Let’s Be Real…

Hey. Two more Mondays. Nine days. Panicking a bit about finishing grades on time, but with all the grading I did all weekend, I’m hoping I’m OK. I’m not taking any more late work, so that should help. One hopes. I still need sub plans for Wednesday morning, another literacy meeting that was incredibly poorly timed. Can’t have the swing sub teach sex ed, but I don’t have spare days, so I’m just gonna have to come up with magical things. The sex ed packets are too long for a normal period, and we have short classes today, so I’m gonna have to figure that out because they can’t do Wednesday’s thing without me if I can’t get through the two packets today and tomorrow. FUUCKKK. Not thinking about that. I’ll figure it out. By myself. Like all fucking year. We have a field trip Friday, and then we’re back for two periods…where I’ll be showing a video and hoping I don’t have another drug overdose in class because of the field trip. What are the odds? I mean, that would be USEFUL professional development. How to deal with overdoses, what to look for, what to do. Let’s be real here. I’m beyond cynical right now. One of the things we do with sex ed is a question box, and the first question I got in there, I had to call Child Protective Services. I was on hold from when I got to the ceramics studio on Friday, through 90 minutes of underglazing, the drive home, and 15 minutes at home with my book until they finally answered. Finished the report at 7 PM. And will anything happen? Well mine isn’t the first report, so there’s that. Disheartening. Extremely.

Ah well. Let’s start with the glazing…I’m almost done…

I did the reds, all the arteries, the heart, tongue, etc.

I also did the darker skin tones. I have a lot of clean up to do in the lines.

Fingernails…

And I started the hair. I got tired after about 90 minutes. I think I only have three colors left to do tonight. I knew CPS would pick up and I’d have to go outside and have this conversation, and I didn’t want to be that tired and still have to clean up after the conversation. So I didn’t finish Friday.

I graded Friday night, most of Saturday, and for about 5 hours on Sunday. Still not done! It’s all the fiddly last-minute redoes and late work that take for-freaking-ever to go through. The Man says I shouldn’t allow that, but I’m pro-growth-mindset. Learn from your mistakes. Figure out the right answers. I love the persistent kids. Well, some of them. Some of them don’t listen and keep submitting, even though they still haven’t read the comments or changed what they’re doing. And some use AI to help and it’s so freaking obvious…I mean, there’s not a lot of 8th graders at my school using the phrase “chronological constant”. I ran one through an AI detector just for fun. I mean, all I had to do was compare the first answer, which wasn’t bad, but was more kid-real language, to the second one, which read like a Wiki article. Sigh. I wrote both of them notes about the future. I doubt they’ll read them. Or listen. YES, I am in defeatist mode. Survival mode.

I also ironed things all weekend. Friday night, got to here.

Saturday night, all but the head…

Sunday night, did the head and ironed it to a background…

Hoping to see my sewing machine soon. We know a part arrived, but there was a medical emergency and we’re not sure if it got installed before that happened. It’s OK…I’m just going to start ironing the big quilt to fabric. I was ready to do that when I realized I had this one piled up too and it was easy enough to iron it together. Feels like a success. Progress. Looks nice. All that.

I had my quilt guild meeting Saturday…worked on her hair.

Slowest stitch ever. I also got a place to stay in Phoenix for QuiltCon 2025. Fun drive.

We hiked…

Babysat the ex’s dog again…

She’s constantly on the hunt. For animals.

It’s always nice to get outside in nature. I miss it. Want to do it more. Although apparently we discriminate against giraffes.

Doesn’t say if they must be leashed.

It’s not exactly a playdate because Simba is annoyed by her, but at least she gets some exercise and attention.

Saturday night, we tried some local breweries/wineries.

Just for something different. Felt bad for the band…there were only four people listening. Ouch.

And here’s where we’re at…

Although I definitely wasn’t smiling even that much.

OK, clay today, plus grading (you knew that was coming), plus starting to iron the next quilt to fabric. I’m tired. I’m done. Today I’m teaching pregnancy. The boys are notoriously stupid about this until I start talking about the financial responsibility of spilling sperm. Fun times.

To Get Me Through

Oh hello. Friday is here. I have very little of my voice…unfortunate, because the new sex ed curriculum is EVEN MORE talking than the old one. I’m depending on tea today, and hopefully I can find (and make work) my mic system. It’s fussy as shit, so I’m not confident it will work.

We have officially reached the time of the school year when you just do 10-hour days every day (10? Let’s see…left at 7:45 yesterday after sending three emails from home, probably started at 7 AM, and came home at 4:30 and then worked mostly until 9:30…yup) until you collapse and hopefully that’s graduation day. I’m not fully planned for next week. I need to grade three thousand things (that’s after grading a ton the last two nights). My house is a disaster. Fun times. I am going to the ceramics studio after school today. I went Tuesday, but just to make sure stuff wasn’t drying out. Tonight I’m going to do some underglazing on the sgraffito piece. Meditation. Before I come home and grade another three thousand things. Fun times. I keep saying that. I hate the end of the year. I really have not enjoyed this school year. I have a cart full of supplies from the other grade level who just dumped everything off, apparently for me to clean up and put away? I put away all the egg drop stuff yesterday. That was a fun thing though. We dropped 47 eggs and 7 survived.

Bethany did NOT survive.

I. Am. Overwhelmed. And the contractor and the stained-glass guy are both trying to schedule with me, and I’m like, y’all need to schedule with EACH OTHER. Leave me out. I can’t even answer the phone for 7 hours a day. Y’all are grown men. Figure it the fuck out.

Hopefully that works.

I’m ironing. It’s brainless at this point. That’s good, because so am I. Wednesday night…

Thursday night…

With Kitten hiding under the ironing board. IDK who the fuck numbered this thing (it was me), but the arm is on top and should be numbered after the torso (it’s not). So fussy. Who drew this thing (also me)??? I actually like it. It’s OK. I almost gave up when I got to the leaves though, and some of them need to overlap the heart, and it’s numbered higher, which it shouldn’t be. So I was obviously tired/out of it when I numbered it. Blame my school self for that. Suspect there’s another three nights of this…It’s actually pretty small. Still no sewing machine. I’m calling today. I know the part shipped. Insane.

The Man is still enticing crows.

And apparently other birds. OK. Teaching body image and decisionmaking today (ha! that last one.). Yesterday, we changed seats for sex ed. I let them pick one friend to sit with to help them feel comfortable, but these two boys (at two different tables) both were mouthing off about what SIDE of the table they needed to sit on, and I finally blew up, explained that they are constantly trying to interact with people across the room, so I made them face the other way so it would be incredibly uncomfortable for them to do so and obvious to me that they were doing it. I explained (rather loudly) that it was incredibly lame that I was having to babysit the behavior of kids going to high school in two months at that level, and if they kept arguing with me, they would be out. They shut up.

My patience is low, bottom of the barrel…with adults and children. Sorry. I’m doing my best. All the emails about how to redo things? Go look in your email. Stop asking me how to do it…it’s the same way we’ve been doing it all year. Follow the instructions I’ve said all year. In fact, if you were here last year, all three 7th-grade teachers, one of whom was me, also used the exact same instructions. Sigh. Double sigh. Fucking sigh.

OK. I’m walking dogs tomorrow at some point. I’m hopefully taking a break to go to my quilt guild meeting. I’m doing ceramics tonight. I’m ironing every night. I’m drinking chai tea because it makes me happy. I bought a piece of monkey bread from our student coffee store, to be delivered today during first period. A treat. To get me through.

Recovering Dammit…

OK. Made it home. It was questionable for a while, but it all happened. The girlchild is sick so I’m taking all my meds, hoping my middle-school-trained immune system is strong enough to counteract hanging in a car with her for hours plus all the other exposures, because surely, she got it from the same people we were all with all weekend. My first day back at school, I wrote 5 referrals for the kids who couldn’t figure out how to deal with a sub…kicked them out for the egg drop. Got pictures taken and labeled during class of the egg drop materials. Got kids through their assignments (it helps that I overthink every day…the pro of an anxious brain is that I plan a class period in my head about 700 times before I actually teach it. This is also a con.), got packets done for the sex-ed opt-out kids. Need to set up materials this morning for the egg drop; I have one set for each table, but need to be ready to swap out stuff if necessary. I had to sub my prep period yesterday, but luckily, it was mostly a good class and I was able to post the things I needed to and start the seating charts for sex ed. I let them pick one friend to sit with, but then, you know, not everyone picks each other and some kids don’t pick at all, and there’s always too many boys in my classes. I had to kamikaze to the dentist after school while calling pre-anesthesia to make an appointment for the REAL pre-anesthesia appointment, which is before the REAL anesthesia. Gotta make a list of all my meds and supplements. IDK why my surgeon doesn’t have access to the same list I have to review with my doc, but they don’t. It’s annoying. Then I went to the ceramics studio to make sure my stuff hadn’t dried out, picked up my glazed pot that I forgot to photograph and isn’t that exciting anyway, and then went to Costco for the eggs for today. Dropped those back at school in the fridge so I wouldn’t have to do that this morning. Realized as I got back into the car at 5:30 Pacific Coast Time that I was hella exhausted. Like bone-tired. Ah yes. Because it’s 8:30 PM East Coast Time and my body isn’t really sure which time it’s on. Came home, napped, laid around half-dead for a bit, got up, made dinner, made seating charts. It took a massive amount of willpower to not just go to bed, but to come in here and iron for 24 minutes.

Got the other side of Christmas lights done. From a week ago. It’s a start.

I stitched on the plane once I finished my book and my bullet journal for the week. I finished the last house block for Sue Spargo’s Homegrown…

While watching Barbie. It had its pros and cons.

And I started the centerpiece…

While watching the first half of The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes or whatever that title actually is. I didn’t draw at all this weekend. Didn’t have the energy or the brainpower. I constantly have to explain why I stitch other people’s patterns when I’m sitting somewhere or traveling. Mine isn’t very travel-happy. I couldn’t have ironed anything on this trip. I have taken stuff to cut out before, but only when it’s at a very controllable stage. I won’t do it on a plane. Too much possibility of losing pieces. Everything I have going is at the ironing or stitchdown stage, so not portable. Plus I don’t have to think about this pattern at all. Someone else already thought it all out for me.

Kitten was glad to see me…

She didn’t eat much and wouldn’t take her meds while I was gone. She doesn’t do well at the moment when I leave. But she’s bouncing back.

This is one of Luna’s most commonly seen facial expressions…

Not sure what she saw (but I suspect it’s usually a demon behind me, based on how she looks).

The ex found a duckling…

It’s OK; he has since found the owner. Apparently another one is wandering around somewhere (not good…we have coyotes). Crazy times. My yard has had all the normal wild animals, plus a chicken, an elderly deaf and blind pug, an injured crow (my neighbor dealt with that), random dogs and cats, but no ducks. Yet.

OK. Well. Today I do 50 egg drops…well, just under that. Plus pilates, which my creaky post-travel body really needs, although after the 500 squat lunges I did a day going up and down the steps in that rental house, my knees are still complaining, but the muscles are fine. I still haven’t watered, so I need to do that tonight, plus take the trash out. And then start grading all the late work. With only 12 days of school left, everything gets rather panicky. Must do it all NOW. Hoping the sleep evens out soon, and the stress too. Too many health issues on top of all that. The next person who asks, “so what are doing this summer?” might get punched. RECOVERING DAMMIT…from a really tough year. Plus doing all the things I haven’t been doing. The floors are disgusting, there’s drawers and cupboards and parts of the house that need a ton of work. I need to paint at least one room and the hallway, plus all the carpet. I don’t want to think about the rest of it. We go back to school so early this year, it just sucks. Anyway. So I’m gonna think about that later, and make sure there’s plenty of hikes and ceramics and quilting and whatever else makes me feel better. And be hopeful about the medical stuff because it’s really stressful to think otherwise. Plus read a ton of books. Sound like a plan? And go see the girlchild in San Francisco. All good.

By the Side of a Lake

So. I’m not in Southern California. I spent a million hours yesterday traveling with my parents and then my daughter 3,114.6 miles to the side of a lake in Maine, near where my niece is graduating from college. My dad broke an airplane seat on the way, we met the girlchild’s sweet guy, ate dinner in Boston, and drove through two states to get to this cabin (cabin???) by a lake, where I’m sitting right now. Staring out at the water and the trees and trying to remember how to relax. Really, my brain is gonna make me go finish inputting grades. It’s OK. It has to happen sometime and I’ve had some good relaxation time so far.

Here’s a weird jellyfish glass/metal sculpture in the Boston airport.

There was nothing good to photograph on the plane. I spent a goodly amount of time grading stuff. Pro: it’s done. Other Pro: Alaska Airlines realized their internet crapped out multiple times (I started reactively saving the doc every 3 minutes at some point) and refunded me the $8 I paid to get my job done. Con: Well, work. I did finish my book yesterday, so I’m not feeling too bad. I even napped. Barely.

Weird fact: My brother and I are currently reading the same book, Everyone in My Family Has Killed Someone. Not a planned thing. Just happened. Weird, huh? We are both liking it.

Here’s one view of the lake. It was more polleny this afternoon. We have two, technically three docks and some boat-type things.

We didn’t get here until 11:30 PM last night…long day. So far, my brother, my SIL, the two nephews, my parents, and my daughter are here. The boychild is working this weekend, so no go. The niece is the graduator. My SIL’s parents come in tonight. Full house. Only two bathrooms.

The parents wanted to go to LL Bean today, so we did.

Girlchild was excited about the giant boot.

I was excited about the sale on Camelbak packs…got a small one to replace my 22-year-old short hike pack. This one has sharks on it and is even smaller, better pockets than the old one. I’ve been looking for a while…mine has holes and wear in the straps. Plus it was on sale. Always nice.

We made it back and I tried out one of the kayaks.

Wind took my hat at one point, but I rescued it. I’ll go back out a few more times. Kinda windy, kinda wobbly, but a nice form of exercise.

Lots of people sleeping this afternoon. Girlchild is cooking dinner for me and the parentals tonight as the rest are out with my niece’s friends…

I’ve been reading a bit. Gonna think about a walk, then input those grades from the plane, and then maybe draw or stitch. My brain, body, and blood sugar are all off from travel and time change. But it’s nice to be away from stressful things, even if it’s stressful getting here. So many pine trees…

My Head Is Exploding…

OK. So I managed to do 70 trillion things yesterday to try to make sure I’m ready for ANYTHING: my sub for the next two days, missing my flight Monday afternoon (Alaska Air has already offered me money to switch my flight day, which does not bode well for getting home on time), running out of toilet paper here, the faucet that is failing, a shortage of cotton balls for next Wednesday’s lab…WHATEVER. I feel like my head is exploding. I even had all my breakfasts and lunches planned this week, and then my bosses fell through on today’s breakfast burrito and made it lunch instead…OK, so I have an extra lunch now. I’ll take one on the plane. But the point of the breakfast burrito is that I don’t have a prep during testing, so eating is more complicated on those days, so a solid breakfast helps. Cheerios isn’t gonna do it. Ah well. Roll with it.

I did get two days in the ceramics studio this week, mostly because I’m trying to finish the sgraffito piece so I can work on the OTHER piece…there’s no room on my shelf at the moment. Plus I wanted to make sure all the paper towels were damp for the week I won’t be in there.

So here’s Monday’s progress…all the blues…

Then yesterday, I did the flesh color…

Sorry about all the talking. I forget that people are in the studio while I’m working. Then I add music before I post on Insta, but forget that I would need to download that version. So you get random studio conversations. Ugh. Monday, there was no one else there. It was delightful. Tuesday was busy.

I need some shades of flesh for all the bits I didn’t do. And I realized I should have done the teeth when I did the other whites. Ah well.

And some of the raindrops need touchup.

No clue what I’m going to do with her hair. Definitely red arteries and heart and probably nails.

It’s definitely fun. It’s basically drawing and coloring. On a curvy thing.

So there’s that. Maybe finished mid-June (or 2025…whichever seems more reasonable). No, I need to finish so I can work on the other one.

The cloud/grass planter went into the bisque fire yesterday. That was fast! I’m close to putting the winged creature in for a bisque fire too. Soon. I probably need help with that. The shelf isn’t big enough for me to just put her there.

I’m also doing quilt stuff. Have not stopped that. It’s my late-night art. So really, I’m just doubling up some days. I sorted all the Wonder Under (in two nights) for the new big quilt…

And then realized I had never ironed the last little one together and it’s taking up space in the office. I know it won’t take long, so I’m just doing it.

I cleaned up first, then started setting stuff out. I love this part of quiltmaking, when all the colors come together. I’m going to have so much sewing to do when I get my machine back. Good times.

The Man is trying to make friends with crows.

This one wouldn’t get out of my way when I was trying to go to work yesterday. There are two hanging around. He is just feeding them at the moment…not sure when they start bringing us people’s jewelry, but I think it’s soon.

The proteas are still fascinating…

OK, state science testing is today. I’m a little freaked out by the next 24 hours, but I’m sure I’ll survive. I need to come home and do laundry (after pilates and during book club, apparently), pack, make sure I’m ready because tomorrow is an early start. Gonna be a long day. But we’ll be with family at the end of it, so that’ll be cool. Looking forward to seeing my niece graduate. Yay for her!

Maybe in That Order

OK. This week. Is gonna be a bit nuts. I worked all Saturday morning/afternoon trying to get the alternative assignment done for sex ed. Successful at that. Can’t use the same one they use in 7th grade. That’s silly. But now it actually exists. I have a ton of stuff to get done in the next three days. I spaced out on packing up a quilt this weekend, so that’s after school. So is clay. So is book club. It’s all good. I’ll get through it all. I might even sleep at night. Maybe.

So clay stuff. I finished carving the sgraffito piece and started adding underglaze colors.

It’s going to take a while…

Someone was like, then stop! Don’t do it! It’s fine the way it is!

Maybe. But I want to try what’s in my head. I can always do this again without all the colors. I know how now.

Getting the space to experiment as an established artist is hard. Also people are always telling me what they think I should do.

I really don’t do critiques. I have a voice, I know what I’m doing most of the time. It’s in my head. My SAQA local group met on Zoom yesterday and now they’re setting up critiques, and I’m like, ugh, no. Don’t wanna. It’s fine. I know some people want other people to give them suggestions. I don’t. Thanks.

The tiles got bisque-fired…

They need a clear glaze on top.

Friday night’s dinner drawing.

We had a family dinner Saturday night, so no drawing then.

And then lots of Wonder Under being trimmed…Friday night…

Saturday night…

And I finished Sunday night, just over 10 hours…

I started sorting, but then was reminded that we had to make the bed, and then it was bedtime. So I didn’t finish. Tonight there’s a lot going on, but I’m hoping to finish sorting and get the office organized and cleaned up for ironing to fabrics. I do still have another quilt that is ready to be ironed together. I may start that first. We’ll see. It’s all starting to pile up in here. I have a quilt top that is half stitched down, still waiting for my sewing machine to come home. I know the necessary part was shipped a little over a week ago. Frustrating.

This silly boy apparently had fleas.

Like WTF, that’s why you’re on flea meds. So he got a bath. I didn’t do it.

I spent a little time cleaning up plants on the deck and found this swallowtail cocoon.

It was empty, but it was cool to find, hidden away like that.

OK. I’m very much in survival mode at the moment. Getting stuff done, a little bit at a time. Panicking when I realize something isn’t done. Lots of not sleeping and trying to remember shit. I write a lot of things down and then forget to look at the lists, plus I have phone reminders, but then I ignore them. Good brain. Silly staff meeting today. Hopefully better than the last ones about literacy (unlikely). Then clay. Then pack up quilt. Book club. Sort Wonder Under. Clean office. Maybe in that order.

Head in a Magnet

Well. It is finally Friday. 19 days of school left. Testing for 2 of them. Not gonna be there for 2 of them. Teaching sex ed soon, so that’ll be at the same time easier and harder, depending on my voice and the specific class. Gotta let some of rest of it go…I know who will be in my classroom those two days and I just have to let it go. It’ll be fine. Until it’s not.

I’ve got three days and about 2 1/2 hours of reading until my library book automatically disappears. No problem. Well. I gotta teach today…roller coaster physics. Fun stuff. The kids did awesome on this performance task practice. Really proud of them. Look! I taught them something! Sigh. And I am going to the ceramics studio tonight to get more done on that sgraffito piece…finish carving, maybe start underglaze? We’ll see. Not entirely sure how I’m doing that. Things are easy in class when all the materials are provided…harder if you’re doing it on your own. Have a ton of schoolwork today. I got some done in class yesterday but I don’t think I’ll get much done today unfortunately. Next week though…next week is testing, so let’s hope. Planning has to happen this weekend. I got the egg drop stuff planned, but not the alternative assignment for my 8th-grade opt outs for sex ed. Can’t give them the same shit as last year. There’s an easy option, but it’s boring. I’m not good at the easy option. Tend to double down when I’m buried. Silly really.

Most important problem for next week? What stitching will I take for the plane? What books? I know. ALL the books. I will have to grade while I’m gone. That’s fun. Hopefully it’ll be quick and easy. Hopefully the flight will actually have wifi so I can grade. Better than sitting in a house with all the fam and trying to do it. There’s a ‘dedicated workspace’…it’s a table in the middle of everything. Yeah no. However, sitting on a deck and doing it? That might be OK (or it might be raining and freezing…welcome to Maine in May). It’s all good. It’s new and different. I’m looking forward to it as I’m stressing out about it. Like everything. Brain MRI is scheduled…they wanted to do the same day as my surgery, but I suggested that was problematic. Then they picked the day I get the radiotransmitter thing inserted in my boob for presurgery stuff, which is metal, so that’s out. So now I get to spend 20 minutes on a Saturday with my head in a magnet. Sounds lovely. I should get the results while I’m still teaching. Even more lovely.

We watched the movie Yesterday the last two nights…and it was light and cheesy (good after Baby Reindeer‘s dark and turgid), but the best part, the part that almost made me cry…wait, I don’t wanna spoil it if you want to see it and haven’t…damn, there’s someone who shows up in the movie who is dead in real life. I remember when he died. I was in middle school, it was a rainy morning, because dad was driving us to school, and it was on the radio. Clearly remember it. I didn’t really understand the significance, but I do now. And it was sweet. Lovely. Sad. Or I’m just an emotional exhausted mess and pretty much anything will put me over the top. You decide.

I’ve been cutting things out at night, trying to do a yard a night…or an hour…or both. I was doing really well the first three nights, but last night, this was after an hour and 15 minutes and definitely past my bedtime…

Definitely did not finish that yard. To its credit, there were lots of tiny complicated bits on that yard.

The night before, I finished…

I’ve done a total of almost 5 hours so far…and a little less than 4 yards. I think. Yes. Well, except I had that one small piece with a head and two pieces of hair. Whatever. I’m more than halfway done. Insert arty photo of the same pile of Wonder Under pieces…

Yeah. I know. It is actually relaxing to cut these out. That’s the plus. Boring in photographs. Barely any viewer engagement. Insert photos of ceramics to excite people! Hey those take forever too. I need to get the sgraffito piece done so I have enough shelf space to make the top part of the torso though. Need to use up the clay I have and not buy more of that type too. Ha! That’s my limitation on the world figure…I have a limited amount of that clay. Should be interesting.

ANYWAY. I need to go to school and be productive. I need more tea (I left my teacup in the car the other morning. Almost died.). I need more patience. Seriously, kids, I guess if you WANT to be kicked out, tell me to shut up some more. Love that. Teach roller coasters, let them compete in an escape room…for candy. Go play with clay (very meditative and chill…and Fridays are notoriously quiet at the studio). Then cut things out. Read my book! I can plan school stuff tomorrow…

Mghmghmgh…

MMMMMmmmmm. Imagine an irritable, tired growl with a guttural scratchy losing-my-voice catch to it. Not even sure what letters of the alphabet go with that. Mghmghmghmgh? Something like that. I’m not one of those gratitude people, but I try to think of positive things each day when it’s really hard (code: it’s really hard right now). The kids are…um…challenging. Doing state test review sucks. Trying to come up with stuff for the kids to do after testing but while I’m gone and before sex ed is stressful (although I had a minor breakthrough last night after working from 8 AM to 8 PM…you should try it sometime. Not.). Trying to manage departmental things without my co-chair…fuck me. I might crawl into a hole next year. Certainly this year I say no no no a lot and it doesn’t seem to help. So yeah. Behind on grading still too. And exhausted. Not sleeping. Just my brain…the same brain that is still seeing that swirling cabbage, that gets to call radiology today because it’s been two weeks and they haven’t called me yet to set up a brain MRI. I’ve never put my head in an MRI. I do have some claustrophobic issues. I also meditate well. I think I need blood tests before that test and blood tests before the surgery, but within certain time constraints. Ugh. My head hurts. Ironically. I’m supposed to be keeping a migraine diary but I don’t have migraines…I just have stress headaches and overwork headaches and body needs a massage headaches.

So that’s me this Wednesday. The first two days of the week seem to kick my ass. I wrote more referrals this week in those two days than I’ve written in the last two months. I’ve had two middle-school boy apologies, one stoned-out mumbling complaint and then acknowledgement, and one tantrum on Instagram (he was, not me) that concluded with my telling him to put his head down as I walked away with his computer. Let’s be clear…these kids are going to high school in three months. And they’re acting like 5-year-olds. I get it. Testing is hard. Growing up is hard. But so is dealing with their shit. 21 days. 21 days of my trying to feed my sanity with art and books and apparently yardwork. Yesterday, it was weed whacking, which is surprisingly restorative. So is watering and seeing monarch caterpillars…or protea blooming…or the new bushes I planted thriving. All good.

So. Art. The planter finally got to leather hard a week after the class (note to self for future reference…make it earlier). And I got the tool I needed in the mail, so Monday, I continued carving. I started in class, just did the basic outline of the face and arms. I haven’t finished carving out the background, so there’s still stuff that needs to happen.

But I’m really enjoying this. It’s really just drawing on clay.

You can draw in pencil first, because it will burn off in the kiln, but I didn’t. I just drew with the carving tool.

I see today that there are more details I could add before the next step, which would be adding color in. But realistically, this isn’t something I could sell easily. That’s over three hours so far in making the pot and carving, and I’m nowhere near done.

Carving vertically is a challenge. I did hold it a few times to get a part done, but it’s heavy. Definitely logistics for clay are very different than for fabric.

Definitely enjoying the process though. My brain has to work everything out inside it before I do it, so I’ll be driving to work, mentally working out how to paint this thing. I guess the pro is that I won’t get dementia because I’m overthinking everything under the sun. I don’t think my brain ever stops. Hence lack of sleep, right?

I did finally start cutting out the big quilt. She has a deadline now. Not that it changes how I’ve been working…an hour a night, sometimes more.

Thanks, Simba, for the assist. I set a little goal every week, every night. I want it all cut out and sorted before I leave for Maine next week. I figure an hour to cut out each yard (sometimes a little more, sometimes a little less) and there were 7 yards, so 7 nights? Plus a couple hours of sorting. Should be cut out by Monday, should be sorted by Wednesday. Easy peasy.

Thanks, Nova, for keeping that hip warm. You know, I worked until 9:30 PM last night…not 8. I even worked while I was cooking dinner…this after teaching a lesson on the negative impacts of multitasking in advisory yesterday. Whatever. Reality sometimes means doing more than one thing at a time. I can record videos while the food is cooking, before the next step. It’s true I forgot to empty the dishes out of the sink, but I did it later, after complaining happened.

Whatever. OK. Today. More tea. Definitely. I saw 12:49 AM last night. I must have fallen asleep eventually, but then I saw 4:45 AM too. So we’re thriving!!! Hmmm. Mghmghmgh. Maybe it’s Grhmgrhmgrhm. I don’t know.

Finish planning egg drop stuff. Make a table of contents for this stupid last packet of stuff I don’t even want to grade (and might not…don’t tell the kids). Probably meet and fix a bunch of things that sit on me until I shove them off. Play Blooket with the kids (although I need to edit that before school starts…ha! Maybe not). Call for a brain MRI. Not scary at all. Go to pilates. Good for the body. Good for the brain. Work some more (ugh). Not my night to cook, so do the dishes. We need a palate cleanser after watching Baby Reindeer…train wreck that. Ugh. Something funny but not stupid funny would be good. Or heartwarming. What a concept. Then cut some more pieces out. Read my book somewhere in there. Gotta finish it by Wednesday…maybe sooner. I think the library loan is up sooner. Double ugh. It’s a slow start so far. Someone was murdered 20 years ago. Not sure when she’ll get to the point.

Owls! No babies. But parents. And lots of threat noises last night.

It makes me sad that there are no babies…that’s at least two that have died. But they haven’t given up…

Dirty Windows

My windows are dirty. This is not a euphemism for something. My actual house windows are dirty. I see them every day and it’s on my to-do list to clean them, but then I do 5 things and the day is gone and I still haven’t finished everything, I’m still eating dinner at 8:30 because I didn’t start cooking early enough because I was grading things and making videos (I made 11 videos for school yesterday). I think I read my book yesterday. Maybe. A chapter. I know I didn’t shave the Man’s head…I remembered this morning that I was supposed to help with that. Oh well. He’ll do it himself. If only the windows would do themselves.

Busy weekend, but they all are. I actually slept in on Saturday until 9 AM. I mean, minus the dog barking and the Man opening and closing things. It was delightful. But apparently not enough, because here I am on Monday morning feeling like a truck hit me and maybe I need another three cups of tea before I’ll be functional again.

Let’s start with clay. I have this mug that was too big so it became a planter that I was making, just for fun, not art, and it was finally dry enough to either fire or decide what I wanted to do about glazing. Glaze is hard, but I wanted to try these glazes that are shiny after the bisque fire. So I remembered to bring the glazes to the studio on Friday (not enough room to store them there) and painted it…

Painting glazes is a pain in the ass…you need at least two coats, maybe three. We’ll see how this turns out.

Pro: it’s done. Con: I realized when I was done that it had taken me 2 hours. Another late dinner. Ah well.

I also traced…in fact, I finished tracing the Wonder Under last night…15 nights…

19 hours and 13 minutes…

7 yards and a bit…

I think I stayed up too late for all of those 15 nights trying to get an hour in, or last night, just trying to finish. It’ll be at least 7 hours to cut it all out, probably more. Lots of little pieces in there.

Saturday, I went to Visions with my quilt guild folks to see the new Latine exhibit there. There’s a design thing going on because San Diego and Mexico, so the museum had some new and different artists showing, which was nice.

Mely Barragàn…

Her piece Shallow Water Emerges Til Dawn…

Very much asks you to touch it. The chains were especially nice, dangling off the ends.

Chain fabric even.

Marisa Raygoza…

Emotional Support Rock…I’m feeling this one especially.

Tumble Dry

Some embroideries from her movie The Path of a Tear…

And some soft sculpture, although there’s nothing soft about a gun.

She Used Her Head As a Revolver

There were art dresses, which somehow I didn’t photograph, and weavings as well…

The most intriguing part of this piece, by Olivia Arreguin, Womb in a Dress, was the DNA she knotted into the womb.

Cool exhibit…check it out.

Also walked the dogs…was puppy sitting Annie…

We all needed a walk.

The path was really overgrown with flowers…

The two old guys were a little…um…panty.

Got my 3 miles in though.

Check out the glare on that cat…

Nova seemed very offended by Simba’s presence.

OK, well, I’m still reviewing science for the state test. The kids are rebelling against it, but whatever. They’d rebel against anything but naps and candy right now. Makes my life fun. Friday was annoying. Thank goodness for clay at the end of the day. Today will be different…I changed it up. Constantly trying to find different ways to get info in their heads…takes a ton of time and energy. I’m running low on both. Then staff meeting. Then clay again…not sure which piece I’m going to work on. Then cutting things out. Probably need to grade things in there too. Ugh. Or planning. That’s definitely a thing. This week is survival. Maybe all of them are. Well, I start teaching sex ed at some point, so that’s at least an attention-getter…but they’re all convinced they don’t need to do anything else for the rest of the year. Fun times.

Panic Friday

Hello panicked Friday. Have you seen my work to-do list? Yeah? Me too. I’m deep breathing right now. Literally couldn’t get through everything on it today if I could clone myself (and I wish I could). I wish my district could figure out how to say no to parents, but they can’t. I suspect none of them can at the moment. But when you do that, it all falls on staff to deal with…and I’m done. Yesterday was a clusterfuck of tiny fires threatening to be big ones. I put most of them out, and then after school, there were more…this morning, more…I either need to up my meds, stop sleeping, or call in sick for three days. Just to deal with stuff for a tiny few kids. Can’t deal with the large majority at all. If I stop taking time for myself, to make art, to read, fuck that, to eat and sleep and poop, well then I might get through it all. Deep breaths. Let’s hope that I’m efficient as hell today and get through a healthy enough chunk that I can do one fun thing this weekend. ONE.

Trace trace trace.

I’m 15 hours into the tracing…and just hit the 1300s. So I have about 350 to go.

Pretty sure my original guess was 20 hours.

Last night, I traced a barn owl, two bombers, and a bunch of bombs. Fun times. Oh, and the moon. I’m getting there.

I also stitched with friends, although I tore out the roof stitching 4 maybe 5 times.

It’s not like the picture, but it will be fine. This is the last house I need to embroider for this block of the month. Then the center piece (which is large) and put it all together. Then borders. Finished by 2035.

I was watering the other day, and saw these…

And this…

And this…

No time to water, plant, clean. Ugh. OK. Gotta go in and start dealing with all the things. Which includes some literacy meeting time. Ugh plus at least I might have some time to work. Maybe. We’ll see if I have the brain power for it. Clay after school (after doctor’s appointment). Then grade things and trace things. I’m really trying to carve out time tomorrow for a museum visit with my guild. We’ll see. Also a hike would be nice. Hanging out with the Man might be nice too.

We have both parents! But still no baby squawks. Me sad. At least they’re both still there. Presumably there’s eggs? More of them? They can lay up to 13 apparently. Get on it, you owls!