I Can Paint This Picture Any Way That I See Fit*

Efficiency and balance…two things I’m always working towards…and often fighting like a ninja. I am just like you. I stare at a screen (phone, computer, TV) sometimes, unable to move off the couch (more lately…disheartened). I’d rather read my book or scan stupid articles sometimes than stand up (more standing! after a job where I stand all day) and make art. Sometimes I’m just tired. Sometimes I’m not motivated (deadlines help with that…hence, I just emailed the photographer…on a quilt that’s nowhere near done). I still do this though…this making, creating, pulling apart and putting back together based on the shit in my head. I can’t tell you when the drive to make got so strong…I know it’s gotten stronger than it was when I was a kid…every year…more of a push.

Yesterday, after teaching and prepping for crazy lab days this week (we are going to boil and foam and bubble and explode everything), I drove in traffic and rain across town to pick up my nightstand pieces from that show (that was quick)…and over an hour and a half later (ugh), I got home and started dinner. Fed the dogs. Did some school stuff. And then settled down to the artmaking.

It didn’t take long to iron the head to the rest of the body…

img_0366-small

The bottom’s all rolled up there to get it out of the way. Then I laid it out on one of the possible backgrounds. Now it’s true I was tired, but I probably should have cut the piece a little bigger, because it got a little fussy in the end, trying to fit it on there. Not sure what I was thinking. This piece is all about making shit work, even when I fuck it up.

Flipping the locations of the sun/cloud and the bird worked OK…I had to fuss with it a little to get the bird to fit, but it will be OK. And stitching will give it the detail I want…

img_0367-small

And this morning, the name (so far) popped into my head.

Unfortunately, my sewing chair was already populated…Huh. There’s all these other places she sleeps in my office, but today apparently this was the place. She doesn’t like the other chair, either, so I can’t just move her. She used to sit in the other one…but not since I bought this new one. Not sure why.

img_0368-small

Well. I’ve lived with cats for a long time and sometimes I push them off, but I’m much more likely to adjust to sit with the cat wherever it is. I started stitching down with her there. Eventually she left…but she stayed for a good long time. It’s cold here (for Southern California, that is…), so it’s probably pretty warm stuck behind my butt.

img_0373-small

I didn’t get a ton done, so I will probably still be doing stitch down tonight. I was hoping for pinbaste tonight, but I don’t think I’m going to get that far. I did about an hour and 15 minutes of stitch down last night, and I’m still down in the dirt. So it’s gonna be a while. Finish tonight, then pinbaste Wednesday. Hopefully start quilting Wednesday. I’m crazy if I think that’s going to be quick. The outlining won’t be too bad, but there’s a shitload of background in this thing (reasons to make the image cover the background…less quilting needed). I’m going to guess there’s about 25 hours left in making this quilt…and so it’s a good thing the copyediting job got delayed again, because this needs to be at the photographer just before that starts. So 25 hours in a week and a half, on top of teaching full time and trying to plan through January. Uh huh. Yeah. I can do that (yes, I’m crazy…but honestly, I haven’t been sleeping well…so there’s no point in going to bed early.).

Today, though, first I need to go to school and get ready to set fire to things (seriously…and hopefully not myself). I’m glad I got started on the stitching at least…finally progress on this thing. It’s been a frustrating quilt…I’m ready for it to be done.

*Indigo Girls, Collecting You

Into Pieces Over Reasons*

This is a weird Thanksgiving. My kids are both together in Boston. My parents are at Arrowhead. My brother and his family are in Seattle. And I’m here. With the dogs and the cats. I needed the time though. Still do. I’m so far behind…and I know how bad the three weeks between Thanksgiving and Winter Break are for teachers…so I’m more than a little panicked.

That panic made me grade stuff yesterday. I still have some more to do…some today for sure. I realized the next progress reports are due in like two weeks. Because they’re trying to kill us, I think. Whatever. I woke up this morning with a massive headache…there’s some weather coming in (hot Santa Ana winds…not snow) and that does mess with my head…but my eye sockets are pounding. This is not good. I’ve got some meds in me and I’m drinking tea. We’ll see if that kicks it.

I did better yesterday in the efficiency games (Think Hunger Games without the killing). The grading was part of it…and I’m still two days behind where I wanted to be on the quilt. I can’t really explain that. I did finish cutting out though…10 hours total…

img_0257-small

And then later, I sorted them all. That was about an hour.

img_0263-small

I couldn’t bring myself to start ironing though. I was tired from being woken up early by American Airlines calling me to tell me the boychild’s flight had been moved yet again. I hope he has an easier time getting back to school.

So I do want to start ironing today. But no way am I going to finish in one day, not with Thanksgiving dinner in the middle of that. And tomorrow, I’m supposed to be helping do my own yardwork. So that’s going to cut into ironing time. Plus I bid on another copyediting job. Because I’m crazy. That’s why. Because I’m afraid there won’t be enough money to pay all the bills. That’s why.

I think ironing will take at least 12 hours. Who knows. Maybe I’ll be really efficient. Ha. This week. Not an efficiency tale.

I washed the puppy. He was muddy from the weekend. And then I trimmed a giant knot out of his butt hair. Pomeranians are the worst-designed dogs ever.

img_0246-small

He doesn’t like water. He gets the rips (an original doggie blow dryer) and rubs his body all over the carpet.

I also made brine for the turkey I bought for myself. Yup. I’ll cook it tomorrow and pull the meat off for turkey sandwiches. I’ll freeze half of it so it’ll last a goodly portion of December. I did this last year too. I’m a little weird that way. But I love post-Thanksgiving turkey sandwiches.

img_0250-small

The dogs played a lot yesterday. Although I think this is Calli trying to sleep while Simba tries to play.

img_0252-small

Certainly they sleep well together…

img_0259-small

Turkey brining away.

img_0260-small

So I’m thankful for time to make art. Thankful for a break from school. Thankful I could get the kids together at least. Thankful that someone will take me in for dinner tonight. Thankful for working internet. Thankful for a warm sunny day…although I would also be thankful for rain. Thankful for sleeping in this morning (let’s not talk about the middle-of-the-night raccoon barking fit). Thankful for music. Thankful for Netflix. Thankful for the animals. Thankful for tea. Thankful for my sketchbook and a handful of pens. Thankful for the 1000-page book that I feel like I’ve already read but I’m reading again? Except I don’t know when or how I would have already read it. But it sounds so familiar. That’s it for now…

*21 Pilots, Forest

Into the Sea of Waking Dreams*

It’s a survival day. I’m tired, I’m emotional (for a variety of reasons, none of them particularly clear or definitive), the kids are psychotic (anyone who’s ever been on a school campus the day or so before a week off knows what this looks like…it’s worse than the day after Halloween), and I just want it to be done. I want everything to just stop for a while and leave me alone so I can think. And maybe read my book. Because it’s good but really long and I want to finish it before the damn library steals it back from me. It’s digital, so they can actually do that, instead of my just holding on to it for an extra few days to finish it. There’s over 1000 pages in it, so that doesn’t help.

I had an artists’ talk last night…I know my brain slowed down enough that I couldn’t remember the phrase “free association”. Amusingly. Some guy came up afterward and asked if that’s what I had meant. Sure. Yeah. Couldn’t free associate free association. It was a hard lesson to teach yesterday, mostly because I knew I was being observed in my last period, which is notoriously one of my worst, but also because some days I only barely have an understanding of what I’m teaching (as I’m quickly googling sublimation because I kinda know what it is, but not well enough to explain it to 7th graders). By the end of the day, though, I had reminded myself of stuff I used to teach that was related to what we were doing…and it helped.

But exhausted. That’s the place I was…and still am. So tired it hurts to hold my eyelids up. And I can’t get the puppy to come inside this morning. He just wants to be out and running around and digging at something that was out in the yard last night. I can’t leave him out all day because of coyotes, so he’s got to come back in. Fuck.

I’m nowhere near where I wanted (needed?) to be on this quilt dammit. And that basically means I need to finish everything before Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday. Yeah. I know. That’s crazy talk. OK, maybe I can still have binding to hand sew at that point. So Saturday through Thursday. Probably another 8 hours of ironing, then say 6 hours of cutting, another 10 hours to iron it together, then stitch down of about 4 hours (I am totally making this shit up), then sandwich and pinbaste for an hour, then quilt for 6 hours. Sew binding on is another 2 hours for the non-handsewing part. Ha! 36 hours. OK. That’s only like 7 hours a day. Shit. OK. Sigh. It’s good to see that out in front of me.

I did iron a little bit last night…added some purples and yellows…

img_0159-small

Found those silly dirt pieces from the night before.

img_0160-small

Still need to decide what color the dinosaur is going to be.

I was tired.

Thing is, on a good day, I can work on art for 10+ hours…so maybe I just need to aim for that. And ignore the fact that I do have stuff to grade. And the house is a mess. And I have a copyediting job that’s showing up. Minor issue.

I’m still trying to persuade the dogs that it is warmer together (yeah, I had two cats with me last night in bed), but they are both wary of each other…

img_0169-small

Simba loves Calli’s bed and wishes he could sleep on it all night (he can’t, because he’s a destructive barky asshole at night). If Simba’s on the bed, Calli comes running to me to complain about the interloper. I try to tell her how BIG she is and how she should just lie down next to him, but it takes me forcing the issue for it to happen.

OK. 1. Survive today without crying in front of students (wow. That sounds pitiful.). 2. Make art like a crazy woman. 3. Meditate regularly. 4. Go out in nature and hike around with dogs. 5. Sleep more. 6. Fix and clean everything. Seems like a good plan for the week off.

*Sarah McLachlan, Possession

Saying It’s Not a Catastrophe*

I think my brain just stopped. I woke up to news (again) of internment camps and registries, woke up too early because I have to be at school to help with a rewards breakfast, probably for a couple of Muslim kids, as well as other types of kids…honestly, if we’re going to do internment camps and registries, let’s start with those who kill the most in our country: white males with guns. OK. Once we have that camp going (which probably includes a goodly number of my neighbors and even probably my dad, although not my brother, hallelujah), THEN we can talk about the next largest group who kills people here in the United States. And just a clue…it’s still not Muslims. How does any of this make sense? Is there a white male politician internment camp being planned? I say we pick a state who wants them and put a wall around it. I’m pretty sure I could write an fairly entertaining dystopian (except NOT so unreal and in the future at the moment) novel about this.

I know I’m not the only one waking up every morning at the moment dreading what’s being reported next. I guess there is solace in that. I’m gonna go hug some kids today…ALL of them. I talked to one kid yesterday who hates (with a passion) the US military. You know why? They bombed his town. He lay in (under?) his bed at night listening to glass break and bombs fall, he heard how our soldiers talked to his people, and he hates them. I don’t blame him. We had a good discussion. He doesn’t hate America. He doesn’t hate all Americans. He just hates the military. He’s incredibly intelligent…and I talked to him about finding a place for that anger…about processing it. Meanwhile, very few kids want to say the pledge of allegiance still, and there are days when I feel the same way about it. You want white supremacists and women-haters and Jew-haters and Muslim-haters and let’s just break it down here…HATERS in charge. I don’t get it. I won’t pledge to that.

I made art. Slowly. Tiredly. I went to the gym and the chiropractor before that…so it was already late. I keep forgetting how much I like the gym. I should remember that more often.

You may not know that I have to escort (with flashlight) two dogs outside multiple times a night. They’re both scared of the dark, and one doesn’t like water either (sometimes that shit falls from the sky). I’m not sure I understand why she likes to stand in the ferns, but she does. She’s not peeing. She’s not doing anything but standing in them.

img_0095-small

Weird dog.

Here’s all the fabrics I used last night…lots of browns. I just realized I cut out all the dirt except for the dark part around the hole, and I put all those fabrics away. Dammit. I was tired last night.

img_0096-small

And I didn’t even use that pink one on the right. It was too much trouble to put it back though. I need to install a light under the desk so I can see the fabrics under there better. Home Depot trip in my future.

Here’s everything I’ve ironed down. I haven’t gotten very far…I’m in the 100s. But it’s taking me forever. Deciding which browns and grays…I stared at the grays for about 20 minutes last night trying to find a lighter brownish gray to go with the other two I’d already picked…this for a mole who is about 2 inches across. Sometimes my brain doesn’t work well. It probably didn’t matter THAT much, but eventually I found a third fabric that worked.

img_0097-small

Today is a long day…and I’m not sure I’m ready for any of it. Too tired really to handle it well, I think…and yet I will have to. True for all of us, I guess. Although if you’re one of those who is currently fist-bumping the air over the internment camps, I’d tell you to piss off, but maybe, really, maybe what you should do is come visit my classes for a day. And meet some of them. And tell me why those kids (or their parents) deserve to be harassed. Or you can just quietly decide to stop reading my blog. I really don’t care which you choose.

*Aimee Mann, Humpty Dumpty

Did You Know You Brought Me Around*

I think when I finally get to the chiropractor tomorrow, he’s not gonna let me leave. I’ll just have to stay there until my neck and back are fixed. And that might be days. In awesome-sauce news, I finished grading the giant science unit, so now I can breathe a little easier. I still have grading to do, of course, because it’s not the end of June (seriously, that’s the only time it stops), but the big ugly thing is gone. Whoo! I really wanted to celebrate with someone at 10:30 last night, but everyone I knew who would care was asleep. So I did a little dance, scared the crap out of the animals, took some deep meditative breaths, and tried to stop grinding my teeth…that’s been going on for over a month now. Not a good sign. Think I either need a vacation where I sleep and sit in a hot tub and nothing else, or about 17 massages.

But in other good news, I did manage to finish cutting out the rest of the Wonder Under…only 6 hours and a few minutes to do that. And then I sorted it…

img_0081-small

That’s the easy part. Next is the fabric choosing part, which is fun. But hard to do at the end of a school day, because of all the standing. I’ll do it, though. I need to be ironing by Monday. And that means about 10 hours of ironing and another 6-8 of cutting shit out before then. Plus everything else that’s happening this week.

Luckily, the animals just lie around and sleep all night…

img_0078-small

Or look cute.

img_0080-small

That makes some of it easier to think about. Progress. I wanted to draw last night. These two drawings are wearing on me. I need them out of my head.

*Zero 7, Somersault

If I Just Lay Here*

It’s amazing how two full nights of sleep help. Although things are still looming, I think I can handle them. For now. Ask me how I feel about that on December 1, though. Or in January, when the politics get worse than they already are. Friends are worried about their posts becoming an issue with the change in political climate. Artist friends are ramping up their political pressure. I know where I stand on that, I guess. I’ve been apparently making controversial art for a long time…I suspect that’s going to continue, based on the drawings currently in my head.

I was grading yesterday at school…there’s A/C there (it was in the 90s yesterday here in sunny Southern California), plus the construction noise here was driving me bonkers. I’m going back tomorrow. But I’m sitting there grading as both my kids are going back and forth about political stuff they’re involved in at school…and you worry, because you’re the mom, but I’m really proud of them. Good kids. Go out and change the world. Because this sucks. Big time. I feel a disconnect between their marching in protests and the like and my sitting here and grading papers about atoms.

Meanwhile, I got about halfway through the piles. That’s it. I’m going back today.

img_0006-small

It was about 3 1/2 hours yesterday. Probably will be the same today, if I can find 3 1/2 hours. I still need to finish a worksheet for Tuesday, write next week’s warmups, write and send next week’s parent email (these are the things I do on Sundays), and who knows what else. But my goal is to have all those graded before break so I don’t have to worry about them then. I can work on the quilt that has to be done in early December and the copyediting, when it comes. And maybe clean the house and clean up the downed branch that’s been in the back yard for about 6 weeks now.

I walked the dogs too…and myself. A nice 3-mile hike to clear the mind. Those are harder to do with the time change…it gets dark too damn early.

I went to an opening, shopping for pens (there’s only one place I’ve found to get them locally, and it’s in Hillcrest, which is a pain in the butt for parking), made dinner, and then settled down to the long boring task of cutting out Wonder Under pieces…with Midnight supervising.

img_0029-small

It’s actually sort of meditative, and I kind of get surrounded by animals…it’s hot during the day, but chilly at night, so they gather around.

img_0033-small

Simba isn’t sure about being next to Calli…but she really doesn’t care…unless he’s biting her.

img_0046-small

Of the 5 yards, this is 4 of them cut out on the bottom, a box of trash on the top. Just one more to go. Not sure if that will happen today, but I did give myself Sunday as well…because sorting them will probably take an hour as well.

img_0049-small

Then later this week, I can start ironing them down. Although one other thing I’ll need to do today or tomorrow is find or buy a background fabric. Which means staring at the drawing for a while to figure out what color that might be. I don’t have a clear image of this in my head at the moment, in color at least, so that might take some rumination. I’d really rather be ready to go today…so that’s grading, drawing, and fabric today. Plus an opening. Plus some version of socializing. Well. Maybe with just one other person. Not sure I can handle more than that at the moment. Says the woman going to another opening tonight. Sigh. OK. Whatever. Still crying at the drop of a hat. I am so worried about the future of my students…about the future of my own children. There is too much crazy in the world.

*Snow Patrol, Chasing Cars

I Don’t Know Why Sometimes I Get Frightened*

Yes. I have the day off. Thank you, veterans of the world. I’ve been reading too much (as many of us over-educated people apparently do) lately, and am disturbed by references to how major conflicts and wars began in the past and what we are seeing with Brexit and TrumpWorld. Though I am not pro military in many ways and I wish we could coexist in this world without always trying to force each other to behave, I also realize the Hitlers and Putins and Mugabes of the world probably need a military force in order to make them behave. A worldwide force. So for stopping concentration camps and dropping atom bombs, I will say thank you to our veterans. And for anything that we need to do in the future…protecting human rights for all…not just whoever seems to be in charge.

That said, holiday or not, I am going to work as soon as I finish this. I have a pile of work that is taller than I am, I think. I can’t go into this weekend with that hanging over me. I want to get a good chunk of it done. Especially since I know I have a quilt that needs to get done over Thanksgiving week…because I’m starting a copyediting job right after that. So time is tight.

But my brain is in this place. We met last night for the next show my women’s art group is planning and we revised it in light of the election. And on the way home, the drawing for it popped into my head. I need time to sit out on the deck and draw that. Although the mosquitoes are back. So maybe not on the deck. Sigh. But the world does not feel safe at the moment, not for women, not for LGBTQ, not for my refugee and immigrant students, not for anyone who does not want to feel attacked all the time. There is a call for people like me to better understand those who voted for Trump, and I have a hard time getting past the reality that a lot of it was probably a sexist choice or a choice based on fear of change. But I will listen. And I will act…if that act is making more art, or if it is marching in solidarity somewhere, or if it is speaking up against racism and sexism and xenophobia everywhere (I already do this in my classroom), then so be it.

I came home and finished tracing the Wonder Under on the new piece…just over 10 hours…

img_9985-small

It’s 5 yards…about…of Wonder Under. I almost met my revised schedule on this. I think I wanted to be done tracing on Wednesday and cutting on Thursday.

Midnight. You are such a dork.

img_9991-small

But I did start cutting…got two yards cut out. And watched all of Colony…dystopian societies with revolutionary groups fighting for freedom and rights. Huh.

img_9994-small

This morning, there’s the remaining three yards waiting for me. Tonight?

img_9997-small

If I get enough work done, yes. Finish cutting them out this weekend and sort them. Start picking fabrics by Sunday night? Maybe. Ouch. Way too much to do. Grading. Finishing that worksheet for Tuesday’s class (waited a bit too long on that one). Planning for after break…just getting the normal school stuff done on top of this grading pile. And the holidays coming…

Yesterday, I had this one group of kids fighting over the lab equipment, and then the two boys were denigrating the one girl who was trying to do her part, and I finally went off on them. Quietly. Which I think scared them. And I asked them what we were learning in homeroom about how to listen to other people respectfully, and I asked them why they were trying to make the two girls feel bad for “not doing it right.” They froze. And their faces dropped. And they heard me for once. Hey, that age…when they DO hear you, that’s a big one. I’m keeping that moment in my heart and head at the moment. That was a success. They worked together after that. Mostly. Because one of the boys has some major shit in his head. But those moments give me hope.

Yeah. I need a hike today too. I bet the dogs do too…so despite temperatures in the 90s and early sunset, I’m going to push that into the schedule. Because I have to take care of this stressful, panicked feeling. One of my art friends said, “Make Art Loudly.” Yeah. That.

*Split Enz, I Got You

When the Evening’s Thin*

So many conversations going on. So many worries. So many stories of hate out there. My students who wouldn’t stand for the Pledge of Allegiance. Hell, I’m with them on many days, but I told them, this is YOUR country. Not Trump’s. Be angry. Be scared. But remember this is your country. Hard for some of them to hear, as refugees. As immigrants. I remind them my own family immigrated here. We didn’t start here. We left oppression, starvation, and came here.

I had a long meeting after school, then a longish phone conversation. The plus is I got the copyediting job, but it will start later than I thought. In some ways, that’s good…it gives me a chance to finish the grading I’m trying to do on the last HUGE unit, plus the quilt that needs to be done by December (ouch. scary.). And then December will be a bit of a bitch. But I’ll have some money by the end of it for college. And I need that right now.

I did grade some stuff last night. And then I went back to tracing…

img_9965-small

At one point, I thought I could finish last night…but then I realized I had another 150 pieces to go, which is at least an hour and probably closer to two. And it was midnight. Hmmn. And I had to be up early for a meeting. Ugh. Yesterday, I lit about 45 candles. For science…although I did briefly say some good thoughts to the goddess while doing it. And I don’t do that often. I didn’t set off any fire alarms. I feel pretty good about that. Today I think I will have to tie knots in 45 balloons. We’ll see.

Tomorrow I walk these guys…except it’s in the 90s today and supposed to be tomorrow as well (is it November? Really?).

img_9968-small

Someone left my yard gate open and both of them got out yesterday evening. In the dark. The little one doesn’t come when he’s called, but he follows when the big one and I run away from him. I’m a little creeped out by the gate…who was here? Pool guy doesn’t come on Wednesday. Plus the pool was full of leaves, so I know he wasn’t here. This living alone thing is scary sometimes. I reminded a friend who called last night that she was lucky to have someone to cuddle with in bed tonight…so she should go do that and enjoy it.

Tonight? Another meeting. But maybe I’ll finish tracing and move on to the next step. And maybe I’ll find time to draw. Because I think that would be a plus over the next few days. I need some space for my head to get out on paper. As many of us do.

*Sarah McLachlan, Building a Mystery

It’s a Very, Very Mad World, Mad World*

Reeling. More worried about how to walk into my classroom today and let my almost 100% immigrant kids know that they are safe here in TrumpWorld.

mar-26-09-064-medium

Because I’m not sure they are.

mar-26-09-065-medium

Reeling for women’s reproductive rights…hell, women’s rights in general. LGBTQ rights. Human rights. The Supreme Court. My taxes. My kids in college, paying college fees and loans. My health insurance. But mostly knowing that I am currently under a government that doesn’t care about those things. Or me. Or my students. And people around me voted for them…not just Trump, because he is just one man, but a conservative, racist, misogynist man who takes the slightest offense and turns it into a Tweet war, and a government that might be on his side.

I started having a panic attack around 7 or so, so I turned off the news and started tracing. I traced for over 3 hours. My kids were texting me all throughout. It’s possible the girlchild is rioting right now, while the anarchist boychild plots some sort of political overthrow. I’m OK with both of those right now. (And if they’re not, maybe they should be.)

img_9961-small

I guess that was my meditative solution to the stress levels.

img_9962-small

I’m about 540 pieces in. Another night like that and I’ll be done.

Simba tried to help. Petting animals is supposed to help.

img_9956-small

Yesterday’s new unit cover page.

img_9948-small

It’s pretty cool, but I’m more horrified by my country right now than pleased with my cover page.

Peace on people. Stand up. Get educated. Yell loud. Don’t stop yelling. Don’t give up.

*Gary Jules, Mad World

Everything’s in Order in a Black Hole*

I don’t talk about politics much on here. I mean, I talk about political things, but the election crap this year has been more than I wanted to handle. Too much crazy. I voted weeks ago, basically as soon as I got my ballot and found 3 hours to read everything (San Diego ballot this year was hefty hefty hefty). I suspect most of you might guess my politics just based on my regular rants, but just in case, I got this…

img_9925-small

which might be dangerous in my part of town. But whatever. I stand by it. And I raised my kids to stand by it. Luckily, I will be distracted by teaching all day, so I won’t have to hear about voter turnouts etc., and I can choose not to watch the chaos tonight. I’d really just rather wake up tomorrow to a new world. Except no matter what happens, tomorrow will be filled with chaos. Ah well. At least I now have the right to vote, despite my uterus and its apparently harmful effect on my brain.

Whatever your thing, go vote. Then hold them to their promises. Or fight their crazy. Whichever seems appropriate.

This text from the girlchild from yesterday morning is still cracking me up.

img_9921-small

(she was writing an essay.)

So yesterday, I finished grades. At least mostly. Which is good, because they’re due at 2 today. I dumped a couple of assignments. They just weren’t in the cards. That happens. And then I bid on a copyediting job. Which seems crazy, when I look at my deadlines, but it’s a pretty compact job, though not small, and would give me a good chunk of money towards paying the next college bill. I can’t ignore the multiple thousands I need to come up with in the next 6 months. I can’t just scrimp and save to get them. I need to do more work…work that’s paid. So if I get that job, the next few weeks will be a bit crazy. Oh well.

Then I finally made it to the artmaking space…both in my head and on the light table. There’s no motivation like the potential start of a new time-sucker to get you going…

img_9929-small

It’s not going particularly quickly, unfortunately. I didn’t start until after 10 PM and I’m only in the mid 200s…with 800 pieces total in the drawing. And the next big assignment to be graded gets turned in today. I’m not ready. I need a break from hours staring at a computer. That’s the thing…it’s never-ending.

So I trace for three more nights? Get done (might be wishful thinking…there’s meetings galore this week). I have Friday off. It all depends on whether I get this other job. If not, it’s a piece of cake. I start ironing over the weekend and cutting stuff out next week, ready to iron together over Thanksgiving, then quilt etc. (while finishing grading…and possibly copyediting for hours). Yeah. So I’m kind of in flux at the moment. But much much MUCH happier and more relaxed today after tracing last night. Interesting how that works. Make time for art. Shee-it. You’d think I would always be able to do that, but apparently not.

*Arctic Monkeys, Fluorescent Adolescent