Category: Art

May Art Sustain Us…

Weird frame of mind. I don’t have a clear idea of what art I’m working on next, which is hard for me. So I’m trying to get that taken care of in the next day or so. Plus I’m realizing I have to go back to school…I ignored school for almost a week and then I couldn’t any more. I graded the last of the big unit yesterday, so I just have one really short and easy assignment to do next week. The bigger deal next week is planning for the rest of this unit and as much of the next one as I can get through. I keep waking up in the middle of the night and my brain is trying to plan things that give me some down time in class. Please give me more time. I’ve been just slotting assignments in without thinking about how demanding they are on ME…and I need to try to fix that. Best I can. So that’s next week.

Artwise, I took all my smaller sketchbooks (not the super smalls, but the 9x12s) to the copy store after skimming through and tagging some I thought would work. I copied 11 drawings at 250%…

I started at 200%, but the pieces were too small. Then I started cutting and taping them together, numbering them as I went.

Takes about 12-22 minutes a drawing, depending on how fussy the pieces are.

Then I stared at them and tried to decide what to do. These are all just random drawings, mostly while camping or traveling, some during the Winter Break Draw-a-Day things I like to do (no time this year). So they don’t have a purpose or a theme to them, which is fine. I think of them as practice for the real stuff, but although I feel like I just finished some really complicated stuff (still recovering from the Supreme Court quilt), I can’t just do a light, easy quilt right now. And most of these roll in that realm. Not really light, but not really purposeful. So I picked this top one (of the 11) and added paper to the bottom…which is where I’ll add some purpose. Whatever that is. I have some ideas, just not fully formed.

That said, we’re taking this weekend off in the mountains, not camping (it’s raining and cold), but a little Airbnb with some hiking and nature. A reset. Of sorts. Might need one a month to get through the rest of the school year, but that’s not an option financially. Ah well. This should be nice. Hoping. I am taking the drawing (and two more sketchbooks) with me. And books. And stitching.

I got all the embroidery done on this (mom did the majority…I just did the little in-between bits).

When we get back, I’ll put borders on it and sew the little snowflake circles (we’re not doing all of them), then hand it back to her for embroidery.

This year has been difficult. There hasn’t been enough time to make art, and I hate that. I managed to stop thinking about work for a few days, which was good, but yesterday’s run through town to donate fabric, books, and clothes seemed to let the work back in my brain. Not good. I’m trying to make some positive changes in the next half of the school year, though, and hoping the next school year is better, but I’m counting on nothing at this point. I remember drawing every week. I remember making art almost every weekend. I just need more of that. An hour a night isn’t enough. Keeping that in mind…

Here’s my tree, which is already undecorated and back outside, so it can (1) enjoy the rain and (2) not be eaten by Kitten, who keeps throwing up the needles. Sigh.

It’ll be the New Year when I’m back…so happy new year to all, if that’s how you roll. If not, happy weekend. May art sustain us, however we take it in or push it out.

Protective

In-between days. I finished the quilt last night. I’m in that weird space between quilts that I hate. I don’t like having the next one ready to go. It freaks me out. No down time! No worries; I have a bunch of drawings tagged; just need time later today to go make some copies and then make some decisions. It’s a pro to have so many pieces out at shows or sold, but it makes it hard to enter new shows. And the day job is really not conducive to my finding MORE time for artmaking at the moment…unfortunately. I’m debating one show, trying to finish something for it. Ugh. Still thinking. Hence the headache, probably.

I did most of the binding and sleeve stitching on Tuesday night…just binge-watched stuff.

Walked away for 5 minutes and Nova landed.

I’m waiting to hear back from the photographer. For this show, I could take a half-assed picture and enter it, luckily. So I might need to do that. We’ll see.

Maybe take a picture of the WHOLE quilt, not folded over. So that was the 5th quilt for the year. Sigh. The previous year, I only hit 6 because I did a super tiny one that only took 9 hours in the last few days of the year. Seriously, the last 3-plus years of school have really sucked time away from the artmaking. It’s so frustrating. I keep trying to pull time back, give me more time to make (and sleep and clean and honestly just function) and the job just pulls back. I already know January is bad. It makes me cry. I just finished an art fellowship application, and they asked about how the money would help, and this is it…I need to retire. Not this year. But soon. Because it’s not fair to Art Brain to be working less and less on art because this country is taking more and more teacher time. So yes, the brain is trying to figure out how to make the rest of the school year easier, how to protect ME time, and I don’t have a solution. Let’s hope I find one.

I’m still working on Mom’s Tinsel quilt…got most of the extra embroidery done, hopefully done today, then borders on, then circles on, then hand it back to her. Then get the other quilt done for Barbara. Plus figure out what I’m doing next. I seem to be ignoring school right now. I’m gonna have to stop ignoring it soon. Tomorrow is the day I get all the donations done and delivered. Then the Man and I have two days of no work, although art is allowed, reading is allowed, games and puzzles are allowed.

Dropped the girlchild at the airport yesterday. She went to Texas (friends) for New Year’s, then back home to San Francisco.

I told her I wanted to visit when her SO was there so I could meet him. So that’s in 2024. Death Valley might be in 2024. It’s hard to plan until the Man can get a job, but he got more treatment approved by his doctor today, so hopefully this will solve it and he can get back to work. So much stress around the holidays this year.

For me, the rest of today is three Zoom calls, one with a naturopath, which I’m looking forward to helping me with blood sugar etc; one with one set of stitching friends, where hopefully I’ll get those Mom and Barbara things further on the road to done; and the last with another set of stitching friends. Who knows what I’ll be doing by then. I think pilates is in the middle of all that. It’s a weirdly busy day in between pajama days. I think I need to trim all those tree bits the boychild cut down and get them into bins today too. Yikes. Deep breaths. I don’t see peace in 2024 yet. I see me as the Hulk, standing protectively in front of my art and my time, growling at anyone or anything that tries to mess with me. I guess that’s a thing. Sorta like this…

Yeah, I can see that. Don’t mess with me? I wish it were that easy. I saw this video of a young elementary school teacher ‘showing’ how we could reduce our work week to 43 hours. Yeah, she used her prep period…the one I rarely get. Sigh. Making more tea. Being protective.

We Do Our Best…

Well I’m off by a day again. Christmas seems a good excuse. I probably could have written this yesterday in between things, but I did other things instead. It’s all about choices, right? I’m the one who makes my rigid schedule, and there’s good reasons for it…it makes me write, but I’m also the one who can revise it at will. Besides, this is the floofy part of the year that has no purpose and no actual days of the week. Except for the one when the trash company picks up. You should know that one. And if you have to donate stuff by the end of the year, you should realize that is coming. And if you are trying to take advantage of some special sale deal thingie, they probably are up by now. Too late. So sad.

The holidays are days of chaos, no matter what your choices, I think. So Friday night, I picked up one friend and her kid from the airport and went out to dinner with them. I’ll see them next December probably. They live far away and I don’t get to travel much: money, time, all that. I kept quilting Friday afternoon and night…

And Saturday morning and evening…

Then Christmas Eve, I trimmed her…

Before we went to that party. I was wearing the outfit below, but with knee pads.

That was the Man’s holiday party. Then after Christmas night’s dinner, I put the binding on…

Hand sewing tonight and tomorrow…emailed photographer now. There’s a deadline on this one. So many have deadlines.

I managed to get all the applique pieces on this and started the embroidery at last night’s event.

We’re changing up the borders. I needed mom to cut a bunch of tiny circles. She has a machine and dies for that, which she brought to Christmas dinner…like you do.

It didn’t have the one size we needed, although the box said it did, which was just weird. So we cut some varying sizes. Figured we’d alternate between 1/8″ bigger and 1/8″ smaller. We’ll see. Certainly this is easier than cutting them out by hand. There aren’t dies though for most of what I do.

On Saturday, the Man and I went for a hike…

Apparently he was more excited about halfway than I was.

There’s been lots of dog activity. Or really, lack of activity…

Annie is still injured, so the cone is on most of the time. She licks her paw otherwise…occasionally she’s allowed out with supervision…Grandma is her favorite…

But she’ll settle for the Man…some sort of communal napping going on here.

Simba is always tortured by the girlchild’s costuming choices…

Poor little panda guy.

So I sucked at family pictures. Again. Here’s Christmas morning…

Chaos all around. Then dinner at the other house…

I didn’t even take pictures of the food. Spaced out. Ah well. We hope, as always, that we’ll have another year of it. Maybe I will remember photos in 2024. Luna hopes so.

But I have plenty of pictures of her. Here, she wants pets. More pets. This is after she hooked my finger with her claw. Bloody beast.

We also cleaned out the owl box.

We found the owlet I suspected had died in June.

Headless this time. Less of a haul this year. There were some rats too, but not all of them…heads missing. That might be their skulls. Hard to say. We’re leaving the box down for a few weeks. There’s 6 trees that will be trimmed in January, and the hope is that they will not destroy the owl box in the process. We might pull it off completely; we’ll see. Certainly I’m going to have to pull up some plants to protect them. Ah well. That’s January’s problem. And stress.

This week is not stress free. I have an arts application to complete, plus some stuff to ship out, plus donations to make before the end of the year. Lots to do. Grading still too. Hoping to get a good chunk done before the weekend, when we’ll take a couple nights of destressing. We hope. Then I’ll have to start planning the next unit and a half next week. Head down. There’s so much I can’t get done. I don’t feel very productive so far this break…or relaxed. I’m hoping to get there, but it’s been difficult. I know it’s supposed to be a mindset, but the weight of the to-do list is ever present. The only solution to that is to cross things off it and carve out some time for my sanity. Which is what the rest of this school year looks like. So not really thrilled with that. I did get some ceramics classes for Christmas…literally gonna carve those out of the schedule once I survive January. So that’s something to look forward to.

Hoping your holidays were what you needed them to be. I’m glad the official stuff is over and I can stop worrying about food and wearing stuff besides pajamas. Says the woman who needs to shower and go to the grocery store today. Yeah. Well. We do our best.

Gloom…

It’s dark and gloomy this morning. That California storm finally hit us last night, but not super hard. We’ve had over half an inch of rain and a tiny bit of thunder and lightning…nothing like up north. Enough that I don’t have to water for a few days though. Enough that I don’t feel a need to leave the house today. Wait. I need binding fabric for this quilt…I want to finish it before the 26th so I can contact the photographer and give him more time…and the fabric store I usually shop at has heinous hours these days. Which they say they aren’t changing. So it’s today or tomorrow, and tomorrow is more complicated. I did finish stitchdown on Wednesday…just sat down and did it all after writing the blog. That is one of the things I miss about teaching before COVID…coming home for the weekend and spending ALL DAY Saturday just doing art stuff. It’s hard to pull that off these days. I always have to do all the stuff I didn’t get done during the week. Stitchdown took a whopping 2 hours and 44 minutes, then I sandwiched and pinbasted that night, so I put in 3 or 4 hours.

Delightful. I still haven’t finished putting up Christmas stuff. Or wrapping it. Or putting it together.

But the tree made it into the house.

Yesterday, I was doing other stuff all day…it took 3 hours to put labels on two quilts, clean them up, iron them, and pack them up for shipping. They’ll both be traveling until 2027, I think. Hopefully I’ll see them in the traveling exhibition at some point. So far, they’ll be too far away. So I did that all morning.

Then in the afternoon, I had a couple of Zoom calls, one with stitching friends, so I started work on this thing…

So this is Sue Spargo’s Tinsel block of the month from 2022. I wasn’t going to do it, but mom likes Christmas stuff, so I signed up. I thought I’d just make it for her, but realistically, I wouldn’t finish until 2030, so I did all the applique, gave her three blocks last Christmas, three for her birthday in February (a little late because I got sick), and three for Mother’s Day. She did all the embroidery, which is the fun stuff anyway, right? Then she handed them back to me in September or October.

So yesterday, I trimmed them all.

One of the fun things about this is that the seam allowances sometimes get a little tiny. Luckily, I’ve done quite a few of these and know how to fix that. Sometimes you need to re-embroider something over the seam allowance…like that bottom tree branch on the right, and the bottom of the pot in the middle one…plus the blue bits at the top of that tree. No worries.

I pieced them on Zoom with my stitching friends.

Then there are some bits to be appliqued and embroidered after it’s all together.

Then put the borders on and applique some of the dots…I’m actually changing up the border embroidery. Mom likes it better too. I’ll give it back to her for the border embroidery, hopefully next week, and then she’ll give it back to me to be quilted and bound. Then it’s hers! It’s only taken a year plus. I’m the slow cog in the wheel, as always. I have another quilt here from a stitching friend who finished her part…so next week, I’ll put her borders on, quilt it, put a binding on it, and then hopefully hand it off before the end of break. That’s the plan anyway. We know how plans go.

Meanwhile, I did start quilting last night…did a little over an hour…

I’m going to continue with that this morning, with the plan of buying binding before the quilt store closes today. At 3. Too early, y’all. I probably won’t finish quilting all of it, but I can finish the outlining. I don’t want to be stuck without binding on Christmas Day. Yes. Ironic. There’s a break between morning and evening stuff, though, and a hike and some stitching is the best way to fill it. I know what I want for binding, and I don’t have enough of it in my stash. So shop.

I also finally framed and hung the last two Quilt National posters.

I had to email and pay for shipping to get them, because I couldn’t go to either opening…timing plus cost plus COVID. Annoying. Maybe I’ll get into another one to fill that space on the right, and I’ll make it to THAT opening. Sigh.

Simba’s eyelid seems to be fine. Hopefully the growth will not come back. He’s a good boy.

OK, so I’m outline quilting until it’s done, probably another hour or two. There’s thunder again. And more rain. Gloomy as shit this morning. Then to the quilt store. I have a friend and her son flying in tonight, so I am braving the drive to the airport this evening to get them and drop them at their hotel. Then quilting again tonight, hopefully, at some point. It’s movie night first. I think. Tomorrow is grocery shopping for Christmas, plus a hike, I hope. Finish quilting. Get a binding on probably Sunday? Not sure. Sunday is when family stuff starts for the Man, then mine on Monday. Y’all know how that goes.

Anyway, enjoy your holiday however you can/need to. I know for some it’s not enjoyable, so do your best. Read a book. Drink some spicy something-or-other. Cuddle up with a blanket if appropriate. Southern hemisphere, do what you need to do. Make some art if that’s a thing for you. I’m working on a fellowship application due January 4. Plus all the other things on the to-do list, including grading, unfortunately. It has to be done. But also doing some things that make it easier to get through the have-tos.

Aiming for Balance…

Well I was up at an ungodly hour this morning to take the dog to the vet…he had a growth on his eyelid that needed to be removed. He’s fine. Slightly sedated. About as tired as I am. I had some breakfast and graded while I was waiting for him. Then came home and graded some more while waiting for the tree guy. Six trees to be trimmed, one is huge, and another to be removed. Not cheap. If you wanna know what I’m spending my quilt money on. It needs to be done so nothing falls on the house. I think that’s one of the biggest expenses here…the trees. I love them…they give shade and coolness in the summer, which saves on A/C (which I don’t have), but they do require maintenance. Lots of maintenance.

Anyway, so I have been working on the quilt but not more than I would during the work week. I have been doing Xmas things and dealing with house stuff. Shopping. Shipping. Doctor. Vet. Blah. But I did finish ironing the whole quilt together…here’s Monday night…

And then I pieced the background and ironed it all down.

It’s not huge or complicated. Then last night, I started stitching down…

It’s not hard…just time-consuming.

I think honestly I’m going to do more of that this afternoon. I worked on school stuff, finished grading two things, input them, fixed the 7th-grade calendar, TOC, and draft class. I shouldn’t have to do more schoolwork today. I have tons on my to-do list. I made a phone call about the stained glass. I ordered meds and cat food and cat litter and all this stuff. I set up the tree trimming. I should make a dermatologist appointment. Then I can stitch down. Finish it. Get it pinbasted tonight. Start quilting tomorrow. I still have one big assignment to grade…it’s not hard, just time-consuming…and one small one. Then a ton of planning. It doesn’t help that I killed my screen yesterday…

That’s my work computer. Whoops. An errant headphone got stuck under the lid. I didn’t think I pushed hard on it; I didn’t close it all the way. Might be that a cat sat on it. Still my fault and IT is out until January 2. I’ve been projecting the screen to the monitor to the right to get stuff done. Glad I have that option anyway. I have this computer in here too. So not a loss, but I would like it fixed before school is back in session. What are the odds of that? LOW. Fuck. Let’s consider that a 2023 fuckup. So 2024 starts clean? Maybe. What are the odds.

I do occasionally toss stuff out and not grade it. Not these though. It’s the entire Unit 3 so far. Hefty. Not tossing it. Maybe grade one class a day for 5 days? Or try to get it over with sooner? Hard to say. I also need to deal with Xmas gifts and decorating and cleaning. Plus ship some stuff and/or get it ready for shipping. But for now? I’m gonna put that book on Audible (I’ve already read it, or I would be totally lost with this story) and do some stitchdown. Sounds good. There’s a balance…I’m aiming for it. Not quite there yet though.

Also still puppy sitting on and off…

She doesn’t like the cone. Or the sock. This is morose Annie. Hopefully she’ll get approved for cone/sock release today. She’s so sad otherwise. There’s no in between with her…sad or hyper as shit. OK. Stitching now.

Shopping and Shipping

Just listening to @underthedesknews about university admissions and the Supreme Court…legacy admissions could be out! I’m good with that. And that is how I am spending my Winter Break? Listening to social media news? Nah. It’s been a little chaotic so far. Let’s start with quilt progress, which has not been as much as I’d like, but whatever. I’ve been ironing…here’s Friday night’s progress…

Then Saturday night…

And Sunday night, when I stayed up way too late…

Because I was ALMOST done and then I felt like I was too tired for the last half hour so I didn’t actually finish. So yeah. I thought I’d be done ironing yesterday, but I forgot how much time having both kids around takes, and you wanna hang out with them, so there isn’t as much time for other stuff. So I suspect I’ll be done tonight. Hopefully. Stitchdown tomorrow. Quilting by Thursday? Maybe. IDK.

I’m still not done with shopping and shipping, and that will be an issue, so I need to get my act together on that front. Ah well. I did do some today…and passed by these weird things…

On the walk to the used bookstore.

Poor Santa in a cage…

So Saturday, we went on a friend’s birthday hike…

It was warm for December…high 70s. Warmer than you would like. But a winery solved that issue afterwards…

Sunday was family stuff…

I finished one book on Saturday…

Light fiction…I finished a harder one, nonfiction, on Sunday. Well on my way to finishing one a day? OK, probably not…

Sleepy cold kitties. We are also babysitting the puppy so that she doesn’t chew her foot off. She’s been pretty chill. Apparently she is depressed because of the cone and the wrap on her foot. She tore part of her claw off. Whoops. Silly girl.

Yeah, that’s been going on for a while. Needs to stop.

OK, I need to do some schoolwork and set up the tree so I can get the cats out of the needles and maybe clean some stuff. And figure out the rest of Christmas. Ugh. At least there’s no school in that. I can appreciate that.

Absolute Delight…

Hey. Friday. Before Winter Break. I love you.

Actually, I’m stressed at the moment because of the next 8 hours, but then I love you. My brain at 3:30 in the morning was not helpful. My teammates helped me write a difficult parent email this morning (no thanks to 3:30-AM brain), so that’s done. Now I just need to juggle potential issues in advisory (which is short, hallelujah), then get everyone to be quiet, turn in a huge packet, and answer a simple question. While I get the room cleaned up enough to leave after school (they’re doing the floors over break…which is good…they look like crap). Today is, of course, an assembly day. Plus pajama day (it’s going to be 80 degrees) and Santa hat day (I don’t have the patience for itchy hot head today). And I have duty after school. Then a work party.

The girlchild arrived just before midnight last night, but I haven’t seen her yet; she went to the other house. But she’s here! Makes me happy.

OK, I haven’t been ironing much. I got an hour in on Wednesday night…

Scissors for scale. Those are my small scissors.

This is not a huge, complicated quilt.

I got nothing done last night, because I had my monthly stitching meeting with friends, which was nice…I worked on shutters on crooked windows…

Then came home and finished cleaning up the girlchild’s room, ran some laundry, packed up some gifts, and dealt with some art paperwork. Then it was 10:45. So I got ready for bed. Not sure if tonight will be any better? Who knows.

This is coming up…which is cool.

We picked a current piece and something that was at least 10 years old (mine was from 1993, I think). Mine is 2nd row down, 4th from the left. Screenprint with drawing.

My advisory holiday door: Fortnite Winterfest.

They did OK. I drew Jack because the kid in charge of that was absent. He colored it though. The tree coloring is particularly nice. We’re not going to win. To be honest, we never win. Some adults get way more into this than I do. It’s strange how proud they are of it though. This is one more thing I have to do after school today: take this down. It’s funny the party starts at 3:30 and I have duty until 3:45 and then have to get my room in order. Who knows when I’ll get there.

Yesterday, I met with my co-teacher-on-leave to try to figure out some stuff she wrote on the calendar last year. It was lovely to plan with her, even though it was 7th grade and I don’t even teach that right now (I will in 2025? I think?). So yeah, we spent an hour on stuff we don’t even teach. It was an absolute delight and relief though. To have someone to plan with and see the big ideas. I miss that. I cried on the way home…missed that. She’ll be back. It’ll be better. I refuse to say when, so the universe won’t slap back.

Anyway. I hate these days before break, but a lot of kids will be absent because of that. Pros and cons. I was really angry with my advisory for an incident on Wednesday; I’m still pissed off at a couple of them. Made it hard on a couple of classes for their behavior with the sub while I was in a literacy meeting. That said, I have the next 20-some days off (although, yes, I will have to grade and plan). So that’s not bad. I can do that.

Read…

Big deep sigh. You know what I WANT to do today? Stay home and iron this quilt together…in between reading my book while curled up on the couch with a dog or cat or two. I am mentally exhausted. And today is LOOONG. Hate those days. Things before and after school. Ugh. 8 AM to 6 PM without stopping…the plus is that we are in literacy group this afternoon, so not full-on teaching, but also I know my kids in the last class of the day won’t do their work and may destroy the classroom. So that sucks. I warned them yesterday, but you know how that goes. Well, if you’re a teacher, you know how it goes. If you’re not, you probably think if you’ve built a relationship with them and gotten down at their level and shared some respect, that they will be perfect angels. Well, try a title I middle school three days before Winter Break and tell me how that goes. Yeah. I thought so. Stupid time for these meetings. They really didn’t think it through. I think one meeting is the day before Spring Break. A Friday. There will definitely be an assembly. Are they on crack? Possibly.

That said, I’m pretty proud of myself for getting mostly caught up on grading. I finished last week’s academic assignment last night. I have one batch of homework I’m hoping to do today and tomorrow. There’s a few easy things that need to go into the gradebook. Then on Friday, they hand in their packets, which I will need to take home, and one homework assignment. Plus warmups. I’m still debating an easy question on Friday. I should do it, but IDK if I’ll have time. Playing it all by ear. I hate that. I want to know exactly what I’m teaching when, at least 3 weeks in advance. But no. Not for the last four years. Not without a significant amount of replanning and juggling and rewriting and shit. This is why I set a retirement date. I’m just tired of that part of it. The actual teaching? I can handle that. The rest? Ugh.

So the current quilt…I finished cutting things out on Monday night.

It took a little over 7 hours to do that. Longer than usual, I think. Not sure why.

Then I sorted them last night…

Such an easy sort…

Just under 500 pieces. I do think I need to wash all my bins over break though. The pencil lead is transferring onto them. I never noticed that with older bins, but these seem to show it, and it’s probably transferring to fabric. Weird things on my to-do list.

Then I started ironing…

I didn’t get very far. These are tiny people. I should have put something in there for scale, but just trust me, they’re little. I had to set up the room a little, move stuff around, then sort out the first 100 pieces by 10s. I’ll get more done tonight. I’m hoping to be done ironing Sunday night, then stitchdown, quilt, bind next week. We’ll see. I have some other shit to do. That whole Xmas thing. And the next quilt is waiting…it’s been enlarged and numbered for a few years, so it’s my last quilt of the year, assuming I can finish it in time. Not huge, not complicated. Then I can get my head around the next one. I have a deadline where I need to work with a collaborator and I’m not sure what that will look like, since we don’t use the same media and we don’t live in the same city. Minor issue. We’ll figure it out in January. I’ll probably start something else at the same time.

I spent some time cleaning up the girlchild’s bedroom last night; she arrives late Thursday night. I still need to put some quilts away and figure out where to store all the ones I know need to ship out in the next few weeks. Then maybe persuade her brother to store his packs elsewhere. He has a lot of them. Then make her bed with everything I washed last night, which is probably where I got the weird ring of spider bites around my elbow/arm.

I finished a book yesterday that made me cry. And then went to school, still crying (not good), but since I often drive to school with the urge to sob and/or scream, it was nothing new. Just discombobulating. And it had an essentially sort of happy ending; it was just all the shit before it that threw me. Then I started right away to read another book, and that one is also seriously speaking to me about quitting and becoming a full-time reader (is that a thing? Please let it be a thing.)…

But no, I have a parent meeting this morning and a union meeting after school, so no books until 6 PM. WHICH SUCKS. Oh wait, I can read at lunch, but I’m also supposed to be reading this book for school and I haven’t gotten very far. Ugh. Yeah. It’s a pain. My responsible teacher self is NOT going to let me bring the other book I’d rather read. Although it’s on my phone. So there’s that.

OK. Do the 10-hour day. Come home and READ. Then do some work and hopefully the Man will let us finish the movie we’ve been trying to watch for days. I wanna know what happens! Dammit. And then ironing, which is fun and relaxing and I love seeing the image come to life in color. So that’s cool. Three more days of school and then more reading! Woo hoo! Don’t look at the to-do list. READ!

Whatevering…

Five days. I can do that. Right? Sure. The fact that I was rewriting (only in my head, not in real life yet) the entire week’s lesson plans while trying to fall asleep last night is not a problem, right? Why do that? Because the lesson progression doesn’t make sense. I sort of saw that last week, but thought I could get away with it, because I wanted something that would keep them engaged through Friday, but the reality is that they can’t do that thing WELL without doing the other thing first, so I’m just going to have to figure out how to make it work. I haven’t entirely figured TODAY’s lesson out either. I need another brain. I start planning and then I lose sight of the big picture, and then my brain worries out all the details, but I need to go back to the big picture and not let the short-sightedness of some people stop me. Man, this year is just…it’s just like last year…but worse. I can’t get my head around this stuff. It’s better than last year (the planning/organization), but it’s not great yet. I remember it took my co-teacher and I a good 6 years to make the lessons good. I don’t have 6 years. I go back to 7th grade not next year but the year after. And while I appreciate all the lessons the new teacher has provided, I need the logical backstory. And I don’t quite have it yet. I keep asking and not getting a story. So then I have to try to make one by myself, and myself is not doing great. I’m not even halfway through the year and I feel done. Like dried-out Thanksgiving turkey done. So much as I am looking forward to Winter Break (and getting a break), I know I will need to hash out the next unit. By myself. And it doesn’t make sense to me yet.

All that aside, I survived the weekend. I even thought I was getting sick, but overdosing on Vitamin C and getting two decent nights of sleep helped. Still overdosing though.

I met with some of the SAQA So Cal/NV members at Visions on Saturday.

I’m looking thrilled. Really. We did get a tour through the exhibit, which was nice. I talked a little bit about my quilt…

Which is still there, if you haven’t seen it. They had some pop-up artists’ shops, which was cool. A friend I hadn’t seen for years was running one of them, so it was nice to catch up. We had lunch after…

It’s almost normal! Like going to see art and hanging out afterward. I was going to go to another fiber art thing afterward, but I had too much schoolwork to do…so I came home and worked for about 3 hours. Then the Man and I went to see the Dresden Dolls with Amanda Palmer…

I’d never seen the band before…

I enjoy me some Amanda though…

It was a good show. That said, we are old and standing for 3+ hours on concrete is not ideal. And yet, we keep doing it. We must like it, even if our feet and backs don’t.

We got home too late to make art! I was hoping to get some done before we went, but the assignments were more insistent.

Sunday, I graded a lot more. And that’s when the lesson plan issue came up. I’m hoping to have a prep period today and time after school to figure it out. I had 1 prep period last week that wasn’t meetings or subbing my prep, so it would be nice to have another this week. We’ll see.

Last night, I did stop grading/planning at about 9:15 and cut stuff out for a little over an hour…

It’s hard not to just stay up and finish, but that would have been at least another hour, I think. We’ll see, because I’ll be finishing tonight hopefully. That’s the plan anyway. Then sorting and ironing by midweek.

Meanwhile, I’m nursing a nasty scrape on my arm that wants to be infected, but I’m trying to persuade it not to be with lots of neosporin and care. I don’t have time for a trip to urgent care to get meds. It just needs to behave. It’s better today than it was Saturday, when it was swollen and hot and yuck. Swelling has gone down. It’s still itchy, but I think that’s healing itchies. It’s not hot anymore. Good times. Can’t have a holiday season without some bizarre reason why you SHOULD go to urgent care. Even if you don’t.

In other news…

Gonna add reading books to this list, but that probably wasn’t as much of a thing in the dark ages.

Here’s Kitten about to whack me for being in her space. You know, the space in front of the computer where I’m trying to type.

And Simba trying to cuddle…

It’s been cold at night.

I love random measurements.

OK. Today. Teaching some stuff, but I’m not exactly sure how, and I didn’t put all the materials out on Friday like I normally do, because I had to be at the sex-ed curriculum meeting right after school and duty at the light. So I really should get my ass to school to figure all that out. I’ll figure part of it out on the 12-minute drive over there. Then redo the lesson plan for the whole week, copy some stuff, rewrite the lesson plan for Wednesday’s half-day sub so I can do literacy planning with my team on the book I was supposed to start reading this weekend and DID NOT. Whoops. I have read it before. But I remember very little. Teach all day, whatever that looks like (wish I knew). Finish planning/copying/whatevering after school, come home, do things, very specific things I haven’t figured out yet (probably involving reading a book I’ve already read). I’m cooking dinner. I’m also going to finish cutting stuff out. Hopefully. It’s a very mentally chaotic day I think. Ugh. Hate those. May tomorrow be less so.

Owie.

Yup. Days still off. I don’t usually write on Saturday. Today is crazy nuts too. Like work is making me hyperventilate and Christmas is giving me hives. Somehow I scraped my arm (IDK even where or when) and I think it’s infected. I just smeared neosporin all over it because my other option is going to urgent care and I don’t have any time in my schedule for that unless I forego sleeping. Which I’m already doing at some stupid level. Sure, I could stop making art for an hour every night, but WHAT THE FUCK NO WAY. So yeah. It’s that time of year. Pro: there’s only 5 days of school left. Con: I have to survive them.

I came home from work yesterday (11 hours straight y’all) and I had almost no voice left. And I felt like a truck had hit me. I feel better this morning, but I haven’t talked to anyone but furry beasts, one of whom is glaring at me right now because I moved her away from the keyboard. And after 11 hours AT work, I then spent another hour plus…working. I’m so behind in everything: planning, grading, etc. I can’t think straight. I lost 4 prep periods this week to meetings and having to sub my prep (7th-grade math) so I got very little done. Meetings before and after school…three befores and two afters. I thought we’d be done with the sex-ed curriculum meetings, but no…they added four more in January, which now looks like hell. Can’t worry about that now though. It’s only December and I’m not allowed to worry about the future, so I’m just thinking about today (so not true, but I’m trying, really really hard).

I did carve out (literally had to make myself stop working) time to make art on Thursday night…

These piles look cool if you compare them. Because then here’s last night, when I cut stuff out for two hours, because I quit working at 9 instead of 9:30, and then I stayed up past 11.

I suspect I have two more nights of cutting, and tonight is complicated by a concert we’re going to, so probably not cutting tonight. Let’s say I’m done Monday, sort Tuesday, ironing together by Wednesday? That’s the plan anyway. Like my lesson planning for school at the moment, just assume everything will take twice as long as you think it will. Because it will.

It’s OK…I’m at the stage of the quilt where I don’t have to think very hard, which is good, because I’m constantly thinking about curriculum instead. Thinking I might just make a 45-minute edpuzzle assignment for Friday so I don’t have to deal with kids. Sounds good. Ugh. I have a literacy thing this week too that will put me out of HALF my classes for a day, which completely fucks up my planning. I hate this shit.

It’ll be fine. It’ll be.

I wish more people who knew me realized this about my brain.

They don’t. Or maybe they do.

So here’s the rough drawing of what my school holiday door will look like.

They got a solid start on it Friday, but we only really have Tuesday and Wednesday to finish it. Not feeling it. Me that is. But they’re all into it so I don’t fucking care. I’ve already done all the social/emotional learning lessons I’m supposed to be doing this month. IDK how I got so far ahead, but I’m rewarding myself with just having them draw and color for four days. Maybe five.

The Man is still job-hunting, complicated by a work-related injury. So he walked Simba yesterday…

Which was good for both of them. I enjoy those walks when I can…probably not today though. Plus then Simba was super tired.

Which is also good.

OK. It is Saturday, so no school, all good. Well, I need to grade and plan. But for today, I have a SAQA meeting at Visions, then there was a thing I was going to go to (art-related) that I think I will have to miss, just for my own sanity. Then we have a concert tonight, which I am actually looking forward to…the Dresden Dolls. I also need to finish grading this one hellish assignment and grade a ton of late work and redoes so kids stop freaking out so much (it’s been a week since I did the last batch). Then really get my head around next week’s plan, because I’ve switched it about 17 times. I think I’m just going to have to make video instructions for the three afternoon classes and then pray to the Teacher Goddess that they actually do something. Two of the classes will. One will be problematic. It was delightful yesterday because that ONE KID was absent. Y’all know how that works. Another of those ONE KIDs was suspended all week and that was also delightful. Although that class is still problematic. Honestly the biggest issue is all the kids who are absent constantly, at least one day a week, or all last week, or whatever, and then I just hand them the papers and say, you’ll need to figure it out. It’s on Google Classroom. Literally there’s no time to help them when I’m dealing with that day’s assignments. This year’s kids don’t go home and make work up. They just assume it was a free day. Or week, for some of them. I didn’t schedule much teacher down time last week and that was part of the problem. Note to planning self: GIVE YOURSELF A FUCKING BREAK. Yeah. OK. I hear you. I’m trying.

OK. Shower. Breakfast. More neosporin on the owie. Cut stuff out at some point. Because even if I’m going to two things that are NOT work related, I should be able to sit and relax for an hour with the scissors and the fabric.