Fearless on my Breath*

My head is fluffy, like the pillow I’d like it still to be laying upon. Inside it’s like clouds, those puffy white ones that look like animals and then turn into vampires. Or cannons. Seriously, I always see cannons…or spaceships, but those are a particular type of cloud. I remember that. I’m sure by the time 9 AM rolls around, some of the fluff will have cleared and I’ll have more space in there for coherent thoughts. It’s a good thing I can get up, check my blood sugar, take a shower, get dressed, feed the animals, make lunch and tea and sometimes breakfast, and sit down in here without any noticeable ability to grab an intelligible thought from my brain. This stuff I write just spills out…it’s right at the edge of my brain and wriggles into my fingers, pushing keys, hey did I tell you I finally got a new keyboard? You can actually see the letters on it. What a concept.

See. My brain just got away from me there.

Interesting segue (not Segway) into one of the things I did last night…which was to see Nick Cave (the sculptural/performance artist, not the Bad Seed)…

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He’s looking perturbed by some of the crazy stuff the PBS commentator guy is saying. But also…Nick, I love your stuff, but you aren’t always coherent about your place in the world. Then again, PBS guy wouldn’t shut up. It was still cool to see and hear him…the best parts are when he would describe how he did something or when he would talk about why he was doing it. As artists, we are often called upon to explain our work, and it’s not always explicable. Or it’s private enough that we put it out there and let you interpret it, but we’re not dumping the real story out there. As one of my artist friends said, if I could put it in words, I would have…but I can’t, so I use art.

I came home and graded (oh yes), and then cut another yard out…

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At least this part is semi-relaxing at the moment.

Katie is so needy some nights. The other dogs were gone, so she followed me everywhere.

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Blurry night dog. She’s lying behind my chair right now. Like RIGHT BEHIND it so I can’t get out.

So this is what 3 yards of cut-up Wonder Under looks like. Slightly bigger pile than 2 yards. Hopefully after tonight it will be 4 yards, although I have a show to go watch…but late, so I should be able to sneak an hour and a half of cutting stuff out into my evening. And more grading, of course.

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I really want to be ironing on Saturday, but I’m not sure that’s an option. I need to get the last two yards cut out…that’s about 3 hours. I need to grade at least one major assignment…that’s another 2 hours. Plus I need to clean up from the last quilt, put all the fabrics away, so that’s another hour. Huh. Sigh. Busy day. Don’t even think about vacuuming, mopping, washing bedding, all that crap. The compost pile. All that crap.

I did buy background fabric the other day, plus I bought these to add to the stash…

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Here’s the two choices for the background. I think it has to be the one on the left, just because of how busy the quilt is and what needs to go on there, but it’s OK…I’ll use the one on the right for something.

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There’s always something. It was too nice to leave behind.

Today in class, the kids are researching stuff. The hope is that they are self-sufficient enough that I can grade Unit 2 before report cards go home. In the past, this has worked. The last two years have not. Sometimes I sit with a kid or table that is off task…it’s amazing how much work they get done when I’m sitting next to them, doing my own work. I guess I’m a role model at that moment. An old scary role model who is sitting next to them. As long as I can get through at least one class worth of the units, I’m not sure I care.

*Massive Attack, Teardrop