Pseudo-Zen

By lunch yesterday, my morning pseudo-zen was gone. There was a kid involved in part of it, but I just removed him from the equation. Mostly it was a stairstepping of tasks that kept coming at me through email. Do this, approve that, don’t forget this thing over here, that reminder just went off but you’ll have to reschedule it so you can EAT. or PEE. All the things eventually got done. Or rescheduled. Because sometimes that’s all I can do (you should see tomorrow’s to-do list). I did finally finish grading the giant project from hell (there were 8 different pieces to grade for each of my kids, although with only 66 videos to watch, a lot of them had multiple kids in them, so a few less on that one piece). I do need to go in early today and do all the grade calculations. Math. Ugh. But there’s progress. There’s always progress. It just feels like at the moment that I will never ever be done. NEVER. Welcome to the last trimester of the school year.

I should have my car back today. Finally. Oh hallelujah. And he thinks he’s solved the problem. Also yay. I went to bed early last night so that I would hopefully have some extra sleep behind me for the day, but that didn’t really happen. I aim for 6 1/2 hours a night, and recently, with the stress and who knows what else yelling at me, I’m lucky to get 5 1/2 interrupted. I’m not the only one though, so I know it’s not in my head. Spring Break is super late and the kids are amped and freaking out, and it makes our lives more difficult. Today I will have a parent shadow in class for a kid I asked to be removed for today (some legal issues there that I’m letting slip for today, hopefully for the greater good). It’s fine. Things are going.

I came home yesterday and was home for about 3 minutes (long enough to pee, trap a cat, and do my Imperfect Produce order with the boychild)…because this one has a persistent eye infection that hasn’t been solved yet.

We think we’re on the right track though, so that’s good. But I was so exhausted waiting for all this…didn’t get home until almost 6 PM. Ugh. Should have taken food with me. Blood sugar. Sigh.

Then I did a bunch of stuff. Answered all those emails that were pestering me during the day, tried to manage some money for the girlchild…finally the last college payment! Well, except for paying off loans, but we did it! We got two kids through college! Now to get them gainfully employed (their shit, not mine) and happily ensconsed in life. Or something. Less stressed than I am, maybe. Good luck with that. I don’t even remember most of what I did. I do know that at one point, I had three devices I was using at once: watching the last of the kid videos on computer, texting co-teacher on phone, and half-watching Jurassic World on the TV to keep me awake. I finally gave up on the last one.

I am trying to set up a way for people to buy posters of my work…turns out there’s some wild and crazy things I could also print quilts on…

I’ll let you know how this goes. I ordered one of them to see how it looks before I go live.

Oh yeah, I cleaned the floor while dinner was cooking. And then I pinbasted…

That was on my list.

And now it’s done. And then I meditated. Which maybe helped? And maybe didn’t. Hard to say. OK, lies, it always helps. And I have 14 minutes before my ride to school leaves, so I’m going to go do all the things so I can go there and finish shit and hopefully have some relaxing time at some point in the future that I can’t really see at the moment. Plus start quilting.

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