When You Come Undone*

I know what I wanted to get to last night artwise and it didn’t happen. I was just too tired. My eyes have really been bugging me…getting all watery and tired. I’m blaming the weather, since we’re back to crazy warm again. Or just overuse. Or something. But I didn’t think I could pick fabrics last night when I couldn’t see straight. Perhaps staring at a computer for hours is part of it.

I came home from work…left there late because we are out in the morning on Monday for some training that I am not trying to think of as a waste of time at the moment. Because they say things like, “We’re giving you time to PLAAANNN…” but then it’s plan for what they think we should be doing and not what we’re really doing. Because this is about language standards in science…because we don’t make our kids write their asses off? And I don’t know what I’m doing? You’re right…a Comp. Lit. degree and years of editing does not mean I can write. Or the 500+ words I write almost every day…whatever. I hate saying whatever all the time, but professional development is meant to push up and support those who need it on some general topic…and if you’ve already got that, then you’re screwed. There’s stuff I need help with and I’ll never get it out of PD. Rant over. Well. For now.

And then the errands for my parental units…lots of work in that. Fought the traffic and finally got home, and my water was off. But the guy who did it was running up the road yelling “Miss! Miss!”. Reminded me of school. Got the water back on (they have to move the pipes due to the new behemoth…house that is being built at the bottom of the road. Dealt with dogs…only two last night. Then I worked. School. For about 5 hours. Straight. Ugh. There’s more. I gotta do more. Maybe not today. We’ll see.

So at 11:22 PM, I was thinking, well…what CAN I do…because standing up and going to the studio and cleaning up enough to start picking fabrics is so totally NOT happening at 11:22 PM on a Friday night after teaching all week.

And that is why I found the big sketchbook in my hand (finally…oh my, what a relief) and I just let the pen drift across the page, and this idea of hands pulling the upper layer apart to reveal something behind, that happened.

img_9157-small

It’s weird. And it’s not done. But it felt nice while I was doing it. And that’s the point. That’s what my head needed. And honestly it needs a shitload more of it, because if I’m leaving work on a Friday night and facing the weekend, it shouldn’t feel like I’m trying to shove down a panic attack, and that’s what it felt like. I have some big heavy things that need moving, and I can’t do it by myself…both literally and metaphysically. I need help with that. So there’s that side of it, where I feel like I’m on my own and can’t ask for or find help, and then there’s the part where my job is currently so demanding, both of time and mental energy, that I can’t find the space to make art. To relax.

Anyway. Right now I need to make a bunch of deviled eggs for a potluck/art talk thing tonight where I’ll be one of the talkers. I have my Powerpoint done but I have no fucking clue what I’m going to say. Which is fine. And I’m hanging out with a friend midday, but have stuff on both sides of that which need to get done. So off the chair, out of this room, go get shit done.

*Duran Duran, Come Undone

But I Won’t Hesitate No More…*

I have to admit this school year is kicking my butt. The constant planning is hard on my brain…this is planning with no existing curriculum…just a pile of standards. It takes a ton of time. And on top of that, there are the running weekly adjustments to make shit work. And then we try to plan low-maintenance days into the curriculum, days when we should be able to get some grading done or sit and check in with kids who really need it, or at least not be at 130%, and instead it turns into high-maintenance checks. Mostly they want me to check every one of their answers, and I’m trying to train them to check their own work. To have faith in their own ability. That’s a lot harder to teach. To teach a kid that not every answer has to be pre-approved by the teacher. Oh my. It’s exhausting. Seven-hundred hands in the air. Ugh. And maybe only one of them was legit.

I really need to sit next to a few of my kids and walk them through every research step, because they can’t even match up the words on the paper to the words on the screen. Like Find the Atomic Number…where is that? Where it says Atomic Number on the screen. Ironically, our English-learning department wants us to give them high-level text. I’m like…Um…you realize I could write this at a kindergarten level and it would be high-level for them? Sigh. I hate the system some days. Makes me want to be a barrista. Or a bagger at the grocery store. A job where I don’t have to take it home. Where I don’t feel like I’m failing on a daily basis.

Then an after-school meeting and the gym (I really needed the gym). I was so glad to get to read my book. I want to just sit down and keep reading it until I’m done, but that’s not an option at the moment. I honestly don’t have time to read unless I’m eating dinner (yes, I read while I eat) or at the gym. And then I graded. And then it was almost bedtime. I had to be up early this morning.

So I’m sitting here right now feeling UGHHGHG because I didn’t do anything yesterday (really) but work. I worked hard. But I only worked. It’s funny because then the next day there’s usually backlash and I don’t work at all (well, at least AFTER work hours…I don’t really have the option to blow off the day itself). So maybe it does balance. Except then I feel behind in grading or missing good feelings from making art, depending on what I didn’t get to that day. This job is incredibly awful for having a balanced life.

I guess if all I did when I came home was deal with the dogs, eat some dinner, and go to bed, everything would be fine. Silly me trying to be an artist in the face of that.

So I had to revise my door at school. There was a small contingent of whiny brats (sorry, I’m pissed that they didn’t have the balls to talk to me or my students…my students would have explained their thinking, which has nothing to do with the election and everything to do with bullying language) who went to the principal…these were adults, mind you, not kids. And now I have kids asking me why I changed it.

img_9111-small

I told them the principal made me. Actually, that makes me laugh. And it’s still Trump’s face, so whatever.

I have no damn art photos for today, because I didn’t even touch it. But I did have dogs everywhere. And cats.

img_9119-small

Ugh. I need a break. From shit. I NEED TO DRAW DAMMIT.

But right now, I need to go to school. And try to deal. Honestly, this adulting crap is getting old. Ha ha. Old. Because I’m old, right? Yeah. I know. Pandora is playing all this poppy perky-ass music and my brain wants like booming Led Zeppelin or slamming Linkin Park. Whatevs. This is what is known in my household as A Mood. It will wander off eventually if I stop feeding it shit.

*Jason Mraz, I’m Yours

Crazy Thoughts Have Quick Wings*

It’s funny that lab days at school are tiring, but days when I make them write are even more exhausting…I’m still walking the room, but now it’s to get them on task and focused and understanding the instructions they didn’t listen to in the first place. My patience wears thin. I’ve got that 10% who got the thing written while I was giving instructions. And the kids who wrote it yesterday, even though I told them not to, and then had to rewrite. I’m OK with them. And the 10%. But the 20% who didn’t do the prep work and now are saying they can’t write it? Oh man. Therein lies the challenge. And I was observed yesterday as well. I hope she enjoyed it. I definitely worked for it.

So the hardest part of my day sometimes is trying to find the energy and the brainpower to stand up and find my art materials and do the next step, especially if it’s something I really don’t feel like doing. I had spent some time grading and hanging out, so it was a late start. I was exhausted. Really. So I made a cup of tea and set up the light table. Because no way was I doing nothing last night. Writing this post every day helps me stay motivated, because I hate admitting I didn’t do shit yesterday. Although I can’t avoid that sometimes. But I also know this thing needs to get done. And it will only get done if I DO IT.

img_9099-small

It only has about 200 pieces…more than 200, because I used about 5 numbers more than once. I think. So this is not a complicated quilt…I made sure of that, although it’s construction will be different in some ways, so that adds to the complexity. I’ve been thinking that part out in my head and I’m not sure I have it solved yet, but I don’t need to do anything different until I start the ironing-together process…and I’m a ways away from that step.

The thing is, I got to about piece 100 and I was so incredibly tired. My brain was tired. My feet were tired. My legs were tired. I paused and took the dogs out to pee (which with my parents’ dog here for the next three weeks is quite an endeavor…at least two of them at any one time are scared of the dark, so I escort with flashlight all the way out into the very scary yard).

And then I came back and mentally steeled myself for it. Dammit. Because I should be able to finish it in one night. The reason I get so much done is that I must have incredible will power to get through the shit part.

Tracing Wonder Under can be very meditative, but it can also be boring as hell and even annoying. Last night it was mostly boring and I was so tired. But it’s done…in a little over an hour.

img_9101-small

All that mental drama for an hour and a bit of tracing. Now I can cut it out (probably in one night)…I do need this one done quickly. I’ve been putting it off because of the construction stuff. But I’ll just have to figure that out. The problem doesn’t go away because I don’t want to deal with it. Gee. I think I tell my students that all the time. Sheesh.

There was a lot of doggy drama last night, but eventually the old lady went off to sleep, sprawled on the floor somewhere, and these two started playing…

img_9096-small

Wait a minute. I have a puppysitter. That might be cool. If they weren’t all so annoying about food and walks. And cats. I have one cat I haven’t seen in a day. She often hides…and it’s funny…she doesn’t mind other dogs…isn’t even scared. But she does not like Katie, my parents’ dog. So I often don’t see her when Katie is here.

Every year, I find the money to buy a SAQA auction piece…it’s how I support the organization. Plus I get some cool art. I’ve admired Bonnie Jo Smith’s very simple, graphic work for a while, so I’m really enjoying this piece…plus the idea of swimming upstream is something that appeals to me. Or maybe it IS me.

img_9098-small

That link is being fussy, but it worked earlier. So hopefully it will work again, so you can read about the series. So now I need to get this up on the wall. And get my butt to work.

*Jem, Save Me

Just Tell Me What You’ve Got to Say to Me*

I’m in a mood. It’s a mood caused by adults. Well…and a really slow loaner computer at school, because my computer is dying and I have to use a shitty loaner. But mostly adults. School politics drives me bonkers. Mostly I just avoid it, if I can, but I do have my students’ backs…so if they want to challenge things a little, I support them in that. I’m disappointed that adults who work with children can’t also have an intelligent discussion with them. So I guess this is my opportunity to discuss free speech and censorship with my homeroom. Maybe I should thank the adults for allowing me to do that. Yeah. Thanks.

So I left work yesterday and tried to get out and hike…we eventually got there for a shortened version (got dark too early)…

img_9080-small

I love these hikes at the end of the daylight…I really do just dump all the shit in my head out on the path. And then I can focus on whatever I need to. Usually.

So I finished grades. Because they’re due today. Always a good thing. To get them done on time. Because that’s part of my job. Just like encouraging critical thinking is part of my job.

And then I put a binding on the owl…

img_9086-small

And then I settled down for the hand-sewing, a glass of wine, and an hour of training on integrated pest management.

img_9087-small

Yeah. You read that right. Some of the dumbassery teachers get to deal with. Blurry pictures of cockroaches. No explanation of how to get rid of prions. Blaming us for mice in the classroom. I don’t have any damn mice in my classroom, but thanks. Telling me all my materials had to be in plastic containers. Who buys those containers? Teachers do. With their own money. I had to take a quiz. I got 100%. I actually missed one on the court-mandated reporter quiz, because it was really badly written and I got confused by the words. I love badly written teacher materials. Like typos in professional development powerpoints. Those are my favorite.

Adults. Seriously. Need to get out of my way today.

This is the crooked, highly shadowed photo, because I need to take another one later in better light. But this one is good for seeing the quilting.

img_9088-small

That was kinda fun to do. Anyway. It needs to be ironed and dehaired and then Julie can have it. Well. She’ll be paying me for it, which I highly appreciate. This piece was commissioned by a friend, and she very patiently waited for it while I got my act together. It’s actually the same owl that’s in here…

Art Quilts and Fiber Arts

On her right hip (on the left because you’re facing her).

And apparently I have to say this too. Trying to copy my work is against the law. If you want an owl quilt, you have some options. You can look at about 100 pictures or more of owls and then draw your own and make your own quilt (what I did). Or you can buy an owl quilt that either I or some other hardworking, underpaid artist made (what Julie did). One of us who works while you’re asleep because we’re that driven. Now if I made patterns of this (which I’m not going to do), then you could buy a pattern and make your own and then not sell it, just use it for personal use, because selling anything made from a pattern is usually also against the law, depending on what the pattern says. And I say this because artists’ rights are another thing that is often ignored. You don’t have a right to my image because I put it out there on the internet. You have a right to exercise your own creativity and make your own stuff, or to financially reward the other artists who are doing that. Choose wisely.

Oh yeah. It’s gonna be one of those days. Wish me luck. Patience. I need some of that too.

*White Town, Your Woman

Take a Sad Song and Make It Better*

It’s been an interesting week. Hot weather, too hot…while most of you are doing Fall weather. Local news turned national…not pretty. I don’t really want to talk about that much…it’s hard to say what should have happened, but probably someone shouldn’t have died. And all that has affected school. I’ll let all the post-shooting drama play out in the press, but I would like to say that I’m continually dismayed by the inability of many people to empathize with others. I think that might be our core human problem at the moment. I really do feel helpless in the aftermath of all the anger I see out there, the shootings, the deaths, the reactions I see. It would be easy to blame it on the presidential election, but it’s been around longer than that. I hear so many of my own friends and acquaintances who want all this crazy to stop, but it seems just saying that does not make it so. Of course. Why would it? I can go on and on here and either you’ll just ignore me because you don’t agree, or you’ll nod your head because you do. No change. What would it take for change to happen? No racism. No sexism. No hating others just because they have some difference? Because they came from somewhere else? Because they worship differently? By the way, if your worship also proposes hate of another group for their worship, then it is another hate group in my mind.

So all that has been in my head. Plus I have an image growing from the Brock Turner thing…yeah, I know it’s late, but my brain often mulls stuff over and over, and in the end, it won’t be about him…it’ll be about having a college-aged daughter out there in the world, about having been a college-aged woman traveling around, about the fear every woman carries in the back of her head when it’s dark and she’s walking alone down the street to her car. I wanted to draw last night, but the dog barking at night is getting to me. Coyotes. He’s gonna kill them all. But not let me sleep.

So I didn’t quilt. I don’t have the right color of thread. I’ll go get some today, if I can do it and avoid a protest. Serious thought there. I don’t want to be at the protest. I’ve never…ok, not never…but it’s been a long time since I thought gathering in a huge group to yell about things was my thing. I still think it should happen, because I need people to see it happening, but I don’t handle crowds well. I guess my path is through my art…although again, what to say? How to portray what’s in my head? I don’t quite know.

I did some stuff yesterday though. I helped my students finish their anti-bullying door. I had been gone for two days and was reading through what the kids had thought about how to decorate the door (we do this every year…and it’s one of the things I hate dealing with…). And Trump’s name kept popping up. Huh. Well. OK. So I asked them about it and they burst into animated speech about how what he says is bullying, statements about women and immigrants and Mexicans and Muslims and blacks…and I’m looking at a classroom full of girls and immigrants and Mexicans and Muslims (I do have black students…just not in my homeroom). So I let them do it. They had to find quotes that qualify as bullying, so we talked about what that means…and then they wrote it out and crossed it off in red. We didn’t want people to think those things were OK. So then I have to admit, I hadn’t read the instructions (it was a bad week), and it was something to do with random acts of kindness. OK. We can do this. Every kid got a post-it note and wrote INSTEAD at the top, and then they had to research random acts of kindness and write one down. So we taped those to the door to counteract the negativity.

img_9027-small

They came up with the catch phrase. And the thing is, they’re so proud of it. They keep showing it to other people. Lots of kids are talking about it and standing around outside my door and reading it aloud to each other. I want to tell them that we won’t win the doughnut party because it’s political, but they’re so sure they’ll win. So I’ll probably go buy them doughnuts. Because really? They did all the critical thinking and were really amazing during the process and they deserve some major kudos for that. Yeah. I drew Trump for them. But that’s all. There wasn’t a single kid who wasn’t involved in this door.

I had a teacher say I should have done Clinton as well as a counterpoint. But honestly, I would have had a hard time finding a bunch of bullying statements that she had said. I guess my own politics are showing there. But whatever. I’ll stand up for my kids’ process and product.

So what else did I do last night? I did indoor skydiving for the first time. It was a teacher freebie (can’t afford that shit!). And it was awesome. They did the event to try to get us to sign up for field trips, but there’s no way our kids could afford them, even at half price. That said, Wow. Just wow. I really loved my 60 seconds. I smiled, a big goofy grin, all the way home. Even with the drool all over my face.

_526865-small

I was the second teacher out there. No fear. And those boys in the front watching me, I was totally yelling at them. Yeah!!!

Then I came home and spent an hour on the phone with the girlchild, helping her with an essay. I don’t write them for her. I just tell her what’s missing. She knows something is missing…that’s why she calls. The boychild used to send me sentences that were 50 words long and ask me if they made sense. He doesn’t do that any more, so that’s probably a good thing…gotten past needing mom to read your stuff.

I graded. I cooked dinner. I mulled over the political crap in my head. I worried. I petted a bitey puppy.

img_9036-small

It’s all I could have handled honestly. Oh yeah, and this quilt sold.

journalquiltjune05_1000-small

I have an Etsy shop for some of my smaller quilts. I closed it down for a while and then opened it back up. This is from the Journal Quilt Project that Karey Bresenhan spearheaded back in 2005. I’m pretty sure this one is in the book and probably traveled to IQF. A million years ago. Anyway, it has a new home, once I put a label on it and pack it up. So there’s that. Etsy shop is in the sidebar.

OK. Off to school. Hopefully no major issues. They’re kicking us out early due to protest action that’s planned for the afternoon. I guess I’ll be grading all afternoon. Maybe I’ll be able to draw too.

*The Beatles, Hey Jude

I Bleed It Out*

OK. So I’m in this weird place between pieces. You know when you finish one, take a deep breath (and I can’t do that yet, because there are three things I need to fix on it, plus I have to do the final iron and dehair for the photographer…once I finish this post), and then you’re flailing a bit…like WTF do I do next? Man I wish I had time for that sentiment at the moment. In reality, I have one that technically is supposed to be done next week (ha! It’s OK…really, I don’t have to finish it until the end of October), another collaboration with the same deadline (also not happening), and then the deadlines mellow out. A bit. Not really, because I have that awesome solo show next July and I need to make things for that. Before March. I think. And there’s one for December, but honestly, December sounds like it’s a million miles away at the moment. It’s OK. I know it’s not. But my brain is resting a bit with the lack of urgency. Don’t worry. It’ll get back there. Plus I have school kicking my butt.

But you know that place. You fold up the quilt you just finished and you pat it once or twice, look around the studio and think, oh god, this place is a mess, and start to tidy. And then hopefully by the time you’re done, the next project is nicely settled in place, ready to go. I know for most of you, that’s not how it works. You take days, weeks, sometimes even months between projects. But I was talking to my counselor about this, that the one thing that saved me after the last breakup and the kids leaving for college was my ability to MAKE…and not just to make, but to throw myself so deeply in it that I was lost, that I couldn’t even feel the bad shit weighing on me. It was the one place I found peace. And it’s often hard to leave that place…to go out into the world. Even though I know I need to do that…not just for work and food, but to socialize, so I don’t hermit more than I already do.

So I’m really looking forward to meeting some of my online quilt art friends at Quilt National, because some of the ones I’ve never met will be there…but also hopefully to make it in time for the opening this time (my flight got canceled last time). Something to look forward to.

Meanwhile, I have three quilts this weekend that need labels and two that need shipping right away. The other can wait a week or so. And the school workload is crazy. So that. Plus finishing the coloring book. And I don’t even know what else is on the list I started writing last night.

So I sat down last night and finished sewing sleeves on.

img_8939-small

I got into the habit of sewing on bottom and top sleeves on all my quilts…they hang better that way. In fact, in the photo below, the quilt you can just see the bottom of? It needs a bottom sleeve so it will hang better. Maybe someday I’ll do that, but since it’s pretty much aged out of the exhibition circuit, probably not. There’s a black cat in that photo too. Basically whenever I sit on the couch to sew or cut, I get surrounded.

img_8938-small

I knew this quilt would need ink. I just like how it separates sections.

img_8940-small

Some just have a little ink. Some none. This one had an hour and a half of ink.

img_8942-small

That’s kind of a lot…but hands. Overlapping.

img_8943-small

And I debated the rocks…but couldn’t stop.

img_8944-small

You can’t just ink one. Anyway. She’s done. She has a name even, but I’ll wait until I have official photos. I think it’s been a while since I updated the Recent Work section on the website. Oh yeah. Like April. OK. So that’s on my list when I get these photos back.

What’s funny is that I always try to make a new quilt for Visions and Quilt National when they come up. I don’t really worry about whether they get in, because it just motivates me to make a big complicated quilt every year. Really, every summer, I do it anyway. But in the old days, when I only made one big one a year, that was my motivation. For the big shows. The big shows I never get into. So I made one for QN. And it didn’t get in. Which is totally OK, because the one that did was made for ANOTHER show, and it didn’t get into that one. So it all works out in the end.

The dogs in the morning…waiting for me to get my act together and put them where they belong for the day.

img_8923-small

And because I know you wanted to see the branch that came down in the night…in the daylight…it ain’t small…

img_8917-small

Gotta do something about that. Probably soon. Sigh.

Oh and I hadn’t opened the most recent SAQA Journal (been a busy month). Someone had told me about the cover before I received it (Jill Kertulla’s baby being born), which is awesome. But then I looked and the Turmoil exhibit was in there. Over the years, I’ve kind of gotten used to having exhibits in magazines and NOT being in there, although a few have popped up. But usually the nudity throws them out.

img_8945-small

But not only did they put in Jill’s Baby Quilt above, but they put in my Goddess of Never-Ending Chaos. Full on vulva shot folks. I wonder if SAQA gets complaints.

img_8946-small

I hope not. I guess we’ll see how this exhibit travels. At least mine isn’t alone in it’s female part goodness. Hopefully that will help. I won’t be in Houston to see this exhibit, unfortunately, but maybe it will come out to California some time.

OK. I need to really finish that quilt (just need one line I missed and two places that need to be sewn down better. And then prep for photographer. And then head in the game for the next one.

*Linkin Park, Bleed It Out

We Can Dance if We Want to*

It’s still raining. This confuses us here in Southern California. Constant water from the sky? The world is ending? It’s good for the plants, though, so I’ll roll with it. And honestly, I was in a training all day yesterday and will be again today, so I don’t have to deal with students and rain, and that’s a good thing.

The training is for the sex ed program I teach every year. This is my 3rd run through the training, which has now stretched to two days instead of one. And honestly, I don’t need it. There’s a few things they’ve given us that might be useful, but one of those is the notebook with all the updated stuff and some videos online. You could just hand me those. There’s a few new topics and we’ve finally been given the OK to blatantly talk about birth control, instead of sneaking it into the questions at the end of class, so that’s a plus. Besides, really, I’m OK with sitting through two days of training just to guarantee that the teachers who blow this stuff off are actually going to be required to teach about LGBTQ issues. So there we are. But otherwise, yeah, this is going to be my 15th year teaching this unit. Not scared of it. We’ll revise a few things, but otherwise…and the idea to split the unit into 7th and 8th grade, I brought it up with my district…so what do we think we can wait until the end of 8th grade to tell them about reproduction and protection and all this stuff? Because for some of it, even the end of 7th grade is too late.

So that’s what I’m doing all day. And yeah, I graded last night, although I have to tell you, I’m a little frustrated with kids not following instructions. The first unit is kicking butts left and right. OK. So when I hand it back, there’s going to be some discussion.

And then instead of finishing a whole class of grading the unit, I gave up. I really wanted to get the binding on last night, so I cleaned the floor again (muddy dog footprints from the rain) and got started…

img_8887-small

Unfortunately, she was a bitch to trim. Part of it was that the hills etc. weren’t exactly straight. When I iron stuff together, shockingly, it isn’t always perfect. But I fussed with it for a while and finally got it where I needed it to be. I love the quilts that trim perfectly the first time. This was not one of those.

I got the binding and sleeves on, top and bottom. These quilts hang better with a slat in the bottom as well.

img_8888-small

That blue and yellow star fabric has been in my stash for a million years. Seriously, since the 90s. People always want to know how long I’ve been doing this. I took my first quilt class at the age of 23 in 1990…and I moved into more arty quilts pretty quickly, although I think my first official art quilt wasn’t made until 1999. I was futzing around with techniques before then. Even then, I made quilts completely differently. In 2000, I actually hand-appliqued an entire (small) art quilt. It took forever. In 2001, I got to the system I use now, mostly. I started small with very few pieces…and now, well, I’m a little crazy with piece counts and size.

Anyway, I pinned everything back. Yup. I still sew them by hand. I have a few quilts where I didn’t, and I prefer how these look. I’m a little old school sometimes.

img_8892-small

I started hand sewing them. And I emailed my photographer. This one will need ink too.

So the rain thing is really upsetting Simba. Every time I’ve tried to put him out to use the facilities, he’s run back to the door. I guess water is terrifying. Amusing, since I bathed him yesterday…damn fleas this year are heinous.

img_8883-small

After his bath, he ran around psychotically, rubbing his whole tiny body over the carpet (well, I guess we’ll be killing the fleas in the carpet too)…and then settled down behind my dinner companion (it was safer there).

img_8884-small

Poor puppy.

This is the next mural in the Sea Walls excursion from last weekend; this one is still in the North Park/Hillcrest area. It faces someone’s house…probably nicer to look at than a blank wall…

img_8777-small

This one is by Gloria Muriel, whose murals I have photographed before. I haven’t found online yet where the artists explain how their work is related to the ocean project, although this is obviously water…nice water molecule shown on the forehead…I only know some because I saw stuff on Instagram.

img_8779-small

Anyway. Nice mural. Yes. I still want to grow up and be a mural painter. So there.

I do need to start getting serious about the next quilt project though. Aack.

*Men Without Hats, Safety Dance

Nobody Knows Me at All*

A short and quiet song to start the day…because it’s Monday and whatever the music app plays sets the tone for the day. Sometimes. This morning it’s quiet and a little folksy and guitar and pure voice. That might get me through the day.

As usual, I didn’t get everything done. I never do. It’s the wonder of being a teacher and an artist. There’s never a stopping point. There are marks I aim for, stopping points. Progress checks. I did finish the outline quilting last night, and then started the background, of which there is very little. I wanted to be done with the quilting yesterday, but school took up the entire afternoon. I have two days of training this week, so I had to prep for the sub. Ugh. Two days of sub…I’m going to come back to chaos. Not looking forward to that.

I had everything done up until the last figure’s head…the biggest head in the piece…

img_8859-small

And then the clouds above her head, where disasters reside.

img_8861-small

Quilting a rift in the ground, a bomb, that mushroom cloud, a burning church…she’s got plenty on her mind…

img_8862-small

Done. Upside down. Because I’m starting the background quilting right there…I think. I was debating using the same color thread as what I outlined with, which sometimes works…

img_8864-small

But when I tried it against the background fabric, there was a lighter color that worked better. I don’t have a full spool of it, but honestly, I don’t think I need a full spool. And I have two others that have a little bit on them. So I went for it.

img_8865-small

I should easily be able to finish the quilting today. Now binding is the issue. I always need supplies in the middle of the night, because that’s when I work…so I’m better off just pulling it off the machine this morning and taking it with me, so I can hit the fabric store after school. That will guarantee my ability to put the binding on whenever I finish quilting. And I have to tell you, I wasn’t expecting to be this far ahead. But I am. Good thing. There’s two for October (not as complicated as this)…and I’m so far behind in grading, I’m starting to panic. But it will be fine! Ha.

I’m a little stressed out.

From the inside of the house, this guy looked like a stick insect. But no…that looks like a praying mantis…not a pretty green one, but I don’t think we get pretty green anything here in dry desert world.

img_8867-small

Kitten would have been excited by that. She really likes lizards too.

This quilt is almost done. Mind-boggling. I really didn’t think I could get it done in time.

*The Weepies, Nobody Knows Me at All

And I Told You to Be Patient*

Sigh. Hallelujah for Fridays. I have so much schoolwork to do, I feel like I can’t breathe. But I also want to finish quilting. Plus spend time with humans (well, a little). Three meetings yesterday kind of buried me. Today should be better. I need to get my grading focus on and get some shit done. Then come home and quilt.

I thought yesterday would be a no-art day, and I was right. There wasn’t any energy left at the end of the day. I went out for dinner and a drum circle (like you do)…the view from dinner (if you looked up and back)…

img_8724-small

Turned out to be an electronic drum circle, and less about drums and more about electronic. There were brief moments of “Yeah, that!” and then some doofus would drop in his shit and it would all fall to hell.

img_8727-small

It was nice to get out and do something different though.

I came home, sat down, and immediately had both dogs vying for attention…which I gave them…they were kissing each other at some point (well, boisterously licking faces anyway, which is new)…

img_8742-small

And then it devolved into crazy in-my-lap psychosis.

img_8744-small

Always fun (that big dog is upside down in my lap and the little one is trying to stomp her).

It seemed logical to just go to bed and hope today was more productive. It should be. I probably should walk the dogs this evening, but hopefully that will just be a short 3-miler. And then food and sewing. Grading. Ugh. I don’t like the last part, but it needs to be done.

And I just saw this…and interview by HollyAnne of String and Story. Go check it out and then wander through the rest of her website…

*Bon Iver, Skinny Love

Some Nights I Call It a Draw*

I’m quilting! Yes, even though the union meeting went until after 6 PM and I had to blow off book club for about the 4th month in a row (I even read the books and then don’t make it to the meeting…even more lame)…I still managed to quilt for almost three hours last night. I’m not even sure how I did that. I think I got into a zone and didn’t come out until I realized I had two meetings this morning and actually remembered to set my alarm early. A miracle, surely.

I’ve been getting a few messages from Chattanooga attendees, at the shop and the show. I appreciate all the little protests going on. There’s a few people here wearing the pins around, even at school (it’s in cursive…the kids can’t read cursive. It will be our new old-people secret language). I really can’t waste any more energy on their crazy. ALL their crazy. But you should go to the show and appreciate the SAQA quilts that are there, and check out the rest of it, and then head out to Spool to see my two and Melly Testa’s piece as well.

Meanwhile, I’m trying to get the next quilt (without a penis in it) done in time. And mentally work on the next two projects at once.

Not the easiest thing to do. Kitten still resents my taking her chair. Look at her face. Won’t even meet my eyes.

img_8717-small

I booked all the way through the rest of the rocks and the water and up both sides through the land sections, and then did the boat…

img_8718-small

And I started working on stuff in the boat, but that’s when I looked at the clock.

img_8720-small

I only have about 3 1/2 hours in…and most of the detail is in the center section, where the three larger bodies overlap, so that’s the next step. I don’t think I’ll get much done tonight…I’m going to a drum circle thing. You know, like you do on a school night. I hate thinking of it as school nights and not being able to do stuff, but that’s the reality of it. I can’t blow off teaching because I was out late…and for me, it’s usually just staying up late making art. But it is looking more and more like I’ll get it quilted this weekend. I can’t ignore the pile of Unit 1 science packets staring me in the face, though. They need grading, because we just started Unit 2. I made a mistake on the cover, but we’re teaching kids to recover from that shit (because they’ll have to), so I rolled with it. I was drawing and thought H 2 O. So that’s what I drew. An H and 2 Os. Duh.

img_8707-small

I think the molecules look like spaced-out frogs.

I really should go in early, because I’m not even prepped for today. I had a meeting after school yesterday and didn’t think to do it during 8th period. Ugh. I hate that. I used to have early prep and that helped, but this midday stuff is mostly useless. Sigh.

*Fun, Some Nights