OK. So I’ve been sick with COVID since Sunday night, apparently (sorry to my plane mates…I didn’t know). Yeah, I should have been masked, although I’m not sure where the girlchild and I both got sick. Hoping today is fever free. I am better…the first few days were very low energy and sleepy. I’m definitely increasing in energy, but was still running fevers yesterday on and off. I’ve canceled/rescheduled the dentist, exercise, lunch, not sure what else. I was planning on getting a booster shot this week, before going back to school. Oh well. Interestingly, the last time I tested positive, I had almost no symptoms. Not so much this time. Lots of sleeping and reading going on, and when I felt more energetic, I started appliqueing wool bits down to the borders of Sue Spargo’s Homegrown.
It’s mindboggling how long this takes.
Once I had tested for COVID, I moved into the girlchild’s room and my office, trying to limit the other people in the house from exposure. Hoping I wasn’t too late. It didn’t even cross my mind when I first started feeling sick. Silly really. The Man starts his new job on Monday and we’re hoping he doesn’t come down with it.
I’ve stitched down all the stuff on the top and bottom borders; I’m doing the side borders now.
Five flowers a side. Big ones. Time-consuming. Not hard though, which is good, because my brain is mostly nonfunctional. Amusingly, I’m also doing my district/state-mandated online trainings today, with about half my brain. Seriously, I’ve experienced over 20 years of integrated pest management and bloodborne pathogen trainings. The assessments are often stupid, making you memorize things that are not useful, like how big an opening a mouse needs to get in a building (all of them were small; you literally had to memorize which small thing they had mentioned in 28 minutes). I’m not saying we don’t need to know these things…it’s just a lot of minutiae.
Back to the stitching…there’s about 85 pieces that need to be appliqued down on the two side borders, and I probably have spent 8 hours so far. Not all of it this week…
Last night, I had Simba on the bed (past his bedtime) and Bowie coming to visit.
I kicked Bowie out later because he keeps climbing on shit and knocking things over.
Sleepy boy.
So I still have a ton of those to stitch down if I need more down time, which I probably do. I’d like to be energetic and well enough to stand in here (I’m in the office right now) and iron things to fabric…the thing I started before I went to San Francisco. I’d also like to have enough energy to go to ceramics, because it’s been a while and I’m worried about my piece. Not much I can do about it at the moment. I’ve had to move a bunch of stuff to next week that was supposed to happen this week, so it’s all of a sudden more full than I like. It is what it is, I guess. It’s now officially August and I have to think about school. Total mindset flip.
Meanwhile, the cats are all exhausted.
And hot…
Kind of with them.
There’s this…
No hubs but…and this is a joke, but I’d rather spend time making art, thanks.
OK, back to mandated reporter videos. I would like to thank them for making up a new complicated story for each year. Just watching this set of videos is traumatic. And having reported more than once, it’s too bad that humans can’t be better across the board. I have one anonymous card that I’ve kept for three years now. I do often wonder about that child and how they’re doing (multiple reports, police were involved, they sent the kid home with parents). Ah yes. And watching this training while thinking about the current government and the Epstein files? WTF. There’s a gap there that cannot be explained.
Sigh. Hopefully no fever today so I can be a little more active…starting tomorrow, I can be out of the house if I have no fever, although I need to track down a mask. Pretty sure there’s one in a purse or bag somewhere, or maybe in the car. I have a million at school…ironically. My gym bag? I’m glad I had enough books and brainless stitching lying around to entertain me, and furry beasts to provide sighs, boofs, and love. And someone to go out and buy more meds and food. Not that food is very exciting at the moment. I’m doing a lot of revising what I eat to get blood sugar to behave (hard when you’re sick). The CGM has been really helpful and I’m glad I finally agreed to it. Insurance is covering it completely, and if I keep up how I’ve been doing, my A1C will be coming down in the next three months. All good. Art. Health. Balance.
Summer is the time for all the doctor stuff. I am squeezing in three appointments this week and two next week. Pro: I got the tooth pain hopefully taken care of this morning with a root canale (been dealing with that on and off for a year) and got rid of an early morning ultrasound (fasting before school; torture). I’m doing the best I can with this aging body. I have a team of specialists trying to help. I just need one to drop off meals! Is that a thing? OK, I know people can cook for me but it’s completely outside of my means and not required. I’m just tired of trying new things and having them taste blech or react badly with my digestive system or just make me feel crappy. Working on it.
I might be done dye painting for this time around. I need to type up a document for myself so the next time I do it, everything I need to know will be in one place. I painted two more at home here, but won’t have time to do any more, and I’m pretty sure the dyes are wearing out. We’ll see when I wash these two out…here’s the first one…
I think a lot of the vibrancy will wash out, but it will still be cool. I set up a table in the driveway in the shade, no wind, very nice.
That said, my table is ancient, water-damaged, and heavy as hell. I should replace it with one of those fold-up plastic tables, yeah? First need to find somewhere to dispose of this beast, which is probably 25+ years old.
Then I spent 2 hours painting this one…
Crazy. We’ll see what it looks like. It’s the biggest one I’ve done.
Then I sorted the first 100 pieces, after cleaning up the studio and moving Kitten’s stuff around.
She’s almost 17…and much slower.
Bowie doesn’t leave her alone, so I moved her food and litter tray into here, the smallest room in the house (besides the bathrooms), where I have the most shit, but I can close the door against the teenager who wants to bug her. I can’t get to a chunk of my fabric at the moment unless I move that really old chair with her on it. Sigh. It’s fine. I’m working around her. She’s peacefully sleeping most of the time.
A lot of the Wonder Under was releasing this time, so I have this lovely selection of web that belongs to a piece somewhere.
I started ironing last night…
Dirt and rocks and a little bit of grass under the gravestones.
I also managed to make my Quilt National artist talk video (only 4 tries to get it under time without my staring off into space because I’ve forgotten the plot multiple times). Today, I need to clean up the dye stuff, wash out those two, and pack for leaving tomorrow midday. San Francisco is like 20 degrees cooler than here, so packing is intriguing. Plus two days in hot. It’ll be fine. I’m actually really looking forward to all the art stuff. And the kid. She’s cool, mostly fun to hang with. She probably says the same about me.
I finished one tree at the residency (during Zooms) and started this one. I’ve worked on it a little this week.
I think there are only three left. This is my post-dinner, still watching our show stitching, assuming I don’t need to jump on the stationary bike because my blood sugar is blowing up. Really fun times.
This concerns me. As I age and my partner and parents age…
I’m not worried about 99.9% of the undocumented, except making sure they have food and healthcare and their kids are in school and OK. I realize that makes me woke or liberal or an activist. OK then. I am all those things, because I care about people I don’t even know. And I know that ICE is trying to deport people that we need here. And they’re not qualified, most of them, to do the job they’re doing, as evidenced (evidence y’all!) by their trying to deport children and US citizens and people with green cards who have committed no crimes. Who pay taxes. Dumbassery. But cancer…damn, not paying attention to that? That’s gonna fuck all of us up. Even MAGA. Even Republicans. Maybe especially them because they’re so busy saying it’s the undocumented immigrants causing all their problems that they don’t have time to go to the doctor for those weird symptoms that are actually cancer.
My dad and I had a conversation about socialism the other day. Because what we do here in California is not socialism…it’s capitalism. It’s just capitalism with some empathy for the not-rich, not-white, not-man. Some. Not enough. Ask the mentally ill. Because they don’t get what they need.
Anyway. Sigh. Politics. Always. It’s hard to get away from it. OK. Wash out dye paintings. Clean up dyes. Eat lunch (mouth is still numb; they said an hour, ha! Not even). Talk to diabetes dietician on video call. Go to pilates. Pack. Probably need to do laundry again to do that. Then iron some more. Maybe buy some snacks for travel. Maybe not. When is TSA gonna get rid of the no-liquids over 3 ounces rule? OK great, I can wear my summer flipflops through TSA again instead of going barefoot (that’s a plus), but I want to bring my tea and water without having to search out a drinking fountain and wait in line in a super-expensive drinks line. Maybe that will make me stop wanting the Epstein files released (it won’t…but they can try). By the way, in case it was ever unclear, I think everyone on the Epstein list should be removed from government. EVERYONE. Don’t care how important they are, don’t care what their politics are. Kick them out.
I’m back home. Briefly. Like four days, then gone again. I seem to have squished all my travel into a two-week time period. Like it’s almost not worth unpacking before packing again. Different trips though. For the residency, I needed to take seven thousand modes of artmaking. For visiting my daughter, I can stick to a sketchbook and some stitching. I do want to finish up using the dyes today…I should already be doing that, but I got distracted by things. I am very distractable. Distracted. Possibly distracting.
So here’s the last bit of things from the week at Dorland…this is where I dye painted every day in the morning and the evening, when the wind stopped being a crazy dick.
Sometimes it would pick up again right at 9:30 AM; sometimes it wouldn’t even have died down at 7 PM. I’d get a random 20-mph gust and be holding onto everything. But that was part of the challenge. Get up! Get off the chair, out of bed, and go paint before the wind or the dark comes! I’m having that problem today…no wind to make me move my ass. But I will paint today. As soon as I’m done with this, I’ll go set up the table in the driveway and paint until I run out of prepped fabric and/or dyes. I think I can do another 3 or 4. I like it! I don’t like all of what came out of it, but some of them I LOVE.
This is the last one I painted up there; the dyes washed out a lot (but I don’t have a picture of that yet).
I still love it. I’m going to wash all of them this week in the washing machine, final wash. Then decide what to do with them next.
Here’s these two washed out…I love the different ranges of brown in the top one. It all looked the same before I washed it out.
And the bottom one is perfect! By the way, I finally got test results and contact from Sharp…the test results popped up around midday (yes, I was obsessively checking the goddamned app every hour). Benign! Damage from last year’s surgery, probably from the radio transmitter thing they put in, because it went in in a different location from the surgery. Probably next year’s MRI will show damage from this biopsy. Sigh. Thanks body for inflammation and necrosis.
I also finished the second leg on this thing…
Just needs arms and a head. Not sure when I’ll get to that. I like doing it, but it’s so freakin’ slow. Not that the other methods I use are fast really.
I also tested out some of the other mark-making devices I had around the house. I need to wash these out and see what survives.
Some of those line drawings need color or something.
This view is of the valley during the day.
Oh man, I killed so many spiders in the house, mostly littles, but some bigs. One might have been a scorpion and one was a yick ugh camel spider/wind scorpion, not really either of those. It was under my bag when I moved it, went under the wood stove. Then the leather chair. I was obsessively watching it because it was huge. Went to bed and it moved across the room, under another bag (or worse…there were TWO of them). It was moving sluggishly and then sped the fuck up, when I screamed and brought in the shoe. I was gonna put it outside, but fucking no, not if you are that speedy and aggressive. Apparently it doesn’t have venom though…it just wants to be UNDER. Blech. No pictures. You can google it if you want.
I think this was from Sunset Point, which has a similar view to my porch. Closer to sunset.
There was a need to see the sun set each night. I’m going to be honest and say I never saw it rise. Mornings are not my thing. I did do one hike, but didn’t bring poles, so I didn’t do the whole thing. Probably did a mile and a half. Was strangely paranoid about wild animals and/or falling. Anxiety is a fun thing. It manifests wherever the fuck it wants.
Here was the indoor space when I had multiple projects going. I was in a Zoom or webinar, one project on the porch, a pile of stuff under the table, sewing machine to the left, the beginnings of the woman on the right. It was chaos.
Probably a smaller space wouldn’t have worked for me. I didn’t play with everything, but I did play with a lot of things. It was good; it was nice that it was close enough for me to fill the car with things to try. A longer trip? I’d focus on one type of thing, I think, and probably not the dye painting. It is chemical/supply heavy and a pain in the ass, honestly. It doesn’t mean I won’t do it again. I just am aware of the time suck now.
Once a day, y’all.
Some things from what I was reading over the week…
Drawing boobies whenever you want to. Still Christopher Moore’s Anima Rising.
This is intriguing…
From Rebecca Solnit’s Hope in the Dark.
Terrifying to think of…
More about education…
It’s mind boggling. But true. As is this…
Not my Supreme Court…still.
On fire.
I didn’t consciously know about the poet Andrea Gibson…I don’t follow a ton of poets. Maybe that’s a problem. But their stuff is beautiful.
And the world is less full and rich with their being gone…although their poetry remains.
While I was gone, two artist friends of mine were at the Lubeznik show in Indiana…in front of my work.
Which was cool to see.
I got home and unpacked a lot (not all of it) and cleaned part of the fridge, ironically, because to check out of the cottage, I had to clean it to save the cleaning fee, and I probably worked harder there than I ever do at home. That said, there were some things I pulled out of the cupboard that were sticky and I cleaned them prior to using them. But my fridge at home is mostly gross and I needed to get rid of some stuff, so I did all that. Kitten is now full time closed up in my office, to avoid Bowie interactions. So I’m living with a litter tray and food and water. This will be a little problematic when I need to start ironing tonight, but we’ll manage. She’s seriously old and needs peace. She’s currently on an old office chair and can jump down for what she needs. What she really needs today is a bath. Maybe later.
I also sorted the Wonder Under I finished cutting out up at Dorland…
I was tired after that. I’ll need to do some cleaning in here to be able to work on the next step. I also need to go into the ceramics studio…not sure when that is happening. I’ve got three doc appointments in two days (and one is a root canal, fun times), plus pilates (my hip is looking forward to that). Still trying to figure out the patterns of my blood sugar. Oh! And I need to make a video for Quilt National…I should do that today. Maybe. Maybe I should clean first.
Nova was glad to see me yesterday…
Lots of love. The others too…
OK. Dye painting today. I should shower first. I have pilates later today, but in the middle of the day, like a freak. I need to eat something. Might go straight to eating lunch. I have a headache. Sleep related? Not sure. My hip really hurts for some reason. The weather is weird, all cloudy and delightful. I should take advantage of that. So many things to do! That’s why being gone was so much easier.
Sure I’m never gonna have just one thought. My brain works way too fast in a branching psychosis that may be helpful in some situations, but sometimes ties neurons up in knots and creates flailingness. I’ve been working on art stuff most days for about 4-6 hours on and off, depending on the state of my brain. I should be able to work for 12 hours, right? I do know that pre-COVID, I would spend 6-8 hours on a break day or a Saturday, just working on one piece…but that’s a known process, it’s ironing all the pieces to fabric, it’s cutting things out…the idea already exists, the process is something I’ve done for years. This? Is not. This is fucking around with new ways of making. New ways of thinking and working. Somewhat exhausting. GOOD, but definitely the neurons needs breaks.
Here’s my thought. And it’s one I’ve had before but it is just being reinforced by this week away. I need to do this full time. Well…I first was going to type “more”… but full time is the reality. Nope, the reality is that I can’t afford full time right now. I’m watching a webinar right now where I know these artists are full time…and I don’t know HOW (retired? Partner supports? Independently wealthy?). I am none of those things. I am aiming for the first. The other two are out of reach. That said, I can do more. I think. I say that and then school punches me in the face. Imma punch back this year.
SO. I just posted all these pictures in order of when they were taken using the ancient iPad, and that’s not how I usually write. I usually do it more thematically, but I don’t want to waste two hours like I did Wednesday. So it’s gonna be that way.
The dye paintings have to sit MOIST and DAMP for 24 hours, so I make piles of them in cut-up and taped plastic bags with the dates/times written on them that I painted them, and then I wash them out as I go, more than 24 hours later. I knew that peach would get less orange, but I love that the blue stayed so blue. I love the top one…the bottom one I also love, but it will need some handwork, I think.
I’m trying things out here. On the one hand, I like the thin line I get with the tiny applicator, but it’s hard to draw with on fabric. The thicker ones are easier, but bleed more. But I also want to mess with just color and dye. So this is all trying stuff out.
Scrub jay. It’s loud and visits every evening. Last night, they brought a friend.
I forgot to take a picture of this piece before I covered it; the thin lines dry out really fast and it was in the afternoon, so it was warm and windy and I was afraid it would dry out too much and not set. And I haven’t washed it out yet…so I don’t know whether it set or not. That’s on my list for this afternoon.
Here’s the other line one I did that WAS washed out, although it needs more washout with Synthrapol…there’s a shadow as I let it dry. Obviously, these need color. Or maybe not. I think they do.
I have fabric paints and pencils and pens and a whole host of shit I brought and am not going to get to try. I overplanned. Wait, I always do that. It’s not a surprise. The Man is coming to visit today through tomorrow, and I’m going to send some stuff home with him, because I’m either done with it (threadpainting) or I’m not going to get to it (ceramics, probably paints & pens & pencils…still thinking about that). Once he leaves, I don’t have much time left anyway…just Saturday afternoon and evening. Sunday is mostly packing and cleaning.
This one…I love this one. I outlined with a thin brush, not the applicator. Still a pain, but less than the applicator. Then painted. The color, the orange, a lot will wash out. but I still love this.
Once you mix the dye paste, it’s hard to know how long it will last. One book says 5 days; the other says “keep track as you work so you know”. Um. Well. This was yesterday morning, and I mixed all the dye paste on Monday (took forever because of the wind). I think today is day 5. I still have a bunch of paste left, though, so I might just keep going and assume they’ll get more pastel with time? It really is just a matter of how much of it washes out. I have a shit ton more fabric. And a lot less wind at home. And a few days off before school starts. Actually, there are a million doc appointments in three days, and then I leave for San Francisco and the girlchild and more looking at art. I love this for me!
I read Christopher Moore’s new book, Anima Rising. It was great. Lots of art and cultural and literary references.
I love Sedna.
This is either the same alligator lizard that was on the door or another one (I think it’s a bigger one, honestly). NATURE!
Luckily, this one was outside. With the snake and the squirrel and the fox and the ravens and the owl. But NOT the spiders. I’ve killed 5 so far, 4 of them giant ugly grass spiders who survive multiple shoe whacks, and one bit me while I was asleep (not the grass spider; something smaller and bitier)…on my NECK. Freaked out by that. And yet, I continue to walk around barefoot. I did leave out the spider-killing shoe though…as a warning?
I was on two Zooms yesterday, one where an artist explained how she bought a church and remodeled it to be living space and studio (not happening here in San Diego…Susan Lenz, in case you’re interested) and one was my local SAQA meeting, with a presentation by another artist (Angela Jean). Both were interesting, but I couldn’t focus on anything else, so I embroidered the…is this June?…block of Sue Spargo’s Rooted. Finished this one…
And started July. Here’s the setup where I’m working on the female figure. I thought I might work on that, but apparently the brain can’t listen with intent AND make art with intent.
I need to edit some of these photos, but I might have to go back to the iPad for that, OR leave them be. Frustrating process. Not sure why I can’t do it on the app here.
Here are these two washed out. I love the top one. The brown washed out but still looks great. I can quilt this and it’s done. The bottom one…well, I loved it when I painted it, but I used the thicker bottle applicators and it bled like crazy…which doesn’t work for this. I’ll have to decide whether to fix it somehow? Or chalk it up to practice and make a cat blanket.
This one I think will wash out well…the browns have a lot more colors in them that will show up after the washout. I had a plan, but then accidentally dropped dye in some places I didn’t originally have dye…
A learning experience. I did this one last night. It was dry and the wind kept picking up randomly. There were storm clouds floating around, but nothing stuck…until the 5 seconds of rain at midnight or so.
I just take lots of sky pictures…weird for someone who isn’t really a landscape artist. The sky is way more complicated in person.
In the afternoon and evening, I worked on this. OMG this is so time consuming. I guess I didn’t come up here to find faster ways to make art. This is with 9 hours in.
I get one section pinned and then stitch it all down (by hand…that may be part of the issue, but hand stitching doesn’t make things as flat as machine, and that’s what I want). I had to add another section to the bottom to accommodate the feet. I still need to work on the lower legs and then the arms, and goodness, she might need a head. So it’s not getting done here. But I like it. It needs a lot more. Also, I so did not need to bring two giant boxes of fabric for this. But I ran out of time to edit fabrics.
So yesterday was business day 6 of not hearing back on the boob biopsy. I called in the morning and they said all the things, I found out that my doc IS on vacation this week (she’s allowed), and I asked for the sub doc to call back or something. The nice man (who is a man and maybe doesn’t understand boob anxiety) said “oh I’ll send a message and they’ll answer in another 3-5 business days”. OMFG. I explained that I’d already waited that long. I have an appointment with my doc next Tuesday anyway, but I really don’t want to wait another however many business days to hear. Did I hear yesterday? Nope. Nothing. Kept my phone on all day, nothing but fire warnings. SIGH FUCKING SIGH. So this morning, I wake up, slowly, and I check my email while trying to get functional enough to do another dye painting, and Sharp sent an email that new test results were released, check the app, and my heart races until I get the app opened…and there’s nothing. No new results. No letter. No message. Nothing. Fuckers.
So I painted this.
The wind picked up, but I think I got my point across. It’s not even the correct boob, but I don’t care. And then I sat through an art webinar that told me I needed to quit my job and make art full time. Ha! It didn’t actually SAY that; I just thought it afterwards.
OK. So I’m still boob anxious. Betting that doesn’t change today. I need a walk, I think. I need to wash out like three things? I think. Maybe two. I have a meet and greet tonight with the other people here. Need to bring an example of my work. Ha! I need to clean up and organize a bit so the Man has a place to sit. I need to work on the lower legs of that other piece. Oh shit, I drew last night too…apparently that picture didn’t come over. Let me see if I can do it on the phone (how many devices do I need to post one thing???).
Answer: three devices, because two of them suck. Well, they all suck in some way, or I wouldn’t need more than one. Original post started on ancient iPad, added most photos there. Saved draft. Typed most of words on laptop. I am old school. I am also old. It’s just easier to type with a real keyboard than hunt and peck. Edited photos and added the drawing photo on the phone…too small for typing.
Walk, then eat lunch, read book, then clean up. Wait. Check Find My app to see if the Man left already. Nope, he’s in the bedroom (scary, huh? He’s actually probably in the bathroom.). So I have at least 90 minutes before he gets here. Then wash out any dye painting that’s more than 24 hours out. Then do other things. Art things. Maybe talk to a human today. I haven’t in a few days. Except on Zoom and the phone with Sharp. OK. Do the things.
Oh yeah. Again. Lost days. I can’t remember WHY yesterday was a lost day, but it was. It wasn’t. I did things. I might not remember what I did, but I did things.
The current quilt: I’m trimming Wonder Under…
It’s remarkably slow.
I’ve made it halfway as of last night…
And it’s taken almost 5 hours. There’s two more yards to cut out. Just a lot of smaller complicated pieces. I won’t finish before I go on my residency. I’ll probably take the remainder with me, just as brainless filler. Along with other things. All the things.
I met with friends on Thursday and did some stitching on this…
I worked on it last night too, and it’s almost done. I’m taking it with me next week too. Like I said; I’m taking everything. Just moving the whole stash up to the cottage and then bringing it all back. Not really. But it kinda feels that way.
I thought I had finished all this until I was packing it up and realized the gun on the tank is not glazed.
In reality, I’m gone for a week and we’ll see where it’s at when I get back. This hand has broken off more times than I can say…it’s slightly lower than the board and the board doesn’t fully support it.
Stupidity on my part. Hopefully it will survive the next week. I am taking some clay with me…one thing that’s formed that I started carving into like three months ago. Another slab of clay to make something else to carve. I need to make the wet box today for that.
The girlchild is here for a long weekend. She cooked us dinner last night, but there is always time for Simba.
He likes it.
I screenshot this because I like it…
I actually have been trying not to use the word beautiful to describe people or smiles or eyes or hair or whatever. I’m not perfect at that though. But yeah, beautiful is not something I’ve ever been…and I’m OK with that. Or pretty honestly. And right now, I have another hole in my boob and an allergic rash from the adhesive patch and a scratch from Kitten. Oh, and acne at age 58! Ah well. I forgot to wash my face one night. So there we are.
Today. Today is packing and organizing and trying to be ready to leave tomorrow. Plus an art opening down in San Ysidro. And getting the office ready so Kitten can be in here without my carrying her out to the litter tray and food 5 times a day (yes, that is what I am doing at the moment.). Hopefully next week, I’ll be able to get lots of fun things done. And maybe blog on time (it’s my schedule, so it’s on time is what I say it is.). And maybe just be an artist for a week. I food prepped yesterday to help with that. I don’t need to think about what food; I just need food. Yeah. Looking forward to this, even though I am also anxious about it. That’s how the brain works. Art brain is racing forwards and the rest of my brain is trying to make sure there’s enough fabric. And it’s scoured. Crazy, right?
Well hello. I don’t know what day it is. Don’t ask me. I know my art residency is coming up soon and I should be maybe panicking more about packing for that. Although I’ve been collecting shit in piles for days. There needs to be more though. Really. Really? Welcome to my brain.
The Man says I can’t call this a waste of a day. Even though really nothing is getting done, it’s a day when a thing needed to happen, which is why I am currently strapped up in three Ace bandages with an ice pack on my boob. Fun times. I got less than four hours of sleep last night and then had a needle stabbed from the left side of my left breast all the way across to my cleavage. Also, I’m fascinated by the word ‘lavage’. It has such a nice sound for what it actually is. And I had an official ‘boob holder’ nurse who kept pressure on the bleeding hole while I walked across and through a waiting area and a hallway and another desk area to a lying-down place (it had a name), where she continued to squeeze my boob as we talked about school and art and her kids. I wish I could tell you I remember her name, but I don’t. The bleeding did stop. Eventually. I don’t remember the last biopsy being this annoying…it also wasn’t over 90 degrees out and I probably had more sleep. I slept on the couch through the middle of the day and then all of a sudden, it was 4:30 PM. Girlchild is coming tonight. I need to deal with her room, the compostable trash, and dinner. It’s fine. I’m fine. I’m annoyed by the compression bandage (who wouldn’t be?)…it’s uncomfortable and hot and itchy. That said, they found a thing they didn’t like and now they have sampled it and hopefully it is nothing and if it is something, then that boob will get a second scar, and it’s a good thing I didn’t get around to tattooing the first one, because they will be dueling scars. SIGH. Fucking huge sigh. Science is good. Really. Also, I found the acetaminophen (yeah, I knew I spelled that wrong, flipped the a and the o)…so pain relief! Well, no, because honestly, aceta…fuck…Tylenol doesn’t do much for me. Tomorrow! I can remove the 17 Ace bandages and take real meds.
So. Art. I have two openings this weekend, which is awesome. I posted about Infinite Rivers down in San Ysidro before; I will be at that opening (5-7 PM), and I know I’ve mentioned the Lubeznik show, Women to the Front: Artworks from the Sara M. and Michelle Vance Waddell Collection, but they sent installation pictures…so here’s those.
There’s my piece The Way Out in the center. And there it is again.
This is an amazing show.
Lots of cool people in there.
More installation photos…
Another one…
Another one…
And another…
More…
Looks like an awesome show. Wish I could check it out. Couldn’t figure out how to get there and see it without spending a million bucks, plus I had the residency and the other opening.
I finally finished tracing…
It was 17 1/2 hours total…
Bowie is so not helpful…it’s 4 yards…
Time to trim. Obviously not getting to the ironing before I go on the residency.
I finished making this a solid rectangle.
I’m not sure how I feel about it…I think I will be embroidering it. Words I think. It needs a good solid ironing too. Maybe tonight.
Maybe something about this idiot.
Maybe I’m confused by why you would need to advertise the baby, put the baby in a vehicle that has so many recalls, drive such an ugly stupid vehicle and then put this ugly stupid sticker on it? Ah well, they probably feel the same about my bird-poop-covered car with its National Park stickers.
This is too real. I have a piece of wall in the hallway that’s needed to be painted for over a year. I thought I had bought a roller for it but can’t find it…so I bought another one.
Sigh. But haven’t painted it yet (just bought the new roller yesterday though).
This is mind-boggling…
My Medicaid household member has a workers’ comp back injury. How is that gonna work? Are they going to drive him to wherever he needs to work? Are there farmers near here for that? Are they going to house the babies, children, and elderly who will be doing that work? The disabled? Absolutely so insensitive and idiotic.
Luna has toe beans to show you…
The heat takes it out of the animals too…
Poor Simba. His boy is gone again. No long-term fires yet though. Knock on wood. There was one down here, heard all the helicopters and sirens and got all the warnings on multiple phone apps. It’s under control now…stopped forward progress. It was heading for one of our local hiking spots. Gotta stop it (also houses, so there’s that).
OK. I usually would now tell you all the things I’m going to do today. I am feeling more human finally, although ready to rip these Ace bandages off…ugh. I might get some fabric pulls together for next week. I might read my book some more. I might drink more tea. Feed the dog, deal with trash, make dinner, go get girlchild. Oh shit, finish cleaning up her room. Gonna go do that now. So out of it…
Hello Monday. I am, as always, not prepared for your existence. And yet, you arrive. With emails. And a to-do list. I finally managed to cross one thing off my to-do list that has been on there for probably 6 months. Impressive. I’m going to do a few more today. Maybe. Because sometimes I only get one thing done. And the quick start I wanted for the morning did not happen. Ah well. Typical.
It was a slow weekend. I mean, not really…but in terms of a diary of what I did, I got a scratch on the back of my leg from a stabby pot and a scratch/divot on my finger from IDK what plant did that. And bites…buggy/spidery/skeetery bites. I got those. I spent too much time watching flood stuff in Texas. We all did, right? Horrifying. Not preventable, but certainly we could be doing more than we are right now…increasing climate crap plus warning systems. I’m boggled by where the blame goes. I’m boggled by a lot lately. Humans don’t do what’s in their best interests.
The Man had a show on Saturday night downtown. I rode the trolley down and read my book the whole way, as the soccer fans filled up the trolley, and then all got off at the stadium. The band is trialing with a new singer, who actually sings for another band.
It was different. They opened for another band. There weren’t as many people there as usual (day after a major holiday). We ended up having to stay really late to get back. It was fine; I read a lot of my book before and after they played. Not sure what it all means for the future of the band.
I traced for about 3 hours on Saturday and another 90 minutes last night. Those are hot cats on Saturday afternoon…
And Bowie not helping last night…
He stabbed the planet Jupiter (the drawing) and then tried to eat the corner. He’s not the first cat to do so. Nova ate a piece out of a drawing a few years back. I do cover things up when I’m not tracing, because they are excited by paper and want to destroy it.
I have filled two yards of Wonder Under and started on a third.
I’m in the low 900s, so about 450 pieces to go. I’ve been tracing for 11 1/2 hours. Yikes. It’s been slow. I’m hoping to do a goodly chunk today and tomorrow. It’s supposed to get a lot warmer in a few days. Don’t want to be sitting in the window/hottest part of the house then. Although trimming will just be on the couch.
It’s a busy week. Need to clean up the girlchild’s room because she’s coming to visit. I’ve been collecting materials for next week’s residency. I have another breast biopsy on Wednesday…hoping to have negative results before the weekend (they were fast before), but no guarantees. I need to shop for food and do food prep before the residency. I have an art opening on Saturday night. I’d like to get to the gym; I have two pilates classes scheduled, but I’m waitlisted on both. OK, it doesn’t sound busy, but that biopsy will eat up time and energy. Mentally and physically.
Trying to read nonfiction from Rebecca Solnit in between fiction, which is where my brain prefers to be…
And this is what will get me through all the stupid shit my country is continuing to do. And it’s why I make art. Well, that and my sanity.
Here’s the owl hanging out on the pole under the box…
This is dad. There are two babies I can hear. They’re loud this year. And we haven’t even gotten to the part where they come out and practice flying. It’s all good. Just glad to have them back.
Today. Finish strapping the three sprinklers to rebar (fun times). Create a wet box for ceramic stuff. TAKE A DAMN SHOWER (I do that every day, but sometimes it’s hot enough that I need two). Go to ceramics and attach that damn hand again. Sew up the boychild’s pants (they just went in the washer). Trace for a few hours. Read a few books. Go try to find my deodorant at a different store (the only one I’m not allergic to at the moment, knock on wood). There’s probably more things on the to-do list that aren’t here, but many of them are overwhelming so I just do a bit at a time. Which is fine. Pretty much need to get my act in gear though. Like now.
I really hate my ironing board. I would like a new one, one that doesn’t have sharp metal feet that grab my toes. One that is stable and doesn’t threaten to fall over. That said, when I’ve tried to find ironing boards in the past, they’re even more tippy and unstable than this one…this one was my grandmother’s, I think. It’s ancient. I put a heavy board on top that I use for ironing quilts together, because I need a larger space. At the moment, I have to move it around a lot because I’ve been trying to clean up in here and it’s problematic…I can’t put fabric on one shelf where it used to be, because one of two cats keeps peeing on it. I’m pretty sure it’s the old lady, but it might be the teenaged boy…they regularly are vying over the space. Probably the old lady. I even had piled some towels up that I was using to cover the fabric bins there, and then she peed on those. So. Yeah. I’m having to store bins on the floor and this room is not very big anyway…with two desks, a table, three bookshelves, a computer, a sewing machine, and all my fabric (well, not really ALL my fabric…that’s funny), it’s just crowded. The ironing board is always open and I move it around for what/where I need to use it. And every time I search for a new one, I get sidetracked by options and reviews and can’t make a decision. Because there isn’t an ironing board store I can go to and look at them (OMG I am old), so I have to do it all online, and the thought of trying to return an ironing board makes me break out in hives. So there’s that. But we might be there.
So the stupid stuff, eh? Overwhelming. But I could focus on the big fat ugly bill or Alligator Alcatraz and why we think it’s OK to treat HUMANS that way or the campers missing in Texas after the floods (look! God took the white Christian girls! See, it’s not any better, is it? It doesn’t matter what the kids look like or where they come from…it’s not OK.). Sigh. Certainly didn’t do much celebrating yesterday. My country is broken. OK, it always was broken. Now it’s just more in your face about it. So I’m trying to live my tiny life in the middle of all that. Plus this week, the Man will hear about a job (yes please) and I have a biopsy (ugh) and the girlchild is coming to visit (yay) and I need to pack for my residency (yikes). It’s not the chillest week in the world. My response to that is to read more books. And try to clean and fix more things. With the help of the Ex, the sprinklers are now back up and running. I tried but there needed to be more things fixed than the one I did (it was a valve). The two sprinklers that really weren’t working were totally corroded inside (ah, hard water)…so replacing those (and blowing all the dirt through the system) helped immensely.
This was a big achievement. I’ve had this on my list for months. I replaced one thing and then nothing worked. Sigh. I tried to patch the gap on the deck too, but I couldn’t get the caulk to move. Might just be too old? Frustrating though. So I think I’m going to Home Depot later. Fun times. I ran some errands on Thursday (waited until rush hour like an idiot) and ran into a former student, a not-pleasant reminder of him. I had totally blocked him and his entitlement and his annoying parents (mom mostly) from my mind, and now I need to reblock him. It’s OK. He’s a kid. Even as an adult, I won’t need to deal with him…and maybe he’ll get a clue by then. He’s smart, just spoiled.
So artwise, I’ve been sort of efficient. I’ve made it to the ceramics studio more times than usual, which is good.
A bunch of stuff fell/broke (I think it gets bumped on the shelf) and I had to fix a lot, but I got the greens done. Went back yesterday and reattached and reglazed stuff that broke, but that damn hand broke off again.
I’m close though. Almost there. Honestly, it’s glazed except for the flagpole and reglazing all the broken stuff.
I just need to finish it and get it in the kiln. Like this week. Hopefully.
I pinbasted my Sue Spargo Folk Tails, which has been done since 2020? I think? Seriously.
Mostly I hadn’t done it yet because I wanted to finish the bird one first (the bigger one) before stashing a bunch of safety pins in something that would just sit in a pile for a while. It’s a challenge to quilt this…mostly because I need to go AROUND everything. Not hard, just a pain. So it’s next on my list to finish this summer. But before I do that, I’m trying to piece together the improv piece I did on Zoom with Irene Roderick…
It’s all these random shapes that need to fit together, and then I need to make it into a rectangle shape. So I worked on that yesterday. I have it all in three pieces at the moment, with a freaking Y seam (not the first). Almost there. This is so not my style, and I realized at Quilt National that all the Irene people’s quilts look similar, so I’m deciding how to make it mine. I’m trying to finish this so I can take the design board on my residency next week. Whatever gets it done, right? I could probably finish putting the top together today.
Then I cut out all the wool/cotton bits for the side borders of Homegrown (another Spargo…yeah, I enjoy making them), pinned them on, and am slowly stitching them all down. I won’t get this one done in 2025. Bet.
The embroidery will take forever and then I’ll put it in a pile for a year or two before deciding to quilt it. Let’s be real. It’s not about the finished product; it’s totally about the making.
In art quilt news, I’m still tracing Wonder Under…
The dirt was a lot of big pieces, and then I had a bunch of little pieces that fit in between all those big pieces.
I tried a bund of people and then started tracing gravestones. Right when those dumbasses passed a bill kicking a ton of real live people off Medicare. Including one I live with…yeah, it won’t take effect until after the November elections, and hopefully he’ll have a job by then, but there’s a lot of people who can’t work or can’t find work. So we aren’t taking care of people any more unless they’re so rich they don’t really need to worry about it.
Last night, I made it into the low 600s…of 1366.
Not even halfway. I was hoping to be done with tracing today, but I would have had to be way more focused than I have been for that to happen. So maybe that’s the other thing I’m doing today. I’m still only on the second yard of Wonder Under…lots of small pieces to drive me nuts later.
My little quilt made it to my SIL for her birthday.
I love the location.
I lost the dog in the ferns…he likes to pee in there.
Really, this is yet another part of the yard I need to control. Ha! This yard is beyond my ability. I’d need a gardener and even then…
I found these guys (screamed a little because a bunch were on my shirt) while trimming shit.
They become some kind of beetle. But for now, they are in the greenery trash can.
I saw this…and yes, I feel like I need that but also, no I’m not doing that.
I’m putting it here for when I’m really old and retired and maybe bored (will I ever be bored?). That dissociative state is looking nice.
Although honestly, making art helps with that. And it’s too hot for sweatpants, but the other night, I found myself tracing Wonder Under with shorts and a tank top on, but also fuzzy socks, because my feet were cold. Love old body. It’s so inconsistent.
This.
So frustrating. Incredibly.
Simba after three hours of fireworks on THURSDAY night (not even the 4th, y’all). He barked the entire time. And I was tracing stuff, so I wasn’t making him feel safe.
Last night, he was better…only a little. Mostly because the boychild was back. For how long? We never know. His sister is coming to visit, so if previous years are anything to go by, he’ll be sent to some fire this week.
This is amazing. This is Liberty Bleeds by Niki McQueen.
I wish I had enough wall space for her work (it’s available as posters to benefit the ACLU)…it reminds me of my own stuff, the cutting open part.
I think Nova is the big softie that both Luna and Bowie turn to for love and safety.
Luna is so paranoid. And it’s hot, so it’s funny when they curl up together, because I’m like, don’t fucking touch me, it’s hot. And yet there’s always a cat or a dog (or both) next to me.
This is always true.
So yeah. I think I already decided I’m piecing things and tracing things today. The Man has a show tonight downtown, so I’m probably riding the trolley down and then getting a ride back. Their regular lead singer has ‘quit’ (we hope not permanently), so they’re borrowing a singer from another band. Should be interesting. Luckily they are the opening band, so it’s not a midnight thing. I’m too old for that stuff? That’s a lie; I happily stay up past midnight doing art things. I just don’t like mornings. My goal for the week? Be chill. Stay chill. Make the things. Find the supplies for next week. So excited for next week. Meal planning now. And making sure I have materials. I don’t want to get up there and realize I need one chemical I left at home. Inevitably I will forget something though. Truth. 33 days until school. I can’t find a countdown timer that works with the iphone widget or whatever they’re calling it now. Frustrating. That and the ironing board problem are an issue for another day though. Right now, I need to eat, shower, and do some stuff that refills the cup. Or something. Finds the spoons.
Sitting here waiting for health insurance chat to answer. So much wait time with health stuff. That’s not going to get better. And I’m glad to have insurance. Health stuff is stressful. Time-consuming. Expensive. Crucial. It’s so easy for some people to say, well get a job, then you’ll get healthcare…not always true, not always possible. My household includes someone who’s been trying to get a job with physical restrictions for over a year, and it’s not as easy as J.D. Vance and his compatriots think it is. People with disabilities who may need support at work; they just don’t get interviews, or they get one and then get ghosted. It’s stressful for all of us to see that and live with it. But hey, we’re not rich, so we don’t matter. We’re gonna die anyway. The politicians…sigh…I mean, at least Lisa Murkowski was honest about doing what’s best for Alaskans, but in doing so, fucked the rest of us. The rest of those who voted for that bill? What is wrong with them? Some complain and then vote for it anyway? And now the government is refusing to send all the education money that Congress allocated. As someone in a Title I school, where kids live in a variety of not-great situations, I’m worried; no that’s not a big enough word for what they’re doing to kids, to families who struggle, to anyone of color. I don’t get it. I’m scared by it. Worried is not a big enough word.
So in all that, I make art. And try to get control of my diabetes. And worry about the things growing in my boob. And worry about my cat…she’s old and not doing well, especially with the heat. Worry about my job. New boss. The damn sprinklers. How to paint the shed when one wall is right against a chainlink fence. Obviously need to make more art, exercise more.
Finished numbering.
Did you guess? I guessed 1500 based on where I was and how much was left. I was wrong…it’s 1366…
Give or take a few, because I always miss something or double number something. Not a ton, but a lot. A goodly amount. I could have filled the sky in and got more, but I kind of didn’t want to. So I didn’t.
Last night, I started tracing…
I’ll be there for a while. Like 12 more hours probably. Which is fine. I’d like to get myself to a place where I’m tracing for more than an hour a day, but so far, there’s been too much other stuff to do. I spent the last two days planning with my science partner, about 8 hours total. It looked a lot like this…
Well, and there was other stuff, but this is the only picture I took, and I took it because I realized when I moved all the files, I wouldn’t be able to find them in all the other files because most of them had illogical names. I can delete this picture now. THIS IS THE ONLY PLACE IT WILL EXIST.
Anyway, I’d like to say that my 8 hours (it was more than that; I did some at home too) of unpaid work was all I needed to do for school this summer, but that’s not true. We’re meeting again in August. We did well, but my late August/September self will be happier if I do a bit more specific shit. But not today. Today, I need to go to the ceramics studio and underglaze. I know I broke something on Friday. I felt it. Like every fucking time, I’m breaking shit. Sigh. And there will probably be a bunch of people there, but I couldn’t handle going the last two afternoons…I was so braindead after working, so I didn’t go. Oops. Oh well.
That political shit again.
And the amount they want to spend on ICE? Just terrorizing people who are actually trying to be legal and paying taxes and all that shit? Who aren’t committing crimes? So fucked up.
Attempting to ignore the political crap is impossible. I can hide in art, but my art is also political, so it’s not always hiding in a non-stressful way. Ah well. I can try to eat better and make art and clean the house and take care of the cat and paint the shed. I mean, that might be all I really can do at the moment. And I know that should be OK, but it’s not. Not for the planet or the country. OK. Going to ceramics…soon. Then I’ll just do what I can.
I know, I know, I’m writing super late. I worked this morning. And afternoon. And I didn’t want to get up super early, so I got the photos resized for the post and that was it. And then I did more work when I got home. So here I am, remembering I was supposed to write today. Which pretty much sums up Summer Break for a teacher. Yes, I did teacher stuff today. My co-teacher and I usually try to plan during the summer, just to get a handle on things we want to change for next year. Sometimes we get paid, but we aren’t this year. I think. Who knows? New principal. No one has a clue what’s going on. We’re backwards planning to make sure we have time to teach natural selection and evolution, the last unit, and then revising the first two units…three units. Well, we’re not gonna get all that done in two 4-hour sessions, for sure. But we’ll have a pretty good start.
So the weekend…I worked on the drawing…finishing up the bottom part on Friday night.
Mostly anyway. Then Saturday evening, I put some planets in the sky…
Bowie was absolutely no help.
Last night, I finished up some stuff around the planets and called it done, although I may change my mind about that tonight.
And then I started numbering, but I didn’t finish.
I knew I had to get up in the morning, so staying up until 2 AM writing numbers would be a bad plan, right? Don’t ask Summer Brain…they’re like all in with Art Brain and don’t give a shit that I can’t sleep in. So I was going to finish numbering this afternoon and totally that hasn’t happened. But maybe after I finish this.
I also finished the binding and sleeves on this during my local SAQA Zoom meeting…
Shitty picture, I know. Ah well. Need a place to hang it up now.
On Saturday, I also finished a present for my SIL…in October or so last year, to test the new Wonder Under, I made a small flying heart. She saw in online and asked for it for Christmas, but like finished, you know. A thing. So I said yes and then promptly lost it. I didn’t really lose it. I hung it up in my studio/office and then hung a drawing up in front of it, so I couldn’t see it and forgot it was there. For like three months. I found it in January when I took the drawing down…not right away though…it took me a few weeks before I saw it. Then I figured, oh, I’ll give it to her for her July birthday, so instead of making something out of it like right then (like a sane person), I procrastinated until Saturday and then finished it.
I mailed it today. It’ll be late. Ah well.
Saturday was also the wedding of a coworker to one of my former students. Weird, huh? Here’s all the teachers…
The bride is younger than my daughter. I’m laughing because Stace is grabbing my ass. She’s smirking in the back. We did not all plan to wear blue and green. Seriously.
And here’s one of my former 7th graders, now a nice young man who cried during the ceremony, making him one of my favorite guys forever.
Seriously…raise your boys to be able to cry at emotional events.
I did some ceramics stuff on Friday…more painting.
I keep breaking things off dammit. So I’m trying to get it all underglazed before more breaks. Not sure when I’m going in again. Tomorrow? Hopefully…if I’m not as braindead as I was today after lesson planning for four hours.
That’s too true.
I love this.
There’s so much negative shit out there right now. I love the little bits of fuck off I see happening. Because I just got my measles booster because of that idiot.
OK, normally this is where I’d say what I’m doing for the rest of the day, but it’s 6 PM and I just fed the dog. I might go do some yardwork because it’s cooled off a little. I did some digging (against the gophers) yesterday. Need more gravel to fix what they did. Sigh. Should probably water first. I’ll be numbering shit tonight and then hopefully starting to trace. It would be nice if I was done with tracing and trimming by Monday, and then ironed to fabric by the time I leave for my residency. Taking stuff to trim is always a good thing. I can’t think beyond that. I want to finish my book? Probably not happening tonight. But soon. Oh I entered a residency for next summer…hopeful?! I think that’s it. It seems like enough, doesn’t it?
Kathy Nida 