Nobody Knows Me at All*

OK, I finally woke up without my eyelids twitching…that’s a good sign. Still coughing some. Still feel like warmed-over crap. Still tired as hell. That will work its way out, although not any time soon, I think. The heat is not helping. I don’t do well with heat.

Yesterday, everything took way longer than it should have. I set up the copyediting job…although I have yet to start. Today! Today I start! I don’t know why my brain refuses to get there…the heat and tiredness I suspect. But I need to start in case I end up on a jury next week.

So this is not my studio or my computer. I drove up to Miramar to another artist’s studio because she had the program I needed to edit the catalog for the next show.

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Lots of fussy little changes…and there were too many unanswered questions. I had to leave it. I’ll go back tomorrow to finish up. Pain in the butt…but it needs to get done.

Then I came home and pinbasted the first of these…which went OK. It was a pain getting pins in the interfacing. I thought about spray basting it, but would need to get that shit online and I can’t wait for that.

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I started the quilting, just in the ditch. Manhandling these is a pain as well…although it worked out OK in the end. I just got hot and tired and quit. I’m not doing a lot of quilting on these…just enough to hold them together. Remind me to do an easy fusible binding. I’m not even sure I’ll be able to sew the two halves together…this stuff doesn’t squish or roll easily. I have an idea of how to do it. We’ll see. Hurts my hands to do this though…can’t grab on and the pastel is coming off still. Maybe I should spray again now before I start quilting again.

I sat around for a while before I worked on this…some lazy daisies and cross stitches on the right in a greenish yellow. I feel like I should put another thing in, like the tree or the hand or the eyeball. Not sure why I feel like that. I think I need a focus.

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Not for the piece’s sake, but for mine.

So I went and got these copied, but I wasn’t thinking clearly. I need a finished size of no more than 24″. The sketchbook is 14×17″…so 200% is too big. I didn’t get far in the cut and paste before I realized it was too big.

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That was a fuuuuck moment. So that’s on my redo list for today…along with all the things I didn’t do yesterday. Plus remembering to eat lunch. Because that was an issue yesterday. Honestly it’s an issue today because I’m going to get my eyes checked (good thing the twitching is gone) for new glasses. And I’m supposed to leave in 23 minutes and I haven’t eaten anything. Nothing sounds good. Nothing sounds even edible. The heat really fucks with my ability to do anything.

I sound cranky. I feel cranky. It’s summer. I wanna be making art, my own stuff, whatever I want. And I can’t. YET. Growth mindset (that’s a teacher joke). I’ll get there.

Kitten enjoys all the things in my studio that she can lie on.

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I only got one thing done on my to-do list yesterday. Fucked up day. OK. Today I will do better. Besides the glasses, I have three things I can absolutely do, and maybe a fourth. Plus the next community quilt laid out and pinbasted. I feel like I need more room to quilt…but that’s not really an option in here. It’s just crowded. Ugh.

(OK, here’s an example of how crazy I was feeling yesterday. I was on my way home from the studio and the copy place, spent ages in traffic yesterday, and I was following this woman who had obviously been to Costco and bought toilet paper, which is one of the things on my list. I hate Costco. I really do. But we’re running out. And that’s easy. So I’m sitting there behind her at a stop light and wondering if her doors are locked, can I just get out of the car and run up there and steal the toilet paper and drive off with it. Luckily it was too hot for me to get out of the car for any reason.)

It’s OK. I will get through all this stupid angst and onto the stuff I love. I will get enough sleep. I will get rid of this cough. I will check stuff off the to-do list. The heat will ease. Hopefully.

*The Weepies, Nobody Knows Me at All

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