You Got to Take a Little Dirt*

One of the hardest parts of doing a commission is keeping the hypercritical voice out of the back of my head. I know I’m good at picking fabrics and colors without even thinking about it, but I have to shove that other voice down when I’m making something for someone else. Even if all they said was “make it purple” and they’re totally happy with everything I do (one owl I think?), I still try to think too hard about it. I can’t stare at every fabric and wonder if it’s OK…I have to turn off the thinking part of the brain and let the art voice take over. OK, it sounds crazy when I put it like that…but seriously, I really do have multiple (apparently nutsy cuckoo) voices in my head that speak up constantly. I entertain the supercritic with whatever’s playing on the computer. It leaves art brain plenty of room to meditate about the range of turquoise fabrics (and wonder why I have so many blues that are NOT turquoise dammit).

So last night, I sorted all the Wonder Under pieces. I could have sworn I took a picture of that, but no. It’s not there. So now I’m taking pictures in my head and not in real life. Not surprising really. I’m totally waiting for the brain upgrade that connects my phone and my brain. ANY DAY NOW.

Then I cleaned the office/studio…put all those fabrics away. That was pretty easy. I cleared the table and the ironing board, and then tried to find the other towel I use for ironing. Huh. Well. Some kid actually used it when they were home…because I stored the clean towel in their bathroom. Logical. For me (it’s closer to the studio). I guess it looked like a normal towel to them…not an art-ironing towel. It does actually have some over-ironed bits on it (um, we call that burnt, right?). So I had a choice…wash it and wait for it to be dry (an hour and a half?) or say fuck it and use it.

Well I think you know me well enough to know what I did. It’ll be fine. I started by finding all the pieces that were ocean in the world at the bottom of the drawing…there were quite a few, all spread out in the first 200 pieces.

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My setup…drawing hanging where I can see all the numbered pieces, ironing board, table behind me with all the Wonder Under pieces laid out, usually 100 at a time, but 200 last night because I needed all the ocean pieces. There’s fabric all around…you can only see the closet and one wall. There’s fabric behind me and next to me. There’s fabric everywhere! Well. No. That’s not true. There’s small areas with no fabric. They’re called bookshelves. Also I try to keep fabric away from the computer. It doesn’t like that much insulation.

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The first batch of pieces ironed and ready for trimming…there’s going to be a lot more.

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And a lot more colors too. The dark spotted fabric I bought twice…so that means I have to use it. It’s fate! Plus it’s an awesome fabric. I might use the more purplish section of it in the sky even.

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Odds are I won’t get much done tonight. I’m hiking after school. It might be crazy, but I miss hiking more than I am at the moment. It should be cool enough, because it’s gonna be dark. But it’s not a short hike. I know yesterday I hit 10,000 steps sometime during the school day…today is not a lab day, so it should be a little less taxing, but it does push me to try to hike during the school week after walking that much during the day.

I guess I like to push myself. Funny, though, I only remembered doing this trail once, but we’ve done it twice…once up the front way and down Fry-Koegel, and once the other way around. Once in January 2016 and once in June 2016 (way too hot, kicked my butt…that’s the one I remember). So we’ll see how I do tonight. At least I’m not hiking with the kids this time…they go FAAASTTT. I don’t think I have fast in me right now.

*Tonic, If You Could Only See

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