I Know Those Lights Still Call You*

Well. Yesterday. Yeah. At some point I went into overload. I think that was around 11 AM yesterday. And it just kept coming! At some point, you just stop dealing and start ironing instead.

First of all, I’d like to thank Betsy…whoever she is. This was in my driveway.

img_1758-small

Her message is a little late but appreciated anyway. Whoever she is.

Boychild was stranded in Newark last night until tonight, and wasn’t sure what to do. So I sent him some options. I love trying to get this kid in and out of Ithaca. I should just buy him a car. It would be easier. Possibly cheaper.

The fun part is he’s not even flying into Ithaca tonight. He still has to get there from Syracuse. The options are limited. I can put him in another hotel or put him in a taxi. I don’t envy him these trips. Apparently grad school might be located closer to a major airport.

I emailed this to a few students. Apparently telling them to Google That Shit all the time is not something they can handle. So I did it for them.

img_1763-small

Seriously people. I did also explain it in class. But this is the kind of thing that frustrates me. And then I realize I’m becoming easily frustrated because I’m overwhelmed or emotional or all of the above. That was yesterday.

I don’t know what’s going on here. I just started stitching flowery leafy bits.

img_1765-small

So I gave up on all that shit, trying to get boychild home, figure out phone upgrades and phone plans, answer a multitude of emails, organize a photo shoot, figure out where to be on Saturday. And I ironed.

As far as Saturday is concerned, first of all, I used to be one of those people who stood in front of Planned Parenthood and escorted people in during the years of bombing places where women go to get health assistance. What is Saturday’s Women’s March about? Feminism? Solidarity? Reminding people that we have a voice and opinions and we’re allowed by law and morality and ethics and biology to have those? Reminding people there are a shitload of us? Standing with a bunch of women (and men and children) across the country, the world even, and having some hope for the next four years, despite the bassackwards slide I’ve seen toward women in the last ten years? Yeah. Fuck yeah. If you don’t agree, then stay home. If you agree but don’t want to march, that’s fine. I’ll do it for you. Or not. And if it looks like we’re protesting Trump’s existence and nominees, then so be it. I’m OK with that. I have the right to protest anything in this country that pisses me off and/or hurts other people. That’s why we live here…because this country gives us that right.

Pictures of hat to follow (was not that organized last night).

I started by ironing intestines. And Christmas lights. I don’t know if I can explain that, except to say that if I pull open my torso, I would hope there would be Christmas lights in there.

img_1766-small

I ironed all the innards.

img_1767-small

Then came the fun part. I pulled the rest of the torso off the teflon sheet and piled it up.

img_1769-small

And then made the innards fit in that hole…with the zipper.

img_1770-small

What’s miraculous is that it fit! No really. It’s always a crapshoot. Some quilts are better behaved than others. This one has been good so far.

Then I started the neck. I thought about starting the head, but it’s a lot of overlapping snaky hair and it was already after midnight.

img_1772-small

More delays. That whole day job thing is cramping my style. Tonight? The head, the cloud, and hopefully down to a background.

The dogs were quiet yesterday without all their entertaining friends. When I told Simba to go to bed, he got up, crawled onto Calli’s bed, and curled up next to her. I felt really really bad making him go in the crate, but he’s awful otherwise.

img_1777-small

He’s been much calmer since the kids have been home. He needs more people interaction. That makes me feel bad…especially since I’m going to be gone all Saturday. But I warned his other people, so hopefully they’ll come release him relatively early.

Today I go back to school, the home of those who think they are already done with yesterday’s assignment. Oh no, my chickadees. You will write a scientific claim with evidence and reasoning that includes more than made-up stuff that you thought was in the video. Because I will make you. Trust me. I am way more stubborn than you are.

*The Alarm, Spirit of ’76

Control Your Poison, Babe*

Up early. Two meetings before school even starts, then off to the district office for (cough cough useless) professional development, then BACK to school to teach the rest of the day. Meanwhile, boychild flies back to school. Damn. All the feels. Stress AND sad and all the other crap. Stress levels are way too high. Deep breathing before I deal with kids. Or parents. Or admin for that matter. Maybe should go back to bed. I was so busy ironing and trying to get to the next part last night that I forgot to go to bed early. It wouldn’t have worked anyway…I wasn’t physically tired enough to fall asleep. That part sucks.

The good part is at least it’s not raining yet. And I might get some work done at the PD this morning (we’ll see if that’s a thing). And I might finish ironing tonight. Maybe. A girl can dream.

I started on the hands…they’re pretty light in color, so it’s going to take stitching line and ink to make them stand out.

img_1754-small

But there’s one side, with the sperm gauntlet. You know, like you do.

img_1755-small

And then the other side, with its corresponding egg gauntlet. She’s the ultimate mom, I guess. Got all the parts. Or maybe those gauntlets are the ultimate birth control. I also ironed the skeleton in where it belonged on the left side.

img_1756-small

All this will show up much better on a dark background for sure. I will start on the innards tonight, and then there’s the head and the cloud above it and I’m done. Ha. I’m not going to be done tonight. I wanted to be, but I did two hours last night and only really got through the 1000s and a super tiny bit of the 1100s. I’m at 16 1/2 hours…I’m guessing 3-4 more. Then stitch down. I probably won’t get to that until Sunday night, if I’m lucky, and since we’ll be underwater (stormwatch!) by then, there will be no electricity. I do live on a hill though. Maybe there’s a chance I’ll survive.

One year of stitches…second word.

img_1753-small

I’m gonna decorate the shit outta those letters. Once I finish that goofy phrase. Originally (after a very bad day) I was going to add FUCK to the sampler, but then decided against it. Although it’s still in my head.

Calli wondering when she might be fed. She doesn’t tell time very well.

img_1750-small

Head down. Deep breaths. The drawing voice in my head is very loud.

*Lady Gaga, Just Dance

‘Cause She’s Gone, Gone, Gone, Gone, Gone…*

I didn’t start ironing until late…after 8 PM. But I still did almost 4 hours last night…they were almost 4 very slow hours, though…lots of small fussy pieces. I started with this crazy peach/hand tree…

img_1720-small

It’s hard to see the hands because the teflon sheet I’m ironing on is white…the background will be a darker blue, though, so it will be clear.

Puppies who will miss all the kids around…

img_1721-small

And then I started on the skeleton…more tiny fussy pieces. Again, this will be on a darker background…

img_1722-small

The skeleton took a good long time to put together. It also has about 150 pieces in it.

img_1723-small

I accidentally touched the side of the iron…more than once, actually. This is the worst of the burns.

img_1726-small

Whoops. You should see my scissors callous.

Now looking at this picture, I think the right side needs a scapula…just a little bit of it under her armpit. Damn. OK. I’ll figure that out later today. I have to go to school and feed a cat and do a bunch of other shit.

img_1727-small

Then I can add a scapula.

I didn’t do yesterday’s one stitch until this morning while I was waiting for the cheese to melt. It’s the stars at the bottom. I had to move the hoop again. I’m going to need to find my spring hoops. They’re in the house somewhere.

img_1730-small

Worst part about yesterday was taking girlchild to the airport. That is her luggage at the top of the stairs. I thought she was following me, but she went back inside to hug the dogs again.

img_1705-small

These guys. Who miss her too.

img_1719-small

Can’t think too much about the part where I’m living alone again. At least I’ll know where the scissors are. And who got that dish dirty. The rest of it just sucks.

*John Mayer, Dreaming with a Broken Heart

You Scream You Learn*

Oh holy heck this is a morning. Rained hard most of the night, disturbing my sleep. I know some people find that noise helps them sleep, that drip drip drip pounding away of water above my head. I wasn’t put on this Earth to sleep apparently. And we need the rain. Even though it seems our annual rainfall is all happening in one week. We haven’t hit our average annual rainfall yet, nowhere close. Not even as much as last year. But day after day of drippy wet feet and spotted glasses and damp clothes starts to wear on a Southern Californian. Or as every teacher recognizes, the squeaky tennis shoes on the linoleum floor…oh, well, only the science teachers at my school, because the other classes have carpet. So yeah. I will write a referral if you are purposely doing that screech with your shoe on my floor…you don’t deserve to stay here if you are that guy (it is always a guy. Seriously.).

Yeah, I’m tired. First week always kicks ass. And my co-teacher is still on her honeymoon, so that makes it harder…although I’ve apparently survived it. Hopefully she’ll come back. And then both kids are leaving in the next week. Which makes me sad, but some things will be good…fewer dishes. Holy crap, the dishes are kicking my butt…and yes, they help, well, mostly…but it’s still more work. And there’s some drama I could do without. Because I don’t get enough of that at school. Really. I had to have a real-life discussion with a relatively high-level student about why it’s not OK to copy other people’s words. Why it’s important to engage your own brain with the material. “Why do they put it on the internet if they don’t want people to copy it?” Not a bad question, but you have to wonder how she got to age 12 and doesn’t have a better idea of copyright. Because yes, I teach science…but I also teach behavior and grammar and spelling and copyright and politics and history and compromise and how to get along with other people without being dickheads all the time. This week has been a lot of the latter.

There’s a 3-day weekend ahead though. It’s not an ideal 3-day weekend for a variety of reasons. Emotional. Sure. And a little too busy. But doable.

And most importantly, I’m finally on to the next stage of the quilt…I finished cutting pretty damn quickly, only another 30 minutes. So that’s what 19 hours of cutting pieces out looks like…

img_1634-small

Not much, honestly.

I hold on to the trash until I know I have all the pieces, because if I’m going to lose a piece, it’s usually a tiny one, and sometimes I can cut it out of the trash pieces.

Then I sorted…it was not an easy thing to do after standing all day. I sort by 100s. It’s easier to deal with 100 pieces at a time rather than 1300.

img_1635-small

An hour and 38 minutes later (ugh)…there they all are…

img_1637-small

Ready to be ironed together into a quilt…probably will take about 20 hours for that. Although it took a lot longer to cut them out than I thought it would. So we’ll see. There’s a lot of little pieces, apparently.

I had both cats with me…

img_1652-small

Kitten is trying to simultaneously sleep and watch me. It didn’t work. She slept. When the dogs are gone, I do get both cats. With the dogs, Kitten is less likely to venture out, unfortunately. I try to give her safe spaces on the couch and the desk, so sometimes that works…

I did my year of stitches thing while on the phone with my SIL…outlining with stem stitch (which is a pain around curves) around that blob of flowery things.

img_1633-small

I haven’t been able to keep up the daily meditation…I often remember just as I’m about to fall asleep. Last night, I did remember, and I turned it on and fell asleep until the very end. That should tell me something, I guess. Hopefully my unconscious brain was doing a good job.

I need to go to school. I’d like some sun tomorrow. Or at least sometime this weekend. I’d like some peace and quiet. I’d like some conversation with my kids before they leave. I’d like to get some clean up dealt with. I’d like to get this quilt ironed together. I think that’s enough for one 3-day weekend.

*Alanis Morissette, You Learn

And We’ll All Float on OK*

You know, sometimes progress doesn’t look like anything. I have almost 16 hours into the cutting out of tiny little pieces, and there’s more to go, and I told you I couldn’t predict how many more, because as I go through the pile of pieces in there, I’m never really sure if the piece of fabric below the one I’m currently picking up will have three huge pieces on it (easy to cut, nice and quick) or be the one with all the finger bones (not easy, pain in the ass, gonna take me an entire episode of Supernatural, if I’m lucky).

I cut for over 3 hours again last night. I’m not bringing school work home at the moment. I will eventually. But not until I get these cut out. So if you look at yesterday’s pile of stuff left to cut out and today’s pile of stuff left to cut out, you might feel as discouraged as I did, because I was sure I was getting closer…

img_1612-small

Except at least two of those pieces of fabric on top are full of tiny fucking finger bones. Or rib bones. Or whatever that’s tiny and curvy and time-fucking-consuming. My hand hurt last night. It’s stiff this morning. Am I closer? Sure. Do I think I’ll finish tonight?

I don’t think I’ll EVER FINISH. OK. That’s silly. Of course I’ll finish. Some day. Probably not today. And it amuses me that this is what one of my quilts looks like at this stage…a pile of never-ending strangely shaped pieces.

Another day in 1 Year of Stitches…I finally Googled it and wrote it on a post-it note and attached it to the computer so I can remember the correct wording. Until the cat takes off with it.

img_1611-small

Yesterday was a curvy line of Palestrina knots, which used to scare the crap out of me, but are really very easy to do. Don’t get me wrong…I still stare at an instruction book while doing them.

You saw my cover page yesterday for the new unit. I do apparently occasionally inspire kids to do their own thing…here’s one of my student’s covers for the last unit (which I’m currently grading, because it’s the one assignment I blew off grading during break).

img_1609-small

That’s a lot of bubbles. Must be a chemical change.

If you’re on Instagram or Facebook with me, you’ve already seen this part of my Christmas gifts…a little late, but blame the post office. I do wear boots to school quite often, so I really can wear them to school…

img_1610-small

(I’m wearing a pair now…they’re kinda inspirational.)

Last night was chilly and the dogs were at the other house, so Kitten ventured out and sat right next to me on the couch. This is a strange thing. She does not do it often.

img_1616-small

So it’s sweet when she does.

*Modest Mouse, Float On

I Have the Technology

The first day back, trying to balance food and bathroom breaks and kids who have been free to do whatever they want for three weeks, and now I want them to sit and do work for a whole 45 minutes. Today it will be 51 minutes and we’ll see how they do. We jumped right into the new unit…but I have three new students today. Sigh.

I do love drawing a new cover page though…and then hiding it so the kids won’t copy it (they still try…”Can you put it up on the screen? I just need ideas.” Use your brain sweetheart. It has lots of ideas.).

img_1587-small

I have to actually research stuff for this unit. I’m a little shaky on energy resources, having never taught it or officially learned it in school. Plus it’s changed a bit since the 70s. So I’ve been reading up…watching videos. Hoping I understand what’s supposed to happen in the labs and, more importantly, why.

I came home relatively early (quick staff meeting, hallelujah) and started trying to straighten up…putting away all the wrapping paper and accoutrement, breaking down all the boxes that came in during the last few weeks, putting stuff away…then I found another rug. My grandfather used to (he’s dead now) crochet rugs out of mattress ticking. They last forever and are washable. Case in point, the one on the left has been in my kitchen forever…and my grandfather died while I was pregnant with my now 21-year-old son. The puppy decided to pull on bits and pieces, though, so now it is holey. I found the one on the right in the closet (don’t even know where it came from)…but I don’t like the color. I realize most of you probably think it works fine with the kitchen (and it does), but I thought about dying it…unfortunately, it’s gotta be mostly polyester, so I’d have to buy dyes I think.

img_1589-small

Like I have time to dye a rug.

Next day of 1 Year in Stitches…I think I change the name every time I post about it. Fly stitches and french knots added to the lazy daisies…are they called that when the anchor stitch is long? Who knows. I just pulled a thread out of the basket and sewed with it until it ran out. That’s all I ever do.

img_1601-small

It needs more colors.

I cut for about a million hours yesterday…OK, for about 4 1/2 hours. I didn’t bring any schoolwork home. I just did some cleaning and then cut for a while and then made dinner and cut for an even longer while. My hand was sore last night, but not so much today. That’s good. This is about 12 1/2 hours of cutting total. As you can see, there’s still stuff in the to-be-cut pile…but I’m down to stove parts. I finished all the body parts.

img_1602-small

I wish I could say I knew how many hours are left, but I haven’t got a clue. At least 2 or 3, probably more. And today will be a long day, with tutorial after school. Tomorrow is the union meeting. I’ll be dead tired by the weekend. But hopefully done with cutting, then sorting, and on to ironing. I want to have the majority of the 3-day weekend for that. Progress. I’m feeling stressed about deadlines. Only one way to deal with that, and it’s to get some work done. I have to use time wisely, just like at school. I honestly think I’m more efficient about getting art done when I’m in session, because I don’t have a choice. It didn’t used to be that way, but it is now.

I also need to make a pussy hat this weekend…I’m not knitting. I know how, but it takes too much time that I don’t have, so fleece it is. I wanted to make a banner (or 7) like Stephanie Syjuco is showing on Instagram (@ssyjuco on IG), but I don’t really have time for that either. Patterns are here. You can find her on Facebook as well. She’s an artist and professor, but these banners are freakin’ awesome. Maybe I will bang one out this weekend. I certainly have the technology to do so.

I Dream of That Too…

That first day back to school after a break…ugh. I’m never ready. I even went to bed early, but the pup was barking at the wind (as far as I could tell) in the nether regions of the morning, so that wasn’t particularly helpful. I know I’m never prepared, I feel panicked, I didn’t finish everything. I didn’t even come close to finishing everything. Maybe I could have if I’d done less art…but that’s just crazy talk, right? Less art. Hmmmph. Not happening.

I did spend most of the weekend running errands and at a friend’s wedding, so not a lot of art happened. It’s OK. I knew it was coming. I did not make it to school beforehand. Oh well. I was a puppy sleeping pillow for a good long time last night…

img_1580-small

The girlchild is visiting her cousins in Seattle, so I’m second best…sometimes third best, depending on the boychild’s mood.

Once I got home from the wedding, I started trimming. I was pretty tired, though, so this is like the kind of stuff that will put you to sleep if you’re already halfway there…

img_1584-small

It looks like I have a lot done, because the big box is only half full right now, but most of that is body parts, and I haven’t even gotten down to the stove pieces. I have almost 8 hours of trimming in…I did a few hours on Saturday and a few on Sunday…

img_1585-small

And I need to move the already cut pieces back into the other big box. It’s more portable with two smaller boxes, since I was carrying this pile to hair appointments etc. But now, I am back to only cutting out stuff at home. Hopefully I’ll be done and sorted by the end of the week, so I can start ironing together over the weekend.

The wedding was nice, great weather, even a bit warm. The shoes did not survive though. I don’t have much in the way of shoes, so when my mom was going through her closet and cleaning out, both the girlchild and I took some…these made it through less than half of a wedding, unfortunately.

img_1577-small

In case you wanted to see how old shoes die. (They die on Kathy’s feet.)

I’m still doing the year in stitches…that’s Saturday…

img_1567-small

And Sunday…

img_1581-small

No plan. I just randomly stitch. It takes about 5 minutes max. Not bad.

OK, well I have to go to work. On a rainy day, so that’s like torture. Plus a ton of kids won’t show up because (a) they’re still stuck in Mexico due to border closures (protests about gas prices) or (b) because they might melt in the rain or (c) because the first day back doesn’t really matter, right? And it’s a staff meeting day. And my co-teacher is gone all week, because she’s on her honeymoon (which means I should be able to get all that grading done that I didn’t do over break on my prep periods, because I won’t be planning and I’m ultra-efficient…ha!). I am having a really hard time persuading my brain that it doesn’t belong to a full-time artist who works at home every day. It’s convinced that should be the case. Ah yes, brain. I dream of that too…

This Chapter’s Gonna Be a Close One*

Back to the post-it-note lists for the weekend. Today is a little crazy. Tomorrow too. Then a week of school. The last week of my kids being home. That part sucks. Although the amount of dishes and groceries has been a bit overwhelming. Plus three trips to the airport in less than a week.

Still debating going to school today. I think I will be fine if I get there on time on Monday…there’s not that much to do. Teachers have to set up boundaries…school intrudes on so much of our personal lives. I will be sending the parent email today…every weekend, I do that. I didn’t grade that last assignment. It’s OK. It will get done. And then there will be more. I meant to do it. I just lost momentum.

I did cut stuff out for about 4 hours yesterday…top left is trash, top right is cut-out pieces, bottom is stuff that still needs cutting (ie, most of the quilt). I’m hoping to do more of that today…maybe get to ironing by next weekend. That would be good.

img_1563-small

I cut for almost an hour at my daughter and my co-hair appointment. She sets up the girlchild’s hair color and then cuts mine and then cuts hers. So I sit there and trim stuff in between. Multi-tasking. I do a lot of that.

I got into a show in Camarillo with two pieces, which is good, and got rejected by another show, which is also good, because I need two of those pieces for my solo show. Seriously need new work for shows! But the solo show is kind of eating that up…which is not a bad thing. I need to draw. I keep saying that and not being able to find the time and mental space.

I think I meditated last night…maybe. I did do this…added the orange.

img_1554-small

It’s a double cast-on stitch. I had enough thread for two of them…but the eyeball asked for it.

img_1555-small

Honestly not sure I can stick with this every-day stuff. Although I blog almost every day. Routines. At some point, they do stick.

Puppy was stuck with me last night, because the girlchild is now in Seattle. She was home less than 24 hours.

img_1550-small

She went to see her cousins…so that’s good.

OK, so the to-do list is scaring me. Best thing to do is just bang it out. If I’m lucky, there’ll be some art involved as well…it’s my goal, anyway. Always my goal.

*Red Hot Chili Peppers, Can’t Stop

At Citibank We Will Meet Accidentally*

Back to school sort of this morning. Need to set up the classroom and do another training. Hopefully this one will actually have something I don’t already know. I’m never ready to go back. I always need more time. Such is the way of these breaks…we spend so much time grading or prepping anyway, or doing all the stuff we can’t get done when school’s in session. It’s hard to go back.

Anyway, the good news is that I finally finished ironing down all the fabrics for this quilt. It felt like it took forever…almost 25 hours when there’s only 1400 pieces? But then I figured out part of it yesterday…148 fabrics. That’s a lot…although looking at this, it’s a lot of grays and variations on white.

img_1528-small

The next stage requires a decent pair of scissors (always an issue for me…so many of them are very stiff, so they don’t work well) and a lot of time on the couch. Maybe 20 hours or so on the couch. OK.

Here’s the boxful of pieces…

img_1529-small

I wasn’t kidding about the full part.

img_1530-small

I should be working on that later tonight. Training, then hanging out with long-time friend. But the girlchild’s plane doesn’t come in ’til late tonight, so hopefully I’ll have some time to trim. When might I be done? Sometime next week. My three-day weekend just got full of ironing stuff down if I can get done trimming in time.

Yesterday during the day, the boychild and I did a ton of work…installed one rain barrel, although we still need some help attaching the gutter back to the wall…

img_1512-small

Noticed this problematic situation…don’t know when that happened.

img_1514-small

Took this wee beastie to the vet and then had to shampoo her with special stuff and sing songs to her for 10 minutes while it sunk in.

img_1520-small

Someone should redo my bathroom (ha! and the rest of the house…can’t keep up with any of it). We also did a ton of yardwork, pulling stuff down and out. Filled the two trashcans we had and left the rest in the driveway, pushed to the side, for next week. Spread all the extra leaves from the side of the house on the weeds in the front yard. Still one water barrel to install and a few more branches and volunteer trees to take out. I don’t know when that’s happening…after school (in the dark?) sometimes next week? Who knows.

So many things I’d like to get done over break that I didn’t get to. Organizing, cleaning, tossing. But my focus is on trying to get quilts done at this point…and survive work…and take care of the animals…and myself. Doing the best I can right now. It’s not great, but it’s what I can do.

*Cake, Short Skirt/Long Jacket

It’s Where My Demons Hide*

I keep thinking I’m going to get done with the ironing, but it’s taking a long time to get through the last of the fussy little pieces. So even though I ironed for almost 4 hours yesterday, I’m still about 100-150 pieces short of done. They need to be done today. Of course, today is full of other crap, as is the next day and the next day. Aargh. One assignment has still not been graded (oh well…it will get done eventually)…I need to find time to draw. I need to get this quilt to the next stage.

I couldn’t find piece 1103 for a while…turns out I thought it was piece 1193 instead and ironed it to the wrong reddish fabric. So I retraced it for the right fabric, and found 1193 and ironed it onto the red fabric. Silly stuff like that is why I’m almost 22 hours in to the ironing. That’s a lot for a 1400-piece quilt.

img_1483-small

I had a lasagne interlude and then some companionable TV watching…so I did my one stitch for the day, a whipped something or other. I should be better about documenting, but I can’t be I guess.

img_1484-small

Then back to the ironing with the cat. Hi Kitten…

img_1500-small

The fabric pile was getting seriously out of control…if it takes me 5 minutes to find the one yellow I know I already used in the quilt and want to use again? Then that’s wasted time…

img_1504-small

So I stopped and organized. That’s a lot of fabrics. This is part of why it’s taking so long. It took a run of 6 greens to make the small intestines, another 6 of browns for the large intestines.

img_1505-small

Complicated as shit. Anyway, all the innards are now ironed down and I’m on to the head…in fact, I just have the head and the two heads in the cloud left. Even the cloud is picked out (you can see it lying largely on top).

img_1507-small

So that’s good. But today is already designated yardwork and rain barrel day, so it’s gotta get done. Seriously, because the kids are gone in a week and a half, and then I’m back to no help at all. So much as I hate walking away from the quilt at the moment (especially with the deadlines crowding my brain, I need to get out there and hook this shit up.

*Imagine Dragons, Demons