What’s Next?

So the first kid comes home today. Her room was relatively clean, but I didn’t wash her bedding after she left because I did that when she left in August and then her cat puked all over the clean stuff. So I waited this time, and sure enough, there was puke. Damn cat. So I just need to make her bed. So the cat can puke on it.

Boychild’s room is the one where I dumped all the stuff from my office. I spent about 3 hours dealing with it yesterday, and I’m down to a manageable pile. He comes home Wednesday, so I have a little more time.

So it seems I spent most of yesterday doing my favorite thing (cough)…cleaning. Seriously, there were many hours of it. Then I finally sat down and started sewing a binding on the most recent quilt, still unnamed. In fact, both of the last two, finished within hours of each other, are unnamed. Working on it.

This was the view last night…quilt on my lap, sewing binding. Simba right next to me (better than earlier when he was ON me and trying to bite the quilt. Um. No. Then Midnight sprawled further down on the couch.

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Here she is finished, a little over 34 hours to make her.

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Need official photos, but think I will wait until the next smaller one is done. Plus the embroidery on the orange one.

Here’s the next one hanging up. I could start quilting it today.

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Quilting is pretty brainless for me. Easy peasy. Don’t have to think or plan and really do anything but move the fabric around under the needle. Try not to hit the hand. This quilt top is so old, I don’t know how old it is. Might be 2006. Might predate the world. NO! I found it…May 12, 2006. It was on my old blog. Yes, I’ve been blogging since the dark ages. Why do you ask?

It’s my art journal in many ways. TEN years to finish a quilt. Yeah. Well. Shit happens.

Speaking of finishing, the section in the middle is all I have on this drawing before I can (deep breath) NUMBER it and determine exactly how crazy I am.

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And since it’s next on the list, I should do that this week too. I know in general what I want in there. I just don’t know what that looks like or how it will fit. That’s the issue. It’s OK. I’ll get there. And this one won’t take 10 years. The other quilt sat around because it really was just a mental experiment, something to do when my brain wouldn’t settle down on anything. It’s like a drawing, but freehand with fabric. This drawing has been sitting around in this state for a while now, since May 2. It has 9 hours of drawing in it…well, more than that, because the first bit was in a sketchbook. So probably 11 hours. For those who have seen this quilt…

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Wise Choice…for the Earth Stories exhibit…it was a 13-hour drawing. Anyway. Moving on. I have about 17 errands (again, must be a weekend during the school year) and grading to do, plus I’d better make the girlchild’s bed. After all that, I can decide what to work on next.

Pushed Out of Line

Some things about my life have changed drastically in the last 5 years, and some, not so much. I still love to draw when I’m out in the world, at a restaurant, in a bar, whatever. The quilt I’m about to finish was drawn on a plane. The big ones don’t usually start in a restaurant or somewhere like that…they start on the couch, TV on, legs up, surrounded by furry beasts. I like the ones that are small enough to go in the larger sketchbook. This huge one that has occupied the light table for weeks now is overwhelming. Exciting, but overwhelming.

So last night, I was watching a band and I had eaten my food and was watching really bad dancing by old people (OK, some of them are my age, but they are old dancers…). So drawing seemed the logical thing to do. I started one but it was awful. And then I did this…

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She has mountains in her hair. And that’s a mighty cool plane there. And trees on her boobs. Someone said that the people sitting around me must be scared. Mostly they ignore me. Sometimes they stare and then get embarrassed if I catch them. Occasionally they tell me how cool it is. But whatever. That’s not why I do it. I do it because I’m out listening to music and hanging out and it’s relaxing. So a Friday night after a hard week and a particularly difficult day…makes sense to get the pen and paper out. If I’d stayed home, I would have graded stuff, and really, the drawing was a better option.

When I got home, it wasn’t quite bed time, so I pulled this one out. The binding was done, but I needed to sew the sleeves down…

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So this drawing was done somewhere between 2010-12 in my smallest sketchbook, probably at a soccer game or in a restaurant, waiting for dinner. I enlarged a bunch of them back in 2013 because I wanted to make some smaller quilts, both because they’re faster and because I needed some for shows that don’t want big work. I’ve been working my way through the smaller ones, but I cut out three at the same time…this one, Nakedman, and (shit, what was the third one…). Funny, I know there were three. Nakedman was finished in February 2013. Eyeball Tree might have been the third one, finished in June 2012…which would mean I enlarged them in 2012. Believable. I have a blog. I bet I could check that.

Found it! June 2012…there were originally FOUR of them, Eyeball Tree (2012) and Feeding Time (2011…uh oh, revise the timeline again) were done and so I moved on to the second two, finishing Nakedman in 2013. So the drawings are probably from 2010. And in 2011, I copied stuff (sheesh…), and then I made one in 2011, one in 2012, one is 2013, and now one finally finished in 2016. Seriously, it had been hanging around in the studio, ironed onto the background, for three years apparently. So I stitched it down, quilted it, and bound it…and it’s finally done. I don’t know what I think about it, and it doesn’t have a real name yet, AND it needs embroidery (those are salt and pepper shakers). So I guess it’s not QUITE done. Close though.

Sometimes quilts get pushed out of the line and then I never finish them, or it’s years later. This is one of those. There’s another one ready to quilt that I don’t even think exists in my task managing app. This last one was in there, minus the first two parts. So I could guess the timeline. But the other one must be much older. It’s before I was drawing patterns. I guess the good news for them is that I eventually get around to finishing them, even when they get pushed out of line.

Anyway, so that was last night. Today I have a ton of cleaning to do because both kids are coming home in the next few days. Plus the house is just a mess. And grading. And some other time-consuming stuff. Hopefully I’ll get some art time in as well, because it makes me feel better. Less stressed. Happier. All good.

Damn Adulting

I forgot to take photos of the other quilt I worked on last night…oh well. I went to quilt class and sewed a binding on that crazy orange quilt. I still need to sew the sleeves on, so another hour or so. It’s an older quilt top. I just wanted it finished. Then I came home and wanted to finish the one I’ve been working on. I almost finished it the other night, until that pesky adult voice that thinks I need to sleep spoke up. Damn adulting.

So I worked on quilting it…

And finished. I really only had about 45 minutes left. It took about 4 1/2 hours to quilt the whole thing. Not bad. (I did not grade any papers last night…bad Kathy)

It wasn’t bedtime yet, so I found a binding (easier to do from your stash when you are working with a smaller quilt) and used the fabric from the backing to cut two sleeves.

I originally bought that fabric when I was still married. Back in the dark ages. I was going to make a dress out of it and some other fabrics. Not sure where the others went. Never happened, of course. YES, I used to sew my own clothes. Can’t be bothered anymore. Plus I mostly just wear black. I still have lots of that fabric left, that’s for sure.

Oh, I forgot about this. I’m working with one of my art groups on a Sexism in the Art World show that will open in 2017, and we were talking about making a coloring book. One person had suggested a topic that was eh, yawn, no thanks (there was a reason for it, but still. eh.), and this coloring book came up…

Midnight is shocked that it was only $10 online. I was not shocked and purchased it for my weird book collection, so when I die, my children and grandchildren will have plenty to talk about and to make them laugh their asses off instead of crying. Yup. I really care about my family. (Just as a side note, there are some very pretty drawings in there)

Simba has now sat on the foot pedal (I trained my cats out of that years ago) and tried to sit in my lap while I was quilting.

Really! I am a cat! You can let me on the chair! He’s still adjusting, as are we all. Wait until the rest of the family gets home.

Bindings on…

Small quilts go so FAST. I’m going to remember this when I’m working on the next beast, which will probably take 6 weeks of nonstop work.

You can barely see Midnight in the back…that’s where she sits most of the time.

No, that tupperware bin cannot be used for anything but cat butts. That is the fourth cat butt that has graced that box…maybe fifth. It’s funny how they claim space. Even now, I’ve got Simba on the floor in here, so Calli won’t come in. Simba comes in when Calli does, but then won’t lie down, like he is now. When Katie is here, it’s a whole ‘nother juggling for space. I regularly have three animals in here, one of the smallest rooms in the house.

Anyway, I’m not home tonight, so the quilt bindings will have to wait until Saturday or Sunday. And then I have to officially admit to being done with this quilt and move on to the big one. I don’t know if I’m ready for that, but my artmaking schedule for the summer tells me I have to be. On the one hand, I’m excited to be starting the big quilt, but I also know how LONG it will take, and that some parts will just feel endless. And I do have another quilt top that’s pinbasted, another old one. I might quilt that first, because I know it needs hand embroidery, and then I’d have that to work on if I didn’t feel like working on the big one (yes, one more reason to procrastinate about the big quilt). Sigh.

OK, but before I can move on to any of that, I have to go to work and pretend I adult well.

Stretching Past What We’ve Always Done

Hallelujah for the nice kid in Petco who helped me pick out and install a harness on the little beast yesterday. I wanted to try walking both of them in a nice wide-open area, but the leash was too short and the collar didn’t seem safe enough. Simba pinwheels around a bit on it. So a harness it was (never owned a dog small enough for a harness…so he had to show me how it worked). We only made it 1.56 miles…the big dog tricked me into a shorter path she knows (she walks with my ex and the kids too), plus Simba is a tiny baby really and if I’d gone further, I probably would have had to carry him for a while. So we’ll have to figure that out, because normally I do 3-mile hikes during the week. My SIL has a little dog and says 35 minutes…and that’s what we did I guess. Lots of leash tangling and bizarre walking behavior. The dog has sorta been trained, but not well or consistently.

But this cat…

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She’s still incredibly unsure and runs when she sees him, and so he thinks that’s a game and chases her. She’s whacked at him once, but missed his nose. Not sure if that will mellow out, but I hope so. The other cat has taken another furry addition to the house in stride and doesn’t care.

That’s where I was grading by the way. Pens are there to fill out the gradebook I keep on paper, but everything else is online. I did go through the worksheet and the website I assigned them and filled it out myself, just to see what answers I SHOULD get. Holy moley, sometimes I wonder how some of these kids will make it through life. They just make up random shit…this assignment was so easy, I filled out my worksheet in less than 7 minutes. Granted, I didn’t have to go find pictures or write full sentences, but they should have been able to handle it easily in the time I gave them. And many did.

Simba is still trying to figure it all out.

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I’m looking forward to the kids coming home next week to help out with this puppy thing…because it’s a bit tiring. The timing could have been better. He does go to bed and sleep all night, except at 3 AM when he hears an animal in the bushes and thinks he needs to protect all of us. Puppy growling.

I have blood testing this morning, so I’m fasting (no caffeine, no food) and that’s never a good start to the day…especially since we have testing, so I have no prep, no bathroom until 12:15…unless I call admin. Which I may have to do today, after 40 ounces of water, or whatever it is. And they’ll still complain about my veins. Whatever.

I wanted to finish quilting last night, but knew I’d have to be up extra early for the lab tests, so I stopped before midnight and went to bed (see, I CAN do that).

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I’m almost done, though…dammit! Oh well. I’ll finish tonight, except I really should grade something tonight. I’m trying to get caught up, which means an assignment a day. And I can’t get through much while we’re testing. We’ll see. I’d really much rather finish quilting and get a binding on this thing than grade papers. Shockingly.

I’m also starting to process (in my head) a collaborative project I’ll be working on over the summer for the women’s group I’m in. Honestly, these types of projects kind of terrify me, because I’m not used to working with other people…in art. I work with other people all the time at school, and sometimes I know I don’t know enough to do stuff well, but I just research the heck out of it. This thing, it’s a little weird and I’m not sure how it’s going to turn out, and I guess I’m really an introvert/loner, because the socializing that needs to happen to create the project is really freaking me out. Whoops. I’ll be fine. My art brain is just having a moment. It will get over it, as my co-art person says, when I have enough wine and brainstorming to get past it. More on that later, but it starts with a $5 nightstand. Stretching past what we’ve always done is usually a good thing.

But now, now I need to drive to the lab and let the bloodsuckers have at my poor tiny veins. Then I can eat. And more importantly, get caffeine.

Clearing the Mind

I have about 15 minutes before I have to get ready to leave…busy crazy day. When you’re a teacher, you can’t do a lot of the things normal people do on a work day. I don’t have a lunch hour where I can run errands. I don’t have a flexible start time. I can’t get an hour off in the morning to go get my blood tested or take my car in. I either take a half day or a whole day (which we never do, because it’s a rancid pain to deal with subs), so mostly you try to do stuff before or after school in some sort of crazy way before school starts or things close (yes, you, post office with your stupid hours).

Today is one of those days…I have a car issue, but the car guy is around the corner from a co-teacher, so I can catch a ride, but it makes the morning a little bit more chaotic. And the afternoon as well, honestly…

I love Mondays though, because 3 out of 4 weeks of the month, I get home relatively early and I walk the dog. We have a couple of local walks we do that are more nature than suburbia…this is going up a pretty steep slope, and Calli is being very good about the baby bunny at the top…

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OK. Really she’s trying to pull me up the slope, which is kinda useful, because it’s really steep. Anyway, it’s about 3 miles and at the end of it, I’m feeling much better, head is clear from work, and the dog is tired.

Unfortunately, it gets muddied again directly after, because I have a ton of grading to do, so I settled down to that for a while, then finally ate, and THEN I could start quilting again…I’d finished the torso the night before, so all that was left was the head for outlining.

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I had my trusty cat companion, who was going a bit bonkers at one point…

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Maybe she objected to what was on Netflix.

Amusingly, I thought I could finish the quilting last night, until I looked at the clock. Whoops.

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Well. Two and a half hours in. She’s outlined and I’ve started the background quilting, but no way was I gonna finish last night. I’m not that crazy. I do have to go to work today and deal with the car and maybe another dog and that’s a whole ‘nother long crazyass story.

And I still haven’t dealt with resizing photos at all. Too much work; not enough time. Especially right now…

Plenty on the Plate…

There was a lot of art this weekend. I haven’t even been able to process it really, there was so much of it. Four openings, and there was a fifth I meant to go to, but I was exhausted by then. Honestly, I think I need a whole day to sleep. Today would be nice, but apparently it’s a work day.

Here’s me with my two pieces at Feminism Now. I had to hold still for an interminable amount of time (apparently I can’t hold a smile that long)…

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But it gives you a good idea of the size differential between the two pieces. The smaller one will travel to Sweden next year and be in another show. It was a great opening, lots of amazing work. I’ll get through it when I have a chance and post a link to the official blogpost as soon as I can.

I did finally give the young woman some pupils, some holes in her eyes…

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And I also ironed and pinbasted her into a happy quilt sandwich…

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Ready for quilting. Then I thought about what I had coming up this week, and I do have quilt class, and I want to be efficient about what I get done at all times. Though my smart-ass answer whenever anyone asks me “How do you get so much work done” is that I don’t sleep (and this is somewhat true), the reality is that I am very practical and efficient as well. If I’m waiting for someone to show up and I have 20 minutes, I use it to iron something or cut something out. If I know I have somewhere I’ll be for two hours, and there’s a binding that could be sewn in that time, I wrangle it so that can happen. I don’t just sit at meetings…I’m almost always working. I even find it hard to sit in restaurants and wait for them to bring the food…it’s lost time.

Anyway. So I found binding fabric for that crazy orange quilt that I can’t explain…

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And I cut it and attached it so that Thursday I can sew it down.

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Then I started quilting the newest one. This is where the line comes in…the line that pops the drawing out…

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I love seeing the image become more clear as I sew the dark outline.

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I spent about an hour and did about half of the outlining. This part is so meditative, I find it hard to remember to look at the clock…let alone stand up once in a while and stretch…or go to bed. So she’s in progress. Maybe I’ll have her bound by Thursday too, although that might not be possible…I do have a ton of schoolwork to deal with as well. We’ll see.

Meanwhile, another hour into the disaster that was in my studio and is now in the boychild’s room. Two full trashbags have left and I’m now sorting through that red box. I’m still not entirely sure what to do with all the stuff…

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An ancient plastic needle safe (probably 1960s), full of needles. Can’t throw needles out. That’s crazy. Folding scissors. Ancient as well. Way too cool. A ton of crazy quilt fabric that I piled up by color, so I can easily pop it into the bins. Not even sure how long that’s been in the box, but the plastic bag it was in mostly fell apart when I picked it up. Obviously, there was an organizational gap in there somewhere. I have about 10 days to get it all figured out.

Meanwhile, tons of grading and teaching and all that good stuff. Plus I need to get the rest of that big drawing done. Plenty on the plate…there always is.

That’s What Tired Does…

When you’re already tired, the best thing in the world to do is have to get up even earlier to go to a meeting. Seriously. You should try it. The alarm goes off and you think, WTF. I know I don’t get up now. And then you remember. Oh yeah you do. Because you have to go to that meeting. Damn responsibilities. I did go to bed a little earlier last night because I knew this was happening, but I didn’t want to.

Because I finished ironing this down…

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And here’s what’s so funny about that background. I just realized it was the wrong one…but I like it. I had pulled one of the many dark blues I have lying around, just for this purpose, way back when I started picking fabrics (OK, not really WAY back, but a few weeks ago). This one was in the reject pile. But I didn’t remember that last night after a 2-hour union meeting and another 2-hour art meeting (both necessary and useful, but exhausting after a long day of persuading kids to write about bird beak adaptations). I just reached for the one that was at my eye level. The other one is on the floor. With the fabrics I used in this quilt. A perfectly logical place really, but not in my line of sight. I just saw it this morning.

That said, I think this looks good…it’s hard to see the swirly batik in the photo, but it works well.

But that’s what tired does…picks a different background.

So I wanted to start sewing as well last night, but it was a quarter to midnight and you already saw my note about sleep, wonderful sleep. So I went to bed. Ironing took a whopping 5 hours and 42 minutes. I really should do more of these small pieces, just to remember what easy looks like. Says the woman whose next quilt is crazy complicated. As usual.

Oh well. This is my life. I was reminded last night that I have to do a weird project this summer involving a nightstand. I say weird because I can’t quite get my head around it. I’ll have to figure it out sometime in the summer. They haven’t set a deadline yet, and I’m hoping it’s not until September or October, but who knows? We did a catalog with our most recent show. It changes the deadlines. In fact, the show I was helping to plan for 2017 will have a feminist coloring book, so if you’re one of the people who’s been trying to tell me I should make a coloring book, well there will be one of my pieces in it…I’ll let you know when that’s available…hopefully by November.

Which means having to draw something to size. Ah well. Opportunity knocks and then you are buried in work. Seriously, my summer is chock full of have-to’s already and it hasn’t even started yet.

So I’m hoping to have enough energy to stitch this down tonight. I don’t think it will take more than a couple of hours at the absolute most. And then I can sandwich and pinbaste…quilting next week? I still need to finish the other drawing as well. I have another meeting tonight and two openings tomorrow night, so hopefully I’ll find some free time and energy in all that. Maybe.

I Should Be Able to Pull That Off

Again with the sleep! Oh well…it’s often my own fault. I did choose to go to bed late. Well, the art brain decided it for me, didn’t it? Don’t have much control over her some days. At least I slept well for the few hours I slept. Today is going to be a long day, though, and not having enough sleep is not usually a good thing in those cases. Lots of tea…should help.

I’m still grading every night…trying to get caught up. Actually finished one of the major projects last night, so I’m feeling pretty good about that. But there are still 7 things on my to-grade list. That’s not so good. Oh well. I do what I can.

I wanted to be done with the ironing last night. I’ve spent a little over 5 hours so far.

I was talking about this yesterday…ironing the stuff on top separately so I could see where the pieces went…

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Then transferring that as a whole to the main section. It works pretty well, although the flesh color here is light enough that I can see OK through it…not great, just OK.

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This is where I should’ve stopped if I’d really wanted a decent night’s sleep…I think that was just before midnight.

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But so close! I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t go to bed with just that arm undone. So I kept going…

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Even though the last section was cactus with a million spikes…

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Yeah. I like it. And it’s not even on the dark background yet. Or stitched or quilted or anything. The outlining quilting will totally change her.

See now I’m at a point where it’s hard NOT to work on her every day. That’s a good thing. Although I already know I’m busy every night this week and Saturday I have a 4-hour training, so the odds of my getting anything significant done on her before Sunday is pretty low. Which sucks.

If I were smart (which sometimes I am), I’d get a binding on the other quilt I recently finished so I could hand sew it at one of the meetings I’m at. I took a quilt that needed finishing to a staff meeting once. Just to sew the binding on. I had a male principal (7 out of the 8 have been male) and he was livid, sure I wasn’t paying attention. I wonder how people in the education business don’t understand how people’s brains work. I pay better attention in afternoon meetings when I have handwork, because (1) it keeps me awake and (2) it entertains the part of my brain that is completely bored and wanting to act out. I had the same issue in my summer high-school government class, and he flipped out too because I was knitting. So I don’t sew things in school any more, even though I want to. I have a union meeting today and I often draw or grade while the meeting goes on. I still take notes and pay attention, but honestly, I’d be paying more attention if I were sewing.

No, I’m not teaching my students to sew. I think in their case, at least at their level, it wouldn’t help the attention span at all. Plus needles and scissors. I can’t even let them have rulers on a regular basis. Being more online has helped a bit with ruler dumbassery in the classroom…we just don’t use them as much. But I don’t stop the doodlers. I was a doodler. I still am.

Hopefully tonight I’ll get her ironed onto a background at least. That will be progress, and it’s not a huge step, so even though I’m probably not getting dinner until 9, and I’m about to fall back asleep now, I should be able to pull that off.

Should.

Learned That the Hard Way…

I didn’t make a conscious choice to stay up late last night. I walked both dogs when I got home from school. I fed myself. I did some work, which hopefully will turn into a job. I graded a big pile of science journals, the ones I meant to get done on Sunday but that got co-opted by a door issue. It was after 11 PM. But I know how my brain works. I knew I was already in a mood, that stress and work and life in general were dragging me down. Those are the days I really need to make some art, to spend some time drawing or ironing or whatever it is. Am I tired this morning? Well yeah, I am, and I can’t find the stuff I need for work (I think it’s AT work is why), and I know today is a lab day, so I will be exhausted by the end of it, but I also know how much worse I would have felt today if I didn’t make art. And honestly, even though it was late when I finally DID go to bed, I couldn’t fall asleep. Too much whirling around in my head. Or I don’t even know. I was wide awake. Truly annoying. Flip flop. Sheeit. I need to sleep. I hate that feeling. We all do. It’s even worse when you keep thinking about how late it is and how little sleep you’ll get even if you fall asleep Right NOW. And then you don’t.

Eventually I did, but then something woke me early in the morning too. It’s a 5-hour-sleep day. If that. I guess that’s better than some.

I ironed for a little over an hour…starting with the face…

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Faces are always fussy because there’s stuff that overlaps in a weird way around the nose and the hair, and you have to fuss with placement. Especially the eyes. I always iron the eyes separate and then place them on the face so I can move them around, make sure they’re level and not too close together or far apart.

Learned that the hard way.

That’s when I should have gone to bed. Naah. I sorted through the 200s and laid them out on the table. Then I found all the flesh pieces, which meant rummaging through the 300s as well. Ironed all of them down, separate from the head. It’s easier to do it separately and then iron the two larger pieces together at the end.

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Then I started on all the stuff that will cover the flesh…only got through the trees on her torso, but they look pretty good. It’s hard to iron this layer because I can only barely see it through the fabric and the teflon sheet. I will probably iron the vines, flowers, and cactus separately and then put them on top. Same with the lungs and the heart.

So there’s about 175 pieces left to do, probably another couple of hours, because they’re a bit fussy. And then I need to iron it down to the background. I might get to that this week…it depends on the job I bid on, whether I get it or not. Honestly, I need the work, need the money to get through the summer and its numerous college payments, but I’d also welcome NOT getting the job, so I can work on this. I know that doesn’t make much sense, but I try to do the Have-To’s first before I take time to make art. And if I tell her the work will be done by whenever, then I actually need to finish, right? I still need to finish the big drawing too…especially realizing how close to the end of the school year I am.

I’d tell you to wish me luck, but I’m not sure what I need most…the work? Or the art?

The artist for the day is Jason Humphrey, who works in ink and watercolor. Check out the original artwork tab and I bet you can find the stuff I like, especially the pieces with multiple layers of paper and complicated drawings…truly wonderful for long-term staring.

OK, off to Work 1, waiting to hear from Work 2, wanting to do Work 4 (art), but also realizing I need to do Work 3 (oh holey moley, I forgot about that).

I Swear It…

Well. Happy late Mother’s Day to all of you. I was quite glad to survive mine with only one trip to Home Depot and some strewing of tools all over the entryway floor. But at least I can open and close the front door now. I got almost nothing done yesterday besides the door, but whatever. I’ve been incredibly efficient this morning in the last 7 minutes, so that bodes well for the rest of the day. Maybe. I just realized what time it is. Fuck.

It’s OK. I will survive. I felt incredibly overwhelmed yesterday, even Saturday (hit 5 stops in 2 hours…no biggie) and last night could’ve used an assist or five.

So yeah, there was this…

That is a hole to the outdoors…it didn’t start out that way. I’d brought half the groceries up and then went to grab the handle to go back outside, and it pulled apart. It had been loose before, but not heinously so. In fact, I’ve tightened it before. My dad will tell you it’s because I’m hard on doors, but honestly, WTF, you should be able to pull on a door handle and not have it fall to pieces. I suspect it’s because it needs to be attached at the bottom too, but dad said no, it was a pain and unnecessary (I’m gonna do that bit sometime soon…OK, maybe summer). My dad will tell you all breakage and damage is because I’m hard on stuff, and maybe that’s true. But I’ve never had a handle pull apart like that and I’ve opened a lot of doors over and over and over again. So I think that’s bullshit.

After analyzing the pieces (because when the other side dropped, pieces flew…pieces that had previously been attached and now were not) and calling the ex, who gave his analysis of “I don’t know how the fuck this goes back together” and “You seem to be missing at least one piece” (goes digging around the pots and plants that are around the front door, like I haven’t already done that shit), and having the debate of Go Buy Another One (they ain’t cheap) or Call a Locksmith (they ain’t cheap either), I drove off to Home Depot and found the same damn thing and installed it in about 14 seconds flat.

And yes, the door needs painting and I should probably pick up all that crap on the floor, but I was sort of emotionally a disaster at that point. So there. I left it. Walked the fuck away.

Mother’s Day. Sigh. My ass. Girlchild posted a photo on Instagram which is kinda how we roll…

My students will tell you that’s how I take all photos with them. Like I know it’s gonna be a bad photo, so let’s OWN that bitch.

After making lunches for the whole week (stupid recipes that lie and say it will take 30 minutes to make this…in whose world? The one where someone’s helping you by chopping it all up? And why does yours look so colorful? Mine is decidedly brown. With brown overtones.) and dinner and reading while eating, I said Fuck You to my job and wandered into the studio for some me time.

Might as well iron this thing.

So I did…

It’s very meditative, this ironing stuff.

And it’s kinda cool that I’m doing this now, because I drew this on the flight home from dropping off the girlchild at college, and she’s done on Thursday, though I won’t see her for another 10 days because she’s gonna visit her cousins first. So I guess this ushers her home.

I stopped thinking about parents and students and the girlchild stressing out over finals and other shit and crap and doors and a house that needs more maintenance than I can handle.

I ironed the stuff in her hair separately…

Then plopped it on. It was almost midnight at that point (there’s math in the clouds by the way…I totally love that).

So I made the intelligent decision to go to bed instead of continuing to iron…even though I wanted to. Hopefully that will make me a less irritable person today, although it’s hard to say. There are 28 days of school left, and I’m feeling every single one. I have a ton of money-making work to do tonight (art CAN be money-making, but usually not), so I don’t know how much time I’ll get for ironing. But there will be some. I swear it. On the crap that is still strewn all over my entryway floor, I swear it.