I Want Time to Slip Away*

Happy 4th American peoples…all the shop people who were asking me if I was ready for the 4th can now stop, right? Which reminds me, I totally got manshamed yesterday at Home Depot because some kid employee was asking me how I was and saying hi and I half-smiled as an answer, but I was looking for something and didn’t want to be sociable and then he totally verbally gave me shit for not saying something back to him. I think I gave him an incredulous look…like dude, just because you have to greet people for your job doesn’t mean I have to do ANYTHING back. I acknowledged you with a facial expression. Be a dick again and I’ll complain to management asshole. Old enough to be your grammy you fucktard and way way more feminazi.

Back to the 4th. Fireworks and dogs…bad. Ours started last night and continued until after 1 AM, as did the Calli freakout. But y’all should relax and hang out with friends and family and do all the stuff people are supposed to do on the 4th. I always feel weird about it because I’m not uber-patriotic and I already have the summer off, so it’s not a vacation day, and I think people go a bit overboard with expectations of whatever it should be. I do like fireworks though, so I’ll go see those. It’s not the first year without the girlchild…and she screamed through her first fireworks.

I’m feeling a bit crankballs this morning. Not good sleep between dog reacting to M-80s and something out there at 4 AM and then a grandpa delivering shit this morning to the driveway. I slept in between all the dog barking. I’ll be OK later. I need to get some shit done, and then it will feel better.

That’s all I did yesterday really…run errands and try to finish community quilts. I think I’ve got another 2 hours of sewing and then some cutting wood for hangers and weights and then I’m done. But I need to prep the quilts for my solo show too and I’m kind of sick of all this stuff that’s not art.

So first of all, I have this weird door that opens into my entryway…it used to be a fire door, but then they put a new door in my bedroom, which works for that too. The door is failing…a combination of age and moisture in that corner. It gets no sun. So lizards regularly just go under and there was a lot of cold air this last winter through that space. I asked my dad about fixing it or whether I should just call someone, and he said he’d do it, but he’s been putting it off and putting it off…until yesterday.

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He pulled the door off and replaced it temporarily…

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And now he’s down in the driveway with the boychild doing sawing things. Loud sawing things. I’m sure I will be very thankful once I have a new door.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, I had two more quilts to bind yesterday? Or four? Can’t remember. This fringe almost made me lose it…but otherwise, it all got done.

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The boychild managed dogs and computers…

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All the while, the neighbor kids had invited more loud kids over, one of whom is definitely named Ronin (unclear on spelling…they didn’t yell THAT out, although they yelled everything else). I really appreciate moms sitting around yelling “That’s ENOUGH!” without follow-through. Sigh. Trying to teach myself to ignore it. Trying to remember my own kids running around like crazy monkeys. Trying to become ZEN with it. I can do this. I do it at school. Meanwhile, boychild is positing how to set up all our speakers, point them at their yard, and play inappropriate songs, and then randomly yelling swear words. Better to not seem too crazy. They’re not up and at ’em this morning, so that’s a plus. It’s probably better if I start creating a plant wall on the deck that blocks the noise…that’s what I’m gonna think about. A positive plan for more quiet.

Then I had decided I wanted to recreate a recipe for dinner that I’d eaten somewhere. I had the description but no recipe…and it involved crepes…which I had never made before. My SIL said they were easy and the girlchild sent me a recipe, so I made a bunch of things, including crepes (which were easy)…

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I also made up the filling from the description…didn’t get the sauce quite right (way too rich), but these were good. Rosemary chicken and zucchini with mozzarella and garlic aioli crepes. Presentation could be better, but eating was fine…

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Although it took like 2 hours (I made some other stuff in between)…it might have been easier to drive to the restaurant and pay them to make them.

Then I started sewing sleeve edges down…the fast way…just a running stitch.

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I was despairing of how long it was taking me and calculating out how much more time on the rest of them when I realized that I did the two LONG ones last night, and the others are all way shorter, so less time. That’s where I’m getting the two-hour estimate.

This lizard’s tail…looks wonky.

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This is Calli about an hour after fireworks and before the M-80s started going off. Still nervous…

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Still breathing hard…I eventually sat down with her and rubbed her belly until she laid down…

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Poor baby. Tonight is gonna be rough (she’s staying with the boychild).

I did some blue stuff on here, on the right, in the orange flowers down in the corner area.

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Just filling in space.

I did enlarge the two drawings I want to work on next, but I was too tired from bending over and standing to do the sleeves to do the same for cut and tape, so I just tried that whole going-to-bed-early thang? Yeah. Then M-80s. For the next 2 hours. Dog tried to dig a hole under my bed. Ugh. Tired and headachy this morning. Gonna try more tea and some breakfast and a shower. Then finish the damn sleeves and maybe cut some wood (I don’t know when the install is exactly…want to be prepared). Then ironing and dehairing quilts for my show. Hoping for some drawing or something in the late hours. We’ll see.

No. I really should say YES. I will be doing art-related activities tonight at some point, because I think the lack of that is what’s making me crankballs. Own it. Change it.

*Whispertown 2000, Atlantis

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