Working Hard on the Undead

All day in class. I’m a little braindead. Ironic, since we planned a unit on zombies. It’s a different way to use your brain though. I have to turn that part on and try to get it to go. Like an engine that hasn’t been started in a while. And then it dies at 2 PM. OK, that happens during the school year too. I do really badly with the short days when we end at 2:30 and then go into meetings. I am not an afternoon brainiac. I’ll come back to life in about an hour or so. But even right now…ugh. I is tired.

I did manage to finally start ironing the big quilt last night though. A miracle. I kept putting off the start, because I knew it would be hard and time-consuming, and I wasn’t sure if I should do both quilt items at the same time, the big one I’ve been working on for the last month or the 17-foot human. Or if I should get ironed as fast as possible and then start sewing? I just don’t know. I have my eye on the calendar and the amount of time left, though, and I decided to iron.

I didn’t get very far. I laid out the first 100 pieces…

of almost 1900. And then I ironed the first 50 together, I think…not even.

And then I realized how early I had to be up in the morning, and I went to bed. Which did no freakin’ good, because I couldn’t fall asleep. So frustrating. I don’t know if it’s stress or trying to go to sleep earlier than my body wants to…but at the moment, I don’t have any brain power and I want a nap. That is not a good sign. I’m hoping to iron some more tonight, but really, I also need to plan at least the first week or so of the school year, especially since I will be gone on the 3rd day of school. Don’t know what to do about that. Ugh. Bad timing.

I’m figuring this will take at least 20 hours to iron together. In fact, I can look at last year’s big quilt, which was almost as big bad and ugly as this one…and it took almost 23 hours. OK. Revise. Let’s say 25 hours of ironing. I could do that by Monday if I worked my butt off and didn’t deal with school at all. So. Yeah. I’ll try, but realistically? Nah. Soonish though. I finished washing all the fabric I got from the SIL last night, so all those are ready for the string piecing. But this space can’t handle my doing both at the same time. It’s just not big enough. I can sew and iron at the same time, but not if I have fabric pieces all over the place.

Do you remember that I was going to clean this room over the summer? Yeah. It’s funny to me too.

The drawing is so big, it hits the floor, and the fan was making it waft all over the place. Kitten watched carefully…

And occasionally attacked it. With vigor.

Of course, she’s been sleeping all day and not working hard on the undead, like me.

Tomorrow, more interviews. Then I can haz 2.5 days off until the real crap begins. I should probably figure some stuff out, like the things I need for the first week or so. Eh. I don’t know what it means that I’m not engaged and ready to work. Some teachers have been at school, in their classrooms, for days. Redoing boards and decorating and I really don’t know what else. I found everything in about 3 hours. I probably need another 2 or 3 hours and I’m good. The girlchild will help next week with labels and stuff like that. I really need time to finish the new website and figure my brain out.

But I’d rather be ironing. Or apparently sleeping.

Birthdays and Snakes and Thread, Oh My!

Aaargh. So. Life and school kick my ass yet again. Girlchild, oh lovely beast, turned 18 on Saturday. She wanted to go to the zoo…with her family (and one friend) to celebrate her newly won adulthood. People congratulated me that I managed to keep both children alive until adulthood. I don’t know how I feel about that. I know I wrote a particularly poignant post about the boychild growing up and going to college (actually, he was already 18 and I think I wrote it for his graduation…you can read it here if you want to tear up a bit…it still makes ME cry, but I am the mom.). Maybe I will get poignant and misty-eyed about the girlchild when she is gone. OK, that’s a lie. I’ve done a ton of misting all summer, and I kept patting her head on Sunday, but that was all.

OK. Here she is age 6…princess sweatshirt and all. She loved pink for the longest time…

WordPress has apparently changed their add media button. Excuse me while I kill a tech person. Wow. That was weird. Automatic text box with a caption in it. Sigh.

Anyway. So we trundled off to the zoo on Sunday…

Where we saw ALL the animals. Yup. That’s right.

Here’s the girlchild with one of her besties…they’re all leaving for college in the next two weeks, so they travel in packs at the moment. Yes, she is fondling an ancient statue of an elephant.

I have been to the zoo every year for the last 13 years with approximately 150-200 7th graders, so I have seen ALL of it. Really. I love this cactusy thing every time.

I have never gotten a good picture of a camel though. Thanks sweetie.

I would get a backache in that position…but it is impressive.

Then we came home and crashed for a bit before going out for a foodie birthday dinner. Home for presents. And then they all left for Arrowhead this morning, so it’s full of silence here.

Except I spent most of the day either on the phone being a manager of the family (aargh) or at school, trying to function. Lots of talking and finally getting stuff done. I’ve found most everything I put away (always a good sign) and threw out a bunch of stuff and now am trying to organize the rest. I have done ZERO planning for school. I never wait this late. I just can’t get my head into it.

I hit the library and Staples on the way home, then went grocery shopping, but still haven’t made any dinner. Too tired. I really want the energy to make art. It was barely any art on Saturday. None on Sunday. None so far today. No art makes Kathy fucking cranky. And irritable. Yup. And I have a professional development thing all day tomorrow and more interviews on Wednesday, and really, I’m done. Except this is only the start of the school year and I desperately need that paycheck. So it really doesn’t matter how I feel about it.

I will find balance. I will find my happy spot. Ha. Middle-school brain.

I did do some stuff on Saturday. I decided that instead of using a pen to go over the pencil line I’d drawn on the muslin figure, and then turning it over and drawing the line on the back, I would sew it instead. First I sewed the side strips on…

I did not even do seams. I just sewed them together, one on top of the other. This thing’s gonna be sewn within an inch of its life. I don’t need to fuss that much over it. Plus I had a giant brain fart when I was trying to figure out how to flip the seam. So I said fuck it.

Then I stitched a red line over the pencil line for the whole thing…

I had a ton of thread from a friend’s mom who died…one spool is now gone.

It took way longer than I thought it should…two hours plus. Because this thing is HUGE. And yeah, it puckered a bit, but I ironed it and I don’t care. So there. My SIL sent a box of fabric that arrived today…lots of long strips from one of those jelly roll things (I have never had a jelly roll in my house until now), which will be really easy to use when I string piece. I haven’t really figured out the HOW of the piecing…how will I keep track of all the fabric, or will it just be a disaster area in here? Should I be ironing the other quilt together first (probably)? How am I going to get all this done in time (stop sleeping now)? Why can’t someone feed me while I’m doing this so I don’t have to figure out what I want to eat? Girlchild left me her leftover out-to-breakfast from the other morning. Oh god in heaven, it was waffles with sausages baked into them. I died and went to heaven. Seriously. Sausage heaven.

Unfortunately, nothing in the dinner realm is as exciting, and I suspect a good portion of the excitement was because I didn’t have to cook anything. Really, I wish there were another serving of her breakfast hidden in the fridge so I could eat that, but since I cleaned everything out, I know there isn’t. Dammit.

OK. I should eat and then pretend to make art or something like a real artist until I can go to bed and get up really early and pretend to be a science teacher. And if I pretend long enough, maybe I can be a real boy. Um. Science teacher. Artist.

Saturday Morning Art Headache

So when I wake up on a Saturday morning with a headache, it’s usually because I stayed up too late making art…yup. I did. I partied with fabric. But it was good. I mean, it was good once I woke up this morning and realized everything I got done. Yesterday it felt…well…less good. I am still not fully recovered and I get these weird moments when I feel like I’m going to collapse, all dizzy and weirded out and like low blood sugar, but my blood sugar is fine. I think it’s just exhaustion, but some days, I run ragged and I’m fine, and some I’m just tired all day and then it gets bad. Yesterday was one of those, unfortunately.

So I really wanted to be done cutting out all the pieces to the giant-ass quilt on Thursday night, and that didn’t happen. And yesterday, I knew I would have to go to school to interview because we are short a history teacher (again), and I had the muslin all washed. So it was a matter of laying everything out in my head and designing a new process, because all this IS new. I needed a 16-foot stretch of clean hard floor. Where do I have that? At school. Ahhh. Gotta be there anyway. It’s supposed to be air-conditioned (it wasn’t…that was part of my problem). I can do this.

I ironed in the morning…21 FEET, not yards.

Then I went to school. I was reading another teacher’s blog and she likes to take a picture before she starts setting up for the new year. Honestly, the last two years, I haven’t taken anything down because it’s too much of a pain in the ass, so everything is still up from last year.

My floors are delightfully clean, as are my counters. That will not last.

My AC doesn’t work. That is a problem. Especially since they apparently were in there a lot over the summer fixing it from June when it wasn’t working. When they’d cancel the work order and tell my office manager it was working, or when they’d say they’d fixed it and then the next day it wouldn’t come on. Some days…I’m not starting the new year with nonworking AC, people. Fix it for real this time.

I have a lot of stuff that was in cupboards just in case they used my room for summer school. I yelled and screamed about that, because of the chemicals and equipment we have stored in science…not safe to have other people in there. Plus my other teacher friends are finding that even though summer school is run by teachers in our district, they are shitty about respecting our rooms. Hate that. They take supplies and pull stuff down and leave the projector on for weeks at a time.

Anyway. So my room’s in pretty good shape, once I find everything I put away to keep it safe.

So on to the fabric…I measured 16 feet on the floor (the stretch between beams). Boychild and I figured the human needed to be longer than that, though, because it would need to drape down. Rather than do really complicated calculus, I set up two chairs 16 feet apart and draped the damn muslin…

Until I thought the drape looked right.

Then I cut it to that length (17′, in case you’re wondering), and taped it to the floor, stretched out. Then I started drawing the outline on there…this is the head…

And the legs are down here…

I thought I would want a little more width for the arms (yes, I could have bought wider muslin, but it would have been more expensive…so I made do).

I forgot to bring pins, so the fabric is taped together. I’ll sew it maybe today?

Then I cut about an inch around the outline…

I still need to cut the hole in the middle (actually might just draw it and leave it uncut until later) and cut the arms apart from the body. The arms will hang down towards the ground. That means I will have to cover both sides of them. I don’t know how I’ll do that yet. A lot of this, I process it in my head and let my brain…well…I let it brainstorm solutions until I’m ready to try for real. I have a square of fabric at home ready to practice string piecing. I think I need to transfer the outline to both sides in pen too, just to be safe.

Something about being in my non-air-conditioned classroom and crawling all over the floor (and maybe because I didn’t eat lunch, just a late breakfast) kicked my physical butt. I had the shakes. I did not feel well at all. I went home and took a short nap. Then I seemed to recover. It happened Tuesday too. Or was it Monday? I don’t know. I just know I have to rest more. Except I have too much to do.

After I cooked and ate dinner and did some other stuff, I started cutting pieces out again…and finally fucking finished…

It took over 25 hours. My hand is glad it’s done. I was going to quit then, but I wasn’t tired really, so I decided to get the sorting over with…

It’s funny how small almost 1900 pieces looks when in the bin, all cut up. I laid out 19 bins and started sorting…

And I was done 2 1/2 hours later. I almost quit about 5 times, but then I just wanted it done. I do so much better when I wake up to a fresh part of a project. Yes, I stayed up way too late. But I haven’t been falling asleep easily, and even after staying up so late, I still couldn’t fall asleep. And no, the furry beasts did not let me sleep in. Hence the headache.

But now I’m ready to start sewing and ironing two different projects, so that’s good, because I have one week before school officially starts for me and two weeks before I’m flying the girlchild to Boston after putting the boychild on a plane to Ithaca. Let chaos ensue. There are two giant boxes ready to ship to Boston on Monday, to be in her room on the day she moves in. Holy crap. For real. I’m sending her to college. I think that’s been the falling-to-sleep issue this week. Realizing that they will both be gone for months. That’s hard.

In other art news, Part-Time Oasis will be in the SAQA Oasis show at QuiltFest Oasis Palm Springs October 8-10, and then will travel to PIQF in Santa Clara in mid-October. I hope the Mancusos are ready for me again…although this is California, not Virginia, so we should be OK.

I’m just glad it got in…

Not Tidy Nor Magical

So I spent a short amount of time reading that popular Japanese book of tidying over the last couple of days, and after I almost gave up about two pages in, I settled in to just inhabiting her crazy and laughing my ass off. First, of course, I thanked my bra for being so uncomfortable and yet supporting my mammary glands so spectacularly. I then thanked my dishwasher for probably needing to be fixed again, and my daughter (via text, because she’s not here) for making a disaster area of my smaller living room, because without her actions, I would not appreciate the tidy that will ensue once her ass is in Massachusetts.

Seriously. If you are a minimalist, you might like this book…

If you’re normal like me, read it for the amusement factor. It’s short.

It’s true. I need to tidy. I really do. I just need everyone else to leave so I can do that. And stop sending me paper in the mail too, assholes. Don’t want it. And I don’t want receipts and bags and all that shit. It’s hard, because as a teacher, we were talking about flipping everything online, but it’s true that I am less likely to feel pressure to grade stuff if it is all hidden in folders online than if I have a pile of paper in front of me. That said, I’m going for it. I may hate myself halfway through the year, but without change, there is no progress.

I can’t possibly tidy, though, until all this crap is boxed up, and honestly, I’m not the one going to college and I don’t feel like doing this…

Aug 5 15 002 small

On the other hand, I want all this out of here and I want her to leave and go to college. God dammit. I hate these mental dilemmas.

I mean. I love her. I do. But…oh, no, she does not get to take the level with her. That’s mine. Somewhere under all of that are a couple of frames I was trying to get finished. But I can’t find my drill. I had one. It’s disappeared.

So yesterday…yesterday was a lot of work and poking and prodding (ah, the annual boob-squeeze of pain). But I finally managed to get some cutting done…

I only did about an hour and 20 minutes last night. There wasn’t much time at the end of the day.

Today, I had chiropractor (hallelujah, she felt my neck and it felt like hell…now it’s awesome)…and then settled down to cut…

Still to cut on the left, trash in the middle, and happily trimmed (and thanked) pieces on the right. It was about three hours today…so far. But I have an art meeting for 2 or 3 hours tonight that will mess with my free time. I’m 11 1/2 hours in. Probably that’s halfway. The problem with cutting is that my hands start to hurt. They cramp. They swell. So it was probably good that I started cutting last week in between ironing. It gives my hands a rest.

Certainly, if I have to pick up every item in my house and determine if I get a spark of joy from it, then I will never get any art done. I really do think that the people with clean houses are not the ones who are single moms of teens who are incredibly useless (apparently) and make art and have a job that is a total timesuck. And I don’t just craft on a Sunday afternoon…I make art almost every single day, and this quilt is probably 130 hours of work. That means instead of caressing each piece of junk mail that comes in the house and thanking it for filling my mailbox, I make art. Instead of praying with the vacuum cleaner about the cat and dog hair it is about to pick up, I make art. Instead of thanking my digestive system for making feces so my toilet paper has a purpose, I make art.

My real problem is time. Always has been. And with that, I’m off to a meeting that will take up time about making more art, some more experimental stuff with collaborators and stuff. Stretching, changing it up. Not tidying. Not thanking the driveway for supporting the car. I will thank the fan for moving the 90+-degree air around. That’s legit.

I Can’t Stand It…

Oh Holy Hallelujah, the ironing is done. Last night. When I thought I could stand no longer. When I was too tired to move. I ironed. Dammit, I wasn’t ironing for another day. I was a gonna be done. I finished at 11:46 PM. Here’s part of the pile before I organized it…

I really like the color-organized bins at the very end, when I count the fabrics…

Because that’s 151 different fabrics used. It took 23 hours and 49 minutes to pick fabrics for about 1875 pieces. That’s it. No biggie (cough). Earth Stories took longer (had more pieces). Last year’s biggie took 22 1/2 hours to pick fabrics. Makes sense. This one is about 100 more pieces. Which means I only have about 80 more hours to put into it (oh dear. I’m not sure it helps to know that number). It’s OK. I have no life. And in 3 weeks, the timesuckers leave for college. Ignore the job, right? And the other art project? It will be fine.

Here’s the pile that still needs to be cut out…

It’s not insignificant. You know, I was at school today and it all felt…well…rather overwhelming. As does my house at the moment, being full of half-finished projects and things that need to be shipped to college or driven to school. I’m a little wacko at the moment. Can’t handle it. And no, there is no easy way to migrate 39 website links from our old school website to the new one. And no, you will not have an email sign-up button for parents to click. And no, you don’t really need a history teacher on your team. It will all be OK (calming voice). Breathe in. Breathe out. Remember that all they will remember of what you teach is sex ed, and even that, they will only remember what they want to remember. So no, the pregnancies and STDs are NOT your fault.

Boychild has been doing wood projects for me. He now knows how to sand, stain, and varnish.

Hopefully someone with a drill (because mine has disappeared) will help teach him how to hang shelves.

I joked I was going to clean one square foot of the house a day after the kids left…which would be fine if everything was on the floor. So really, it’s a foot cubed and that space is much larger than I’d like to consider. Ignore garage. I’ll tell you later about the book I’m reading, which alternately makes me want to purge my entire closet (like really. All of it) or break out laughing because it’s so hilarious (and no, it wasn’t supposed to be…I think).

I am so tired. It was a long day. And it’s not over. But I gots shit to do. So more tomorrow maybe. But expect me to be cutting shit out for days. And cleaning. Because I really can’t stand it.

Art. Think Art.

So. Yeah. Didn’t get much done yesterday. After cooking dinner for the whole family, I came home and girlchild had a meltdown about going to school (she doesn’t want to go any more.), then I had almost zero energy for anything. I sat a lot. I didn’t even cut stuff out while sitting. Yesterday was a fail on the art completion game. Today may be more of the same. Stupid teeth needing to be cleaned by that woman who will never shut up. Ugh. And then hours of shopping with girlchild to get stuff for school (where she doesn’t want to go). She really is different than the boychild…has a list of stuff packed to ship, a list of stuff she needs, and a list of stuff to put in suitcases. Plus a list of stuff to get when she arrives. It’s all silly stuff like nail scissors. She just uses mine. She can’t take mine though, so she needs her own pair. Her roommates are texting back and forth about buying a mirror (they are all traveling to school). So yeah. I understand why she’s freaked out, and I expected it…but when she says she doesn’t want to leave but she does want to be independent. Oh sigh. Yeah. I know baby girl. I know.

I really really really want to be done with the ironing. The pile in the box still needs to be cut out…

The empty boxes are covering the loose pieces so a cat doesn’t sit on them, although the two I have now are not really bad about that. Midnight sits on the other table and Kitten sits on the chair.

I did cut out a lot of grays last night…in fact, most of this piece is grays, city grays, road grays, sidewalk grays, smokestack grays. Gray.

Here’s a different view of some of the fabrics…I didn’t clean up last night after ironing…

I think I only ironed for about an hour and a half. I didn’t even start until almost 11. I think I did some earlier in the day, but not much (I did). I’m 21 hours in. Based on my estimates, I could finish in a couple of hours. I do actually think that’s true.

I cut out nothing yesterday…

Here’s what’s cut out so far…

That’s 7 1/2 hours’ worth of cutting. No seriously. It is. Sad but true.

School is starting soon. It always feels like it’s looming over me this time of year, even though officially I have Two Full Weeks (that’s nothing…it really is nothing). It’s because the team communication starts (OK, this summer, it never stopped) and we start meeting and doing professional development. Plus we start worrying about lessons and syllabi and all that crap. PAPER! Or how to get it all online instead. Tomorrow, I will be migrating my old school website to my new one. I think. Or they will do that and I will fix what they fucked up? It’s hard to say. Plus there’s an issue with everything being on Google…I hate that I have to sign out of one Google account completely to sign into another one. Why can’t I keep my home Google account and my school Google account open at the same time on one computer? I think that’s idiotic. I should be able to have two tabs open to do that, and not have to keep two browsers open (which is what I do at school when I need to be on two systems at once). Because my school is NOW (after one year? Two? on Outlook?) switching over completely to Google, which is fine, but then they kept the old school email but used the Google password (we had a different Google email last year). SIGH. Much confusion to all my saved passwords etc. on all four devices. Five. (One I don’t use that’s in a locked cabinet at school. OK. Sometimes I use it at school when I’m desperate.)

Art. Think art. School can wait (until tomorrow at 8 AM when I have to be at a training).

Back to (Semi) Normal

So yesterday was mostly normal. I finally ironed and cut stuff out the way I should have been all week, interrupted by many sessions of Kitten petting and loving. She’s not a lap cat or a cat that likes to be held much, but she did follow me all over the house, even asking to be on my chair with me (which yes, means I perch on the edge while she takes up the rest). She disappeared at about 7 AM this morning when I was letting the Incredible Peeing Dog back in, but girlchild found her (yes, I panicked. Even though every window was closed). She was in the hanging sweater container I use for smaller older quilts. It’s in the closet…perfect size for a small cat.

I’m so glad she’s back. It’s amazing how much emotion we have tied up in these little creatures who are only around for 10-20 years (or in Babygirl’s case, only 2 1/2). Kitten’s 6th birthday is next Friday. She’s supposed to be with me for the next 7-10 years. I hope she knows that.

Yes, I am a crazy old cat lady. But as everyone starts warning me about empty nest syndrome and I start thinking about how to fill all that time with some social stuff, so I don’t go hermit crazy (I’m an introvert, yes, but I still need human interaction beyond my 175 12-year-old students), I realize that I do come home and talk to the animals and they help when I’m sitting there on the couch, cutting out a trillion tiny pieces of fabric. It’s the difference between alone and not.

I picked fabrics for a little over 4 hours yesterday…including these feather shafts that I wanted to shade from one color to another…

I finished the larger of the two figures and the bird above her. I’m ready to start the smaller figure. I wanted to be done with ironing today, but I’ve gotten through about piece 1120, so there are at least 700 to go. I don’t have 7 hours today, so probably tomorrow. I have 16 hours in so far…and I guessed about 21. Think it will be closer to 23. Maybe not. There are more Things That Are Alike in the second figure. The first figure had all these tiny animals and plants that needed to be picked out separately. That shit takes time…and sometimes research. What color are a bee’s legs anyway? You’d be surprised.

I was tired yesterday. Didn’t sleep well enough the night before, plus I’m still recovering, and Thursday’s drive all over San Diego County plus tons of walking and stress basically kicked my ass. I took a nap yesterday and when I was too tired to stand, I would go sit on the couch and cut pieces out.

I did about 2 1/2 hours of cutting stuff out yesterday…

The cut-out pile is on the left…after 6 hours total, it still looks awfully small. The bin on the right is the stuff that still needs to be cut out. You’ll notice that swirly flesh color has been in there for like the last three posts, mostly because I never get DOWN that far. So I’m ironing faster than I’m cutting. That’s OK. I’ll get to the flesh eventually, probably early next week.

August 5 is looming as a deadline (for something?!) because I know I’ll probably be starting work on a new major project with a September 12 (well, that’s the opening, so earlier) deadline, and that whole school-starting thang is popping up as well, and then there’s the two kids I need to get to college. One needs jeans and the other needs Everything in the World. Or is that just what is piled up in my living room? Hard to say.

I have made zero attempts to clean up the house this summer. There is no point until they both leave. Actually, the boychild does clean up after himself.

Here’s all the fabrics I’ve used so far…

As I’m going through, I do try to pull from what’s already there to tie everything together, so although now I’m working on the city girl, some of those reds and whites and grays and yellows will show up in her as well. I will need more gray though. And I haven’t made a flesh decision yet, but will be doing that probably in the next 20 minutes or so, because the next stuff I pick is her feet.

So there we are. The panicked end-of-summer creativity surge of an artist who teaches science to pay the bills. I’ve mostly ignored school all summer (that is such a load of crap…there have been at least 200 texts about school and a host of emails, plus I did a bit of Google Classroom), and that will have to stop. Damn job. Why are you messing with my ART??? Yeah, OK. Whatever. Seriously though. It’s August 1, and this is the first day I allow myself to consider school schedules and lesson plans and copies to the print shop. My team lost its history teacher (again!), so the three that are left are meeting Tuesday after my first professional development of the year. Next week is an appointment clusterfuck. All the teeth-cleaning, boob-squeezing, meaningless followup with an OB/GYN I’ve never met because I had the procedure done and my insurance has their crazy followup needs (I’ve already seen my primary care doc…so this really is pointless)…all of that is this coming week. I seriously have no day without at least one appointment on it, most with two or more.

Remind me to take up meditation again. Right now, I’m doing the best kind of meditation…fabric picking. Makes me smile.

Wading in Wonder Under

I have 12 hours and 12 minutes into the tracing. I’m at piece 1138, which is the hair of the larger figure. All I have left to do of her is the hair and all the crazy stuff hiding in her hair. Then I can move on to the smaller figure.

Turns out there’s actually 1852 pieces (not 1825…not dyslexic) and I missed some, as always, so there are actually MORE than that. Whatever.

I washed the batting yesterday, left it in the bathtub. The kids said something this morning about not being able to take showers. Turns out I totally forgot it was in there. They thought about telling me, decided I must be doing it on purpose (Ha! My momhood is complete! Even my crazy makes sense to them!). When I explained to them this morning that this was Menopause Brain, similar to Pregnancy Brain but possibly permanent, girlchild yelled down the hallway, “Don’t blame your stupidity on your hormones!”

And there we are. The wonder that is my household.

Seriously, I traced for about 5 1/2 hours yesterday in the long run, AND made a new dinner recipe, AND left the batting in the bathtub overnight. Which reminds me…need to go drain that fucker.

Kitten harassed me all 5+ hours by sitting ON the drawing and ON the Wonder Under…

Calli was almost underfoot, but not quite…(see how big the drawing is…)

And then Kitten stared at me balefully from the couch, where she slept because Mommy wouldn’t let her on the light table.

Meanest mommy ever. But I got a lot done…

Sometimes I want to just quit, but it’s easier to stop at the end of some section, and I crazily started the bird with 100 pieces in it at about midnight…so you know how that went.

Up too late, yet again. Thing is, I had to be up early this morning, because I’m not allowed to eat or drink anything after 9 AM. I can’t understand the logic of telling a diabetic NOT to eat, and then having her drive all over San Diego County for an MRI and a totally different place for the doctor. Hopefully I’ll have time to eat in between. I will totally be drinking an entire bottle of water, because I’m already dehydrated, and I drank two full bottles of water last night and this morning. Let’s hope they don’t need to take any blood, because they won’t get into my veins.

It’s OK…the uterus is just full of things that are benign but annoying and causing problems. I gave it permission to STOP being annoying, you know, like you give dying people permission to just Let Go? But my uterus is more stubborn than that. It’s convinced releasing eggs is what it should be doing right now, whether I like it or not. Hence stupid doctors’ appointments and procedures and tests and annoyances.

Anyway. So there will be lots of driving and dehydration and doctor’s waiting rooms today. Not fun. I’m going to trace some more before I go, though, and then pray for caffeine. I am more than halfway through the tracing…which is interesting, because we are officially halfway through summer break too, I think…although I personally start thinking of school officially on August 1, and this summer has been filled with school batting at my brain consistently, via email and text and signing up for classes, because everything is changing again. This will be the fourth website I’ve had to do for school, wait, no, I did a Google Sites one too, so that’s five. I’m not sure what was wrong with the last one, but now we get to learn a new one. Whatever. I’m sure it will be the most awesomest EVER, but if Google Classroom let us do a few more things, then I wouldn’t NEED another one. Wait. Google Classroom is number 5, so this is 6. Bloody hell. If I didn’t have to keep redoing things every time someone changed their minds about what was the coolest (and the cheapest), I might get more of my summer.

Rant over. Tracing will begin.

No Patches of Weird Sunburn…

What am I going to do today? I’m not going to lesson plan. I’m not going to update my school webpage. I’m not going to desperately run over to school to prep a lab for tomorrow or to check supplies, and then run around to a bunch of stores to find materials and pay for them with my own money. I’m not going to spend two hours grading papers or inputting grades online. I’m not going to check parent or admin emails and try to figure out who can play what sport or how to manage that many meetings in one day AND have time to call student parents (my goal for next year…more phone calls, fewer useless meetings). Sundays are never days of rest for teachers. We run errands for the week, prepare for the week, often don’t sleep Sunday night because we’re worried about the week.

I don’t have to do any of that today. I still need to grocery shop. Still need to manage some stuff, bill paying, schedule for the week (which includes at least one hike, maybe two, plus some trips to the gym). Yeah, the car has to go in (again), I have a couple of doctor’s appointments, and I have to prepare a powerpoint for an art group I’m in, plus organize some long-ignored posts to the Facebook page for at least one of those groups. I can do all of that.

I did manage to get off my butt yesterday and go to the quilt store for bindings. I found two that I’m debating, although this afternoon, I am leaning towards the green.

This camera…those are all much darker than they are here. The two pieces on the left are vying for the position of background of the next quilt, which I will be starting soon. Hopefully I’ll get the binding machine-sewn on tonight, and then I can do hand-sewing whenever, and start tracing the next one…because it needs to be done in…four weeks, max. I can do that. Maybe. I certainly don’t have school in the way.

Yesterday afternoon and into the night, I was at a music festival, the Dirty Parts Festival put on by a radio station I don’t usually listen to, but that plays a lot of music that’s similar. So I knew three of the bands and a song of one of the other bands. It was nice to listen to music all day, and to people watch, because I do a lot of that…it was hot out there, so a fan made sense, and she wasn’t the only one who had one…

Although the lace kinda confused me for a moment, because we were on rodeo grounds and it just seemed incongruous.

There were lots of tattoos, and I would have taken many more pictures of those if it didn’t seem difficult to do so without people noticing that I wasn’t taking pictures of the BANDS, but of them…

This is Panic Is Perfect, which I’d never heard of, but they had some suitably hyper guys jumping around and making music.

Then In the Valley Below, which had some nice duets, belting it out. I was impressed by the female’s apparent lack of sweat.

Plus she used a bunch of chains as a musical instrument. Can’t argue with that.

On the right is Steve West, who has been a local radio DJ for a million years (since 1983)…I think he’s beaten cancer and is about a million years old, but did Resurrection Sunday, a radio show, for years, music from my childhood. Apparently, he does the same sort of thing on his current radio station. But yes, I took a photo of him because it made me smile to see him still standing…

This is Waters, a fun and bouncy band of young musicians who say they’re from San Francisco, but largely hail from Norway, hence the Eurowear.

So I stared at this tattoo for a long time. Was Brittany born on 2-4-91? Was Brittany the woman sitting next to him, with her own set of newer tattoos that I never got a clear photo of? Was Brittany dead? I will never know.

These guys were a little strange to have on a rodeo arena…Saint Motel…very big-bandy sound and kinda goofy.

And this lace vest…I was annoyed that the skull had no lower jaw…that’s probably why it looks so pissed off. Plus…lace.

So the guy on the left didn’t look 21 at all, but had the ID check bracelet. The dear young thing to the right? Stretch marks already on her lower back, plus the mom in me really wanted to either pull up the purple shirt to cover the bra because it looked so damn stupid, or to tell her to leave off the bra (which was a common refrain in my old-lady head all night…why all you people wear bras when you’re wearing such flimsy clothing? Your nips are covered. Who cares?). So yeah. And then he gave her half his beer. And his little brother was on the other side of her.

Proof that we’re old…all the really drunken kids with the ID check bracelets on? None of them looked 21.

Here’s the whole crowd for the Saint Motel set…two stages…and in the distance, a fire starting and getting put out within 90 minutes, no structures damaged. It is fire season here…way too hot and dry. We’ve had at least three in the area in the last 5 days.

We missed seeing the entire Big Data set for food (there’s something wrong if it takes 45 minutes to get food and 30 seconds to get beer)…but they sounded underwhelming. Then again, I only know one song. Lots of electronic though.

Then finally some of the music I came for…this is the Kongos…they are 4 brothers from South Africa and they had a lot of energy on stage, plus an accordion. I don’t know why there are 5 people on stage, but I’m gonna bet the really tall guy on the right is the Not-Kongos brother. Plus they brought a tiny rapping midget out for one song, which was fun…OK, he was probably my height…not really a midget.

The tattoo…wish I had a better picture, but the bra? Again…there are better ways to get that look (says fashion maven Nida…Not).

Kettle corn was very popular. Everyone had some but us. We had Wachos. No really. Nachos made with waffle fries. You can’t say no to that.

And New Politics, who were disappointing. Lots of tracks playing behind that no one was actually playing. Euro band…but they had lots of energy and noise and the crowd loved them. I could have done without the lights…they were just distracting.

Yes, I’m old, but lights shouldn’t annoy. They should add to the show.

Anyway, I had a good time. It was nice to go out and feel the weather change from really hot and sweaty to even coldish and people watch and listen to lots of music and move around to that. I didn’t even have a weird patch of sunburn where I forgot to put sunscreen, so such a success! No really.

It’s such a joy to feel all of work just slough off and plop onto the floor, a blob of gelatinous stress and overwork, just quivering there on the floor. This summer? Art, music, food, hikes, sleep, writing. Yes, I need to make money too. I’m not forgetting that. But I’m putting it mostly out of my head for a week. Really need a break people. I can breathe in deep right now and not feel work pressing up against my chest. That’s good. Need to hold on to that.

The First Official Blogpost of Summer 2015

This is the first official day of summer vacation. The first day when I don’t have to go to school or think about school (although people are still texting me about school) until August 1. At least, that’s what I always try to do…get it out of my head and don’t worry about it until August. And then in August, I’m usually desperately trying to finish some major quilt and I don’t want to go back but I have to (my first professional development is on August 11). It takes a while to get all that residual stress and have-to feeling out of your system (and it is quickly replaced with other have-to’s, let me tell you), but after a week or so, I’m usually doing much better.

I’m still seeing crazy in one art group though. I hesitate to call it an art group some days, since its focus is more on quilt than art, although there have been some positive changes in the last few years…maybe. We’ll see. I am concerned though that they are choosing to censor members or seemingly move out of the leadership positions those who don’t agree with the majority. I don’t think that’s healthy behavior for any group, although I’m seeing that happening at my day job as well. The message then is that if you disagree, there will be consequences. Any minor study of history will show that doesn’t work. I’m not in leadership in this art group…I don’t have any more volunteer hours in me. They got used up in the other two groups, which are much smaller and need all members participating in some way. But it makes me mistrust the current leadership, which is not a good thing. A good Executive Board will do its job and the membership will hear from them occasionally as they make the group better, as they check in with membership, as positive changes occur. There won’t be censorship and oustings. I didn’t pay much attention to what names were on the board until all this, and now I’m watching particularly closely and comparing it to the other large fiber group I’m in, where none of this happens. So a big sigh for all that.

I finally made it out of work yesterday at 11 AM (took longer than usual). Then I came home and cleaned the kitchen, because it was disgusting, and started throwing stuff away and recycling it. The last few months of school kick my butt (and everyone else’s) and what suffers is the house. There are piles everywhere and nothing is washed or put away. So I made a healthy start on all that and then took a nap! A NAP! I know. Exciting for us old people.

Then I started quilting…

It was 100 degrees here yesterday, so my motivation to get up and move was compromised. I also read a lot. Because I could. And then I quilted for a long time until I realized I would have to cook dinner, so I did that for a while. Talked to the boychild, because girlchild was at Grad Nite, and then forced him to apply for jobs by starting the applications myself. Last thing you want is your mom filling out your application, right? Well. Whatever. I understand his hesitance and some of it is laziness but a lot is social stuff that is an inherent part of his personality. So this shit is hard. And mom is hard too. I’ve spent the last 13 years doing behavioral training on him, and apparently I’m not done.

After all that torture, just as much for me as him…who decided personality assessments with 72 questions were the best way to hire people? I’d fail if I had to fill these out too. They’re just lame. If both statements are wrong, you have to pick the one that is LESS wrong. But they’re WRONG. Sigh. Anyway, if he didn’t set off all of their serial killer alarms, maybe he will be employed soon.

So after all that, then I finished quilting…but first I sewed the bottom to the top somehow…

Whoops. Late-night quilting in the heat. Not a good plan.

She’s got 12 hours of quilting in her. But she’s done. She just needs a binding…which really means I should get my ass off this chair and go buy some fabric for that, because no, I don’t have a piece big enough. I think. I might look first. But I don’t think I do.

Katie (my parents’ dog) showed up about 20 minutes ago and is now asleep on my floor…

She’s only here for a short visit. Then in a week, she comes for a longer one…we think. All the humans but me are still lolling about in bed (well, one came out when Ms. Barkypants arrived). It is Saturday morning, yes, but apparently if you nap on Friday, you can’t sleep in on Saturday morning. I think. I know I’m still tired and probably will be for another week, but at least vacation has started, and maybe if I stay away from the art group list, my blood pressure will come down and stay down.

On to the next quilt! Deadlines abound…