Watch Out, You Might Get What You’re After*

I guess I got to sleep in on Thursday morning instead of going to school, so that makes up for being awake early on a Saturday to go to school. Ugh. My brain is so not ready. It wants a 3-day weekend. It’s coming, dear brain, it’s coming. But then you’ll have to get up early to go to the dentist. Because teachers have to do all their dental work on holidays and breaks.

I was encouraged by a friend the other day to say No Thank You to a bunch of things. I tried that yesterday with a doctor’s referral. Let’s see how that goes. (It’s OK…it’s not really something I need…it’s something the insurance company thinks I need, which is ironic, because usually insurance companies want to do less rather than more.) I have some social commitments where I feel the same way, though, so I’m going to try the polite No Thank You with them as well. I’m just way too overwhelmed with stuff in general this year, mostly because of the art stuff and the constant planning of curriculum for school. Every day, dammit. And some people are really not understanding about that and it irritates me. So instead of trying to explain to them that my life is not like their lives, I’m just going to say No Thank You over and over again until it catches on.

So sometime last night, after 90 minutes on chat with AT&T, who can go suck my dick right now (seriously), and another 20 minutes with my dad talking about how my house is falling down and how the trees are trying to kill me and my pets, and then trying to get in touch with my daughter, whose phone is intermittently dead at the moment (see AT&T above), I was done. I wanted to come home yesterday and be uber-efficient and grade for like 3 hours and…holy shit, because I graded for like 6 hours on Wednesday and Thursday and I didn’t even make a fucking dent in it…but that didn’t happen. I sat there and did my stitch for the day…the weird purple flower thing above the e in Prosper. It’s a whipped thing with some other stuff.

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Seriously, I’m not getting up to figure out what it’s called. It’s one of those spiderwebby things, but whipped around, so you get the ridges on top. And I had thread left over, so I did some lazy daisies and a few French knots. There’s a shitload of French knots in this thing. Doing this makes you realize how few stitches are actually out there. I should probably pull a different stitch book out…maybe one of the crazy quilt stitch books.

I should go back in the day. I picked this sweet beast up from the other house after work (don’t even ask)…

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How can you not love that face? Then in my mail was this patch/mini-quilt from Joshua Durst, a quilter who saw that my quilt was banned from AQS and made this patch and wore it around the next AQS show and then sent it to me…

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After yesterday at school, this was nice to get. It was really nice. Even though that seems like a million years ago. Still no penis though.

And then there’s this guy.

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He wanted a tummy rub. They’re cute when they’re small. They’re also bitey and barky, but cute. Almost makes up for the other crap.

Anyway, after all that, I graded for a bit and then made dinner and then sat down again and thought, holy shit, self, I’m way too tired and stressed to do anything, let alone quilt, and I stewed in that for a while, graded some more, tried to release some of that stress, because that’s really just shit I’m doing to myself and I don’t need to do that.

I finally got up and came in here and did some stuff online (paid bills, cleaned up email, worked on some stuff for school), and then sat down to quilt.

And oh my god, why do I never remember how relaxing it is to just quilt and listen to music (when the machine is behaving and the world is good)?

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So I finished the bottom part of the skeleton and wandered around the pelvic girdle and did the sides of the stove and then that tree with all the peaches and the tiny hands and came back up and did part of a ribcage and THEN…

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Then I was tired. Because it was after midnight. This is a large beast and it is a bit of a pain in the assholular area in the middle to move it around, but it’s getting done. I’m not quite halfway up on the outlining, and there’s a lot of stuff in the gut area, but I’m getting there. Please remind me next time when I’m sitting on the couch all cranky as shit that this crap makes me feel better and yes I stay up way too fucking late, especially when I have to be up early, but whatever. This is me and how I roll and what’s goin’ down. Fuck yeah. Now I’m going to teacher school to learn about concrete. Fuck me.

*Talking Heads, Burning Down the House

It Doesn’t Matter if You Want It Back*

I didn’t post yesterday. I had a good reason. I also didn’t quilt on Wednesday. Good reason. And didn’t go to work for two days. Good reason, but I might have to do some damage control today, looking at what didn’t get turned in. I hate that. Teacher’s not there, can’t do my work. Frustrating. If teacher’s not there, there’s a damn good reason for it.

I did quilt last night for a bit…

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The machine is still quilting just fine. Who knows what that tension clusterfuck was about. I’m about 5 1/2 hours in…hopefully more tonight…the weekend is a little busy though. Probably only have 20 hours to go.

Here’s where I spent a good chunk of time the last two days. Grading stuff.

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So at least I got a bunch of that done…not enough…never enough.

For the year of stitch, I did two days in one…see? I didn’t even do two stitches…or did I? I stitched the whipped running stitch and then dropped some extra French knots in the flowers where the running stitch stopped and then filled in the ‘s’ with something…not split stitch. Aargh. Can’t remember the name.

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Stem stitch. That’s it. It needs a hand. Like an actual stitched hand.

Then I went to my stitching meeting last night and almost finished this block with the stuff in the center of the flower. I needed a marking pencil and some circle templates to do the last bit.

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I can’t find any marking pencils. Should have bought one when I was at JoAnns hell the other day. I know I have a circle template somewhere.

This is the 2nd block in the Folk Tails quilt. Those are warthogs. Aren’t they cute?

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They need eyeballs and tusks and hairy bits. All of which is coming. I was pretty braindead at some point last night, so I started tracing and cutting the Wonder Under for the next month of these. I actually have the first three months all sewn down, but not embroidered. The next few months, four months actually I think, are cut out, but not sewn down, so I figured I’d get the rest cut out. I really like this pattern…it’s funky. But I don’t have a lot of free time for these any more. Perhaps I should add to my daily stitch practice…must stitch something down on this quilt.

Anyway. I had some good ideas for the next quilt. It’s impossible to keep it from skewing politically. I can’t keep that shit out of my head. I’m sitting here trying to teach my students not to make claims without evidence that backs them up, and my government has decided that lying and making shit up is the new status quo. I hate this. Yes, there’s always been lying going on in government, but not like this. This is just plain crazy.

*Amanda Palmer, Want It Back

I’m Gonna Free Fall out into Nothin’*

For some reason, it was a relief to let January go. I even changed the calendars (yes…more than one) last night. Both pages now have colorful pictures instead of gray January days. You’d think calendar makers would realize we need more color in January, not that it’s really an issue here in San Diego, weatherwise…just mentally. February is a nice short month with two 3-day weekends. I have some free time in February…well, whatever free time is for me, because it’s generally not sitting around and relaxing. It’s not really my thing.

That said, I’m not at school today and tomorrow, and it’s not to relax. Or quilt. But that’s the way it is sometimes.

I’d like to introduce you to one of the players in 2017…this is the asshole mockingbird who will try to keep me up every night for the next 6 months.

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Yup. I saw him. Although he’s still in a neighbor’s yard at night at the moment. He’s not moved into my hearing space. So that’s good. Last year there were two…dueling mockingbirds. He shut up when I walked closer to him. Yeah asshole. I see you.

I did something on here…it’s pretty washed out…that feather leaf thing on the right…it’s got a light blue tint on the top in real life…

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And then I came in the office and sent a cranky political email to the ignorant slob who is my state senator. He started it by sending me an email asking for my moral support for discriminating against immigrants. Asshole. He won’t read it. One of his little college flunkies will. I’m hoping to get an answer that makes very little sense. Then I entered another art show. I’m trying to keep entering, even though I have a ton of stuff traveling and a solo show coming up. The stuff needs to get out there.

Finally I quilted. I got the whole oven door section done…

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Yes, there’s a skull of death on the door.

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It’s the kitchen…where women get trapped, even these days. Like there’s something on the X chromosome that makes us better at it. Bad argument. Men have an X chromosome too.

After all that deep thought, I got into the stovetop…at least one side of it.

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I’ve always had cats who were fascinated by the stove top, although mine is separate from the oven. Right now, I have one who is pretty cautious about it and one who never goes on the counters…a nice respite from some of the furry bastards who would appear out of nowhere when pots were bubbling away everywhere. None burned their fluffy little toes, but I think that was a miracle some days.

Four hours and a bit into the quilting. Not even close to halfway through the outlining. There’s a lot on this beast. Plus it’s big. It’s behaving mostly…its sheer size means there’s a lot of pulling and shoving under the needle, trying to get it to move around better. That will get worse in the torso area. Oh well. My hands start to hurt with too much of that, but if I look a week out, I don’t think there’s any long stretches of sewing time that will exacerbate that (pros and cons). Ironically, about the time I get more time (3-day weekend), I will probably be done or close to it. Hopefully. Which means I need to get the next one drawn! Or do the other bathtub next. We’ll see. I can’t get my head around that yet. I will have my sketchbook over the next two days. Maybe something will dribble out.

*Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, Free Fallin’

Want to Get out My Brain*

Just paid college for February. Ouch. Let’s hope they save the world. Or at least take care of me when I’m old.

With daylight savings time, it makes it hard for me to get home early enough in winter to walk the dogs, but yesterday I ran home and changed and threw them into the car to beat the sunset. I got to one of my favorite hiking spots and out of the car and there’s the old guy with his two ancient dogs and then I see the path. Yes. That is the path. Those are ducks swimming down the path. Huh. Damn.

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OK. I can do this. Hiked around through the brush and found a spot to go over the stream (because now there’s a stream), but the mud wasn’t as solid as I thought…

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Hmmm. Well that’s what boots are for, right? Impressive.

Saw this on the trail. Assume it’s for photographing wildlife, so they’ll enjoy Simba pooping and my scooping it up into a bag.

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It was gorgeous out…but when we got over to this side, the second valley, Simba started balking like crazy. I picked him up. Calli didn’t show any signs of distress, so I took my headphones out of my ears and heard the yipping, fairly close, of a small pack of coyotes. Huh. Well.

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Over there. Never saw them, although they did get fairly close at some point. We did turn around and head back…at a fairly fast clip. I didn’t think they’d bug me and the Golden Retriever, but the little guy is a delicacy.

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I’ve seen coyotes out there twice at a distance, just watching, but never heard a pack.

The path was crisscrossed with many streams from the massive rains a week ago.

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It was awesome to get back out there. We were glad to get home and relax a bit after. We all have our own way of relaxing, right?

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Me? I stitch. I put flowers on all those stems from yesterday…which was three colors, three strands of thread, so more than I have been doing in one night.

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Then I headed in to quilt. I wasn’t sure it was going to go OK, so I was hesitant after all the machine problems last week. Kitten meditated for me.

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But after a slow start and a broken needle, everything was fine. No tension issues at all, the bastard.

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It’s going to take a long time to quilt this. I worked for about 2 1/2 hours yesterday and I don’t even have the whole oven door done. I did go up the sides a bit on each side though.

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Putting it up on the machine to keep cats off of it.

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It’s a big quilt. Expect to see me quilting for days.

The dogs stopped bugging me at some point. I stayed up way too late because the quilting was going well and I didn’t want to stop. When I finally headed for bed, there were no dogs in the living room…instead they had put themselves to bed…the same bed…

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Awwww. Sweet puppy. Zonked old lady.

*K. Flay, Get It Right

Watch It All Fall Down*

Some days, I get to the end of them, and it feels really good, really satisfying, mostly because I blasted through a bunch of stuff on the to-do list. I think my whole life is the to-do list sometimes. I’m driven. Sometimes to tears or insanity, but definitely driven.

It was a productive weekend (not for school, but that place eats up too much of my time anyway). I spent most of Saturday afternoon, evening, and night finishing the stitch down on the newest quilt. I spent a lot of time fighting tension issues with the machine, but for the last 2 1/2 hours, it stopped. Proof that it’s crazy. So at some point, even though I was tired (over 5 hours of stitching), I just kept going because (a) I wanted it to be done and (b) I was afraid if I left it for Sunday, it would start fucking up again and I just couldn’t deal with that.

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Sometime around dinner time, I took a break from stitching down though…and did two days of a year of stitches…the yellow french knot flowers above Long and the purple flowers around the P.

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That’s a month of work, basically. This piece of fabric might not be big enough. Huh.

I was waiting for the pizza guy. No, I didn’t plan for Saturday dinner. Don’t ask. I thought I might have other plans. So I kept working on this one until he showed up. It’s almost done.

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It’s the first block of Sue Spargo’s Folk Tails, started a long time ago. Sigh. I like the hand-stitching part of these…not so much the finishing though. I have one that is ready to be quilted and one that is ready to be pieced and borders put on…and this one is from two years ago? I think. I love her stuff, but without soccer games to waste time at, I don’t do as much of it as I used to. I’m more inclined to grade papers if I have time in a waiting place.

Then I got back to stitching. This is when it started being much smoother…about an hour in.

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I finished around 11:30 PM.

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What a relief. The machine was being a pain.

This is Sunday’s year of stitches…the green little plants in the middle. They’ll get flowery bits too.

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This is how it ends up on the couch when it’s cold. Kathy sandwich.

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I only just persuaded the cat to get off my lap so I could sew.

Then came the hard work of the day. I pieced, ironed, and taped the backing to the floor. I had realized around 4 that I had no piece of batting big enough, so I kamikazed to JoAnns and bought that and thread for quilting. I thought ahead! Then after dinner with the parentals, I finished drying the batting, which I had washed quickly…and then ironed the front. It was too big. I knew I’d be trimming like 6 inches off each dimension, so I did it beforehand, so I wouldn’t waste time and fabric quilting all that extra crap that I was gonna cut off eventually anyway.

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And then I pinbasted it. It didn’t take as long as I thought it would.

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I started around 10:15 and was done around 11. It’s currently measuring 56″ x 92″. I think that’s the longest quilt I’ve ever made. I warned my photographer. His eyes went a little wide.

Anyway, it’s such a relief to now be ready for the quilting stage. And as for the tension, it was freakishly perfect during the straight stitching…so I’m wondering if this machine just doesn’t like the new invisible thread. Except it started doing this on the last quilt a little, which was the old invisible thread (different brand). I honestly think it just needs some adjustment. My machine guy said I had to bring it in once a year to stay in his warranty, and I will do that, but I suspect with the amount of quilting I’ve been doing, that it needs more adjustment than that. We’ll see how the quilting goes, starting tonight. I’m expecting the quilting to take more than 20 hours, so no way am I finishing this week. And with a 4-hour class on Saturday, the weekend is kind of a mess too. Oh well. It will be enough to get started and try to get 2-3 hours done a night. And hopefully start drawing the next one.

I’m revising goals left and right. All the solo show stuff needs to be done and photographed by April 28. Oh shit. OK. I got this. There’s an immigrant quilt in my head too, as of the crazy of the last two days. I have to say it’s at times like this when I really love my country, coming out in support of those being detained in airports, of governors and senators showing up in airports and demanding release, of judges doing the right thing, of people yelling loud, of McCain and Graham, Lindsey Graham for gosh sakes, standing up for our people. I never thought I’d have a positive thing to say about that man, but there it is. So yeah, this quilt is huge in my head, YUGE, but I don’t have time to draw that right now! So I’m writing notes about what’s in there, sketching out some stuff. For later this year.

When the boychild was a baby, he loved the Natalie Merchant album with the song below on it (Tigerlily)…he had colic and would scream and cry for 2 or 3 hours every night. I would stand and rock him to this album. I wonder if he remembers the songs.

*Natalie Merchant, San Andreas Fault

She Splutters Pistol Shots*

A late afternoon post…not because it’s been a lazy day, of course, but because I was up and out early, too early to get my act together on the computer. Now it’s mid-afternoon and I’ve spent three hours in an educators’ meeting for those trying to protect our students from any political fallout (wow…I don’t even know what to say about the immigration crackdown), but also to protect teachers who are facing issues with what they’re required to teach and parents or community members who are clueless. Honestly. They are clueless.

I stitched during the meeting. I listen while I stitch…

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I even sign up for committees, take notes, look stuff up, and contribute. Because I can do two things at once. Some people can’t…and that’s OK. I love being told I can’t stitch and think at the same time. That didn’t happen today, but I’m having some work-related frustration that goes with that.

I don’t get much done on these normally, because I’m not sitting in a lot of meetings really. Or I grade during meetings, because that’s a have-to.

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But now I’m on a subcommittee. Or a committee. I’m not sure which. It’s OK. It’s the stuff I’m trained for…how to protect teachers who are being told to change what they teach so it doesn’t scare the public. That’s a block from Sue Spargo’s Folk Tails Block of the Month, by the way. I’m way behind.

I had to laugh though. A few people have commented that they didn’t like the Women’s March because of the inappropriate hats…not the pussy hats, because those are cats, right? (although some were upset that we used the word pussy) But the (as they called them) Vagina Hats (yes this is related to the educators’ meeting). So. I googled that shit. Because I’d seen some hats that were what I think what she was talking about…but I also saw some of this…which I love.

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But I think they meant more like this…

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And here’s the deal. Y’all need to be educated if you think that’s a vagina. It’s a vulva. And why they’re reviled, I will never know. They bring babies into the world. They are a source of pleasure. They are a pain in the (um…) vulva because they also deal with periods and shaving stigma and all that crap, but in general, I think very positively of the vulva and its attributes. But we in America are terrified of this small stretch of feminine territory and all it encompasses, so yeah. So that means some people think it’s inappropriate. But they aren’t even educated about what it’s called. Probably aren’t really clear on what it does either. Whatever. So stay home. We’ll march for your freedoms.

Probably this political stuff doesn’t reduce my stress. But I think I’d go crazy just sitting at home and not doing something about the batshit crazy I’m seeing out there.

I came home to a really nice package though…bits and pieces of hand-marbled fabric from the Morans, who did some commissioned fabric for me years back. I think their fabric is in almost every quilt I make, because I only use small pieces and I still have stuff from way back. Seriously, I was still married when I had them do the commissions. I love this batch of colors, though…they will definitely find their way into my stuff.

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Go click on that link and get some of their awesome fabric.

Yesterday. Ah yesterday. So here’s why I got no art done yesterday. First of all, labs all week have stretched the patience of me and my coworker so thin…but we did manage to hammer out a rough version of something I will probably be drawing next week some time…

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And that’s only part of it…trying to connect all the different pieces as we go into teaching climate change. You know, that thing that apparently doesn’t exist. If you believe that, your ignorance is showing.

Here’s the branches I came home to…well, minus the huge one in the backyard. Nothing hit any structures…and they are all now cut up.

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The picture is deceptive. Two of those were heavy enough that they took me pulling with all my might to get them to that spot in the yard. I didn’t even try with the one in the backyard…it was too damn big to drag.

And then I gamed until late. No energy for sewing after that. I went to bed with my book and a cup of tea and eventually passed out.

I’m posting this for Tanya, who is worried that my house is falling down. Oh, yeah, that board that slipped? We currently have a 2×4 propped up in a cement block that is holding it up until everything dries out enough to do something.

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Of course the board with the K on it is rotten. It’s been rotten since 1998, when we moved in. They were supposed to replace it back then and we missed it. So there’s wood to be replaced and boards to be reattached. If you don’t know anything about teaching, you won’t know that making phone calls and trying to get service people to show up on our schedules is virtually impossible during the school year. I’d have to take the day off just to make phone calls, and that’s not an option. I’ll aim for Spring Break. The house isn’t falling down. I just need a decent carpenter or contractor. And money. Ha! That might be the biggest issue, as I send the monthly college tithing off this afternoon. It’s more than I get paid in a month.

Please don’t notice that I don’t have a stitch a day today. You’re right. I’ll have two done later today and then one tomorrow. I always catch up.

Yeah. It’s never-ending. I wanted to go to an art event this afternoon, but I’m tired and can’t deal with parking downtown today. So I’m going to finish this up and try to stitch down for a while. While wearing a vulva hat. Yeah.

*alt-J, Breezeblocks

Alright Already We’ll All Float On*

OK, I’m getting there. Somewhere. Crap though. I just realized I was supposed to email a photo somewhere and I didn’t do it. Damn. So keeping on top of all the little shit is driving me a bit bonkers. Overuse of the calendar…

So I have a bunch of stuff to do this weekend, as always, but mostly it’s art. Well. And politics. But hopefully that’s a good thing. You don’t stop doing that because of the crazy facing you, because you think it’s not doing anything. You keep doing it because the little stuff will eventually add up and make a difference.

I finished the drawing. I did use pencil to sketch in where the guy would go, just to make sure I didn’t fuck it up at that stage.

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My quilts have a lot of detail in them, but not this much. Although looking at this, I think it would make a great quilt. But all those leaves and tree bits! Maybe I could simplify (but then it won’t be as cool). Aack. Anyway, the drawing probably took 5 hours or so over the two days, and that doesn’t count the drawing I did back in December that was sort of a pre-draw to this…which I didn’t like. But it got me here. There were 4 or 5 other false starts. It happens. I’m going to hopefully have some drawing time next week, just because I’ll be somewhere my sewing machine is not.

More of this year of stitches…the variegated green above Long. I’ll probably toss a bunch of french knots in there.

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It’s pretty cold at night here. Simba’s nose was apparently cold. So the whole time I sewed and drew, he had it shoved under some part of my body.

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I finished the drawing, scanned it, and sent it off to its person. And then started trying to sew. I almost gave up completely on the machine. I had cleaned everything out and rethreaded everything, and the tension was still way off. I don’t know how to open the top part…I’m suspecting I’m not supposed to, but there was a possibility there was thread in there. I haven’t figured that part out, although sewing made a short piece of monofilament pop out. Interesting. Then I switched needle size and it seemed to behave. And then it didn’t. I’m hoping that’s a brief fart of stupidity that won’t continue. I’m frustrated as hell over not getting it to behave.

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I didn’t get very far last night. It’ll get done this weekend and hopefully sandwiched as well…even if I have to pull out the old machine to make it work. It worked so well for the last two quilts. Two? Or has it been three? It’s been three. There were some tension issues in the last one. I thought it was just me. Sigh. I don’t have time for this.

*Modest Mouse, Float On

Golden Dreams Were Shiny Days*

‘Twas better yesterday. The labs were a bit smoother than before. Mostly I dealt with kids who can’t work with other people. I’m having a hard time getting stuff done at home though. I’m really tired…even went to bed early (ish) last night (before midnight). Really tired is usually a message from the body, and I try to pay attention to those. I didn’t try sewing on the machine yesterday though…another deadline popped up. So I tried to deal with that…a friend has written a performance piece and wanted a drawing. I’ve been sitting on it for months because it was hard to wrap my head around it. I’m not particularly good at drawing to commission. To theme? Even then, it’s a crapshoot. My version of the theme is often not the organizer’s version. I’m not sure my brain sees what y’all see. I don’t know because all I have is my brain, but I know that words and music put images in my head that don’t necessarily match others’ perceptions. I’m OK with that, but in a situation like this, I just have to hope that what I see is what they see (it probably isn’t).

Anyway, I started drawings about 7 times…this one was doing OK until I got to the legs and the guy, but it’s OK…I used it for the next three iterations.

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So this is where I’m at now…then I was sort of frozen because I hadn’t put the other figure in and I was afraid I was gonna fuck it up.

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So I’ll try to do the other figure and the rest of the tree tonight. So that’s why I didn’t sew, although I could have at that point. Maybe. I just wasn’t in the mood to fuss with the machine.

I spent most of the night with animals…it was cold…

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There is no room for people on my couches. At some point, they all moved around and I got three in a row…

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I took a break from drawing to do the feathery leaves around the P…

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Then I had two of them back…

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A yin yang of furballs.

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Not the most productive night…but whatever. I’m trying not to get frustrated with myself for not being further along on this quilt, but it is what it is. I’m stressed. I’m feeling overwhelmed. I’m doing the best I can right now. Much like many of us, I think. So hopefully tonight I’ll finish the drawing and then go back to the stitch down. Hopefully the machine will behave.

*Earth, Wind, and Fire, September

Karma Police, Arrest This Man*

Plagued by frustration this week. Really. So what is one to do? Well actually DOING does help, although sometimes, like last night, it causes additional frustration. At some point, sleep is the only option.

I did start stitching down at a fairly early hour, and was mostly successful…

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Although the tension was having issues, which is more than a little frustrating. I’m thinking it needs adjusting of some sort. It seems really random. So I kept trying to get it to its happy place (and me to mine).

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And then I broke a needle (still not sure how) and then I couldn’t get it to anywhere happy at all. I rethreaded everything. Tried everything.

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Finally turned it off and walked away. Fucker. It better work tonight. I did finally bring the other one home, and it does work as long as it doesn’t get too hot (not a problem this week), so I can throw it in for a while if this keeps happening. But so frustrating…because there doesn’t seem to be a logical reason for the lame-i-tude. I hate not being able to fix it myself. How long have I been sewing? 42 years? I should be able to make it work.

That was after a frustrating day at school. So. Hopefully today will be better, because this week is kicking my butt and I’m not even halfway through.

Sometimes puppies help with that and sometimes they’re just bitey assholes. You pick.

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I added the orange stars and crosses on the left. Gonna fill in all that space around the words.

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I pulled the beanbag out of my son’s room into my office, so the puppy could sleep in there while I’m stitching. But this is what happened. And she’s scary, so he just stares at her. Now I feel bad, because Simba really did think that was his beanbag. Sigh.

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My daily ball-throwing exercise…once they had decided they were too tired to run any more.

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Calli gave up way before Simba did. He would just leap over her.

OK. Well. I have a plan if the machine continues to create stitch nests. I’m not sure I have a plan for how to deal with students being frustrating today, but I’ll work on it. I know they don’t think things through and I have to remind them of 17 million things, which frustrates me as well. Today will be different than yesterday. I just have to keep telling myself that. Also true of the big picture…the political stuff is weighing on me. I just keep taking tiny actions, because that’s what I can do. And not engaging with those who still think I don’t have a right to object. There’s really no relief at the moment.

*Radiohead, Karma Police

Pressure Pushing Down on Me*

I’m feeling. Yup. There we are. I write postcards to my senators yesterday, amusingly, because I’m in California and they’re both women, Democrat women. But I expect more from them because of that. My local guys, well, that’s another thing. They’re gonna get me in person. A voter and teacher in their district…maybe they don’t have a clue that not everyone is is a white Made in America. That seems unlikely, but whatever.

So I came home from a staff meeting where I felt frustrated. I’m an adult, not a young one, and I know how I learn, how I retain information. And I’m back to an authority figure who won’t respect that. Sigh. The first one I remember was maybe 2nd or 3rd grade? My mom handled that. But now I’m not allowed to use technology to take notes. So to keep art brain entertained, because otherwise she causes issues, I drew.

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The principal was talking (incorrectly) about nuclear fission and fusion…hence the nuclear power cooling towers. I can’t explain the rest. It would make a nice coloring book image maybe. It’s not even done. I brought it home.

I did all my school and political stuff after that…and then made dinner. Honestly, my brain wasn’t into anything last night. Just tired. And frustrated. Three animals in this picture, two of them on or very close to me.

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Then I stitched the last word. Now to fill in with all the stitches.

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I stitched down for a little while. The dogs needed a lot of entertainment yesterday, so I didn’t get much done. Here it is piled up on the sewing machine to keep the cats off it.

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I’m hoping I have a better attitude toward it tonight. Hard to say. It’s a long process. And sometimes frustrating. The machine is having some random issues that make me swear at it. I finally threw out the end of the spool of Sulky transparent thread, because it was behaving so badly. I don’t like wasting supplies, but it was causing me to waste time, which is more important than the throwing-out part. But it’s still having some issues. Oh well.

Sigh. OK. Gotta go to school, much as I don’t want to. Days and days of labs…kinda driving me nuts. A couple classes are fine, but one is remarkably incapable of reading instructions. And the clean up. Sigh. Geez, I’ve got a great feeling going into today. Meditate on the way to work?

*Queen and David Bowie, Under Pressure