No Time Has Passed

I have a new computer. It’s still restoring all the stuff from before. It was at 12% when I went to bed last night and it’s still at 12% this morning, like no time has passed. Granted I feel the same way about the amount of sleep I had last night. I know I went to bed at the appropriate time for whatever time hell we’re in now, but I was still out of bed in the early dark feeling like I hadn’t slept. So maybe the computer feels the same way. It’s gonna be a rough week, for me and the kids.

This weekend was my 58th birthday, and I did my best not to work. There’s some level of having to pay for it during the week, but the week is already a shitshow, so I probably won’t notice much. What did I do? I read, I made art, I went on a short hike. All good.

Simba appreciated it. Maybe.

It was a little closer than I like to be to coyotes, but it reminds us that they are always there.

I did a little ceramics on Friday. I was tired though. There’s a bunch of stuff going on her arms.

Fun times. My glazes came in Friday as well, so that’s hopefully what I’m doing after a two-hour staff meeting after school. Ugh.

Friday night I finished tracing…

Four yards (just under) of Wonder Under. I spent almost 4 hours cutting stuff out this weekend…

And not a lot else honestly.

There are never enough hours in the day. I did a little yard work; I have bulbs to plant. but I quit when I accidentally trimmed a branch with a hummingbird nest and broke two eggs. Mom bird had lots to say about it and I felt (still feel) horrible, so I quit. It’s spring! Don’t kill baby animals. If you can. I was actually trying to avoid another thing that looked like a nest so it felt even worse that I fucked that up.

I had two dinners out, which was nice, and got a pile of books to read and my mom’s stash of silk ribbon, which is fun, so that didn’t make up for the hummingbird babies, but I also found out there’s a grove in Humboldt named after my Great Great Aunt Bertella who was an obstetrician, so we’re totally visiting that over Spring Break.

Government still sucks, if we can call it that. Our National Parks are at stake here. And people’s lives. Sigh.

I am coral. Ok, gotta teach and professionally develop and clay.

Paper Towels!!!

Yo Friday, I appreciate you. It’s been a long week. Eye issues, kid issues, but grades are done! So I’m not working this weekend…it’s my birthday. I’m gonna hike and read and make art and go out to dinner. And try not to think about school…although next week is not fully planned, nowhere close, so I’m freaking out a little bit. Ah well.

I’ve been tracing Wonder Under all week…I should be done tonight.

Crazy ass butterfly…did not number it well. Brain must have taken a break.

Last night, I had a stitching Zoom meeting, so I got two hours in…I’ve got about 150 pieces to go. Then trimming for a few days, ironing by next weekend? Hopefully.

Minus the pumpkin patch.

Agreed. So much stupidity going on right now. I’m having some panic moments about where to buy things I need due to The JoAnn closing down and avoiding Amazon. My free time is generally not free and online shopping is awesome. Working on a list. But with quilt stuff, the secondary issue is the politics of stores. Sigh. My local quilt store is owned by a trumper.

Working on all of it. Today is an assembly (ugh), but mostly making a little eclipse flipbook. And planning. Hopefully some ceramics, finish the tracing. There’s something I need to remember for today and it keeps flitting into my brain (paper towels!!!) and leaving again. Caught it. Good times.

Vitreous Not So Humerous

Well good news, I can still see, no surgery (knock on a big piece of wood), and the odds are that in 6 weeks, I won’t have to be low-key stressed about any weirdness in the right eye…besides that bizarre swirling thing that is still there. Yeah. As a visual artist, the thought of losing any eyesight is pretty terrifying. I guess I’d still have clay, but it wouldn’t be the same if you couldn’t see it. My vitreous humor (and perhaps a hefty chunk of my sense of humor) is floating around my eye with wild abandon, occasionally panicking me with “OMG what’s that“ moments, but otherwise, I’m OK. Exhausted but what’s new. My retina is holding strong. All good.

I had to take Monday off because I wasn’t sure how long it would take to get in to the doc or what might happen after. I spent a million hours grading this weekend, so I refused to grade after the doc appointments. I try to save the stuff I can do at school so I have some down time at home, so I finished the new quilt drawing, numbered it (just under 700 pieces), and started tracing.

It’s not huge, so I’m hoping I can hit the deadline. Knock on wood.

I’ve already found 7 pieces I didn’t number at all and one number I used twice. Good times.

So maybe not just under 700.

I traced for about 3 1/2 hours on Monday…such a delight.

Then another hour last night…

I’m just under halfway. Realistically I could be done tracing Friday night. Although I still need to input grades. And we don’t have next week planned for school. Minor issue. Not so minor.

I’m also reading two books and trying to decide if I can pull off another show. The proposal has to be done by the 15th, but I need to. Finish at least one of the books first to make the proposal. Some level of insanity going on here…or a reaction to the day job’s grab on my personal life. Hard to say. There’s also about 2 hours of quilting left on this (I try to do a little each night).

My self-imposed deadline is coming up and I’m not going to meet it.

I spent 100 minutes working on hands, knuckles, and fingernails. It was glorious.

I had to persuade the fingers to change shape and direction.

A rare moment of sisterly friendship. Although Nova is doing some side eye.

In case you were wondering how daylight savings might affect you.

Sometimes AI is really stupid. This can lead to sleepiness…

This is too true. Ok today is the end of lunar phases (well, not really) into eclipses, plus desperately trying to plan for next week without interruptions (ha!), then Pilates (gently) and book club. Whoa. Busy night. I finished the book Sunday? I think. I hope. Then tracing some more. Getting grades completed so I can just input Thursday and be done. That’s what I need.

Buggy…

I finally updated my website to include all the bugs I made. You can see them here. At least for now. They might move. One has sold (that I know of)…it’s OK, it was the mutant first one I did before I figured out how to more easily (and quickly) finish them. Four of them are at VMOTA for now. The rest are here with me. They don’t have to be.

There’s one of them.

It’s the time of year when I’m scrambling and ducking and weaving and running. I could do with some down time, y’all. I did have a meeting canceled last night, and though I was looking forward to some stitching time with friends, I also enjoyed sitting on the couch with a variety of animals and reading my book for once. Well, I did a bunch of that last weekend too. Still sick, so balancing that with doing way too much. There is no balance. WTF am I talking about.

I’ve been doing about an hour of tracing a night, if I’m lucky…just short of an hour really. So I’m not getting far.

And it looks pretty much the same from one day to the next. I did start another yard of Wonder Under…

I’m in the mid to high 600s. Not even halfway. Ah well. Progress is slow. I did want to be ironing next week. Hopefully I will be at some point.

Must be cold. Dog in couch.

This is feeling real.

And I always appreciate this quote.

Creation is my sanity.

From the book I’m reading…The Dictionary of Lost Words…

Good book. I’d like to read it more.

OK. Ugh. I’m tired. Have not been sleeping well. Mostly in the AM. Still teaching waves…today is transverse and longitudinal. Only sort of know what I’m doing ahead of time, which is a bit nerve-wracking, but whatever. Nothing new there. Hopefully no stressful student crap today. Or adult crap for that matter. Hopefully some ceramics time. Then to the parents for dinner with the bro. Home to trace. Busy. Trying not to think about the idiocy that is my government in process. Dismantling the education department just hurts people. So many people are going to have their lives uprooted by all this…including those who voted for the idiot. Or who didn’t vote at all. You get what you deserve, but you dragged us all down with you. Stressed about all that. Ah well. Carry on. Draw some more. Contain the anger in a pile of fabric pieces…well, it’s not really contained, is it. Off to the mines it is…

I’ve Run Out of Limbs

Oh hey. Do you know what it’s like to work in a profession that is nonstop? I’m a little tired of mine right now. The nonstoppedness of it for sure. The ‘here do this because you have plenty of time’ part of it. The ‘I don’t understand why you can’t do all the things we’re asking you to do’ part of it. The ‘we need to know when the kids go to the bathroom and return and that is more important than what you’re teaching’ part of it. And I don’t know if the nutkook who will be in charge has announced his education crony yet, but if any of his other uneducated, inexperienced choices are a sign, we’re gonna get worse than Betsy WTF ‘just give them a pencil’ Voss this time. It will not be four years of sanity. Not in my district anyway. I wish y’all luck wherever you are. I’m currently juggling too many things and need to juggle more but I’ve run out of limbs.

So art is even MORE important. I kamikazed from school to ceramics yesterday and built (most of) two legs and feet. Well, one foot.

It needs work. This looks a bit like my Thanksgiving turkey at the moment.

Hopefully it’ll look better soon. The right foot (on the left) does not exist. All of it needs work. I ran out of time because I also had pilates last night (but late), so I did that too. And graded stuff. And then traced…

The lead I’m using does not write as darkly on the new Wonder Under. It also doesn’t rub off as much. I’m not sure why. Strange. It’s the same pencil I always use. There’s more resistance and yet less. Not sure how to explain that. There’s less resistance from the fusible underneath, which sometimes was bumpy enough to move my pencil lead to one side; now there’s more resistance from the paper I’m tracing on. Yes, I am thinking way too hard about this. I made it into the 500s last night, which means I’m close to a third done. My goal is to be ironing to fabric over Thanksgiving break. So I probably have another 11 days of tracing if I continue at about 100 pieces in an hour, and an hour a night…so that’s a week from Saturday. And then I have to cut them all out, which is probably 6 hours or so and then family arrives so I’m on crack. I might be ironing by Thursday, actual turkey day. Uh huh. Well. Oh well then. Maybe I’ll do some this weekend? And grade and lesson plan. Ha! Fuck me.

So yeah. Today is a lot of direct teaching, I think. Tomorrow will be less so, then Friday back on it. We’re teaching lessons we’ve never taught before, which is always stressful. I haven’t finished Friday’s worksheet yet and I don’t have any for next week. Although we found the academic thing for next week, so that’s good. I really should make a video to explain the current assignment that kids aren’t finishing. Not sure when I will do that. 2 AM? Possibly. Just after I train kids to use the new signout system that didn’t work yesterday. Yaass.

OK, also so many union meetings today. Gonna go do the first one, teach, then do the second one. Maybe go see my brother, who is visiting my parents. Then cook dinner and grade and trace. In that order. I think. I might grade WHILE cooking dinner. Not necessarily the best choice, but…

Not Connecting

My internet is out at home. I’m at school, tired (like take a nap tired), getting ready for a mandatory meeting that could be an email, trying to get my head around the to-do list…which requires my orange notebook…which has disappeared. Fate! My head has been off for over a week…getting over a virus and an infection plus the side effects of the meds…I feel mostly alive.

I started tracing…

But it’s not a fast process, and someone needs to stay out of it…

Going well…

In fact, I was super relaxed last night while tracing, feeling the meditative powers, then realized the reason I’d gone to Home Depot after school was to buy slats so I could ship a quilt today. I’d put a label on it Monday night but didn’t do the rest. So I started that at 10 PM. Might be part of why I’m tired.

So I’m hoping for more meditative tracing tonight. Also need to start to get ready for camping this weekend. I’m alternating between excited and exhausted again for that. Some part of me wants to nap in a pillow fort for days.

Hoping the Meds Kick In

Graded all day Saturday. Drove all day Sunday. Did some art. Still recovering from virus and infection. Body not thrilled with any of it.

I finished the drawing Friday night…

And started numbering…

Did not finish.

Kept going on Saturday night.

Managed to finish. Notionally 1606 pieces.

Odds are I missed some.

Started tracing last night…

Didn’t get far. Big ground pieces are a pain to trace. This will be the view for a while.

This was the grading view at some point…

Followed by some of this…

The Man had a show on Saturday night…Barbie-themed.

Nice outfit.

This is Bowie trying to get comfortable.

He’s not very good at it.

This is where I’m at right now.

Can’t go back to bed though. Hoping all the meds kick in and I survive the day.

The Power

Hokay. Wednesday. I’m a little tired, I must say. Not sure why. Rejiggering my lesson plan for today, I think. Some catchup, some kids finishing stuff up, instead of starting the next thing. I may do a piece of the next thing, but I have two classes that need to finish yesterday’s thing still. It’s OK. It’s fast. But I hate having classes on different things. It’s just easier when they’re all in the same range of stuff. It’s Back-to-School Night tonight…set for 5 PM, which makes more sense for parents, but it means I have 90 minutes after school where I’m just there. I have grading to do and will do it, so I don’t have to bring it home (the first batch of progress reports are due next week, which seems really early). I have a lot of work to get through. I really just want to finish my book though. And finish another one by Monday for book club. I had to finally buy that one, because it was still 5 weeks out at the library.

Artmaking is going slowly. I am not giving myself enough time because of grading, unfortunately. It sucks. I hate it. I guess I lose Sunday afternoons? I don’t know any other way to do this. I feel like I lose half the Saturdays too. UGH. So I traced the two little pieces onto Wonder Under, which took almost no time at all…

And last night, I cut them out…

Superfast. Hopefully I’ll have the energy tonight to iron them to fabric. I’m not holding out much hope, but some.

Monday, I worked on glazing the mug still…

Anybody who’s thinking, oh, Nida will make a bunch of these and sell them…HA! My god, they take so long. Which is fine. I’ve always been more about the process than having a product to sell…obviously.

This already has 10 hours into it.

Consider time, materials, firing fees…

Completely unaffordable. Sorry y’all. This is not going to be a second (third? fourth?) income generator for me. And I’m OK with that.

Enjoy the video in the round.

That long thin quilt is going to this show…

In Miami, Florida. As soon as it’s back from the photographer. It still needs a name, but I think I had one somewhere. I just need to figure out where.

OK. School. Ugh. Redo plan for the day. Get the kids working independently for at least half of class time. Grade things. Prep for next week. Try to figure out how to efficiently grade the thing the other teacher fucked up. Sigh. Spend more of my prep time not prepping. Yesterday started badly with a last-minute switch of two resource kids who need support into a class with no support, literally 2 minutes before they were supposed to show up to my class. They needed seats, they needed to be added to my Google Classroom, they needed to be told not to delete themselves out of the other classroom until I graded things. FUCK. And no support? So that put me over 20% resource kids in that class, so after my complaints and reminders of how shit should work, I have support in there today. But the long string of emails leading up to that last one? I could have been included. So I would’ve known. But no. Not important. So my mindset during prep was to put on loud music with lots of swear words and grade all the makeup work so it was off my plate. Pro? That last bit.

Anyway. Today will be better. I command it. And I don’t have to try to cook after pilates, like last night, cooking after 7:30 PM. Tonight the Man cooks and I collapse. With my book, hopefully.

A Lot of Hope

Hey. Yo. It’s Friday. I’m tired. I have survived the first day of actual school with kids. It was fine. Too much talking. I have a new prep period; kind of adjusting to that. It’s earlier but not by much. Definitely had a pulled muscle yesterday, but I think it was from pilates on Wednesday. After school, I did a 1-hour round trip (rush-hour traffic with accidents as a side) to drop another quilt with my photographer. That’s three. It’s cool. I feel like I finished some stuff this year finally.

I traced the last two nights…

Either Bowie is slightly better at listening, or I’m better at picking kitten sleepy times to trace. I had to move him off the light table to be in zoom with stitching friends and trace, but he was so tired, he just curled up again and went back to sleep.

And I managed to finish tracing…

Small quilt, small pieces, not very many of them. Compared to the bigger ones. And then I started cutting them out. This is where small is not so fun.

I started. I will continue. Probably tonight, but who knows? I’m missing the Man’s show tonight…

The girlchild is here, I’m exhausted, the boychild is home from fires. I just wanna hang out. Watch, they’ll both just disappear and I’ll be home on the couch with all the furry beasts. That also might be OK. The Man has a ton of weddings coming up in the next 6 weeks…wants to sneak me in. I don’t mind crashing like birthday parties and stuff, but weddings are dress-up things. Not doing it. So lots of Saturday nights coming up where I will just have to sit around and make art? Hmmm. Pros and cons.

Ceramics-wise, I know two of my things came out of the bisque fire fine…the base of the world figure is there on the right.

The top part is still drying. And the sgraffito thing I made for the garden stake thing they’re doing…it’s there in the middle bottom.

The clay is really light for the background. Wondering about getting some black clay for a sgraffito thing. I just don’t need 25 pounds of it. Hmmm. Anyway, I haven’t been able to get to the studio yet…maybe tomorrow. I also need to fill a tire with air, possibly get new tires, put oil in my car, and also washer fluid. All that popped up in the last week or so. Sigh. Couldn’t do that over the summer when I had plenty of time? Nah.

School! Here’s the 8th-grade team (minus the combo team). We’re back together after…um…2 years?

Yes, we have matching shirts, but science went for a darker gray. I would have gone even darker if there’d been an option. They like their super light colors. I do not.

Here’s my specific team, again.

IDK how many years we’ve been a team, but it’s been a long while. The principal thought about breaking us up because there were so many new teachers, to spread us out. I’m glad he didn’t.

Sometimes they drive me nuts, but that’s true of all teams. And no, I don’t get to be on the same floor as them. So they talk about stuff up there and think I know what they’re talking about. I don’t.

My district passed that stupid parent info thing that violates state law. And some states do this stupid shit.

There’s a local election in November. If it goes a certain way and the dumbasses are in charge, the next 5 years are gonna be shit for teachers in our district. Please vote intelligently. Research the stories you post and make sure they are the truth and not made-up-shit, because I see so much of that. And it’s exhausting. And if you’re trying to friend me on Facebook and we don’t have a personal connection, and you have a picture of Trump and his fist in the air with his tiny ear scratch as your main photo? Don’t friend me. I’ve been unfriending a lot. I keep some because of that personal connection, but I do sometimes question their sanity. Kids first. Your adult agendas need to consider that if your child tells their teacher their pronoun/name preference and NOT YOU, it is because YOU ARE NOT THE SAFE SPACE. You do WANT teachers to be a safe space, right? Well then don’t fuck with our ability to be that. And figure your own parenting shit out on your own time.

Welcome to my TedTalk. Oh, yeah, today is a chill day in science…some vocab, some cover pages, some coloring. I’m in for it. Plus trying to learn kids’ names (hard!) and get ahead of next week for once. Sundays free! Hopefully. I have a lot of hope for life-work balance this year.

Write Fast

Up early, another doctor’s appointment, this one to figure out what this weird thing I’ve been seeing in my eye since March is…probably not an optical migraine for this long. So that’s been worrisome. I’ve had one batch of scans/dilations/bright flashlights and look at my ear things, and they found nothing, but it didn’t go away (they never do, y’all), so I got leveled up! And it’s a 3-hour appointment plus some other thing, and I can’t take a whole day off at this point, so I’m going in to school for the second half. Hopefully the eye dilation will be toned down by the time I get in. Anyway, it means I have to leave in 24 minutes, so write fast!

It’s OK, all I do is work work work (8:30 PM last night, 6:20 AM this morning) and make art (hallelujah). I did work on the clay thing on Monday, but as often happens, I forgot to take photos…I’ll do it tomorrow. The quilt is just being traced…it’s big and complicated, so I guessed about 20 hours…

It all pretty much looks the same, day after day.

I’m still on the second yard of Wonder Under…that will change.

I found a numbering fuckup…I managed to skip backwards 20 pieces and had to add ‘a’ to all 20 because I’d already used those numbers.

Good times. Rolling toward 1700 pieces.

I’m just about 400 pieces in, so less than a quarter of the way through…and just over 4 hours, so that’s impressive. I do usually estimate 100 pieces an hour, but it’s rare that I make that. I figured 20 hours for this…we’ll see.

In house progress, here’s one old fix from the previous owners…

That wood has all been replaced…

Then we realized there’s about three different colors of brown paint. Ugh. Picked one. Suspect no one (but you) will ever notice. Certainly I haven’t for years and I live here. They are slowly moving around the house and getting this bit done. Putting gutters in will hopefully permanently solve the problem of the water damaging the wood down there…that and digging out a trench around the edges. Fun summer project there.

From The Hexologists, the book I’m reading for book club.

Not that my anxiety needs any support in that. It’s well-versed in arming itself.

OK. Doc. Uncomfortable eye things. For a long time. School…teaching lunar phases again…yesterday’s lab had me walking them through each step…the instructions say, for the lower grades, you may need to walk them through this. 8th grade, y’all…not so lower. It’s OK. It was fine. My voice is shot though. Then pilates, then sleep. Oh wait. I might have to do some other stuff first. Like work, eat, trace. All good. Not the work part. That can fuck off. I had my final observation/evaluation review yesterday. I did fine. Wasn’t really worried about it. I don’t have to have another one (unless I get a psycho principal…had those before) until the year I’m hoping to retire. That’ll be a fun one.

Art. Meditating on Wonder Under later.