July 6, 2015

Making art is so often a solitary process. Yes, I love having the time off during the summer where I can spend a ton of hours making art (although I feel guilty the entire time for not getting my yard into better shape or finishing the painting of the house or cleaning out the garage or whatever), but it is really isolating at times. I spend hours talking to no one, texting occasionally, with a random phone call NOT from a solar manufacturing company tossed in there for some semblance of sanity. I try to get out and go to the gym or hiking or to meetings with friends, and that helps, but really…I’m spending hours in my head making stuff. I do WANT to be making the stuff. It would just be nicer if there were more people around occasionally. I need to be in an artists’ commune or something. Or not. That would drive me nuts.

So on the 4th of July, as the sun goes down, when most people gather with friends and family, I gathered with my fabric…

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Only for a little while though. I did go to fireworks with the kids and their dad, like we do every year. But I got her eyes ironed down in the right place before I went. I always iron them together separately and then make sure they’re placed NOT crooked.

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Sunday, I spent most of the day cleaning I think. Or trying to avoid the grocery store. The fridge is all cleared out and totally clean, except for the drawer that only comes out if the door comes off. I think I need to replace the door seals. I don’t know how to do that, but I’m fairly sure I can Google that shit. Maintenance is not my strong point.

But I did finally go back to the ironing. I only had the snake’s eyes to do, and then I needed to iron the whole thing down to the background…

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That’s what it looks like when I pull it off the teflon sheet…ready to place on background fabric. I had a brief moment of panic when I thought it was totally the wrong size (I am making this one for a show, so it probably won’t get in, and I don’t care, because it will go somewhere. Sometime.)…

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So I obsessively measured it and it’s fine. Not huge, though, which is a good thing, because I think I have to finish it this week. Deep breaths. So that was last night around 9 PM. Or so.

So what next? Start stitching it down? I’m working on this small commission piece, though, and it just seemed easier to put that one together now that the iron was all set up and ready to go…

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So I started doing that. This is a smaller version of a section of my Mammogram quilt. This one is the actual size of the original drawing, whereas the quilt was enlarged probably 200-250%. So it’s tiny in some ways…

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Yup. Those are some tiny fingernails. I probably could have reduced the detail in those for the size, but I didn’t think that through. But I did get it all ironed down to a background…

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It’s straight in real life. Actually, it’s going to wrap around a canvas frame, so I’m leaving extra on the sides for that. Not sure how I’m going to finish it though…need to figure that out.

Then and only then did I start stitching the other one down…

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Yes, I looked at the clock. I wasn’t going to finish it last night…just start it.

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At least, that’s what I said to myself at the beginning, but then it just got easier and easier to think I should just finish it NOW (here’s how I get into trouble sleepwise)…there’s the back.

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Yes I finished the damn thing. Why?

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Now I can clean the entryway floor (dogs have been sleeping on it) and then lay this out. I think I even have enough batting for this one. Although I should be watching sales…because I know the next big one will need a chunk of batting and I don’t have anything big enough. Although I haven’t finished DRAWING that one yet (minor issue) and there might be another experimental one in between. PLUS, I’m supposed to be working on those little ones for sale. Got sidetracked again. By art. And yes, I have my own chores for today. Sigh. But I’m going hiking with the boychild (he doesn’t know this yet…in fact, I’m not sure he’s awake. I think he is. He has not shown his face.). But first, clean the floor and lay out the quilt. OK, I should eat too (diabetic). Maybe shower just in case someone comes here (doesn’t happen). Another cup of tea. I do shower every day. I swear. Unwashed artist hermiting in her house. I could do that. I could.

Ironing All Day…

July 4, 2015

A nice cool breeze wanders in the window. I spent over 7 hours yesterday making art. I was pretty significantly braindead at the end of all that, but I got a lot done. I didn’t get anything else done. Well, I made dinner. I copied some stuff. I picked up some stuff for my parental units. So not NOTHING. Just close to nothing. It’s OK to do that sometimes. Seriously.

I actually started by picking the fabrics for the breast commission…I had my iPad with the original quilt, so I could see if I could get similar fabrics.

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Which meant sitting on the floor and going through 5 drawers of flesh fabrics…but I found a range that worked.

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I was supposed to be at my quilt meeting about 30 minutes after I got to this stage…I was only about 15 minutes late.

And this is what was underfoot.

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The first fabric in the range, I’m down to this much fabric on this print…the long piece and the pile of tiny pieces above it.

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I think I had a 1/2 yard to start. Luckily, I didn’t need much. The way I make quilts works well with tiny pieces of fabric for most of it.

Here they are, all ironed down…

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And then I went to the meeting and cut them out…

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I also started working on some smaller quilts for sale. I have 1 owl, 2 hearts in hand, and 6 cats. One cat is really weird. Can’t seem to not make the weird. They are all numbered and two are traced onto Wonder Under. I did all that because the larger quilt I’m working on is not really portable at the moment.

Then I came home and ironed for a good long time.

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Kitten was hiding from Katy. The stuff above was what I got done before I started dinner. Well, except I had already done the head and random hand last night. Each hand has around 27 pieces in it. And they’re tiny. Kinda crazy.

I kept going after dinner…

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I did actually converse with humans (albeit related to me) at dinner. OK, I conversed at the quilt thing too. Before that, I went 16 hours with no talking, except to the dogs and cats.

I stopped here, tired, and took a break. I had one part of an arm and another hand to do (you can see the fingers in the bottom right)…

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I actually ironed the lungs and heart separately, and then put them on top and made them fit.

Then I had some apple crisp and managed to finish the arm. And that’s where I stopped last night, well after midnight.

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There will be a lot of detail added with stitching. There’s just the last head left (and all the crap around it). And I need to iron the legs to the torso. I’m at 7 hours and 15 minutes. Not bad. It’s fussy ironing, tiny pieces, but not particularly hard to do. There’s at least another hour, maybe two in this…and that’s to get it down to the fabric as well.

It’s actually really hard to stop at this stage. But I needed to sleep. And be woken by dogs early and often until one kid took one onto his lap (yes, a dog) and the other finally settled and I put my pillow over my head, which is my signal to Kitten that I really need to sleep and she’s annoying me. And for the first time all summer, I did sleep. A miracle.

Katy really isn’t letting Kitten be Kitten…

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That look. She might kill you, Katy. Katy is under the ironing board there. Because that’s not an annoying place to sit.

But no. I need to go to the gym, and there are fireworks tonight, and I might even socialize with people. OK. Person. Let’s not push it people. I don’t count my kids in all that. And I should get some ironing done as well, as I’m waiting for everyone to be wherever it is they want to be. No barbecuing with the family (parents are gone, kids are with their dad…I got them last year), no party, just another Independence Day. Reminds me of the July 4 we spent in Sweden, where no one celebrated with fireworks etc. It was strange. I think it was the first year in my life I hadn’t had all that. We are not hiking to fireworks this year. Maybe next year. I just don’t feel like it. Too tired. I want to sit right under them and hear all the annoying people playing their stupid radios and the crowd getting there and getting back. I want to hear the little kids alternately squealing and screaming, not sure if they’re scared or excited.

Meanwhile, need to get my butt out of here so I can come back and iron. In true independent fashion…


Found My Happy Scissors…

July 3, 2015

I’m plugging along on the art stuff. Summer is so strange. I don’t have to deal with the stress of students and lesson plans, but the home stress increases because everyone is home all the time or they don’t want to be home and they’re going to complain about having to pay for gas or whatever. And yeah, I made you come back and wash all your dishes. I’m that mean.

Giant ass sigh. I actually got shit yesterday for making art instead of driving someone somewhere. Someone who has a license and doesn’t need me to go to that place. And I wanted to say, you know, your mom actually made some money last year and this year off her art, and she used that to buy food last summer. Did you eat that food? Plus art. Sheesh. It’s the part that keeps me alive sometimes. It’s the part that keeps me going when I don’t get enough from elsewhere. It is the only thing I really truly know I have, the only thing I know I can trust to be there. I no longer listen to that voice from that early professor who had lost it, the ability to come up with new ideas. About how it would someday be gone and I should plan for that. I am older now than he was then. And I have enough drawings in my sketchbooks to make quilts until I’m 172, so I think I’m good. Fuck you for putting that worry in my head. Or thank you, because I’ve fought to make sure it would never happen. Hard to say which.

I know the girlchild knows how important it is. Notionally. And when she gets older, she will understand more. I know she knows it was more important for me to be sorting pieces than to drive her to have her TB test checked. I was there at the physical. I am at as many places as I can be. My job…that’s what she should really be mad at…because it’s sucked up more time than my art ever has. And I’m blowing my job off to fly her to college, even though I know we will probably argue the whole time and I will go back to my hotel room in tears…it’s OK. I know it will be OK.

But right now, today, this week. Not so much.

So I make art. And apple crisp. And tea. And I try to shut down the part of my brain that gets sad.

I finished cutting yesterday…because I found the good scissors…and I labeled them so I could find them easier next time…

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And because I couldn’t be in the living room because it was already occupied, I came into my office…

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I think the cutting took about 5 1/2 hours. Everything on this quilt is taking about 5 1/2 hours.

I’ve been having to manage the animals though. Because Kitten, that’s where I lay out my pieces, so you can’t sit there.

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No really. Even though Katy is staring up at you…

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saying to herself, Oh My God, what IS that? Is it tasty? Does it want to play? Katy, the answer to all your questions is No. No, she does not want to be your friend. Kitten. I need that space.

Then I got Calli, and Kitten moved down onto the chair (see the tail?)…

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So I could actually start ironing. And when Calli left, Katy took her spot, so I was always walking over a dog.

I started ironing in the afternoon…

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And then onto the legs, after a 45-minute-long conversation on what the girlchild should be allowed to do and who was responsible for what. Because honestly, I’m a little tired of being responsible for everything. More than a little tired.

So the legs were not easy to iron. Fussy little shading pieces that overlap in a very specific way…

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Plus I had numbered by body, not by logical ironing order. Or maybe I thought it was logical at the time, but it obviously wasn’t. Because it never is.

So I pulled the 200s before the 100s, ironed the bottom of the front leg (front body’s leg), then the top of the back person’s leg, then the top of the front person’s leg, then the top leg, which belongs to the back person. Oh yeah. Follow that?

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I almost quit then, even though it was only 10 or so. But then I realized the remaining leg was a piece of cake compared to what I’d just done, so I whipped it out. Four legs…

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Very pale without their outline stitching of course. I could have stopped then, but sleep has been difficult lately, falling asleep, so I figured I was better off continuing the work…

Then a patterned head. This is back into the 100s…

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Which are almost done. So I think I have about 275 pieces done, close to half. I need to do the whole torso and the hands (the hands are fussy bitches, and there are four of them.). That will take a while. Unfortunately, my quilt class today is taking up the afternoon, and this isn’t really a portable section of the quilt, so it will have to wait until tonight and tomorrow.

I’ve got a brace on my right foot. Rolled my ankle back in April…now I have another list of exercises. Luckily, my podiatrist is a hiker, and besides telling me to spend about $300 on new shoes, he doesn’t want me to stop exercising and hiking, which is awesome, because at one point, I was looking at the shelves of boot casts in the doctor’s office and saying Oh Fuck, Not Again to my myself. So I’m relieved. And pleased.

Now I just need to get my butt out of the studio long enough to do those things. It’s hard, because there is so much art to be made. Meanwhile, I have been bidding on editing jobs, but it hasn’t turned into real work yet. Hopefully soon. Meanwhile. It’s not so bad to be making art. Really.

Lost Days

July 1, 2015

I keep losing whole days to minutia. Today? Chiropractor, shopping for college crap, photographing a gallery space so I can write a better proposal. I finished a book (that’s not lost time. I’m OK with that.). I wanted to be further along with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. So be it.

I spent some time cutting out pieces yesterday…

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I hate my scissors. I don’t like how they cut. I feel like this is not the pair I usually use. I worry that I’m developing arthritis, because I have these weird pains in one finger that were never there before. I cried last night and this morning. I don’t know why. I mean notionally there’s the hormone thing, which is obviously messing with my tiny little brain, and then girlchild had texted me last night about her roommates for college, and I was feeling the empty space around me, even with a dog and a couple of cats, and it was too empty and quiet and because it’s summer, I don’t talk to as many adults. I go into this hermit phase, which is fine when the kids are around, because they check in with me and I with them and there’s at least people around if you fall down and can’t get up or your blood sugar goes wild, but in two months, there will be no one. No one at all.

Yeah. Shut up brain. You suck.

I’ve cut out everything but the flesh colors. Of course, the flesh is a huge part of it (and I did start on those last night, because sleep seemed very far away)…

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I wanted to get the rest done today, but the day disappeared, lost in errands and time wandering and muggy humid thunderstorms that are wandering across the county.

When I was driving from the chiropractor to the art space, I was on this freeway and a good song came on and I accelerated with the music, and the road was rushing by, and the tears were doing the stupid shit they do, and I thought “road trip.” Girlchild had asked me about her and a friend doing one, and I pushed her off, because I don’t trust the car or honestly two barely-18-year-olds, but we can have that discussion with her dad present as well, but fuck me…I’m 48 and I haven’t had a real vacation in a freakin’ long time, unless you count a weekend in San Francisco or Houston, and I had this incredibly huge urge to just keep driving. To not go home. To run away. I had $11 on me. One sketchbook. No food. Yeah. I didn’t say it was a good idea, but it was a big one. A very alluring one. I should keep that in the back of my mind. Run away. You can. Sort of. You do have to get someone in to feed the animals.

Sigh. I saw this while looking at the art space…

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Love street art, paintings on buildings that wrap around doors and windows. Some day. Some day I will do that.

I’m still setting goals. I’m just kind of slow getting some of them done. It is summer. I should excuse some of that slowness. It’s not so bad. I don’t lose whole days; just parts of them. Most of the daylight parts. Maybe I’m just not meant to make art during the day. My night owl brain can’t process it any earlier than it does.

Who knows.

Finishing Up…a Quilt and an Exhibit…

June 30, 2015

Normally I’m a fan of rain, but not when the thunder associated with it makes the girlchild’s dog want to climb into my lap. Then it just sucks big time. She shut the computer down in the middle of a long post for one of the art groups I’m in. I finally managed to close the door to my office, just to get some peace without her trying to dig a hole in my fabric (she’s a Golden Retriever, not something that is easy to hide in a drawer of fabric, but she does it nonetheless). Her mom (the girlchild) is apparently NOT at the Fair, because it’s raining up there too, and the boychild just lost 4 wisdom teeth, so his patience is worn a bit thin and bloody. Plus it’s humid and muggy, not good for me either. But I’m trying to get all this computer crap out of the way, and then I can come out and sit with Ms. Whinypants, because I really need a Retriever on my lap.

Last night, finally, after a ton of stuff was done, I managed to finish ironing the pieces for the newest quilt…

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I told you I would be adding color. It has 49 fabrics and it took about 5 1/2 hours to pick them all.

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Pretty fast, actually. That’s because the majority of them were the same fabrics, so I just had to find them all and figure out which of the 6 flesh or 4 bone colors it needed to be, rather than find all new fabrics.

Kitten has appropriated the chair once taken by Babygirl and by Limbo before her.

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In fact, she’s sitting there now, curled up against my back. I rarely get to sit in the chair properly. I’m always sharing it.

I did start cutting them out last night, mostly because I had to stay up until the girlchild came home, but also because I’m a night owl…

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Although I’m feeling it this morning. Hopefully I’ll get the rest cut out tonight and then move on to ironing. Or maybe I’ll cut out the commissioned breast fabrics. That wouldn’t take long. We’ll see how tired I am. Cutting is fine while tired (I still have all my fingers). Ironing is harder. It requires standing and conscious thought. Always a problem.

I posted for California Fibers about the show opening on Saturday. You can see it all here, on the California Fibers blog. There were a few other artists involved in the show, so I wanted to post about them here.

This is Dani Dodge’s Sutured Jane with her video The Weight of Fabric playing on top of it.

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I met Dani and had a conversation with her after we accidentally photographed each other in this panoramic…

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She’s holding up the camera in the right middle…you can see how crowded the gallery was.

And here’s another view from more in the middle…of the gallery, not Dani.

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Sandra Lauterbach was there with 6 pieces…yes, I know there are only 5 in this photo. I’m not sure where the 6th was.

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Here’s a view from the stairs in the back, where more pieces were hiding…notably, Camilla Taylor’s We Waited, 4 figures total.

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Here you can see three of them and her piece on the right, Feign.

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I was more than a little fascinated with their construction…

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listed as fabric, welded steel, paper pulp infrastructure. The stitcher in me wants to know HOW.

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Terri Hartman’s work continued down the stairs with her Melancholy Sideshow

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Her Bullseye pieces…

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In different sizes going up the stairs…

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And her highly amusing My Family Tree

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consisting of descriptions of people we ALL want in our family…

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Sold separately!

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Seriously. I know these people.

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And her Altered Definitions

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Lastly was a room with an installation, photographs, and video by Marisa CaichioloNo More Blood in Your Clothes

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As you can see here…

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The requisite picture of the harried artist, finally in front of her art (which was in a good place, right in front of the wine station)…

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This guy matched the quilt…

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Anyway, it was a good exhibit opening, which was nice, considering the drive. I would love to go back and peruse the hardware store as well…

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Walls and walls of fun stuff. Now on to the next exhibit…although, honestly, I’m not sure I have one coming up with a local opening (or even one within a 3-hour drive), so it might be a while before I get to have those types of photos again. All the more reason to enjoy this one.

Interrupt My Routine

June 29, 2015

You know you want to. Just interrupt it. I dare you. Get me out of my routine. I’m used to getting up, showering, feeding animals while making tea, and writing my blog while drinking the tea and eating my Cheerios. Then I go to work. It works. It’s 9 months of the year. The other three…it takes me a while. I often still get up, shower, etc., all in the same order but a few hours later (hell, I go to sleep later too), but there are some days where I can’t manage anything close to a routine. I had a cup of tea this morning on the way to the girlchild’s physical. I didn’t eat breakfast. Lunch was late because I was on hold with two separate medical offices, trying to coordinate two appointments (some nurses are angels, I will say that).

I turned the iron on to get working about an hour and a half ago. Then I remembered I was supposed to be writing a proposal for a piece in an exhibit. I’ve written proposals before, but not for something like this. I wrote it once and then accidentally deleted it. I wrote it a second time, making sure I saved it 17 times. But I don’t know if it’s any good. Whatever. I’ll wait before I send it. Read it again before I send it. There’s no loss if I’m rejected…it’s kind of a tight deadline as it is. As I considered an editing job this morning that would have taken 50-60 hours a week for the next 4 weeks. And decided I couldn’t do it. Sigh. Bugger.

I think it takes me a while in the summer to get used to working during the day. I’m so used to working late at night, after dinner and dish cleanup and all that crap. Into the early morning hours, which are plaguing me now, at sleepy-afternoon time. Seriously. I don’t do well between 2 and 5 PM.

So I wrote the damn proposal and dealt with some other paperwork and college stuff, and then I made another cup of tea and tried writing today’s blogpost. Seriously. So I can get on with the fucking ironing.

Yesterday was a mess. I was tired. I did the grocery shopping etc. and then finally started ironing at 9:30 at night. See? I’m on vacation and I can’t start earlier than that. I started with the ground and a cat…

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Easy peasy. Then I started on the flesh. I had already picked out the fabrics (although I had to add one at some point when I realized I needed a darker one), but needed bone colors as well. It’s probably a good thing I didn’t think this through, because the majority of this quilt is flesh…

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It took two hours to pick them all. Because like I said, the majority is flesh…maybe 400 pieces of it. And stopping in the middle would have meant confusion, getting off track, getting off the roll I was on. So I didn’t stop. And then I realized it was like 11:30. And I still had to iron them all down…

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So I did. It took a long time and I was pretty tired at the end.

Here’s all the pieces that weren’t flesh: the lungs, the nipples (technically flesh, but different colors), the hair, the eyes…I still have to do them.

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That’s why I turned the iron on an hour and a half ago.

OK. I’m amused. They just extended the proposal date until next week. My lord. I could actually go look at the space (again…I’ve seen it before).

Here’s everything I got ironed. Looks pretty bland.

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It kinda is. Well, all the color will be in the weird stuff I add now…the tattoos and the fish and the holy crap it’s humid here. We San Diegans cannot handle humidity. (OK, it’s only 45% at the moment, but it’s usually 2%. So we’re dying.)

Yesterday I had Midnight until she decided the iron was pushing out too much heat in her personal space…

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Today I have Kitten, who keeps coming in and meowing plaintively at me, “Get out of the chair, bitch. It’s afternoon and in the afternoon, I sleep in that chair.” Well, yes, and I WOULD be ironing, if people didn’t keep fucking with my routines. Tomorrow I’ll be sitting in a waiting room…waiting. Boychild needs his wisdom teeth out. Fun stuff.

Here’s all the fabrics I’ve used so far (in the plastic bin).

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Mostly flesh and bone. The pinks outside the box are going to be used, but haven’t been yet. Not a ton of color yet. But it’s going fast. Three hours in and I probably only have another hour, maybe hour and a half to go? Like NOW. Except I said I would go to the gym today. FUCK. I swear, I need 5 or 6 more hours in a day, which is crazy, because I’m not even going to WORK right now and I can’t get it all done.

OK. It’s OK. I read this in the last book…”People are screwed up in this world. I’d rather be with someone screwed up and open about it than somebody perfect and…you know…ready to explode.” (Ned Vizzini) It’s true. I’m done with the people who think they’re perfect. Or that tell me I think I’m perfect (so not true). The wonder of living with teenagers…

Gym. Then home and probably dinner and ironing. Maybe ironing, dinner, ironing. I should probably run the dishwasher before I go. They use a lot of dishes, those bizarre complaining aliens that were my children. Earlier today I called myself an unpaid project manager with shitty employees. Yup. That’s it. I’m getting a new one tomorrow. It sheds and it’s very needy. Stay tuned.

Rainbows and Pirates and Rain, Oh My!

June 27, 2015

First of all, although this image was amazing enough for me to show it to the teens I was feeding…


The photos that had me in and out of tears all night were all those couple photos posted by my friends, same sex and different. It’s funny. I have absolutely no desire to be married, but hearing about their plans and their joy was wonderful. All my love to them…may they do it better than I did. I’m glad they now have a choice. Sometimes the world does stuff that makes sense.

Yesterday, I was determined to get shit done. No really. Drove to Home Depot and bought wood for the living room book shelves, so I can get the books off the floor and art on the walls and finish that shit from last year’s remodel. Now I just need boychild to drive them over to dad’s and cut them and then sand and stain and find some way to hang them, because I didn’t like anything in Home Depot. Or it was too expensive. I just want it fucking done.

I had an extra teenager for a Pirates-of-the-Caribbean-watching festival for quite a few hours, but I did not let that run me out of my living room, because I needed the light table. I asked permission to stay and it was granted. Mostly because I admitted that Johnny Depp was hot. Well. He is.

I had a request for a commission of the breast in a quilt I made last year, but it needed to be redrawn, so I made a run to Fed Ex to copy some stuff after I went to Home Depot. Then I redrew it, moving the top hand and getting rid of some of the chaos behind it. Then I traced it onto Wonder Under.

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I had some cats I had drawn to make as smaller quilts…but they are all curled up. I vetoed a couple others that were similar.

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The one on the bottom left will be more complicated (and expensive) than the other two.

Then I had the simpler version of the heart/hands I did for FFAC, a standing cat, and another owl from one of the bathtub drawings.

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So I think I will start with those and see how they do. Oh here. I found the new breast drawing…

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For those who don’t know where this came from, I had a series of mammograms regarding a shadow in one breast, so I had to go in multiple times over a yearlong period. It was kind of scary at one point when they called me at school to tell me about a followup appointment when my doctor hadn’t had time to check in with me, but it’s all good now. I just have dense breasts. So they make weird shadows. And whatever is in there, it’s been the same size and shape for a good long time, so we’re back to squishing once a year and watching it. Hallelujah. Alien boob.

Anyway, I also finished cutting out the Wonder Under for the next piece I’m working on and for the breast piece. And then I sorted the WU for the larger quilt…

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It only has about 560 pieces in it, and it’s not particularly large, so hopefully it will go quickly. By that time, I’d had enough of Depp and pirates, so I had moved into my office, where the iron and the fabric live. Plus then I got to watch more Star Trek and stop listening to squealing girls. Who are adults really…one is 18 and the other will be 18 in August. They asked permission to marry (jokingly) and I said no…they’re too young. I don’t care about the rest.

Then I got on the floor at about 11:30 last night (Pirates still going on!) and found the fleshtones I wanted to use for the two overlapping figures.

Jun 27 15 006 small

Along with some brighter pinks for lips and nipples. I wanted to start picking fabrics last night, but once I got the first 100 pieces of Wonder Under laid out, it was 12:30. So I stopped. But I got a lot done yesterday, so I felt OK. Now I’m writing this and on hold with my car insurance company, which doesn’t realize I’m firing it. Whatever. All these things I need to do before I leave today for Los Angeles. Looking forward to the opening. But also a bit apprehensive. That part of town has some significant memories for me and I’m nervous to be going up there. Stupid that a place can do that to us, but our brain remembers things like landmarks and smells and certain phrases, and those things can set us off…and my brain has been a mess the last two days.

I finished reading this…

funny story

It’s Kind of a Funny Story by Ned Vizzini…it was good…about a high-school kid fighting depression. It was a bit simplistic in how he solves the issue, but I liked his explanation of tentacles and anchors. Based on Vizzini’s real-life experience on a psych floor in a hospital.

OK. One insurance company fired. Waiting on a callback from the other one. Then off to the Big City.

Omigod. Is that rain? It’s rain people. Rain. The world is a wonderful place.


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