Women I Want to Be When I Grow Up

I started writing this post the other day when I read someone’s list of awesome fictional women…actually, I just went and searched around to see if I could figure out where I got the idea, because the blogger LIKES his hits and trackbacks…fellow teacher and sci-fi writer (although I barely qualify) InfiniteFreeTime wrote about that here. The interesting thing about being a GIRL though (actually, I rarely call myself a girl because it’s such a loaded word when you are dealing with an adult female) is that those awesome female fictional characters are also our role models. So from growing up reading and looking at stuff and trying out how to be the most awesomest female in the world, I put together some short lists.

First of all, you have to know that when I was younger, like middle school, I would tell people that I was the reincarnation of Mary Cassatt (in fact, I wrote a whole story about it, which in retrospect, was probably only one page long in a school notebook and was tossed out that summer when we cleaned out our backpacks). The reason I picked Cassatt was because, and this is important, at the time, she was the only female artist I knew about. Sad but true. I’m not sure even now that I have female role models in the art world…there are artists whose work I admire, but whose practices or personal lives leave much to be desired. Then again, they didn’t have any role models either. The crazy-ass balance between mom, provider, and artist is not something to be envied most days.

Anyway, when I grow up, I want to be one of these women…actually, I want to be a composite of all of them…notice the recurring theme of stubborn strength and kicking ass. In some sort of chronological order…

Dana Scully in X Files: Dana is the perfect mix of faith and science, and although I’m not a religious person, I love her cynicism when it comes to Mulder’s belief and her ability to kick ass and still admit when she’s wrong.

Ellen Ripley in the Alien series: Ripley saves the kid AND kills the aliens. She’s tough, but caring, and so nice to her cat. And she recognizes a bitchy alien when she sees one.

Jane Tennison in Prime Suspect (the UK version): a troubled character, but excels despite being surrounded by testosterone-addled males. Plus she solves the cases.

Mrs. Piggle Wiggle in the books of her name: I read Mrs. PW when I was a kid, but it wasn’t until I was reading them to my OWN kids (and teaching middle school) that I realized how freakin’ awesome she is. Always cheery and perky, but the punishment fits the crime. I wish I could be her.

Beatrix Kiddo (aka The Bride) in Kill Bill: There’s something to be said for revenge and for being good at something that is not very feminine (whatever the fuck THAT means…but think about all the stereotypes girls have to watch and then toss this character into that mix…she’s badass, but has compassion), and The Bride does it with style.

Lisbeth Salander in The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (prefer the original movies) and the rest of the series: Yup. She’s fucked up. But I love how she gets revenge (ah, a theme erupts). Plus she’s damn smart and sneaky.

Kara Thrace aka Starbuck from Battlestar Galactica (the new one): Starbuck is another troubled woman (she drinks, she smokes, and she fucks up regularly), and she is carrying a HUGE chip on her shoulder, but you can see her fight through her feelings in the series. She is an emotional mess at times, but fights through the crazy and stands strong…not just for herself.

There’s a theme here: troubled, emotional, often making mistakes, but strong in conviction and ability, not bound by gender except when others try to force it on them.

There are other female characters that I love, but who then make a really stupid decision, like Anna in Downton Abbey (don’t keep secrets like that!). I’m always disappointed when shit like that happens. I guess it’s a fine line between a Starbuck or a Jane Tennison and Anna, but it’s my line to draw.

There’s a couple other lists I made while I was thinking about this (and I’ve been thinking about it for days, and I could probably wrack my brains for another year and make the list longer, but this is where it’s at right now).

Girls I wish I had been when I was younger

Hermione Granger in Harry Potter: Duh. Who doesn’t want to be her? Smart, beautiful, strong, emotional, kicks ass around the boys. Thanks JK Rowling for giving my daughter someone to look up to.

Arya Stark in Game of Thrones: Another duh. She’s a tomboy, she uses a sword like a boy (or better), she gets out of situations like a magician, and George R.R. Martin hasn’t killed her yet (knock on wood).

Pippi Longstocking in the books of her name: She’s strong, nonviolent, and a creative thinker. Plus everything she does is cool.

Women I don’t want to be?

Gemma Teller Morrow from Sons of Anarchy: Wants to do right by her family, but is a giant-ass mess. Sure, we all want to be in bed with Jimmy Smits, but we don’t kill people to get there. She’s evil. I realize she’s supposed to be and her circumstances made her largely who she is, and even more importantly, I’m supposed to be troubled about liking her…but I just don’t. In fact, I don’t like any of the women in SoA. I used to like Tara (although that is also pointless now) until she became some PTSD survivor crazy person. Much as I love the show, it’s hard on the females. Oh yeah, and Gemma babysits when drugged out. Bad grandma.

Alicia Florrick in The Good Wife: I have never ever liked her. She wimped out, she used her situation, she’s flaky, she’s fucked up but not in a good way. She just irritates the crap out of me. Take a stand, woman. Please. For the sake of other women out there.

Frida Kahlo: OK, so this is hard because I love her art. But she’s kinda like Alicia, in that she let Diego Rivera be the giant ass he was and she put up with it, and from what I read, that fucked her up mentally in a big way. But she stayed with him anyway. Yes, she made amazing art while she was alive, and some of it may have been precipitated by Diego’s dumbassedness, but I just wish she’d had the balls to tell him to fuck off, and walk away and maybe hang out with Georgia O’Keeffe instead. She might have been happier.

All the women in Breaking Bad, Justified, and The Dresden Files, and possibly more that I’m not even remembering right now. Those are just in my head at the moment. Most of the women on the Lifetime channel, and all of the women in the Real Housewives franchise. Holy shit. Just get rid of all of them.

Women my son wants me to be, but I haven’t actually seen yet

Buffy The Vampire Slayer (it’s on my long long list of things to watch): OK, probably he just wants to date Buffy or someone like her (he would disdainfully snarl at that characterization).

I’m sure this is an ever-changing list as I read more and/or remember more (seriously…the brain is not my friend), but it’s interesting to think about what makes you like or dislike a female role model, because there are certainly some very fine lines between fucked-up and vengeful when you look at say The Bride vs. Gemma, but hey, it’s my list. You don’t have to agree.