Breathe in, Breathe out…

Deep breath in, deep breath out. It’s Friday. Oooh. Deep breath in. We only had a 4-day week. Deep breath out. There’s another 3-day weekend starting tomorrow. Deep breath in. Yesterday was a bit of a shit show. Deep breath out. It’s fine. We did the eyeball dissection lab…

It’s not hard, unless kids are being stupid. 99% of the kids were awesome, although having to yell through Period 6’s chatting habit so we wouldn’t still be dissecting at 2 AM was not fun. The four boys who were jerks about everything? Yeah. Well. Take the F. Take the phone call and see the principal who will call your mom and your made-up excuse for not wearing safety glasses? Sigh. Just stop that crap. It’s annoying.

I think eyeballs are way easier than frogs (we do those in 7th grade). Anyway, today, they turn a bunch of shit in and that’s good. I graded for about 3 1/2 hours last night (and no, I’m not done), which helps my panic recede a little bit. I’m gone for about 46 hours this weekend to see the girlchild, so I won’t be doing a ton of grading until Monday. Which is a holiday. Hallelujah. There’s also drama about kids changing teams and behaviors and bullshit and that was a huge chunk of yesterday, so I was extremely tired and irritated. Fun stuff. I’ve slept, I’ve meditated with fabric. I might be ready for today (nah, there’s a meeting this morning and it’s gonna be a rabble rouser).

I’m still binding. I was watching ceramics school videos Wednesday night…

I have like 99 hours of video to get through…I think I’ve watched 4 of the 33 instructors so far. It’s fascinating, but I feel like I need to take notes and that’s time-consuming. Will I ever read the notes again? Hard to say. It helps me remember things though. If I write them down. Even if I don’t read them.

Last night, my brain needed story time, so I watched whatever I was binge-watching three weeks ago before I started stitchdown.

I’m not even halfway y’all. It’s fine. It’s dark, the thread’s dark, I’m tired. I fly out tonight, so it won’t get worked on until Sunday night at the earliest. It’s fine. When I get back, my friend’s mom’s quilt goes back on the machine to get finished and I draw the next one and maybe start tracing it. I might even start drawing it this weekend, if I feel into it. I miss drawing all the time. I hate that this job has taken so much of my time. I made it to ceramics on Wednesday for just enough time to fix cracks and put new moist paper towels on everything. I’m hoping to go Monday for a couple of hours. I might need glaze too, but I doubt the clay place is open Monday. Their hours are horrible. Sucks. Ugh.

OK though…I did get on the announcement card for this FIG show opening in LA in a couple of weeks.

I feel bad because I’m about 90% sure I can’t go to the opening. I mean, I could, but then wouldn’t get grades done and I don’t want to do those on my birthday weekend. I’m not sure what I DO want to do (hike, have a nice dinner, draw, read my book), but I know grading isn’t part of it. EVER (and it often is because of when the trimester ends). Moya Devine made the original collage and then I made an art quilt based on that. I had to make the image my own at one point. As always. She made one of my drawings into a collage as well.

OK. I need to get my butt to school to deal with this meeting and the day. Then come home and actually PACK, beyond making piles that will eventually come with me. I’m looking forward to seeing the girlchild and being in SF, even for just a short time, despite all the stressy shit surrounding the trip. It’s just this time of year. Seven weeks until Spring Break…which comes with its own pile of stressy shit. In awesome news, the mammo came back clean, although then they sent this letter that says I should have an MRI screening as well because I have more than a 20% chance of breast cancer. Well that’s a nice letter to send. I bet most people never see that letter, because they’re like hidden in the app. I’m supposed to talk to my doc about it. Fun times. FUN TIMES. BREATHE IN BREATHE OUT.

Until I Can Relax…

My photo editing app is updating right now. Not sure when it thinks it will be done. Much like all of my students will be today…unsure of doneness. Yikes. It’s fine. I think I really felt like yesterday could have been Friday and we all would have been fine with it. At least there’s no assembly today…I don’t have the energy for that level of teacher. Just the finish-it-all and hand-it-in level of teacher. Although by 6th period, I won’t be sane any more. It’s fine.

I started cutting out the pieces for the new quilt. I’m using the new Wonder Under and an awful lot of pieces are releasing the paper as I’m cutting them, which is problematic. So far, it’s mostly the tiny or skinny pieces, but it’s enough to be abnormal (compared to the old stuff). I haven’t had a ton of time at night to do things, due to holiday crap and stupid school board meetings, so the first night, I think this is 30 minutes worth of trimming…

Not much. Last night, I got more time in, over an hour. I had worked on school stuff from about 6-8:30 pm, so it was time to quit. Couldn’t deal with cleaning house or thinking about decorating (I have no Xmas stuff up this year).

Those letters are gonna take a while. I guess I know what I’ll be doing for the next week on this quilt. I wish I could cut for hours a day, but I want to get all my grades done before Christmas. I don’t know if I can pull that off, but I’m going to try. I’ll have one homework assignment, one large academic assignment that half the kids haven’t done, another short one, two things to record only, because some app already scored them, warmups, and a relatively short packet. It’s doable. Crazy, but doable.

Yesterday, we made electromagnets. Fun times.

It’s kind of cool actually…although the logistics of supplies is a pain. What to do with all the half-used-up batteries? Who knows.

We half-assed decorated a door. That’s my Max and a student’s ornament.

This was me on Wednesday night…

I had to cook, but I wasn’t ready. So cats helped.

I suck at both.

And this, I am very good at this…

This guy speaks to my soul sometimes.

And this…

I still think they gave way too many to the gas planets. OK, there’s a scientific reason for that. Jupiter is being nice.

OK. Today. They answer an academic question about electromagnets (easy!). They put their packets in order and hand them in. They finish all the other shit they haven’t finished. I clean my room because fucking Winter Academy will be in there in January. Assholes. Teachers steal shit. It’s annoying. I finish grading the last of last week’s homework assignments. I set up as much of January’s stuff as I can. We have the first 7 days done…just need to admit the next two days are what they are. It’s fine. REALLY. Come home, collapse, then stand up and do shit. Or sit and do shit. Because there’s a lot of shit to do before I can relax.

Some Possibility for Yelling…

Ugh. So the last three nights of not sleeping well are starting to hit now. It’s not something I choose to happen…it’s just either my brain overthinking shit or the Man and the cats and the dog taking up space in many ways. I’m sure I’ll hit exhaustion level again soon and be able to sleep through cats leaping over me at 3 AM and dogs rearranging themselves perpendicularly to me in the middle of the night so there’s nowhere for my legs to go. Not quite there yet. The morning meetings don’t help; having to lose that last 30 minutes…that’s hard. Ah well…no more of those until next Thursday…knock on wood. Definitely feeling it this morning though. Yesterday, I could still bully through. Today? Ugh. No. Would like to go back to bed. Still fighting the sinus stuff…my doc is out this week, so the sub doc (who may or may not have reviewed my file…wanna take bets?) said to use Flonase and Sudafed. Um. Yeah. For like weeks now. It’s fine. It’s better…just exacerbated by talking all day. Just like my knees are aching from walking all day. We’ll all adjust.

Cool art news…My Body. My Choice. got into Form not Function. Over 350 submissions and only 20 got in. Glad it was her.

She has traveled well. Maybe she continue. She’ll be at the Floyd County Carnegie Library Cultural Arts Center in New Albany, Indiana, from January 16-April 12. May that go well.

The ironing stage of this quilt has been slow. I mean, I’m doing an hour every night, but I’m not very fast about what gets done in that hour. This was poison oak and brain parts, I think. Oh, and a string of Christmas lights…

Last night was the esophagus, arteries, the heart minus the flower bouquet inside it…

And the cloud parts on the leg, but not all the stuff inside them. I still have stuff in the 300, 400, 700, and 900 boxes that hasn’t been ironed. Plus all the innards where the belly is cut open. I have one intestinal fabric chosen, but the rest is still an unknown. You can see the colors are piling up…the cardiovascular reds. That green/yellow mix is what I picked for the esophagus…I’ll try to repeat some of that down in the digestive system. Reality is not really where I roll. So I’m not halfway done…still. Getting there? Slowly. Tonight will be a challenge…there’s a lot going on. There’s a pottery tour this weekend and I’m hoping to put a couple of ceramic pieces in. We’ll see if that happens.

I’m still slogging (happily) away on this one…

The clay (and I) were being slow and sluggish last night. I basically did the ribs and another fish on the foot on the right. I need to do the other leg, add a few more details, and then figure out the top half. Or third. I might have to do this in three pieces…not sure the head will fit otherwise. I can’t get up to the highest drying shelves (not tall enough), so I’m trying to figure out how to make it in pieces again. Like the last two, but bigger. And odds are, I’ll use underglazes on this as well, so that will be time. I can move it to the drying rack for that though. I only have a smallish space for storing stuff. The racks are really full right now (pre-holiday rush?).

We’re doing electricity in school right now. I was trying to demonstrate static electricity with the balloon sticking to the wall…it only worked 2/5 times though.

Frustrating…last year, it worked every class. My exhausted self…this one bright kid…what are we supposed to write if it didn’t work? Well here’s why it didn’t…something is not neutral or not enough electrons transferred to make it work. It’s all invisible, so I have to figure out why it didn’t work when it should have. The wonder of science. Maybe he’s not cut out to be a scientist? The current academic thing I’m grading…I can get through 11 assignments in an hour. I have 128 kids. The easiest ones to grade are the kids who didn’t do any of the academic parts (but almost all of them did something because they started in groups) or the kids who totally got it (2 so far). It’s interesting that the things we teachers think should be easy, the kids flail on. Makes us feel like bad teachers sometimes. Although we know WHY they fail…and it’s usually a combo of laziness (just wanting to copy things) or a lack of problem-solving or reading instructions. The average reading level at our school is 2nd grade. So everything has to be so obvious. So far no one is failing, but there are a lot of beginning-level answers. I’d rewrite it for next year, but I won’t be teaching 8th grade next year. I won’t be back to 8th grade until I do the combo year again in 2027. Hopefully the other teacher will have made it awesome by then!

To continue on Monday’s commentary about the 10 commandments. That wall is there for a reason…

Sigh. No news from my district about teaching sex ed this year. Who the fuck knows what that will look like. I expected to hear from the committee people about how we were going to meet again, yadda yadda. Nothing. Radio silence.

This amuses me.

Too real. Also I need to get my act together on the gift stuff. Ha! Not sure when.

I love this…

It’s my angry self…the part that just wants to finish my book this morning. Not happening. Gonna go sit in a meeting instead. Not cutting heads off with swords…yet.

OK. Meeting. Then teach…static electricity labs today. Some possibility for yelling there. Depends on the ability to listen to instructions. Confetti and salt are involved. Plus balloons. Then pilates. Home briefly, to ceramics meeting, home again for dinner. I would say grading? But I don’t think there will be brain power for that after all that. So let’s just say ironing will happen? Hopefully. Get those damn intestines done.

Hurdles and Crunches

Hey Friday. I’m glad you’re here. This week has been cool in terms of kids learning and doing stuff (except for the 5 who aren’t). It’s been a physical hurdle due to the crap in my lungs and sinuses. It’s been a time crunch that is continuing…I was woken up at 4:45 AM by either a cat or the dulcet snoring tones of my partner, and then my brain wouldn’t let go of the fact that only one day next week is planned and 48 things need to happen before Tuesday and I don’t know when they will be happening. Minor issue. Plus many people want things from me and I just want to finish my book (I did that last night…it was well worth it).

Also an earthquake/fire drill on a lab day, when they moved where we stand (I’ve stood with my class in the same place for 16 years…I understand half the move, but the other half was idiotic…and yes, I told them so. I am so unapologetic in my ancient years…oh hell, I haven’t even come close to ancient yet. Hold on to your hats.). It’s OK. It’s done. Today will be OK. I hope. Still need to get most of that period done with building because they couldn’t do it yesterday because we spent half the period doing other stuff.

What are we building? Roller coasters…a quicker, faster, easier version than what I’ve been doing for the last two years…which is awesome.

Insulation tubing. Way easier than the paper stuff.

So much better. I may hate grading the paper part of it, but I’m OK with trying it. So that was cool.

I’m still waiting on Wonder Under. I’ve been working on parts for the ceramic sculpture…

I made tubing for the tornado rope. It’s long and is taking For. Ev. Er. to pull through.

Here’s day 2, when I found the big tweezery things…

Still not done, but closer. And I need more fiberfill or stuffing or whatever. Maybe I’ll remember that after school today. We’ll see. I also want to do clay but can do that tomorrow as well.

First not-very-fair response to the election…

Not fair because where I live is actually in California and red. So there’s that. Certainly a lot of people are going to better understand tariffs in the next 4 years. I guess it will play out and we will yell a lot and hopefully the world will not end. Will it affect my retirement? Almost certainly. Unfortunately. Ah well. This might be more relevant.

And then there’s this…

I wish that were totally true, but I guess art and books are my forest.

OK. Survive today. Take all the meds. Hopefully get some planning in and some clay in. Still fending for myself on food because the Man had a tooth pulled and is still on a liquid diet. And cranky about it. I guess it would be rude of me to go get a burger tonight. Hmmm. I’m personally tired of leftovers. Looking forward to getting my Wonder Under tomorrow. Looking forward to a 3-day weekend. Another one. Yup. It’s all good. More sleep would be lovely, if that’s an option. It may not be. Snorers and cats and dogs…

Dead Fan…

It’s finally cooling off…a week of ugh. And our bedroom ceiling fan died yesterday. So that was fun. I kamikazed over to Home Depot after school and bought a new one, but the Man will be installing it today, so we found one of those tower fans in the house (there’s like three of them) and put it on a dresser to keep the bedroom cool last night. The house does not release heat easily after a heat wave. My office here is still 88 degrees; it’s much cooler outside. But soon…it will cool off. At least the fan made it through the worst of the heat.

The quilting on this little piece took forever. I ripped out so much…I think because it’s small and any mistake is much more obvious? Or I was tired at the end of the day and didn’t stitch as well? I don’t know. I got all the outlining done Tuesday night and barely started the background…

I had the right color of thread. Miraculous really. And last night, I finished quilting…

And I trimmed it up, ready for binding. Which I’ll need to do quickly if I want it photographed before the deadline and shipping. It jumped up on me! Deadlines do that. I have a bunch of bits and pieces I want to do after that, while I draw the new big quilt. Which I drew in my head during the MRI on Saturday. Results came back fine, nothing that explains the visual disturbance. So good news, still no brain tumor or infarcty thing or blockage they can see. Bad news, they still don’t know what it is and they’ve run out of tests to do. So. There we are. It’s there, it’s not going anywhere for now, and I will be living with it. I realized as I was driving last night that nighttime is where it annoys me the most. I was trying to see where to turn into a road and the little swirly thing was right in the way. Frustrating. But in the larger scheme of things, better than cancer or MS or a seizure disorder or any of the other crap they kept throwing at me. A migraine that doesn’t hurt and will never go away. Except it’s not a migraine. Whatever. Moving on. Well, first make a quilt about it and everything else.

I’ve noticed people like quilts about one discrete issue, not many issues. Ah well. ‘Tis not how my brain works.

One of the shows I went to on Saturday was at the R.B. Stevenson Gallery in La Jolla for my friend Jeanne Dunn’s solo show Forest Bathing.

That’s her in the middle and the infamous Anna Stump on the right. I realized later that her new work kind of reminds me of Dr. Suess and the Lorax (I guess the trees?). But it’s very bright, colorful, and fun. Apparently this piece has a fourth panel…

My favorite part is the DNA tree there in the yellow. Jeanne works hard at her art and is a sweet person…glad to see her getting shows and selling stuff!

More pieces from the Techne Art Center show…

By Gail Wagner…

Interesting cyanotypes by Annalise Neil…

Rhonda Anderson…

These intriguing sculptures by Reginald Green…

They are listed as ceramics and mixed media…

Very colorful.

Ellen Dieter’s work is there too…

I’ll post some more next time. It’s a nice show…lots to look at. I strongly suggest you check it out.

Kitten is moving uber slow these days, but this piqued her interest…

She’s moved down onto the floor with the heat. It might be that she can’t get up on the table any more. She’s pretty stiff moving. Much like me after sitting too long.

This shit.

My school board may flip this way soon. It’s certainly trying to. Assholes.

Yesterday’s weird really red morning sun. Pretty sure there are fires out there causing this…

The smoke from the Line Fire in Riverside maybe? Scary fires in LA right now.

Oh, I did work on ceramics, on my mug, on Monday. I was tired and forgot half my materials, so I just carved for an hour.

Sometimes that’s all I have in me. I’m going to add more underglaze colors to it. If I remember to take the glaze box with me on Friday.

I found this interesting feather yesterday…

So polkadotty.

The last of the science lab apples…this was was truly trashed by Period 1, who didn’t realize I needed it to last all day and poked way too many holes in it (it’s used as a battery for one of the energy stations).

I went through 6 apples…and composted all of them afterwards. Poor things. Glad those stations are done; although they are cool…they are a pain in the ass for the teacher.

OK. Today. Test for the kids. Ha! Fun times. Finishing our first unit. Tons of grading to do, but glad to move onto the next one. I need to make 5 seating charts today, grade a bunch of homework, finish an academic assignment, finish vocab slides (I got next week’s done at least), and survive a union meeting. Ugh. Plus hopefully get a new fan in the bedroom (it’s still warm in there, really warm), take the trash out, and read my book. And put binding on this quilt! Because now I’m committed to delivering it to the photographer. So that’s a thing. It’s cool. I don’t know why it feels like the first two days of school is a week’s worth, but it does. How is it only Wednesday? Yeah. Well. OK. Off I go.

Recovering Dammit…

OK. Made it home. It was questionable for a while, but it all happened. The girlchild is sick so I’m taking all my meds, hoping my middle-school-trained immune system is strong enough to counteract hanging in a car with her for hours plus all the other exposures, because surely, she got it from the same people we were all with all weekend. My first day back at school, I wrote 5 referrals for the kids who couldn’t figure out how to deal with a sub…kicked them out for the egg drop. Got pictures taken and labeled during class of the egg drop materials. Got kids through their assignments (it helps that I overthink every day…the pro of an anxious brain is that I plan a class period in my head about 700 times before I actually teach it. This is also a con.), got packets done for the sex-ed opt-out kids. Need to set up materials this morning for the egg drop; I have one set for each table, but need to be ready to swap out stuff if necessary. I had to sub my prep period yesterday, but luckily, it was mostly a good class and I was able to post the things I needed to and start the seating charts for sex ed. I let them pick one friend to sit with, but then, you know, not everyone picks each other and some kids don’t pick at all, and there’s always too many boys in my classes. I had to kamikaze to the dentist after school while calling pre-anesthesia to make an appointment for the REAL pre-anesthesia appointment, which is before the REAL anesthesia. Gotta make a list of all my meds and supplements. IDK why my surgeon doesn’t have access to the same list I have to review with my doc, but they don’t. It’s annoying. Then I went to the ceramics studio to make sure my stuff hadn’t dried out, picked up my glazed pot that I forgot to photograph and isn’t that exciting anyway, and then went to Costco for the eggs for today. Dropped those back at school in the fridge so I wouldn’t have to do that this morning. Realized as I got back into the car at 5:30 Pacific Coast Time that I was hella exhausted. Like bone-tired. Ah yes. Because it’s 8:30 PM East Coast Time and my body isn’t really sure which time it’s on. Came home, napped, laid around half-dead for a bit, got up, made dinner, made seating charts. It took a massive amount of willpower to not just go to bed, but to come in here and iron for 24 minutes.

Got the other side of Christmas lights done. From a week ago. It’s a start.

I stitched on the plane once I finished my book and my bullet journal for the week. I finished the last house block for Sue Spargo’s Homegrown…

While watching Barbie. It had its pros and cons.

And I started the centerpiece…

While watching the first half of The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes or whatever that title actually is. I didn’t draw at all this weekend. Didn’t have the energy or the brainpower. I constantly have to explain why I stitch other people’s patterns when I’m sitting somewhere or traveling. Mine isn’t very travel-happy. I couldn’t have ironed anything on this trip. I have taken stuff to cut out before, but only when it’s at a very controllable stage. I won’t do it on a plane. Too much possibility of losing pieces. Everything I have going is at the ironing or stitchdown stage, so not portable. Plus I don’t have to think about this pattern at all. Someone else already thought it all out for me.

Kitten was glad to see me…

She didn’t eat much and wouldn’t take her meds while I was gone. She doesn’t do well at the moment when I leave. But she’s bouncing back.

This is one of Luna’s most commonly seen facial expressions…

Not sure what she saw (but I suspect it’s usually a demon behind me, based on how she looks).

The ex found a duckling…

It’s OK; he has since found the owner. Apparently another one is wandering around somewhere (not good…we have coyotes). Crazy times. My yard has had all the normal wild animals, plus a chicken, an elderly deaf and blind pug, an injured crow (my neighbor dealt with that), random dogs and cats, but no ducks. Yet.

OK. Well. Today I do 50 egg drops…well, just under that. Plus pilates, which my creaky post-travel body really needs, although after the 500 squat lunges I did a day going up and down the steps in that rental house, my knees are still complaining, but the muscles are fine. I still haven’t watered, so I need to do that tonight, plus take the trash out. And then start grading all the late work. With only 12 days of school left, everything gets rather panicky. Must do it all NOW. Hoping the sleep evens out soon, and the stress too. Too many health issues on top of all that. The next person who asks, “so what are doing this summer?” might get punched. RECOVERING DAMMIT…from a really tough year. Plus doing all the things I haven’t been doing. The floors are disgusting, there’s drawers and cupboards and parts of the house that need a ton of work. I need to paint at least one room and the hallway, plus all the carpet. I don’t want to think about the rest of it. We go back to school so early this year, it just sucks. Anyway. So I’m gonna think about that later, and make sure there’s plenty of hikes and ceramics and quilting and whatever else makes me feel better. And be hopeful about the medical stuff because it’s really stressful to think otherwise. Plus read a ton of books. Sound like a plan? And go see the girlchild in San Francisco. All good.

Sweet Dirty Floors

The internet is molasses today. Man, this week sucks for after school. Meeting after meeting after meeting. I hate Friday meetings. And we haven’t even gotten to the parents we need to meet with (on the 6th day of school, we already have two concerns, academic, not behavior). I got 5 new kids yesterday with no warning…those emails warning me came after two kids I didn’t recognize showed up in my class, ready to learn (really?), even though I wasn’t prepared. I actually gave an assessment yesterday, a quiz. And yes, I made 3 of them do it (the other kids came too late). Well, one didn’t have a computer, so not him. Two of them. Some were already at our school in the Newcomer program we have for kids who are new to the country. So we expect them to be unclear on science concepts and sometimes in need of lots of help. The first month is such a juggling act, too much shit; it’s a relief (usually) to get to the end of September and some sort of normal routine. But right now, science is a lot, union is a lot, literacy is a lot, sex ed is a lot. Today is the first of two 2-hour meetings this week with parents and school-board members about creating a sex ed curriculum that is specific to our kids. I think this is idiotic. Programs already exist. Why reinvent the wheel? You can’t NOT teach the stuff this group doesn’t like…it’s required by the state. My boss. Opt your kids out. Please. And yes, I am getting paid for these meetings, but I’m not sure you could pay me enough to make this worth it.

Anyway. So I come home and cook dinner or eat it or whatever, and read my book for a little bit, because I NEED that, and after all that, I iron. I don’t clean or dust or vacuum (oh man, the one thing the hurricane did was mess up the floors I had just cleaned. Fucker). I have my priorities. Monday night…I ironed a lot of money. I tend to iron in numeric order, but I took this picture…

Because I was going in numerical order, and then I’m like, there’s about 75 pieces that are money and I should just iron them all at the same time, so I rummaged through the 500s through 1000s and found them all, and then did all of them. It’s more efficient that way, and it adds to continuity in the piece to have all the money be the same color. I’ll do the same with the justice’s robes. Probably. I’m debating on that. I have some black fabrics with bits of color and I may use those for the justices who are more for ALL the people than some of them. We’ll see.

Anyway, so these pieces are tiny and even if I iron 100 of them, it doesn’t look like I did much of anything.

But I did. Maybe the closeups are more useful…

You can see the money and the fish I ironed. Plus a fishing pole. Yeah.

Then last night, I wanted more than an hour…and yes, I’m still staying up too late at night. Not good. But I did a whole bunch of people parts, little people. So I think it was almost all fleshy bits, except for a slippery hill.

Many versions of flesh and a big green piece. I still have some of the 500s left (the clothes and apparati of the fleshy bits, some signs, a recycling bin, a wheelchair), but you’ll notice some of the flesh was in the 600s. Nowhere near halfway. The goddess’ legs weren’t next. I thought they were. I think they are next after I do these people. There might be an umbrella before that. It’s slow, people, so slow, and coming home the next two nights after 6 PM is not going to help.

Doesn’t look very colorful here. I like color. You may have noticed. There will be lots of black, gray, and fleshtones in this one. I think the goddess will be more dirt and sky. That’s the plan anyway. Something has to be tied to the earth.

My anti-anti-abortionists quilt, My Body. My Choice., is still at the Virginia Quilt Museum. They sent photos of it in situ, which was nice, because I hadn’t seen any.

There’s a fall artists reception on September 23, from 4-6 PM. I won’t be there, but the exhibit looks cool. Check it out. There’s my piece on the left. I don’t know whose the other pieces are.

I’m intrigued by the tools to the right of mine.

Simba was not pleased by my perusal of his fur for knotted bits…

It’s a constant struggle.

I’m sewing things down brainlessly after dinner for a bit. It’s satisfying.

Sue Spargo’s Forest for the Trees block of the month. The trees are cute. This one has crabs and fish. Totally opposite to the crazy shit I’m doing on my own quilt. Perfect!

OK, today I’m having the kids practice writing CERs (claim, evidence, reasoning). Should be interesting. My new 8th-grade teacher, who I have barely worked with, does not know what a CER is. Sigh. That will be fun. We meet today. Hopefully we can work together. I don’t know her well enough to get a good read on it so far. Then two hours of kneejerk stupidity. I will be breathing deeply and taking notes to control my need to yell at them for their ignorance. I’m hoping it’s productive. Got 16 hours total to deal with these people.

Then home. Sweet home. Ugh. Sweet dirty floors and dogs and cats and dirty counters and stuff that needs doing and trash that needs to go out. But ironing after. People accroutrement and all.

Zebras Rule the World

Middle day of a weird overfull week. It doesn’t chill out this week. I think ever. It’s just full. I get my head around one day at a time. Then last night, I didn’t sleep because my brain was wandering into next year and that’s just a mistake right now. Pros! Yesterday, I got to buy lunch away from school and sit outside with a bunch of co-teachers I don’t get to eat with because we have different lunches. I might get to do the same today! And today does not have a meeting on top of interviews on top of other things that had to be done.

I came home after a meeting and 5 interviews, 2 on Zoom (weird but understandable, although am I old? It’s hard to hear and my principal sneezed during a very important answer.). I had to edit a letter to be sent by multiple staff about next year’s principal choice, then find some other stuff for the current principal. Then I made chai tea and finished my book. I refused to work after that. I feel like I did all the hours. Plus testing is exhausting. It’s walking around the room 700 times and trying to focus on anything (cleaning? organizing? grading? planning? The last two are harder in this situation.). For 3 1/2 hours. Trying to keep the kids from flipping out for 3 1/2 hours. Most of them are fine. Lots of sleeping. I’m good with that. Puzzles! That was a blessing from my math teacher. They were engrossed. I had to make a puzzle board (well, I pulled one of the bases for roller coasters so we could slide it under the puzzle). It was fine. Today it will be less of a novelty and the test is harder and shorter, so it will probably be more difficult to keep them chill.

Today I also have a union meeting after school and then book club (that I just finished the book for), so full, but ending on a good note. Although it’s a murder mystery. So is it good? I just don’t know.

The other good thing (I’m really trying to get out of the mud brain here) is that I am on the stitchdown phase of the quilt. It won’t go fast, but it’s faster than the ironing was. I got the background pieced and the whole thing ironed down on Monday night…

She’s big, beautiful, and complicated. Love it.

Last night, I set everything up so I could start the stitchdown. I listen to podcasts or music and just stitch. I should probably remember to stand up more, but I don’t.

I got a healthy chunk of the bottom left corner done. The machine is behaving; that’s a plus. There’s just a lot that needs to be stitched down. I’m guessing 6-7 hours. Based on my evening plans for the rest of the week, um, yeah. Hopefully by the weekend. That would be good so I can sandwich it over the weekend and start quilting. Can’t guarantee it though. That’s a lot of stitching after meetings. We’ll see. I can only do what I can do. And I can only blow off the day job so much before I’m not prepared to do the things I need to do to teach. My brain wants to be on vacation, but I’m not yet.

There was a comment during the interview process yesterday about teachers who are referral factories. I feel that way with a couple of my classes. It’s been a rough year. I meditated last night, reflected on what to change for next year, felt some bad stressful shit, tried to sleep after that. Hmmm. That’s a no. OK. Well. It’s funny, I’ve got the science down; there’s still revising and planning changes for next year, but it doesn’t feel as overwhelming as it was for this year. This year was just bad. I’m so burnt out that the thought of doing a weeklong training during the summer made me completely shut down. I want a long expanse of time where I don’t have to work this many hours, fall asleep worried about planning or behaviors. And that’s the other part. This year has made me feel like I’m a shitty teacher in so many ways, and I know I’m not. I check in with co-teachers and we are all struggling. Phone behaviors, computer behaviors, lack-of-work behaviors, post-COVID behaviors, parent behaviors and attitudes. It’s exhausting. One of the things I have to do right now for one of my students is take a photo every time he falls asleep in class and send it to mom. Because she doesn’t believe me? I don’t know. I’m just tired. Very very tired. And today? Sad. Overwhelmed sad. I do love most of teaching. I have not loved it this year. Well, even that’s not true. Some of the teaching/learning has been awesome. So focus on that today. I suspect crying during testing is not preferred. I’m not testing…the kids are. I really shouldn’t be crying.

We did Natural Selection Comics to show understanding. I do have some absolutely awesome ones that I’ll share later, but these two…honestly, they both made me laugh, and the zebra one did OK on his grade. The other one? Totally off topic. But still made me laugh. And then hold my head.

Zebras rule the world. Even better, inside is white. I know he means the outside between the stripes, but I really really wanted to write, nah, inside is red, full of blood, dude. Still giggling.

This one though…

Does he have a pet snake named Fluffy? I just don’t know. Certainly there’s some interesting things going on here. None of them on the topic of natural selection. None at all. Nope. Gonna have to ask him some questions tomorrow.

So that’s it for today. Finish the first round of state testing. Get lunch with friends. Try to be productive for the second half of the school day (ha!), then union meeting, home, eat leftovers, book club, stitching with podcasts, sleep. Actually sleeping would be nice, because I mostly skipped that step last night and now the other eye is twitching in off time to the first one. Very distracting. There’s stitching though! Getting this quilt done so I can get to the next one…since the world is sucking my free time away from me. Yup. Gonna grab that back somehow for next year. Gotta figure that out.

Sustaining the Unsustainable…

OK, I obviously made it back from Phoenix and QuiltCon, and there are more quilt pictures, but I don’t have time to mentally (or digitally) process them yet. I came home and went right into school/house mode, which is why I wanted to leave in the first place. We had a good time hanging out, which is nice. It’s been a long couple of years without much of that, and we definitely need more of it. Spring Break! Yeah that’s 44 days away. So is seeing my daughter again! Woo hoo! And hopefully some quilt stuff…then camping and hiking with the man. I think I planned all but two days of my Spring Break, so nothing else will get done…at all. Not a bad plan until I get there and the grading is not done.

Which is part of what I’m panicking about now (again)…grading and an upcoming field trip. Once we get there, everything will be fine, but right now, it’s just crazy.

So what’s been going on? Well here’s my QuiltCon guild in front of that same donation quilt…

A few were photoshopped in…I made it to Phoenix just in time for this photo, but some did not.

The man drove for a bit on the way back, so I got to work on those damn flowers.

Apparently a year ago I was cutting them out of wool, so that’s a year working on this. I am not fast.

That said, I am almost done with the 4th type of flower…then just 2 more types to go.

I’m also still doing Molli Sparkles’ Cut-It-Up quiltalong. This is block 4, can’t remember what it is…hang on…

X Plus…well that bottom one sure is busy. I like it. I cut out 6. They’re not hard to piece, just don’t have a lot of time at the moment.

They’ve already posted Block 5, so shockingly, I am behind. It’s OK. I will survive. As my copyeditor is emailing me about the next readthrough and school is imploding into a mushroom cloud of to-dos. Yeah.

I did come back to my own quilt, which has a deadline, that honestly, I may not meet. I took a picture of these fabrics to remind me what I used for this plant, because there’s another one that’s more complicated further up the body, and I didn’t want to find those pieces now.

I often reuse fabrics in a quilt for continuity. That’s why I keep them all together until the quilt is finished.

I also started working on the sky, which has a sunset in it. Or a sunrise. Nah, it’s a sunset.

Because why keep it simple?

Sunday night’s progress…

And Monday night’s…

I got all of the sky done except for those two and the things zooming around the sky…which I finished last night…

Well, almost. I need to do the actual meteor and the rocket. I did the clouds and flames behind them. Then I get to start on the body and all the plants.

Kitten has taken to climbing the mountain of batting to survey me from up above. She’s trying to get up into the shelves (I’m not sure why)…

She usually hangs out behind that crazy pile. I need to remodel this room: new carpet, pull out the wallpaper, get rid of the popcorn ceiling, new lighting, maybe new slider doors and a bigger, nicer window, plus STORAGE. It’s on my list. Lots of things are on my list, but apparently my septic system needs a new baffle wall, which is probably expensive and will mean I don’t remodel anything.

School is all labs this week. Exhausting but good for the kids. Not as good for us…

But if they are paying attention, this helps them learn.

This is true.

Hey! My owl box has an actual OWL…a Barn Owl. We were going to pull it down to see if it needed cleaning, but then an owl swooped out. I’m hoping it has babies. And the bunnies in our yard are annoying me by eating all the new green leaves so they will have to run fast. Sigh. Predator/prey relationships disturb me, but I also recognize their necessity. It does make me worry about trimming the trees though. It’s not like I can afford to do that right now anyway…not until the baffle wall is solved.

Anyway, the owl part is exciting. School today is an exhausting mess of move this, clean this, move that, listen to instructions (them, not me), then a meeting I really didn’t want but let myself get bullied into. Fun stuff! Do everything for your students! And then more! Yeah, it’s not sustainable…we keep saying that and then we keep on sustaining it. But more ironing tonight (after grading)…that’s a good thing.

Sexy Metal…

The alarm went off. In my dream, I was measuring out spaces for desks, but someone had moved my classroom outside, on cobblestones outside some very old (read, not found in California) building. There were sea lions nearby and a million places for kids to disappear into and a billion things for them to be distracted by, plus they were all coming from different places and we had to find room for all their luggage. Teacher dreams, man. Oh yeah, the desks had to be 6 feet apart, but ALL the school was outside, so I could only have this square of cobblestones and all the desks had to fit in that space. Ironically, I never had to do this last year, because I was in the hell they call Zoom classes, where all the desks are far apart or nonexistent and all the children are distracted.

So many levels of weirdass trauma with this pandemic.

Anyway, my weekend was busy, but I did finish all my progress report grades, although sometimes I wonder what I’m teaching and whether I’m effective or not…

Sixth metal? I’m hoping. Although I still don’t know what he’s talking about. Welcome to my world. The assignment I thought was so easy last week was apparently more confusing than I thought. Ah well. So be it. One of the wonders of teaching a school that is 90% or more English language learners.

So what else went on? Well, I traced a lot…over three hours on Saturday night…

We went to a friend’s birthday party early in the evening, and then the man watched his show and I listened to mine. When I’m tracing, I really need something that is mostly listening, not much watching.

No closed captioning, no foreign language, no action without words. Last night, I only got a little over an hour in…more like normal.

I am a quarter of the way through, but as I was tracing last night, I found a whole section I hadn’t numbered, so now, instead of 1329 pieces, I think there are 1372. Stay tuned for more brain farts.

This weekend was also the start of the Surface Design Association online conference, which I signed up for, and happily listened (and watched) to many artists talk about their work, one while driving to pilates, another while finishing grades, and one while prepping lunches. I miss most of it this week, because it’s all during school hours, but they will be recorded. And Saturday morning will be another batch of webinars I can listen to in real time. Not ideal, but doable. When I wasn’t grading or cooking, I was doing the brainless stuff I can handle at the moment…tracing stuff for blocks of the month, which keep me occupied when I don’t have the strength or energy to stand and trace.

That’s all freezer paper for a block of the month on mushrooms. I’m fully a year behind and totally OK with that. It’s a time filler. I don’t make art every hour of the day. My brain needs a break from ALL the things. Hence working on this in the evenings…

Still not done with the 3rd version of the flowers. Time-fucking-consuming. But relaxing as well. Do this stitch over and over again on 4 flowers. Then do the next stitch.

I also worked on this a little bit…a different part of my brain.

Look at the pile of fabrics provided. What do you see? How do they all go together? She needs an eye and IDK what else. More flowers. Perhaps that is a hat and not hair, and she still needs hair. A bird on her head maybe. I think they’re all facing one direction though. We’ll see. This one is different than the other ones…an entire scene instead of just a woman. Interesting.

I didn’t go to Road to California, but one of my quilts did…the left one in that block of five.

I also had a meeting of one of my art groups (on Zoom). I miss that group in person, but it was a really long meeting too. We juried new members in, so I had spent time earlier in the weekend reviewing their work and their statements and taking notes. Usually we jury just from work, but it was nice to hear them talk about their practice. Definitely a plus.

I have another art meeting (on Zoom) on Wednesday. Busy week. Long week. We’re back to 5 days of school finally. I’m just so tired all the time. I go to bed earlier than I used to, per doctor’s orders, but I don’t seem to sleep well…probably because I’m rearranging desks on cobblestones. YES, I know it sounds like rearranging chairs on the Titanic. Fully Fucking Aware of that. It’s fine. This week in science is demos and labs and rock stars. It all makes sense. Art is oil pastels. Hearing that I might have to continue to teach an elective next year…I wish I had one that was less labor- and brain-intensive. Art is hard. Teaching art is harder. I’m not sure I’m cut out for it. It’s not like teaching anything is particularly easy, but there’s this sense of talent/skill that plays in art and I just don’t have the energy for dealing with fixed mindset and art for only one period. If I didn’t have to do science as well? Maybe. We have an art teacher though and I don’t want to be her. Anyway. I get no choices on these things.

Yeah. That. You can’t tell that’s what I’m thinking because my mask is on. OK. Gotta go to school with pennies and magnets (lab!) and hopefully grade a bunch of things about balloons that don’t talk about sexy metals, and then meet with my team about field trips (what??? Finally!), and then come home and do more of that tracing thing. Plus bingewatch that show I’m listening to, because it disappears on January 31 and that isn’t that far away. Plus get enough sleep and exercise. Got it.