Completely Braindead

I can’t even tell you how many things I’ve already forgotten to do and I’ve only been up for an hour and a half. I’m leaving on a hike soon and realized I forgot my sunscreen…could be a problem, but I’m hoping someone else remembers theirs. For a paleface like me, it could be really bad. I just considered driving back to the nearest grocery store, but parking is at a huge premium in this area of town. Sigh. Duh. Stupid brain. I’ve been doing all these night hikes where you have to remember to bring a headlamp, which I have to tell myself to remember. My big pack has sunscreen, but there’s no room in this one. The old car had sunscreen in it always, but this one has not been fully outfitted yet.

I’m making lists of what I need to do and buy and pack this weekend, and that wakes me up at 5 AM, breathing heavy and twitchy feeling, wondering how to get back to sleep, because I can feel the adrenaline pulsing through my chest. Is there any good reason for fight or flight instincts in response to having too much to do? Probably not. My meditation practice has been absent this week. Time to insist on it.

I’d like to say I got a bunch done (on anything) last night, and I guess between me and the girlchild, all the quizzes and warmups are graded and input in the gradebook (although not online yet), but I forgot the homework at school and will have to go back for it (yes I put it on my calendar) and I couldn’t move off the couch after exercising, partially due to inertia, but also because the girlchild was not in a good place. Hopefully it will be better after next week. She worries about everyone.

I think I have to get out of the car and put my shoes on now. I’m hoping this hike, which is an urban one, so not my favorite, but it was available and doable, important at this stage of my week, will clear the brain and set me up for a productive weekend…kick some of this shit off my list so I can be more…more…I don’t know what, but less this crazy stressed person who can’t finish anything.

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