Brains…

Hello Friday, who snuck up on me. Probably a good thing. At the end of Tuesday and Wednesday, I was questioning my ability to get here. And now I’m here. Had to think about it this morning. What day is it? What am I doing? Should I be getting up and showering (usually yes)? Grades are due Tuesday and I’m mostly done. I have about 8 packets that were turned in late that I’m trying to get done, and last night, I graded the redo-from-hell (seriously that assignment needs a rewrite for sanity). I had like 10 to grade and it took over an hour. I needed brainpower and quiet for it, and no one was around last night, but two sleepy cats, so it worked. Finally. Then just pop grades in and be done! Like that’s a fast thing. Maybe tonight. We’ll see.

I just realized there’s a quilt deadline coming up and I have absolutely nothing for it. Everything is out, sold, or it’s shown in Southern California at some point. Yikes. I need to be making faster. I do WANT more time to make. And that’s been really hard over the last 4+ years. This year is a little better, because I have help, but we are often upending the apple cart and starting over, which takes time and effort. I’m a little over it. Unfortunately. The next unit we’re doing, on space, I’ve never gotten a consistent story of how to learn the things…so maybe this is the year? And then I go back to 7th grade.

Artwise, I’m still forcing at least an hour a night…plus most nights, I’m doing 30 minutes on the other quilt. The goal is to finish things. Wednesday night’s ironing included the brain and face…

And that other hand…and the teacup.

Then last night, I missed the quilting time because I was grading and didn’t eat dinner until 9 PM (it’s nice to have everyone gone, but when they’re not here, I sometimes forget to eat…whoops.).

Your bog-standard brain on fire and surrounded by barbed wire. I laid out all the 1000s next. My goal is to finish ironing this together by the end of the 3-day weekend. It’s 600 pieces and a bit. I’ll need to put some more time in for the next four days, but I should be able to do that, right? Yes. Yes I should. Day job, fuck off. Still don’t think I can make that deadline, but at least I’m considering it.

I’m pro wolves.

OK, I’m tired, not a shocker. I have ceramics after school. Gotta figure the arms out. I’m teaching the electromagnetic spectrum today…actually, a huge portion of today’s lesson is how to cut and glue correctly. Fun times. Then dinner will happen and quilting and ironing and maybe grades; depends on the time. A long weekend will be appreciated. February is full of them. Then the long stretch of March happens. A random 3-day weekend would be nice, but my school board puts those in the fall. Dunno why. OK. More tea, more action.

Made It to Halfway…

It’s amazing how quickly I get tired…I’ve been trying to train myself to go to sleep earlier again. I just suck at it. The boychild says I can easily train myself to be a morning person, but I’m not so sure. Maybe when you’re younger. I know Monday night, I’m trying to fall asleep, and my brain is just tossing stuff out that needs to be done. I finally gave up and pulled up the calendar app on my phone, and scheduled a bunch of stuff. Then I could sleep. As the week goes on, with every morning an early wakeup (tomorrow is even earlier ffs), I get tired enough to fall asleep before the meditation app turns off. Pros and cons of that. I’m trying to carve out art time, though, and that’s usually after dinner. I should’ve graded last night, but I didn’t. Monday I came home and took a nap…and we didn’t even have kids on Monday! Just an all-morning staff meeting. I’ll get used to it; I always do. Maybe. Right now, it feels like I need a tea injection. My fault for taking the head meds late…they make me tired, so I have a reminder on my phone to take them at 8 PM, but then I keep forgetting and not taking them until bedtime. Ugh. I don’t think they’re going to work anyway. They’re another migraine medication the doc wanted me to try so she could finally rule out migraine for the visual disturbance I have…she calls it a ‘scotopia’ or a visual disturbance. I call it the swirling universe and am convinced it has alien origins. She laughed at that. At least she has a sense of humor. The scotopia is not quite correct, because I am seeing colors…anyway, I think she really doesn’t know what it is and it will either go away, stay forever, or eventually turn into something the docs recognize. But for now, I’m taking a medication for migraines that I don’t seem to actually have. So there’s that.

Art! I am ironing, and finally hit halfway last night. I’m mostly in the fussy little bits, so there looks to be very little progress from day to day. Monday night, I ironed the heart with all its flowers.

There were quite a few pieces in there. I also added some bits and pieces to fill in blanks. Last night, I did the arm and the neck.

I’m in the mid 800s, so halfway. Still fussy shit going on, trying to make everything fit. The bottom was getting too heavy; it kept pulling everything off kilter, so I removed the teflon sheets from the bottom and rolled it up.

You can see it all rolled up there. You can also see the ginormous quilt I’m quilting for (this is my plan) 30 minutes a night. It’s for a friend of mine. Her mom made the quilt before she died and was able to quilt it. It’s large. I’ve managed to quilt all the way around the center medallion, although I will add some quilting in the middle once I figure out the rest of it. The next step is to quilt around some of the outside icons and then do an allover stipple in between all of that. The hardest part is that I got a bag of thread with the quilt, but I don’t know what mom wanted. How I would quilt it vs how someone else would quilt it? I try to channel mom thoughts while I’m quilting…it’s weird…I’ve done finish-up quilting on projects before for people who needed help finishing something up for someone else, and there is a moment while you’re working when you picture the person and try to think what they would want or need. Definitely communing with intent. Or for intent? I’m not sure. It’s a strange headspace. Anyway, I feel much better about it now. It was an overwhelming project when I first took it, and now it’s just ‘do this one thing’ and then ‘do this other thing’. One piece at a time. Much more manageable.

I did more clay on Monday…honestly I thought I’d be doing clay stuff all the time during break and that definitely didn’t happen. I barely made it in. Which sucks. But whatever.

Shoulders. Still not sure how I am going to handle arms. There’s a roll of plastic-covered paper towels holding the boobs up. Some sagging is allowed. But also, the weight is all pitched forward at the moment because of the construction I’m using to fit the two parts together.

Lots left to do. I haven’t even started decorating this part. The other part is over on the drying shelves. AND…I’m almost out of this clay. I’ve used almost 20 pounds. Crazy. Hopefully I’ll be back there on Friday (possibly exhausted by then).

So we dropped the owl box…definitely bees in there…

You can just see a bunch of bees and the honeycomb on the right.

I talked to a very helpful, very nice bee woman who lives too far away to help us, but she gave me some ideas. I ordered another owl box. This one needs to move with its bees, we think. Someone local will need to help with that. The bees probably won’t survive being moved out right now. Not enough resources. So I’m still trying to figure out how to handle the next part, which might just mean moving it over 10 feet so we can put a new owl box on. We’ll see. My brain is overwhelmed with school right now, so I’m taking small steps each day toward my to-do list. Yesterday was an art thing and a retirement thing. Today will be bee things.

Yesterday, we started Unit 4 and I actually finished a cover page the same day I started it.

Sort of miraculous that.

OK. Teaching light vs sound waves today. Kids are reading out loud as characters in a story. We have new seats, new folders, a new unit. Kids are still tired. They got a lecture about trying harder and redoing work when it wasn’t up to standards. About how they’ve already done hard things and they can still do hard things, that hardly anything goes right the first time. Meanwhile our grade file opens tomorrow and I have some more stuff to grade. I do love their confidence sometimes though. Actual conversation: I filled out the regrade form and you didn’t grade it. I did look at it, but didn’t see a change. I got a better score. Did you get my email? No you didn’t email me. I did, on December 27. Oh. If you can screenshot your score, I’ll change it. Otherwise, I can’t grade something I can’t see. OK, Ms. Nida; I’ll do that. Luckily, I keep pretty specific notes or I wouldn’t remember anything.

After teaching, I have pilates. I’m not cooking tonight, so hopefully I can read my book a little and then grade the silly things I have left to grade. And then quilt and iron after dinner. I’m better with routines. I get more done. I need the breaks from school, but the break in routine doesn’t always help. Still tired, by the way.

Just to Be Clear…

OK. Monday. There’s no kids at school today. But I will be at school today. It’s not horrible. Well, 3.5 hours of a staff meeting is never a joyous occasion, and I’m cranky as shit, which is lovely. Need to go make art for another three days. But there’s a taco cart at the end of it and apparently I don’t have to hang around all afternoon, but I already left stuff on my to-do list because I thought we had to hang around. So I’ll need to do that shit whether I want to or not. And then I’ll go to clay and I’m not cooking dinner tonight, so hopefully I’ll read for a bit, do some quilting, and then iron away. In preparation for the kids showing up tomorrow. Which I am absolutely not ready for in any way, shape, or form. Just to be clear.

Really, the solution to my teacher funk is more art all the time. Not sure what the solution to that is. More efficiency? Maybe it’s just more years finessing the lessons…when I go back to 7th grade next year, it’ll be way easier? I just don’t know. I do know that the unit after this one is a shit show and somehow my co-teacher and I need to figure that shit out ASAP and not wait until February. My weekends are a clusterfuck from now until March. Not always a BAD clusterfuck? But certainly a lot of moving around. Ah well. I need a secretary. I’ve always said that. And a cleaner. Can’t afford that. Someone to do all the things mentally. Get it done, make the calls, set up the schedules, do the things. I also know that I do better with a routine. I haven’t had one for three weeks and it’s been good because I now am going back to a pretty rigid routine, but when I retire, I need a basic plan for how to do the days or I’ll just forget to do things like take meds.

So what have I been doing? Not finishing things. Although! We dropped the bee-filled owl box. In the end, boychild unscrewed things, Ex covered his body with things (including hat and scarf) and lowered it, let it drop at the end. No swarm came out. Bees were definitely THERE, but not in the cartoon swarm you see in the…well…cartoons. I’ll check it again today and then call a bee guy (I’m on number 7…they’re all on vacation). I might need to buy a new owl box, or maybe be able to use this one. Hard to know.

I took a class on Saturday about quilling with fabric, but didn’t get very far on it. All the fabric for my quilling…well, most of it…is painted. It took forever to dry though…

We had sun, but not enough of it.

I still need to dye the background fabric and something else (I don’t remember what that was; hopefully I wrote it down), then make these into quilling strips, and try to decide how to put the whole thing together…there’s my central Earth Mother in progress.

Honestly, it might be hard to get this done. I need another 6 or so hours. We’ll see.

I finally was able to clean up enough in my office to iron Saturday night…lots of rainbow organs.

Oh, and that cat. Which will show up much better on the dark background fabric. Then last night, I ventured up into the crazy piecing that is the upper torso.

The quilt is heavy at this point, so the upper ironing sheet keeps slipping out of place, which is pretty frustrating. For the heart in the center, I’m just doing it on the side somewhere and then plopping it on top. It’s crazy complicated with flowers all over the place. I’m looking forward to getting this bit done; I think I’ll do the head and all its stuff separately and then attach it when it’s done. Maybe. We’ll see. For continuity’s sake, it’s usually better to iron them all together, but I think the head might work without that. Thoughts for tonight maybe.

OK. Well I have 32 days until I go visit the girlchild, 40 days to QuiltCon, and 81 days until Spring Break. Not that we have a plan for that. There’s a lot of chaos in my head and around here. Things are changing and it makes stress pop up. Not fun. But I have a good book to read…well, wait…I don’t actually know if it’s good yet. It’s supposed to be, and 8 people are already waiting for me to finish it (I have 17 days, y’all. Back the fuck off.). I have a big project in progress. I have like 13 quilts out in shows, and this unit I’m teaching is pretty good. So all that works for me. I can’t get past the feeling there was something major I was supposed to do over Winter Break for school; I’m sure someone will remind me of that this morning. I have a solid breakfast plan for the next two weeks (that’s nice in itself). And today, I can dress how I like. Mostly. So all those things are in my favor. Wish all us teachers luck…especially up in LA, because my teacher friends up there are dealing with all sorts of loss, stress, and trauma. Not fun. May the rain come and then may the insurers not be dickheads. That’s kind of always a mantra.

That’s My Plan

Apparently it’s Saturday. You know how you blow off all that work anxiety that appears the week before we go back to school? Take a bunch of art/craft classes so you don’t have time to think about the fact that you’re going back. It’s very relaxing. I should do this every year. Somehow. Because finding classes to do right before break ends is always an issue. This has been nice though. It’s the last year of Craft Napa, and I took two crafty classes with Libby Williamson and one improv quilting class with Irene Roderick.

I haven’t gotten any ironing done on the other quilt due to all this stuff, but it’s OK. I’m enjoying all of it. The first class was a collage-type lesson that went through painting with ink on CraftTex and then stitching around those, cutting them out, and making an image on a paper-collaged canvas. I started out by making flowers and leaves like everyone else, but then went into Nida territory. The teacher was Libby Williamson, crafter extraordinaire of many materials and techniques. I think she sees random materials and then tries to figure out how to make something out of them, which is a great talent.

You can see flames and maybe a face over there on the top left.

I then collaged the background. Now you will see where I diverted from the class subjects…because I ended up painting over a lot of the background. I wanted the papers to show at first, but there wasn’t enough contrast between the face and the background. Since I had started with the person on fire (sorry LA…hoping the fires are getting more and more under control as the weekend continues on), I figured I could make the background go along with that. I stained the bottom with red ink, fairly diluted. I started with the clouds very light, so the paper came through, but it didn’t look good, so I went for a much more opaque and graphic look for the clouds.

I do want to write all over the red still…haven’t done that yet. I had leftover flowers that didn’t work with this image, so I made a second smaller one…

Which was a bit more like what the rest of the class did. And it’s nice. I like it.

Yesterday, I took improv quilting with Irene Roderick. I’ve taken improv classes before, but got stuck on making things (triangles, strings, stripes) and not the creative part of it. This class focused more on the creative part…and that finally made sense to me. I’ve never gotten past a pile of parts before, and they didn’t excite me. I think focusing just on black and white (and NOT color) and just doing one thing at a time and fitting it into what already existed…that worked for me. I have a solid start to a quilt top here…

A top I actually want to finish. So that was cool. It’s totally NOT how I usually work, which I appreciate. Stretch the brain! Try new things! I’m in another class today (waiting for paint to dry, literally), so those photos will have to wait.

I also finished the first block of Rooted, which was Sue Spargo’s block-of-the-month lite version for two years ago? 2023 I think? I’ve had them stitched down for a while; getting to the embroidery has taken a while. This is after Thursday’s stitching meeting…

And last night, I finished while at my parents’ house for dinner with my bro and my nephew.

One done! Eight to go! Yeah, nothing is fast. These are pretty easy though.

So the pro of all these classes this week is that I can barely consider school. So the anxiety is gone, plus I have the added benefit of the meditative qualities of making for three days straight. Peace and love, peace and love. I’m sure I’ll panic soon. I didn’t finish grading…almost did! They’re due in like 10 days. It’ll be fine. I need to pack up four more quilts after class today to deliver to a friend who will deliver up north (not near the fires). And then once all this is done, I can start ironing and quilting my friend’s quilt again. It’s been chaotic in this room this week. We’ll see how that goes. I’m not ready to go back, but I never am. Maybe it’s enough to just accept that, go into it with calm and determination to make art. Still. Anyway, that’s my plan.

Incognito Year…

I’m running on crazy time now, y’all. I was going to write on Monday, but oops, stomach flu or food poisoning…and then this morning, the rescheduled appointment from early Monday morning, and now it’s almost 10 PM. But hell, it’s still Wednesday. When I get off schedule, I get really off apparently. So yeah, how are things going? Ha! Can’t get the bees out of the owl box…all the bee peeps are on Winter Break. Can’t get the house or yard done because I spent Monday completely out of it with the remains of the whatever-the-hell-it-was, Tuesday much of the same. Today I’ve been better (food helped), but felt like I had to do EVERYTHING and that everything took FOREVER to get done. Not really of course, but days seem to go much faster over break than they do in real life. Which starts Monday. With a vengeance. A possibility of an 11-hour day. Fun times, y’all…fun times.

So Friday night, I ironed…I think that was the first leg. Nah. I straight up have no idea what I ironed, but my app says I did? No photos either. I also did a little clay, underglazing mostly. And put this this together with all the requisite borders.

No, it’s not done. There’s 16 big embellished flowers for the borders. Bowie thinks he might climb it. This is Sue Spargo’s Homegrown, a block of the month I started in March 2020. No joke. Last night, I pinned some things down to it, also with Bowie interest.

Back to the other quilt. Who the fuck knows what I did on it Friday night. On Saturday, I did nothing on it, because the Man’s band played the House of Blues and I was there from 7-11 PM.

Sunday night, I ironed the lower half of the other leg…

Monday night, I was half dead, and last night, I did the other half of the leg…

It remains to be seen whether I’ll get any of it done tonight. I’m knackered. Not sleeping well, worried about the bees and the world and fires and going back to school. Not halfway yet. And I start three days of Zoomie art classes tomorrow, so that’ll fuck with my ability to get art done. Plus my bro is in town again. So family stuff. It’s all good. It’ll get done eventually.

I did finish the binding and sleeves on the bird wool quilt today. I’ll have to take a better photo sometime and post it. That’s the 12-year finish.

Clay stuff…been glazing some small things, then working on the second level of the crazy sculpture I’m making…

I made boobs today. Although they need some forming. I needed them to solidify slightly before I started banging on them.

Also, just like in real life, they are top-heavy. So it does fine here with 12-15 pounds of clay holding it up, but on its own, that piece just falls over. Right now, it has a roll of paper towels holding it up. Hoping to get back to this on Friday or Saturday. Need to pack up four quilts first, plus take classes each day.

Here’s the day I was sick. I got up, thinking I could make it to the doc appointment, even took a shower. Crazy. Not going anywhere. Slept until noon, when I tried to drink Gatorade…

Not sure it went uphill from there. I think I managed 3 bites of rice at dinner. Anyway. I’m mostly recovered now, but my stomach still wants me to remember. So small bites and not very much of anything. But better.

These two enjoyed three weeks together, but now she is gone again and he is bereft.

Oh wait, no he’s not. He has the boychild.

This old lady has had a hard week. No one medicated her when I was sick, and her body doesn’t do well without her meds unfortunately.

She seems better today.

She does like a sunny chair. Might be a fight for it tomorrow.

Woke up after Monday with questions, lots of questions.

I don’t think that’s changing all year. In fact, I’d like to set up an incognito window for me for the entire year. Maybe I can just watch from the sidelines and pretend I don’t have a horse in the game? I realize that’s totally and completely not possible. I have thousands of horses in the game, dammit.

The current book I’m reading briefly mentions the town I lived in for a year…

Found that amusing. It was in the boonies, that’s for sure.

OK. So. I’m tired. I have lots going on tomorrow…and the next day and the next day. I do want to iron, though. Tough call. Also classes will be in here, in my studio, so stuff has to be cleared up enough for that to happen. Hmmm. There’s also some chance class will be rescheduled. Our teacher is not in a fire zone, but the wind has caused internet and electrical outages. The fires in Los Angeles, by the way…my goodness holy crapitude. I remember seeing fires up in the hills above where we lived when I grew up south of Pasadena. I know Eaton Canyon, hiked it and other areas up there. It’s hard to watch all of it burn. Damn wind. Climate change. WTF is Trump saying about letting the clean water run? Man is on crack. Maybe he needs the incognito window more than I do.

The Year Changed…

I somehow have lost a week. The year has changed. I have not posted my memories of 2024 nor my goals and hopes for 2025. I missed the boat completely. What happens to me if I do not consider everything that 2024 brought and 2025 might bring? I dunno, but I don’t seem to have the brainpower for it. Although I redid my big long huge CV/resume/whatever the hell it is yesterday and I know that I was in 12 exhibits last year and I made 6 quilts and 10 bug things that aren’t really quilts. I read that an art quilter I follow made over 60 quilts and I can’t fathom that, but probably she’s not working full time as a middle-school teacher. So that’s another reason I have a hard time with the review/gratitude part of the year ending. It makes me feel inadequate until I have some interior brain argument about what people are capable of and that’s why I picked a fucking retirement date last summer. Oh yeah. I remember now. So in 2025, I hope to make another 6 or so quilts and get into another 12 or so shows and keep messing around with clay and trying to keep my day job from inserting itself into my recharge time more than it already does. No change. I actually usually do resolutions in August, right when I’m about to go back to school. It makes more sense as a teacher to think about those things then rather than in the middle of a school year. I am glad I have next week off, because I have to get 6 quilts out of here in the next week or so for delivery to shows. So some of that will happen today.

I’m quite happily ironing the first big quilt of 2025 together now…

I forgot how fun and relaxing it is to iron stuff together. I had been putting it off because it seemed hard, but it isn’t. Time-consuming? Yes. Fussy as shit sometimes? Yes. Absolutely relaxing? Oh yes.

I’ve got the dirt done, with its furry beasts, body bags, bullets, and skull.

And I’ve done one leg. That’s it. Well, it has a snake on it. So there’s a lot to come. I’m well into the 200s…I’ll be here for a while.

Then I finally quilted this beast, which I started in January 2013.

No joke. Those bird blocks went to almost every soccer game in the girlchild’s last two years of high school. Two years ago I started quilting it, and then it sat. So here it is…

Just need to do the handstitching of the binding and sleeves, and it’s done. Twelve years. Impressive. Can’t say I don’t finish shit. I do eventually. This is Sue Spargo’s Bird Dance, by the way. I called it Bird Crazy for years.

I also needed to get to the next step on this one…trimming all the houses…

To the same size. A few are a bit short, as always. Wool stretches. But the center piece is definitely too small, so I’m not sure how I’m going to handle that. I have ideas.

That’s the layout. This is Sue Spargo’s Homegrown, which might have been started in…hell, IDK…wait! OMG. Started March 16, 2020. The day they sent us home for two weeks because of COVID. Little did we know. Oh my. I’m laughing. So this one is just two months’ short of being 5 years old. I did Folk Tales in between the bird one and this one. And there’s another bird one I did too, Chirp…both Folk Tales and Chirp are ready to be sandwiched and quilted, but this one needs to be put together so I can do borders, so it’s a good year out from being finished, if I’m lucky. Anyway, I have a Zoom tonight and I will sew things together and try to figure out how to solve the problem of the center being too small. It’ll be fine.

Right now, I’m going to pause in the writing (you won’t even notice) because I need to pick up a quilt and then head to ceramics and pick up meds because my online pharmacy ran out of insulin again (they did last year too). But I’ll be back and you won’t even notice I was gone for three hours. Like I said, here I am. Sigh. But in a fairly rancid mood…thanks to health insurance and pharmacies and ugh. It’s fine. I just lost an hour to whatever stupid shit happened yesterday that I didn’t do. I’ll have meds on Monday. The only medication I really freak out about is insulin. And that’s the one with the biggest issues. Ah well. Done now. I ate lunch and read for a bit, and that helped.

I found my SIL’s heart…she had asked for it back in November and then I ‘lost’ it (read, hung it up and put this drawing over it and completely forgot it was behind there…

In fact, I didn’t even see it when I first pulled the drawing down so I could iron on it. I saw it last night, because the Man came in and was talking to me, so I was actually facing that direction. Sad but true. So I need to finish that and mail it to her.

New Year’s Eve was a little low key. Nice fire in the fireplace. Tried to draw and watch a movie. The movie was horrible. The drawing wasn’t entertaining enough…

So eventually I went in and put the binding on that bird quilt instead. I did make it to midnight, no worries. Unless I’m sick or exhausted, I stay up that late on the regular…unless I’m working. Then I have to be up between 6 and 6:30 AM, so I need to start heading for bed at 10:30…although I haven’t been good about that lately. Huh.

I think he’s smiling.

But he’d had a 4-mile walk and a bath because he pooped on himself and then vomited on himself. I wasn’t there. He was certainly tired out.

I’m actually finally kicking this thing.

KNOCK ON WOOD. My sinuses aren’t completely clear, but mostly. I’m not coughing stuff up any more. Time to go back to school and get sick again, right? Sigh.

OK. Well I have a bunch of stuff I need to get done, mostly in the quilt realm. I added to my CV last night, but still need to finish and submit the application by Monday. Lots to do, lots to do. Looking forward to three art classes next week though. Fun times. I appreciate the time off, but it’s too bad the job is so hard that the time off feels so absolutely necessary. I don’t have a solution to that.

Dribble Away

The last Monday of 2024. Weird that. Why do Mondays have such strange power over us? I suspect if I had a different job, Mondays would be less ugh. I am a little over 1/3 of the way through my Winter Break. I still have a few things left to grade…a small pile of redoes that I can’t quite bear to look at…yet. I’ll get there. I’m in that weird molasses part of the year (break) where I don’t seem to get anything done. Although the boychild and I cut down part of a tree that was growing haphazardly. That was a thing. And I’m sure I checked some things off the to-do list, but as I do them, more take their place. It’s annoying. So then I check out and pull out a book and don’t get anything done in a day that seems really short anyway. I think every Winter Break is like this. I have a pile of labels to make and print, an art application to fill out, which means revising my resume with everything from this year…which sounds just like a lot of work. Good work. Work that needs to happen. But work nonetheless. I need to go trim some shit. I should just go do that. I’m tired, though. Trying a new medication to see if the visual disturbance goes away. It’s supposed to make me tired. I can concur. I am tired.

Or that’s just where I am right now. I also need to prep 5 quilts for shipping/delivery. Maybe later. Sounds like work.

I did restart quilting this, from two years ago.

It doesn’t take long. It’s lame that I haven’t finished it yet.

It’s Sue Spargo’s block of the month Bird Dance, which I started a million years ago. It took me through a lot of soccer games. I have about 1 1/2 columns left to quilt and then the border and then I can put a binding on it and it’s done. Then I can toss the other big quilt up there and quilt it too. While ironing another quilt together. It’s all doable. I just need to do it. Sounds simple. And complicated.

Thinking too hard at the end of the year.

Friday night, I was still trimming, but there wasn’t much left…

Saturday night, I finished…

A total of 18 hours and 49 minute of trimming…after 24 hours of ironing. I never documented the fabric range for this…but it was 189 fabrics…

I cleaned them all up yesterday, so I could reclaim enough boxes to sort the pieces…

No, he wasn’t helping.

It took 2 hours to do that. But I’m ready to start ironing together today. I’m ready to do a lot of things today; if only I had the energy.

The girlchild and I went to ceramics on Saturday…

She’s very intent on a few things. I’m making some random little things…

And this has been sitting around forever, waiting to be carved.

We’ll be back today. I did work on the big piece, in that I found a place on the drying shelves for the big one and the top of it is back on my shelf, waiting for me to figure out how to make the arms.

Finally made it out for a hike on Saturday afternoon.

Another energy thing.

Nice to get outside and exercise though. Even though my knees are complaining like crazy today.

It’s cold, y’all, but apparently not quite cold enough to cuddle.

Weirdos.

OK, I have a chonky to-do list still and it makes me feel better to check things off of it. Sort of obsessive in that way. Need to sort out some plant material…probably easier to do that before a shower, so do that first. Then shower and lunch and somehow the entire day will disappear and I’ll be at ceramics again. Seems fair. Nice to have days that can dribble away for once and not cause too much havoc.

What Day Is This…

Yo. What day is it? Yeah. We’re solidly in Winter Break then. My goal of finishing grades on Christmas Eve? Fucked. Well, I didn’t grade much on Christmas Eve because I realized people were coming over on Christmas and I hadn’t cleaned anything. In months. Welcome to teacher life. And the tree was still outside. I never got lights up outside. I found them. They are on the floor in the entryway. I put one whole ornament on the tree.

That tree needs to be planted after I’m done enjoying the cats playing with it in the house. It’s outgrown its pot. It was a volunteer I found in the yard years ago and I just kept upsizing its pot until it was big enough to be the Christmas tree. Not sure what I’ll do next year. I have 5 volunteer trees in pots but they won’t be big enough by next year to do anything. I’ll worry about that next year.

So I graded a tiny bit on Christmas Eve and a tiny bit on Christmas night, and then yesterday was going to be the finish day! Then I spent 3 hours with the neuro ophthalmologist so she could tell me again that they don’t know if the visual disturbance is in my brain or my retinas (because it would be in both). Did all the tests. Everything looks happily normal. Unlike me in general. So they’re going to try another migraine med to see if that solves it. It’s only really irritating at night, especially when driving. And sometimes I freak out because I don’t know what’s causing it. Aliens probably. Even the doc nodded her head at that possibility. So it’s mostly benign and not changing. She’ll see me in a year. Woo hoo. She’s nice and I like her, so it’s all good. She’s also thorough as hell; hence the 3 hours. I did finish an entire book in between all the tests and waiting. I guess that’s a good thing. The point being, my grades still aren’t done. I finished the packets (yay) last night. I have three more classes of an academic question, a pile of homework papers that need grading, and the late work and redoes. It’s probably 4 hours. Will I finish today? Maybe. I have other things I need to do, including replacing a crown. Ugh. No fun there.

I’m still making time to cut stuff out at night…which is good, because it feels like it’s taking forever. Because it is. This is Christmas Eve after the Man’s family party…

Then Wednesday night after my family’s Christmas dinner, which the boychild cooked.

My sole Xmas photo of my mom and the ex’s dog…

Then last night’s cutting…

I’m getting there. I still don’t see the bottom of the box of pieces. So maybe two more nights? Maybe three? Not sure. Same pile with Devil cat guarding.

There was some cat action last night as I was getting ready for bed. Also side view shows there’s quite a bit more in the to-be-cut box. Sigh. I need some consolidated time and I’m not getting it.

I did spend time on Christmas day finding the broken sprinkler…

I was hoping it was the riser, because that’s an easy fix. It wasn’t. It’s down in the ground. I need to trim more crap around it so I can get in there and dig further down to try to figure out how to fix it. Meanwhile, the owl box has bees, so I have to deal with that issue too…we’re supposed to be dropping the box and cleaning it out. Bees make that more complicated.

Bowie is still the most energetic living thing in the house…

Not like that’s hard. We’re all kinda tired. I want to hike, but I apparently mentally need to get past grading to get there. It doesn’t help that it’s cold and cloudy. Although yesterday was sunny and I didn’t feel it then either. This is probably why…

Maybe if I had enough caffeine? Also protein and less sugar would probably help…the post-holiday food has been a little lacking in healthy habit.

I’ve been doing some retirement stuff…mostly downloading crap and then sending it to my brother so he can tell me how fucked I am.

Although getting rid of the Windfall Elimination thingamabobby will help. I’ll actually get the social security I earned before becoming a teacher. What a concept.

I set a goal for reading last year of 95 books and I’ve read 108…with 4 days left, I should get at least 1 more done.

I’ve had some years where I hardly read at all…school just fucked me over completely (2020, I’m talking to you). But the last two years, I just didn’t let it stop me. I read in so many more places now. It makes me happy. So yeah, what goal do I set for this year?

From the most recent book, The Twisted Ones, which I really enjoyed (you gotta like horror though)…

The main character is a copyeditor, although it’s not a main part of the story…

So that part amused me. But also there’s a dog…and one of my rules is that the dog needs to survive dammit…and this one does.

Simba thinks the same thing. Throw in the pool guy.

Anyway. I need to go do some grading now. I really really really want to be done, so I don’t have to even THINK about school. So I’ll be working on that today, then reading another book while they work on my tooth (there’s so much down time when they’re waiting). And cutting more stuff out tonight. It looks the same every night…pro: it’s totally relaxing to just sit and cut while bingewatching TV. I do need to work on two quilts though…probably before I start ironing things together. But not until grading is done. I have one Spargo quilt that I started quilting two Christmases ago and I just need to finish it. And then a friend’s quilt, which was supposed to get done over Thanksgiving and then I was sick the whole time. So those will get peppered in. Plus hikes, dammit. I need more exercise. I need the outdoors. Plus that damn sprinkler and the owl/bee box and a whole host of other household and yard things that need to happen. Plus email this person about one thing and that person about another thing. Or grab the book and go hermit on the couch…tempting. January self needs me to get some shit done now though. So I’m respecting that. And I want to be drawing some too, and that hasn’t happened at all.

Ready or Not…

OK, I’m a day off. I got up yesterday and just started going and then didn’t stop. This morning, there’s gonna be a lot of the same, but I decided to start here. Because I knew tomorrow would be crazy too. What have I been doing on the first three days of Winter Break? Grading and cleaning, basically. I want the grading done early so I can enjoy the rest of my time off. I’m doing pretty well, although my goal of being done by noon today is probably not quite reality. I have one short academic assignment left that will take a couple of hours, one homework assignment that will take an hour or so, 2 classes of unit packets, an hour plus each for those, and a pile of redoes and late work handed in. That’s more time consuming, but maybe an hour? So that’s about 6 hours at the least. And it’s almost 9, I have to drive the girlchild to her dad’s, eat, finish this, get ready for pilates, leave the house at 1:40, then come back and shower for tonight’s party, AND wrap everything, prep the house for Xmas breakfast here tomorrow…OK, it’s just not happening. But I’m close. I think I can have it done on the 26th. So that’ll do. Because some of my to-do list really does have to be done by 5:15 tonight and some has to be done by 9:30 tomorrow morning. So there’s that.

I did take time yesterday to go to the ceramics studio with the girlchild and then forgot to take pictures. That was my down time. Plus I read a little bit here and there, because I need a break. I walk out to the mailbox because I need a break. I’ve tried the grading thing a bunch of different ways: do it all at the beginning, do it all at the end (that one is HARD), and do a little bit every day (you never escape it). This is the best way. Of course, the real best way is to have nothing to grade over break, but realistically, that doesn’t happen. And our progress report grades are due the week we get back, essentially, so unless I want to lose that weekend to grading, I’m going to do it all now. This damn job…sometimes…I really wish I had a job where I could shut the computer at the end of the day and walk away from it, rather than wake up to a teacher:student conversation in my head that I need to have with my students on January 14. Sigh. But there are pros to this job…like this…

They are not wrong. And they amuse me.

So. Art stuff. I mentioned clay. I’ll try to photograph later this week when we go back. Nothing monumental though. Fabric, I’m just cutting things out forever…Friday night…

Lots of letters. All of the letters.

Saturday night…

Tree parts mostly.

Sunday night…a big background piece and some other stuff…lots of weird eyeball things.

Monday night…more eyeball things, barbed wire, head on fire…

I’m in the 700s, working backwards from the 1600s. So more than halfway. Nine hours in. Crazy really. I’ve been staying up to my natural bedtime, which is around midnight. During school, I try to start going to bed at 10:30. I don’t like it, but I need the sleep, so there we are. I’ll cut out tonight, if I have time (see to-do list for reality check), but definitely the next few nights. Hopefully I’ll be sorting by Friday/Saturday and then ironing. Like I said, this one isn’t getting done in 2024. It’s fine. I’m not in a rush. Not on a deadline. Don’t have a plan for this one. The next one has a deadline, but it’s a ways out and requires some engineering I’m still considering in my head.

I think they finally approved our teacher job description (in the district where I’ve worked for 16+ years)…they took out the ‘traditional values’ bullshit, but added this physical abilities section that cracks me up…

Have they met my knees? Are they going to use this to remove some teachers? Because I know teachers with vision problems who adapt, those with hearing problems who adapt. Not to mention the rotator-cuff surgeries. Like who do they think will take our positions if we leave? There’s not a whole host of young teachers lining up, that’s for sure. Have I run, kneeled, squatted, twisted at school? Yup. And sometimes it hurts. Because I’m old. But not old enough to retire, you assholes. I could argue some of my knee/hip/neck issues are work-related too…so maybe consider the implications of going after people for that. Anyway. Fun times. They still have a ton of money lying around and won’t give us enough of a raise to cover the health insurance bump that happens every year. Please. Pay us less. We deserve it. As we run, twist, kneel through our jobs.

Sigh.

Same with teachers. Our lives matter less than that of a CEO. Don’t make money? Don’t matter.

In the same realm, this is very true.

Hell cat is also acceptable. And some book I just put on my to-read list has a sentient spider plant. I’d take that too. Or a bat.

I feel like I’ve posted this one before.

This is my goal at some point for break. And life.

I have totally done this…

I talked to the paperclips in the electromagnet lab. My students may think I’m nuts, but they don’t usually tell me that. Dammit, now I’m mentally back to the conversation I need to have with them in January. Like if you won’t read feedback and adjust to it, then you’re right, your science grade isn’t going to change. Sigh.

Girlchild and Simba love.

OK. Gotta do the things. Need food first. Need to get out of the way of Kitten and the sun (I’m in her spot right now). Then probably clean a floor and start wrapping. Then grade, exercise, shower, grade some more, and go to a party. Not really in a party mood, but the holidays come whether you’re ready for them or not, right? OK. Here we go.

Until I Can Relax…

My photo editing app is updating right now. Not sure when it thinks it will be done. Much like all of my students will be today…unsure of doneness. Yikes. It’s fine. I think I really felt like yesterday could have been Friday and we all would have been fine with it. At least there’s no assembly today…I don’t have the energy for that level of teacher. Just the finish-it-all and hand-it-in level of teacher. Although by 6th period, I won’t be sane any more. It’s fine.

I started cutting out the pieces for the new quilt. I’m using the new Wonder Under and an awful lot of pieces are releasing the paper as I’m cutting them, which is problematic. So far, it’s mostly the tiny or skinny pieces, but it’s enough to be abnormal (compared to the old stuff). I haven’t had a ton of time at night to do things, due to holiday crap and stupid school board meetings, so the first night, I think this is 30 minutes worth of trimming…

Not much. Last night, I got more time in, over an hour. I had worked on school stuff from about 6-8:30 pm, so it was time to quit. Couldn’t deal with cleaning house or thinking about decorating (I have no Xmas stuff up this year).

Those letters are gonna take a while. I guess I know what I’ll be doing for the next week on this quilt. I wish I could cut for hours a day, but I want to get all my grades done before Christmas. I don’t know if I can pull that off, but I’m going to try. I’ll have one homework assignment, one large academic assignment that half the kids haven’t done, another short one, two things to record only, because some app already scored them, warmups, and a relatively short packet. It’s doable. Crazy, but doable.

Yesterday, we made electromagnets. Fun times.

It’s kind of cool actually…although the logistics of supplies is a pain. What to do with all the half-used-up batteries? Who knows.

We half-assed decorated a door. That’s my Max and a student’s ornament.

This was me on Wednesday night…

I had to cook, but I wasn’t ready. So cats helped.

I suck at both.

And this, I am very good at this…

This guy speaks to my soul sometimes.

And this…

I still think they gave way too many to the gas planets. OK, there’s a scientific reason for that. Jupiter is being nice.

OK. Today. They answer an academic question about electromagnets (easy!). They put their packets in order and hand them in. They finish all the other shit they haven’t finished. I clean my room because fucking Winter Academy will be in there in January. Assholes. Teachers steal shit. It’s annoying. I finish grading the last of last week’s homework assignments. I set up as much of January’s stuff as I can. We have the first 7 days done…just need to admit the next two days are what they are. It’s fine. REALLY. Come home, collapse, then stand up and do shit. Or sit and do shit. Because there’s a lot of shit to do before I can relax.