Blow My Mind*

I think I have work in four shows that are closing in the next three days. Something about this week of January. Close it out, change it up. In a similar vein, it’s my last day of Winter Break…there are a few 3-day weekends coming, but then no break until the middle of April (96 days away. Yes. My phone tells me that.). I feel a need to gird my loins, to pull myself up by my bootstraps, to do my laundry (that last thing is probably the most important).

I’ve been doing one drawing a day (a night, really) since the beginning of break, trying to get drawing back in my life, a constant instead of a means to an end, and I’ve been successful with that. I’ve done 22 of them, some more time-consuming and complicated than others, and only a few that will become quilts. Some might be the starting ideas of quilts, like the one I’m working on now came from a drawing I did in a staff meeting that had to be redrawn about 5 times over a 9-month period before it was ready.

So the real question is, what now with the drawing? I don’t think I can realistically continue every night. It takes me on average about an hour to do one, and that’s if I’m concentrating and not trying to do something else. With a job that takes an average of 60 hours a week, I can’t really justify drawing every night, because I would be limiting the time I give to the other art stuff, the actual finishing of quilts and the like. In the past, I tried to schedule drawing one night a week and failed miserably. I don’t know what I’m going to do. Except I know I will draw tonight. Because it’s the last night of break. Anyway. So many things to consider. Like steps toward making a coloring book. I’ll need help, that’s for sure. Wonder what the boychild’s going rate is…

Yesterday was mostly a meeting day. I finished a bunch of things that had to be done in the morning and then we drove a million miles to a meeting (OK, not really, but it seemed like it), which was a good thing, because there’s a show coming up in October and some organizational stuff, plus half the people in this group are in other groups I’m in, and all of us seem to be having aging pains, not growing pains, but what do we do as things change and how do we change to our benefit? When I got home, I did more of those little things that need doing and had dinner and did my daily drawing…

Some simpler than others. Trees and birds in most of them. We had a discussion of why I think it’s important to be part of the change and to take on more work to help these art groups survive. I’m not the one that sits back and waits for other people to do it for me. I’m one of the people who is in the background doing things, taking on stuff for which I have the skills, because others don’t, and they ask for help on things they know I can do (or they guess I can do, because it’s often something I’ve never done before). And sometimes after doing one of those things, I’m like, nope, uh uh, never ever doing that again, and sometimes I’ll be fine with it. So does that take away from time for my own stuff? Of course it does. But if I don’t take on those tasks, those responsibilities, then whatever it is falls apart, the group is no longer, and I’m a member of that group because I need to be. It serves a purpose for me. So I do my stuff.

And for school, when I take on things, it’s because no one else will, or if they do, I don’t trust them to do it right, to be responsible for what the kids need, but mostly it’s because someone else won’t do it. Which annoys the crap out of me. But whatever. It’s always a balance between giving to the group and making sure I have time to get stuff done too. But there’s something in my nature that makes me do the group stuff. It’s important. If you’re in a group now, stop being the one who does nothing (but complain…because trust me, the do-nothings are always complaining). Take on a task for this year. It can be a small one. Realize other people are carrying you and step up. Then maybe one of those doers can take a little break, can take more time for themselves or their work.

Anyway. I also cut things out for about 3 hours…

Getting there. Not there yet. But getting there. Box on the left is cut out. Box on the right is not. Yes the couch is chaos at the moment. See the cat at the bottom of the photo? She’s blurry movement.

Today.

Wish I were these guys. Wish I could replace this carpet too. Not a thing right now.

Today. Get ready for school. No kids tomorrow, thank god, but I need to be ready for them the next day. I’m so behind it’s not even funny. But it’s normal. It’s OK. It will be OK. Go pack up that quilt and mail it off, so I can pay for the phone I just bought (mine was dying). Do laundry! I said that earlier. Clean up. Organize. Get ready. MAKE MORE ART. Really, that’s just one drawing and cutting a bunch of stuff out. Did I mention I didn’t get into the show I was hoping to get into with the last quilt of 2018? I don’t think it’s in the gallery of recent work, so I’ll go put it in there. Oh well. It will go somewhere. They always do. I am very happy with it anyway.

*AWOLNATION, Passion

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