Braindead…

I’m feeling more and more braindead this season. Intellectual conversation? With whom? Occasionally a kid or two, but on nights when they are with their dad, the conversation is missing. I talk to the cats. I read. I talk to nothing human. Seriously…I have talked to no one since 5:25. Before that, it was the guy at Petco who wanted to know why I looked so tired (gee thanks mister). That’s it. I joined some groups where I might be able to get some of that conversation, but it’s hard to fit it in to days when I don’t get to the gym until almost 6 PM. Am I really thinking I’ll be going out after I work out, shower, and eat? That’s after 9 PM? Yeah. Not happening. The non-gym nights are taken up by kid stuff and soccer games.

Then I realized it’s already December 10 and I haven’t dealt with Christmas much…I usually send a letter (um. yeah.) and I need to do the online shopping like very soon. Plus there’s all the holiday parties with potluck stuff, because I have time to cook as well. Sigh. I’m not a fan of this time of year. I say no to lots, but there’s some things I just can’t get out of.

So once I had finished the gym and feeding the body (don’t really care much about food any more), I had an internal debate between the brain that wanted to draw and the brain that was worried about getting everything cut out before Winter Break. Drawing won.

It’s been a while. I have about 17 drawings in my head. I’ve taken notes on some of them; they’re on my phone. This one obviously isn’t done. More crone/menopausal stuff. I do have a couple more in the sketchbook that I still haven’t finished, though. I need some concentrated time to draw without other things weighing on me (cough school cough). I’m already thinking ahead to what’s next, trying to make plans.

I’m hoping to finish the quilting of the Love quilt sometime in the next week (it’s probably only an hour or two), plus finish cutting out all the Celebrating Silver pieces. There’s a soccer tournament right before Christmas that will eat up a ton of time…I’d like to have the quilt all ironed down before Christmas, but I’m not sure I can pull that off. I need to have the Silver piece done by the end of break. I think I want to do a couple smaller pieces to start the new year, but there are also two larger drawings I’d like to make into quilts. BUT, I have another piece I have to finish by November as well. I haven’t drawn it yet…maybe my goal over break is to just get it drawn. I think I’m OK on time even if I toss another big quilt in there somewhere.

Of course, reality usually kicks my ass, so we’ll see. I like to make plans, though. People always tell me how impressed they are by how much I get done. I write it down. I have time spreadsheets in my head. I hold myself accountable here. I probably chastise myself for not getting stuff done too much…obsessive? Yeah. I guess. It’s a drive, though. It’s so strong, I feel sick when I don’t make/create. It’s worse now…miss one DAY, and I start to get antsy, like I’m coming out of my skin. It really is my sanity at the moment.

I finished Kevin Hearne’s Hexed tonight…

It’s the second book in the Iron Druid Chronicles…easy but interesting read…vampires, werewolves, druids, witches, and a variety of gods and goddesses…always fun. Quick to read and enjoyable. Not sure what book is next on the list…there are quite a few. There’s another book club book, plus the third book in a series I’m reading, plus I don’t know what else. Hard to choose sometimes. I have about 6 real live paper books on hold at the library, some are on their way for pick up and some are hold 43 of 280. I don’t know when I’ll see that one. Then I have another 4 books on hold through the online library, which is the same library but a separate lending system, which is often confusing. Then the girlchild has a couple real live books for me to read and wants to loan me a series of three or four books that are on her Kindle, which means I have to be able to read them within 14 days, because that’s how long she can loan them to me. Confused yet? I am. I see so few people reading these days…except for Facebook and email. It’s sad. I love reading.

I also seem to be getting back into reading graphic novels, partially because of NetGalley, but also because I just like them. I don’t have the money to go to the movies as much as I used to, so this is the next best thing, when I can find them free…which is hard sometimes, because I like the more alternative stuff and it tends NOT to be available that way.

Anyway. I blame my braindead status on reading and drawing tonight. Oh and the gym. I don’t know if braindead is good or bad. I did meditate too…it talked about change. Do I want it? Yes I do. I just don’t know how or when. That’s always the problem, though, isn’t it? I don’t want to change so much that I am no longer making art or spending time with the kids. I don’t need something big. I need a change IN me more than outside…a change in how I feel about life, because this isn’t fun. But that’s the harder thing, isn’t it? Being able to change this cloud over me, the hole I’m in…that’s just slow and plodding. There’s no magic wand or pixie dust for that. Meanwhile, my brain is blank. Maybe it’s just tired. Try again tomorrow.

Protected: What Obscures the Sky

4 to 16 Characters

It’s taken me a while to get around to writing this review, but mostly that’s a time issue…it’s not because of the content. 4 to 16 Characters, by Kelly Hourihan, is not for the weak at heart when it comes to the internet and other electronic communication. It is composed of a lot of emails, texts, and online communication, which can make it difficult to read if you care about that (probably the target teen audience does not, and neither did I…it felt more real because of that). The story is about a teen girl who has retreated from the real world into the online one. She has many different personas that eventually become impossible to juggle, and she ends up having to deal with the real world, much as we all do.

The core story was good and kept my attention; it’s only fault was that hey, teens can be irritating sometimes, and she’s a teen. And the writing could be a difficult adjustment for those who don’t live on the Internet; most teens would have no issues with either of those things.

I reviewed this from an ARC via NetGalley; no money etc. changed hands. The book is due to release in early November.

Reading as an Escape

I love summer for the time to read. I read fast and I read a lot. The best books are big hulking tomes over 800 pages. I read a fairly wide variety of stuff, although rarely nonfiction. Going through this summer, I think the only thing that has calmed my brain’s overactivity has been reading (and even then, sometimes the book failed). This is the last three weeks of books (I’m also on Goodreads, which I think posts to the right sidebar, although on mobile devices you won’t see that). These have been a real escape for me. When my brain goes on overload, I read. When I can’t fall asleep, I read. I read at the gym. I read as I’m eating yet another meal alone. When school starts, I have less time to read, but I will still do it…

First there was Sacre Bleu: A Comedy d’Art by Christopher Moore.

I had checked this book out months ago, but then didn’t have time to read it (my job!). I loved this book, but I have a big art background and I think that helps. It’s a little out there, but I was highly amused and entertained by it.

Then I read Flight Behavior by Barbara Kingsolver.

I also loved this book, about climate change and the Monarch butterflies. Then again, I love all her books.

I picked this book up at Powell’s Books in Portland last month, but hadn’t read it yet. This is Youth in Revolt by C.D. Payne.

I chose it for the cover, obviously, but I realized as I was reading that I had seen this movie a while ago. The book was OK…it got a little annoying at parts, but so do teenagers, and that’s what it was about. There seemed to be way more words than were needed to tell the story.

On the same trip, I picked up Storm of the Century: An Original Screenplay by Stephen King.

This was interesting because it was actually a screenplay with directions and everything. The story itself was OK…considering it was meant to be a miniseries and never existed as a book, it was OK.

Then I read Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer.

Yes, I know it’s a movie too, but I haven’t seen it. I almost didn’t read this one, because I knew it would have sad parts, and maybe that’s not such a good idea at the moment, but it was a good story and I liked it.

Then I read Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children by Ransom Riggs.

You may start to think that I like everything. I liked this, and there’s a 2nd book coming out about the same characters. It’s kind of more of a kids’ book (even though it’s marketed to adults)…it’s a little quirky, for sure.

My dad hiked the whole Pacific Crest Trail some years back, and I’ve hiked short bits of it, so I wanted to read Wild, by Cheryl Strayed, about her crazy-ass trip on the PCT.

It was an interesting book. She’s kind of a whiner and not particularly smart (at least about trails and hiking), but she does survive it (and she’s writing this about it years later). This was the only nonfiction book of the bunch.

Then I realized the second book in the Ashfall series was out, Ashen Winter by Mike Mullin.

I really really liked Ashfall. I only liked Ashen Winter. There were some unbelievable things (I know, when you look at what I read, there are LOTS of unbelievable things, but this was really over the top) and a little too much drama, but I think this is a YA book, so that’s pretty standard. I suspect there will be a third book, but maybe not.

I haven’t stopped reading…I just thought I should catch up on all these, because I hadn’t been posting about them when I finished, like I normally do. Maybe I’ll get back into the habit now.