The Days When You Don’t

Sometimes I don’t get any art done because it’s just a full day. There’s a celebration or a party or I’m traveling somewhere. Or I’m somewhere I can’t actually make art for whatever reason, in meetings or whatever. Usually I’m tired enough by the end of such days that the creative part shuts down, clams up, turns off. For a day or so, that’s OK, but even being able to pull out the sketchbook and make a quick drawing helps in the long run. Because then there’s days when you’re NOT going through all that, but you still can’t, you don’t. You act like the rest of the world, sitting on a couch staring at a television screen, or sitting on a chair staring at your computer (OK, I did do some of that last night). Mostly I worked though. And when I got done working, I realized it was 11:49 PM and I was tired…and much as I wanted to wake up in the morning and feel like I’d accomplished something besides filling in a gradebook or typing up a story, that wasn’t happening. It’s the way the cookie crumbles sometimes. I made it to the gym for once, which was a plus, although I’m still not sold on reading Dracula. Book club is tomorrow night and I already know I’m not going, because I have a union meeting, but I usually finish the book anyway and I’m not sure I can bring myself to read Dracula as an adult. I had to read it in college (I guess technically I was an adult then). It’s just so heavy and overly dramatic. I’m not sure I need that in my life right now.

So my life is not currently in sync with Dracula. Probably not a bad thing. And I was making money last night…and catching up. Both things that needed to happen. Maybe tonight I can cut out the last two small quilts and start ironing. If I tell myself right now that grading papers tonight is not happening, maybe that will help. Just don’t bring the gradebook home. I do need to finish that other thing though, but maybe I can do that before I go do the social thing. I should admit that I’m going to listen to a lecture on the zombie brain…it’s for work! No seriously, it is. There just happen to be food and libations at such a thing.

My 3 AM wakeup call? I thought the dog needed to pee. Nope. She needed an early morning swim. Sometimes this animal drives me bonkers and I happily watch her leave with her grandpa.

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She’s a needy beast. But I miss her when she’s gone. It does not bode well for my getting another dog. She’s currently splayed out on my floor, damp again from another swim (that’s four in the last 12 hours people). And I’m feeling like a mack truck hit me because I was up at 3 AM dealing with her bathing needs.

I just had to write up a summary for one of my art groups of all of my current or upcoming exhibits. I was rejected from yet another show last week…but I have quite a few in the world this month and next, plus a 2-person show coming up. I am trying to focus on those things instead of the continuous rejections that have been coming in for the last year. Most of my newer work is out there in the world, so that’s a good problem to have. All I can do is keep making the work, when I can make it off the couch or out of the chair, and if I have work that is getting in the way of that, I can fight the good fight to keep it under control. The plus with nights like last night is that I wake up with a renewed intent to not do that again, not let inertia keep me in one place for so long. Not let the day pin me to the cushions. And the need to make more money so I can pay for college…I sometimes need to let that slip…even just a little…so I can keep my sane hat on. Most of the time.

Tonight? Zombies and art. It’s all good.

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