Filter Out the Noise*

Notre Dame…it seems you will be rebuilt yet again. I’ve seen so many people posting pictures of it in days past. I did visit Notre Dame, but was in those fussy artsy photo years, so if I have any pictures, they are probably of gargoyle-type things in black and white from my junior year abroad. It’s sad to see it burn, but I’m hoping enough of the stone and glass survive to allow it to be rebuilt. We humans are stubborn about our architectural symbols…so many of the big churches have been burnt and rebuilt multiple times. I wish we could show as much empathy for humans as we do for buildings…although this is a beautiful one, for sure.

The drawing for the next quilt is coming along nicely. It might be done today. It might not. I can’t show it to you, nonetheless, but suffice it to say, it has some imagery I’ve used before and some new stuff…because that’s always the way it is. I seem to only be able to work on it in the middle of the night, so that’s something. I wandered around it, staring at it multiple times during the day, but the stress of trying to focus on just one thing and get it done kinda got in my way. That was true for mostly everything yesterday.

I did run errands, mostly successfully. I did laundry and pulled the first round of clothing for the trip, now to be culled down to something reasonable. I am an overpacker. I admit it. I wrote out a very color-coordinated list of everything we need to take with us. Except I probably missed something. Today we try to make sense of that list. I have one medication that may not arrive in time, but it isn’t crucial. I still need to run a couple of errands today, including sitting in front of my school, waiting for the last 16 kids to show up with their Unit 6…I’m betting on the one who emailed me and no others. But they can’t say I didn’t try to help them.

We did walk the dogs too…it was too beautiful a day not to do it…

I meant to go to my quilt group meeting, but this happened instead…

And then I spent an hour or so with HTML code. Like you do. Still haven’t totally solved that issue…

This is all at Crestridge Ecological Reserve…

It’s further away, so we don’t usually go there.

But I’m on break, so there.

More flowers I never usually see…

The rain was good for that this year…

Looking forward to seeing some new landscapes in the next week…

Posting here might be more difficult…

I’m OK with that. No, I haven’t finished grading stuff. I have 10 things left to grade. I’m trying not to think about that.

I’m trying to think about the flowers instead.

Certainly they’re less stressful.

*Young the Giant, Simplify

A Lot of Art…

OK, well sleeping in is not a thing for dogs or the trash trucks or hangry cats or the weed-whacking neighbors. Apparently they don’t know it’s my Spring Break AND I stayed up way too late last night drawing because the inspiration finally smacked me upside the head, and I can’t show you anything until like July. So just know that I’m taking photos and there will be some pic-heavy posts in July explaining WTF I’m doing. Well, I’m entering a show I was invited to enter, and the jurors are all out there in my world, and they don’t wanna be swayed by seeing the stuff first, which I think is funny, cuz you’re totally gonna know it’s mine. But whatever. I’m willing to go along with it.

It makes it hard for the next two months though, because I usually post my entire process and that’s what I write about. I can still write about it, but it will be irrelevant pictures I guess. So I had a preliminary drawing I’d started for this piece a week or so ago, and then I cut the paper the right size the other night (that in itself is sometimes an issue!). Then last night, I started sketching for the final drawing and inked a good chunk of the structure of it. I still have a bunch of vignettes for it, so hopefully I’ll get those done today and tomorrow. I’m not really expecting to be able to start tracing Wonder Under before we leave, but I’d like it ready for when we come back. So drawing and numbering…

So here’s the rest of it. Today, I’m doing all the errands and shopping I need to do before we leave. I have to pack about 7 quilts to ship either before I go or right after I get back. I need to walk the dogs. I have a quilt group meeting tonight, if I can manage to get to it. I finished grading ONE assignment yesterday, so there are still 10 left to do. To be honest, that ONE was the biggest…and then I crazily emailed the 16 kids who didn’t turn it in and gave them a chance to not lose points…but they don’t check their email, so they’ll probably lose out. Oh well. I tried. Tomorrow will be about packing and food prep. Actually, there’s some food prep I’d like to do today if I can. We’ll see. The weather for the trip is finally looking bearable…no 18-degree temps staring us down for now! Still have rain and cold, but not as bad as it was going to be. We tested putting the new tent up last night at my parents’ house, and it was pretty easy. All good.

I meant to write yesterday, because we went to four different art exhibits on Saturday night, but I never got around to it. So here they are…first we went to Oye Como Va at La Bodega Gallery…the Flying Panther Tattoo family made all these. This is by Rob Benavides…here’s an article about him with some contact info.

In a totally different style, here’s one by Matt Howse…

And something different in the skull realm by Frank Chavez…

And this one by Thomas Fernandez…

Another by Frank Chavez…

I seem to like the graphic and highly colored ones the best…another by Rob Benavides…

And one by Marc “Beatle” Lindenmeier of Harry Dean Stanton in Repo Man. Good movie.

From there, we headed out to Bread & Salt for the opening of Warpaint, with Lynn Schuette’s work. A totally different vibe, but beautiful work…hinting at our trip that starts in a few days. I really liked this line of work…

She had a few different series of works in the building…

But the landscapes and this grouping were my favorites…

Beautiful work.

In Bread & Salt is the Athenaeum Art Center Gallery, where Alessandra Moctezuma was showing work with Hilary Paul McGuire in a show called Identity|Antiquity. I especially liked some of Moctezuma’s drawings and etchings…some political and more recent…

Some with kitchen implements…

And an older etching/drawing…a detail below…

Over by the print studio was work by Elena Lomakin…who did some collage with paper and other materials…

And then outside, there was this…Kenneth Capp’s sculpture, Rose.

You’d think we’d have been done by then, but there was one more, which would put us in a place where we could eat…at Visual Gallery+Design, an exhibit called Unfolding. I knew of two of the four artists…this is Sofia Silver’s Cosmic Eye…

And Laurie Nasica’s You and I, Highs and Lows, Down with the Current, and Le Tourbillon de la Vie…

Also Untitled by Melissa Walter…

I also liked Mary Juhn’s Memories…

And her Take It, My Love…

Then off to dinner, with this showing up on the walk…

Some people.

So what else this weekend? I delivered this, freshly ironed and with hanging hardware, for the Inside/Outside exhibit that will be opening at Art Produce on May 4…

And I don’t know what else I have…ahhh…grading on the deck…

And puppies…

Funky clouds at my parents’ house…

More puppies while embroidering…

Anyone who thinks embroidery is quick is nuts.

But it is relaxing…you’ll probably see a bunch of this going on for the next month. But now? Errands. Gotta go. Get it done. Yup. Now.

You Got Time, You’re on the Mend Babe*

Well I am officially on Spring Break. There was a definite feeling that a huge weight had dropped from my shoulders yesterday afternoon. Totally ironic, since I have like 7 things to grade in 4 days. And packing. And a bunch of art stuff. I certainly don’t feel relaxed at the moment…I think I have to wait until I’m hiking through a canyon to get there. We started the break with an escape room adventure…which started in a total dive bar…

Hence wine in a can. We did pretty well in the escape room…

Despite the scary additions. We managed to escape with 8 minutes to spare. Pretty good for teachers after the last day of school before break, which included a talent show.

We even came back to our rooms after school and had to get them cleaned up so hopefully they can clean them before we come back. They didn’t do it over Winter Break though, so I don’t know what to expect. Probably nothing.

I met the man for dinner, came home, and basically tried to be functional and failed. I did a little on this.

He’s just sniffing it. I’m worried I’m not going to have enough of the gray thread, so I’m doing those bits first, in case some need to be another color. Nine meters (is it meters?) sounds like a lot until you’re stitching with it. The plus is that it’s not very hard to do this.

So on my plans for today: finish the damn taxes. Start the drawing for the next quilt. Hopefully hear back from photographer on pickup of the other two quilts. Prep a quilt to be delivered tomorrow (it needs ironing and hardware). Start to seriously pack for trip. Grade a pile of Unit 6 (they’re quick and small). Input grades. I think there’s other stuff on the list that I don’t remember.

Here’s the paper ready for me to start drawing…

I’m going to make myself do the taxes first though. Hi guys…

There will be no sleeping in on the first day of break. OK. Taxes. Do them. Do them right. Move on. Maybe sit on the deck in the sun for a bit too. That would be good.

*Nathaniel Rateliff & The Night Sweats, You Worry Me

I’ve Placed Faith in Geography*

I’m on hold. This is not a philosophical statement, although sometimes life feels that way, eh? I’m on hold with my online prescription service because there’s been a problem with putting things in my cart, and I feel like that’s kinda rude on their part, judging my ability to pay for my meds, so I’m calling to fix that shit. Oh yeah, they’re not fixing that shit. They want me to clear my cookies, and I don’t do that for just anyone, assholes. The nice woman who is the interface between me and the web folks says that THEY say if I clear my cookies, it will only affect their website. OMG you fucktards. So untrue. Absolute bullshit. Sigh. So the other option is that I call back the next time it happens. Great. So that will be in weeks. Someone remind me to do that and have the TIME to call in and walk through something like that. Not happening on a school day, is it. It’s OK, I can order meds by calling, but they ask all these questions and want responses and I just don’t want to deal with that crap. Especially before tea.

Well good morning all! It is the last day before Spring Break, hallelujah, and I am ready for it! Nope. I’m not. Not at all. I did work my butt off yesterday and created all the posts we need for the project when we come back from break. And realized I hadn’t copied one thing that we needed. Oops. Fuck me. Then I delivered my quilts to the photographer, so I should have those back in the next few days. Deadline met! Then I headed out to San Diego Mesa College for the opening of Subterranean…here’s me and Grace Gray-Adams with our respective pieces.

As another friend said, they put the person who makes lint and the person who uses lint together. Nice. I had good feedback from people…so no one came up to me and said they hated them, which is always a plus.

I did have an interesting conversation about thread and holes from the needle with one man, who knew a lot more about sewing than most men (or even people) do. This show is only up until the 25th. That probably means I will need the boychild to pick up the pieces, because I might not be back yet. I’m not sure I have pickup info yet. One more thing for the to-do list. Sigh.

I was exhausted by the time I left the show. I came home and read for a while, then exercised, and then tried to be functional. This is an issue right before break. I’m mentally done and my body keeps telling me how tired it is. Meanwhile, we’ve been trying to get everything figured out for our trip. The plus is that the nighttime temps in Bryce have come up 10 degrees (still not enough). The minus is the snow has increased.

Well OK then. I’m going to obsessively watch this for the next week. I’m hoping it stays 28 and the snow goes away, but this is better than it was. Although 30-mph winds during the day is also an issue. Apparently the road is currently closed because of trees down on it. Worrisome. I think we’re camping under trees. IT WILL BE FINE. Dad came through on a passport holder that I can shove under all my clothing that is the right size to hold all my diabetes crap so it doesn’t freeze. As long as I have blood running through my core, that is. Which is the ultimate goal.

The man, meanwhile, is totally excited and hyped and into all this trip stuff, so he can go pack and organize everything while I race around with the to-do list and grading. Uh huh.

I do need to finish a drawing before I go, at least…if not start tracing. Last night, I managed to cut a piece of paper out that is the right size for that. That was all. Then I worked on the first embroidery for a while.

So far, so good. I’m using chain stitch and backstitch so far. I’m also keeping track of stitching time, because I want to know how much time I’m using (a lot more than you would think) for whatever I get out of it. Anyway. It’s also relaxing and meditative.

I’m already nervous about how much thread I’m using. I can only use what’s on the bobbin. It seems like a lot? But not? We’ll see. If I weren’t limited to 5 colors, that would be fun. So far, it seems to be turning out OK though.

OK, so survive day, which includes a talent show (ugh). Escape room with coworkers tonight (seems ironic in some way). Come home and attempt to function. Ha! Finish all the things on the to-do list before Wednesday at 6 AM (double Ha! So not happening.). Enjoy trip. Do not freeze to death, have low blood sugar three miles out on a trail, or break a leg. Or crash. Do NOT call Emergency Services. Have a good time! Finish my book. Or books. Stitch a bit. Draw a lot. Hike a lot. Take cool pictures. Don’t hang out with any 12-year-olds. At all. OK, that might not work. Campgrounds tend to have 12-year-olds. I’m gonna try though.

*Death Cab for Cutie, Gold Rush

A Few Hundred Needles

We’re closer to some version of sanity I think. The two quilts that need photography got packed up last night…it took about an hour to get all the cat and dog hair off the big one. To be honest, I found a cat sleeping on it more than once, so there’s that. I’m delivering them right after school…

Pretty exciting stuff. First two finishes of the year finally getting their pix taken. On to the next one! Sometimes deadlines are really annoying. But then they hopefully turn into shows, so there’s that. I have an opening tonight at Mesa College for Subterranean…two of my pieces are in that. I’ll be at the opening after I drop my quilts.

None of those details are mine. One of mine made the press release. I’m good with that. Hopefully I’ll have some show photos later today. The opening is from 5-7 PM.

I’m a little spacey this morning. Blood sugar was really low. I have no idea why. Well, I exercised after dinner. Not sure what else. I’m eating. I’m getting better about carrying food everywhere. I ate circus animal cookies yesterday (one of those cute little bags that only has like 5 cookies in it). That’s probably not it. I had a union meeting. It was a weak moment.

OK, so two more days of managing the exploding squirrels who are my students. They have work to do, but you know how that goes. It’s not just me being driven nuts by their inability to function…all of us are. Spring Break is late and we are all cranky. The different is that I’m still working. Ah well. Progress reports go home today. That should help. Maybe? There’s a fire drill this morning. Because they hate us? Who picks these days? People who don’t work in the classroom, that’s who. Idiotic.

OK. Well, I didn’t get much art-related stuff done last night. I paid my property taxes and my daughter’s college payment and I graded a bunch of stuff and exercised and meditated like a good girl and packed up those quilts and thought about the next quilt. I even looked at the drawing I had already started. I thought about cutting paper the right size. I even thought about what the right size would be. But I didn’t do anything. It’s OK. I’ll get there. Not particularly quickly. I have too much to grade to get anywhere quickly.

This guy. Asleep on my foot.

He’s a sweetheart, although we’ve been pulling these curly sticks from some bush out of his fur for days and he hates that, because they stick. On certain parts of his body, I just cut them out. It’s easier.

OK, go to school, live through fire drill and kids not working, get some grading done, hopefully don’t have to yell at anyone or lose my mind. Then deliver quilts and go to exhibit and wonder at the art. Come home and eat and do some stuff. Hopefully draw. That’s where I want to be. I might even embroider. It could happen. The only thing that’s stopped me so far is finding the appropriate needle. Ironically, because there’s probably a few hundred needles all over this house. Hopefully not in the carpet. Should I worry that my left eye is twitching? No. I should be glad that I got this late in the school year before it started up! Yaaasss!

Helps If I Have a Title

It’s all about checking off the to-do list at the moment. How much can I get done before we leave on our trip? How much can I get done before we go on Spring Break and I can pee whenever I want? How much can I get done in class today? How much can I get done in an evening? I made myself go on a walk after school yesterday, because after tutoring and the chiropractor, I still had enough daylight. And it’s good for me. It confuses this guy…

Yeah, that’s my dog. At my ex’s house. Don’t ask. He comes barreling out of the house to bark at me as I walk by, and then realizes it’s me and wants to know why I’m not walking him. Huh. Well sometimes I like NOT picking up poop.

This is the urban hike I sometimes do. It has a lot of weeds right now.

At least on this section. There’s a big hill at one end of it. Good exercise. Takes me about an hour. Then I can come home and cook dinner and get on with things.

I graded for a while and then realized how late it was and that I was supposed to finish the binding on that quilt last night, because I have a union meeting tonight and I’ll need to iron, dehair, and pack up both quilts, which is not a small amount of work for one evening. So I stopped grading (I like to finish a whole assignment if I can. I didn’t.)…and started sewing binding down.

Assist not needed, Satch. Yeah, I did the whole thing. I finished just before midnight. There’s a couple of embroidery stitches I need to do as well, but they won’t take more than about 10 minutes. So she’s done.

To the photographer tomorrow…and then I start on the next one. Which I can’t show you. Awkward. Seeing as how my whole artistic existence is focused on what the hell did I get done yesterday? Well. We’ll see how I roll with that. Might be hard. Lots of dog and cat pictures. Weird views of lines and piles of stuff that you can’t recognize. Wait. That sounds like about half the quiltmaking right there. I’ll be fine. First I have a pretty significant to-do list to get through today…starting with the last of the girlchild’s college payments. Yay! (don’t think about the loans. It’s OK.)

Feeling Fresh Like a Ziploc*

Somebody’s phone was buzzing with notifications last night and it wasn’t mine. It’s a weird world we now live in, where technology is so ingrained in our existence, when a mere 30 years ago they weren’t…maybe even 20 years ago? It means I’m a little tired this morning. Buzzing wakes me up. It doesn’t wake everyone up. My brain’s not fully up though. It’s wondering about sleep. Still. Forever maybe.

My progress report grades are done. Good thing because they’re due today. Before I finished them, we walked the beasts. I need a good walk on a Monday afternoon…

It cleans out the crazy shit in my head after meetings and kids.

It was hot though, almost 90 degrees. Ugh.

This time of year, teacher empathy is really at a low. I don’t understand parents or how they deal with kids. You look at really bad behavior and you know it doesn’t come from nowhere. This one kid is driving us all bonkers and parents made this. He’s a fucked-up mess and a bully and is being a general shit, when he’s capable of much more. But there’s zero parental support for that. We have 4 days until Spring Break, and then he’s not my problem for two weeks. He’ll still be my problem when we come back, but I can see a light at the end of the tunnel for that.

Trying to get the dogs to drink water while walking…they don’t like it.

The thing is, whatever jerk I have this year? I’ll have another one next year. And I’ll start out with a shitload of empathy and try to work with them, and at some point, I won’t have it any more. Or I’ll use it on another kid, a kid where it seems to have an effect.

It sounds really awful, but we are human and some kids are in need of more help than I can ever give them. At this point, I’m just managing behavior. His bullying is increasing because he’s feeling pressure somewhere. I’ll report everything I see and hear toward other kids…his need to bully adults though? That’s amusing. As a middle-school teacher, I always find it funny when they use the stuff they use on other kids on us. Talk about my clothes? Talk about my being chubby? So what dude. You’re not hurting a grown adult who works with kids all day with that shit.

It really was a beautiful walk. I managed to kick that kid out of my head until I did his grades. And then for the rest of the night.

I think it was too hot for the old lady though…

She was moving pretty slowly. The dog. And me, I guess. We let her lie in the water to cool off a bit.

See the tongue?

Pretty sure this was dead.

And LOOONG.

So after dinner was made (by me, to be clear) and grades were done (also by me), I trimmed the quilt and remembered to put the binding in the dryer and then put it on the quilt.

So a bunch of handsewing tonight and I’m done. Tomorrow I can iron and dehair both quilts and deliver them to the photographer, and then I need to draw the next one. I did one preliminary drawing. I need to do something slightly different. But I can worry about that tomorrow. Tonight I need to finish this. Before that, I need to go teach hotspots. And some of the kids are kinda like hotspots. They need our attention. Rolls eyes at encroaching empathy attack. Damn. It’s in me. I can’t stop it.

*Max Frost, Good Morning

I Couldn’t Hide from the Thunder in a Sky Full of Song*

I didn’t really disappear over the weekend. I just worked a lot. On everything. There’s significant progress, but I don’t feel relaxed. I’ll get there. I have most of my taxes done, except for one large task that I’m about halfway through doing. Teacher expenses. Pain in the ass to collect. But I need every penny. I got through grading all the makeup work, although as soon as I input everything, the kid emails started. Because they don’t believe it will be graded until it’s graded. So then they email me and tell me how they’re gonna fix things tonight, and I’m like, well, that sucks to be you for progress reports, because I’m done grading makeup work until next weekend, sweet thang.

Then we started trying to figure out our trip, beyond the panicked moving of one place to stay…mucho debate about the next place, because it’s cold. And snow. Or sleet. But definitely cold. And ice. And we are from sunny Southern California and do not do either of these things well. We knew we both wanted hiking pants anyway, and we had our REI dividends plus a coupon, so we headed out. And bought some warm stuff too. Plus went to my parents and found the sleeping bags and the tent we used two years ago (rain flap!)…and of course, we set up the tent in the living room, to see if the air mattress would even fit, because it never went in this tent…

And it does fit…so does the cat…

But it’s pretty tight…mostly because when it’s inflated, it’s pretty tall, and the sides of the tent go in, and it would be an issue with rain. Or sleet. Or maybe even snow…I don’t know, because I don’t think I’ve ever camped in snow. That’s probably not true. But I’ve blocked it out if I did, and now I’m old and the snow thing is really throwing me.

I was OK with the tent, but the man was not and went online and got something we could put two coolers, a fan, a chair, and a television into (not really, something about a guy in Louisiana and a storm, but the tent was fine). So that’s managed. Mostly. We need clothing that ranges from 72 degrees down to 20 degrees. Fun stuff. At the moment, the man is looking forward to this trip and I’m a little apprehensive. I’ll be fine. Just not right now. Right now, I have too much on my plate. I was trying to get shit done yesterday and he kept coming in to show me maps and pictures and other stuff, and I’m like, this is more than a week away I’m panicking about stuff for tonight please ok fine just say it and then I’ll make a noise that sounds like I get it and then I can work on what I’m working on which is due before we leave. Deep breaths.

I tried quilting Saturday before my art meeting (where I got more things to do), but the machine was being a cranky nasty bitch. There were a few of these…

And a whole ton of broken thread. I switched the needles, the position of the spool, rethreaded about a million times, put the sewing goo on the thread. Sigh. I came back and quilted some more at night, and it still refused to behave. It wasn’t until Sunday that I figured out that it wasn’t on the right setting for the foot I was using. I don’t know why it wasn’t…it was the last thing I did. I think? Whatever.

After that, she worked like a dream. Mostly.

Sunday, I pulled it off the machine, even though it wasn’t done, and went and bought the binding fabric, because I knew I wouldn’t have time later this week. Like today.

And then I came home and did more grading and cook prep and taxes and organizing and grocery shopping and I don’t even remember what else.

After dinner, I quilted. And quilted…

And somewhere around midnight, I finished quilting…

Almost 6 hours. Did you know that not last week, but the week before, I did 20 hours of artmaking? While working? I think that was the week I was sick too. My weeks have been nuts. But she’s quilted. Tonight I can get the binding on. I might even finish early. I have to deliver two to the photographer. I should email him. I said I would. OK, done. Emailed.

And then the next one needs to get drawn, but you won’t see that one. You might see these getting done…

Although not until this binding is done. I have six to do. That’s a lot. I might let friends do some of them, once I’ve done one. We’ll see.

I miss this kid. She hasn’t sent me a photo for her graduation announcements. I’m thinking of using this one.

She’s a Leo, in case you were wondering. She really is a Leo too. I’m a Pisces, but sort of atypical. I live with a Capricorn and a Cancer. I’m not counting the dogs and cats. OK, well, I’m going to continue to pray to the no-snow gods and to try to finish shit and exercise and read my book and not panic too much and keep my cool with the kids who are gonna tell me It’s Not Fair for whatever reason. Did I mention grading All the Things? Gonna do that too. Oooohhhhmmmm.

*Florence + the Machine, Sky Full of Song

Pseudo-Zen

By lunch yesterday, my morning pseudo-zen was gone. There was a kid involved in part of it, but I just removed him from the equation. Mostly it was a stairstepping of tasks that kept coming at me through email. Do this, approve that, don’t forget this thing over here, that reminder just went off but you’ll have to reschedule it so you can EAT. or PEE. All the things eventually got done. Or rescheduled. Because sometimes that’s all I can do (you should see tomorrow’s to-do list). I did finally finish grading the giant project from hell (there were 8 different pieces to grade for each of my kids, although with only 66 videos to watch, a lot of them had multiple kids in them, so a few less on that one piece). I do need to go in early today and do all the grade calculations. Math. Ugh. But there’s progress. There’s always progress. It just feels like at the moment that I will never ever be done. NEVER. Welcome to the last trimester of the school year.

I should have my car back today. Finally. Oh hallelujah. And he thinks he’s solved the problem. Also yay. I went to bed early last night so that I would hopefully have some extra sleep behind me for the day, but that didn’t really happen. I aim for 6 1/2 hours a night, and recently, with the stress and who knows what else yelling at me, I’m lucky to get 5 1/2 interrupted. I’m not the only one though, so I know it’s not in my head. Spring Break is super late and the kids are amped and freaking out, and it makes our lives more difficult. Today I will have a parent shadow in class for a kid I asked to be removed for today (some legal issues there that I’m letting slip for today, hopefully for the greater good). It’s fine. Things are going.

I came home yesterday and was home for about 3 minutes (long enough to pee, trap a cat, and do my Imperfect Produce order with the boychild)…because this one has a persistent eye infection that hasn’t been solved yet.

We think we’re on the right track though, so that’s good. But I was so exhausted waiting for all this…didn’t get home until almost 6 PM. Ugh. Should have taken food with me. Blood sugar. Sigh.

Then I did a bunch of stuff. Answered all those emails that were pestering me during the day, tried to manage some money for the girlchild…finally the last college payment! Well, except for paying off loans, but we did it! We got two kids through college! Now to get them gainfully employed (their shit, not mine) and happily ensconsed in life. Or something. Less stressed than I am, maybe. Good luck with that. I don’t even remember most of what I did. I do know that at one point, I had three devices I was using at once: watching the last of the kid videos on computer, texting co-teacher on phone, and half-watching Jurassic World on the TV to keep me awake. I finally gave up on the last one.

I am trying to set up a way for people to buy posters of my work…turns out there’s some wild and crazy things I could also print quilts on…

I’ll let you know how this goes. I ordered one of them to see how it looks before I go live.

Oh yeah, I cleaned the floor while dinner was cooking. And then I pinbasted…

That was on my list.

And now it’s done. And then I meditated. Which maybe helped? And maybe didn’t. Hard to say. OK, lies, it always helps. And I have 14 minutes before my ride to school leaves, so I’m going to go do all the things so I can go there and finish shit and hopefully have some relaxing time at some point in the future that I can’t really see at the moment. Plus start quilting.

Oh My Kiss Breath Turpentine*

I just read someone else’s blogpost this morning and now my brain is like sludge. Probably it has something to do with being up too early for my brain, but school is like, Hey, you should do lots of early meetings. Other people like early meetings and they need you to be at them too, even though you are a cranky-ass bitch in the morning and you don’t even like talking to people until maybe 10 AM but you have to be at work at 8 today and you have a headache and aren’t particularly recovered from your hellish cold, and sometimes you just get tired of being responsible and caring about shit regarding your job and you consider what it must be like to have a job where you come home and you don’t worry and plan and continue to work, even though you’re not getting paid. Really, all those words are in my head way too often, but as it gets later in the school week and the sleep deficit gets larger, your brain starts punctuating those thoughts with groans and sighs and requests for long lie-ins in bed.

Oh brain. You’d think you’d have figured me out by now. I’ve got plans. Some things I have to do (today’s morning meeting, tomorrow’s morning meeting)…some things are optional, but don’t necessarily feel that way because you do have obligations to people…you don’t really hate people…it’s just that being with people sometimes means having to do things you don’t really feel like doing, right? And I know people feel the same with me, so I try to minimize that shit and remember my duty to the human race and be a contributing part of the things in which I’m involved. That’s a lot of words explaining why I have to go to the grocery store again tonight. Somehow. In between a cat to the vet and potentially (hopefully?) finally getting my car back. My mechanic offered to come on our trip to Utah in two weeks if he couldn’t fix the car. Nice one. Awkward though.

Speaking of our trip, we start out in Zion National Park. I follow Zion on Instagram, which is where I found out that they’re closing part of the road through the park for three weeks, starting next week, to do a major repair after all their rain this winter…the same rain we got. Fuck. We have a reservation on the east side of the park. So that means a 3-hour, one-way trip to get to the west side of the park from there. And they have a shitty cancellation policy, although I’m calling this morning to try the manager, even though I’m sure they will say the same damn thing, and then I will come back on here and tell you their name so you can never stay there. I did already reserve some weird place on the west side, just to cover our butts. It was a frantic search for about 30 minutes or so, and that was after 20 minutes for me to realize holy fuck, this isn’t going to work. Don’t even ask me about Bryce right now. I think we’re going to freeze. We’ll be fine. FINE DAMMIT. Laughs hysterically. Next year, we go somewhere that has no bugs, caterpillars, or snow. Really. Maybe. I don’t know. There’s the excitement of a trip and then the holy crap what was I thinking this sounds awful and then the real life this is awesome part of it. I’m in the holy crap stage. I’ll get over it. No worries.

So I got home yesterday after school…and I dragged my mostly well ass out with the dogs…

OK. I’m not mostly well. I’m sort of well. We had a little rain yesterday night, but not a lot. It’s crazy how much the grasses are growing; it seems like a foot or two in just a week and a half.

The coyotes must be loving the hiding possibilities.

The flowers are still going crazy.

I spend most of my day trapped in a building with 140 12-year-olds. I need this. I need outside and air and plants and moving fast and dogs and water and green stuff or brown stuff, but moving and my knee complaining and all this crap.

I do want to know if there’s ever a time that this little puffball of a flower thing is covered with those little purple flowers, or if it just does a few at a time.

It’s important shit. Must know. I also meant to look up the caterpillars that are everywhere. Oops.

We went and looked below the bridge…lots of trash unfortunately. And the requisite graffiti…you dickheads.

But still pretty. And calmer than it has been. Calli likes water…

Simba does not. We traded dogs today. Simba was perturbed the entire time. Whatever, dog. So that felt good. I cooked veggies for dinner, because the main man is not a veggie person. I got him to cut some up once. I don’t count potatoes. He will cut them up because he eats them. But other veggies? Nah. We ate dinner, I graded something (!). I know you’re shocked. I was actually trying to grade videos all day…I got another 19 or so graded throughout the day while trying to manage kids making posters…some classes were totally on task and some were needy as hell. As always. I was going to come home and get through another 20 videos (because I still have a ton to do), but then Zion happened and I lost all that time.

I finally got in there and finished the stitch down. Two and a half hours total…

It was late, though, so my original plan of getting it pinbasted last night did not happen, unfortunately. Tonight…and start quilting. But also grade and car and cat to vet. Ha! Not sure how all that works. Not worrying about it now. But I am so happy with this quilt. It’s beautiful and I’m happy with it and I’m glad it exists. That’s the best part about the making is the finishing part when I see it all and I’m just staring at it and thinking, that’s so beautiful or powerful or just what was in my head and that right there might be my purpose on the planet outside of all this other stuff.

Ah, so philosophical. Then I sat down on the couch and tried to meditate (oh so many interruptions, including this sweet one)…

And then sleep. Actually slept last night, so that’s good. It was exercise or later-in-the-week exhaustion or meditation or a combination of all three. I don’t really care, because it felt good for the 5 1/2 hours that it happened. More of that tonight, please. May today repeat the good and helpful things from yesterday and minimize the assholes (ha!) and the adding to my stress levels. I can move the cat appointment if my car is fixed (please let my car be fixed). And let’s get quilting dammit. I’ve got a deadline to meet.

*R.E.M., Crush with Eyeliner