Damn wolf is done. Worried about it all day, along with other crap. Hate that. It was a day. Things that threw me in the past? I just rolled over them. Or under them. Hard to tell. Who the fuck cares about some of this stuff…petty people with their silly control issues. Better to walk away.
I dragged the boychild out to get something to water the wild animals who frequent my pool area. This confuses my SIL, who was raised by someone who grew up on a farm. She thinks I’m nuts. Quotes Darwinism. Well, yeah, but…these are babies. So if they’re too dumb to find my manmade pond, THEN they’re too dumb to live.
Anyway. That was my tiny good deed for the day. I probably only have a tiny one.
I did buy plants for the entryway too…that’s been bugging me for a while. So I’ll plant those tomorrow or Sunday, make the entry a happier place…it makes me feel better to come home to flowers there. The simple things. Now I will have to remember to water them too. Sometimes I forget and my ex waters them when he comes to pick up the kids. I have been known to return the favor at his house. Strange symbiosis there.
I ironed tonight finally…that wolf. Thought about it all day, stared at the fabrics for about 10 minutes. I knew what the flesh fabrics looked like and what would be below it and what was above it, and I also knew I didn’t want it to overshadow the figure in front of it, so it needed to slightly fade behind it. So it couldn’t be all the wild crazy colors I auditioned in my head.
So she’s gray…
I know. Boring. But necessary. Sometimes it has to be boring.
I ironed the snake and the iPhone as well. I’m in the 1500s now, getting nearer to the end.
I stopped when I realized (a) it was late and I have a long hike tomorrow and (b) I would have to choose fabrics for the bird next. Same deal as the wolf…probably needs to not be too flashy. I think of it as a hawk, although it’s probably not correct…
Why? Because I rarely draw from reality. I just draw. Beak’s wrong. But I’m thinking browns of a red-tailed hawk. Something like that. That’s tomorrow night. You have to understand that the hawk has about 80 pieces in it, so it’s not something you start at midnight when you have to be up early the next morning.
As it is, I’m already up too late.
I’m always up too late.
I added some yellows today. I already had the greens.
I like my snakes to be green and yellow. I’m not sure why. I’m not even sure that’s a proper snake color. Never mind, of course it is. It’s totally the snake from the story of Adam and Eve.
Snakes end up in my quilts a lot. They’re kind of evil, but not. Amazing creatures, snakes. Martha Sielman asked me about some of the symbols that end up in my quilts when she interviewed me for the People and Portraits book. It’s hard for me to define why I use certain things over and over, like the snakes. I know the cats and dogs, they’re a sign of the animals I have around me, of the unconditional love they have for you. They are my protectors. Sometimes they are almost like angels, the ones who are dead and watch over you. I don’t remember what I said about snakes though. The snake in this quilt isn’t particularly good…it’s threaded through her abdominal area. That seems like an issue. I think that’s the feeling I get in my gut lately, well, over the last year, when I think about what I’ve been dealing with. It makes me clench my abdominal muscles involuntarily. I’ve written about that feeling before.
Anyway. Three more major things to iron down on the quilt: a bird, a giant eyeball, and an octopus (well, three tentacles anyway). Then I can start the 20+ hours of cutting stuff out. I’m at 20 hours for picking fabrics so far too. There’s something magical about that 20-hour mark. It means, This is a quilt of import. It has lots of pieces. It must be good.
Whatever. It’s a significant piece to me. I understand that it might not feel the same to others.
Earth Stories opens Sunday. I can start writing about that quilt soon…I’ve actually started but not finished the first post. Maybe tomorrow night. I’m so glad to have that quilt out of the house.
OK, need to find that sleepy place again. Must sleep so I can go beat the crap out of my physical self in an attempt to get my mental self under control on a long hike. One of my friends said to me today about the depression, “We need to DO something about that.” Made me laugh. Like we could just go to the store and buy a cure. My counselor would ask me if I would actually BUY the cure, or would I stay depressed? I don’t believe in insta-cures for things like this. I think it’s a process and it takes time. If you don’t take the time to work through it, if you just move on and start partying and trying to be a different person, like one person I know right now, I think you end up in the same place…or a worse one. I don’t want to do that. I want to be better…not pretend-better, but really better. So no, I guess I wouldn’t buy the cure. I guess that tells you something about me.
Kathy Nida 