the last two days and that takes time, so that’s part of not having enough of it to do things, plus book club.

Nova is a sweetheart. Also it’s cold. I did finish my book for book club literally one minute before the Zoom started. It was good. The book. And the meeting. So yeah. A mystery starring 60-year-old women…Killers of a Certain Age by Deanna Raybourn. Definitely recommend. Fun. But murdery.

So more trimming of the fabrics will happen this weekend, plus I need to start the one for that other show. I have some shows coming up…one at Oceanside Museum of Art that opens March 30, with Allied Craftsmen. And one pop-up show at Art Produce on February 24…one day only!

Come see a non-quilt piece of art from me, dating back to the early 90s. Crazy!

Have you seen Nova upside down? She is still cute.

OK. Today. Will be short for school and kind of painful.

This is from that book…and it’s interesting, because I get this all the time, not that I want to hurl myself off a cliff, but it just pops into my head…mostly when I’m driving over big bridges. It’s terrifying. Now I know there’s a word for it.

I guess I want to survive. Well, I know that. I’d just like it to be less about getting through one day at a time for a while. I could use some of that. There’s 126 days until I get to the end of this school year. Not short.

This one is probably a better plan.

Thanks y’all! But no thanks. I’m done. It’s been a week. The chemistry unit for 7th grade started and it’s a bitch and a half to prep and clean up, but I’m buried in it, fucking BURIED, and I’m not even teaching 7th grade.

Anyway, with any luck, I’ll be home early…maybe I’ll even treat myself with a cookie or something after the big squeezy. Once I deal with Friday traffic from Mira Mesa. Yeah. That’s not fun. I am taking my book with me. For when I’m lying there half naked, waiting for the radiologist’s proclamation, or for the time after the one thing before the next thing (can’t remember if ultrasound is first or mammogram is). I can READ A DAMN BOOK. Yeah. Then tonight, cut some stuff out with that adorable kitty and probably a puppy. Do some drawing this weekend. Go outside. Those are good times, y’all, good times.

More Chock Full…

This weekend is even more chock full than I thought. I’m getting some stuff done, though…but probably not all of it. Today will be a little crazier than I thought. This week might be a little crazier than I thought. Oh well. Roll with it.

I have one class left to grade of the big huge assignment. I need to get it done like now. I also need to calendar the week, so I can get a hold of the minutiae. I need to quilt. I need to write the warmup for the week. I’m sure there’s other crap I haven’t even thought of…laundry, team email, groceries. OK, I’ve thought of those.

Yesterday, I had a school thing to go to, repping for the team. I live closest to school, so it’s easy enough to show up for the girls in science. I got to see one of my kids from 4 years ago too, and she’s still interested in science, so that’s cool. Planning on going to college in a science career too. All good. Although not necessary. I just want them to find their happy, their passion. My kid from this year, who is normally so self-assured and confident, was terrified. She’ll be fine. She’s awesome. She doesn’t know it yet though. School is the safe place. She fits in a slot there. This is bigger and different. I hope she rocks it.

I did quilt yesterday…I was right…this is quilting really fast. I’ll be fine with the deadline…

Although getting binding…not sure when that is happening. That’s the problem with my job and the open hours of the quilt store. So I’ll have to figure that out. They used to be open later one day a week, and they stopped that. It makes it difficult. If today weren’t so crazy (I keep using that word), I might go today. Thinking about it.

Yesterday also meant a trip to Campland to watch the man play…I stitched…

If you don’t face the kickball game, you will get hit in the head.

Chair turned around toward the stage (kickball was over). At this point, it was starting to get too dark to stitch, so I quit…

But I got a bunch done first.

I also tried to draw…

It was a little too dark for it. Lights from the stage got in the way of a successful draw. I was trying to record it too. We’ll see how that looks later. I’m constantly trying to think of what I could record for the Patreon. I have one video that’s done; I just can’t show it until after June 30. So there’s that.

Friday night, we went to the opening of Bhavna Mehta’s new exhibit at Art Produce…The Body Is a Home…

As always, her work is beautiful and different…

I’m taking a class from her in July about papercutting and embroidery. I just want to try new things. I think it’s important to consider how to branch out from the work we always do. It’s easy for me to make art quilts. I like my women’s art group because it makes me do different things than what might be easy. So we’ll see how that goes.

Kitten is often frustrated by the geckos…

And yet fascinated. Me too, Kitten. Me too.

OK, so many things to do. I should start with shower and food, and then try to make sense of the world after that.

We’re All Broken Pieces Floating by*

Really, brain? Once again, the night before I have to be up early for school, you decide that being completely wired and overthinky is the way to go, that sleep is just something for the weak. Rough for me, because Friday night wasn’t the best sleep night either. So I went to bed early Saturday to try to help, because I had to be up and out relatively early Sunday…but then the dogs got me up even earlier. UGH. Sleep. I wish it were easier. I really suck at it.

It’s interesting, because one of the things we’re supposed to talk about at our two-hour staff meeting today is teacher self care…but it’s my job that kept me up last night and Friday night. So. There’s that. Meditation. More of it.

That said, I got a lot done this weekend, all this pissy shit that needed doing: I graded two weeks of makeup work, I cleaned the bathroom, except for the floor, I ordered meds for me and the dog, I went to two art meetings (which just means more work I gotta do, but that’s OK), I checked a bunch of stuff off the to-do list. That’s what I do on weekends. Gotta get done. There’s so little time after school some days. Certainly being at school until 6 PM on Friday didn’t help.

And I did a little art stuff. So that’s nice too.

Oh yeah! We walked the dogs…I don’t usually have them Saturday, but the ex was out of town for soccer, so we ventured out into Spring-like weather.

They were happy.

The pup and cat were sharing one of the few Winter sunshine locations in the house Saturday morning too…

Big enough for two small ones.

Then after the first art meeting on Saturday, we headed out to an opening at Art Produce…this is Back Pocket by Max Lofano.

Obviously the weirdest little things he had picked up while walking around. Very purposeful and organized.

And then work by Lynn Susholtz, who runs Art Produce…

These were fascinating. They wanted to be wood, but I’m not sure they were…but there were drawings on and things inserted into them.

I really wanted to touch them. But art. Need permission. Anyway, always an interesting installation there.

Saturday night after that was a lot of this…

And eventually I fell asleep there and then went to bed, because I was really tired from not sleeping Friday night.

Sunday was a little better, although I spent a chunk of it in a car and at another meeting. Funny how they all hit at once and they all want the same thing. OK. Trying to get all that done. But meanwhile, after eating dinner and while still watching Watership Down (man, that book was weird, somewhat creepy…definitely makes me look at the bunnies in my yard differently), I drew.

So many things wrong with perspective on this. Oh well. It’s pen on paper.

And then the catch-up project for Sundays is using the dyed moons I got from Jude Hill…I had freezer paper cut for these shapes, so I found fabrics for them.

Of course, this is only 4 out of the 12. But I want to finish these and then decide what to do with the next batch. It might be more figures…

It might not. We’ll see.

I’m starting with some real basic applique and then plan to add embroidery.

With the moons part of the block…

The moon is going in the hole in the middle…that will be easier once the rest is sort of stitched down.

Even here, I don’t necessarily do what’s easy.

So we’ll see where those go. They’re ready for applique next Sunday.

Then I finally started the stitchdown on the swallowing heads piece.

I gave up when the machine started pitching a fit. I think there’s thread stuck somewhere, because I rethreaded everything. But I got some stitching into it…more on that all week, I suspect. Grading, stitching, hopefully more solid sleeping. That’s my goal for the week. Exercise too. But first, school. I was smart and prepped mostly on Friday. Two days of labs…it’ll be good.

*lovelytheband, Broken

I Went in Seeking Clarity*

I did pretty well yesterday practicing being a normal human being who isn’t holding down three jobs on a random basis…I haven’t started copyediting yet. I think I’ll do that tomorrow. I have been working on the quilt that has to be done and photographed by January 1. But even spending 3 1/2 hours ironing yesterday, which puts me at 6 hours total, and about a third done. That’s it. (Laughing hysterically in my head). And schoolwork? Didn’t fucking touch any of it yesterday.

Good job, Kathy. No really. We have to live a life that’s worth it. And the art is always part of that, although venturing out of the house occasionally is also a plus.

So I had some Christmas shopping I needed to do, which made driving to an arts and craft sale (a really nice one) a good plan. And it worked. Because I got a good chunk of the shopping done. And then I was rewarded with this…a flight of awesome ciders…drunk while watching the guy prep pomegranate seeds for a future batch. Amazing place, Serpentine Cider up in the Miramar area.

This art on the wall…also awesome…

Wood burned and painted…totally amazing.

Then we came home and I spent about an hour and a half piling up flesh pieces…which I then had to cover up so we could go to an art opening…because I couldn’t get it all done. It’s not even done now…I just picked a place to stop (everything but the little heads on top).

So I have loved Bhavna Mehta’s paper-cutting work for years. You’ve seen her work here before. She did some community work, helping people make wearable paper art, and last night was the (very crowded) opening at Art Produce Gallery. Bhavna had her floral/leaf strips hanging from the ceiling, and then the women who had created works were walking around…

And there were pictures of them with their creations on the walls…

It was very hard to get photos of anything.

But I tried…

Some dinner found its way into our gullets and then I came back to iron all that flesh down…

I still have to do the little heads, but I couldn’t handle the giant piles any more.

And these are all the other pieces of the body that aren’t flesh-colored…so lungs and heart and tattoos and I don’t even know what else. That will be today maybe? After I finish the heads. We’ll see. I was going to do some schoolwork today too. Plus I’m doing a holiday card workshop. Why? Because I felt like it. Yeah, I already know how to carve a lino block and print it, but this is easier than trying to do it here. And I can walk away from the cleanup! Yeah, I know…whatever.

It’s a week off, but it always goes quickly. There’s so many errands and tasks associated with the holidays, so it makes it a lot harder to feel like you got a lot done this week. But I’m gonna try to be efficient as hell.

*Indigo Girls, Closer to Fine

Peace Through Scissoring…

Hid myself in the gym yesterday. Nice and cold. Reading my book. Peaceful. Achieving something useful.

I came back home and tried to finish tracing Wonder Under, but the girlchild needed more water before her game, so I packed up and headed out into the sweltering heat earlier than I wanted…only 100 pieces done. Like it’s cooler in my house (it’s not. It’s the 7th pit of hell here.).

I spent the time before the game writing…this story I’m writing has a mind of its own. I read the last paragraph I’d written and didn’t remember writing it. Trance writing apparently. And the story is writing itself in a direction I wasn’t expecting. I’ll have to figure out if that section really belongs. But for now, I’m going to keep writing. Sex scene and all. My goodness. Who knew?

Soccer in 100-degree heat…it doesn’t look so bad in photos…it’s not like the flames of hell are on the field.

The girlchild made two goals and they won the game…4 bottles of water later. I even left her my water. A mother’s sacrifices…never appreciated.

I left the game early for the Fence/Barda opening at Art Produce in North Park, so I missed the end…

The opening was nice, lots of people and interactions above and through the fence. Here are my two birds outside the bathroom.

My friends showed up and hung out…we ate and had a good time. Thanks y’all. I do appreciate you.

Things have changed a lot since we originally installed, but I think it works. The American and Mexican sides of the fence are definitely different: one very formal and one very loosey goosey. Strangely, the installation process was flipped…we (the Americanskis) were very methodical in installation, even though things moved around. The Mexican contingent is still delivering pieces, somewhat due to border and vehicle issues, but their side is very formally presented, while ours flows and hangs and moves.

There’s my house on the right…and the birds I helped hang in the windows.

You couldn’t walk in and find the Kathy Nida piece. There were no uteri, no boobs. It’s not like that.

Anyway, so it was a good opening. There are more events associated with this exhibit and another opening. I’ll post as we figure that shit out.

Once I got back, I was determined to finish tracing pieces, no matter how late, no matter how much wine I had ingested. I finished up around 11:30 PM. It took 11 hours and 38 minutes to trace all the pieces, about 1080 total.

Today it’s over 100 degrees again, and I keep looking out at the clouds, hoping they will bring rain.

They didn’t, but hopefully temps should drop tomorrow. It’s still in the 80s and it’s 10 PM. Ugh.

I’ll start cutting Wonder Under out today…tonight…right now, I’m dealing with school stuff, designing an online assignment on food and another on zombies. I graded a bunch of things using the iPad, which was nice, because I could watch PBS on the computer and grade on the iPad, although it would be nice to have some sort of a notes function in Edmodo to use while I’m grading things on Google Docs. Maybe a rubric I could click on or something. Wish I were technological enough to design the stuff teachers actually need. Maybe it’s all in Google Classroom and I just don’t know it yet.

Anyway. I’ve meditated and it’s time to Wonder Under…although I don’t think I’ll be done by Tuesday night. Oh well. That’s because I worked on other things.

Like I sewed the binding on the LAST of the bird quilts. Well, I thought it was the last of the bird quilts, but apparently someone else wants another owl.

Yeah, but do they want a WHITE owl or a PURPLE owl, or an owl of an entirely different color? And can they wait until December? Because I really really need them to be able to wait that long. Rainbow Fucking Owl.

I finished Owl 2, Bird 15 today. It actually still needs a label…

But assuming she still wants it, it’s a goner as of Thursday. I might do cats next. Not for a while though. I’ve got stuff on my plate.

I spent only an hour cutting things out…

They were a pain in the butt. I was tired. It was hot. Damn, it still IS hot. And although I definitely should be asleep, I’m not. Because. That’s the way I roll. Badly and with limited rest. My goal? To finish the Wonder Under trimming in the next two nights (could be an issue) and start ironing fabrics Wednesday night, so I have something to cut out on Thursday night at quilt class. If not? Maybe I’ll trace one of the smaller quilts I need to work on as well.

But there’s progress. The progress gives me some peace. I feel it in my chest, like someone took a deep breath and gave me all that oxygen. Like there’s something in my head that feels the scissors tracing around the edge of each piece, analyzing how each piece should be cut out, with the minimum of Wonder Under and fabric waste, but not so much time and energy on the cutting out that it borders on the crazy. I did meditate tonight: once with the Headspace app and the nice British man, and once with scissors and Wonder Under, a careful trimming of the good from the bad, a metaphor for how to live, to cut out the shit, the crap that was thrown at you, the bullshit that people make up in order to excuse their bad behavior. Yeah. So I cut that. And tomorrow I will cut more.

Wonder Under meditation. I should charge admission.

Not in My Nature…

Oh Holey Batpuddle. OK, so the plus is that I have had a breakthrough on the painful drawing of death (it’s not really a drawing of death. It’s a drawing that was trying to kill me. It failed. Fuck you, drawing. I will prevail. I am way more stubborn than you are…Yes, I am arguing with a drawing that is coming out of my head and is composed of paper and pen). I got it to the right size (even this was an issue on Friday and Saturday nights) and then penciled in the legs…

I wanted to make sure the proportions were right. I already have issues with the length of the arms, but have decided I don’t fucking care. Once I had them in pencil, which yes, required some erasing and redrawing (apparently I think people have HUGE feet), I inked in most of the bottom.

I kept thinking I should add more stuff on the bottom bits, but I do need this to actually GET MADE. It’s not anywhere near done, of course…the tibias and fibulas are missing. Extra credit points if you know what those are. Of course, then crazy brain popped in and suggested drawing phalanges and the other foot bones, so I slapped myself around a bit and moved on. I’ll work on it again tonight, although I’ve been exhausted all weekend, despite TRYING to get more sleep, so I don’t know how well that will go. Yes, I wanted to be done with the drawing by tonight. No, I won’t be. Oh well. Moving on.

I also worked on one binding last night…

I have two more to put on, one ideally by Thursday night, but it’s the smaller one. I think I have another week or so for the larger one.

In the morning, I had an idea for adding something to my floating house…

Last-minute decisions. A human figure that hangs down on the inside.

I will never be able to sell this for the time and materials I put into it, which is kinda sad.

Oh well. The cats will be quite happy when I bring it home and hang it so they can reach it.

I spent most of the day dealing with stage 1 of the Art Produce install…

Which was supposed to be hanging all the houses. We spent the first hour locked out (ah, the wonders of miscommunication) and tying fishing wire to the houses for hanging.

We had a wide variety of types of houses. Most people did more than one…

I decided to do one big one…

Linda Litteral’s houses are beautiful…

Hand-drawn on tracing paper glued to wooden bases.

We got the fence parts in place…

Installed some hanging apparati above…

And I spent about 2 hours going up and down a 10-foot ladder, tying fishing wire to the supports above. I was a little tired afterwards.

One of the other artists was going back today to install a bunch more, and we’ll all be there this afternoon to install birds.

Here they are attaching the fence to the wall…

Art Produce is a gallery in North Park (San Diego) that has applied for nonprofit status. The exhibit we’re installing is called Fence/Barda, and is in coalition with a group of Mexican women artists who we have barely met. There is an American side of the gallery and a Mexican side.

But mostly the houses went in today…the inside of mine from below.

I was down there for 3 hours yesterday and it will be another 4 today. We got the fence location put in place and then moved it out of the way so we could start hanging houses. Then put it back with a ladder on each side for installation purposes.

I finished the two birds for this exhibit. If you come to the show (the opening is 6-9 on Saturday, September 13), the birds are all selling for $100. This meant I had to spend less time on mine than I had with the original versions. First of all, the birds are all 8×10″, so that was smaller than my originals. Then I didn’t bind them…I just satin-stitched the edges. I also didn’t put a sleeve or a label on them…I just wrote the info on the back of the quilt and sewed on two little rings that can hang on nails.

This is Bird 11, Dove 2:

And this is Bird 13, Diving Bird 2 (although this one is less divey than the original):

They will be in the show through October; if they don’t sell there, I’ll put them up here when the show closes.

I’m also possibly hanging a quilt that I never finished from way back. I’m taking it in today and asking if they want it…it has two houses on it and it’s a significant departure from the work I do now, but we have some blank wall space on the American side and I think it might fit. I just need to put about 2-3 hours into finishing the quilting and putting a binding and sleeve on it. I was going to do that last night, but decided that I wasn’t going to put time and energy into it if they didn’t want it. So I’ll take it today and see what they say, and if they want it, I’ll finish it by next weekend, when the Mexican contingent installs…I can just go over and hang it on the wall in about 5 minutes flat.

Anyway. So I made lots of progress yesterday. I’m exhausted today and still have 12 things on the to-do list, not the least of which is getting ready for school tomorrow. Yikes! And the girlchild is in a mood (finally school stress starts to weigh on her). I miss the boychild. We had a brief text conversation yesterday about the lameness of Mexican food at Cornell (a shocker). We would FedEx him burritos, but suspect they won’t make it.

My mood’s been halfway between too busy to even notice how I feel (there are pros and cons to that) to sinking well below into the depths of yucky shit. Fun stuff. I’m hoping artistic progress will keep pulling it back out. A girl can hope. Whenever you think the depression might be gone or reduced, it comes back to remind you that no, no it’s not. HERE I AM. Whatever. Fuck you. Now I need to jump on the rest of my to-do list for the day. While many people are lazing around, planning their Labor Day barbecue, I’m trying to decide what I’m taking to an installation potluck (I’m not making anything…there’s just no way) and how to fit 10 more hours into the day. Such is my life. I keep making more work for myself. Trying to draw the lines…I won’t do this or that, I will keep a balance. Ha. It’s not in my nature.