Not Far Enough…

This is my life right now. I got at least 6 major things handled yesterday. So far this morning, not really awake, I’ve handled one (it took 20 minutes. I fed the dog while I was dealing on the phone. Multitasking.). There were four things on my calendar yesterday that I re-calendared for today while I was sitting in a meeting at school. In fact, one just popped up, so I’m going to do that real quick…because it’s another thing I need for school. OK. Done. Trying to be efficient as well. But the quilting is suffering. I was really tired last night. I was so tired, I went to bed early, before midnight. Did it help? Fuck no. I’m still tired this morning. And really, I need to NOT spend all morning sleeping tomorrow, because I’m nowhere near as far in my quilting as I wanted to be by now. Dammit.

I hit 9 hours in last night, but only got about an hour and a half done total. I wanted at least two, closer to three. Not near enough. Will have to make up for that tonight.

Last night was lots of tiny fussy bits, which means all I really got done with the pubic area, the torso between there and the very bottom of the breasts, and part of the hand. Oh. And the lioness.

You can see the tiny stuff in the grass on her breast…I guess I made it onto the breasts…so slightly further up…but neither arm is done. One is barely started.

There’s a ton of outlining left and a significant chunk of background quilting. This is the view of what’s coming out the back of the machine…the part Midnight really wishes I would leave out so she could sleep on it and deposit large amounts of black fur.

Not happening, you little psycho. Plus you’re the queen of vomit, and I don’t need that right now.

Anyway. Sigh. So a lot of quilting is left. And I’m buried in grading of assignments. Progress reports are coming. And I had to plan/rewrite the zombie lesson in the last two days (but it’s done!). Plus I had a ton of meetings this week. I’m sure if I’d blown them all off, I’d be further along in the quilting, but all that alone time would be fucking with my head (like it will next week). When do I think I can finish all the quilting? I was hoping Sunday. I’m not sure that’s realistic…I’ll know better after tonight. If I rock it tonight, that will help. But I have stuff I have to do tonight as well…stuff I’ve put off all week. Plus a couple of things tomorrow.

This is reality. I set goals. I want to be able to do more than I can. I’m really tired of cooking for myself. I’m tired of having to cook at all. I can’t afford to eat out all the time though. I need something I can just grab quickly in between working, heat it up, and eat it. Yes I know that sounds like frozen dinners. I hate those. So I could make my own (takes time). I get tired of eating the same thing too though. I am going to figure this shit out. And everyone asks how it feels to have the kids gone. It’s shitty. Silly question. At the end of sewing for a long time, I stand up, I stretch. My brain says, “Who can I talk to?” The dog groans and rolls over. A cat meows. There you are. Furry things. A friend told me it took 6 months for her to get used to being alone, and now she doesn’t want to give it up. The kids are back in less than 6 months. I guess that’s a good thing? But I feel so disconnected from them. I know that’s normal too. Girlchild still answers texts. The boy? More sporadically. Nothing new there.

Whatever. Transitioning again. Maybe I’ll make dessert for dinner tonight. That’s real mature.

Overworked and Underpaid…

So the best-laid plans, right? I’m at 7 hours and 38 minutes into probably 20 hours of quilting. I have all of one figure done and I’m up to the pubic hair of the next one. She’s got some major detail above that, so it’s not a short amount of time left just in outlining her, and then I’m going to have to decide how to handle the background…which will probably take a significant chunk of time…the stitching part, not the contemplating part.

The legs in a bunch…

So I was at school trying to figure next week out. When you decide to rewrite lessons, it requires more work. More work equals more time. More time? Well I have to dig deep to find that (dig deep was my classroom motto yesterday. I made them read science content. I know. I’m mean. Horrible.). We’re trying to tie up the zombie unit and there are too many choices. And some of them I just don’t like. One thing we (OK, my co-teacher) actually paid for has typos and bad grammar and a concept that is just a little confusing, but it’s a PDF file and I don’t have a really good converter (aka I use the free stuff online), but I couldn’t let it be. I never can. I can never shortcut it, even when it’s in my best interest. So instead of starting to quilt before book club, I wrangled with this PDF file from hell and made up the stuff for next week, but I think I need a homework assignment as well. We’re meeting today to pull it all together…but I did spend a good 2 hours last night. And then went to book club. And came home and ate mashed potatoes because they were in the fridge and didn’t require much thought.

I did enjoy book club…but next month is Dracula and I really don’t want to read it again. Maybe I will just watch the movie, like I did in high school to get out of reading the story of King Arthur. I’m surprised my English teacher never figured that out.

But I only got an hour of quilting done last night. So that was a fail. Except not…just less than I planned. Tonight I have quilt class, but the thought of lugging all my equipment over and basically making a shitload of noise so no one can talk for two hours just doesn’t make sense. So I think I’ll take something else (maybe even grading) and pick up dinner on the way home and then quilt for three hours after. That will make up for last night anyway. And maybe I’ll have the second figure done by the end of that three hours. Except I might have to lesson plan tonight as well, dammit.

Midnight this morning…apparently it’s cold enough to curl up in the box…

and not splay out on the desk. It won’t stay that way for long…another baby heat wave is on its way through Southern California. So tired of excessive heat. This morning, it’s cloudy and cool and nice. I need more of that. I need to stop looking around the house and studio and wishing I had more time to clean. I need to stop looking at the to-do list that is taking over my brain. I need to stop trying to rewrite everything I teach. The new standards will do that to me next year. I need to stop taking on more than I can handle (ha! But some of it pays money and I NEED more of that.). Yeah well. This is how I roll. Overworked and underpaid.

You Probably Sleep More Than I Do

I’m a little braindead this morning. Apparently the Golden Retriever wanted to play at 3 AM. Or something. It’s like having a baby in the house. She’s making noise and waking me up, but I don’t know why. She didn’t want water. She didn’t want to pee (or maybe she did…it was raining. I know this because I was standing in it trying to make her go outside, but she wouldn’t. She made that mopey-eyed dog face that means you’re getting it completely wrong.). She brought me a toy.

I’m feeling a bit groggy right now. That’s an issue. I’m making kids work on the computer today…they actually have to READ stuff, like instructions and content. It’ll be a slog. It shouldn’t be, but it is. Yesterday, I had them typing answers to analysis questions. It’s so funny, standing there, total silence from the kids EXCEPT for typing keyclacks. And the few kids typing with only two fingers. Teaching has changed so much since I started.

I meant to start quilting relatively early, but got sidetracked by a pile of things that were have-to’s. Finally heard from the boychild, who is alive! A miracle. OK, I knew he’d text me when he needed something. I just didn’t know it would be the family military history. Which I have to admit to being fairly ignorant about (possibly on purpose). I was starting to worry/get irritated, though, so it was a plus.

I didn’t start quilting until 9:30 or so…again. Maybe I should just admit that quilting time doesn’t start until then? But I wanted to be doing 2.5 hours a day and I’m only doing 2. That doesn’t seem like much of a difference until you realize it might take me 10 days to finish the quilting instead of 7, and then I run into issues next week. I think I should make myself go buy the binding this weekend. Remind me, willya? I’ll get my head down and forget.

I still had one arm and the head…and I think one breast…to do on the smaller figure, so I was hoping to finish those last night. As I was quilting, I realized I did not do the best job pinning this beast. I blame the heat. I don’t really care, because it won’t be apparent to anyone but me…but it’s annoying that I couldn’t do a better job of it.

Midnight apparently hasn’t moved from the night before…wait, I think she flipped over.

Kitten is back on the chair. Must be cold. We were listening to the sounds of raindrops falling…that was nice. I think a branch fell in the night, but I haven’t gone out yet to look.

Finished her face and ALL those tiny damn windows. Love this head though.

And then moved back over to the other figure. I didn’t get far on her…just up one leg to the crotch. The other leg is about a quarter done.

Thistles and ivy. Tonight I have book club, but I’ll get my two hours in, at least…maybe more if I can find energy before the meeting. Although I should take the dog for a walk.

Someone said something yesterday about my having talent and energy, which was not a bad thing to say…I do have talent, but that counted years ago, when I was young. I spent 20+ years turning that talent into good work because I worked my butt off. It’s not magic. Using the word ‘talent’ makes it sound like magic, like I was just born with it. I didn’t stop making art all this time. It’s taken years of learning how I work and pushing myself to get here. I don’t have any more energy than you do…I just use it as wisely as I can. Teachers are always talking about balance, because we have to take work home and sometimes we take it home in our heads (OK, not sometimes), because we’re dealing with kids and their issues as well as the workload. You probably have more of a social life than I do. You probably sleep more than I do. Your house is probably cleaner. I live alone (except for the demanding beasts…oh and the kids on break). All those things contribute to my being able to find two hours a day to work on art that you don’t or can’t find. It’s not always a good thing or a healthy thing. Honestly it’s more than a bit obsessive and maybe even crazy at times. Certainly anti-social.

I have drive. I’m persistent. I don’t give up. I have an artistic voice that screams at me on a regular basis. But it does that because I learned to listen to it early on and I feed it with regular attention. Almost every single day. Anyone can do that. You just have to pay attention to it.

Genetics Followed by a Bit of Quilting

I managed to get in two hours of quilting last night after going to listen to a science guy talk about genetic engineering. It always sounds so good when you talk about curing diseases or conditions, but scary when you think about modifying food, or the consequences of messing with the other stuff. For all we know, without my diabetes genes, I’d be someone totally different. I’m thinking of the study they did on the foxes in Russia, where they linked fur color to tameness (along with a lot of other crazy things, like floppy ears). So there’s a risk in fucking with DNA…no cancer, but everyone is a ginger? Probably not a bad thing. Or we all have floppy ears. Somewhat goofier looking.

This week is crazy for meetings out of the house…wish I could spread them out a bit more during the month instead of having three in a week, but it doesn’t work out that way. I haven’t finished my book club selection, but I read it when it first came out in 2003 or so…Margaret Atwood’s Oryx and Crake. Read the whole Maddaddam series (more about fucking with genetics! A trend!). Definitely good stuff. Atwood has always been one of my favorite writers. I don’t remember what professor made me read (and then watch) The Handmaid’s Tale, but I thank them mightily. I’ve read everything she’s ever written since then.

It’s still warm here in San Diego…we were promised rain, but it’s been reduced to a tenth of an inch sometime today…much less than the half inch plus they said we’d get starting yesterday. It’s cool enough though that the animals are back in the office with me fulltime (it is one of the warmer rooms in the house). There’s a bit of competition for space, jockeying for position, although Calli is never on the desk or chair or table, so that’s a plus. Midnight likes to lie behind the machine though, even while I’m quilting.

You can see how close she is…you can even see when my machine was last serviced. I was looking for that label. Usually they put it on the inside so I can see it. Good to know I have some time before I need to take it in. Yup, I take it in once a year. I use this beast more than most people.

Calli inhabits the floor. If I’m lucky, she doesn’t lie right behind my chair, like she is right now. She was completely zonked out yesterday.

Too much excitement? Probably not from me.

I didn’t start quilting until 9:30, because I didn’t get home until 8:30 or so and then I had to eat.

Around an hour into it (while I was stitching down those tiny powerlines and electrical towers), I was yawning, tired, wanted to go to sleep. Nope. I need another hour. How about another half hour? See, my body does tell me to sleep. I just ignore it. And if I really had gone to bed then, odds are I would have been lying in bed for an hour, unable to fall asleep. That happened Sunday night and it was later when I went to bed. My brain really doesn’t get it.

Apparently bullying through makes you wake up (or the caffeine finally kicked in, hard to say), because I managed a second hour. While I’m sewing, I set goals…I’m going to get this part done…all of the left breast and the arm…

I did actually do that, but by then I was awake and it was more a matter of looking at the clock and reminding myself what mornings feel like with not enough sleep, and the fact that I teach 7th graders, which are more than a bit demanding of my energies…well, then I set a different kind of goal, like you are going to bed when you finish that left breast.

I just happened to sew a riveted heart and a bunch of nuclear plant towers as well.

I listen to myself about as well as my students do.

There’s a pin in the heart because I didn’t sew that keyhole down…missed it. So I’ll do it after I finish outline quilting probably. Sometimes I end up doing them at the end, assuming there’s more than one. I was going fast, so I wouldn’t be surprised if there were more than one.

So the first figure is barely started, the bottom border is completely done, and the second kneeling figure is done except for her (very complicated) head, right arm, and right breast. I need to do some writing tonight as well, but should be able to get her done and start on the other figure…because this is just the outlining. It’s quilting the background that’s gonna kick my ass. Dark blue thread on dark blue fabric, sewing mostly at night. Yeah! That’s how we roll.

Alone and Quiet…

Funny title for a post that starts out with an art opening where I was anything but. So yes, the opening was Saturday night and I think it went well…the piece is still hanging, so that’s a plus.

This is Empty Nest, 31″ wide x 200″ long.

At some point, one of my friends was trying to find my work (it was in the way way back, in the Education building) and someone else described it as the sexless Cyclops. I didn’t ask if the responder was male or female, but in case you didn’t know, we don’t need a uterus to have sex. And if you mean genderless, well there are ovaries and breasts, which implies at least a DNA-rendered gender. But whatever.

I have lots of pictures from the show, but not much time this morning (someone pulled a last-minute meeting AND I have a lab to prep for, which I already spent an hour at school for yesterday, but then left, because the alarm was going to go off and I thought I would have the 20 minutes I needed this morning. Never assume).

It was fun watching people experience the piece, since mine are usually on the wall. They stared, they walked around, they put their head in the hole…

Seeing it hanging and the forces upon it tells me that it should have been quilted, but I didn’t have the time or sanity left for that I think. OK, maybe the time. Definitely not the sanity.

Anyway, she’s up at Space4Art through October 10, so you should check her out if you like. This place is more about the openings then the rest of the month though. There were performances and there was music. And one piece had a little too much stress on it and might have fallen. But it was cool while it lasted. And a lot of people I knew showed up and that was also cool.

Saturday morning, I managed to pinbaste the new big quilt, which has to be done by the 28th at this point, because the photographer’s agreed to get it done in time. I found two fabrics that totally don’t go together for the backing…but they were the same weight and texture, so I don’t care. I wasn’t going to waste a good background fabric on the back of this one.

I laid the backing out and taped it to the entryway floor (after mopping it because the dog sleeps on it)…and then Kitten came and had her way with it.

I should have spent more time on the second taping down, but it was hot and I was tired, so I did it fast, possibly too fast.

I got everything laid out…

And spent an hour and a bit pinning it all down…it’s being fussy in the middle of course…

So that will be fun to quilt. And I’m fairly sure the backing wasn’t totally flat.

Oh well. I don’t deal with the quilt police. The quilting will make it lie flat.

And then I went to the opening and did life for a while…until Sunday.

And after 10 hours of work- and home-related stuff, I finally started quilting at 9 PM. Because Sundays are not mine. They are a planning nightmare. Too much to do, not enough time in which to do it.

This is slow quilting and quite meditative, which was good, because I think I’d spend too many hours alone and quiet at that point.

And though it seems that this is still alone and quiet, it’s actually art brain and it works fairly well until I finish and realize how alone and quiet I am. Sigh. The human brain is a pain in the ass.

I quilted for about 2 1/2 hours last night. If I could pull that off every night (and this week is a bitch for that…something almost every night), then I’d be done by Sunday. I don’t know if that’s really possible, but I guess I could toss it up there as a goal…

And then see if I meet it.

Meanwhile, meeting set for an hour from now and I still have to finish getting ready for the damn lab. So I’m outta here.

“go” bonkers

The plus with keeping data on how long it takes to perform each quiltmaking-related task is that when I am coming up against a really tight deadline, I know pretty well how much time it might take. This is also the CON with keeping that data. I think sometimes the realization of how many hours I need to put in before this or that date causes more stress than I need. On the other hand, not knowing also causes stress. Really, I’m just making stress. But that’s what gets the work done, so I’m going with it, and I don’t think it was a bad thing to overextend myself on these two projects, and when I was offered a copyediting job in the middle of it, I very realistically told them I couldn’t start until the end of September. I even emailed my photographer so I wouldn’t be freaking out at the end, so hopefully my dates work for him and I have all the time I can spare. Which isn’t much, let me tell you.

With that in mind, I was determined (but not positive I could do it) to finish stitching down the big quilt last night. You’d think I would come home and start sewing then, wouldn’t you? But part of being a teacher is grading papers, and I had given my students an assignment Thursday and Friday that was supposed to give me grading time, but they’re working like molasses, so it was more like babysit me on my computer day because if it’s not Snapchat, I can’t possibly figure it out without the teacher helping me (I really love technology…I do…except when I have to monitor 150 7th-graders on it). So I got no grading done, and this is just going to snowball on me if I don’t try to keep up. So I came home, popped my Game of Thrones DVD in (because who doesn’t grade to rampant death and rape and crazy shit…I watched PBS after that as a cleanser), and I graded for three hours before I couldn’t stand it any more. Seriously bad shit going on there…on the papers…sighs. Big sighs.

Then I ate. Because I have to eat. Then I came in here and realized the art show I was supposed to enter tonight had an 8 PM Eastern time deadline. Fuck. Well then. That ain’t happening. Whatever.

Time to stitch down. Even though it’s so hot in here that sweat is literally dripping down my face, back, everywhere, even with the fan blowing directly on me. Ugh. It’s cooler here than it was earlier this week, but it’s still muggy and hot.

Stitching down…I predicted another three to four hours…

And I was right. I had to do all of the larger figure from the knees up, including the bird. I didn’t start until just after 9 PM, so yeah…it was 3 1/2 hours and I didn’t go to bed until after 1. Someone should tell my neighbors that, because one of them was doing garden/yard-type stuff way too early for my brain, which made me pull the pillow over my head. Luckily, I had no dog this morning (yes, I share custody of my daughter’s dog with her dad), so the only wakeup call was Kitten, and she seemed to be fully aware that it would be a mistake to wake me.

At around 11 PM, I wasn’t sure I could do it. I was tired. But somewhere I found the extra energy I needed and kept going. It took 8 hours and 17 minutes to stitch this down…I can’t remember what I predicted. Ten hours?

The scary thing is I’ve been using last-year’s big quilt to estimate on this one, and I figured about 40 hours left before I started stitching down, and this one took longer to stitch down. Huh. I think I did my math wrong? Anyway, looking at last year’s, I’m estimating about 2 hours to sandwich and pinbaste today (longer than the other one because I will have to piece the backing), then about 20 hours to quilt it (2 hours more than the other one), and 5 hours to bind it. Now it might take MORE than that…but at least I can sew binding in more places than my house, right? Because I have some stuff on my calendar for this week (might have to ditch some of it). My goal is to be quilting as of tomorrow…maybe even today, but I have an opening tonight and I’m moving slowly today. But let’s say 27 hours left and my photographer just OK’d my delivering it on the 27th or 28th and photographing it in time for the entry. That makes two weeks basically. If you don’t see me in those two weeks or I cancel something you thought I might show up to (because there’s a fine line between working my ass off and getting incredibly lonely because I don’t talk to humans for hours or days on end…students don’t count), well now you know why. Although I do build in time on the weekends and during the week to be a social animal, because otherwise I might go bonkers.

“go” bonkers. Yeah. I know.

OK. Off this and onto the floor with pins. I hear Sion yelling…why??? Why not just spray baste like you did the giant-ass woman? Yeah. I don’t know. For one thing, I don’t have any spray baste. For another, I still like the pinning better. Crazy, I know. But those snot cans were driving me bonkers. They were the best option for that quilt, but I don’t know if I want to do it again for something big. Certainly isn’t happening today.

Can Do…

I could have sworn I took more than one picture while I was sewing last night. Apparently not. I was incredibly tired. So tired, I quit early and went to bed and zonked out. Same as before, getting into the sewing when it’s hot…ugh. I just can’t do it. Plus I had to enter a show. I’ll probably get rejected from one today, so this is like a karmic balance. Rejection? Enter a new one. So that took some time. I have so much stuff out traveling right now or in shows that I don’t have much available to enter…well, until today, when a few will get rejected, right? Yeah.

So the Ventura California Fibers show is up at the Ventura government buildings, 800 S Victoria Ave, Ventura CA. The opening is tonight from 5:30-7. Being in the buildings means it’s only open during government hours, Mon-Fri 8-5, closed weekends and holidays. You can see my piece Earth Mother for Ventura there…named because it had to be no politics, no nudity, no violence. I won’t be there. Can’t possibly leave school at 3:45 and get to Ventura on a Friday afternoon in time.

Then tomorrow from 7-10 is the Response opening at Space4Art. If you do come to see the 17-foot-long woman, go through the main gallery into the back yard where the food and stage are. There’s a small building with a funky sculpture in front of it. My piece is in there. I will be there. Although I don’t know that I will always be in the building.

And in Utah, Celebrating Silver opens tomorrow as well and the St. George Museum of Art. Awakening the Crone will be there. I won’t. Obviously. Because I’ll be here.

So yeah, there’s a lot of stuff going on. I do still think I can finish stitching this big piece down tonight. I just have to be able to focus as soon as I get home, instead of sprawling on the couch for an hour with a book before I do anything. It was easier when the girlchild was here, because SHE would be sprawled on the couch (genetics?) and I couldn’t be in there because I’d get yelled at. Or there wasn’t room. Actually, Friday was often the only day I could be there, because we were both tired, but it would inevitably turn out that I said something totally horrible like “How was your day?” or “Why?” and then I’d be out. And then I’d head for my studio/office. I should just pretend she’s there on the couch and not even sit down. I’ve joked about having this 17-foot-woman hang out on the couch with me at night when I’m feeling alone.

So I did eventually sew, but it was after 10…

I finished the kneeling figure. So I’m probably halfway done. I feel like 3 or 4 hours tonight would do it. I’m a little less than 5 hours in so far. Then I could sandwich it tomorrow and start quilting on Sunday.

It’s been so hot here lately that the dog has been cooling herself off in the pool. She goes in up to her belly and then wants to come back in the house. She gets mad when I dry her off (I don’t dry her completely), but I do it anyway. Except she apparently went in this morning and I didn’t notice. And then she walked through the whole house. I just noticed that. Sigh. Now she’s laid out in the entryway, damp everywhere. Oh well. This is why my house is not a showcase, right? Yeah. That’s it. Hopefully today is the last day of the heat wave. It did rain yesterday, enough to cool things down slightly, but not enough to make it actually cool.

OK. Survive the day at school. Come home and stitch. Eat leftovers for dinner. I can do all that.

Attaching Things Twice

Those in Southern California know the heat wave continued yesterday. Even with cloud cover for most of the day, it was stifling, sweat dripping from every pore, nasty-ass hot. Now the humidity is up as well, which makes it even more cloying. But it is better…like 3 degrees cooler. Seriously, I can feel that. I guess the real key is that I actually slept last night, although a motion-sensor light in my yard was on and only big things make it go on. Like people-sized big things. Maybe dog-sized. Possibly raccoon-sized. But I had Calli last night and she barks her head off if she doesn’t recognize a sound (reasons to have a dog rather than an alarm system…they know the difference between danger and a possum…although some will bark their heads off at those too).

But the heat and the 2-hour-long union meeting sucked all the energies out of me and I sat reading stuff on the web for a good long time before I stirred. And I did deal with some paperwork/email stuff too. Because I can do that sitting in a chair, staring at a computer, which is all I was good for. I didn’t start sewing until after 10 PM. Kinda crazy, yes. What can I say?

I’m still stitching stuff down. I didn’t finish the other body, but moved over to the kneeling one.

She has all the electrical towers and lines, which were incredibly fussy of course.

I have to stitch it all down because the Wonder Under won’t hold it permanently without some help. Attaching things twice. But it doesn’t take too long. I think I’m 3 1/2 hours in. I don’t know how much longer it will take, but I feel like it will be less than 10 hours easily. Here’s where a bunch of people email me their favorite fusible technique. Except this one really is the easiest. For what I do.

I had Calli and the Kitten in there with me (there’s a fan on)…

And I stitched for two hours before realizing I should attempt sleep because I do have to work during the day.

And I don’t have some cushy desk job. I have to manage 12-year-olds…their bodies and their minds. I have to make them work. It’s going to be a challenge today I think because we have the stupid Williams Act people coming to confirm for the 8th-plus year in a row that we have a book for every subject and every child (passing previous years apparently does not exempt us EVER) and yesterday the school website wasn’t working, and that’s where the online textbook is, so I might be kinda screwed…because kids won’t be able to get the info they need. Which sucks bigtime. OR I can have every kid walk over to the counter and pick up the book that is assigned to them only…pain in the butt. Things that don’t happen normally. Some school practices just drive me nuts…even when I know why they were instituted.

Anyway, I’ll be home late again tonight, but hopefully it will be cooler so I can stand sewing earlier. I want to get this sandwiched on Sunday, if not Saturday. I don’t have much time left to quilt and bind it. If I look at the calendar and the decreasing number of possible work days, that motivates me in a very stressful kind of way.

I did talk to the girlchild last night. She’s being amazingly brave and awesome and I’m glad. Although the mom voice popped out when she described splitting her lip on some guy’s pecs during a soccer game. You know, like it does.

I Might Be Melting…

Out where I live in East County, there’s about 10 days a year when it’s so hot it’s hard to sleep. I don’t have A/C. I have a bunch of fans. My house holds heat too, which is nice in winter…not so much in summer. And it’s summer here. In Southern California, summer comes in September and spills into October, at least in terms of the weather. The real summer wasn’t so bad. We had a couple days of holy burning in hell, but it’s been worse since school started. It always is.

So the last two nights were not sleeping ones, unfortunately. Last night, in fact, started with a baby lizard I found crawling over the edge of my bed, begging the question of where are all your brothers and sisters? Or your mom? I’m not sure how long lizards stick around to take care of their young. Usually not, but maybe this is a particularly maternal species. Luckily Kitten had left the room, so I captured the youngster and managed to get him outside with very little incident, although now I know I can open the door locks and handle with my pinky. I’m sure that will come in useful at some point…besides when I’m engaged as a lizard savior.

It’s hard to fall asleep, though, when you’re imagining the nest of lizard babies propagating somewhere around your head. Plus boiling temperatures. And then around 3 AM, Kitten starts rummaging around under the bed and the chest of drawers, making those hunty-chirpy sounds cats make. Dammit. Lizard nest located. I finally get up (because who can sleep through this?) and kick out the dog and cat, close the door, and start moving the dresser.

Nothing. Well, but fuzz balls, a folded up piece of paper that’s probably very important, a yellow pen, and some piece of trash. Yes, I pulled the dresser back over those items. It’s 3 in the morning. I’m not vacuuming. Or even leaning down to pick them up. I’m tired. No lizards. Fuck it. Let animals back in. Try to fall asleep with pillow over head after turning the fan up (I have noise issues). Hear cat rummaging again. Phone flashlight is ever so useful. Huh. She caught a moth. Well thank god. Just eat it, will you? Nope. She’s fussy. Not eating the moth. Just gonna play with it. At 3 AM. While you’re trying to sleep.

I have to admit that I killed the moth and carried it off, with Kitten chirping happily behind me. I vanquished it!

Try to sleep again. I know I slept at some point, because the alarms (yes, it takes two) were blaring loudly enough that they must have been going off for at least 30 seconds before my brain (which was still hiding under a pillow) registered the sound.

Aargh. I’m tired. And this is a long day, the first union meeting of the year. I won’t be home for 11 hours. And I’ll be tired. And it will still be hot, because however hot I thought it was yesterday? Today and tomorrow they have issued a heat advisory…you know, where they send out a bunch of notices on the news and whatever that it will be hot. Thanks guys. I wouldn’t have noticed. Not walking the dog tonight. Gonna sleep in the pool instead. I would if it weren’t for the bugs.

Suffice it to say that my eyes are still at half mast and I’m borderline cranky headachy. Hopefully my students will behave appropriately (ha! It’s a lab day).

Yesterday, I did manage some sewing. I can’t tell you how relieved I was to be working on this quilt again. It was hard to put it away to finish the other.

All I’m doing now is stitching the pieces down.

I have a rough estimate of time over the next three weeks to finish this, based on the big quilt from last summer. The stitch down should be less than 8 hours. I’m hoping to be done by Saturday. I think I have a big enough piece of batting and backing for this, so I shouldn’t have to go shopping until the binding (rough couple of months bill-wise). I’m guessing 40 hours overall to get it done.

I have until probably September 27? If I’m lucky? Aiming for before that of course, because the photographer needs time. I should probably email him now.

Here she is piled up on the machine.

I didn’t sew for long…started late plus it was hot plus I was tired from lack of sleep from the night before. The office is one of the hotter rooms in the house on these days. Even with the fan directed right at me, the lights are hot (someday I’ll replace them). I used to be able to open the sliding glass door and get some cross circulation, but there’s an issue with it now and I can’t get it to budge. If there’s a breeze blowing, it’s nice (unless I’m trying to iron tiny pieces down), but last night? Not so much. Sweat droplets dribbling down your face not so much nice.

But I’ve started the next step. I’m happy about that. The heat will be gone hopefully by Friday (or at least less than yesterday and today). We’ll probably get a few more heat waves between now and the end of October, when Autumn starts…or whatever that season is that has cooler temps, beautiful blue skies, and no rain. All the leaves already fell in the last windstorm. Plus we’re not allowed to water more than twice a week. It’s a miracle anything’s alive.

One cup of tea in. No sign of life. Except I might be melting.

She’s Hung…

So my head is in a new place. The piece is installed. She even has a name. And I have installation photos…photos that I’ll post after the opening. Actually, I think she’s a great photo opportunity…

One of the Space4Art curators photographing me photographing her.

Many thanks to Linda Litteral for encouraging me to propose for this, to also think off the wall (and onto the ceiling). And for helping me hang this beast on a hot day in a non-air-conditioned space, and for having water, because I left mine at home. It took two ladders, fishing line, nails, and the magical thread and needle she had in her car (I find that amusing…I’m the fiber artist. She’s a painter and ceramicist, but she had needle and thread.). And about an hour and a half later, we were done.

It was a relief to drive away from that. I was worried about how she’d turn out, about how she’d be in the space, and I think she’s fine. She’s awesome even. There are things I would change, fix, but then that’s always the way when we hang them. I wish I’d done this. I wish I’d done that. Here’s one: I wish I’d given her nipples. It bugs me that she doesn’t have any.

Anyway, the exhibit is called Response and it’s at Space4Art in downtown San Diego. The opening is this Saturday from 7-10 PM. There will be performances, soundscapes (some interactive), art, a food truck, and refreshments (whatever that means). And one crazy 17-foot-long woman quilt.

Here’s the official PR blurb: Space 4 Art’s biennial fall show focusing on artist collaborations returns with an emphasis on how art can be displayed in novel ways, viewed from different perspectives, and used to activate unexpected areas. Thanks to a grant from the San Diego Commission for Arts and Culture, Space 4 Art was able to support invited artists to consider new ways to re-contextualize their work, draw inspiration from the building and grounds to create site-specific pieces, and work together to create new and unexpected collaborations for Response. The show features sixteen recognized local artists from a variety of disciplines working around the theme of shifting perspectives and creating responses to the buildings and grounds of Space 4 Art, as well each other’s work. Response includes installations, immersive sonic environments, interactive pieces, dance, and musical performances – both inside and outside, on-stage and in the ground.

So I wish I could say I jumped right into the two projects that need finishing, but what really happened was planning for school and doing grades and inputting grades on the computer, and then some writing that needed to happen, and not a lot else. Plus I walked the dog a lot and it was hot, which kinda sucks my brain out. In fact, what’s strange is I don’t think I slept last night…at least I remember looking at the clock pretty much every hour and feeling like I’d just been lying there, wide awake, the entire time. Like my eyes wouldn’t stay shut. Like I’d had way too much caffeine. It was truly bizarre, and this morning, I kinda feel like I’ve been hit by a truck.

But hopefully tonight I will give up on grading early and start sewing, because if I don’t do that soon, I will be doing that crazy last-minute dance of 4 hours a day after work, trying to get it done, and being stressed beyond belief. I don’t need that. And yes, I do some of that to myself, but I honestly thought this was a cool opportunity, and sometimes when those present themselves you just have to say Fuck It and do them, because you don’t know when you will have the opportunity again.

So I did.