Stitched Down…

I sewed a lot yesterday. I also stressed about taxes and colleges and flights yesterday. There will be more of that today. But I did finish the stitching…it took 6 hours and 21 minutes. I suspect a good hour of that was fighting with the machine and having to restitch part of the whole bottom section on Thursday night. Still, it’s time spent, and I keep track of that, because that’s part of how I price the piece…

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I even went to a gaming party in the middle of all of it, ate, drank, played some Cards Against Humanity and almost won, and then came back and finished up.

Once the machine was behaving, it was easy. I just kept going until it was done. I got up every 30 minutes or so to stretch or warm up my tea or pee or walk to the mailbox…anything to get me out of the chair. I had a major tweak in my shoulder/neck yesterday from the night before (maybe the not-sleeping part of the night)…it’s still sort of there today, but much better. I didn’t get much else done yesterday, of course, because that’s how it works. When I buckle down and get serious about getting the art done, I don’t leave the house. I don’t do yardwork or housework. I don’t run errands. I don’t grade papers. I don’t do shit but get the art done. I even forgot to eat for a good portion of yesterday…realized around 1 that I didn’t eat breakfast or lunch. Whoops.

The cat slept behind the machine, obviously not concerned about the vibrations…

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Sometimes they like the machine and sometimes they don’t. Limbo didn’t like it. He’d make that complaining cat noise and then leave. I miss that cat. Babygirl didn’t seem to mind yesterday, even when the quilt top was on top of her at one point.

My brain is in a better place today. Maybe I sewed it all out. No. Some of the angst and stress and badness are still there, lurking around a corner. Maybe they will always be there. Maybe that’s just who I am. I don’t know.

Can’t even come up with a decent title today for the blog post. Fuck that.

My real problem this morning, besides having to clean the entryway floor so I can baste the damn quilt, which is a big sucker, is this pile…

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on TOP of the quilt, tax stuff…not mine. My taxes were done in January. These are the boychild’s taxes I’m trying to do, and I don’t understand any of it…it’s college funds that matured and rolled over and were somewhat dispersed, and it all makes my head want to explode. So the ex will deal with that or we will find a professional, because I can’t finish his financial aid without all that. It took me an hour to find 19 years’ worth of data on one financial fund. Ugh.

So I take a deep breath and consider the fact that I finally have most of a cup of tea in my tired brain, and I can clean the floor and then piece the backing and pull the batting out of the dryer and then get it all laid out, and worst-case scenario, the only thing I will accomplish today is the start of quilting this beast…and then perhaps my Easter will be a quilting day. Because that’s not a bad way to spend a Sunday. Everything else is going to get solved, one way or another, except for possibly the angsty depression that I carry around all the time…and I have been living with that long enough to know that I don’t have to listen to it. Depression panics and says the worst things ever, and the next morning after a cup of tea, it all seems manageable. Mostly.

People like this quilt. Maybe that’s all I need to know or care about right now. That and the 12-plus hours it’s gonna take to quilt it.

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