Mommy, Get Up!

Kitten: Mommy, get up.

Me: No. Don’t want to.

Kitten: Mommy, get up!

Me: Why? What’s the fucking point?

Kitten: Get up! I’m hungry. It’s daylight.

Me: Don’t fucking care. It’s daylight bloody early. You can’t make me.

Kitten: Can too. (Kitten proceeds to headbutt me, lean on me and boisterously clean her private parts, stand on and knead my full bladder, and then practice her hurdles over me)

Me: Bitch

Kitten: Fuck you too. Now get up.

Sigh. This is the new Sunday morning. I don’t want to get up and Kitten doesn’t agree.

And then, as soon as I get up and start to function (feed animals, do the crazy pile of dishes the girlchild left after a late-night cooking session, try to deal with the bills), then this is what she does…