When All You Do Is See Me Through*

Drawing is a weird thing. Something it just flows right out of me, the line barely lifting to move to another part of the paper. It’s like being possessed by the pen and my brain, a direct connection from one to the other…I’m just the physical entity that holds it and directs it. I can hear art brain mulling about where or what next, but there’s no delay.

Then some nights, the first part is quick and then there’s a delay. I get the eyeballs in and then I stare at the paper. I stare at the holes, the openings, the empty bits, and my brain fills them in, directs me to put the pen there and draw that. Look that up, because you’re not exactly sure what it looks like. I always have to look up the Earth…to get the continents sorta right. They’re never REALLY right, but I try. Sometimes I don’t. But mostly I want it to be recognizable as our planet. I want the lion to look like a lion. Obviously I don’t care as much with flowers and birds and fish, because I make them up all the time. I think it’s because I’ve drawn them longer…so I can improvise easier. Maybe when I’m 90, I’ll have the continents down flat and lions will be everywhere. Or maybe I’ll have forgotten all of it, and you won’t be able to figure out WHAT I’m drawing. That might be interesting…if I can roll with it and it’s not frustrating.

So I currently have a whole barnful of images poking at the edges of my brain, wanting out, begging to make it on paper and be chosen to become fabric. That’s almost harder, because I can’t concentrate on just one thing. So I sat down last night to figure out one drawing that I know is coming up by the end of May, and that’s not that far away. So two things I know: (1) It’s small and (2) I don’t have much time. Well obviously I don’t always make good decisions about the “it’s small” thing, because I put a million pieces in a small quilt. And time. Sheesh.

I TRIED…but about halfway through the drawing…no, not even that far…I realized this was not the drawing for that piece. Because it had way too much detail. And it was all over the map. I had a theme I needed to work for, and I know I could make it work, but I can’t do all those tiny little pieces and get it done in time.

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But it’s OK, because I’m kinda reveling in the ability to just sit and draw. This one’s not done, but it’s going somewhere…interestingly, it’s not going where I need it to go for any of the upcoming deadlines I’m considering. I think. There’s one a ways out…

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Climate change is obviously on my mind. But so are gender issues. The world is such a troubling, disturbing place at the moment, at the same time it is absolutely wonderful and amazing (Thank you France for restoring my faith in humanity at the moment).

This drawing did not come easily…it had to be wrested out of me. Sometimes it’s because I routinely draw the human figure, so how are they not all the same? I have to be conscious of that. But mostly it was that staring into a blank space and trying to decide how to fill it. I don’t like blank space (obviously). So there’s more coming out of this drawing…somewhere.

I did also work on the creepy hand…

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Someday I’ll go back and fill in the black spaces that are still there. But not today.

Puppy slept a lot. He doesn’t like rain, plus he has an owie on his foot that he won’t let me see…

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And it was cold and rainy…not his favorite weather. I was OK with it once I was done running around and doing stuff. I cleaned out two drawers and two cupboards as part of my Spring Cleaning into Summer campaign. I’m not sure why I had half the stuff that was in there…but I did. Sure, I could have graded something instead, but eh. No. I couldn’t have. Balance.

*Tears for Fears, Pale Shelter

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