Next I Will Need the Blues…

The reality of the kids coming home in just over a week…means I have to clean that room in there. It’s amazing how long it can take to go through years of stored art materials and projects. I spent some time last night and found more stuff I’d forgotten about…like this little quilt. I can’t even tell you how old. I wanna say around 2007-2008, because I was doing these small drawings with body parts and birds, and Birdhead was before this and it’s 2007…

I guess I never felt compelled to quilt it. Silly really. It would probably only take a couple of hours…and then a binding and it would be done. It’s funny, because what I really look at is I don’t want to waste the fabric in it by never finishing it. There’s some awesome fabric in that. It needs to become a quilt.

Then I found this…barely started. I have a smaller one I used to embroider on when I traveled. I don’t actually remember starting this…

In the old days, about half the time I made quilts, I just Wonder-Undered a bunch of fabric and hand cut shapes out and placed them on the backing and ironed them down. This is one of those. Old school Kathy.

I went to IQA in Long Beach once and took some classes. I really LOVED this class. Couldn’t tell you the teacher’s name. Or when I did it. 2008? or 2010? Hard to say…but it was basically mark-making on fabric and paper. It was very cathartic…

I have a bunch of pieces from this…

Then I took a class from Yvonne Porcella, who is an amazing artist. But the teaching? Yeah, not so much. I got this much done…

And again, there’s some awesome fabric in that and I don’t want to waste it…here’s the drawing…

And I realized I totally don’t work this way and I want to go back to the way I DO work and finish this, which means tracing it all onto Wonder Under instead of tracing paper. Because this is nuts.

I found this piece of silk velvet I had hand-dyed…

And then I gave up cleaning and started ironing the current quilt again.

I’m still working my way around the outside of the bathtub, but I’m almost done…this is a pile of underwear and socks.

I laid out the stuff for the next hundred…you can see how much is done on the right…

I’m in the 300s and about 4 1/2 hours into the ironing. I’m trying to do 100 pieces a night. I’d do more, but I’ve been grading an assignment a night before I’m allowed to iron. I’ve gotten through three assignments in three nights, so I’m doing well. Catching up. Feeling less pressure…except so many kids still aren’t turning stuff in.

Here’s everything I’ve used so far…heavy on purples apparently. We’ll be going into flesh and bathtub colors next.

And I closed the one blue drawer, forcing Midnight to sleep in the lower drawer so I could get to the grays without squishing her.

She seemed to accept the change easily enough. But next I will need the blues…I’m wondering if I can just open another drawer and entice her into a different color. Who knows…

Ironing Owls…

Yesterday was chaos. Today is Tuesday.

I’m powering through grading as fast as I can. My kids won’t do work unless you tell them it’s graded. Does that mean sometimes I tell them that and then quietly don’t grade it? Yup. Absolutely. So I’m just getting through.

But I set a boundary last night, because now that I’m ironing fabric, I feel like I’m getting into this piece, so I WANT to do more each night. I just have to balance between the two so I don’t end up buried in schoolwork over break. Which I might anyway.

Around 10:30, I started ironing. I’m not going particularly fast at the moment. I did about 100 pieces in an hour and a half. Granted, part of that was a rather large owl, the one that’s here…

Came from this drawing, except he has DNA on him. And I changed the colors. He’s more brown this time. In fact, I didn’t even look at him while I was picking fabrics. Because he could have been the same color, except I couldn’t get to a lot of the gray fabrics because Midnight is still sleeping in the blue drawer. Really I should shut that drawer and then maybe she’d sleep in the one below it and I could get to the gray fabrics. Although I might get to the blues of the water soon, and then we’ll have an issue.

I don’t know what my deal is with owls. Or birds in general. They’re just cool to draw. And they’re supposed to be all mystical and wizardical and wise and shit. There should be more wise going on right now. Not just personally, but worldwide. Certainly here in the US. More wisdom (and I don’t mean age…I mean logical thought about actions and consequences and people’s lives) would not be a bad thing.

So I picked the owl fabrics and a wine bottle and I think that’s it. Kind of pitiful really, although I’m feeling good that I graded an assignment AND ironed fabric. AND cooked dinner.

Here’s the pile of fabrics used so far…

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Lots of purples popping in there…even in the owl.

It doesn’t look like much on the right…because it’s not.

It’s only 200 pieces and a bit. Maybe 250. I’m still ironing the stuff outside the bathtub…haven’t even gotten into the bathtub or the main figure. I have stuff every night this week, but think I can come home and iron most nights. I’m scared to make a goal, but let’s hope I’m fully ironed by say Saturday? I don’t even know if that’s possible…then I can cut out in the early part of next week, and then who knows? The kids come home and then it’s Christmas and Winter Break and holy shit, I am so not ready.

The girlchild has planned out her entire break already, so…hopefully we will see her at some point. Boychild will probably be here a good chunk of the time. The animals will have to adjust, which probably means me as well. Food too…no more prepping meals for the week on Sunday, because there’s only me and I don’t want to eat the same thing every night, but I don’t want to cook every night. Adjustments. I sent them both chocolate for finals. They’ve both been sending me videos of cats and other stuff as they distract themselves from writing giant-ass essays. It’s a good thing we didn’t have those distractions back in the day.

OK, another meeting this morning, hopefully less volatile than yesterday’s. Then teaching. Apparently. Yeah.

Go Make Art…

Note to self. When work starts to weigh you down, go make some art. I worked a lot this weekend. I’ve been working a whole lot this year. The last two weeks were mostly work work work. I got a little ahead (well, not ahead, but less behind) on Sunday, so I made art last night when I finished dinner. I came in the studio and deliberately put away all the fabrics I had ironed and ignored the fact that there are still a bunch in the laundry basket outside in the hallway. I hung up the drawing for the new quilt…

This room still isn’t clean. It’s better. It’s not done. Same with the boychild’s room. I sent him a new picture, and he claims he will be sleeping on the couch. Nah. I’m almost done in there. I could legitimately walk in there and pile it all up and drop it in here in about 5 minutes. It just wouldn’t be organized. I’m pretty slow on the organization part. There’s not enough storage space and I don’t want things to disappear for 10 years like before. I didn’t even show you the two quilts that are all blocks that are ready to sash or sew together. The sashing fabric is even in there and washed and sometimes cut into strips. Yeah. That organized.

Then I laid out the first 100 pieces of Wonder Under…

Very exciting. Realized there was a rug under each side of the bathtub that was a fairly large piece of fabric, so there might need to be some coordination on that. So I found all the rug parts in 4 different boxes and did those first.

I was accompanied by this helper…

Who blocked access to two drawers of blue and one drawer of gray fabrics, and pitched a tiny fit every time I opened the top gray drawer. Then when I was on the other side of the room, opening other drawers, she would come over and try to get into them. Very helpful.

This one just sat on the chair.

It’s nice to have them both in here though. Babygirl wouldn’t have allowed it. These two don’t love each other…there’s some tension…

But I think they’re working on it. Like siblings who are tired of sitting in the back seat together.

Here’s everything I used last night…

You can see the cat on the right and my gun-toting Defiance-watching on the left.

And here’s everything I managed to iron last night…

Only 100 pieces. Well, more than that, because I did all the rug pieces. It took me longer than usual, two hours, for maybe 150 pieces. But some of that was just getting my head around the colors. I have two possible backgrounds I’m looking at…they’re both dark dark blue, so it probably doesn’t matter which one I use. I’m just glad that I’m back on track, that there’s progress. I have a couple of things I have to get done over Winter Break besides this one, plus I have to get a significant start on another smaller one by the end of break. There’s only two weeks until break. So I’m hoping to get this ironed onto fabric, trimmed, and ironed down in the next two weeks. That might be a bit much, looking at the calendar, but it’s a good goal.

Saturday night was dinner with this view…

Not a bad view…good company. And I wasn’t grading anything.

Channeling My Art…

One of the biggest issues with being a teacher is that I often care more about my students’ grades than they do. I care more about their work ethic than most of them do, and sometimes way more than their parents do. I want them all to do well, and when they don’t, I go in my head and try to figure out why. Is it too hard? Do I expect too much? The thing is the only thing I’m really doing differently this year is that a lot of the instruction has gone online. That said, the huge assignment I just graded was all paper, all classwork, all things they should have been able to complete during class time. And no. They didn’t.

I could start making phone calls, but I can’t even imagine trying to find the time to make all the calls I need to, because there are that many. I’ve tried putting stuff in the weekly parent email, but it seems parents ignore that…or they care just as much as their student. I’ve never had this many kids not turn work in. I’m frustrated. My AP suggested an incentive (yes, a bribe)…those who got x% turned in got food. Nachos. So there’s two issues with that…money being the first one. So Smart and Final it is…but also, that means I also have to find the time to make sure I know what’s turned in. Whether it’s electronic or paper, someone has to log all that. So I’m trying to figure out a smaller subset I can check for the incentive. But honestly, I’m so tired and overwhelmed with the workload right now that I can’t even imagine finding the energy to try. Sad but true. I’m working way harder than they are.

So yeah. It’s with that weighing on me that I made the decision to stop trying to clean up before moving on to the next stage in this quilt. I’ve ironed a bunch, but the rest will have to wait. And I need to do another drawing for the next one. So even though I still have like 7 assignments to grade (and I might be able to kick those out this week), I’m not doing any more today. She says at 3:30 PM. Yeah. I know. I did cook a turkey this morning. Brined her last night. Pulled all the meat off, divided it in half, and got it into the fridge and freezer. That was helpful. And I’ve dealt with some holiday stuff and some bills that needed paying. So it hasn’t been a useless day…just a semi-depressing one. This job. Seriously.

Moving on. Making art.

This one. She’s stressed. She’s sad too, but she can manage it all. Presumably if I channel her a bit this week, then I will be able to as well.

Friday. Hallelujah.

Hallelujah Friday. I needed you to arrive. It’s been a long week and I haven’t gotten as much done as I’d like. For instance, last night was completely useless. I had no brain power left. And this morning, I woke up with a headache…weather-related? Or the fact that I need to go back to the chiropractor? My new chiropractor is great, but I can’t seem to get back on a once-a-month basis…I don’t know what the other one did that was different, but it seemed to hold for longer. Weird. And no, I don’t think he’s holding back on purpose so I have to come in more often.

I’m a little frustrated with my inability to get to the art stuff, but have to accept that there must be a reason. The next step in the quilt requires brain power, and I guess I just don’t have it at the moment. I trust my art brain to get there when it can.

I have been doing some hobby stitching, stuff that occupies the hands but doesn’t hurt the brain. I did some in Seattle and I did some last night, instead of working on the girlchild’s Xmas stocking that will never get done.

I’m trying to upload the photos onto WordPress and it’s being cranky this morning. Seems like the whole world is a little cranky some days, doesn’t it? Cars cutting you off, crazy people in stores. So I try a workaround to get the photos. I’ve switched to a different posting platform, which they call “new and improved” and I call “eh”.

And that’s not working either. Sigh. NOW it works. Geez.

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So I worked on these in the car on the way to Thanksgiving. They’re easy enough to do. I travel with them. I used to work on them at soccer games. They’re fun to stitch.

I don’t know if I can get the other three to post. Technology has been semi-frustrating in the last few days. Anyway, I worked on one of them last night at my stitching meeting…

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It worked! (The upload). It’s not done (the block). Still.

Then I came home and ate and tried to focus. Ha! So I have this huge pile of fabrics from a friend’s mom who died and they needed washing (I’m allergic to all those new-fabric chemicals), but then they needed ironing, and that’s usually where I balk. I’m finally doing it though.

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Originally there there two laundry baskets full of bits and pieces (some larger than pieces), but I’m down to one. So that’s good.

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And I pile them up by color to make it easy when I need to put them away. Talk about braindead work. Ironing, folding, piling by color. There’s some I can’t imagine ever using, but I remind myself that I don’t know what I’m going to do, and that fabric there, that pure 80s calico, it might be the perfect thing for the piece I haven’t made yet.

You never know.

Yeah, I really don’t like this new and improved posting experience people. But whatever. So my goal this weekend is to get as caught up as I can and be kind to myself and other people and fucking clean out the boychild’s room! I have been working on that, but it’s still not there. And my office is not better, which means I can’t cut stuff out. And it’s all a little overwhelming when you toss the holiday crap into it as well. Yup. December kicks my ass every year.

Gotta go to work. I guess the plus is that it’s still Friday! Oh yeah baby.

An Anthropological Dig…

So I had about 45 minutes free after school yesterday, and by free, I mean I had 78 things to do and I picked one of them, notably cleaning out the boychild’s room because as of 8:30 PM tonight, he’s home in 2 weeks (holy shit, time flies). So I panicked a bit and got some stuff moved out that I had organized before but just hadn’t found a home for, and then started going through the immensely scary pile on the bed. It’s scary because I’m not quite sure what to do with it. There’s a quilt in there that I finished years ago but don’t like and think I need to paint over, although after looking at it last night, I’m not even sure it’s worth the time. I spent hours on it, but I just don’t like it. Strange for me, but it was an early quilt. I think I was still married when I made it. Divorced in 2002, by the way (well officially later than that, but 2002 in my head).

So here’s some of the fun stuff I found…this quilt…

So I am in a quilt guild that I hardly ever go to, just because it’s Monday nights and honestly, they used to have interesting speakers, because whoever was in charge had a contemporary leaning, but now it’s mostly traditional stuff, so I don’t go more than about once a year. Anyway, they would give out a pattern in the newsletter and if you brought in a block (or 10 blocks) in that pattern, you could donate them and one person would win all of them and take them home. So I thought the pattern was interesting and made a block. But then I didn’t go to the meeting. But I made more blocks. And I suck at piecing. Do not look close up at this thing. And it’s really not big enough for a lap quilt…it works for me because I have a small lap, but I think I made it to cover the back of the couch I no longer own. Anyway, I found it in the pile, and I’m like, why is this here? It looks done? There were about 15 inches of the binding that were not sewn. You know what I did last night? I sewed those inches and then put the blanket over my feet. As I turned the thermostat down again.

I do know HOW to make traditional quilts. I just don’t. Usually. Baby quilts. I don’t know how old it is…if it predates the divorce, and I think it does, it won’t be on the blog. So let’s say before 2002.

Then I found this…which I really like. And I know where it’s supposed to go.

My quilt teacher and friend Susan had this quilt she made off a drawing she did from some textile her parents gave her? She’ll tell me if I’m totally off with this. Anyway, I always liked it and so I got the pattern from her and then did it in entirely inappropriate colors (hers is all nice earth tones. Or maybe the original is. It would make sense if hers were all in purples). See, I know how to applique (I found all the blocks to two applique quilts that need to be sewn together). All this needs is a good border and to be quilted, and it’s not that big. And then I could hang it where it belongs. I also can’t date this one, although I think it’s post divorce…so it might be on the blog way back when. I started blogging in 2004, but had to migrate and not all the pictures came with the migration. Based on what I just found in my picture files, it looks like 2006. Maybe.

Then I found this…and this has been floating around the studio for years.

When I first started making art quilts, I did a lot of hand applique. Now I’m good at it and fast, but it takes FOREVER to make an art quilt with hand applique. A few of the early ones are just that and they are small and took me months. So that’s why I started taking all these classes, trying to figure out how I could do bigger faster. So this one never got done…here’s the drawing, which I was looking for…

No date on it, but I can guess early 2000s, probably pre-divorce, because I know in late 2000-2001, I finished one small hand-applique art quilt and then started fusing them. So I suspect I started it in 2000 and then didn’t finish. Honestly, it’s almost done. Sure, it’s weird. But all my quilts are kinda weird. It feels like she deserves finishing. And it’s small…ish.

I feel like going through these piles that I want to finish those two above. One just because it’s nice and brightly colored and will be easy enough to finish and then I can brighten the house with it. The other, just because she’s waited so long and it’s a bit different from what I’ve been doing. Not that I’m advocating going back to hand-appliqueing art quilts, because that’s just fucking crazy. Yeah.

So that’s where I’m at. I didn’t make art last night, but I did make a dent in the pile of stuff in here that needs to shift so I CAN make art. That’s all I can apparently handle at the moment, which is too bad, because I’ve got some major deadlines piling up here and I need to get my act together. Ha. This is not the time of year for me to apparently do that. Sigh. I will keep going through the memory pile on the boychild’s bed though…it’s like an anthropological dig through Kathy’s art existence. Plus I suspect someone will want to sleep there soon enough.

Whatever Works…

Sometimes I look at the search terms people use to find my website. I usually find that it’s a mistake. It makes me want to search through all my posts for that particular phrase, which maybe I used, but I don’t think so? Because it’s not in my vernacular? I remember once many years ago when I was teaching in a different district, a parent accused me of saying something to their child that would have been (1) incredibly inappropriate (if I had actually said it, which I didn’t) and (2) grammatically incorrect (which is why I knew I had never said it). In fact, I was fairly sure I knew which kid had said it (a second-language learner…hence the grammar issue), but all they really wanted was an apology for something I’d never said. I tried to explain why I wouldn’t have said it, but the parents weren’t having it, weren’t understanding the grammar part. Whatever. Sometimes the hardest part of my job is dealing with parental expectations…for me and for their student and for the world in general.

So after a perfectly delightful meeting at a quilt store to drop off a cat quilt and (honestly) buy some more fabric because I needed stuff for the bathtub (in the quilt…not the one the dog and cats were in), I made it to the gym and home, mostly exhausted, but with a post-it-note list of things I had to do for school. Post this, print that, and then magically come up with shit for kids to do who for some inexplicable reason can’t be in the classroom with all the other kids. Pain in my ass. Because the stuff we’re doing isn’t actually do-it-alone stuff. I still teach, people. I put a lot of stuff online, yes, but it’s only after listening to me and watching me and asking me questions that kids are doing some of the online stuff. They aren’t good readers, in general, and I act out processes and they listen (well, mostly) as part of their understanding. So if I assign two articles and tell them to read and annotate, and then do this other assignment over here based on that…a ton of kids will just make shit up to avoid doing the reading. I had to make up a week’s worth of stuff for one kid. The other kid is leaving next week and won’t be back until January, and I know where he’s going and probably why, but can’t think of any job where you can just up and disappear for over 5 weeks and expect to still have a job when you get back. Meanwhile, I have to plan curriculum day by day through January, and I’ve barely got December under my belt. It would have been done, but my coteacher has been gone (good reason) and she and I have some coordinating to do.

All that, as far as I got (because I didn’t finish the kid who’s gone for a month) took until 9 PM, which is when I finally made dinner. And sat and ate it with a dog’s nose under my armpit (the house is cold). And then I should have finished grading Per 8’s tests and started grading Per 4’s journals, but I couldn’t. I just couldn’t. Too Many Hours on my job. I had a plan for what I was going to work on last night, and I didn’t get to any of it because of other people’s shit.

The only way to deal with that level of frustration is to make art. But I was really tired by then and felt like I should be cleaning out boychild’s room (his return gets closer every day, I hear), so all I did was sort the Wonder Under…

Yup. That’s some exciting art stuff there. The color! The interest! Eight boxes of Wonder Under, sorted by number. If I could just get my studio straightened out, I could start picking fabrics. Maybe that will be tonight. I just don’t know. I’m not holding out much hope.

I did wash the fabric I got yesterday, but did not even have the energy last night to pull it out and fold it…

I do love my new dryer though. It’s trés efficient. Yes, lots of grays and whites and a little black. I needed bathtub fabric. I also think I need a donut. That’s stress talking. Ironically, it’s the same stress that drags me to the gym. Whatever works.

Back to Semi-Normal…

Back to school! Whoo! Oh my. Some frustration. It’s hard when you’re explaining they have to work hard for three weeks and they’re already focused on the next holiday. “Wait, we only have three weeks until Winter Break? Cool!!!” Crap. And then I was supposed to be meeting with my department, but she’s driving back with a hurt puppy from far away. BUT, we did the whole meeting via text. I’m on the computer in Google Drive looking stuff up and figuring out an app that will let the students annotate PDF files, with the help of another teacher, and setting up lessons for the next three weeks as she’s texting me what to look for and whether or not we should print everything. No, she wasn’t driving, but we did meet. Impressive.

Then the girlchild is texting me about a party I’m supposed to go to and whether I have appropriate clothing (my nephew will tell you I don’t, as he quite rudely reminded me on Thanksgiving) and shoes. She’s sending me links and I’m sending her links and finally we have partial approval, and then I have to go get shoes.

BUT, in the middle of all this, I got a harebrained idea for a holiday card photo. Actually, that was in the car on the way home. I didn’t do cards the last few years because things were hard and I find it difficult to write the annual letter and send stuff out when I feel that way, but I think I’m out of that bad place, plus I’m not sending gifts abroad this year, so a letter has to go, but I don’t have anyone to HELP with a photo this year. In the early years of my marriage, we would spend an hour or so trying to get all the animals in one place. We’d put dog treats on a chair or couch or I think it was the hope chest, and the dog would jump up, all excited, and then we’d try to get the cats to stay there too, and half the photos would have a blurry, jumping animal or a human hand holding someone, until we got one acceptable photo. And that was in the days of having to print your photos to see if they were any good.

So I think, well, I’ll need to get them all in an enclosed space. Smallest of those in my house besides a closet is the bathroom. I find the big black cat and put her in there, meanwhile calling the dog and getting her in there too. Close the door. Kitten is right there, like, Mommy, what are you doing? Grab Kitten, go in there with camera.

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Spend 30 minutes trying to get all the animals in one photo. Midnight is not going along with sitting in a sink at all and Calli keeps lying down, because this is oh so tiring Mommy. Why? Actually in that picture, she’s scratching herself. And what’s a holiday photo without toilet paper in it? I just don’t know.

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Realizing that the bathroom is in pretty bad shape. We’ve spent the last 15 years pulling 6 layers of wallpaper off, but not actually ever finishing. That’s how I roll.

OK, this isn’t working. Look around. What can I do? Oh yeah. The bathtub. Doors on it. Persuade Calli to jump in, despite the fact that all I ever do in there is give her a bath. She’s a good dog. Then toss the black cat in there, who is by now yowling slightly and scratching at the door, much to the perturbation of the dog. Kitten lets me grab her and then scratches the fuck out of me (second time this week) when I drop her in.

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Oh yeah, that stings. Then I grab the step stool and take photos from above. It gets ugly quickly, so I take what I can get, then release them.

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I have to black out some weird light spot on Midnight. Calli’s paying attention though, isn’t she? Good girl. Yes, everyone got treats afterwards. I had to put Midnight’s treats just under the bed and then guard them from the dog until she came to get them. She is talking to me this morning. Actually, while I was working last night, she sat behind my head on the couch. Neck warmer.

I needed a picture of the kids as well, but stole one from girlchild. She’s a little pissy that they don’t rate the front of the card, but I remind her that they are now adults and pets are way cuter. I would have used the photo where the boychild is flipping me off, but think some relatives might object. One of the reasons I’m rushing to get all this done is they’re having a sale plus I have a discount card, so I pay very little for all this. Then I ask each kid for a paragraph for the annual letter and get a host of complaints until I explain that I will write it for them if they don’t provide. That seems to scare them appropriately. We’ll see what I get.

After all that and the shoe purchasing and making dinner (from scratch mostly, thanks to Trader Joe’s pizza dough), I grade some tests, which is more and more depressing as the night wears on. I can’t possibly finish them, because I have to put a label on a quilt that I’m delivering today. Which I do at midnight. Well done!

Do I make art? Fuck no. No time. Tonight I must make time. Somehow. I’m not sure how. But I did get some errands off my plate, so that’s a good thing. And I’ll be at a fabric store this afternoon. That can’t be all bad, even if I can’t possibly buy it all. Honestly, I can’t buy much at all, but whatever.